你和你父母关系怎么样( 下)
2021-06-19 龟兔赛跑 4470
正文翻译

How's your relationship with your parents?

你和你父母关系怎么样?

评论翻译
Mihir Khajanchi, studied at Veermata Jijabai Technological Institute
I lost my father when I was 14. I'm 22 right now and love my mother the most. Why, you ask? Because she makes my life simple. Are you hungry, son? World's best snacks will be on the table in 2 minutes flat along with masala chai. What, your head aches? I'll be sure to give you a massage. Did a relative say something bad about you? I'll be the one who would make him feel so bad that he has no option other than apologising.
And what does she ask for in return? Few minutes of devoted attention towards her every day and some moments of laughter.
A lot of times we miss spending time with our creators mostly because we're busy in our own world handling multiple gadgets at once.
But here's a simple advice: Cherish these moments with them till you can coz you never know when you won't be able to admire their presence.

Mihir Khajanchi, 曾就读于维尔玛塔·贾巴伊技术学院
我14岁时失去了父亲,现在22岁,最爱的人是我的母亲,你会问为什么?因为她让我的生活变得简单。
“你饿了吗,孩子?”两分钟后,世界上最好的小吃就会和印度香茶平摊在桌子上。“什么,头疼吗?”我给你按摩一下。“有亲戚说你坏话吗?我会让他心怀愧疚给你道歉。那她要求什么回报呢?其实只要每天花几分钟的时间陪她,逗她开心,很多时候,我们不得不和创业者待在一起,主要是因为我们忙着同时处理多个电子产品。
我有一个简单的建议:在你能独立之前,珍惜和父母在一起的时刻,因为你永远不知道什么时候他们就不在了。

Ikshita Khanna, lives in New Delhi
My mother helped me choose the lingerie when I was to meet my boyfriend of long distance. Can you believe it? Nobody can! Yes, this is the type of relationship I share with my mother. Amazing, no? I never till date felt the need to hide anything from her. All thanks to her. She respects me, my thoughts, my decisions, my feelings, my needs, my lifestyle, my space, a lot. This really isn't something that one can expect from an Indian parent.
I know I've let her down a number of times. Despite that she's the same amazing to me. She's the only reason that I feel blessed to be a part of this world. I know it's stupid but sometimes I just sit and wonder would I ever meet a guy who would be able to love me as much as my mom and what if I don't ? NO ! I don't wanna lead an unwedded life.
And gosh! I'm getting so emotional right now. I'd have called her and told her that how special she is and how much I love her and how lucky I feel to have her but she must have slept by now. Let's just wait for the morning.

Ikshita Khanna, 住在新德里
当我要去见我的异地男友时,我妈妈帮我挑选内衣,你能相信吗?恐怕没有哪个父母能做到这点吧!是的,这就是我和我母亲的关系,很神奇,不是吗?直到约会这天,我从没对她隐瞒什么,这都要感谢她,她尊重我,尊重我的想法,我的决定,我的感受,我的需求,我的生活方式,我的空间,还包括很多方面,这真的不是你能从印度父母那里期待得到的,我知道我已经让她失望很多次了,尽管如此,她还是对我很好,她是唯一让我觉得自己很幸运的人,我知道这个想法很愚蠢,但有时我会想,我会遇到一个能像我妈妈一样爱我的男人吗?如果我没有遇到呢?不!我不想过这样的生活。
天啊!说到这,我现在太激动了,我想给她打电话告诉她,她是多么的特别,我是多么的爱她,能拥有她,我是多么的幸运,但她现在肯定已经睡了,我还是等到明天早上吧。

Anonymous
My relationship with my parents is by far the unhealthiest, most conflicting relationship I’ve ever had. I only realized at age 17 that they are just two human beings among the multitude who struggle to live a good life but mess up very often. Before that, I wasted too much time arguing and fighting with my parents, or attempting, vainly, to seek their validation. At 8 years old, I brought home my best friends from elementary school. We had a really good afternoon playing in my bedroom. When she left the house, my father said to me that my friend was rude and noisy. No she wasn’t. She is a sweet, smart girl with manners.
So my father’s “rude, stupid, lack of proper upbringing” comment repeated several times whenever I brought friends home. I stopped bringing them home any longer.
As I grew to 10 my parents brought me to dinner with their friends or family. Dinner with adults is always boring for kids. So when kids finish their dinner, they just jump off the high chair and play around. I don’t know what other parents say. But every time after dinner, my father would tell me that I wasn’t behaving myself. He felt like I embarrassed him by not sitting still on the high chair. My mother just sat there and watched him scolding me. Up until now, I still have a strong distaste for having dinner with people that are not my friends. I hate reunx of hypocrites. I'm even more sick of being judged.

到目前为止,我与父母的关系是我经历过的最不健康、最矛盾的关系,17岁时,我才意识到,他们只是芸芸众生中很普通的两个人,他们努力过着美好的生活,但却经常闯祸。在那之前,我浪费了太多的时间和父母争吵,或者徒劳地想被他们的认可。8岁的时候,我把小学最好的朋友带回家,我们在卧室度过了一个愉快的下午,当她离开家时,我父亲对我说,我的朋友既粗鲁又吵闹,但事实是,她是一个可爱、聪明、有礼貌的女孩,所以每当我带朋友回家时,我父亲总是说我“粗鲁、愚蠢、缺乏教养”,我再也不带朋友回家了。当我10岁的时候,我的父母带我去他们的亲戚朋友那吃饭,对孩子们来说,和大人一起吃饭总是很无聊的,毕竟当孩子们吃完晚饭后,他们就会从高脚椅上跳下来四处玩耍,我不知道其他父母会怎么说,但每次吃完晚饭,我父亲都会说我不懂规矩,他觉得我没有安安稳稳地坐在那把高椅子上让他很尴尬,我母亲无动于衷的坐在那里,看着他责骂我。直到现在,我还是非常讨厌和不是我朋友的人一起吃饭,我讨厌伪君子之间的聚餐,我更讨厌别人对我评头论足。

When I was 13 years old, my parents suspected me to be a prostitute. They found in my bag a card printed with some massage ad, and they concluded that I was related to the sex service business. They took away my smart phone. I felt devastated. Because I couldn’t use my phone to learn English any more. My study plan would fail. I was using something like Duolingo at that time just to expand my vocabulary. And they suspected me to be a bitch.
One years later, I entered local high school’s honor class, scored Top 1% in the test. Perfect kid on the outside, I’m crumbling inside. I always felt like that I had to prove to others that I’m not the “bitch” or “noisy stupid kid” as my parents thought. I had to be smart, look good, so that people won't find how disgusting I actually was. Despite how my mom constantly told me that obeying them is the only way out, and that filial piety is the only right rule, I never really obeyed anything they told me.
‘Stop reading, too much books corrupt your mind.’
‘Don’t have your own dreams, because you’re being an ungrateful bitch not to follow our paths and insane not to follow the beaten paths.’
‘Professional therapist won’t do you any good. You’re just thinking too much.’
Ironically, my mom turned out to be a bipolar who refused to seek professional help and suffered from chronical insomnia.
Looking backward, I think it’s wise not to follow the advice given by people who are mentally ill.
At 16 I knew better and stopped arguing with them. All I need from them is the sponsorship to achieve my dreams. I was really lucky to find several awesome people helping me along the way so I walked gradually on the right track.

在我13岁的时候,我父母怀疑我是个妓女,他们在我的包里发现了一张印有按摩广告的卡片,他们断定我和性服务行业有关,之后他们拿走了我的手机,对此我很震惊,因为我再也不能用手机学英语了,我的学习计划会被打乱,我当时在用“多邻国”之类的软件来扩大我的词汇量,他们却怀疑我是个贱人。一年后,我进入了当地高中的优等班,在考试中取得了很好的成绩,你能想象外表完美的孩子,内心却崩溃了,我不得不向别人证明,我不是我父母想的那个“婊子”或“吵闹的傻孩子”,我必须优秀,漂亮,这样人们才不会认为我有多恶心,尽管我的妈妈经常告诉我服从他们的指令和孝顺才是唯一正确的规则,但我从来没有真正服从过他们要求我做的事。
“别读了,读太多的书会腐蚀你的头脑。”
“不要有自己的梦想,因为不按我们的规定就是个忘恩负义的婊子,不走他们的老路就是疯了。”
“专业治疗师对你没有任何帮助,你只是想太多了。”
更讽刺的是,我妈妈是双相情感障碍患者,她拒绝寻求专业帮助,还患上了慢性失眠,回顾过去,我认为不要听从那些精神疾病的人的建议是明智的。16岁时,我明白了,不再和他们争吵,我想要的只是他们的资金来实现我的梦想,很幸运,一路上有几个很棒的人帮助我,所以我逐渐走上了正确的道路。

Interesting, it was still not the end of our conflicts. One day I brought them to my mentor(who helped me preparing for studying abroad), hoping that they can exchange some information on my future plans. Guess what they said to my mentor. Again, “she is an ungrateful little bastard who lacks any gratitude for us, and sending her abroad brings no good for us.” Before hearing them said that right in front of me, I can’t imagine any parents would say so.
Things only started to change when I finally emotionally distanced myself from them. I figured out that whenever I opened up, what’s there to greet me are only their judgments, biases and stereotypes. I’m no longer reliant on their validation, and became less and less susceptible to their emotions and wrong judgments. When I felt that my privacy got intruded, I got angry and displayed my temper as an adult will do. When I don’t want to be surrounded by their negativity, I stay away like I would do to any other negative people. When I borrow money from them, I do so as if I were borrowing from a bank, knowing that one day I’ll pay back every penny along with the compounded interests. I remember my relief at the moment I received my full-ride package from a prestigious college. One step closer to independency.
At some night, I lie down on the bed from a tired day. The effect of melatonin has not yet kicked in, and I would think about my mama and papa. I remember how mama took me to the supermarket and told me to buy whatever I want to eat. I remember the tenderness in her eyes when I accidentally hurt myself with boiled water.
And daddy. Oh daddy my daddy. He was the one who took me to the park, who bought me gifts when he travels in business, who said he would give anything he can. And then I forgive them. I forgive myself.
When I get up the next morning, I set and keep my boundaries. I’m tired and sick of being hurt and hurting anymore. I figure this is the best way for us.

我们的冲突还没有结束,有一天我把他们带到了我的导师那里(他帮我准备了留学),希望他们能就我未来的计划发表意见,猜猜他们对我的导师说了什么,“她是个忘恩负义的小混蛋,对我们毫无感激之情,把她送出国对我们没有任何好处。”在听到他们当着我的面这么说之前,我无法想象有哪个父母会这么说,最终我疏远了他们,事情才开始改变,我发现,每当我敞开心扉,迎接我的只有他们的判断、偏见和成见,我不再想得到他们的认可,也越来越不容易受到他们的情绪和错误判断的影响。当我觉得我的隐私被侵犯时,我像成年人一样表达我的愤怒;当我不想被消极的人包围时,我就会像对待其他消极的人一样远离他们;当我向他们借钱时,我就像从银行借钱一样,知道有一天我会连同利息归还每一分钱。我还记得,在我收到一所名牌大学的全额奖学金时,我松了一口气,因为离独立又近了一步。有一天晚上,我累了一天,躺在床上,褪黑素还没有起作用,我想起了我的父母,回忆起妈妈带我去超市,告诉我想吃什么就买什么,当我不小心被开水弄伤时,她眼中的温柔,爸爸带我去公园,他出差时给我买礼物,他说他会给我任何他能给的东西,回忆着这些,最后我原谅了他们,也算是我原谅我自己,我觉得这是最好的办法。

Nicole Kane, former Lasagna Taster at Memes & Co. (1949-1998)
I actually am rather nervous about answering this. Not because I don't want to present this information to my followers on Quora, but because I don't want to present it to the people I know in real life.
But here goes nothing:
My mom and I have a complicated relationship. When my sister stopped talking to my family, when she became a teenager, my mom put a lot of pressure on me, even more then she already did. “Stop talking so much. Keep your posture. Make your smile better. Get better grades.”
That kind of pressure being repeatedly put on me day after day made it hard for a while, but it's better now. As for her future prospects with me, well that's a different story. She forced me to do track this year and lashed out when I said I wanted to do band instead. She wants me to become a lawyer and “Do what she couldn't.” My mother is really strict on me instead of my sister and is projecting her own visions onto me. That kind of realization is hard on somebody. That you can never be yourself; you have to be what everybody else wants. But I know my mom just wants what's best for me. She's trying. If she loses her projecting and just lets me be who I want, our relationship will be a lot less strained.
My dad and I have a more relaxed relationship. We always have. He is always understanding whenever something happens, and helps me learn from it. He is not without his faults, but he's a nice change of pace from my mom. Neither of the relationships with my parents are bad. I love them both. But each one has things to fix.

其实我对回答这个问题很紧张,不是因为我不想把这些信息呈现给Quora上的粉丝,而是因为我不想把这些信息呈现给我在现实生活中认识的人,但应该也没有什么影响:
我妈妈和我的关系很复杂,当我姐姐在她青春期不再和我家人说话的时候,我妈妈给了我很大的压力,甚至比她以前给我的压力还要大。“别废话了,保持你的站姿,让你的笑容更灿烂,得到更好的成绩。”这种日复一日反复施加在我身上的压力让我艰难生活了一段时间,但现在好多了。至于她和我未来会发生什么,那就是另一回事了,今年她强迫我做计划,但当我说我想搞乐队的时候,她猛烈抨击了我,因为她想让我成为一名律师(她做不到的事),我的母亲对我很严格,相反对我姐姐很随意,她把自己的想法强加到我身上,这种强加思想对某些人来说很痛苦,你永远不能做你自己,你必须成为别人理想的人,但我知道我妈妈是为了我好,她试过不这样强迫我,如果她能放下固执,让我随心所欲,我们的关系就不会那么紧张了。

Prachi, studies Commerce at Shrimanta Shankar Academy (2023)
I hate to elaborate it but I'm gonna do it They roast me every single day. I guess my humourous genes generated from them. I hope I am humorous. I guess I am. Am I? They scold me every single day. Yeah! For a rebellious and lazy teenager, these kind of things are acceptable. I don't mind. But, sometimes when I stifle a laugh in between their scoldings, things does get abnormal.
From my parents' bank accounts to their monthly salary,past stories,secrets,business talks etc. everything I know. I know what is going on in my family every single day. In simple words, they trust me enough to share with me everything. We bicker a lot. But, in the end I always end up sleeping in between them. In another words, they love me enough to not let me go.
I never have any demands. Whatever they give me, i accept it but only in a few cases,I ask things from them like buying books or the latest edition of jeans etc. They said that they are proud of me as I don't have any demands for anything. I have been treated like a free birdie in my family. Liberty is power and yes my parents are utterly liberal with me. I don't have any restrictions cause I know that age matters.
In one sentence, my relationship with my parents is robust. Sometimes, their love for me overflows a lot, but who doesn't like to be loved? I love the way they treat me.

Prachi, 什里曼塔尚卡尔学院商业专业学生(2023年)
我不想详细说明我们之间的关系,但我还是要这么做,他们每天都在熏陶我,我想我的幽默基因就是由此产生,我希望我是幽默的,我觉得我就是这么想的,但我是真的这么想的吗?他们每天都骂我,对于一个叛逆、懒惰的青少年来说,这样的事情是可以接受的,我不介意,但是,有时当我在被他们责骂而憋笑时,事情就变得不一样了。
我父母的银行账户和他们的月薪,过去的故事,秘密,商业谈判等等,我都知道,包括每天家里发生的大小事,简而言之,他们足够信任我,愿意和我分享一切,但我们也经常吵架,最后我会睡在他们中间让矛盾化解,换句话说,他们非常爱我。
我从来没有任何要求,无论他们给我什么,我都接受,但只有在少数情况下,我会向他们要东西,比如买书或最新版本的牛仔裤等,对此他们会很高兴,因为我一直以来对任何东西都没有要求,我在家里一直被当作一只自由的小鸟对待,自由就是力量,我的父母完全支持我,我没有任何束缚,我知道这是我年纪小的原因,一句话概括,我和父母的关系是稳固的,有时候,他们对我过于溺爱了,但谁不喜欢被爱呢?我喜欢他们对待我的方式。

Fred Shirley, Barista and Catering Assistant (2015-present)
There is a vast amount of love that flows between my parents and me. We really do adore each other. My Mum and I get on fantastically well. We rarely have a cross word, and if we do, we end up apologising almost immediately because we both feel too bad about it.
My father, on the other hand…It’s perfectly natural for relationships between kids and parents to change as they get older. In fact, I’d say it was a given. Especially during your early teens. It was at this point that I thought my father was placed on this earth just to completely baffle me. I think he felt the same way. We just do things differently from each other. And it can cause some tension.
Sometimes I want to scream and ask him “why do you have to do things this way?! Can’t you see my way is simpler?!” but of course I don’t. At least, not regularly. We approach problems in ways that completely flummox the other one. And that’s OK. My way probably isn’t better than his. Probably. If anything it’s taught me patience and willingness to look at things differently; things that are not bad traits.

Fred Shirley, 咖啡师兼餐饮助理(2015年至今)
我父母和我之间非常有爱,我们真的很爱对方,我妈妈和我相处融洽,我们很少吵架,即使吵架,我们也会立刻道歉,因为我们都不喜欢冷战。孩子和父母之间的关系随着年龄的增长而发生变化是很自然的事,我觉得这是不可避免的,尤其是在青少年时期,也就是在这个时候,我觉得我父亲的使命就是为了让我彻底困惑,我想他也是这么想的,我们只是做事方式不同,有时候还会因为这个让关系变紧张,有时我真想大喊,问他“你为什么要这样做!”难道你看不出我的方式更简单吗!“但我当然不知道,至少,不经常了解,我们处理问题的方式都差不多,我的方法可能不比他的好,如果说争吵教会了我耐心和从不同的角度看待事物,那它就是好的。

Caleb Lee, works at Self-Employment
I grew up in NY, Long Island, 5 minutes from where the fictional Great Gatsby took place. There are more Mercedes and BMW's here than Prius or pick-up trucks, for a satirical demographic portrayal of the area in which I grew up in (my parents drovea Daewoo--a car company that went bankrupt back before I knew what the word bankrupt meant). I'd say the average price of houses in a 2 mile radius is $1 million USD.
I start off with where I grew up to reference the kinds of "standards" for comparisons that my local community uses to fulfill their bragging rights, and parents often use their children for such measures. Many of my peers went off to medical school as we are located another 5 minutes from the world renown and prestigious Long Island Jewish Hospital (mecca for asian parents); many are still trying to get in, are getting their masters, etc. etc. The pressure to become a doctor, lawyer, professor are through the roof.
Here's the catch. What usually drives/pressures >50% of ALL medical students to become doctors (family obligation), I had none of. I've failed twice at getting into medical school. I'm considering a third, but not really. I'm nearly jobless. I'm pivoting into a completely different industry that doesn't give my parents "bragging" rights. But they're gentle, selfless, and only think about what they could have done better to raise me and my older siblings. Somehow, by the grace of God, my parents have shown nothing but unconditional love and patience. My mother flashes smiles and literally gives free laughter and love, uplifting my soul every time we speak. She encourages me spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, listening to my deepest insecurities and concerns and reminding me that everything will be okay.
What a blessing it is to have a mother tell her son who couldn't get into medical school twice that he is more worthy in her eyes than any doctor or lawyer, with a smile on her face followed by words of encouragement, especially in a society that leeches off of comparisons and status.
My father is the same. He was the one that gave me the keys to the 200,000 mile minivan to drive across country in between college and to experience and enjoy life. He was the one who tells me to not worry so much and not let money be my goal. He is the one who financed my trip to India to volunteer at orphanages and mother Theresa's home, to Vanuatu to do research on health modernization, and tells me everyday he is so proud of me.
In my eyes, I'm still a baby, a failure at many things and have many more lessons to learn. But to have loving parents who would unconditionally support me and encourage me is worth more than any success, experience, title, or amount of money. If anything, it adds this deep, powerful, unquenchable fuel to my fire to succeed and change the world by sharing their unconditional love for me, one way or another. They have taught me the true value to life, and that it's nothing money can buy, but rather, the selfless love that one can share and give to another. So the relationship I have with my parents, can be summed up into one word: priceless.

我在纽约长岛长大,距离小说《了不起的盖茨比》的创作地只有5分钟距离,这里的奔驰(Mercedes)和宝马(BMW)比普锐斯(Prius)或皮卡还多,这是对我成长的地区的人口统计描述(我的父母经营了一家大宇(Daewoo)汽车公司,在我知道破产是什么意思之前,这家汽车公司就破产了)。我想2英里范围内房屋的平均价格是100万美元,我从我出生地开始,这是参照我所在社区的各种“标准”进行比较得出的,父母们经常用他们的孩子来衡量这些标准,我的许多同龄人都去了医学院,因为我们离世界著名和久负盛名的长岛犹太医院(亚洲父母的圣地)只有5分钟的路程,许多人仍在努力,获得硕士学位。在这个地方,当医生、律师、教授的压力大得惊人,通常50%的医科学生成为医生的压力来自家庭责任,而我没有,我考了两次都没能进医学院,我在考虑要不要考第三次,但最后否定了,我快失业了,我想转向一个完全不同的行业,在那里我父母没有“炫耀”的权利,但他们只会觉得他们本可以做得更好来抚养我和我的哥哥姐姐们,无论如何,感谢上帝的恩典,我的父母除了无条件的爱和耐心外什么也没有表现出来,每次我们说话的时候,我的母亲总是嘴角挂着微笑,毫不吝啬地给予我微笑和爱,使我的灵魂得到升华,她在心理上、情感上和精神上都鼓励我,安抚我内心深处的不安和担忧,告诉我一切都会好起来的。
我的父亲也很好,他给了我能跑20万英里的小货车的钥匙,让我可以在上大学时就能驾驶它穿越全国,体验和享受生活;是他告诉我不要太担心,不要让钱成为我的目标;是他资助了我去印度的孤儿院和特蕾莎修女的家做志愿者,去瓦努阿图做健康现代化的研究,他每天都告诉我,他为我感到骄傲。在我看来我还太稚嫩了,经历过很多次失败,我还有很多要学习的地方,但是有爱我的父母无条件地支持和鼓励我,比任何成功、经验、头衔或金钱都更有价值,进一步说,那就是通过某种方式分享他们对我无条件的爱,为我的成功和改变世界之火添加了这种深刻的、强大的、不可熄灭的燃料,他们教会了我人生的真正价值,那不是金钱能买到的,而是一个人可以分享和给予他人的无私的爱,所以我和我父母的关系,可以归结为一个词:无价。

Virali Modi, my parents are my best friends.
I get along extremely well with both of my parents and I'm really close to them. We're a close knit family and we love each other to bits and pieces. We're always joking around, pulling each others' legs, and having a good time.
I joke about my dad's balding spot on his head, my mom's weight, and they both joke around about my paralysis. It's all fun and games. I can say that my parents are really open minded and are super awesome. They talk about everything and anything with me, including sex.
My parents aren't my parents, but my bestest friends in the world. My dad smokes hookah with me, and my mom enjoys us competing. (Guess what? I always win).
For people who aren't Indians, it may seem normal, but I'm sure my Indian friends can agree that most Indian parents aren't usually that open minded.

Virali Modi, 我的父母是我最好的朋友。
我和我的父母都相处得非常好,我和他们非常亲近,我们家庭成员有着紧密的联系,我们彼此深爱着对方,我们总是互相开玩笑,玩得很开心,我拿我爸的秃顶和我妈的体重开玩笑,他们拿我的瘫痪开玩笑,这些都只是娱乐和游戏,我可以说我的父母思想很开放,而且思维超级棒,他们什么都跟我说,包括性。我的父母不仅仅是我的父母这么简单,还是我在这个世界上最好的朋友,我爸爸和我一起抽水烟,我妈妈喜欢看我们比赛,你猜怎么着?我总是赢。
对于非印度人来说,这可能看起来很正常,但我相信我的印度朋友会赞同大多数印度父母通常没有那么开放的思想的说法。

Anonymous
We'll just say that my father and I have no relationship. I've written about that a bit elsewhere, and really, he's not important enough to discuss. So we'll get him out of the way. I am very close with my mother; we talk almost daily. I look out for her; she is working hard to keep my life afloat while I finish my Master's.
When I was young and going through medical things, there was no better caretaker. When I had a lower body cast from the hips down, she carried me everywhere. When I didn't have that lower body cast, she still carried me when I got too tired to walk. She came to my school daily to give me medicine. She worked hard to give me the best education possible. She was at all of my school events. When I was in the hospital, I'd hate for her to leave and be impatient until she came back. We love each other, then and now.
But shit gets complicated, even in the best of families.
Not everything works the way it's supposed to, and even the best people in the world do things that they're not proud of, or rather, they don't do things that they're supposed to do in certain situations, like my father, who was a sadist, who abused us a lot, This caused a huge rift between us when I was a teenager and a young adult. We were always at odds with each other, but with my mom's protection, in the end, I chose to understand and forgive. Our relationship was always complicated, but it was what it was. Sure, our relationship has been a complex one. But there it is.

我想说的就是我和我父亲没有关系,我已经在其他场合发表过了,他并不重要,不值一提,我和妈妈很亲密,我们几乎每天都交谈,我照顾她,在我读完硕士学位之前,她努力工作让我的生活不至于太拮据。
在我早期尤其是医疗方面,没有比她更好的人了,我的下半身从臀部开始都打了石膏,她带着我去任何地方,当我痊愈时,当累得走不动的时候,她仍然不离不弃,每天来我的学校给我送药,她努力让我获得最好的教育,她参加了我学校的所有活动,我们彼此相爱,不管是过去还是现在,但事情会变得复杂,即使是在最好的家庭。并不是所有的事情都按照它应该的方式进行,即使是世界上最优秀的人也会做一些他们不引以为豪的事情,或者更确切地说,他们在某种情况下不会做他们应该做的事情,比如我的父亲,他是个虐待狂,他经常虐待我们,这在我十几岁刚成年的时候造成了我们之间的巨大裂痕,我们一直处于对立状态,但在妈妈的保护下,最终,我选择了理解和宽恕,我们的关系一直很复杂,但事实就是这样。

Millicent Dianne, studied Bachelor of Commerce in Accounting and Finance at George Brown College (2019)
During my early teens I was neither close with my parents. My parents were very strict since childhood: I wasn't allowed to go outside, play and interact with other children aside from my sister and cousins that live near where we lived. Furthermore, in high school my parents did not allow me to interact with my friends outside of school hours. I fought hard to earn some freedom, hell I rebelled along the way by shaving my leg hair (oh boy that was a nightmare), had a year older boyfriend (that was another nightmare), and many more.
I grew older and became a bit more mature. My parents finally accepted that it's okay for me to wax my hairy beast legs, and it's okay to fall in love-- well that one needs more time and work. Okay I lied: "no dating 'till marriage". Nonetheless, ever since my harsh first love break-up-- I consoled to my mother, and she became my best friend. She's my female role model, and the one I can trust and lean when plans don't go exactly like the way I want it to be.
On the other hand, jealousy runs through me whenever my girl friends talk about the activities they did with their fathers and how they're their 'daddy's little girl'. There are days when I wish my dad and I somewhat bonded, I mean we both try but his personality: easily tempered, pessimistic and narrow-minded, clashes with mine. I must admit I get easily tempered too but I lean more towards being optimistic and open-minded. Whenever I talk to my dad, I talk to him in a very quiet tone compared to my mother (I can speak up, stand my ground and state my case without hesitation). I honestly don't know why I can't speak up and stand my ground when it comes to talking about my desires , failures and goals to my dad but I believe it's because I want more than anything his approval... I know it's terrible.

Millicent Dianne,乔治布朗学院会计与金融商业学士(2019年)
在我十几岁的时候,我和父母关系并不亲密,他们从小就对我很严格,除了住在附近的姐姐和表兄弟姐妹,我不能出去和其他人玩,不能和其他孩子交流。此外,在高中的时候,我的父母不允许我在课余时间和我的朋友互动,我努力争取获得自由,于是我反抗的过程中剃掉了腿毛(哦,天哪,那是一个噩梦),谈了一个比我大一岁的男朋友(那是另一个噩梦),还有很多。
当我慢慢我长大变得更成熟时,我的父母最终接受了我想脱腿毛的想法了,也可以谈恋爱,当然,谈恋爱需要更多的时间和努力,好吧,我撒谎了,结婚前不许约会。但是,自从我和我的初恋分手后,我向我母亲寻求安慰,最后她成了我最好的朋友,她是我的女性榜样,是我可以信任的人,当计划不按我希望的方式进行时,她是我可以依靠的人。另一方面,每当我的女性朋友们谈到他们和父亲一起做的事情,以及她们是她们的“爸爸的小棉袄”时,我就会嫉妒,有时候,我希望我和父亲能更亲密,但他的性格,易怒、悲观、心胸狭窄,与我的性格不太合,我必须承认,我脾气也很不好,但我更倾向于乐观和开放,和母亲谈话时,我可以直言不讳,坚持自己的立场,毫不犹豫地陈述自己的情况,但每当我和父亲说话时,我都用非常无所谓的语调和他说话,老实说,我不知道为什么在向我父亲谈论我的愿望、失败和目标时,我不能说出自己的想法并坚持自己的立场,但我相信,这是因为我想要得到他的认可,这比任何事情都重要。

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