2021-05-10 ycb1990 4575


Natasha Barrett
The very last camping trip my then-boyfriend-now-husband and I took. It was the end of summer 2013. We’d just moved in together a week before, and I was due to start a new job as soon as we got back from our trip. We’d settled on a week of camping near St. David’s, Wales.

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A couple of days before our trip, I started to feel like I was coming down with something. By the morning we were due to set off, I was in full blown, snotty, hacking cough cold mode. It was unpleasant, but I was stubborn and stupid, so I decided we were still going camping, regardless. We spent most of the day travelling, arrived, got our tent pitched, and cooked dinner over the camping stove whilst enjoying the gorgeous sea views, and then settled in for the night.


About 3am, I woke up and realised just how stupid I’d been to set off camping in freezing, wet, miserable Wales whilst battling a cold that I knew perfectly well was likely to turn into a chest infection. I had a fever and couldn’t for the life of me stop shivering, so I decided to wake my husband and ask for help.


My husband woke up startled and immediately sprained a muscle in his neck. He couldn’t move.


I somehow managed to locate the first aid kit with paracetamol and ibuprofen. Given the hour, there was little more we could do. I lay curled up in my sleeping bag reading “Stardust” to my husband through coughs and chattering teeth until it was finally late enough in the morning for a phone call to the nearest B&B.

我设法找到了急救箱,里面有扑热息痛和布洛芬。由于当时是凌晨,我们也没有其它选择。我蜷缩在睡袋里,一边咳嗽,一边牙齿打颤的给丈夫读《星尘》 ,直到第二天早上给最近的旅馆打求救电话。

They had a room available! We trundled up there to see if there was a warm place we could curl up in until it was time to book in, and they took pity on us. They said they had an empty room from an early checkout and they’d get it ready ASAP. The owner of the place very generously drove me back down to the camping site and helped me get all of our gear packed into his car, and then drove us back up. By the time I got back, I had a hot bath waiting for me. It was heaven! Husband and I both dosed
ourselves up with every medication we had and curled up in to the softest, warmest, coziest bed I have ever slept in!


After a day of recovery, we were well enough to start enjoying the holiday again. Well, husband was, I had a hacking cough that I knew was only going to get worse, but I ignored it and enjoyed the costal hikes regardless.


It was both the best and worst holiday of our many years together. What we learned that week was that we could get each other through the most miserable of circumstances of cold, damp camping in Wales andstill loving each other!


On a more serious note, unfortunately the cold I had turned into a series of viral infections over the span of the next 6 months and I subsequently developed myalgic encephalomyelitis. As a result, I had to give up my new job. Then boyfriend-now-husband has continued to show me that I’ve chosen the right one by continuously caring for and loving me all these many years.

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Upama Sinha
A very personal question but one that I want to answer.


I met my husband 14 years ago when I was a fat, geeky, braces-wearing teenager with lots of issues. That was perhaps the worst phase of my life, where I was at my lowest and the thoughts of suicide were constantly companying me. And he was there- extremely good looking, super intelligent and everything that you could imagine in your Prince Charming. I saw him first in a New Year’s party, where he was smiling without any inhibitions. Our eyes locked and we have never looked away or sought
anyone else. He has been my best friend, my life partner and now is the father of my son. I was this fat ugly duckling (still am) but I don’t know how he thinks I am beautiful.

14年前,我遇到了我的丈夫,当时我还是一个胖胖的、讨厌的、戴着牙套的、有很多问题的青少年。那可能是我生命中最糟糕的阶段,我处于人生的最低谷,自杀的念头一直伴随着我。而我现在的丈夫非常英俊,非常聪明,你可以想象在你的白马王子身上发生的一切,他都具备。我第一次见到他是在一次新年聚会上,他毫无顾忌地微笑着。我们的目光紧紧锁定彼此,从来没有移开过视线,也没有去寻找其他人。他一直是我最好的朋友,我的生活伴侣,现在是我儿子的父亲。我曾经是一只又胖又丑的小鸭(现在仍然是) ,我不知道他怎么会认为我很漂亮。

Well, that first sight was the moment I fell for him and I knew that I have found my happiness.


But what makes me feel that he is the right partner in my life?


He reaffirms this every day- when he switches the side while crossing a road, when he lets me have the majority of anything that we both are enjoying, when he warns me every time of the pothole or some random garbage in front of me while walking (even though I might have already noticed it), when he doesn't let me hold any extra bag while we are shopping, when I look same to him whether dressed up or not, when his eyes subconsciously search mine even amidst friends and family.

他每天都在一些小细节上关心我。在过马路的时候,他会走在有车的那一边。他让我拥有我们两个都喜欢的大部分东西,他每次走路时都会提醒我注意路上的坑洞或者随处可见的垃圾(尽管我可能已经注意到了) ,他在我们购物时不让我多拿一个包,我不管穿没穿都会看着他,他的眼睛下意识地搜索我的眼睛,即使是在朋友和家人中间。

My profile pic was taken one day after our marriage when I felt free to spread my wings coz he was/is there to look out for every danger ahead of me and help me thwart it!


Can’t share his pics, maybe someday!


Kristen Hague
Believe it or not, about 2 weeks after he'd broken up with me.

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We had communication issues. We didn't fight about anything of substance but it literally felt like we were speaking two different languages because we come from such different places in life and had such skewed perspectives because we'd experienced a lot of crap in our lives that we'd normalized.


But despite how different we were, we were complimentary to one another. He'd broken up with me because he was sick of the bickering. I was exhausted from trying to explain and reexplain myself over and over attempting to clear up misunderstandings. Still, we had feelings and shortly after breaking up we decided to give it another go with a fresh start.


Basically, we made promises to reach other about changes we'd employ to make things better.And you know what happened? We stopped fighting. Not all at once, but dramatically less from day one. He kept every one of his promises and I took mine just as seriously. We never had to sit down and tally up how successful we were because we were both suddenly truly happy.


And that's when I knew. He was the right guy for me because he was willing to work for the relationship and I'd proven that he was worth it to me too. 2 years later, almost to the day, we're now lounging side by side, a married couple who haven't had a real fight in over a year. We've continued to improve things and learned how to meet in the middle.

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There's nothing sexier than knowing a relationship is growing stronger and that you can move past conflict.


Jhackeline Romero
So, I met my boyfriend when I was 15 and he was 14. I was a sophomore in HS, he was a freshman. We met and became the best of friends, and about 7 months down the line he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. He was my first BF, currently still my BF, and I know he will be my last.


That was a bit over 7 years ago- and today we are two broke college students, 21 & 22. Life is good, we both have great families (I’m Mexican and he is Caucasian), and we attend the same CSU together although we are in different programs; we’ve never broken up and we’ve been living together about 3 years now. So you may be wondering still (which makes total sense, considering you're reading my answer)… what moment did you realize you chose the right partner in life, Jhacky?

那是7年多以前的事了。今天我们是两个没有啥积蓄的穷大学生,分别是21岁和22岁。生活很美好,我们都有很棒的家庭(我是墨西哥人,他是高加索人) ,我们一起读加州大学,虽然我们在不同的系。 我们从未分手,我们已经住在一起大约3年了。所以你可能还在想(考虑到你正在阅读我的答案,这是完全有道理的) ... ... 在什么时候你意识到你选择的伴侣是正确的?

Was it when you first kissed, and he carried you home because you were too over-the-moon to walk?


Was it when you saw all the girls pining over him and yet he still made you feel like the only one in the world?

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Was it when you had some family problems and he respected your wishes and bit his tongue, so as to not disrespect your traditional parents?


The list can go on and on… there were so many moments throughout our relationship where I “thought” I knew for sure he was the one. He has always been the one…

这样的例子可以一直列下去... ... 在我们的关系中,有很多时候我“认为”我确信他就是我的真命天子。他一直都是..。

But, the moment I knew for absolute sure, without a doubt, was when he stood by me- no, carried me- through the year of mental hell I put us through.


Some really dark stuff was said by me, some really dark thoughts plagued me. I was constantly crying. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat at times. One second I wanted to die and the next I was having an actual existential crisis and fearing my inevitable death.


So many details unlisted… that year was a big blur of depression and anxiety like never before.

还要很多的细节没有列出来... 那一年我的抑郁和焦虑比以往任何时候都要强烈。

I wanted to die. I wanted to go so bad. I had never experienced that before… and it was killing me to put myself and him through it.

我想死,我以前从来没有经历过这样的事情... ... 让我和他一起经历这样的事情简直要了我的命。

One day, when I was nearing the worst of it all, I looked at this beautiful human being… he had so much concern and yet all I could think about was how I wanted to be gone. I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him anymore… of dragging him through my hell. I looked at him and pleaded, “You need to let me go. You need to leave me now, go find someone who isn’t like me… someone stable. Just let me go so I can just kill myself already and not feel so guilty.”

有一天,当我想要结束自己生命的时候,我看着面前这个美丽的人... 他是有多么关心我,但我所能想到的就是我应该怎样离开这个世界。我无法忍受再去伤害他... ... 把他拖进我的地狱。我看着他,恳求道: “你得让我走。你现在需要离开我,去找一个不像我这样的人... 一个正常人。让我走吧,这样我就可以自杀了,而不会感到内疚。”

At first, the look in his eyes made me think, “he’s considering it… good.” But then I noticed his teary eyes and he looked at me and, with so much love and patience, said “Jhackeline, I will never leave you. I’m not going to. So don’t say that. I’m always going to be here. I could never move on from you. And I won’t just let you go. You can’t let go because I’m not letting go of you” .

起初,他的眼神让我感觉到,“他正在考虑我的建议... ... 这很好。”但后来我注意到他含泪的眼睛,他看着我,用那么多的爱和耐心说: “Jhackeline,我永远不会离开你。我不会的。所以别这么说。我会一直在这里。我永远无法从你身边走开。我不会就这么让你走的。你不能放手,因为我不会放手”。

I wish I could tell you that was a cure to my mental struggles… it wasn’t. I ended up admitting myself to the hospital where I began the journey to recovery and learned more coping skills and received an actual diagnosis of GAD, depression, OCD. I was placed on meds. I stayed in the facility for about two weeks. It was hard, it was surreal, and it saved my life… but I still felt ashamed. But guess what, he stayed right by my side and he suffered through it; something I hated myself for causing.

我希望我可以告诉你,他的鼓励就是我精神斗争的解药... ... 但它不是。我最终住进了医院,在那里我开始了恢复的旅程,学到了更多的应对技巧,并且确诊了:我得的是焦虑症,抑郁症和强迫症。我被强迫服药。我在那里呆了大约两个星期。整个治疗过程是艰难的,但它拯救了我的生活... 但我仍然感到羞愧。但是,你猜怎么着,他一直陪在我身边,忍受着这一切。有时我会恨我自己,因为都是我一手造成的。

Coming out of the facility, I repeatedly apologized for putting him through such hell. I still do apologize… sometimes I’ll look over at him as he sits and looks like the angel that he is, and I’ll tell him “I’m sorry for that summer…”. Or when I have my bad episodes, because I’m not ‘cured’ unfortunately, and I ologize all over again for being such a struggle. He has never let me accept the guilt. Because of him, I can shed away the self hate and guilt. He doesn’t hold a grudge against me, he loves me unconditionally and treats me like me… the same girl who fell in love with him all those years ago; the one who tells corny jokes and laughs at everything.

出院的时候,我一再为让他经历这样的痛苦而道歉。我现在还时不时的向他道歉... ... 有时候我会看着他像个天使一样坐着,我会对他说: “对那个夏天我很抱歉... ...”。或者当我发作的时候,因为不幸的是我没有被治愈,我会再一次为我的挣扎道歉。他从来不让我承担罪责。因为他,我可以摆脱自我憎恨和内疚。他没有对我怀恨在心,他无条件地爱我,把我当成就是那个多年前爱上他的女孩; 那个讲老掉牙的笑话,笑对一切的女孩。

Conner is an angel on this earth, my angel.Life isn’t always easy, and I still get really low sometimes… but knowing that my best friend believes in me and knowing that I have the best partner to live this life with keeps me going.

康纳是这个世界上的天使,我的天使。生活并不总是那么简单,有时候我还是会情绪低落... ... 但是知道我最好的朋友相信我,知道我有最好的伴侣和我一起生活,这会让我坚持下去。

Ava Mishra
There are many incidents which made me realize that I have chosen the right partner. But there were these 3 specific incidents that I will not forget all through my life.

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1. I was hospitalized due to stomach ulcer and stayed in the hospital for 2 days. None of my family members were allowed to stay with me as I was in a shared cabin. The only time when my husband could visit me was in the visiting hours that was 4 pm to 7 pm. As I was not able to sleep properly due to pain, I was put to sleep by sedatives and was not able to stay awake even for 5 minutes. Even though my husband knew that, he used to visit me in the hospital everyday and sit by the side of my bed watching me for the whole 3 hours. He would come and say Hi to me and I would open my eyes just for a while and then sleep again. He would then wake me up to say Bye when he left at 7 pm. The nurses at the hospital used to notice this and one even said I was lucky as my husband loved me so much.


2. I had restrictions on food for almost 6 months after stomach ulcer was detected. I was told to eat less oil, no outside food or spicy food, no chillies and even restricted to some vegetables, fruits and milk products. Though I am not a foodie, but it was killing me as I was not able to eat things that I wanted. I was bored of my regular food. So my husband decided to eat whatever I ate and he did not eat anything outside till my restriction was waived. He does not know much cooking and still he managed to go through some recipes over the web and prepared Veg Clear Soup to surprise me one day when I returned from office.


3. Sometime back when I had fever I was just taking rest and I did not realize when I slept. At the middle of the night when I woke up, I saw my husband sleeping on the floor on a mat without any blankets. It was a winter night and the floor was quite chilly just to sleep on a mat. When I asked him why he did not wake me up, he said I was sleeping so peacefully that he did not want to move or disturb me. As I had taken most of the space on the bed and occupied the blanket too, he decided to sleep on the floor.


Alan Waters
Not long after we were married, I went to the field for training. While I was in the field, my wife went over to our friends’ house for a small girls get together. She knew all but one of the girls. After a while, the girl she didn't know said let's go to the NCO club and let soldiers buy us drinks. Now she was married like all the other wives there. My wife said no she didn't want to go to any club without me. The girl said it doesn't hurt anyone and nothing is going to happen. My wife said she was not going to go to the NCO club. The other wives said yeah what she said. After we got out of field, we went over to our friends’ house for a cook out. My friend’s wife came up to me and said help me with something in the kitchen. She then said I was worried a little when you got married after only knowing each other for only two months. She then told me about the night at her house. She said whatever you do don't screw up with her because she is a keeper. She said you got a good one.

我们结婚后不久,我就去野外训练了。当我在外训练的时候,我的妻子到我们朋友的家里去参加一个小型的女孩聚会。除了一个女孩之外,她认识其他所有人。过了一会儿,那个她不认识的女孩说,我们去军官俱乐部,让士兵请我们喝酒。参加派对的大多数女孩都结婚了。我妻子说不,她不想在没有我的情况下独自去任何俱乐部。女孩说去俱乐部不会伤害任何人,也不会发生任何事。我的妻子说反正她不会去 NCO 俱乐部。其他的妻子也附和我妻子说的话。在我训练回来后,我和妻子到朋友家吃饭。我朋友的妻子走到我跟前,说让我去厨房里帮一下忙。然后她说本来你们才认识对方两个月就结婚了,我有点担心你们之间的感情。然后她告诉了我她家那晚的事。她说不管你做什么都不要搞砸你们的婚姻,因为她是个忠诚的人。她还说我找到了一个不错的媳妇。

After we got home I told her I didn't know what the future held financially or anything else. But I promise I will always work hard and I will never cheat on you. She then said then if you never cheat and always work hard then whatever you make will be enough for us.


Not long ago she said probably one of the smartest things I ever heard. We were talking about how little money we used to live on and how happy we always were. She said if you are not happy as a couple when you don't have a lot. Then having money and stuff will not make you happy.


I then told her we were happy then, we are happy now while we are comfortable financially. I don't want to go back there. Just saying! Almost 36 years and yes I know how incredibly lucky I am.