2022-05-31 Rainslw 15616
In China, why is marriage valued so much that parents usually think that their adult children must get married, even if marrying a person their children


Aakash Sachdev
For generations, marriage was arranged by parents who followed the principle of “matching doors and windows,” which meant that people needed to marry those of similar social and economic standing. This is what Chinese call mendang hudui, meaning roughly “family doors of equal size.” Marriage was viewed as a contract between two households, and it was for the purpose of procreation, not love.This sentiment was further reinforced by existing dynasties and Chinese governments. They see family as the basic cell of society. They see marriage between a man and a woman as a politically stabilizing institution. The thought behind marriage is that it contributes towards peace and stability; as such, being the dominant custom late into the 20th century. By not getting married, you will not be procreating - although things are different nowadays.


Within mindsets of society, parents and other elders, too, marriage is seen as a marker of normalcy and the most significant milestone of adulthood. Not only that, but a wedding is designed more for the parents than it is for the children. It's a way to show off to business partners and friends. It's a statement event that represents how parents have done well in securing a steady and prosperous future for their children .Pressure from parents, peers, and state adds up — and sometimes it is these factors, rather than romance, that lead Chinese millennials down the aisle. “Many young women still marry even if they don’t want to,” Hong Fincher says, “because they feel it’s their responsibility and their duty to their parents.”Marriage is, first and foremost, about family and community. Not love. And it is valued as such an important custom or tradition because it contributes towards the greater good - stability and peace and future improvement of society. Moreover, it shows respects towards ones parents by obeying to their decisions or views.


By not getting married, you essentially become one of the left overs. This in itself is an issue. Society looks down on you and think there is something inherently wrong with you. Notions are changing among youth, yet parents are still stuck on existing mindsets. I believe the upcoming parental generation will be much more open about this, as traditional courtship and marriage rituals continue to evaporate. Just to give you an idea: in 1970, only 1.8% of couples lived together before marriage. By 2000, that number had skyrocketed to 32.6% .Would you believe me if I told you that there is an actual park in Shanghai where parents find mates for their offspring?


Few reasons why
Only married folks can be treat as a real adult. Chinese believe in age and mature. Somewhat like old European way. Non married people can be seen as non mature and non adult.
It is a certification of capability. Single man or bachelor do not have respect in little circle of people.
China is family oriented. You are just a part of this family, you should do what the family want you to. Think about those blue blood in Western countries. You must have an engagement before your 18. Age and you must marry at blablabla. You must marry a proper girl who believe in xxx church and born from what family. Same thing. China is alike to old Europe. Check with Stefan Zweig book yesterday world. You can get to know how Chinese we're thinking about.

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June Mob
marriage is important,it makes you feel less lonely.If you get married at a certain age for example between the age of 25 to 30,it would be the best life arrangement.When you get married, you would concentrate on your career to make more money so as to support your family life. Otherwise, the marriage problem will be around your mind all the time, it affects the life and work career.
The culture of Chinese don’t encourage to be specific. Indeed, if you have the same background with another person, it will be fit to live together in the remainder of life.

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Rusty J Shackleford
This is not just Chinese culture, it’s also kind of true in America. Being married means you are an adult. If you are not married, you’re a bachelor/ette, you probably live in a crappy bachelor pad or with your mom.
People disrespect you at work even in the US. It’s hard to get promoted at work, as a single man.