你父母对你说过的最糟糕的话是什么(中)
正文翻译
What's the worst thing your parent has ever said to you?
你父母对你说过的最糟糕的话是什么?
What's the worst thing your parent has ever said to you?
你父母对你说过的最糟糕的话是什么?
评论翻译
Susan D Smith, BA English & Education, Virginia Tech (1987)
Susan D Smith，弗吉尼亚理工大学英语与教育学士（1987年）
Susan D Smith，弗吉尼亚理工大学英语与教育学士（1987年）
My mother called me a slut during an argument in her Ohio home on Christmas Eve 1994. I burst into tears and ran to pack my stuff to go back to Richmond, Virginia. My beloved stepfather told her that if I made it out to the highway in my car with my suitcase they’d never see me again, and he was probably right. She came upstairs and apologized and forced a hug on me. I have never forgotten it, but I have forgiven it, and believe it or not, that was not the worst thing a parent has ever said to me:
My parents divorced in 1976 when I was 11 years old, after a marriage characterized by cheating from the first year. My father married his 19-year-old fake blonde bimbo with big tatas the following year, in 1977. Yep, the bride was seven years older than the groom’s 12-year-old daughter and as dumb as a rock, but . . . she was pretty! Even 12-year-old daughter knew he was being ridiculous.
My father paid a minimal Court-ordered child support, and was entitled to visitation every other weekend and for two weeks once a year in the summer. My mother had moved us 4.5 miles from the childhood home my father now shared with his bimbo. We lived on his commute to work:
Please note that our new home with our mother was literally a loop off his commute along Route 28. Even at 12 and 13 years old, I knew that breakfast with my father could have been a daily affair if he’d left for work 30 minutes earlier. Or that he could have stopped by for a few minutes after work on his way home. He never did. And after he married his bimbo, the weekend visitations dwindled away to almost never.
1994年平安夜，我母亲在俄亥俄州的家里和我吵架时说我是荡妇。我放声大哭，跑去收拾东西回弗吉尼亚州的里士满。我深爱的继父告诉她，如果我开车带着手提箱走上高速公路，他们就再也见不到我了，他可能是对的。她上楼向我道歉，并强迫我给予拥抱。我从未忘记此事，但我已经原谅了它，信不信由你，这并不是一位家长对我说过的最糟糕的话：
1976年，我11岁的时候，父母离婚了，他们的婚姻从第一年起就充满欺骗。我父亲在第二年，即1977年，与19岁的假金发美女结婚。是的，新娘比新郎12岁的女儿大7岁，而且像石头一样笨，但是她很漂亮！即使是12岁的女儿也知道他很可笑。
我父亲只支付了法院规定的最低限度的子女抚养费，而且有权每隔一周的周末去探望孩子，每年夏天也有两个星期的探望时间。我母亲把我们搬到了离我父亲和他的情妇住的地方4.5英里的地方，我们住在他上班的路上。
请注意，我们和母亲的新家实际上是他沿28号公路上下班路程的一个环路。即使在我12岁和13岁的时候，我就知道如果我父亲提前30分钟上班的话，每天可能和他一起吃早餐。或者他可以在下班回家的路上顺便过来几分钟，他从来没有这样做过。在他和他的情妇结婚后，周末的几乎从未有探访过。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
My parents divorced in 1976 when I was 11 years old, after a marriage characterized by cheating from the first year. My father married his 19-year-old fake blonde bimbo with big tatas the following year, in 1977. Yep, the bride was seven years older than the groom’s 12-year-old daughter and as dumb as a rock, but . . . she was pretty! Even 12-year-old daughter knew he was being ridiculous.
My father paid a minimal Court-ordered child support, and was entitled to visitation every other weekend and for two weeks once a year in the summer. My mother had moved us 4.5 miles from the childhood home my father now shared with his bimbo. We lived on his commute to work:
Please note that our new home with our mother was literally a loop off his commute along Route 28. Even at 12 and 13 years old, I knew that breakfast with my father could have been a daily affair if he’d left for work 30 minutes earlier. Or that he could have stopped by for a few minutes after work on his way home. He never did. And after he married his bimbo, the weekend visitations dwindled away to almost never.
1994年平安夜，我母亲在俄亥俄州的家里和我吵架时说我是荡妇。我放声大哭，跑去收拾东西回弗吉尼亚州的里士满。我深爱的继父告诉她，如果我开车带着手提箱走上高速公路，他们就再也见不到我了，他可能是对的。她上楼向我道歉，并强迫我给予拥抱。我从未忘记此事，但我已经原谅了它，信不信由你，这并不是一位家长对我说过的最糟糕的话：
1976年，我11岁的时候，父母离婚了，他们的婚姻从第一年起就充满欺骗。我父亲在第二年，即1977年，与19岁的假金发美女结婚。是的，新娘比新郎12岁的女儿大7岁，而且像石头一样笨，但是她很漂亮！即使是12岁的女儿也知道他很可笑。
我父亲只支付了法院规定的最低限度的子女抚养费，而且有权每隔一周的周末去探望孩子，每年夏天也有两个星期的探望时间。我母亲把我们搬到了离我父亲和他的情妇住的地方4.5英里的地方，我们住在他上班的路上。
请注意，我们和母亲的新家实际上是他沿28号公路上下班路程的一个环路。即使在我12岁和13岁的时候，我就知道如果我父亲提前30分钟上班的话，每天可能和他一起吃早餐。或者他可以在下班回家的路上顺便过来几分钟，他从来没有这样做过。在他和他的情妇结婚后，周末的几乎从未有探访过。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
By the time my half-sister was born in 1981, I was 16 and 400 miles away. My father exercised his right to two weeks summer visitation because he wanted to show off the new baby to us. My mother dutifully shipped my brother and me off.
I had no experience with babies, but plenty of experience with my father’s temper, and at this point I didn’t even really know him anymore. The baby was asleep beside me on the carpet in front of the TV when out of nowhere she woke up screaming. My father came flying and I was immediately on the defensive: “I don’t know what happened, I didn’t touch her!!”
My father scooped the baby up and soothed her. When she was quiet, my father says that it’s okay, sometimes babies just wake up crying; it doesn’t mean anything. But then he went on to explain that he was very protective of this baby.
”This is my daughter. You’re *your mother’s* daughter.”
当1981年我同父异母的妹妹出生时，我已经16岁搬到到400英里远了。我父亲行使了夏季两周探视的权利，因为他想向我们展示新生婴儿。我母亲尽职尽责地把我和弟弟送走了。
我对婴儿没有经验，但对我父亲的脾气有很多经验，在这一点上我甚至不再真正了解他了。婴儿睡在我旁边的电视机前的地毯上，突然不知为什么惊醒，尖叫着。我父亲飞来后我立即采取了防御措施：“我不知道发生了什么，我没有碰她！”
我父亲把婴儿抱起来安慰她。当她安静的时候，我父亲说没关系，但他接着解释说：有时候婴儿只是哭着醒来，就是毫无理由的哭。，他非常呵护这个婴儿。
“这是我女儿，你是你母亲的女儿。”
I had no experience with babies, but plenty of experience with my father’s temper, and at this point I didn’t even really know him anymore. The baby was asleep beside me on the carpet in front of the TV when out of nowhere she woke up screaming. My father came flying and I was immediately on the defensive: “I don’t know what happened, I didn’t touch her!!”
My father scooped the baby up and soothed her. When she was quiet, my father says that it’s okay, sometimes babies just wake up crying; it doesn’t mean anything. But then he went on to explain that he was very protective of this baby.
”This is my daughter. You’re *your mother’s* daughter.”
当1981年我同父异母的妹妹出生时，我已经16岁搬到到400英里远了。我父亲行使了夏季两周探视的权利，因为他想向我们展示新生婴儿。我母亲尽职尽责地把我和弟弟送走了。
我对婴儿没有经验，但对我父亲的脾气有很多经验，在这一点上我甚至不再真正了解他了。婴儿睡在我旁边的电视机前的地毯上，突然不知为什么惊醒，尖叫着。我父亲飞来后我立即采取了防御措施：“我不知道发生了什么，我没有碰她！”
我父亲把婴儿抱起来安慰她。当她安静的时候，我父亲说没关系，但他接着解释说：有时候婴儿只是哭着醒来，就是毫无理由的哭。，他非常呵护这个婴儿。
“这是我女儿，你是你母亲的女儿。”
Something died inside me. I had already suspected my father didn’t love me. I’d heard too many times how disappointed he’d been that I, his firstborn, was not the son he wanted. He’d been distant and so angry my entire childhood that I had been half-afraid of him, and largely ignored. Any interests or talents I had had were either ignored or actively discouraged; no singing or painting lessons for me, and he couldn’t be bothered to teach me to play chess or guitar . He never got down on the floor with us to share a game or repaired a toy. My good grades were an expected given, and not deserving of praise. My best friend in elementary school and I were referred to as “the fat one and the stupid one.” (My brother’s nickname was “Hemorrhoid” which my father’s friends found hilarious.) When I announced that I was planning to be a computer science major to follow in his footsteps and become a programmer, he was flabbergasted that as a girl I would even consider that, and perhaps college was a waste of time? He wasn’t interested in stopping on his way home from work to ask about our school day or help with homework, and he wasn’t interested in seeing us per his divorce agreement, and as time had gone on, more and more planned visits were disappointingly canceled at the last minute. Now that we lived out of state, there were no visits at all, never any letters or birthday cards, and my last Christmas gift had been sent the third year after the divorce, and nothing since.
All I had ever wanted was for him to be proud of me. Now this new baby, who was “his daughter.” And apparently, I was not.
我的内心死了。我已经怀疑父亲不爱我了。我已经听过他这样说太多次了，对他是非常失望，因为我是他的长子，不是他想要的儿子。他对我的整个童年都很疏远，以至于我有点害怕他，基本上忽略了他。我的任何兴趣或天赋要么被忽视，要么被极力劝阻；我没有唱歌或绘画课，他也懒得教我下棋或弹吉他。他从来没有和我们一起在地板上玩过游戏，也没有修理过玩具。我的好成绩是意料之中的，不值得表扬。我和我小学时最好的朋友被称为“胖子和傻子”。（我哥哥的绰号是“痔疮”，我父亲的朋友们觉得很搞笑。）当我宣布我打算学计算机科学专业，追随他的脚步，成为一名程序员时，他很吃惊，作为一个女孩，我甚至会考虑这一点：也许大学是浪费时间。他不想在下班回家的路上停下来问我们上学的事或帮我们做作业，也不想按照离婚协议来看我们，随着时间的推移，越来越多的探视计划在最后一刻被令人失望地取消了。现在我们住在州外，根本没有探访，也没有任何信件或生日卡，我最后一份圣诞礼物是他在离婚后第三年寄出的，从那以后就什么也没有了。
我只想让他为我感到骄傲。现在这个新生儿是他“他的女儿”，而我显然不是。
All I had ever wanted was for him to be proud of me. Now this new baby, who was “his daughter.” And apparently, I was not.
我的内心死了。我已经怀疑父亲不爱我了。我已经听过他这样说太多次了，对他是非常失望，因为我是他的长子，不是他想要的儿子。他对我的整个童年都很疏远，以至于我有点害怕他，基本上忽略了他。我的任何兴趣或天赋要么被忽视，要么被极力劝阻；我没有唱歌或绘画课，他也懒得教我下棋或弹吉他。他从来没有和我们一起在地板上玩过游戏，也没有修理过玩具。我的好成绩是意料之中的，不值得表扬。我和我小学时最好的朋友被称为“胖子和傻子”。（我哥哥的绰号是“痔疮”，我父亲的朋友们觉得很搞笑。）当我宣布我打算学计算机科学专业，追随他的脚步，成为一名程序员时，他很吃惊，作为一个女孩，我甚至会考虑这一点：也许大学是浪费时间。他不想在下班回家的路上停下来问我们上学的事或帮我们做作业，也不想按照离婚协议来看我们，随着时间的推移，越来越多的探视计划在最后一刻被令人失望地取消了。现在我们住在州外，根本没有探访，也没有任何信件或生日卡，我最后一份圣诞礼物是他在离婚后第三年寄出的，从那以后就什么也没有了。
我只想让他为我感到骄傲。现在这个新生儿是他“他的女儿”，而我显然不是。
It was the beginning of the end. We saw him again, when he wanted to show off another new baby half-sister by the bimbo. A visit during which I saw all the toys and clothes and pampering my half-sisters got that I had never had.
Then my father announced with a lame excuse in December 1982 why he would be unable to attend my June graduation, and that he would not be sending a gift: “I have two other girls I still need to get through school.” So, yeah, the girls are still babies and you’ve got six months yet to save for a weekend road trip but you can’t afford 400 miles worth of gasoline and a $50 graduation gift for your firstborn, the first one on both sides of the family to go on to college, yeah, right, okay . . . I didn’t even get a congratulations card.
这是终结的开始。当他想炫耀另一个刚出生的同父异母妹妹的时候，我们又看到他了。在访问期间，我看到了所有的玩具和衣服，并纵容我的同父异母姐妹得到了我从未有过的
1982年12月，我的父亲用一个蹩脚的借口宣布他不能参加我6月份的毕业典礼并表示他不会送礼物：“我还有两个女孩需要完成学业（要用钱）。”尽管女孩们还是婴儿，你还有六个月的时间为周末的公路旅行存钱，但你买不起行驶400英里所需的汽油和50美元的毕业礼物给你的长子，这是家庭双方第一个上大学的孩子，我甚至祝贺卡都没有收到。
Then my father announced with a lame excuse in December 1982 why he would be unable to attend my June graduation, and that he would not be sending a gift: “I have two other girls I still need to get through school.” So, yeah, the girls are still babies and you’ve got six months yet to save for a weekend road trip but you can’t afford 400 miles worth of gasoline and a $50 graduation gift for your firstborn, the first one on both sides of the family to go on to college, yeah, right, okay . . . I didn’t even get a congratulations card.
这是终结的开始。当他想炫耀另一个刚出生的同父异母妹妹的时候，我们又看到他了。在访问期间，我看到了所有的玩具和衣服，并纵容我的同父异母姐妹得到了我从未有过的
1982年12月，我的父亲用一个蹩脚的借口宣布他不能参加我6月份的毕业典礼并表示他不会送礼物：“我还有两个女孩需要完成学业（要用钱）。”尽管女孩们还是婴儿，你还有六个月的时间为周末的公路旅行存钱，但你买不起行驶400英里所需的汽油和50美元的毕业礼物给你的长子，这是家庭双方第一个上大学的孩子，我甚至祝贺卡都没有收到。
The following February, when I turned 18, he advised my mother that he would be discontinuing the Court-ordered child support payments that were supposed to continue until my college graduation; he paid none of my college expenses. Oh yeah, and that notification to my mother wasn’t followed up with an 18th birthday card or gift for me; no acknowledgment whatsoever that I was now a legal adult, except to discontinue the child support payments my mother had been counting on to help pay my college tuition.
In July, he turned the bill for the life insurance policy purchased when I was an infant over to me, a student with no job heading off to college, so I could pay it from now on. Of course, sending me the bill was not the same as sending me the policy, which of course still had my father listed as the beneficiary; by the time I got that mess straightened out with the insurance company three years later, 18 years worth of payments and three years of unpaid premiums resulted in my receiving only enough of a cash payout upon cancellation to pay for a semester’s worth of textbooks.
In August, my heart accepted the truth: I truly wasn’t my father’s daughter anymore, if I ever was. Without anybody’s knowledge, I used my babysitting money to pay a lawyer and legally changed my name. When my mother found out, she fretted, worrying what my father would say, and I forbid her from even telling him. He couldn’t yell at her if he didn’t know, and she wanted to respect my first real adult decision, so she kept my secret.
第二年2月，当我18岁的时候，他告诉我的母亲，他将停止支付法庭规定的儿童抚养费，该支付本应持续到我大学毕业；他没有支付我的大学费用。哦，是的，，在通知我母亲之后，并没有给我一张18岁的生日贺卡或礼物;我不承认我已经是合法的成年人了，除了停止支付儿童抚养费，我母亲一直指望着帮我支付大学学费也没有。
7月，他把在我还是个婴儿时购买的人寿保险的账单交给了我—一个即将去上大学的没有工作的学生，所以从现在由我开始支付。当然，给我寄账单和给我寄保险单是不一样的，保险单上当然还是把我父亲列为受益人;三年后，当我向保险公司理赔时，18年的赔款和3年未付的保险费只让我收到了足以支付一个学期教科书的现金。
8月，我的心接受了这个事实：我真的不再是我父亲的女儿了，即使我曾经是。我用当保姆的钱请了律师，合法地改了名字。当我母亲发现后，她很烦恼，担心我父亲会说什么，我甚至禁止她告诉他。如果他不知道的话，他就不能对她大喊大叫，她想尊重我成年后的第一个决定，所以她保守了我的秘密。
In July, he turned the bill for the life insurance policy purchased when I was an infant over to me, a student with no job heading off to college, so I could pay it from now on. Of course, sending me the bill was not the same as sending me the policy, which of course still had my father listed as the beneficiary; by the time I got that mess straightened out with the insurance company three years later, 18 years worth of payments and three years of unpaid premiums resulted in my receiving only enough of a cash payout upon cancellation to pay for a semester’s worth of textbooks.
In August, my heart accepted the truth: I truly wasn’t my father’s daughter anymore, if I ever was. Without anybody’s knowledge, I used my babysitting money to pay a lawyer and legally changed my name. When my mother found out, she fretted, worrying what my father would say, and I forbid her from even telling him. He couldn’t yell at her if he didn’t know, and she wanted to respect my first real adult decision, so she kept my secret.
第二年2月，当我18岁的时候，他告诉我的母亲，他将停止支付法庭规定的儿童抚养费，该支付本应持续到我大学毕业；他没有支付我的大学费用。哦，是的，，在通知我母亲之后，并没有给我一张18岁的生日贺卡或礼物;我不承认我已经是合法的成年人了，除了停止支付儿童抚养费，我母亲一直指望着帮我支付大学学费也没有。
7月，他把在我还是个婴儿时购买的人寿保险的账单交给了我—一个即将去上大学的没有工作的学生，所以从现在由我开始支付。当然，给我寄账单和给我寄保险单是不一样的，保险单上当然还是把我父亲列为受益人;三年后，当我向保险公司理赔时，18年的赔款和3年未付的保险费只让我收到了足以支付一个学期教科书的现金。
8月，我的心接受了这个事实：我真的不再是我父亲的女儿了，即使我曾经是。我用当保姆的钱请了律师，合法地改了名字。当我母亲发现后，她很烦恼，担心我父亲会说什么，我甚至禁止她告诉他。如果他不知道的话，他就不能对她大喊大叫，她想尊重我成年后的第一个决定，所以她保守了我的秘密。
In September I began attending university as my beloved stepfather’s daughter and bearing his name to prove it. I didn’t speak to the man who had contributed sperm again.
My next contact with my father four years later was to mail a graduation announcement, not an invitation, custom-engraved with my new legal name. I had handwritten a note in the margin that I had graduated without any help from the useless son of a bitch (which, in his view, was a gross insult to my grandmother, which is why I called him that instead of a deadbeat manwhore motherfucker, which is frankly more my style, lol!). Whoa, was he pissed! He phoned my mother to bitch, but she pointed out that I had had no visitation, letters, phone calls, financial support, or any other contact, and that I had changed my name myself as a legal adult with my own money without discussing it with her and that she had honored an adult’s request to keep it private. My father had no leverage over any of us anymore, so suck it up!
After I had landed a steady job to support myself, and was no longer his financial responsibility, he attempted to reconnect. He’d divorced the bimbo in 1987 blamed all his neglect of us on her; according to him, she and her children were his family and she had wanted to pretend we didn’t exist, and her irresponsible spending was the reason there had never been any money left over for my brother and me. It’s just too bad for him that the cars and clothes and jewelry and designer puppies he bought for her while my brother and I were on the reduced school lunch program weren’t enough for her to keep her legs closed. Life’s a bitch.
9月，我开始以我深爱的继父的身份上大学，并以他的名字作为证明。我没有再和那个捐精的人说话。
四年后，我与父亲的下一次接触是邮寄一份毕业公告，而不是请柬，上面刻着我新的法定名字。我在页边空白处写了一张便条，说我毕业时没有得到那个没用的狗娘养的任何帮助（在他看来，这是对我祖母的严重侮辱，这就是为什么我这么称呼他而不是一个死气沉沉的男妓混蛋，坦白说，这更符合我的风格，哈哈！）。哇，他生气了！他打电话给我母亲叫她“婊子”，但她指出我没有得到探视、信件、电话、经济支持或任何其他联系，我自己用自己的钱更改了自己的名字，作为一个合法成年人，没有和她讨论，她尊重一个成年人的要求，不让别人知道。我父亲对我们任何人都没有影响力了，那就闭嘴吧！
在我找到了一份稳定的工作来养活自己，不再需要他负经济责任之后，他试图重新联系。1987年，他与那个情妇离婚，并将他对我们的忽视归咎于她；据他说，她和她的孩子是他的家人，她想假装我们不存在，而她不负责任的消费正是没有给我和弟弟留下任何钱的原因。对他来说太糟糕了，在我和弟弟参加学校午餐缩减计划的时候，他为她买汽车、衣服、珠宝和设计师小狗都不足以让她不出轨，她就是个婊子。
My next contact with my father four years later was to mail a graduation announcement, not an invitation, custom-engraved with my new legal name. I had handwritten a note in the margin that I had graduated without any help from the useless son of a bitch (which, in his view, was a gross insult to my grandmother, which is why I called him that instead of a deadbeat manwhore motherfucker, which is frankly more my style, lol!). Whoa, was he pissed! He phoned my mother to bitch, but she pointed out that I had had no visitation, letters, phone calls, financial support, or any other contact, and that I had changed my name myself as a legal adult with my own money without discussing it with her and that she had honored an adult’s request to keep it private. My father had no leverage over any of us anymore, so suck it up!
After I had landed a steady job to support myself, and was no longer his financial responsibility, he attempted to reconnect. He’d divorced the bimbo in 1987 blamed all his neglect of us on her; according to him, she and her children were his family and she had wanted to pretend we didn’t exist, and her irresponsible spending was the reason there had never been any money left over for my brother and me. It’s just too bad for him that the cars and clothes and jewelry and designer puppies he bought for her while my brother and I were on the reduced school lunch program weren’t enough for her to keep her legs closed. Life’s a bitch.
9月，我开始以我深爱的继父的身份上大学，并以他的名字作为证明。我没有再和那个捐精的人说话。
四年后，我与父亲的下一次接触是邮寄一份毕业公告，而不是请柬，上面刻着我新的法定名字。我在页边空白处写了一张便条，说我毕业时没有得到那个没用的狗娘养的任何帮助（在他看来，这是对我祖母的严重侮辱，这就是为什么我这么称呼他而不是一个死气沉沉的男妓混蛋，坦白说，这更符合我的风格，哈哈！）。哇，他生气了！他打电话给我母亲叫她“婊子”，但她指出我没有得到探视、信件、电话、经济支持或任何其他联系，我自己用自己的钱更改了自己的名字，作为一个合法成年人，没有和她讨论，她尊重一个成年人的要求，不让别人知道。我父亲对我们任何人都没有影响力了，那就闭嘴吧！
在我找到了一份稳定的工作来养活自己，不再需要他负经济责任之后，他试图重新联系。1987年，他与那个情妇离婚，并将他对我们的忽视归咎于她；据他说，她和她的孩子是他的家人，她想假装我们不存在，而她不负责任的消费正是没有给我和弟弟留下任何钱的原因。对他来说太糟糕了，在我和弟弟参加学校午餐缩减计划的时候，他为她买汽车、衣服、珠宝和设计师小狗都不足以让她不出轨，她就是个婊子。
I did try. We exchanged occasional letters, phone calls, photos and Christmas cards for several years, and after I had married, he invited himself to our new home for a weekend in 2005 to meet his son-in-law. At that point, my father had divorced Wife #4. You know the old adage about not being able to pick your relatives? My husband was so repulsed and disgusted by my father . And as my husband observed, my father never accepted responsibility or apologized for his neglect; my bimbo stepmother was entirely to blame. He also still knew to the penny how many thousands of dollars he’d failed to pay in child support. Then my father whispered that no one knew he was with us in Virginia; apparently I was a big secret and no one needed to know.
I never saw him again, and the rare letters petered out to nothing; I haven’t heard from him in over 10 years, when he replied to a letter that I had failed to address to “Dear Daddy” with the news that he didn’t need any more friends and if I couldn’t forgive and resume calling him “Daddy” like I had when I was a little girl then he wouldn’t be communicating with me anymore. I haven’t seen my half-sisters since they were babies; I’ve never spoken to them.
But I’ve never forgotten; I’m my mother’s daughter. And both my parents, my mother and her husband, were absolutely amazing.————————
A bored curiosity-driven internet search found a four-month-old obituary advising my father died in January 2020. Neither I, my brother, nor at least four ex-wives (that I know of) were even worth a mention in the obit.
我确实试过保持联系。几年来，我们时不时地交换信件、电话、照片和圣诞卡。我结婚后，在2005年度周末他自发到我们的新家，去见他的女婿。当时，我父亲与妻子离婚了。你知道有句老话说无法挑选你的亲戚吗？我丈夫对我父亲非常反感，正如我丈夫所观察到的，我父亲从不承担责任，也从不为自己的疏忽道歉；我的荡妇继母完全是罪魁祸首。他还清楚地知道他没有支付数千美元的儿童抚养费。然后我父亲低声说，没有人知道他和我们在弗吉尼亚；显然我是个大秘密，没人需要知道。
我再也没有见过他，那些罕见的字母也渐渐消失了；我已经有10多年没有收到他的信了，当他回复一封我没有写给“亲爱的爸爸”的信时，告诉我如果我不能原谅他，他不需要更多的朋友，如果不能继续像我小时候那样称呼他“爸爸”，那么他就不会再和我交流了。我的同父异母姐妹还是婴儿时，我就没见过她们；我从未和他们说过话。
但我从未忘记；我是我母亲的女儿。我的父母，我的母亲和她的丈夫，都非常了不起。
一次无聊的好奇心驱使的网络搜索发现了一篇四个月前的讣告，上面写着我父亲于2020年1月去世。在讣告中，我、我的兄弟和至少四位前妻（据我所知）都不值得一提。
I never saw him again, and the rare letters petered out to nothing; I haven’t heard from him in over 10 years, when he replied to a letter that I had failed to address to “Dear Daddy” with the news that he didn’t need any more friends and if I couldn’t forgive and resume calling him “Daddy” like I had when I was a little girl then he wouldn’t be communicating with me anymore. I haven’t seen my half-sisters since they were babies; I’ve never spoken to them.
But I’ve never forgotten; I’m my mother’s daughter. And both my parents, my mother and her husband, were absolutely amazing.————————
A bored curiosity-driven internet search found a four-month-old obituary advising my father died in January 2020. Neither I, my brother, nor at least four ex-wives (that I know of) were even worth a mention in the obit.
我确实试过保持联系。几年来，我们时不时地交换信件、电话、照片和圣诞卡。我结婚后，在2005年度周末他自发到我们的新家，去见他的女婿。当时，我父亲与妻子离婚了。你知道有句老话说无法挑选你的亲戚吗？我丈夫对我父亲非常反感，正如我丈夫所观察到的，我父亲从不承担责任，也从不为自己的疏忽道歉；我的荡妇继母完全是罪魁祸首。他还清楚地知道他没有支付数千美元的儿童抚养费。然后我父亲低声说，没有人知道他和我们在弗吉尼亚；显然我是个大秘密，没人需要知道。
我再也没有见过他，那些罕见的字母也渐渐消失了；我已经有10多年没有收到他的信了，当他回复一封我没有写给“亲爱的爸爸”的信时，告诉我如果我不能原谅他，他不需要更多的朋友，如果不能继续像我小时候那样称呼他“爸爸”，那么他就不会再和我交流了。我的同父异母姐妹还是婴儿时，我就没见过她们；我从未和他们说过话。
但我从未忘记；我是我母亲的女儿。我的父母，我的母亲和她的丈夫，都非常了不起。
一次无聊的好奇心驱使的网络搜索发现了一篇四个月前的讣告，上面写着我父亲于2020年1月去世。在讣告中，我、我的兄弟和至少四位前妻（据我所知）都不值得一提。
Avery Tran, Lived in a toxic household since birth
Avery Tran 从出生起就生活在一个十分不愉快的家庭中
Avery Tran 从出生起就生活在一个十分不愉快的家庭中
When I was seven, I told my dad that I wanted to kill myself after receiving the beating of a lifetime. My mother overheard me as she was about to walk out of the house.
She said, “go ahead.”
Every time she’s stumbled across something even mentioning or relating to suicide that I’ve written or said, she encourages it.
She’s also said these things, in all seriousness.
“I’ll bash your face into the sidewalk until you’re dead.” (for not taking a selfie with her)
“If I’d have known your grades would have been this low I would have thrown you into the dumpster when I gave birth to you.” (because my grade went down from an A+ to an A-)
“You’re acting just like your brother. Everyone is turning against me when I didn’t do anything wrong.” (because I tried to explain to her that I was suicidal)
当我七岁的时候，我告诉我爸爸，我想在遭受了一生的打击后自杀。我母亲正要走出房子时无意中听到了我的话。
她说：“去吧。”
每次她偶然发现我写的或说的关于自杀的东西，甚至提到或与之相关的东西，她都鼓励这样做。
她也认真地说了这些话。
“我会把你的脸撞到人行道上，直到把你打死。”(因为没有和她一起自拍)
“如果我知道你的成绩分数会这么低，我生你的时候就会把你扔进垃圾箱。”（因为我的成绩从A+降到了A-）
“你的行为就像你哥哥一样。当我没有做错任何事时，每个人都反对我。”（因为我试图向她解释我有自杀的念头）
She said, “go ahead.”
Every time she’s stumbled across something even mentioning or relating to suicide that I’ve written or said, she encourages it.
She’s also said these things, in all seriousness.
“I’ll bash your face into the sidewalk until you’re dead.” (for not taking a selfie with her)
“If I’d have known your grades would have been this low I would have thrown you into the dumpster when I gave birth to you.” (because my grade went down from an A+ to an A-)
“You’re acting just like your brother. Everyone is turning against me when I didn’t do anything wrong.” (because I tried to explain to her that I was suicidal)
当我七岁的时候，我告诉我爸爸，我想在遭受了一生的打击后自杀。我母亲正要走出房子时无意中听到了我的话。
她说：“去吧。”
每次她偶然发现我写的或说的关于自杀的东西，甚至提到或与之相关的东西，她都鼓励这样做。
她也认真地说了这些话。
“我会把你的脸撞到人行道上，直到把你打死。”(因为没有和她一起自拍)
“如果我知道你的成绩分数会这么低，我生你的时候就会把你扔进垃圾箱。”（因为我的成绩从A+降到了A-）
“你的行为就像你哥哥一样。当我没有做错任何事时，每个人都反对我。”（因为我试图向她解释我有自杀的念头）
“I cried when I found out I was pregnant with you. But God would have been angry at me if I got an abortion.”
“Cry all you want but that’s just going to make me hit you harder.”
“You’re not allowed to cry unless I’m beating you.” (which totally contradicts that statement earlier)
“I’m trying to hit you harder, why aren’t you crying?” (when I held in my tears to try and defy her)
“You have all these scars, you cut yourself and scratch at yourself. You’re a danger to this household and a danger to me. If you can cut yourself I’m at risk of being killed by you.” (when she found out I self harmed)
And the best one I’ve ever heard:
“You can cry all you want. You can be angry at me. I don’t care if you hate me, because I’m going to keep doing what I’ve always done. If you report me to the police for ‘child abuse,’ I’m going to murder you before I go to prison.”
“当我发现我怀了你时，我哭了。但是如果我堕胎，上帝会对我生气的。”
“你想哭就哭吧，但那只会让我更狠狠地揍你。”
“除非我打你，否则你不许哭。”（这与之前的说法完全相反）
“我想狠狠地打你，你为什么不哭？”（当我忍住眼泪试图反抗她的时候）
“你身上有这么多伤疤，你割伤了自己，还抓了自己。你对这个家庭和我都是一个危险。如果你能割伤自己，我就有被你杀死的危险。”（当她发现我自残时）
这是我听过的最好的一个：
“你可以想哭就哭。你可以生我的气。我不在乎你是否恨我，因为我会继续做我一直做的事。如果你以虐待儿童罪向警方报案，我会在入狱前杀了你。”
“Cry all you want but that’s just going to make me hit you harder.”
“You’re not allowed to cry unless I’m beating you.” (which totally contradicts that statement earlier)
“I’m trying to hit you harder, why aren’t you crying?” (when I held in my tears to try and defy her)
“You have all these scars, you cut yourself and scratch at yourself. You’re a danger to this household and a danger to me. If you can cut yourself I’m at risk of being killed by you.” (when she found out I self harmed)
And the best one I’ve ever heard:
“You can cry all you want. You can be angry at me. I don’t care if you hate me, because I’m going to keep doing what I’ve always done. If you report me to the police for ‘child abuse,’ I’m going to murder you before I go to prison.”
“当我发现我怀了你时，我哭了。但是如果我堕胎，上帝会对我生气的。”
“你想哭就哭吧，但那只会让我更狠狠地揍你。”
“除非我打你，否则你不许哭。”（这与之前的说法完全相反）
“我想狠狠地打你，你为什么不哭？”（当我忍住眼泪试图反抗她的时候）
“你身上有这么多伤疤，你割伤了自己，还抓了自己。你对这个家庭和我都是一个危险。如果你能割伤自己，我就有被你杀死的危险。”（当她发现我自残时）
这是我听过的最好的一个：
“你可以想哭就哭。你可以生我的气。我不在乎你是否恨我，因为我会继续做我一直做的事。如果你以虐待儿童罪向警方报案，我会在入狱前杀了你。”
Khloe Rodriguez, Nurse at Renown Children’s Hospital (2018-present)
I was raped when I was 14 by my 32 year old uncle (Dads brothers) when he was supposed to make sure that I didn’t get in trouble or sneak out of the house while my mother was gone. When I tried to tell my mother about it she said that I was talking nonsense and that I was an attention seeking whore. I tried to talk to her again when she was more calm but she said the same thing and even threatened to kick me out of the house if I accused my uncle of doing something like that again. After that she continually abused me and would hit me with anything in her reach if I got her the slightest of angry. My father had passed away so I couldn’t tell him. After a while when I turned 16 it happened again. My uncle came into my room asking me if I could help him fix something in the kitchen. I said okay and went to help him still , but a weak teen vs a grown ass man I didn’t stand a chance and he did it again. After that I started to be more quite I didn’t eat as much and I hardly went to sleep. My mother noticed this and asked me what was wrong. I was hesitant to answer because I thought that she would react the same way again. I told her anyways because I needed to get it off my chest. I told her what he had done and at first she seemed calm and understanding, but boy was I wrong. I still remember what she said “People like you should be killed right the second they are born. Why do you accuse your uncle who has been there for us after your father died of doing this. You are a little attention seeking sluty ass whore. I want you out of this house by midnight”. After that I couldn’t stand it anymore and I told her “Do you have a crush on him or something or do you 2 just f###k and that’s why your supporting him? You have never been there for me and after dad died I knew you didn’t care you didn’t even shed a single tear when he died. I’ll leave and forget that I ever had a mother”. Before she could say another word I packed my clothes and went to my best friends house. Now I am 19 I still live with my friend but I am trying to make more money by taking extra jobs to get an apartment. My mother and uncle are married they try to get contact with me but I just talk on the phone which is just about as worse as being with them. I get threats, and discouragement every time they text or call me. I am seriously thinking about getting a restraining order aginst them since now they are starting to show up at my friends house.
Khloe Rodriguez，著名儿童医院护士（2018年至今）
我14岁的时候被我32岁的叔叔（爸爸的兄弟）强奸了，当时他本应该确保我在妈妈不在的时候不会惹麻烦或溜出家门。当我试图告诉我母亲这件事时，她说我在胡说八道，我是一个寻求关注的妓女。当她平静下来的时候，我试图再次与她交谈，但她说了同样的话，甚至威胁说如果我指控我叔叔做那样的事，她会把我踢出家门。从那以后，她不断地虐待我，如果我让她有一点点生气，她就会用她能得到的任何东西打我。我父亲去世了，所以我不能告诉他。当我16岁的时候，事情又发生了。我叔叔走进我的房间，问我是否可以帮他修理厨房里的东西。我说可以，然后去帮助他，但是一个弱小的青少年对一个成熟的混蛋，我没有机会，他又碰了我一次。从那以后，我开始变得更安静了，我没有吃很多，几乎没有睡觉。我妈妈注意到了这一点，问我怎么了。我犹豫着回答，因为我认为她会再次做出同样的反应。不管怎样，我告诉了她，因为我需要说出我的心里话。我还是告诉了她，因为我想把这事说出来。我告诉她他所做的一切，起初她看起来冷静而善解人意，但天哪，我错了。我还记得她说的话:“像你这样的人应该一出生就被杀死。你为什么要指控你父亲死后一直在我们身边的叔叔。你是个寻求关注的淫荡婊子。我要你在午夜前离开这所房子。”从那以后我再也受不了了，我告诉她“你是不是迷恋上了他或什么的，还是你两个搞到一起，这就是你支持他的原因？你从来没有支持过我，我知道你不在乎爸爸的死，他死后你甚至一滴眼泪都没有流。我会离开，忘记我曾经有过母亲。”.她还没来得及再说一句话，我就收拾好衣服，去了我最好的朋友家。现在我19岁了，我仍然和我的朋友住在一起，但我正试图通过做额外的工作来获得更多的钱，以获得一套公寓。我的母亲和叔叔结婚了，他们试图与我接触，但我只是在电话中交谈，这和在一起一样糟糕，每次他们发短信或打电话给我，我都会受到威胁和打击。我在认真考虑申请对他们的限制令，因为现在他们开始出现在我朋友的家里
I was raped when I was 14 by my 32 year old uncle (Dads brothers) when he was supposed to make sure that I didn’t get in trouble or sneak out of the house while my mother was gone. When I tried to tell my mother about it she said that I was talking nonsense and that I was an attention seeking whore. I tried to talk to her again when she was more calm but she said the same thing and even threatened to kick me out of the house if I accused my uncle of doing something like that again. After that she continually abused me and would hit me with anything in her reach if I got her the slightest of angry. My father had passed away so I couldn’t tell him. After a while when I turned 16 it happened again. My uncle came into my room asking me if I could help him fix something in the kitchen. I said okay and went to help him still , but a weak teen vs a grown ass man I didn’t stand a chance and he did it again. After that I started to be more quite I didn’t eat as much and I hardly went to sleep. My mother noticed this and asked me what was wrong. I was hesitant to answer because I thought that she would react the same way again. I told her anyways because I needed to get it off my chest. I told her what he had done and at first she seemed calm and understanding, but boy was I wrong. I still remember what she said “People like you should be killed right the second they are born. Why do you accuse your uncle who has been there for us after your father died of doing this. You are a little attention seeking sluty ass whore. I want you out of this house by midnight”. After that I couldn’t stand it anymore and I told her “Do you have a crush on him or something or do you 2 just f###k and that’s why your supporting him? You have never been there for me and after dad died I knew you didn’t care you didn’t even shed a single tear when he died. I’ll leave and forget that I ever had a mother”. Before she could say another word I packed my clothes and went to my best friends house. Now I am 19 I still live with my friend but I am trying to make more money by taking extra jobs to get an apartment. My mother and uncle are married they try to get contact with me but I just talk on the phone which is just about as worse as being with them. I get threats, and discouragement every time they text or call me. I am seriously thinking about getting a restraining order aginst them since now they are starting to show up at my friends house.
Khloe Rodriguez，著名儿童医院护士（2018年至今）
我14岁的时候被我32岁的叔叔（爸爸的兄弟）强奸了，当时他本应该确保我在妈妈不在的时候不会惹麻烦或溜出家门。当我试图告诉我母亲这件事时，她说我在胡说八道，我是一个寻求关注的妓女。当她平静下来的时候，我试图再次与她交谈，但她说了同样的话，甚至威胁说如果我指控我叔叔做那样的事，她会把我踢出家门。从那以后，她不断地虐待我，如果我让她有一点点生气，她就会用她能得到的任何东西打我。我父亲去世了，所以我不能告诉他。当我16岁的时候，事情又发生了。我叔叔走进我的房间，问我是否可以帮他修理厨房里的东西。我说可以，然后去帮助他，但是一个弱小的青少年对一个成熟的混蛋，我没有机会，他又碰了我一次。从那以后，我开始变得更安静了，我没有吃很多，几乎没有睡觉。我妈妈注意到了这一点，问我怎么了。我犹豫着回答，因为我认为她会再次做出同样的反应。不管怎样，我告诉了她，因为我需要说出我的心里话。我还是告诉了她，因为我想把这事说出来。我告诉她他所做的一切，起初她看起来冷静而善解人意，但天哪，我错了。我还记得她说的话:“像你这样的人应该一出生就被杀死。你为什么要指控你父亲死后一直在我们身边的叔叔。你是个寻求关注的淫荡婊子。我要你在午夜前离开这所房子。”从那以后我再也受不了了，我告诉她“你是不是迷恋上了他或什么的，还是你两个搞到一起，这就是你支持他的原因？你从来没有支持过我，我知道你不在乎爸爸的死，他死后你甚至一滴眼泪都没有流。我会离开，忘记我曾经有过母亲。”.她还没来得及再说一句话，我就收拾好衣服，去了我最好的朋友家。现在我19岁了，我仍然和我的朋友住在一起，但我正试图通过做额外的工作来获得更多的钱，以获得一套公寓。我的母亲和叔叔结婚了，他们试图与我接触，但我只是在电话中交谈，这和在一起一样糟糕，每次他们发短信或打电话给我，我都会受到威胁和打击。我在认真考虑申请对他们的限制令，因为现在他们开始出现在我朋友的家里
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