怎样才能让女孩喜欢你(二)
2021-07-22 龟兔赛跑 5546
正文翻译
How do you get a girl to like you?

怎样才能让女孩喜欢你?

评论翻译
Unnati Bagga, German Certification from St. Stephen's College, University of Delhi
I was sitting with her. She was blushing.
She had come out of a really toxic relationship and for the first time in three years, I saw my friend, blooming.
They met at an event. He was the hot shot smarty who knew way too much about everything. At first, he looked like a show-off. He lectured her about life and business. She, on the other hand was just pissed off with him.
Yet, they decided to catch up.
They met at a normal coffee shop and discussed about life, in and out. He was not that bad, she thought.
She said she wanted to pay. He stopped her by saying, she should when they catch up the next time.
They met again. This time he dropped her home.

当我和她坐在一起的时候,她脸红了。
因为她才刚从一段非常糟糕的关系中走了出来,所以这是我三年来第一次,看到我的朋友容光焕发。
他们是在一次活动中认识的。他是一个聪明绝顶的家伙,对什么事都了如指掌。一开始,他看起来像是一个很爱炫耀的人。他告诉了她很多关于生活和事业方面的知识。其实她并不想分手,她只是生他的气。
所以,他们还是决定再见一面叙叙旧。
他们约在一家普通的咖啡店见面,他们探讨了生活中的方方面面。她心里想着,其实他并没有那么坏。她原本想着这次她来买单的。但他拦住了她,跟她说,等下次再见面的时候就让她付款。
他们又见面了。这一次,他把她送回了家。

They met again and she told him to stay away. She did not wanted any love drama in her life. (He did not harass her but continued to put in efforts)
He still met her. Talked to her. Messaged her.
They met again and he confessed his love.
He did everything to make her smile. Picked her up in the morning (their offices were near by). Dropped her home. Helped her to sort her life, lifted her mood, held her hand, nourished her soul, heard her crying, took her out, stayed with her through thick and thin.
And then, she fell for him.
Noticing this, this man did not think he won. He thought it was his responsibility to put in more efforts.
He did everything to make her smile. Picked her up in the morning (their offices were near by). Dropped her home. Helped her to sort her life, lifted her mood, held her hand, nourished her soul, heard her crying, took her out, stayed with her through thick and thin.
Coming to her.

后来他又去找她了,但这一次她叫他离她远点。因为她不想在她的生活中再出现任何的爱情剧。(但其实他并没有骚扰她,而是在继续努力追求她)
后来,他还是遇见了她。并和她谈了一会,还给她发了信息。
最后,他们又见面了,这一次他承认了他对她的爱。
他所做的一切都是为了让她笑。他早上会去接她上班(他们的办公室就在附近),下班了把她送回家,帮她处理生活中的琐事,让她开心。在她身边陪伴着她,握住她的手,滋养她的灵魂,倾听她的哭诉,带她出去玩,陪伴她度过一个又一个难关。
最后,她爱上了他。
但这个男的并不认为自己赢了。他认为自己有责任付出更多的努力让她开心。
他来到她的身边陪着她。

She was a gem. She knew how everyone wants to feel appreciated.
She took care of him. She got scared when he was ill. She made sure he was okay. She helped him with business, she made sure he starts to live and not just run. She lifted his mood. Looked at him as magic and worked hard to stick with him.
It has been 3 years since then and I have never seen a happier couple.
The simplest way to get a girl/boy is learning how to keep them. Don't treat people like trophies before getting them and shit after getting them.
Make sure when you like someone, you appreciate them in every manner. You celebrate their presence. And then, they will eventually mask off. They will fall for you.
Consistent efforts are romantic.

她就是一颗宝石,她知道每个人都想要被别人欣赏。
但同时她也在照顾着他,当他生病的时候,她很害怕他会出事,所以一直在他身边照顾他,直到确定他没事了。她帮他一起做生意,帮他重振旗鼓,确保他能重新开始,而不是逃避问题。她努力逗他开心,努力地和他在一起。
3年过去了,我从未见过比他们更幸福的一对了。
所以让一个女孩或男孩喜欢你,最简单的方法就是要学会如何留住他们。不要在追他们的时候把他们当作战利品,在得到他们之后就不再珍惜他们了。
当你喜欢上一个人的时候,你一定会以各种方式欣赏他。你会庆幸他们的出现,努力追求他们。最后,他们终会摘下面具,爱上你。
始终如一的努力追求爱是很浪漫的一件事。

Andrew Ferebee, 3X Bestselling Dating Author | Men's Relationship Coach
For starters, you need to ask a different question.
The question “How do you get a girl to like you” is coming from a place of scarcity.
You don’t have the women you want in your life and so you feel like you NEED girls to like you.
This attitude will sabotage you at every turn and ensure that you NEVER get to be with the women you truly like.
Besides… You aren’t attracted to EVERY woman.
And the same things that some women will find attractive, other women will find repulsive.
So, instead, ask yourself the question, “How can I find and attract girl that I like who fulfills the needs I have in my relationships”
When you ask this question, you will enter into all encounters with an attitude of “I hope I like her” instead of “I hope she likes me” and this is a subtle but powerful shift that will dramatically change the way you date forever.
Anyways…
With that little rant out of the way, here are some more actionable steps you can take to attract the women you desire into your life.

首先,你需要问一个不同的问题。
”怎样才能让女孩喜欢你“这个问题来自一个没有爱的地方。
你的生活中没有你想要的女人,所以你觉得你需要女孩喜欢你。
这种态度会让你处处受挫,让你永远无法和你真正喜欢的女人在一起。
再说了,并不是每个女人都会吸引你的。
同样的事情有些女人会觉得很有吸引力,但有些女人会觉得很恶心。
所以,相反地,你要问你自己这样一个问题,”我怎样才能找到并吸引那些能满足我在人际关系中需要的女孩呢?“
当你问这个问题时,你的态度就会变成”我希望我喜欢她“,而不是“我希望她喜欢我”,这是一个微妙而有力的转变,将彻底改变你约会的方式。
不管怎么说,除了刚刚那些小小的抱怨外,这里还有一些更加可行的步骤,你可以采取一些措施来吸引你心仪的女人进入你的生活。

1. Be On YOUR Path
The first step to attracting the women you desire is to be on YOUR path.
What do I mean by this?
Women are attracted to men of purpose. Men who have a mission in life and are making something of themselves. (the right women are at least).
Women don’t want a man whose entire mission in life is to make her happy.
They want a man who has goals of his own and is creating an epic life that she gets to be a part of.
So how can you be more attractive to women?
By being on your own path and creating an amazing life.
If you’re currently doing the same things that every other man out there is doing, you’ll get the same results (namely, a few shameful hookups without any real connection or settling for a relationship you don’t really want to be in).
However, if you dominate your path, set and achieve ambitious goals and turn your life into an adventure? The right women will enter into your life and find you irresistibly attractive.
This doesn’t mean you have to be the next Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.
All I mean is that you need to have goals.
You need to have hobbies, skills, and activities that most men don’t try (e.g. music, art, dance, reading, bow hunting, blogging, travel etc.)
Become more interesting by doing more interesting things.
Create a life that is fun and adventurous and the right women will naturally come into your life.

走好你自己的路:
吸引你心仪女性的第一步就是坚定的走好你自己的路。
我想表达的是什么意思呢?
就是女人会被有目标的男人所吸引。就是那些在生活中有目标,并且正在努力实现自己目标的男人(至少对的那个女性会这么想)。
女人想要的不是一个整天只会逗自己笑的男人。
她们想要的是一个有自己目标的男人,他能创造史诗般的生活,而她也能成为其中的一部分。
那么怎样才能让自己对女性产生更大的吸引力呢?
首先你要做的就是走好自己的路,努力创造属于你自己的精彩人生。
如果你现在和其他男人做的事情是一样的,那么你得到的结果自然也是一样的(结果就是一些没有任何意义的无聊的勾搭,或者是一段你并不是真正想要的关系)。
但如果由你主宰你人生的路,何不给自己设定一个壮志勃勃的目标,并努力实现这个目标,将你自己的生活变成一场大冒险呢?到那个时候,自然会有合适的女人进入你的生活,并发现你所具有的不可抗拒的魅力。
这并不意味着您必须要成为下一个史蒂夫·乔布斯或比尔·盖茨。
我的意思是你需要有目标。
你需要有大多数男人不会去尝试的爱好、技能和活动(例如音乐、艺术、舞蹈、阅读、弓箭狩猎、博客、旅行等等)。
你可以通过做很多有趣的事情让你的生活变得更加有趣。
你可以让你的生活充满乐趣和冒险,到那时候,适合你的女性自然会进入你的生活。

2. Understand Dating, Status, and Evolutionary Psychology
While the first step to being a more attractive man is to have a mission and purpose, do interesting things, and create a life of adventure, this isn’t enough.
If it was, you wouldn’t see so many millionaires and business moguls attending dating bootcamps and hiring relationships coaches.
To successfully attract and keep the women you desire, you must understand evolutionary psychology, the dynamics of dating, and status.
While I could write an entire novel on this subject (and actually have), I’ll try and condense it down here as much as I can.
Maintain strong eye contact
Ask more questions and spend less time talking
Keep good posture
Dress well and take care of your body (more on that in a minute)
Playfully touch the women you’re attracted to during conversation (on the arm, shoulder, or hand)
Embrace the friend zone (women want to be with men who have other beautiful women in their life)
Create an epic social circle (this builds status and perceived value)
Speak with deep vocal tonality
Develop your sense of humor (watch more comedies and stand ups)
Build scarcity (leave parties early, wait to respond to messages, don’t be too available)
Like I said, this is a HUGE topic and many successful entrepreneurs have built 7 or 8 figure empires JUST talking about the nuances of these subjects.
But the above bullet list should be enough to get you started.
For further education, I’d recommend reading my book The Dating Playbook for Men, Mate by Tucker Max and Geoffrey Miller, Models by Mark Manson, and The Game by Neil Strauss.

了解约会、地位和进化心理学的相关知识:
虽然成为一个更有吸引力的男人的第一步是有一个明确的使命和目标,是去做有趣的事情,是去创造一种冒险的生活,但只有这些还不够。
如果靠这些就能成功的话,你就不会看到有那么多的百万富翁和商界大亨去参加相亲训练营,去聘请教练来教他们恋爱了。
所以,为了成功地吸引和留住你想要的女人,您必须了解进化心理学、约会动力学以及地位的相关知识。
虽然我可以就这个主题写一部完整的小说(事实上我已经写了),但我还是尽可能地把它浓缩成几句话说。
首先你要保持强烈的眼神交流,多问问题,少说话。
其次保持良好的姿势,穿着得体,并确保拥有一个好身体(关于这一点,稍后会详细介绍)。
在交谈中,你可以开玩笑地触碰一下你所喜欢女人的手臂、肩膀或手。
要有属于自己的朋友圈(因为女人喜欢和生活中有其他漂亮女人的男人在一起)。
创建一个宏大的社交圈(这可以建立地位和感知价值)。
然后你可以用低沉的声调说话,增强你的幽默感(你可以多看看喜剧和脱口秀)。
然后你还可以加强你自己的存在感,比如你可以提前离开派对,等她回复消息,但不要显得你自己太闲了。
就像我说的,这是一个非常巨大的话题,许多成功的企业家仅仅靠着谈论这些话题的细微差别,就已经赚了7位到8位数了。
但是上面列出的几条建议应该足以让您入门了。
为了进一步深造,我推荐你可以阅读这些书:塔克 · 马克斯的《男人的约会手册》和杰弗里 · 米勒的《伴侣》,以及马克 · 曼森的《模特》和尼尔 · 施特劳斯的《游戏》。

3. Improve Your Appearance
As much as people want to tell you that looks don’t matter… They do.
Sure, there are plenty of unnatractive dudes who still date models. But it’s much harder for these men to succeed in the dating game than it is for good looking guys.
That’s just the truth.
Luckily, your appearance IS something you can improve.
The first, and most important step is to get into amazing shape.
The lower your body fat, the more chiseled your face will appear and the better your body will look.
I’d recommend getting down to 8–9% body fat if possible (with some solid muscle and definition).
Furthermore, by following an intelligent skin and dental regimen you can maximize your looks and ensure that you appear healthy and youthful well into your 30’s and 40’s.
With the physical aspects taken care of, you’ll want to develop better style.
This doesn’t mean that you need to wear a suit or buy a bunch of clothes that are’t congruent with who you are.
Instead, just make sure that the clothes you buy fit exceptionally well, are wrinkle free, and have a color contrasting with your skin tone.
Add cool accessories like tattoos, bracelets, watches, and other interesting things to accelerate your style.
Once you’ve done these things, you’re set.
If you present yourself well to the world and are on your mission, women will naturally respond.
Take pride in your appearance and put your best foot forward. It will make a world of difference.

提高你的形象:
尽管人们想告诉你外表并不重要,但他们却很看重外表。
当然,仍然有很多长得不帅的人在与模特约会。但是,对于这些男人来说,要想在约会中获得成功要比帅哥难得多。
这就是事实。
幸运的是,你的外表是可以改善的。
第一步,也是最重要的一步,就是塑造一个完美的体型。
你的体脂越低,你的脸就越有轮廓,你的身材看起来就越好。
如果可能的话,我建议你将体脂降低到 8%-9%(让你的身体有一些坚实的肌肉)。
此外,你可以通过遵循皮肤和牙科的治疗方案,最大限度地提高您的容貌,并确保您在30多岁和 40多岁的时候还能看起来很年轻,很健康。
身材方面的问题都解决了,你就需要考虑穿搭了。
这并不意味着你需要穿西装或买一大堆和你格格不入的衣服。
相反,只需要确保您购买的衣服非常合身,没有褶皱,并且颜色与您的肤色形成鲜明对比就可以了。
你还可以佩戴一些酷炫的配饰,如纹身、手镯、手表和其他有趣的东西,以突出您的风格。
一旦你做完了这些事情,就说明你已经准备好了。
如果你向这个世界很好的展示了自己,并且坚持做好自己的事,那么女性自然会对你做出回应。
你要对自己的外表感到自豪,并以最好的姿态示人。这将使世界变得不同。

4. Speak Your Truth
Women are attracted to honest men.
Period.
And there are few things that attract a woman more than a man who unapologetically speaks his truth ESPECIALLY when he knows that she won’t like it.
I know plenty of guys who are afraid to disagree with women or make comments they may find offensive.
Screw that!
Some of the most amazing encounters I ever had actually happened because I was the only guy who was willing to call a girl out on an opinion she had and challenge her.
It builds tension and increases her respect for you.
Don’t be afraid to speak your truth and be honest.
Even if a woman disagrees with you, she’ll respect you for being man enough to step up and be honest.

说出你的真实想法:
女人会被诚实的男人所吸引。
没有什么比一个勇于说出自己真实想法的男人更能吸引女人的了,特别是当他知道这个女人不喜欢他的时候。
我知道有很多男人害怕与女性意见不一致,害怕发表的言论可能会让她们反感,从而不敢说出自己的真实想法。
千万不要这么想!
在我所遇到过的最令人惊奇的事情中,我是唯一一个愿意对一个女孩的观点提出异议并挑战她的人。
这并没有让这个女性开始对我反感,相反,它营造了一种紧张的氛围,反而增加了她对我的尊重。
不要害怕说出你的真实想法,要诚实。
即使一个女人不同意你的观点,她也会尊重你,因为你是一个足够勇敢和诚实的男人。

5. Practice, Practice, Practice
Plain and simple.
Getting better at the dating game requires practice and a willingness to fail.
You are GOING to get rejected.
You are GOING to be broken up with.
You are GOING to look like a fool and feel like an idiot.
It’s ok.
If you learn from your mistakes and continue to get better, you WILL succeed and find the woman of your dreams.

练习,练习,再练习:
做事情要干净利落。
要想在约会中表现得更好,你就需要不断的练习以及不害怕失败。
你可能会被拒绝。
你可能会被甩。
你可能会看起来像个傻瓜,你可能会感觉自己像个白痴。
但是没关系。
只要你从错误中吸取了教训并继续变得更好,你就会成功,总有一天你会找到你梦寐以求的女人。

Sarah Lynn Johnson, Dated several people before I found my husband.
Imagine the type of girl that you want to be with. Imagine your dream girl. Don’t picture what she looks like, picture what she’s like on the inside.
What are her goals?
Is education important to her?
Is a family important to her?
Is a career important to her?
When does she want to settle down? Does she want to settle down?
Does she want kids? How many?
Does she want a nice house in the suburbs?
Does she want a little beach bungalow?
Does she want an upscale flat in the center of downtown?
Does she dream of varied experiences and travel and adventure?
Does she dream of wealth and luxury and the finer things?

想象一下你想和什么样的女孩在一起。想象一下你的梦中情人。但不要只想象她的样子,要想象她的内在。
她的目标是什么?
学历对她重要吗?
家庭对她重要吗?
事业对她重要吗?
她想什么时候安定下来?她想安定下来吗?
她想要孩子吗?想要几个?
她想要郊区的好房子吗?
她想要一间海滨小屋吗?
她想要一套市中心的高档公寓吗?
她是否梦想着有各种各样的经历、旅行和冒险?
她是否想要财富、奢侈和更美好的事物?

Does she dream of a quiet life that’s safe and secure, with as few unexpected surprises as possible?
Does she dream of closeness and togetherness, and holidays spent with all the extended family, and a home filled with friends, family, and laughter.
What are her values?
Is she more old fashioned, or more modern?
Is she more liberal or more conservative?
Does she value honesty and integrity?
Does she value hard work and self reliance?
Does she value individual thought and uniqueness, or does she place a preference on conformity and fitting in?
Does she value openness and expressing feelings, or does she feel that people she remain reserved and hold back certain things out of politeness?
Is she politically active?
Is she religiously active?
How does she treat people who are socially inferior?
How important are good manners to her?

她是否梦想着过一种安全而有保障的平静生活,尽可能的不出意外?
她是否梦想着拥有一个充满朋友、家人和欢声笑语的家,是否梦想着和整个大家庭团聚在一起,亲密无间的度过一个美好的假期?
她的价值观是什么?
她是老式思想,还是现代思想?
她是更开明还是更保守?
她重视诚实和正直吗?
她重视努力工作和自力更生吗?
她是更看重个人的思想和独特性,还是偏向于从众和合群?
她是更看重坦诚以及踊跃的表达自己的感情,还是觉得出于礼貌,对人有所保留?
她在政治上活跃吗?
她信仰宗教吗?
她如何对待社会地位低下的人?
礼貌对她来说有多重要?

Does she refrain from any activities because she believes they are immoral? (Premarital sex, drinking, drugs, gambling, eating meat, getting a tattoo, cursing, owning a gun, etc.)
What is her lifestyle?
Is she up for lots of travel? Does she crave adventure?
Is she a hard worker?
Does she take risks or is she risk adverse?
Does she enjoy a good philosophical discussion? Or is she more concerned with practical things?
Is she the type of person who needs to be taken care of? Is she the type of person who takes care of others?
Is she a member of a particular religion?
Does she have pets or want to have pets?
Is health and fitness important to her? Is that a big part of her lifestyle?
Is she a vegetarian? Does she bake cookies?

她是否因为一些行为不道德而不去做? (比如婚前性行为、饮酒、吸毒、赌博、吃肉、纹身、诅咒、拥有枪支等)
她的生活方式是什么?
她准备经常旅行吗?她渴望冒险吗?
她是一个勤奋的人吗?
她是愿意冒险还是不愿意冒险?
她喜欢进行良好的哲学讨论吗?还是她更关心实际的东西?
她是那种需要被照顾的人吗?她是那种会照顾别人的人吗?
她是某个特定宗教的成员吗?
她有宠物还是想养宠物?
健康和健身对她重要吗?这是她生活的重要组成部分吗?
她是素食主义者吗?她会烤饼干吗?

Does she enjoy going to BDSM sex clubs? Does she think that the mere thought of such a thing is morally repugnant?
What aspects are most important to you? What would you be willing to give up? What are you willing to compromise on as long as everything else is met?
Maybe you’re hoping that your future partner is a good cook, is that something you want, or is that something you need?
Maybe you’re hoping that your future partner is very clean and tidy, is that something you want, or is that something you need?
Maybe you’re hoping that your future partner is ok with a polyamorous lifestyle, is that something you want, or is that something you need?

她喜欢去 BDSM 性爱俱乐部吗?她是否认为仅仅想到这样的事情就已经令人作呕了吗?
哪些方面对您来说是最重要的?你愿意放弃什么?只要满足了其他一切条件,你愿意妥协什么?
也许你希望你未来的伴侣是个好厨师,这是你想要的,还是你需要的?
也许你希望你未来的伴侣非常干净整洁,这是你想要的,还是你需要的?
也许你希望你未来的伴侣能接受多角恋的生活方式,这是你想要的,还是你需要的?

Don’t worry so much about superficial things. Try to avoid thinking about her looks to much, although you’ll want her to be someone that you are physically attracted to. Also, don’t worry too much about having similar interests. While it’s great if you guys have some things in common and some hobbies that you share, it’s much more important that you share compatible lifestyles, values, and goals, than compatible tastes in movies and music.
Once you’ve really gotten an idea of what your dream women is like, and you’ve uated what is important to you, what things you need, and what you’re ok with compromising on, it’s time to go and find her.
Think about where such a woman would be. If education is important to her, she’ll likely be at a university or some other place of learning. If she’s up for fun and adventure, then go on fun adventures and try to meet fellow adventurers. If she’s ad avid church-goer than attend churches and bible studies and try to meet people that way, or ask them to introduce you to a friend. Think about your dream girl and where she can be found. Then go there and make friends and meet people. Hopefully you’ll find her there.
It’s not enough to just find your dream girl, you also have to win her over. Think about the type of girl that you want to be with. What is important to her? Does she value honesty and integrity? Does she want an adventurous guy or one with a stable and steady job? If you’re looking for a future housewife, then she’s going to want a man who can support her and their future children. If you’re looking for a career woman, then she’s going to want someone who will be a supportive partner. Be the kind of man that your dream girl would want. Don’t lie, don’t pretend. Be yourself, but be the best version of yourself that you can. If you need to improve your communication skills, then do that. If you need to organize your life a little, then do that. If you need to build up your confidence, do it. But don’t wait until you’re perfect. You’ll never be perfect. And if the girl that you’re dreaming of, wants you to change who you are fundamentally in order to be with her, then it’s not the right girl for you. You shouldn’t need to change who you are in order to be with someone.

不要太在意表面的东西。尽量避免过多的考虑她的外表,尽管你希望她是一个在身体上能吸引你的人。另外,不要太担心有没有相似的兴趣爱好。如果你们有一些共同点和一些共同的爱好,这当然很好,但是你们是否有共同的生活方式、价值观和目标,这比在电影和音乐上有共同的品味更重要。
一旦你真正了解了你的梦中情人是什么样的人,并且你已经评估了对你来说什么是重要的,明白了你需要什么,以及你可以妥协什么,那这个时候你就可以去找她了。
你可以好好想想这样的女人会在哪里。如果教育对她很重要,那她很可能会在大学或其他地方学习。如果她喜欢玩乐和冒险,那就去好玩的地方找她,并试着认识一些其他的冒险家。如果她热衷于去教堂,那就试着通过这种方式去认识别人,或者让他们给你介绍一个朋友。想想你的梦中情人以及在哪里可以找到她。然后就去那里结交朋友,认识新朋友。希望你能在那里找到她。
仅仅找到你的梦中情人是不够的,你还必须赢得她的芳心。想想你想和什么样的女孩在一起。什么对她来说是重要的?她看重诚实和正直吗?她想要一个喜欢冒险的男人还是一个有稳定工作的男人?如果你想找的是一个未来的家庭主妇,那么她会想找一个能养活她和他们未来孩子的男人。如果你想找一个职业女性,那么她会想要一个可以支持她的伴侣。所以你要成为你梦中情人想要的那种男人。不要说谎,不要假装你就是那种人。做你自己,但尽可能做最好的自己。如果你需要提高你的沟通技巧,那就去做吧。如果你需要好好的安排一下你的生活,那就去做吧。如果你需要建立你的自信心,那就去做吧。但不要等到你变得完美才开始做,你永远都不会完美。如果你梦寐以求的那个女孩,想要你为了和她在一起,而改变你自己,那么这个女孩就不适合你。你不应该为了和某个人在一起就改变你自己。

收藏译文