孤独
2021-09-04 大宝贝 7778
正文翻译

Loneliness

孤独

原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


评论翻译
But over the last few decades,this occasional feeling has become chronic for millions.In the UK, 60% of 18 to 34 year old say they often feel lonely.In the US, 46% of the entire population feel lonely regularly.We are living in the most connected time in human history,and yet, an unprecedented number of us feel isolated.

​但是在过去的几十年里,这种偶而出现的感觉已经成为数百万人的慢性疾病。在英国,60%的18至34岁的人说他们经常感到孤独。在美国,46%的人经常感到孤独。我们生活在人类历史上联系最紧密的时代,然而,感到孤独的人却前所未有地多。

Being lonely and being alone are not the same thing.You can be filled by bliss by yourself, and hate every second surrounded by friends.Loneliness is a purely subjective, individual experience.If you feel lonely,you are lonely.

孤独和独处不是一回事。独处是你可以被自己的幸福填满,讨厌被朋友包围的每一秒。而孤独是一种纯粹主观的、个人的体验,如果你感到孤独,你就是孤独的。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


A common stereotype is that loneliness only happens to people who don't know how to talk to people,or how to behave around others.But population-based studies have shown that social skills make practically no difference for adults when it comes to social connections.Loneliness can affect everybody.

一个普遍的刻板印象是,孤独只会发生在那些不知道如何与人交谈或如何与他人相处的人身上。但基于人口的研究表明,在社交关系方面,社交技能对成年人几乎没有影响 ,孤独会影响每个人。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Money, fame,power, beauty,social skills, a great personality—nothing can protect you against loneliness,because it's part of your biology.Loneliness is a bodily function, like hunger.Hunger make you pay attention to your physical needs;loneliness makes you pay attention to your social needs.

金钱、名誉、权力、美貌、社交技巧、好的性格——没有什么能保护你免受孤独,因为它是你生理的一部分。孤独是一种身体机能,就像饥饿一样。饥饿使你关注你的身体需求;孤独使你关注你的社交需求。

Your body cares about your social needs,because millions of years ago,it was a great indicator of how likely you were to survive.Natural sextion rewarded our ancestors for collaboration,and for forming connections with each other.Our brains grew and became more and more fine-tuned to recognize what others thought and felt, and to form and sustain social bonds.

你的身体在乎你的社交需求,因为数百万年前,社交是你生存可能性的显著指标。自然选择由于祖先们的合作以及相互建立联系而给予他们奖励。我们的大脑成长并在识别他人的想法和感受中变得越来越细微,然后形成和维持了社会纽带。

Being social became part of our biology。You were born into groups of 50 to 150 people,which you usually stayed with for the rest of your life.Getting enough calories, staying safe and warm,or caring for offspring was practically impossible alone.Being together meant survival,being alone meant death.

社交成为我们生理的一部分。你出生在有着50 到 150 人的群体中,通常你的余生都会和他们在一起。摄入足够的卡路里,保持安全和温暖,或者说独自照顾后代几乎是不可能的。在一起意味着生存,孤独意味着死亡。

So it was crucial that you got along with others.For you ancestors, the most dangerous threat to survival was not being eaten by a lion,but not getting the social vibe of your group and being excluded.To avoid that, your body came up with "social pain".

所以和别人相处很重要。对你们祖先来说,生存的最大威胁不是被狮子吃掉,而是没有感受到你们群体的社会氛围并且被排斥。为了避免这种情况,你的身体出现了“社会性疼痛”。

Pain of this kind is is an evolutionary adaptation to rejection.A sort of early warning system to make sure you stop behaviour that would isolate you.Your ancestors who experienced rejection as more painful were more likely to change their behaviour when they got rejected,and thus stayed in the tribe, while those who did not got kicked out and most likely died.

这种疼痛是对拒绝的进化适应。它是一种预警系统,可确保你停止孤立自己的行为。当你的祖先被拒绝时,那些经历了更痛苦拒绝的人更有可能改变他们的行为,从而留在部落中,而那些没有被踢出去的人更有可能会死亡。

That's why rejections hurt,and even more so, why loneliness is so painful.These mechanisms for keeping us connected worked great for most of our history,until humans began building a new world for themselves

这就是为什们拒绝会让人受伤,更重要的是,这也是为什么孤独会如此痛苦。这些让我们保持联系的机制在我们历史的大部分时间里都发挥了重要作用,直到人类开始为自己建立一个新世界

The loneliness epidemic we see today really only started in the late Renaissance.Western culture began to focus on the individual.Intellectuals moved away from the collectivism of the Middle Ages,while the young Protestant theology stressed individual responsibility.This trend accelerated during the Industrial Revolution.People left their villages and fields to enter factories.Communities that had existed for hundreds of years began to dissolve,while cities grew.

我们今天看到的孤独流行病真正开始于文艺复兴后期。西方文化开始关注个人。知识分子远离了中世纪的集体主义,而年轻的新教神学强调个人责任。这种趋势在工业革命期间加速。人们离开他们的村庄和田地进入工厂。存在数百年的社区开始瓦解,而城市则在发展。

As our world rapidly became modern,this trend sped up more and more.Today, we move vast distances for new jobs,love, and education,and leave our social net behind.We meet fewer people in person,and we meet them less often than in the past.

随着我们的世界迅速变得现代化,这种趋势越来越快。今天,我们为了新的工作、爱情和教育而远走他乡,把我们的社交网络抛在脑后。我们亲自见面的人越来越少,见面的次数与过去相比也越来越低。

Most people stumble into chronic loneliness by accident.You reach adulthood and become busy with work,university,romance, kids,and Netflix.There's just not enough time.The most convenient and easy thing to sacrifice is time with friends.Until you wake up one day and you realise that you feel isolated,that you yearn for close relationships.But it's hard to find close relationships as adults,and so, loneliness can become chronic.

大多数人无意中陷入长期孤独。你成年后会忙于工作、大学、爱情、孩子和网飞。仅仅是没有足够的时间。最方便也最容易牺牲的就是和朋友在一起的时间。直到有一天你醒来,你意识到你感受到了孤独,你渴望亲密的关系。但是成年后很难找到亲密的关系,因此,孤独会变成长期的。

While humans feel pretty great about things like iPhones and spaceships,our bodies and minds are fundamentally the same they were 50,000 years ago。We are still biologically fine-tuned to being with each other.large scale studies have shown that the stress that comes from chronic loneliness is among the most unhealthy things we can experience as humans。

虽然人类对 iPhone 和宇宙飞船之类的东西感觉很好,但我们的身体和意识从根本上与 50,000 年前是一样的。 我们仍然在生物学上适应彼此的相处。大规模研究表明,长期孤独带来的压力是人类所能经历的最不健康的事情之一。

it makes you age quicker ,it makes cancer deadlier,Alzheimer's advance faster,your immune systems weaker,loneliness is twice as deadly as obesity and as deadly as smoking a pack of ciggarettes a day。the most dangerous thing about it is that once it becomes chronic it can become self sustaining physical and social pain ,use common mechanisms in your brain both feel like a threat and so social pain leads to immediate and defensive behaviour

它使你衰老得更快,使癌症更致命,使阿尔茨海默病的发展更快,使你的免疫系统更弱,孤独的致命性是肥胖和每天抽一包烟致命性的两倍。 最危险的是,一旦它变成慢性疾病,它可以成为自我维持的身体和社交痛苦,大脑使用常见的机制都感觉像是一种威胁,因此社交痛苦会导致直接和防御性行为

when it's inflicted on you,when loneliness becomes chronic,your brain goes into self preservation mode,it starts to see danger and hostility everywhere,but that's not all .some studies found that when you're lonely your brain is much more receptive and alx to social signals,while at the same time it gets worse at interpreting them correctly .you pay more attention to others but you understand them less, the part of you brain that recognises faces get out of tune and becomes more likely to categorise neutral faces as hostile

当孤独出现在你身上时,当孤独变成慢性时,你的大脑进入自我保护模式,它开始看到危险和敌意无处不在,但这还不是全部。一些研究发现,当你感到孤独时,你的大脑更容易感受和警觉社交信号,而与此同时,正确解读的能力也变得越来越差。你会对别人有更多的关注,但对他们的理解却更少,你大脑中识别面孔的部分会失调,更有可能将中性面孔归类为敌对面孔

which makes it distrustful of others,loneliness make you assume the worst about others intentions towards you,because of this perceived hostile world,you can become more self-centred to protect yourself which can make you appear more cold unfriendly and socially awkward than you really are,if loneliness has become a strong presence in your life,the first thing you can do is to try to recognise vicious cycle you may be trapped in

这使你的大脑不信任他人,孤独会让你认为别人对你的意图是最坏的,因为这个充满敌意的世界,你会变得更加以自我为中心来保护自己,这会让你表现得比真实的你更冷漠,不友好和不善社交 ,如果孤独已经成为你生活中的一种强烈存在,你能做的第一件事就是试着认识到你可能陷入的恶性循环

it usually goes something like this,an initial feeling of isolation leads to feelings of tension and sadness which makes you focus you attention sextively on negative interactions with others ,this makes your thoughts about yourself and others more negative which then changes your behaviour

它通常是这样的,最初的孤独感会导致紧张和悲伤的感觉,这让你有选择地将注意力集中在与他人的消极互动上,这会让你对自己和他人的想法更加消极,进而改变你的行为

you begin to avoid social interaction which leads to more feelings of isolation,this cycle becomes more severe and harder to escape each time.loneliness make you sit far away from others in class,not answer the phone when friends call,decline invitations until the invitations stop,each and every one of us has a story about ourselves and if your story becomes that people exclude you ,others pick up on that and so the outside world can become the way you feel about it

你开始避免社交互动,这会导致更多的孤独感,每一次的这种循环都变得更加严重和难以摆脱。 孤独让你在课堂上远离他人而坐,朋友来电时不接电话,拒绝邀请直到邀请停止,我们每个人都有一个关于自己的故事,如果你的故事变成人们排斥你,其他人就会感受到这一点,这样的话外面世界就会变成你对它的感觉

this is often a slow creeping process that takes years and can end in depression,and a mental state that can prevent connections even if you yearn for them.the first thing you can do to escape it is to accept that loneliness is a totally normal feeling and nothing to be ashamed of.

这通常是一个缓慢发生的过程,需要数年时间并可能以抑郁告终,这种精神状态会阻止你和他人联系,即使你很渴望。你可以摆脱它的第一件事就是接受孤独是一种完全正常的感觉并且没有什么可羞耻的。

literally everybody feels lonely at some point in their life ,its a universal human experience,you can't eliminate or ignore a feeling until it goes away magically but you can accept that

从字面上看,每个人都会在他们生命中的某个时刻感到孤独,这是一种普遍的人类经历,你无法消除或忽视这种感觉,直到它神奇地消失,但你可以接受这一点

you can self examine what you focus your attention on and check if you are sextively focusing on negative things ,was this interaction with a colleague rarely negative or was it really mutual or even positive ,what was the actual content of an interaction?what did the other person say? did they say something bad or did you add extra meaning to their words

你可以自我检查你关注的焦点,并检查你是否有选择地关注消极的事情,与同事的这种互动很少是消极的,还是真的是相互的,甚至是积极的,互动的实际内容是什么?对方说了什么?他们是说了什么不好的话,还是你给他们的话增加了额外的意义

maybe another person was not really reacting negatively but just short on time ,then there are your thoughts about the world ,are you assuming the worst about others intentions,do you enter a social situation and have already decided how it will go? do you assume others don't want you around?are you trying to avoid being hurt and not risking opening up and if so can you try to give others the benefit of the doubt can you just assume that they're not against you

也许另一个人并没有真正做出消极反应,只是时间不够,那么就有了你对这个世界的看法,你是否对他人的意图做出了最坏的假设,你是否进入了一个社交场合并已经决定了它将如何发展? 你是否假设其他人不希望你在身边?你是否在努力避免受到伤害而不是冒险敞开心扉?如果是这样,你是否可以尝试让别人从怀疑中受益?也可以假设他们并不反对你吗?

can you risk being open and vulnerable again?and lastly your behaviour,are you avoiding opportunities to be around others,are you looking of oppertunites to decline invitations or are you pushing away others preemptively to protect yourself,are you acting as if you are getting attacked,are you really looking for new connections or have you become complacent with your situation,of course every person in each situation is unique and different and just in introspection alone might not be enough

你会不会再次变得开朗和脆弱?最后一点,你的行为,你是否在回避与他人相处的机会,你是否在寻找机会拒绝邀请,或者你是否在先发制人地推开他人以保护自己,你是否表现得好像受到了攻击,你是否真的在寻找新的关系,或者你是否对自己的处境感到满意,当然,每个人在每种处境下都是独一无二的、特别的,仅仅内省是不够的
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


if you feel unable to solve your situation alone by yourself,please try to reach out and get professional help.its not a sign of weakness but of courage,however we look at loneliness as a purely individual problem that needs solving to create happiness or as a public health crisis.it is something that deserves more attention .humans have build a world that is nothing short of amazing and yet not of the shiny things we have made is able to satisfy or substitute.

如果你觉得自己无法独自解决问题,请尝试寻求专业的帮助。这不是软弱的表现,而是勇敢,我们将孤独视为一个纯粹的个人问题,需要解决才能创造幸福,或作为 一场公共健康危机,这是值得有更多关注的事情。人类已经建立了一个令人惊叹的世界 ,然而我们制作的闪亮的东西中没有一个能够满足或替代。

our fundamental and biological need for connection,most animals get what they need from their physical sourroundings,we get what we need from each other and we need to build our artificial human world.based on that,lets try something together lets reach out to someone today

我们对联系有基本的和生理的需求,大多数动物从现实的环境中得到它们需要的东西,我们从彼此那里得到我们需要的东西,我们需要建立我们的人工世界。基于此,让我们一起尝试一些东西,做到今天出去接触一些人。

regardless if you feel a little bit lonely or want to make someone else day better,maybe write a friend you haven't spoken to in a while, call a family member who has become estranged, invite a work buddy for a coffee or just go to something you are usually to afraid to go to or too lazy to go to like go to a sports club

不管你是否感到有点孤独或想让别人过得更好,也许给你有一段时间没有联系过的朋友写信,给一个疏远的家人打电话,邀请一个工作伙伴喝杯咖啡或者只是出去做些你通常害怕去做或懒得去做的事情,像去一个运动俱乐部

everybody is different so you know whats good for you,maybe nothing will come of it and that's okay,don't do this with any expectations,the goal is just to open up a bit,to exercise your connection muscles so that they can grow stronger over time or to help others exercise them。

每个人都是不同的,所以你知道什么对你有好处,也许不会有什么结果,没关系,不要抱有任何期望,目标只是放开一点,锻炼你与别人联系的肌肉,这样它们随着时间的推移成长得更强大或者只是帮助其他人去锻炼它们。

"I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone."

“我曾经认为人生最糟糕的事情就是孤独终老。不是的。生命中最糟糕的事情就是和那些让你感到孤独的人在一起。”

This video kind of made me realize that loneliness is part of the reason I overshare so much. I lack social interaction so much that when I finally get it I overshare like crazy and scare off new people.

这段视频让我意识到孤独是我过度分享的部分原因。我非常缺乏社交互动,以至于当我最终得到它时,我会疯狂地分享,然后会吓跑新朋友。

The worst part of loneliness is when you watch a movie and want to share your opinion with someone but you have nobody and you end up talking to yourself

孤独最糟糕的部分是当你看了一部电影,想和某人分享你的观点,但却没有人,最终你只能自言自语

At this point I don’t know if I’m depressed, I have chronic anxiety or I’m just lonely…. I can’t even stay alone at home anymore and I was alone almost my whole life

此时我不知道自己是否是抑郁了,我有长期焦虑或者仅仅是孤独。我甚至不能一个人呆在家里,我几乎一辈子都是一个人

The sad part is when I encounter with people, they make me feel even more lonely

可悲的是,当我遇到别人时,他们让我感到更加孤独

Honestly, since the pandemic started, I feel like I'm slowly transforming into an introvert. Not like it's a really bad thing, but I used to be an extrovert and I enjoy people's company.

老实说,自从大流行病以来,我觉得自己正在慢慢转变成一个内向的人。不是说这真的是一件坏事,但我曾经是一个外向的人,我喜欢人们的陪伴。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


I think the reason I have such a hard time talking to people is that I just don't really understand them ,bcause my outlook and ideals almost never match up, and I have such a cynical view of this world that I just immediately assume the worst of someone if even the slightest negative thing happens.

我认为我很难与人交谈的原因是不能真正理解他们,因为我的观点和理想几乎永远不会匹配,我对这个世界有一种愤世嫉俗的看法,以至于如果有最轻微的负面事情发生,我都会立即对某人做出最坏的假设。

It's like the video said, it's a spiral of really wanting to talk/be with someone, but you just either can't even attempt because you feel like you know how it's gonna end, or once it's over you assume the worst and start reducing/cutting contact.

就像视频里说的,这是一个真正想和某人交谈或在一起的螺旋,你要么甚至不敢去尝试,因为你觉得你知道它会如何结束,要么一旦结束,你就做最坏的打算,开始减少或切断联系。

"I think my biggest problem is that I love being alone but I hate being lonely."

“我认为我最大的问题是,我喜欢独处,但我讨厌孤独。”

I've watched this video several times during this year, and it brings me comfort knowing that loneliness is part of who we are and that there are ways to overcome it.

在这一年里,我看了好几次这段视频,知道孤独是我们的一部分,知道有办法克服它,这让我感到安慰。

I'm at the point where I'm so lonely that I spend a majority of my days fantasizing about my ideal friendships and romantic partner.

我正处于如此孤独的时刻,以至于我大部分时间都在幻想我理想中的友谊和浪漫的伴侣。

The part about our brain evolving towards the social pain was really interesting. I never saw it as an evolutionary reason. That's so cool

我们大脑向社会性痛苦进化的那部分真的很有趣。我从没把它视为进化的原因。太酷了

That's why I'm always nice and helpful to strangers. You never know if you're their match to light up their inner fire (again). You might be giving them hope in their darkest hours. Or even just a smile on a bad day. We all need these moments.

这就是为什么我对陌生人总是很好,乐于助人。你永远不知道是否你是点燃他们内心火焰的人,你可能在他们最黑暗的时刻给了他们希望,甚至在糟糕的一天只是一个微笑,我们都需要这些时刻。

I can't thank you enough for this video. I have fighting these days with my feelings and this helped me a lot

对于这个视频,我感激不尽。这些天我一直在和自己的情感做斗争,这对我帮助很大

This really hit home. Nearly had a breakdown at work the other day when I realized I no longer speak with my old social circles and how lonely I suddenly felt at the realization

这确实直击要害。前几天我差点在工作中崩溃,当我意识到我不再和以前的社交圈说话时,那一刻我突然感到多么地孤独

This was both enlightening and depressing to watch, like staring into a mirror and not being able to see myself looking back...

这看起来既有启发性又令人沮丧,就像盯着镜子看,却看不到自己回头...
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Hey since we all feel lonely, I want you to know through reading this, even though chances are I dont know you, that we are together in being lonely and I know you can make it through this

嘿,既然我们都感到孤独,我想让你通过阅读这篇文章知道,即使我可能不认识你,我们于孤独中在一起,我知道你能熬过这一切

The worst loneliness isn't being alone, it's being alone surrounded by the people who don't care.

最糟糕的孤独不是一个人,而是一个人被不在乎你的人包围。

I remember watching this when it first came out. So much shit has happened since then, but at the same time, I’m still here – I haven’t lost to the world yet. That makes me feel proud

我记得视频刚出来的时候就看过这个。从那以后发生了很多糟糕的事情,但与此同时,我还在这里—我还没有输给这个世界。这让我感到自豪

I'm surprised by how many people are in the same boat as me. I've felt lonely for years now, and what made me feel lonelier was that I thought I was alone in my loneliness. We can all come back from this guys. 1 year from now, I'll look back on myself and say that version of me is of the past, and I wish everyone else the best in overcoming it.

我很惊讶有这么多人和我在同一条船上。我现在已经感到孤独很多年了,让我感到更孤独的是,我认为在我的孤独中我是孤独的。我们都可以从孤独那里回来。1年后,我会回顾自己,说那个版本的我已经成为过去,我希望其他人都能很好地克服它。

The worst thing is going from feeling extremely lonely, to extremely fulfilled, then lonely again

最糟糕的事情是从感到极度孤独,到极度满足,再到再次孤独

As someone addicted to loneliness for too long, I feel perfectly fine when ignored. The problems come when I try to open up step by step, as said in the video. I can't just suddenly change, so the interaction I give is still very little. Normal people cannot understand that, it pissed them off. So the result of my effort is just hurting people I care about, and make them want to push me away, like before.

作为一个陷入孤独太久的人,被忽视的时候我感觉完全没问题。问题出现在我尝试一步一步打开心扉的时候,就像视频里说的那样。我不能是突然地改变,因此我给出的互动还是很少,正常人无法理解,这让他们很生气。所以我努力的结果只是伤害了我在乎的人,让他们想把我推开,就像以前一样。

I have been a lonely person since school, I've always been the one that no one cares about but I cared about others, and I got to the point loneliness it's not a problem anymore, it is part of my essence.

我从上学开始就是一个孤独的人,我一直是那个没人关心但我会关心别人的人,我到了那种孤独不再是问题的地步,它是我本质的一部分。

A few years I started working on always accepting invitations from friends for socializing or to help them, unless I truly wasn't able to. I never made the connection that decision could have played a factor in the improvement of my mental health

几年后,我开始努力接受朋友的社交邀请或帮助他们,除非我真的做不到。我从来没有想过建立与他人联系的决定会对我的心理健康有所改善

I know that I will be lonely my whole life. I'm in the middle of high school right now. It's a tough school, and my parents want me to achieve high and do well academically. I don't have a problem with that. But my problem is that it's so hard to make friends.

我知道我会孤独一生。我现在正在读高中,这是一所管理严格的学校,我的父母希望我取得好成绩,学业优秀。我对此没意见。但我的问题是交朋友太难了。

Being in school literally throws you into a building with 100+ people that are your age and probably have very similar interests. But I still can't make friends. And that is why I'm worried about when I become an adult, where it will be even harder to make friends.

在学校里,你会被扔进一栋有100多人的大楼,这些人和你同龄,可能有非常相似的兴趣。但是我还是交不到朋友。这就是为什么我担心当我成年后,交朋友会变得更加困难。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


I didn't realize a lot of people could relate to this. so to everyone, please never lose hope. happiness may seem very distant, but it will come to you someday. you are a beautiful soul and you deserve it

我没意识到很多人会对此感兴趣。所以对每个人,请永远不要失去希望。幸福看起来很遥远,但总有一天会降临到你身上。你是一个美丽的灵魂,你值得拥有它

If you take a broad view from where you go through this all, and in the end it make sense ,because this was needed to be part of life and you've learned a lot of things from it, hope you bounce back stronger!!

如果你从一个广阔的视角来看待你所经历的这一切,最终这是有意义的,因为这是生活的一部分,你从中学到了很多东西,希望你能更坚强地恢复!!

01) in a friend get together all of your friends talking about a massive story they only experienced which you never heard of, all you can do is smile when they laugh and listen like you are not a part of the crew.
02) When your school teacher say "pick up a friend and do this assignment" and you see all your friends has already taken a partner and nobody in your class approach to you and say " can you be my partner". All you can do is approach someone and ask to be your partner with an idle student.
03) When nobody wishes you or surprise you on your birthday.
04) When you see an empty desk right next to your friend and when you try to sit your friend say "this table is reserved to that guy"
05) When all of your friends sits on the dinner table and there is no enough chairs so you need to sit on a different table alone.

01)在朋友聚会中,你所有的朋友都在谈论一个只有他们经历过的、而你从未听说过的宏大故事,你所能做的就是在他们笑的时候微笑并且听着,就像你不是聚会中的一员一样。
02)当你的学校老师说“选择一个朋友一起做这个作业”,你看到所有你的朋友都已经选择了一个伙伴,而你班上没有人走近你说“你能做我的伙伴吗”。你所能做的就是接近某人,要求一个没人选择的学生成为搭档。
03)当没有人祝你生日快乐或给你惊喜的时候。
04)当你看到你的朋友旁边有一张空桌子,当你试着坐下时,你的朋友说“这张桌子是留给那个人的”
05)当你所有的朋友都坐在餐桌上,没有足够的椅子,所以你需要独自坐在不同的桌子上。

Thank you for this video. I didn't have anyone I felt like I could trust when I was young. I think it fundamentally came from my parents who were always happy to criticize and make me feel bad, just so they didn't feel quite so bad about themselves. That mistrust of people in general carried through into adulthood, I was unable to open myself to people which led to loneliness and the stress that comes with it.

谢谢你的这个视频。我年轻时没有一个我觉得可以信任的人。我认为这从根本上来自我的父母,他们总是乐意批评我,让我感到难过,只是为了让他们不觉得自己很糟糕。对人的不信任一直延续到成年,我无法向人敞开心扉,这导致了孤独和随之而来的压力。

In recent years I have opened up more and started to take chances with people that I meet and it has been progressively getting better, though there has been a bit of back-sliding. 2 steps forward, 1 step backward.

最近几年,我变得更加开放,开始和我遇到的人一起冒险,情况越来越好,尽管有一点倒退。向前2步,向后1步。

I feel a little less lonely knowing that everyone else is also lonely.

知道别人也是孤独的,我就不那么孤独了。

I am constantly isolating myself at every chance and mostly alone unless I am at work... I wish I could live completely alone except for grocery shopping or buying the necessities and never get in public or even talk to someone. I am aware this sounds edgy and like I am trying to seem cool but in all honesty, books, painting, music is all I need to feel complete.

我总是一有机会就把自己孤立起来,大多数时候都是一个人,除非我在工作……我希望我可以完全独自生活,除了去杂货店购物或买生活必需品,不再进入公共场所,甚至不和别人说话。我知道这听起来很前卫,好像我在努力看起来很酷,但说实话,书籍、绘画和音乐是我感觉完整所需要的一切。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


I am a lawyer and surrounded by people all through the day, may be the reason why. I am even good at teaching, conversation or explaining something, doesn't change the fact that I wish I won lottery and built a house isolating me from anyone and anything.

我是一名律师,整天被人包围,可能是这个原因,我擅长教学、交谈或解释一些事情,但这并不能改变我希望中了彩票后建一所房子将我与任何人和任何事隔离开来的事实。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


I'm very social and all, but yet most of the conversations and relationships are meaningless and unfulfilling. The more I surround myself around others I tend to question myself and my worth. I rather be alone than think I am not as good as the ones around me

我非常喜欢社交,但是大多数的对话和关系都没有意义,也没有成就感。我自己越是被别人周围,就越倾向于质疑自己和自己的价值。我宁愿一个人呆着,也不愿认为自己不如身边的人

The feeling of being alone is feeling empty like a void in your chest, the pain of being excluded is the worst,

一个人的感觉是空虚的,就像你胸中的空虚,被排斥的痛苦是最糟糕的,

Right now I just want to talk to someone that's all I want.

现在我只想找个人谈谈,这就是我想要的。

If anyone is reading this, here is some advise,(Family is the most important part of your life, don't waste your time on feeling lonely, because you are not alone you have us),I hope this helps for some of you

如果有人正在阅读这篇文章,这里有一些建议,(家人是你生命中最重要的部分,不要把时间浪费在感到孤独上,因为你并不孤单,你有我们),我希望这对你们中的一些人有所帮助

This video was very useful. For the last two weeks I've been feeling weird. I moved to another country 1.5 year ago, and was having some bad crisis and just really missing my relatives and friends. I got my parents, sister and 2 amazing new friends, and although I love these people, I still miss others.

这段视频非常有用。过去两周我一直感觉很奇怪。一年半之前我搬到了另一个国家,遇到了一些严重的危机,真的很想念我的亲戚和朋友。我得到了我的父母,姐姐和2个了不起的新朋友的关心,虽然我爱这些人,但我仍然想念其他人。

My cure for loneliness is riding a motorcycle. Every other motorcyclist you pass will give you the "wave" and just that simple gesture makes you feel like your part of something. Riding gives you an activity a hobby you can do by yourself or with others but it always frees your soul.

我治疗孤独的方法是骑摩托车。你经过的每一个摩托车手都会给你“挥手”,只是那个简单的手势就让你觉得自己是某件事的一部分。骑行给了你一项活动一项爱好,你可以自己或与他人一起做,它总是能解放你的灵魂。

Loneliness is when you’re surrounded by people, but don’t feel connected with them. You have hours of conversation, but still feel empty and unsatisfied. You try to speak up, but they don’t understand.

孤独是指你周围都是人,但感觉不到与他们的联系。你与他们有几个小时的谈话,但仍然感到空虚和不满足。你试着大声疾呼,但他们听不懂。

I'm the type of person who likes to cheer everybody up, but when I'm not feeling good nobody seems to care about me and that's what makes me lonely

我是那种喜欢让每个人振作起来的人,但当我感觉不舒服的时候,似乎没有人关心我,这就是让我孤独的原因

I spend roughly 85% of my time alone. I almost never feel lonely. I prefer not having to pretend to care about what others are saying or doing. Having others around to worry about just slows me down.

我大约85%的时间都是独自一人。我几乎从不感到孤独。我更喜欢不必假装关心别人在说什么或做什么。有其他人在身边操心只会让我放慢脚步。

In a society that is hyper individualistic as it is today, we are lonelier than ever. Social media swept the world under the guise of increasing connection amongst us, but in the end just made us lonelier.

在当今这个高度个人主义的社会,我们比以往任何时候都更加孤独。社交媒体以增加我们之间的联系为幌子席卷了世界,但最终只会让我们更加孤独。

Loneliness has never been a problem for me. Being a sole traveller, a merchant seaman most of my life, I enjoy and appreciate the time to sit, think observe and consider. I do not feel empty within. But do understand it can be a problem for many.

孤独对我来说从来都不是问题。作为一个独自的旅行者,一个商船船员,我很享受和感激能够坐下来,思索,观察和思考的时间。我内心并不空虚。但是我明白这对很多人来说都是个问题。

if you focus a bit you can see that the pygmalion effect is mentioned here which is basically:we have a belief about someone that belief effects our actions towards that person so those actions effects their belief about themselves so that effects their actions toward us which comes back full circle to reinforce our belief of that person

如果你稍微注意一下,你会发现这里提到了皮格马利翁效应,基本上是:我们对某人有一种信念,这种信念会影响我们对那个人的行为,所以这些行为会影响他们对自己的信念,从而影响他们对我们的行为,这种行为会反过来强化我们对那个人的信念

I like how this video not only helps to understand loneline but also identify some common root causes and what we can do about them. Without dismissing the fact that we may really need professional help. And that try as we may sometimes it may not work but we gotta keep trying for it.

我喜欢这个视频,不仅有助于理解孤独,还能找出一些常见的根本原因,以及我们可以做些什么。不否认我们可能真的需要专业帮助的事实。尽管我们可能会尝试,但有时可能不会成功,但我们必须继续努力。

The great thing is that once you learn about your emotions and needs, it becomes so easy to get from feeling of hopelessness and and of the world to happiness and joy full of hope. The mind is truly a powerful thing we humans have.

最棒的是,一旦你了解了自己的情绪和需求,就很容易从绝望和对世界的感觉中获得充满希望的幸福和快乐。大脑是我们人类拥有的真正强大的东西。
原创翻译:龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


I have social anxiety and it’s really hard for me to make new friends,or even just talk to strangers and that's why I stay at home most of the time,People often assume that I'm hostile and I don't blame them but in reality I would do anything just to experience the feeling of having friends.

我有社交焦虑,我真的很难交到新朋友,甚至很难和陌生人交谈,这就是为什么我大多数时间呆在家里,人们经常认为我是充满敌意的,我不责怪他们,但事实上,我会做任何事情来体验有朋友的感觉。

For a lot of people, pets are seen as family and especially dogs are much more obvious in their reactions to seeing their human show up.

对许多人来说,宠物被视为家人,尤其是狗,当看到人类出现时,它们的反应要明显得多。

I suppose that my loneliness is driven primarily by my stubborn opinion that I am right and no one else is. In addition, my desire to avoid conflict and the generally toxic, intolerant nature of our culture add to my desire to leave alone and be left alone.

我想我的孤独主要是因为我固执地认为我是对的,而其他人都是不对的。此外,我想避免冲突的渴望和我们文化中普遍有毒、不宽容的本质,增加了我想独处和留我独自一人的愿望。

Stay strong even if it's easier to tell it to other than to yourself.

保持坚强,即使告诉别人比告诉自己更容易。

Its surprising how millions of people are lonely at same time but cant help each other to become NOT.

令人惊讶的是,数以百万计的人同时感到孤独,却不能帮助对方变得不孤独。

Woah, I thought as I was getting older I was developing social anxiety, turns out it’s loneliness. Loneliness that has driven me though all of the things mentioned. I started to feel weird around people. Then felt like they would feel weird because I felt weird and they would get uncomfortable because of it, so I then would try to avoid interaction in order to prevent weirdness between me and others.

哇,我以为随着年龄的增长,我出现的是社交焦虑,结果发现是孤独。孤独驱使我经历了提到的所有事情。我开始觉得和人在一起很奇怪。然后觉得他们会觉得我奇怪,因为我觉得奇怪,他们会因此而不舒服,所以我会尽量避免互动,以防止我和其他人之间的奇怪。

on that topic, the video was right, i take a lot of things more aggresively. i don't trust people's words . i'm slowly having a harder and harder time picking up sarcasm/jokes.

在这个话题上,视频是正确的,我采取了很多更具攻击性的行为。我不相信别人的话。慢慢地越来越难接受讽刺或者笑话了。

I'm lonely because I have boundaries and I'd rather be alone than be with manipulators and fake people who drain my energy

我很孤独,因为我有界限感,我宁愿一个人呆着,也不愿和那些耗尽我精力的操纵者和虚伪的人在一起

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