你是什么时候知道你们的关系结束了？
正文翻译
你是什么时候知道你们的关系结束了？
你是什么时候知道你们的关系结束了？
评论翻译
migzors
Whenever you cooked dinner, did the laundry, cleaned the place, made sure she had what she needed at the end of the night after a long day at work.
Then, the things you did out of the kindness of your heart became less fulfilling and more like a chore and you were more anxious about them coming home, rather than being excited.
This was a previous relationship. My wife now is a dream, where before the other was a waking nightmare.
无论什么时候，你做晚饭，洗衣服，打扫房间，确保她在工作了一天之后有她需要的东西。
然后，你出于内心的善意所做的事情变得不那么令人满足，更像是一件苦差事，你更担心他们有没有回家，而不会感到兴奋。
这是以前的关系。我的妻子现在是一个梦，而之前的她只是一个醒着的噩梦。
Whenever you cooked dinner, did the laundry, cleaned the place, made sure she had what she needed at the end of the night after a long day at work.
Then, the things you did out of the kindness of your heart became less fulfilling and more like a chore and you were more anxious about them coming home, rather than being excited.
This was a previous relationship. My wife now is a dream, where before the other was a waking nightmare.
无论什么时候，你做晚饭，洗衣服，打扫房间，确保她在工作了一天之后有她需要的东西。
然后，你出于内心的善意所做的事情变得不那么令人满足，更像是一件苦差事，你更担心他们有没有回家，而不会感到兴奋。
这是以前的关系。我的妻子现在是一个梦，而之前的她只是一个醒着的噩梦。
Caladan109
Sorry to hear you had the same hard times.
How are you now?
很遗憾你也经历了同样的艰难日子。
你现在怎么样啊
Sorry to hear you had the same hard times.
How are you now?
很遗憾你也经历了同样的艰难日子。
你现在怎么样啊
migzors
So good man. I couldn't ask for a better relationship than I have with my wife now. I just needed to wake up before and realize I was in a bad relationship.
Thanks for asking, I hope you're doing well!
所以好男人。我觉得现在我和我妻子的关系是最好的了，我只是想早点醒来意识到我的感情很糟糕。
谢谢关心，希望你一切都好！
So good man. I couldn't ask for a better relationship than I have with my wife now. I just needed to wake up before and realize I was in a bad relationship.
Thanks for asking, I hope you're doing well!
所以好男人。我觉得现在我和我妻子的关系是最好的了，我只是想早点醒来意识到我的感情很糟糕。
谢谢关心，希望你一切都好！
ChowThyme
There were a couple of dates where she just didn’t show interest in anything that was happening. One was supposed to be a cooking date at my place. She spent most of the evening on her phone in another room, and never helped with any of the cooking. The other was a basketball game we went to. Once again she paid zero attention to the game and glued her face to her phone.
She also hid her emotional struggles from me rather than opening up to me about them.
有几次约会她对发生的任何事都不感兴趣。一个是在我家的烹饪约会。她整个晚上都在另一个房间玩手机，从不帮忙做饭。另一个是我们去看的篮球赛。她又一次没有关注比赛，而是把脸贴在手机上。
她还对我隐瞒了自己的情感，而不是向我敞开心扉。
There were a couple of dates where she just didn’t show interest in anything that was happening. One was supposed to be a cooking date at my place. She spent most of the evening on her phone in another room, and never helped with any of the cooking. The other was a basketball game we went to. Once again she paid zero attention to the game and glued her face to her phone.
She also hid her emotional struggles from me rather than opening up to me about them.
有几次约会她对发生的任何事都不感兴趣。一个是在我家的烹饪约会。她整个晚上都在另一个房间玩手机，从不帮忙做饭。另一个是我们去看的篮球赛。她又一次没有关注比赛，而是把脸贴在手机上。
她还对我隐瞒了自己的情感，而不是向我敞开心扉。
JerryTheGiraffe820
The emotional struggle part is huge. I was open with my ex but she just kept it all inside. Eventually she told me that I apparently said something dismissive once and she didn't feel safe sharing. IOW I was the problem for not intuitively knowing what she needed to hear in the moment.
情感上的挣扎是巨大的。我对我的前任敞开心扉，但她却把一切都藏在心里。最后她告诉我，我说过一些轻蔑的话，她觉得不安全就没有和我分享她的情感。我知道问题出在我身上，不知道她当时需要听到什么。
The emotional struggle part is huge. I was open with my ex but she just kept it all inside. Eventually she told me that I apparently said something dismissive once and she didn't feel safe sharing. IOW I was the problem for not intuitively knowing what she needed to hear in the moment.
情感上的挣扎是巨大的。我对我的前任敞开心扉，但她却把一切都藏在心里。最后她告诉我，我说过一些轻蔑的话，她觉得不安全就没有和我分享她的情感。我知道问题出在我身上，不知道她当时需要听到什么。
MachuPichu10
Any ideas how I can be more open with people.I like keeping my private thoughts private but sometimes that's not good
有什么好主意能让我对人更坦诚吗。我喜欢隐藏我个人的想法，但有时这样不好
Any ideas how I can be more open with people.I like keeping my private thoughts private but sometimes that's not good
有什么好主意能让我对人更坦诚吗。我喜欢隐藏我个人的想法，但有时这样不好
Lego_Kode
A great way is a therapist or counselor, especially if you aren't comfortable sharing feelings with someone real close to you.
But another way is just find that one person and you set the 'rules' of the talk. Whether it's just that you don't want them to give advice and to just listen or something else.
一个很好的方法是找治疗师或咨询师，尤其是当你不愿意和亲近的人分享情感的时候。
但另一种方法是找到一个人，然后你设定谈话的“规则”。也许你只是不想让他们给你提建议，或者只是为了让他们倾听你的分享
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
A great way is a therapist or counselor, especially if you aren't comfortable sharing feelings with someone real close to you.
But another way is just find that one person and you set the 'rules' of the talk. Whether it's just that you don't want them to give advice and to just listen or something else.
一个很好的方法是找治疗师或咨询师，尤其是当你不愿意和亲近的人分享情感的时候。
但另一种方法是找到一个人，然后你设定谈话的“规则”。也许你只是不想让他们给你提建议，或者只是为了让他们倾听你的分享
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
OffusMax
After she got black out drunk for the umpteenth time and I realized I couldn’t handle it anymore. I packed a bag with my clothes, told her I was leaving and she crawled under her desk and wouldn’t come out.
A few months or a year later we were talking and she told me “why” she asked me to leave. I corrected her and told her I left on my own.
Her response? “Oh”
ETA I did go back a few days after that night to get the rest of my stuff. She knew I was out but apparently she had no recollection of my telling her I couldn’t handle her drunkenness any longer and I was leaving.
在她第无数次醉得不省人事之后我意识到我再也受不了她了。我把衣服装进袋子，告诉她我要走了，她爬到桌子底下不肯出来。几个月或一年后，我们聊天时，她告诉我“为什么”让我离开。我纠正了她，告诉她我是自己走的。
她的反应？“哦”
几天后，我确实回去拿我剩下的东西了。她知道我离开了，但显然她不记得我告诉过她，因为我受不了她的醉态，所以我要离开。
After she got black out drunk for the umpteenth time and I realized I couldn’t handle it anymore. I packed a bag with my clothes, told her I was leaving and she crawled under her desk and wouldn’t come out.
A few months or a year later we were talking and she told me “why” she asked me to leave. I corrected her and told her I left on my own.
Her response? “Oh”
ETA I did go back a few days after that night to get the rest of my stuff. She knew I was out but apparently she had no recollection of my telling her I couldn’t handle her drunkenness any longer and I was leaving.
在她第无数次醉得不省人事之后我意识到我再也受不了她了。我把衣服装进袋子，告诉她我要走了，她爬到桌子底下不肯出来。几个月或一年后，我们聊天时，她告诉我“为什么”让我离开。我纠正了她，告诉她我是自己走的。
她的反应？“哦”
几天后，我确实回去拿我剩下的东西了。她知道我离开了，但显然她不记得我告诉过她，因为我受不了她的醉态，所以我要离开。
BigDickHobbit
I left my alcoholic partner about a month ago. She still tells me she doesn’t understand how I could have left her after ‘what we had’ It honestly breaks my heart because I know she was in such a bad place, and I know how much it hurt her when I left. But I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was becoming a shell of who I was, and constant stress and anger and sadness was too much to handle. I still have so many moments where I feel so guilty about leaving though.
我一个月前离开了我的酗酒伴侣。她仍然告诉我，她不理解在经历了“我们之间的一切”之后，我为什么离开了她。这真的伤透了我的心，因为我知道她当时处境很糟糕，我知道我离开时她受到了多大的伤害。但我不能再继续下去了。我渐渐变成了一个躯壳，持续的压力、愤怒和悲伤让我无法承受。有时候，我仍然对离开她感到内疚。
I left my alcoholic partner about a month ago. She still tells me she doesn’t understand how I could have left her after ‘what we had’ It honestly breaks my heart because I know she was in such a bad place, and I know how much it hurt her when I left. But I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was becoming a shell of who I was, and constant stress and anger and sadness was too much to handle. I still have so many moments where I feel so guilty about leaving though.
我一个月前离开了我的酗酒伴侣。她仍然告诉我，她不理解在经历了“我们之间的一切”之后，我为什么离开了她。这真的伤透了我的心，因为我知道她当时处境很糟糕，我知道我离开时她受到了多大的伤害。但我不能再继续下去了。我渐渐变成了一个躯壳，持续的压力、愤怒和悲伤让我无法承受。有时候，我仍然对离开她感到内疚。
hochoa94
I’m currently in this situation. I feel terrible because if i leave there’s the “what if she hurts herself” and i dont know if i can live with that. I’m unhappy because all we do is fight and are constantly passive aggressive with each other
我现在的处境就是这样。我感觉很糟糕，因为如果我离开了， “如果她伤害了自己怎么办”，我也不知道我是否能继续忍受。我很不开心，因为我们所做的就是吵架，不断消极地攻击对方
I’m currently in this situation. I feel terrible because if i leave there’s the “what if she hurts herself” and i dont know if i can live with that. I’m unhappy because all we do is fight and are constantly passive aggressive with each other
我现在的处境就是这样。我感觉很糟糕，因为如果我离开了， “如果她伤害了自己怎么办”，我也不知道我是否能继续忍受。我很不开心，因为我们所做的就是吵架，不断消极地攻击对方
DryEraseBrain
I recently broke up with a girl who has mental health issues, and put off breaking up with her because I was scared of exacerbating things or being responsible if she hurt herself. I know 100% how you feel right now. It gets easier mate. Her reaction is not your responsibility. don't be cruel or unkind but be firm if you leave. Let someone who is close to her know your concerns and get out. Once again her reaction is not your responsibility. Don't make yourself suffer in a relationship you are not happy with out of fear for how they may react. If she is the type of person who may attempt to manipulate you, make your decision and then do not give her the opportunity to contact you with threats. That is a form of abuse.
I hope you find happiness and peace.
我最近和一个有心理健康问题的女孩分手了，我推迟了和她分手的时间，因为我害怕事情会恶化，或者如果她伤害了自己，我要承担责任。我完全理解你现在的感受。其实很简单，她的反应与你无关。不要太残忍或不友好，但离开时要坚定。让她亲近的人知道你的担忧，然后离开。她的反应又不是你的责任。不要因为担心对方的反应而让自己在一段你不开心的关系中受苦。如果她是那种企图操纵你的人，那就做出你的决定，然后不要给她用威胁联系你的机会。这是一种虐待。
我希望你能找到幸福和安宁。
I recently broke up with a girl who has mental health issues, and put off breaking up with her because I was scared of exacerbating things or being responsible if she hurt herself. I know 100% how you feel right now. It gets easier mate. Her reaction is not your responsibility. don't be cruel or unkind but be firm if you leave. Let someone who is close to her know your concerns and get out. Once again her reaction is not your responsibility. Don't make yourself suffer in a relationship you are not happy with out of fear for how they may react. If she is the type of person who may attempt to manipulate you, make your decision and then do not give her the opportunity to contact you with threats. That is a form of abuse.
I hope you find happiness and peace.
我最近和一个有心理健康问题的女孩分手了，我推迟了和她分手的时间，因为我害怕事情会恶化，或者如果她伤害了自己，我要承担责任。我完全理解你现在的感受。其实很简单，她的反应与你无关。不要太残忍或不友好，但离开时要坚定。让她亲近的人知道你的担忧，然后离开。她的反应又不是你的责任。不要因为担心对方的反应而让自己在一段你不开心的关系中受苦。如果她是那种企图操纵你的人，那就做出你的决定，然后不要给她用威胁联系你的机会。这是一种虐待。
我希望你能找到幸福和安宁。
flowless94
This is geat advice! Literally what a professional therapist told me once
这是很好的建议！有个专业治疗师跟我说过
This is geat advice! Literally what a professional therapist told me once
这是很好的建议！有个专业治疗师跟我说过
HanzoHattoti
Tell her the truth, “That you put your love for booze above what we had.”
告诉她真相，“你把你对酒的爱看得比我们的感情更重要。”
Tell her the truth, “That you put your love for booze above what we had.”
告诉她真相，“你把你对酒的爱看得比我们的感情更重要。”
Sumpm
When she texted me at work and said she'd wanted to leave a year before
她在上班的时候给我发短信说她一年前就想离开我了
When she texted me at work and said she'd wanted to leave a year before
她在上班的时候给我发短信说她一年前就想离开我了
jfdhcvfsgafds
damn, i'll never understand the thought process of sending someone a message like that. if you want to leave then leave but why choose to go out of your way to say such hurtful shit? i'm very sorry you had to experience that. best wishes.
该死，我永远也搞不懂给别人发这样的信息是怎么想的。如果你想离开，那就离开，但为什么非要说出这些伤人的话呢？我很抱歉你经历了这些，祝福你。
damn, i'll never understand the thought process of sending someone a message like that. if you want to leave then leave but why choose to go out of your way to say such hurtful shit? i'm very sorry you had to experience that. best wishes.
该死，我永远也搞不懂给别人发这样的信息是怎么想的。如果你想离开，那就离开，但为什么非要说出这些伤人的话呢？我很抱歉你经历了这些，祝福你。
super-ro
We had an argument and he blocked me on all social media, phone, sms and email for a week. I had no way of reaching him, and my understanding was that he had broken up with me without letting me know.
A week later he called me and asked if I learned my lesson. I did - byeeee.
我们吵了一架，他把我的所有社交媒体、电话、短信和电子邮件都屏蔽了一个星期。我没有办法联系到他，我的理解是他没有告诉我就和我分手了。一周后他打电话给我，问我是否吸取了教训。是的，拜拜。
We had an argument and he blocked me on all social media, phone, sms and email for a week. I had no way of reaching him, and my understanding was that he had broken up with me without letting me know.
A week later he called me and asked if I learned my lesson. I did - byeeee.
我们吵了一架，他把我的所有社交媒体、电话、短信和电子邮件都屏蔽了一个星期。我没有办法联系到他，我的理解是他没有告诉我就和我分手了。一周后他打电话给我，问我是否吸取了教训。是的，拜拜。
Justadnd_Bard
When her family and friends started to look awkward around me, it was almost as if they knew something but didn't want to tell me. The only person brave enough to tell me the truth was her sister, my gf was actually not interested in boys and "trying" to not be gay.
(I'm actually alright, we're still friends after breaking up. Ended up dating her sister, after she asked me out.)
当她的家人和朋友开始在我周围尴尬地看着我时，就好像他们知道什么但不想告诉我一样。唯一有勇气告诉我真相的人是她的妹妹，我的女朋友其实对男孩不感兴趣，并“努力”不想成为同性恋。
(其实我还好，分手后我们还是朋友。在我和她分开之后，她和她姐姐约会了。)
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
When her family and friends started to look awkward around me, it was almost as if they knew something but didn't want to tell me. The only person brave enough to tell me the truth was her sister, my gf was actually not interested in boys and "trying" to not be gay.
(I'm actually alright, we're still friends after breaking up. Ended up dating her sister, after she asked me out.)
当她的家人和朋友开始在我周围尴尬地看着我时，就好像他们知道什么但不想告诉我一样。唯一有勇气告诉我真相的人是她的妹妹，我的女朋友其实对男孩不感兴趣，并“努力”不想成为同性恋。
(其实我还好，分手后我们还是朋友。在我和她分开之后，她和她姐姐约会了。)
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
real_jonno
When I got home from work, and I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to her. No words would come out. And I wasn’t interested in a single thing she had to say either. Sad times..a long time ago.
当我下班回家时，我不知道该对她说什么。没有什么可说的，我对她说的任何话都不感兴趣。这是我很久以前的悲伤时光。
When I got home from work, and I couldn’t think of a single thing to say to her. No words would come out. And I wasn’t interested in a single thing she had to say either. Sad times..a long time ago.
当我下班回家时，我不知道该对她说什么。没有什么可说的，我对她说的任何话都不感兴趣。这是我很久以前的悲伤时光。
girlfriend-haver
When I realized she didn’t associate happy things with me anymore. She stopped joking, playing, laughing, and it began to feel like the relationship was already over.
当我意识到她不再把快乐的事情和我联系在一起。她不再开玩笑、玩耍、大笑，我就开始觉得这段关系已经结束了。
When I realized she didn’t associate happy things with me anymore. She stopped joking, playing, laughing, and it began to feel like the relationship was already over.
当我意识到她不再把快乐的事情和我联系在一起。她不再开玩笑、玩耍、大笑，我就开始觉得这段关系已经结束了。
DogDrools
When I found a sperm filled condom floating in the toilet when I got home from being away for a few days.
当我离开了几天回到家，发现一个充满….的避孕套漂浮在马桶里。
When I found a sperm filled condom floating in the toilet when I got home from being away for a few days.
当我离开了几天回到家，发现一个充满….的避孕套漂浮在马桶里。
LifeNet5196
I have a question; you don't have to answer. I sometimes wonder if when people cheat their partner knew it was likely or possible. Did you think that would/could happen or might happen? Also what did you do after that?
我有一个问题，你可以不回答。我有时会想，当人们出轨时，他们的伴侣是否知道这是可能发生的。你认为那会发生吗？那之后你做了什么？
I have a question; you don't have to answer. I sometimes wonder if when people cheat their partner knew it was likely or possible. Did you think that would/could happen or might happen? Also what did you do after that?
我有一个问题，你可以不回答。我有时会想，当人们出轨时，他们的伴侣是否知道这是可能发生的。你认为那会发生吗？那之后你做了什么？
imnothereurnotthere
Depending on your intuition and recognition, and prior trauma you notice the red flags while they're happening. It's obvious to anyone looking in but you still trust this person so you typically work hard to rationalize it but its there. Oh they're just stressed or have stuff going on or are busy or their work schedule changed. But they stopped bringing their toothbrush, don't say good morning, stopped being affectionate, aren't texting you much but they're clearly occupied texting someone else, etc.
Eventually when you find out, whether they disappear in shame or admit it out of guilt or whatever you hate them but you also hate yourself for not trusting your gut again. It shatters your view of them, worse it shatters yourself. You still trusted them until you didn't. My ex disgusts the fuck out of me but I never in a million years thought she'd do it until the last few months where she got shady af. I still can't believe it but it's nothing I have control of.
根据你的直觉和识别，以及之前的创伤你会注意到这些危险信号。这对任何人来说都是很明显的，但你仍然信任这个人，所以你通常会努力将其合理化，但它确实存在。你会认为，哦，他们只是有压力，有事情要做，很忙，或者他们的工作日程改变了。但是他们不再带牙刷，不说早上好，不再有感情，不再经常给你发短信，但他们显然在忙着给别人发短信，等等。
最终当你发现，不管他们是在羞愧中消失还是因为内疚或其他什么，你恨他们但同时你也恨自己没有再次相信自己的直觉。这会动摇你对他们的看法，更糟的是会动摇你自己。我的前任让我恶心死了，但我从没想过她会这么做，直到最后几个月她变得有些可疑。我还是不敢相信，但这不是我能控制的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Depending on your intuition and recognition, and prior trauma you notice the red flags while they're happening. It's obvious to anyone looking in but you still trust this person so you typically work hard to rationalize it but its there. Oh they're just stressed or have stuff going on or are busy or their work schedule changed. But they stopped bringing their toothbrush, don't say good morning, stopped being affectionate, aren't texting you much but they're clearly occupied texting someone else, etc.
Eventually when you find out, whether they disappear in shame or admit it out of guilt or whatever you hate them but you also hate yourself for not trusting your gut again. It shatters your view of them, worse it shatters yourself. You still trusted them until you didn't. My ex disgusts the fuck out of me but I never in a million years thought she'd do it until the last few months where she got shady af. I still can't believe it but it's nothing I have control of.
根据你的直觉和识别，以及之前的创伤你会注意到这些危险信号。这对任何人来说都是很明显的，但你仍然信任这个人，所以你通常会努力将其合理化，但它确实存在。你会认为，哦，他们只是有压力，有事情要做，很忙，或者他们的工作日程改变了。但是他们不再带牙刷，不说早上好，不再有感情，不再经常给你发短信，但他们显然在忙着给别人发短信，等等。
最终当你发现，不管他们是在羞愧中消失还是因为内疚或其他什么，你恨他们但同时你也恨自己没有再次相信自己的直觉。这会动摇你对他们的看法，更糟的是会动摇你自己。我的前任让我恶心死了，但我从没想过她会这么做，直到最后几个月她变得有些可疑。我还是不敢相信，但这不是我能控制的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
urine-monkey
When we'd been together for 3 1/2 years and engaged, yet she still refused to get serious about moving out of her mom's apartment.
In hindsight, her mom raised her to be co-dependent. Her dad abandoned and denied her as a baby, and this was her mom's way of compensating. I was her first serious relationship and her mom did whatever she could to come between us, even going so far as to invite her dad to our engagement party behind our back; which ruined the evening. The only excuse her mom had was "I didn't think he'd actually show up."
My ex is now approaching her mid-30s and still hasn't lived anywhere but her mom's apartment.
当我们在一起3年半并订婚时，她仍然拒绝认真考虑搬出她妈妈的公寓。
事后看来，她的母亲把她培养成一个相互依赖的人。当她还是个婴儿的时候，她的父亲抛弃了她，并否认了她的存在，这是她母亲的补偿方式。我是她第一段认真的恋情，她妈妈尽其所能来搅和我们，甚至还背着我们邀请她爸爸参加我们的订婚派对；这把整个晚会都毁了。她妈妈唯一的借口就是"我没想到他真的会出现"
我的前任现在已经快35岁了，除了她妈妈的公寓，她还没住过别的地方。
When we'd been together for 3 1/2 years and engaged, yet she still refused to get serious about moving out of her mom's apartment.
In hindsight, her mom raised her to be co-dependent. Her dad abandoned and denied her as a baby, and this was her mom's way of compensating. I was her first serious relationship and her mom did whatever she could to come between us, even going so far as to invite her dad to our engagement party behind our back; which ruined the evening. The only excuse her mom had was "I didn't think he'd actually show up."
My ex is now approaching her mid-30s and still hasn't lived anywhere but her mom's apartment.
当我们在一起3年半并订婚时，她仍然拒绝认真考虑搬出她妈妈的公寓。
事后看来，她的母亲把她培养成一个相互依赖的人。当她还是个婴儿的时候，她的父亲抛弃了她，并否认了她的存在，这是她母亲的补偿方式。我是她第一段认真的恋情，她妈妈尽其所能来搅和我们，甚至还背着我们邀请她爸爸参加我们的订婚派对；这把整个晚会都毁了。她妈妈唯一的借口就是"我没想到他真的会出现"
我的前任现在已经快35岁了，除了她妈妈的公寓，她还没住过别的地方。
Rocky2416
She started acting really distant and cold. Kept saying work had her all stressed out. Then I found out she was hanging out with her ex. Moved all my shit out the next day. She tried guilt tripping me saying I don't trust her and all that while she was still hanging out with her ex. Then lied to me about being pregnant to guilt me even further. Blocked her on everything after that.
她开始变得越来越冷漠。一直说工作让她压力很大。然后我发现她和她前任在一起。第二天就把我的东西都搬走了。她试着让我内疚说我不信任她，与此同时她确还在和她前男友鬼混。然后又骗我说自己怀孕了，让我更加内疚。在那之后我屏蔽了她的所有信息。
She started acting really distant and cold. Kept saying work had her all stressed out. Then I found out she was hanging out with her ex. Moved all my shit out the next day. She tried guilt tripping me saying I don't trust her and all that while she was still hanging out with her ex. Then lied to me about being pregnant to guilt me even further. Blocked her on everything after that.
她开始变得越来越冷漠。一直说工作让她压力很大。然后我发现她和她前任在一起。第二天就把我的东西都搬走了。她试着让我内疚说我不信任她，与此同时她确还在和她前男友鬼混。然后又骗我说自己怀孕了，让我更加内疚。在那之后我屏蔽了她的所有信息。
minimalsnoo
When she was so absent from our relationship that she didn’t know I’d been struggling with an eating disorder and depression for months.
当她离开，结束了我们之间的关系时，她不知道我几个月来一直在与饮食失调和抑郁症作斗争。
When she was so absent from our relationship that she didn’t know I’d been struggling with an eating disorder and depression for months.
当她离开，结束了我们之间的关系时，她不知道我几个月来一直在与饮食失调和抑郁症作斗争。
Sky_Penguin
She had to quarantine for two weeks after a summer where we couldn’t do the things we normally enjoyed and when she came back there was no effort to reconnect. It felt like the motivation on her side was just gone and she didn’t want to continue anymore after 4 years together. It sucked, but I’ve definitely grown from the experience and have a new level of self respect for myself. At no point should you have to ask someone for their love and affection, and once you realize that it’ll help your self-esteem tremendously. I know my own self worth and It’s degrading/unattractive to you, and your ex, to continue a friendship with them when you want more.
一个夏天过去了，她不得不被隔离两周，在那里我们不能做我们通常喜欢的事情，当她回来的时候，也没有任何重新建立联系的努力。感觉她的动力已经消失了，在一起4年之后她不想再继续下去了。这很糟糕，但我确实从这段经历中成长起来，有了更高的自尊心。在任何情况下，你都不应该向某人寻求他们的爱和感情，一旦你意识到这一点，它将极大地帮助你的自尊心。我知道我自己的价值，当你想继续和他们做朋友的时候，对你和你的前任来说，这是在贬低自己或者使自己变得没有吸引力。
She had to quarantine for two weeks after a summer where we couldn’t do the things we normally enjoyed and when she came back there was no effort to reconnect. It felt like the motivation on her side was just gone and she didn’t want to continue anymore after 4 years together. It sucked, but I’ve definitely grown from the experience and have a new level of self respect for myself. At no point should you have to ask someone for their love and affection, and once you realize that it’ll help your self-esteem tremendously. I know my own self worth and It’s degrading/unattractive to you, and your ex, to continue a friendship with them when you want more.
一个夏天过去了，她不得不被隔离两周，在那里我们不能做我们通常喜欢的事情，当她回来的时候，也没有任何重新建立联系的努力。感觉她的动力已经消失了，在一起4年之后她不想再继续下去了。这很糟糕，但我确实从这段经历中成长起来，有了更高的自尊心。在任何情况下，你都不应该向某人寻求他们的爱和感情，一旦你意识到这一点，它将极大地帮助你的自尊心。我知道我自己的价值，当你想继续和他们做朋友的时候，对你和你的前任来说，这是在贬低自己或者使自己变得没有吸引力。
RSNKailash
We started fighting about pointless little shit. I brushed it off and tried to be more understanding, as best I could. She started being more distant, so I thought she needed space and gave her plenty.
Eventually she took me aside and said she wanted to break up because she felt we were codependent on eachother and a bunch of other nonsense. Tbh, I never felt codependent but I think she felt that way And by me giving her space it just made her feel worse and more distant. I wanted so badly to be her rock, but I couldn't force her to be open about her emotions with me. I guess she just didnt feel comfortable opening up to me, perhaps it was my fault after all.. I still have a lot to learn in relationships
我们开始为一些毫无意义的小事情争吵。我没有理会它，尽我所能去理解它。她开始变得越来越疏远，所以我觉得她需要空间，我就给了她足够的空间。
最后她把我拉到一边，说她想分手，因为她觉得我们彼此过于互相依赖，还说了一堆废话。说实话，我从来没有过相互依赖的感觉，但我认为她也是这样想的，我给她空间只会让她感觉更糟，更疏远。我非常想成为她的依靠，但我不能强迫她向我敞开她的情感。我猜她只是不愿意向我坦白，也许这是我的错。在感情方面我还有很多要学的
We started fighting about pointless little shit. I brushed it off and tried to be more understanding, as best I could. She started being more distant, so I thought she needed space and gave her plenty.
Eventually she took me aside and said she wanted to break up because she felt we were codependent on eachother and a bunch of other nonsense. Tbh, I never felt codependent but I think she felt that way And by me giving her space it just made her feel worse and more distant. I wanted so badly to be her rock, but I couldn't force her to be open about her emotions with me. I guess she just didnt feel comfortable opening up to me, perhaps it was my fault after all.. I still have a lot to learn in relationships
我们开始为一些毫无意义的小事情争吵。我没有理会它，尽我所能去理解它。她开始变得越来越疏远，所以我觉得她需要空间，我就给了她足够的空间。
最后她把我拉到一边，说她想分手，因为她觉得我们彼此过于互相依赖，还说了一堆废话。说实话，我从来没有过相互依赖的感觉，但我认为她也是这样想的，我给她空间只会让她感觉更糟，更疏远。我非常想成为她的依靠，但我不能强迫她向我敞开她的情感。我猜她只是不愿意向我坦白，也许这是我的错。在感情方面我还有很多要学的
chaotic_psychotic
Ex and I got into an argument on a Friday. Wanted to surprise her and apologize to her on Saturday morning. Snuck into her house around 7am and saw another dude laying next to her. When I confronted her she put her head under her pillow and refused to talk to me for like 5 mins.
I'll never forget her response to me asking "why?"
She said "I didn't cheat on you. I was just cold"
Apparently it wasn't the first time he was 'keeping her warm'.
4 years later and I'm in the best relationship of my life.
We've watched eachother grow and complete independent goals and we are slowly
planning lots of stuff out for the future. She's a wonderful woman and everyday I am blessed.
I know how rough it can be. Sometimes feeling pain is better than feeling nothing at all.
我和前任在周五吵了一架，在周六早上，我想给她个惊喜，向她道歉，早上7点溜进她家看到旁边躺着一个男人。当我质问她的时候，她把头埋在枕头下，持续5分钟都不跟我说话。
我永远不会忘记当我问“为什么”时，她给我的答案
她说“我没有背叛你”“我只是觉得冷。”
显然这不是他第一次“给她温暖”了。
4年过去了，我经历了一生中最美好的一段感情。
我们看着彼此成长，完成独立的目标，我们在慢慢成长
我们为未来做很多计划，她是个很棒的女人，我每天都感到很幸运。
我知道这有多艰难。有时候感觉疼痛总比什么都没有好。
Ex and I got into an argument on a Friday. Wanted to surprise her and apologize to her on Saturday morning. Snuck into her house around 7am and saw another dude laying next to her. When I confronted her she put her head under her pillow and refused to talk to me for like 5 mins.
I'll never forget her response to me asking "why?"
She said "I didn't cheat on you. I was just cold"
Apparently it wasn't the first time he was 'keeping her warm'.
4 years later and I'm in the best relationship of my life.
We've watched eachother grow and complete independent goals and we are slowly
planning lots of stuff out for the future. She's a wonderful woman and everyday I am blessed.
I know how rough it can be. Sometimes feeling pain is better than feeling nothing at all.
我和前任在周五吵了一架，在周六早上，我想给她个惊喜，向她道歉，早上7点溜进她家看到旁边躺着一个男人。当我质问她的时候，她把头埋在枕头下，持续5分钟都不跟我说话。
我永远不会忘记当我问“为什么”时，她给我的答案
她说“我没有背叛你”“我只是觉得冷。”
显然这不是他第一次“给她温暖”了。
4年过去了，我经历了一生中最美好的一段感情。
我们看着彼此成长，完成独立的目标，我们在慢慢成长
我们为未来做很多计划，她是个很棒的女人，我每天都感到很幸运。
我知道这有多艰难。有时候感觉疼痛总比什么都没有好。
Valan_Luca
We had been living together for years and had been engaged for the last year. We had always been bad at conflict resolution, our fights would spiral out of control and then our resolution period after would always be about the fight, never the actual problem that caused it.
Her style of arguing had always been inflammatory. Lots of yelling and name calling. Eventually this turned into insults and finally just straight abuse. Telling me I should kill myself, stomping from room to room for an hour screaming about how worthless I was while slamming doors. Throwing things, breaking things, and putting holes in walls. It came to a point where I didn't have to do anything to set her off, it could be something as little as she can't find the shoes she wants and now I'm fucking useless and should kill myself because I don't know what shoes she should wear.
I got low but kept trying because we had been together for so long and there were some really great qualities to her but when she got angry it was like dealing with another person. I would come home from work and breathe a sigh of relief when she wasn't there and would tense up instantly when I heard her pull in.
Finally, one day I told her I was so low from all the fighting and screaming that I went to bed some nights wishing I wouldn't wake up in the morning. It took her less than 8 hours to throw that in my face. She got upset about something innocuous and looked me dead in the eye and said "I do hope you die in your sleep tonight." It was like something just broke inside me and from that point I knew it was over. I broke off our engagement a little over a week later.
我们已经在一起生活了很多年，去年就订婚了。我们总是不擅长解决冲突，我们的争吵会失控，之后就一直争论吵架的内容，而不是导致争吵的真正问题。
她的争论风格总是很煽动性。经常大喊大叫并且还骂人。最后，变成了侮辱，最终就变成了直接的辱骂。她说我应该自杀，然后从一个房间到另一个房间跺了一个小时的脚，一边摔门一边大喊我是多么的没用。扔东西，打碎东西，在墙上打洞。后来到了我没有做任何事就能激怒她的地步，也可能是她找不到她想要的鞋子，而我现在就是个废物我应该自杀因为我不知道她该穿什么鞋
我情绪低落，但一直在努力，因为我们在一起的时间太长了，她有一些非常好的品质，但当她生气时，就像和另一个人打交道一样。我下班回到家，当她不在的时候，我会松一口气，当我听到她停车的声音，我会立刻紧张起来。
最后，有一天，我告诉她我因为所有的争吵和尖叫感到情绪很低落，以至于有几个晚上睡觉的时候，我希望自己不要在早上醒来。不到八个小时，她就跟我说，她因为一些无关痛痒的事情而心烦意乱，然后死死地盯着我的眼睛说:“我真希望你今晚在睡梦中死去。” 从那一刻起，就好像我内心有什么东西崩溃了，我知道一切都结束了。一个多星期后，我解除了我们的婚约。
We had been living together for years and had been engaged for the last year. We had always been bad at conflict resolution, our fights would spiral out of control and then our resolution period after would always be about the fight, never the actual problem that caused it.
Her style of arguing had always been inflammatory. Lots of yelling and name calling. Eventually this turned into insults and finally just straight abuse. Telling me I should kill myself, stomping from room to room for an hour screaming about how worthless I was while slamming doors. Throwing things, breaking things, and putting holes in walls. It came to a point where I didn't have to do anything to set her off, it could be something as little as she can't find the shoes she wants and now I'm fucking useless and should kill myself because I don't know what shoes she should wear.
I got low but kept trying because we had been together for so long and there were some really great qualities to her but when she got angry it was like dealing with another person. I would come home from work and breathe a sigh of relief when she wasn't there and would tense up instantly when I heard her pull in.
Finally, one day I told her I was so low from all the fighting and screaming that I went to bed some nights wishing I wouldn't wake up in the morning. It took her less than 8 hours to throw that in my face. She got upset about something innocuous and looked me dead in the eye and said "I do hope you die in your sleep tonight." It was like something just broke inside me and from that point I knew it was over. I broke off our engagement a little over a week later.
我们已经在一起生活了很多年，去年就订婚了。我们总是不擅长解决冲突，我们的争吵会失控，之后就一直争论吵架的内容，而不是导致争吵的真正问题。
她的争论风格总是很煽动性。经常大喊大叫并且还骂人。最后，变成了侮辱，最终就变成了直接的辱骂。她说我应该自杀，然后从一个房间到另一个房间跺了一个小时的脚，一边摔门一边大喊我是多么的没用。扔东西，打碎东西，在墙上打洞。后来到了我没有做任何事就能激怒她的地步，也可能是她找不到她想要的鞋子，而我现在就是个废物我应该自杀因为我不知道她该穿什么鞋
我情绪低落，但一直在努力，因为我们在一起的时间太长了，她有一些非常好的品质，但当她生气时，就像和另一个人打交道一样。我下班回到家，当她不在的时候，我会松一口气，当我听到她停车的声音，我会立刻紧张起来。
最后，有一天，我告诉她我因为所有的争吵和尖叫感到情绪很低落，以至于有几个晚上睡觉的时候，我希望自己不要在早上醒来。不到八个小时，她就跟我说，她因为一些无关痛痒的事情而心烦意乱，然后死死地盯着我的眼睛说:“我真希望你今晚在睡梦中死去。” 从那一刻起，就好像我内心有什么东西崩溃了，我知道一切都结束了。一个多星期后，我解除了我们的婚约。
Kamina_Crayman
My girlfriend at the time and I went to an all night nightclub 10pm-6am kind of place. After only half hour or so she suddenly decided she wanted to go home. I wasn't ready to leave as we'd only just got there but before we got into an argument one of our mutual guy friends offered to take her home as he wasn't feeling the vibe. (Not unusual for him he often left places when he "wasn't feeling the vibe")
Sounds good! I gave her the keys to our flat as she had left hers and said I'd see her later. Proceeded to have a great night with friends, didn't hear from my girlfriend but she was with a friend so I wasn't too worried. As I'm heading back home I drop her a message letting her know I'm on my way back and.
No reply.
I call her once I'm outside.
No reply.
I bang on the door, calling out for her.
No reply.
我当时的女朋友和我去了一家通宵夜总会，时间是晚上10点到早上6点。只过了半个小时左右，她突然决定要回家了。我还没准备好离开，因为我们刚到那里，但在我们发生争吵之前，我们共同的一个男性朋友提出带她回家，因为他感觉不到那种气氛了。(对他来说，当他“感觉不到氛围”的时候，他经常离开那个地方，这并不奇怪)
听起来不错！我把我们公寓的钥匙给了她，因为她已经离开了她之前的公寓，我说过一会儿再见她。然后和朋友们度过了一个美好的夜晚，没有收到我女朋友的消息，但她和一个朋友在一起，所以我不太担心。
在我回家的路上，我给她留了个信息，让她知道我正在回家的路上。
她没有回我
我到家门外给她打电话。
没有回我
我砰地敲门，大声喊她。
她没有回我
My girlfriend at the time and I went to an all night nightclub 10pm-6am kind of place. After only half hour or so she suddenly decided she wanted to go home. I wasn't ready to leave as we'd only just got there but before we got into an argument one of our mutual guy friends offered to take her home as he wasn't feeling the vibe. (Not unusual for him he often left places when he "wasn't feeling the vibe")
Sounds good! I gave her the keys to our flat as she had left hers and said I'd see her later. Proceeded to have a great night with friends, didn't hear from my girlfriend but she was with a friend so I wasn't too worried. As I'm heading back home I drop her a message letting her know I'm on my way back and.
No reply.
I call her once I'm outside.
No reply.
I bang on the door, calling out for her.
No reply.
我当时的女朋友和我去了一家通宵夜总会，时间是晚上10点到早上6点。只过了半个小时左右，她突然决定要回家了。我还没准备好离开，因为我们刚到那里，但在我们发生争吵之前，我们共同的一个男性朋友提出带她回家，因为他感觉不到那种气氛了。(对他来说，当他“感觉不到氛围”的时候，他经常离开那个地方，这并不奇怪)
听起来不错！我把我们公寓的钥匙给了她，因为她已经离开了她之前的公寓，我说过一会儿再见她。然后和朋友们度过了一个美好的夜晚，没有收到我女朋友的消息，但她和一个朋友在一起，所以我不太担心。
在我回家的路上，我给她留了个信息，让她知道我正在回家的路上。
她没有回我
我到家门外给她打电话。
没有回我
我砰地敲门，大声喊她。
她没有回我
I start freaking out so I call the friend who took her back home asking if anything happened, making sure she's ok.
No reply.
I know this friend still lived with his parents and I had their house number so I give them a call, at 6:30am, on a Sunday. They were not pleased! Though I explained the situation that I'm just trying to find out if my girlfriend is ok and what happened to her.
Friends parents say they'll go wake up friend to ask him. A few moments later they come back saying that girlfriend is fine and stayed the night with friend however I might want to have a conversation with girlfriend and put her on the phone.
It was weird, at that exact moment I knew she'd used the night out as an excuse to hook up with friend, I'm guessing she intended to go back to our flat before I got home but didn't get that far. But at the same time I didn't care, I'd realised that I don't want to be with her anymore and this was just the final straw in a haystack of problems.
Before she said anything I very bluntly asked her for the flat keys as I gave them to her earlier on in the night and when she said she lost them I just hung up. I couldn't be bothered to deal with her nonsense. I knew the relationship was over and I was 100% done with her.
我开始抓狂，于是我打电话给带她回家的朋友问她发生了什么事，
确保她没事
也没有回我
我知道这个朋友仍然和他的父母住在一起，我有他们家的电话号码，所以我在周日早上6点半给他们打电话。他们很不高兴！虽然我解释了我的情况，我只是想知道我的女朋友是否还好，她发生了什么事。
朋友的父母说他们会去叫醒他去问的。过了一会儿，他们回来说女朋友没事，并在朋友那里过夜了，不过，我想和女朋友谈谈，让她听电话。
很奇怪，就在那一刻，我知道她利用晚上出去的借口跟朋友勾搭，我猜她打算在我到家之前回我们家，但没来得及。
但同时我也不在乎，我意识到我不想再和她在一起了，这是一大堆问题中的最后一根稻草。
她还没开口，我就直截了当地向她要了钥匙，因为那天晚上早些时候我就把钥匙给她了。她说丢了，我就挂了。我懒得搭理她的废话。我知道这段感情结束了，我和她彻底玩完了。
No reply.
I know this friend still lived with his parents and I had their house number so I give them a call, at 6:30am, on a Sunday. They were not pleased! Though I explained the situation that I'm just trying to find out if my girlfriend is ok and what happened to her.
Friends parents say they'll go wake up friend to ask him. A few moments later they come back saying that girlfriend is fine and stayed the night with friend however I might want to have a conversation with girlfriend and put her on the phone.
It was weird, at that exact moment I knew she'd used the night out as an excuse to hook up with friend, I'm guessing she intended to go back to our flat before I got home but didn't get that far. But at the same time I didn't care, I'd realised that I don't want to be with her anymore and this was just the final straw in a haystack of problems.
Before she said anything I very bluntly asked her for the flat keys as I gave them to her earlier on in the night and when she said she lost them I just hung up. I couldn't be bothered to deal with her nonsense. I knew the relationship was over and I was 100% done with her.
我开始抓狂，于是我打电话给带她回家的朋友问她发生了什么事，
确保她没事
也没有回我
我知道这个朋友仍然和他的父母住在一起，我有他们家的电话号码，所以我在周日早上6点半给他们打电话。他们很不高兴！虽然我解释了我的情况，我只是想知道我的女朋友是否还好，她发生了什么事。
朋友的父母说他们会去叫醒他去问的。过了一会儿，他们回来说女朋友没事，并在朋友那里过夜了，不过，我想和女朋友谈谈，让她听电话。
很奇怪，就在那一刻，我知道她利用晚上出去的借口跟朋友勾搭，我猜她打算在我到家之前回我们家，但没来得及。
但同时我也不在乎，我意识到我不想再和她在一起了，这是一大堆问题中的最后一根稻草。
她还没开口，我就直截了当地向她要了钥匙，因为那天晚上早些时候我就把钥匙给她了。她说丢了，我就挂了。我懒得搭理她的废话。我知道这段感情结束了，我和她彻底玩完了。
Shantotto11
I live with her and sister. For an entire year, she was unemployed and her sister was underemployed and only had enough to pay for her own medical insurance. I worked 70-90 hours a week to cover the communal bills. It didn’t bother me until about 5 months after they both got decent paying jobs, she told me that “she couldn’t trust me to put others before myself”. At this point, I’m just waiting for the lease to run out…
我和她还有她的姐姐住在一起。整整一年，她都处于失业状态，而她的姐姐则处于半失业状态，只能支付自己的医疗保险。我每周工作70到90个小时来支付公共账单。直到5个月后，他们都找到了一份薪水不错的工作，我才意识到这一点。她告诉我，“她不相信我会先考虑别人再考虑自己。” 此时此刻，我只是在等待租约到期…
I live with her and sister. For an entire year, she was unemployed and her sister was underemployed and only had enough to pay for her own medical insurance. I worked 70-90 hours a week to cover the communal bills. It didn’t bother me until about 5 months after they both got decent paying jobs, she told me that “she couldn’t trust me to put others before myself”. At this point, I’m just waiting for the lease to run out…
我和她还有她的姐姐住在一起。整整一年，她都处于失业状态，而她的姐姐则处于半失业状态，只能支付自己的医疗保险。我每周工作70到90个小时来支付公共账单。直到5个月后，他们都找到了一份薪水不错的工作，我才意识到这一点。她告诉我，“她不相信我会先考虑别人再考虑自己。” 此时此刻，我只是在等待租约到期…
Spacesider
99% of the time when we were together it was just doing what she wanted, but I really did enjoy being around her so I didn't think much of it.
When she went away for two weeks I realised that I didn't even miss her. In fact I was enjoying the time alone much more. That's when I knew it was time to rethink the relationship because seeing her was turning into an actual chore and felt like a routine.
Reflecting back on it, I guess you could say she was just an extremely boring person as outside of work she spent all her time on the couch watching TV shows or playing mobile games. Suggesting that we actually do something together as a couple was always met with a no.
我们在一起的时候，99%的时间都是做她想做的事，但我真的很喜欢和她在一起，所以我没想太多。
当她离开两周后，我意识到我甚至没有想念她。事实上，我更享受独处的时光。那时我知道是时候重新考虑我们的关系了，因为见她已经变成了一件琐事，感觉就像例行公事一样。
回想起来，我猜你会说她是一个非常无聊的人，因为在工作之余，她把所有的时间都花在沙发上看电视节目或玩手机游戏。我建议我们像情侣一样一起做点什么但总是遭到拒绝。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
99% of the time when we were together it was just doing what she wanted, but I really did enjoy being around her so I didn't think much of it.
When she went away for two weeks I realised that I didn't even miss her. In fact I was enjoying the time alone much more. That's when I knew it was time to rethink the relationship because seeing her was turning into an actual chore and felt like a routine.
Reflecting back on it, I guess you could say she was just an extremely boring person as outside of work she spent all her time on the couch watching TV shows or playing mobile games. Suggesting that we actually do something together as a couple was always met with a no.
我们在一起的时候，99%的时间都是做她想做的事，但我真的很喜欢和她在一起，所以我没想太多。
当她离开两周后，我意识到我甚至没有想念她。事实上，我更享受独处的时光。那时我知道是时候重新考虑我们的关系了，因为见她已经变成了一件琐事，感觉就像例行公事一样。
回想起来，我猜你会说她是一个非常无聊的人，因为在工作之余，她把所有的时间都花在沙发上看电视节目或玩手机游戏。我建议我们像情侣一样一起做点什么但总是遭到拒绝。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
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