每次我女儿去看望她的中国高中朋友,她都会带回一个盛满各种各种普通食品的袋子,这些东西都是她朋友的妈妈买的。我们不穷,所以我觉得有点尴尬。这难道是中国人的基本礼节吗 ?
2021-05-13 ycb1990 36117
正文翻译


每次我女儿去看望她的中国高中朋友,她都会带回一个盛满各种各种普通食品的袋子,这些东西都是她朋友的妈妈买的。我们不穷,所以我觉得有点尴尬。这难道是中国人的基本礼节吗?

评论翻译
Colin Wong (MY)
Let me share with you a story.

让我和你分享一个故事。

Many years ago, when my mum was still with us, we were visiting a family friend but oops, we forgot to buy gifts (usually food) for the family. My mum was adamant that we should not enter someone’s home as a guest empty handed (by this time, we we parked and she just found out!). She just wouldn’t want to go into the house.

很多年前,当我妈妈还和我们在一起的时候,我们去拜访一个亲戚。但是我们忘了买礼物(通常买些食物)。我妈妈坚持认为我们不应该空手进入别人的家(我们停车后她才发现没有带礼品)。她就是不想空手进亲戚的家。

I had to drive her to a shop to get some gifts and well, the first thing we did was to greet the host and present to them a bag of food.

我不得不开车送她去一家商店买礼物。我们进亲戚家门的第一件事就是向主人问好,并送给他们一袋食物。

So here I am, an adult, with kids, still doing the same. Every now and then, frantically circling the neighbourhood to buy something meaningful. That means, if it is fruits (common gift), I’d choose something more than the ordinary if I can afford it. Ferrero Rocher, by the way, is a common chocolate gift.

我现在结婚了,有了孩子,仍然在做着同样的事情。时不时地,疯狂地在附近兜圈子,想买些有意义的礼物。如果送水果的话(普通的礼物) ,我会在我能力范围内买一些比较贵的水果。顺便说一下,如果你想送巧克力,费列罗是个不错的选择。

Very often, we gift people stuff that we like. I remember my wife and I went to Europe and bought my mum a perfume set. And one day, we saw her giving it to my aunt because my aunt had been so helpful to my mum. My wife was puzzled (she is the westernised half of us :D) and I told her, it is acceptable because we give to other good stuff if we really appreciate them. It means that my aunt really did my mum heaps of good and she is super appreciative. And I knew, she deserved it. So this is our language of love.

很多时候,我们送给别人我们喜欢的东西。我记得我妻子和我去欧洲给我妈妈买了一套香水。有一天,我们看到她把香水给了我阿姨,因为我阿姨对我妈妈帮助很大。我的妻子很困惑(她是中西方混血) ,我告诉她,这是可以接受的,因为如果我们真的很感激别人对我们的帮助,我们会给他们送点好的东西。这意味着我的阿姨真的对我妈妈做了很多好事,而且我妈妈对此非常感激。我知道,这是她应得的。送礼物是我们表达爱的另一种形式。

It is cultural. It may be something that people find stranges. But I find it so us. And it is good for the soul.

这是一种文化。其他人可能觉得这样很奇怪,但我觉得这样很合适。对灵魂也有好处。

I think world peace will be upon us only when we as a humanity, learn to understand each other and with humility, try to accommodate each other and to express ourselves using action language that can be understood.

我认为,只有当我们作为一个共同体,学会相互理解和谦逊,努力相互包容,并使用能够被理解的行动语言表达自己时,世界才会和平。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


June Williams
Ferrero Rocher is wrapped in gold paper and shaped like gold nuggets. I’m glad your mother taught you how to speak this language of love! We don’t speak it as fluently here in the U.S.

费列罗巧克力用金色的纸包着,形状像金块。我很高兴你的母亲教你如何说这种爱的语言!遗憾的是在美国,我们缺乏这些爱的语言。

Louis Wang
Love this answer, indeed.

我真的很喜欢这个答案。

Mark Bishop
My first wife was Chinese. My lovely son is half Chinese. Back when I lived in Los Angeles, Chinese surrounded me. I could walk down the street and visit a Jack in the Box to get a breakfast or cross the street to DiHo, a Chinese supermarket, and get anything Asian.

我的第一任妻子是中国人。我可爱的儿子有一半中国血统。当我住在洛杉矶的时候,我周围住的都是中国人。我可以去街上的Jack in the Box吃早餐,或者穿过街道去DiHo,一家中国超市,买任何亚洲的东西。我儿子喜欢吃他们的饺子。

I can recall going together with my son into DiHo to pickup some groceries and then suddenly several Chinese women would surround me talking Chinese to my son and pinching him with adoration. I spoke little Chinese, but I could tell they were being very kind to us.

我记得我和儿子一起去 DiHo 买东西的时候,突然几个中国女人围在我身边,和我儿子说中文,并且用崇拜的眼光看着住他。我几乎不会说中文,但我能看出他们对我们很友好。

And there were times my wife was in China or Hong Kong and my son and I were alone, and I lost count at how many times Chinese would knock on my door and have food for us. Even my wife’s relatives would drive 30 minutes one way to our home to make sure we had food.

有时候我妻子在中国大陆或者香港,我和儿子两个人在家里,我记不清有多少次中国邻居敲我家的门,给我们送吃的。甚至我妻子的亲戚也会开车30分钟到我们家给我们送吃的。

It’s totally normal to see Chinese extend their kindness and care towards others. I commonly find this in most Asian groups.

看到中国人对别人表现出善意和关心是完全正常的。这在大多数亚洲人群中很常见。

I can recall being in Hong Kong one time, and I was alone and feeling tired and hungry after my flight. Downstairs in the hotel was a Chinese supermarket that also had prepared foods. An old Chinese woman saw me and came right up to me and felt my forehead. She got together several dishes and soups and bagged them all up, trying to explain to me when and how to eat them. She didn’t have to do that, but she did.

我记得有一次在香港,我独自一人,在飞行之后感到又累又饿。酒店楼下是一家中国超市,那里有熟食。一位中国老太太看到我,径直走到我跟前,摸了摸我的额头。她准备了几道菜和几份汤,把它们都打包好,试图向我解释什么时候吃,怎么吃。她没必要这么做,但她做到了。

I’ve seen Chinese being tough as nails on the outside and seemingly uncaring, but it’s really only a facade. Chinese, maybe not all of them, always remember family, and even the total stranger, and will help. Whether it’s just handing you a bag of food; or to mend torn trousers, they do and seldom complain.

我见过中国人外表看着很凶,表面上漠不关心,但实际上只是表面现象。中国人,也许不是全部,总是记得家人,甚至也会帮助完全陌生的人。不管是给你一袋食物,还是修补破旧的裤子,他们都会这样做,而且很少抱怨。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


And in case you’re wondering, I’m not Chinese.

顺便告诉你一声,我不是中国人。

We are all human and survive day by day.

我们都是人,每天都在为生活奔波。

Grace Zhao
I like your point of view, friend!

我喜欢你的观点,朋友!

CHUNLIN HE
Quite pertinent

说的相当中肯

Emma Pichon de Bury
For this specific event, I don't know exactly, but I have a coupe of stories about Chinese people and food!

我忘记具体是怎么回事了,但是我有一些关于中国人和中国食物的故事!

2 years ago I moved to the UK to go to university. I was living in a student hall, and among my flatmates there was a Chinese girl, Crystal. We quickly became friends, along with our Portuguese flatmate, Ana.

2年前我搬到英国去上大学。我住在一个学生宿舍里,在我的室友中有一个中国女孩,名字叫Crystal。我们很快就成了朋友,还有我们的葡萄牙室友Ana。

That’s how I came to learn about Chinese culture. When Crystal was cooking she would always, always, offer us some of her food. When we ate together, she would put food in our plates, as if we hadn't eaten enough already! At first I thought it was strange. I can’t get more food by myself, I don't need someone to put it in my plate! But I quickly understood that it’s actually pretty normal in China. I started watching Chinese Drama that Crystal had recommended, and we see characters “feeding each other” pretty often!

我就是这样开始了解中国文化的。当Crystal做饭的时候,她总是给我们一些她的食物吃。当我们一起吃饭的时候,她会把食物放进我们的盘子里,好像我们还没吃够似的!一开始我觉得很奇怪。我一个人吃不下这么多的食物,我不需要别人把它放到我的盘子里!但我很快意识到这在中国其实是很正常的。我开始看Crystal推荐的中国戏剧,我们经常看到“互相喂食”的画面!

Another time, I was on a plane. Next to me sat a Chinese lady (I knew she was Chinese because I saw her passport and I heard her speak. I don't speak or understand Chinese myself, but I’ve watched enough Chinese Drama to recognise the language haha). I was just sitting, listening to my music, as she got a bag of crisps out of bag. I quickly looked as I was curious about the noise. She immediately offered me some! I had never seen that woman before, didn’t speak to her except a “hi!” when she sat next to me. And yet, she offered me food! When I declined, she got some sweets and asked if I preferred those. She was so incredibly nice!

还有一次,我在飞机上。我旁边坐着一位中国女士(我知道她是中国人,因为我看到了她的护照,听到了她讲话。我自己不会说也不懂中文,但是我看了很多中国戏剧,所以我知道她是中国人)。我坐在座位上听着音乐,与此同时她从包里拿出一袋薯片。我快速的看了看,因为我好奇噪音是从哪里传出来的。当她看到我后,立刻给了我一些她的薯片!我以前从来没有见过这个女人,除了一声“嗨!”之外,没有和她说过任何话。我友好的拒绝了她给我的食物!当我拒绝的时候,她又拿了一些糖果,问我是否喜欢那些。她真是太好了!
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


It is part of Chinese culture to offer food. Don't be offended by your daughter coming back with groceries, it’s probably just her friend’s family telling you they appreciate you and your daughter! :)

提供食物是中国文化的一部分。不要因为你的女儿带着杂货回来而生气,这可能只是她朋友的家人告诉你他们很感激你和你的女儿!:)

Tim Brown
When I first arrived in China as a foreigner, I went through a little sensitivity training to learn some cultural differences so we would be successful. One of the things they taught us was to bring a gift to parties such as fruit, alcohol, or cigarettes. A while later I was staying in a hostel in Shanghai and I met a really nice girl who lived in the bed next to me for a couple weeks. We became pretty good friends and when she got herself her own apartment nearby, she invited me to her “housewarming,” even though that’s not what she called it. Remembering what I had learned and having remembered seeing her enjoy a dragon fruit in the hostel, I stopped at the supermarket and picked her up one. It probably only cost me ¥2, but she was so thankful for my little gift! I wonder how she’s doing now… (checking wechat…)

当我第一次来到中国的时候,我参加了一些课程,学习一下文化差异,这样我们就会和平相处了。他们教给我们的其中一件事就是参加聚会时带礼物,比如水果、酒或者香烟。过了一会儿,我住进了上海的一家青年旅社,遇到了一个非常不错的女孩,她就住在我旁边的床上,我们一起住了几个星期,然后成了很好的朋友,当她在附近找到自己的公寓时,她邀请我参加她的“乔迁派对”,尽管她并不是这么说的。想到我之前我学到的东西,记得看到她在青年旅社吃过火龙果,于是我去路边超市给她买了一个火龙果,只花了我2美元,但是她非常感谢我的小礼物!我想知道她现在过得怎么样... (检查微信...)

Katarzyna Popiel
Thank you for this comment, your stories offer a very interesting peek into the Chinese culture. Do not get me wrong, I am not offended by the Chinese mum’s behaviour, maybe I was just slightly embarassed at first when I was wondering about her motives. I find this ‘feed one another’ habit very sweet and probably useful in a nation that has been seen a lot of hardship in their history. Seems to me that a Chinese friend is a really good friend to have!

谢谢你的评论,你的故事显示了中国文化非常有趣的一面。不要误会我的意思,我并没有被中国妈妈的行为冒犯,也许我刚开始对她的动机感到有点尴尬。我发现这种“互相喂养”的习惯非常甜蜜,而且可能对一个在历史上经历过许多艰难困苦的国家来说是有必要的。在我看来,一个中国朋友是一个真正的好朋友!

Peggy Hsia
Yes, in Chinese culture, most important business deals are done on dinner tables

是的,在中国文化中,大多数重要的商业交易都是在餐桌上完成的

Yang Zhou

Sharing in China is a friendly behavior and an important part of Chinese culture. I think such culture can be dated back to very acient times, when people are difficult to get enough clothes and food for daily life. There is an ancient poem in China, “岂曰无衣,与子同袍”, which means “why you worry about that you don’t have clothes to wear, I will share mine with you”. So if Chinese people want to share something with you, they are trying to show their kindness and friendship.
在中国,分享是一种友好的行为,也是中国文化的重要组成部分。我认为这种文化可以追溯到非常古老的时代,那时人们很难得到足够的衣服和食物来维持日常生活。中国有一首古诗“ 岂曰无衣,与子同袍”,意思是当你没有衣服穿得时候,我把我自己的衣服分享给你。因此,如果中国人想与你分享什么,他们就是在试图表现他们的善良和友谊。

LN
Yes, It’s interesting to consider the history of cultural customs like this. Famine has been a terrible recurring experience in China, even within living memory.

是的,学习这种文化习俗形成的历史背景是件很有趣的事情。在中国历史上,饥荒出现过多次,甚至一些现在还在世的中国老年人都亲身经历过饥荒。

Colin Wong (MY)

You don’t need a famine to cultivate love and humanity. The word 仁 (ren) is untranslatable into English (dictionaries do their best!) and it shaped the Chinese culture.
你不需要饥荒来培养爱和人性。中文“仁”词不好翻译成英语(字典尽力了!),因为这个字塑造了中国文化。

I grew up that way. Every night, when we sit down for dinner, we are scooping out food and placing it into each other’s plate. It is called “love”. Language of love do have a cultural bias and for Chinese, it is the act of service and gift.

我就是在这种环境下长大的。每天晚上,当我们坐下来吃晚饭的时候,我们都会把食物舀出来,放到对方的盘子里。这叫做“爱”。爱的语言确实有一种文化偏见,对于中国人来说,它是一种服务和馈赠的行为。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Way to go China.. All we need is love.

干得好,中国。我们需要的只是爱。

Anna Cavallaro
I’m not of Chinese origin myself, but I know other cultures do this type of thing. I’m Italian and I love to bring other people goodies and things that are common foods in Italy that I would love if they tried and enjoyed! Food to Italians is a way of showing appreciation and care and a sense of community gathering together. It is seen as a gesture of care and respect in my culture to bring someone something that is useful. It is also seen as a kind of trust-building thing; I will bring food and small treats to someone who I trust and/or who I want to trust me. I always bring treats and goodies to a new friend’s home, or if a boss or co worker invites me to dinner or a party, or if I am dating a new person, for example. My family and friends are always bringing me or sharing simple little things, herbs from their garden or a case of pasta or even some snacks and goodies. And in return of course I share with them!

我自己不是中国血统,但我知道其他文化也会做这种事。我是意大利人,我喜欢给其他人带些普通的且好吃的东西。如果他们尝试过并且喜欢的话,我会很高兴的!对意大利人来说,食物是一种表达感激和关怀的方式,也是一种社区团结的感觉。在我们的文化中,给别人带来一些有用的东西是一种表达关心和尊重的姿态。它也被看作是一种建立信任的事情; 我会给我信任的人和/或我想信任的人带食物和小点心。如新朋友邀请我去家里做客,或者如果老板或同事邀请我去吃饭或参加聚会,或者如果我正在和一个新朋友约会,我总会给他们带点小点心。我的家人和朋友总是给我带来或者分享一些简单的小东西,他们花园里的草药,或者一箱意大利面,甚至一些零食和好吃的东西。作为回报,我当然要和他们分享!

I don’t think the mother of your child’s friend means to come off as offensive, she’s probably just a caring person that wants to share with you. This might just be her way of thanking you in a small way for allowing her daughter to have a great friend! Don’t feel embarrassed. I would personally give her a call and thank her for the food but tell her she doesn’t have to feel obligated to do so and see what she says!

我不认为你孩子朋友的母亲有冒犯的意思,她可能只是一个想和你分享的有爱心的人。这可能只是她小小地感谢你让她女儿有了一个好朋友的方式!不要觉得尴尬。我会亲自给她打电话,感谢她的食物,但告诉她,她没有义务这样做,看看她说什么!

Colin Wong (MY)
Anna, I am ethnic Chinese and many years ago, I was studying in Australia as in international student. I was told by my peers, if you want to marry a Westerner, an Italian girl will come closest to the Chinese way of life. The family will embrace you and life is always around family. Your wife will love you the way a Chinese girl will. She will care for you and look up to you as her husband. The head of the household.

Anna Cavallaro,我是华人,很多年前,我在澳大利亚留学。我的同龄人告诉我,如果你想嫁给一个西方人,意大利女孩是个不错的选择,她们最接近中国人的生活方式。家人会拥抱你,生活总是围绕着家人。你的妻子会像中国女孩一样爱你,照顾你,把你当作一家之主。

I wasn’t sure if it was true. But then reading your sharing, I think I get the idea.

我不确定这是不是真的,但是读了你的分享,我想我明白了。

Rahul Iyer
Teach your daughter to be nice but politely refuse. Same for you. My wife is Vietnamese, and this is slightly similar. My wife and I are “upper middle class" professionals. She is an Accountant, and I am an engineer. We live good, frugal lives. We do not like to spend money frivolously.

教导你的女儿对人友善,但要礼貌地拒绝。你也是。我的妻子是越南人,我们遇到了和你类似的情况。我妻子和我都是“中上阶层”,她是会计,我是工程师。我们过着美好节俭的生活。我们不喜欢乱花钱。

Whenever we go visit her great aunt, and aunts, who live nearby (a whole clan of four families) we often are “given" a bag of soaps, toiletries, etc. They like to live on shopping and “consuming”, and maybe always overbuy. They even did this for clothes…and gave wife sacks of “oversized” unnecessary clothes also.

每当我们去拜访她的姑姥姥和姨妈,她们就住在附近(一个由四个家庭组成的大家族) ,我们经常会“得到”一袋肥皂、化妆品等等。他们喜欢靠购物和“消费”为生,总是过度消费。他们经常买很多的衣服... 并把不必要的衣服送给我的妻子。

When they give this, often at the end of our visit, my wife politely declined. My wife also “conveniently” forgets to take the bag home. She deals with the fallout some 45 to 60 minutes later when they call her, but no one is driving 45 minutes away just to retrieve the package.

他们通常在我们准备离开的时候送我们大包衣服,我的妻子一般都会礼貌地拒绝。我的妻子有时也“顺便”忘记把包带回家。大约45到60分钟后,他们会打电话给她让她回去取衣服,但是没有人会开车45分钟去取一个没用的东西。

They did this a few times, but eventually got the clue that it is not needed.

他们这样做了好几次,但每次我们都没要,他们最终反应过来,这些东西对我们没用。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


They do not understand how Americans or Westerners live today…at least the older generation.

他们不理解今天的美国人或西方人是如何生活的... ... 至少是老一代。

My advice would be to do what my wife does, and teach your children that. They need to learn to do it in a way where they do not cause the host to “lose face".

我的建议是做我妻子做的事,并且教你的孩子们这些。我们需要学会以一种不会让主人“丢面子”的方式来做这件事。

June Williams
I am 100% Chinese. Please don’t be embarrassed; Chinese people offer food because it’s polite in our culture. Yes, we greet visitors by asking ”have you eaten yet?” and then we offer them food no matter how they answer. It’s a ritual - you can refuse twice and still be polite, but the third answer is your “real” answer. Even if they have nothing except a can of Spam, they will offer it to you.So if you notice that they do offer food, you should try to do the same when they come to your house, and when you come next to their house BRING SOMETHING like a few pieces of fruit (preferably yellow or orange, i.e. “gold-colored” - or red for good luck) or a small box of cookies or chocolate; otherwise, to come empty-handed to their house makes you look like a beggar. (That’s traditional Chinese thinking.)

我是100% 的中国人。请不要感到尴尬,中国人提供食物是因为在我们的文化中这是礼貌的行为。我们会问客人“你吃过了吗?”然后我们给他们准备食物,不管他们怎么回答。这是一种仪式——你可以拒绝两次,但仍然保持礼貌,但第三次回答必须是你的真心话。即使他们只有一罐午餐肉,他们会拿出来和你分享的。如果你注意到他们为你提供了食物,你应该在他们来你家时也这样做。到他们家之前,去附近买一些水果(最好是黄色或橙色的,即“金色”或红色代表好运)或一小盒饼干或巧克力之类的东西。否则,空手去别人家会让你看起来像个乞丐。(这是中国人的传统思维。)

Americans may not offer food but they often offer a drink - water, coffee, tea, etc.

美国人可能不准备食物,但他们经常提供饮料-水,咖啡,茶等。

Shawn Xuande
When you are asking if it’s normal courtesy for the Chinese, I would think at least a fourth of the Chinese would do so. But, I don’t believe it’s the case. You may try to let you daughter to visit another Chinese family, the chance is it’s unlikely to happen.

当你问中国人这是否是正常的礼节时,我认为至少有四分之一的中国人也会这么做的。但是,我不认为这是普遍的事情,你可以试着让你的女儿去拜访另一个中国家庭,带回来一包礼物的可能性不大。

But, I won’t suggest something wrong with the friend’s mother. She may like to have such things for her kids and also like to give it as a treat to your daughter because her daughter loves it, for example. —- Just pure speculating.

但是,我不认为你女儿同学的母亲有什么问题。例如,她可能喜欢为孩子们准备这些东西,也可能喜欢把它当作一种款待送给你的女儿,因为她的女儿很喜欢。这只是纯粹的推测。

The Chinese used to treat food very special because food had been so often in shortage. But in that time people didn’t give others groceries as a treat to bring home.

中国人过去对食物非常看重,因为食物经常短缺。但是在那个时候,人们不会把食品杂货当作待客之道送给别人带回家。

People are different individuals, and they do things differently. I don’t think there is anything wrong if your daughter asks her friend why her mom does it. I don’t think it’s going to offend anyone. It’s an easy way to solve your puzzle, I believe.

人们是不同的个体,他们做事情的方式也不同。如果你的女儿问她的朋友她妈妈为什么这么做,我不认为有什么不对。我不认为这会冒犯任何人。我相信这是解决你的难题的简单方法。

Colin Wong (MY)
I am not sure which part of the world you are from. Admittedly, the statistics vary from location to location. Where we are, in Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand and Indonesia, this kind of courtesy is very very much alive.

我不确定你来自世界的哪个地方。不可否认,不同地区的统计数据各不相同。在马来西亚、新加坡、泰国和印度尼西亚,这种礼节非常常见。

Janis Chan
All are great answers. I would attempt to explain the part about “basic groceries”. We all give gifts that we ourselves like, and the giver could well be liking certain types of noodles or a particular brand of chilli sauce, and want you to try them. Gifting food is very normal / common amongst Chinese people and within Chinese families. Food is the vocabulary through which Chinese people express love. For them, they share their “comfort food” when they treat you as family. A close school friend of their son or daughter is like a niece or nephew. The giver is extending to your daughter the love they have for their own child.

所有的答案都是伟大的。我来解释“基本食品”这一部分。我们都会送我们自己喜欢的礼物,送礼物的人很可能喜欢某种类型的面条或某种特定品牌的辣椒酱,并希望你尝一尝。赠送食物在中国人和中国家庭中是非常普遍的。食物是中国人表达爱意的东西。对他们来说,当他们把你当作家人时,他们会分享他们的“慰藉食物”。他们儿子或女儿的密友就像侄女或侄子一样。送礼物的人把他们对自己孩子的爱送给你的女儿。

Dave Mac
My wife is Chinese. When we were in China I noticed that whenever we visited anyone they would offer us food and since they all seemed to have large circular tables it was easy to add another seat or two. when we visit friends in the UK we always take food to give to our host - usually a yellow honeydew melon. I think the colour is significant. our Chinese hosts are always surprised and delighted that I want to use a bowl and eat Chinese style food because often they have to make a Western-style meal for their husbands. once we were invited to visit my British niece at Christmas and told to arrive at 2pm. When we arrived they were just finishing their Christmas dinner and didn’t offer anything except a cup of tea. My wife didn’t say anything at the time but when we got home it was obvious that she was furious. She even suggested inviting my niece and her family for lunch and giving them soup and chopsticks. It is almost a mortal sin not to offer a meal to visitors in most parts of China. There may be a connection to the famines in the early 21st century 1928–30, 1948–49 and 1958 but I think the tradition goes back much further than that.

我妻子是中国人。当我们在中国的时候,我注意到每当我们拜访任何人的时候,他们都会给我们提供食物,他们似乎都有大的圆形桌子,所以很容易增加一个或两个座位。当我们拜访英国的朋友时,我们总是带食物给我们朋友,通常是一个黄色的蜜瓜。我认为礼物的颜色很重要。我们的中国朋友总是对我想用碗吃中国菜感到惊喜,因为她们经常要为她们的丈夫做一顿西餐(盘子)。有一次,我们被邀请在圣诞节去看望我的英国侄女,并被告知下午两点到达。当我们到达时,他们刚刚吃完圣诞晚餐,除了一杯茶,什么也没有提供。我妻子当时什么也没说,但当我们回到家时,很明显她很生气。她甚至建议邀请我的侄女和她的家人一起共进午餐,但只提供他们汤和筷子。在中国大部分地区,不给客人提供食物几乎是一种不可饶恕的罪过。这可能与21世纪早期1928-30年、1948-49年和1958年的饥荒有关,但我认为这一传统可以追溯到更久远的时代。

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