有什么迹象表明你正在放弃自己的生活(一)
正文翻译
What are some signs that you are throwing away your life?
有什么迹象表明你正在放弃自己的生活
What are some signs that you are throwing away your life?
有什么迹象表明你正在放弃自己的生活
评论翻译
Rafael Eliassen
Having the sheep mentality — afraid of not fitting in and never thinking for yourself.
You escape into drugs, alcohol, Netflix
You consume a lot of self-help and are afraid of taking imperfect action.
You don’t have a priority goal — whether it be health, wealth, relationship.
You live in a loop — the same experiences in relationships, habits, career, etc.
You let the day run you without having any agenda.
You try to please everyone you meet to feel good about yourself.
You are waiting for the right time — to change jobs, ask someone out, etc.
有羊的心态—害怕不合群，从不为自己着想。
你会沉迷于毒品、酒精和Netflix。
你热衷于自救，害怕采取不完美的行动。
你没有一个优先的目标—不管是健康、财富还是人际关系。
你生活在一个循环中——在关系、习惯、职业等方面都有同样的经历。
你没有任何日程安排，任由时间流逝。
你试图取悦你遇到的每一个人，让自己感觉良好。
你在等待合适的时机—换工作、约某人出去等等。
Having the sheep mentality — afraid of not fitting in and never thinking for yourself.
You escape into drugs, alcohol, Netflix
You consume a lot of self-help and are afraid of taking imperfect action.
You don’t have a priority goal — whether it be health, wealth, relationship.
You live in a loop — the same experiences in relationships, habits, career, etc.
You let the day run you without having any agenda.
You try to please everyone you meet to feel good about yourself.
You are waiting for the right time — to change jobs, ask someone out, etc.
有羊的心态—害怕不合群，从不为自己着想。
你会沉迷于毒品、酒精和Netflix。
你热衷于自救，害怕采取不完美的行动。
你没有一个优先的目标—不管是健康、财富还是人际关系。
你生活在一个循环中——在关系、习惯、职业等方面都有同样的经历。
你没有任何日程安排，任由时间流逝。
你试图取悦你遇到的每一个人，让自己感觉良好。
你在等待合适的时机—换工作、约某人出去等等。
Gurmeet Bishnoi, studied at Master of Science Degrees
Gurmete Bishnoi，攻读理学硕士学位
Gurmete Bishnoi，攻读理学硕士学位
When you can't imagine your life without smartphone.
More smart phone making us studpid.
Letting every distraction to fill the day.
Saying “yes” to every got a minute request.
Spending lot of time doing things which we shouldn't be.
TV, reality shows, Video games.
Often find yourself compalining or making excuses.
Complains about job, boss, family, work etc.
Not taking care of your body.
当你无法想象没有智能手机的生活时。
智能手机让我们变蠢。
让一天的时间被众多小事所分心。
对每一个请求都说“好”。
花很多时间做我们不该做的事情。
电视，真人秀，电子游戏。
经常发现自己在抱怨或找借口。
抱怨工作、老板、家庭、工作等。
没有照顾好你的身体。
More smart phone making us studpid.
Letting every distraction to fill the day.
Saying “yes” to every got a minute request.
Spending lot of time doing things which we shouldn't be.
TV, reality shows, Video games.
Often find yourself compalining or making excuses.
Complains about job, boss, family, work etc.
Not taking care of your body.
当你无法想象没有智能手机的生活时。
智能手机让我们变蠢。
让一天的时间被众多小事所分心。
对每一个请求都说“好”。
花很多时间做我们不该做的事情。
电视，真人秀，电子游戏。
经常发现自己在抱怨或找借口。
抱怨工作、老板、家庭、工作等。
没有照顾好你的身体。
Letting yourself down more often.
Your thoughts “I can't”, “I am not smart” becomes reality with time.
Spending too much time with people who don't empower you.
Find postitive people.
Spending money of things that don't matter.
Preferring “wants” over “need”.
Not stepping out of comfort zone.
Scared from taking risks and adventures.
Clicking selfies, pics, your activities and uploading them everyday.
Rather than showing moments, it's better to live the moment.
经常让自己失望。
随着时间的推移，你的想法“我不能”、“我不聪明”变成了现实。
花太多的时间和那些不能赋予你力量的人在一起。
寻找积极的人。
把钱花在无关紧要的事情上。
更喜欢“想要”而不是“需要”。
没有走出舒适区。
害怕冒险和风险。
每天上传自拍、图片、行动轨迹。
与其展示当下，不如活在当下。
Your thoughts “I can't”, “I am not smart” becomes reality with time.
Spending too much time with people who don't empower you.
Find postitive people.
Spending money of things that don't matter.
Preferring “wants” over “need”.
Not stepping out of comfort zone.
Scared from taking risks and adventures.
Clicking selfies, pics, your activities and uploading them everyday.
Rather than showing moments, it's better to live the moment.
经常让自己失望。
随着时间的推移，你的想法“我不能”、“我不聪明”变成了现实。
花太多的时间和那些不能赋予你力量的人在一起。
寻找积极的人。
把钱花在无关紧要的事情上。
更喜欢“想要”而不是“需要”。
没有走出舒适区。
害怕冒险和风险。
每天上传自拍、图片、行动轨迹。
与其展示当下，不如活在当下。
Lukas Schwekendiek, Life Coach, Speaker, Writer. Published on TIME, INC & Huffington Post.
卢卡斯·施韦肯迪克，生活教练，演说家，作家。出版于时代公司和赫芬顿邮报。
卢卡斯·施韦肯迪克，生活教练，演说家，作家。出版于时代公司和赫芬顿邮报。
Your life isn’t getting better - Looking back a year ago you realize nothing much has changed. This is the sign of someone settling for the life they have and not using their power to improve. You are throwing your life away if this is not on purpose!
You are spending more time consuming than you are producing - For every hour you study, work or create, you spend four hours watching TV, playing games or reading books.
Your Resolutions stay the same - How often did you say you would work out? Stand up early? Or do more tomorrow than you did today? Why are you still having those same resolutions?
The problems in your life aren’t getting bigger - You are still trying to solve the problem of how to pay the $200 fine on the speeding ticket instead of worrying about how to save your $1,000,000 business from bankruptcy. Which problem would you rather have?
Complaining happens more often than appreciating - You point fingers at other things, embody the negativity you have and complain and complain and complain without lifting a finger, instead of doing something about it and appreciating every time you have lifted your finger to bring forth a change.
你的生活并没有变得更好—回顾一年前，你意识到没有什么变化。这是一种迹象，表明有人安于现状，没有用自己的力量去改善生活。如果这不是故意的，你就是在浪费生命！
你所花费的时间比你所创造的要多—你每学习、工作或创造一个小时，你就要花四个小时看电视、玩游戏或读书。
你的决心保持不变—你多久锻炼一次?早起?或者明天比今天做得更多?为什么你仍然有那些相同的决心
你生活中的问题并没有变得更严重—你仍然在努力解决如何支付超速罚单上200美元罚款的问题，而不是担心如何挽救你100万美元的企业免于破产。你更愿意有哪个问题？
抱怨比欣赏更常见—你指责其他事情，表现出你的消极情绪和一味抱怨，而不是做点什么，感激你每次举起手指带来改变的时候。
You are spending more time consuming than you are producing - For every hour you study, work or create, you spend four hours watching TV, playing games or reading books.
Your Resolutions stay the same - How often did you say you would work out? Stand up early? Or do more tomorrow than you did today? Why are you still having those same resolutions?
The problems in your life aren’t getting bigger - You are still trying to solve the problem of how to pay the $200 fine on the speeding ticket instead of worrying about how to save your $1,000,000 business from bankruptcy. Which problem would you rather have?
Complaining happens more often than appreciating - You point fingers at other things, embody the negativity you have and complain and complain and complain without lifting a finger, instead of doing something about it and appreciating every time you have lifted your finger to bring forth a change.
你的生活并没有变得更好—回顾一年前，你意识到没有什么变化。这是一种迹象，表明有人安于现状，没有用自己的力量去改善生活。如果这不是故意的，你就是在浪费生命！
你所花费的时间比你所创造的要多—你每学习、工作或创造一个小时，你就要花四个小时看电视、玩游戏或读书。
你的决心保持不变—你多久锻炼一次?早起?或者明天比今天做得更多?为什么你仍然有那些相同的决心
你生活中的问题并没有变得更严重—你仍然在努力解决如何支付超速罚单上200美元罚款的问题，而不是担心如何挽救你100万美元的企业免于破产。你更愿意有哪个问题？
抱怨比欣赏更常见—你指责其他事情，表现出你的消极情绪和一味抱怨，而不是做点什么，感激你每次举起手指带来改变的时候。
You have no big aspirations - Your goals include living an okay life, in a nice house with a nice family. You keep from going for big goals to prevent disappointment, acting out of fear rather than desire and inspiration!
Life seems like a drag - You hardly remember yesterday, much less what you did for most of the year. The days seem to go on forever and life just doesn’t seem to get any better.
You have time to spare - At the end of the day you are not falling dead into your bed but instead staying up until 4 in the morning because you didn’t exert yourself at all. You have time to spare and energy as well.
You feel fear over excitement - When you look at a problem, your future, or something troubling you become massively afraid instead of excited over the challenge. A sign that fear broke you into giving up on your life.
你没有什么远大的抱负—你的目标包括过一种好的生活，住漂亮的房子、有一个温馨的家庭。你不去追求大目标是为了防止失望，行动是出于恐惧而不是欲望和灵感！
生活似乎是一个累赘—你几乎不记得昨天，更不用说你一年中大部分时间都做了什么。日子似乎过得没完没了，生活似乎一点也没有好转。
你有空闲的时间—在一天结束的时候，你并没有昏倒在床上，而是熬夜到凌晨4点，因为你一点都没有努力。你有时间，也有精力。
你感到恐惧而不是兴奋—当你展望一个问题，你的未来，或一些困扰你的事情时，你会变得非常害怕，而不是对挑战感到兴奋。恐惧是让你放弃生活的一个标志。
Life seems like a drag - You hardly remember yesterday, much less what you did for most of the year. The days seem to go on forever and life just doesn’t seem to get any better.
You have time to spare - At the end of the day you are not falling dead into your bed but instead staying up until 4 in the morning because you didn’t exert yourself at all. You have time to spare and energy as well.
You feel fear over excitement - When you look at a problem, your future, or something troubling you become massively afraid instead of excited over the challenge. A sign that fear broke you into giving up on your life.
你没有什么远大的抱负—你的目标包括过一种好的生活，住漂亮的房子、有一个温馨的家庭。你不去追求大目标是为了防止失望，行动是出于恐惧而不是欲望和灵感！
生活似乎是一个累赘—你几乎不记得昨天，更不用说你一年中大部分时间都做了什么。日子似乎过得没完没了，生活似乎一点也没有好转。
你有空闲的时间—在一天结束的时候，你并没有昏倒在床上，而是熬夜到凌晨4点，因为你一点都没有努力。你有时间，也有精力。
你感到恐惧而不是兴奋—当你展望一个问题，你的未来，或一些困扰你的事情时，你会变得非常害怕，而不是对挑战感到兴奋。恐惧是让你放弃生活的一个标志。
Sean Lana, studied History & German at University of Hamburg
Sean Lana，在汉堡大学学习历史和德语
Sean Lana，在汉堡大学学习历史和德语
You keep repeating the same mistake, thereafter throwing out your anger, frustration at other people.
Getting married just because of sex.
Taking loan in order to impress people that have bigger assets than you.
You talk a lot but you act less, nothing work for people who refuse to do the work. You should hustle hard in silence and impress people with results.
You believe in gambling and Ponzi schemes are the only way to financial freedom, so you ignore working hard.
You lack patience, persistence but love shortcuts which makes you skip some major steps in life.
You seek excessive validation on social media.
You love entertainment more than learning something new. Victims love entertainment while victors love education.
You are not ready to discomfort yourself first for comfort.
你不断重复同样的错误，然后向别人发泄你的愤怒和沮丧。
仅仅因为性而结婚。
接受贷款是为了给那些资产比你多的人留下深刻印象。
你说得多，做得少，对那些拒绝做这项工作的人来说，什么都不管用。你应该在沉默中努力工作，用结果给人留下深刻印象。
你相信赌博和庞氏骗局是获得经济自由的唯一途径，所以你忽视了努力工作。
你缺乏耐心和不够坚持，但爱是你生命中的捷径，它让你跳过了一些重要的步骤。
你在社交媒体上过度寻求认可。
比起学习新东西，你更喜欢娱乐。受害者喜欢娱乐，胜利者喜欢教育。
你还没有准备好先让自己感到不适来寻求安慰。
Getting married just because of sex.
Taking loan in order to impress people that have bigger assets than you.
You talk a lot but you act less, nothing work for people who refuse to do the work. You should hustle hard in silence and impress people with results.
You believe in gambling and Ponzi schemes are the only way to financial freedom, so you ignore working hard.
You lack patience, persistence but love shortcuts which makes you skip some major steps in life.
You seek excessive validation on social media.
You love entertainment more than learning something new. Victims love entertainment while victors love education.
You are not ready to discomfort yourself first for comfort.
你不断重复同样的错误，然后向别人发泄你的愤怒和沮丧。
仅仅因为性而结婚。
接受贷款是为了给那些资产比你多的人留下深刻印象。
你说得多，做得少，对那些拒绝做这项工作的人来说，什么都不管用。你应该在沉默中努力工作，用结果给人留下深刻印象。
你相信赌博和庞氏骗局是获得经济自由的唯一途径，所以你忽视了努力工作。
你缺乏耐心和不够坚持，但爱是你生命中的捷径，它让你跳过了一些重要的步骤。
你在社交媒体上过度寻求认可。
比起学习新东西，你更喜欢娱乐。受害者喜欢娱乐，胜利者喜欢教育。
你还没有准备好先让自己感到不适来寻求安慰。
Ayodeji Awosika, I'm a published author who focuses on personal development.
Ayodeji Awosika，我是一位出版作家，专注于个人发展。
Ayodeji Awosika，我是一位出版作家，专注于个人发展。
You’re doing anything besides the thing you want to do with your life - Before I dive into the point further, let me preface by saying there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doing what you have to do to take care of your family, especially short and medium-term. But if you never make an attempt to escape the rat race and you spend the vast majority of your time doing things you don’t want to do, you’re throwing at least one major part of your life away. Having control over your time and doing the things you want isn’t everything, but it’s a hell of a lot more than something. Most people won’t admit that, but it’s true. The point isn’t to make people feel bad for being stuck in situations they don’t want to be in. Often, forces outside of your control help shape those situations. But I do encourage people to create ‘escape plans’ because failing to do so means you’re giving up a significant portion of your existence on this earth. And when I say you’re wasting your life by doing things you don’t really want to do, it applies to any scenario. You can be rich doing things you want to do or doing things you hate doing. You can live a modest life doing things you want to do or doing things you hate doing. An accountant can be in alignment with their purpose and a pop-star can be misaligned. It has nothing to do with what you do, but why you do it.
除了你想做的事情之外，你正在做任何事情——在我进一步深入讨论这一点之前，让我先说，做你必须做的事情来照顾你的家庭绝对没有错，特别是短期和中期。但是，如果你从未试图逃避激烈的竞争，而你把绝大多数时间都花在做你不想做的事情上，那么你至少丢掉了你生命中的一大部分。控制你的时间，做你想做的事情并不是一切，但这比什么都重要。大多数人不会承认这一点，但这是真的。问题的关键不是让人们因为陷入他们不想陷入的境地而感到难过。通常，你无法控制的力量有助于塑造这些局面。但我确实鼓励人们制定“逃l离计划”，因为不这样做意味着你放弃了你你生命中重要的一部分。当我说你做你不想做的事情是在浪费生命时，这适用于任何情况。你可以做你想做的事或者做你讨厌做的事。你可以过一种保守的生活，做你想做的事或者做你讨厌做的事。一个会计可以与他们的目标一致，而一个流行歌星可能与他们的目标不一致。这与你做什么无关，而与你为什么做有关。
除了你想做的事情之外，你正在做任何事情——在我进一步深入讨论这一点之前，让我先说，做你必须做的事情来照顾你的家庭绝对没有错，特别是短期和中期。但是，如果你从未试图逃避激烈的竞争，而你把绝大多数时间都花在做你不想做的事情上，那么你至少丢掉了你生命中的一大部分。控制你的时间，做你想做的事情并不是一切，但这比什么都重要。大多数人不会承认这一点，但这是真的。问题的关键不是让人们因为陷入他们不想陷入的境地而感到难过。通常，你无法控制的力量有助于塑造这些局面。但我确实鼓励人们制定“逃l离计划”，因为不这样做意味着你放弃了你你生命中重要的一部分。当我说你做你不想做的事情是在浪费生命时，这适用于任何情况。你可以做你想做的事或者做你讨厌做的事。你可以过一种保守的生活，做你想做的事或者做你讨厌做的事。一个会计可以与他们的目标一致，而一个流行歌星可能与他们的目标不一致。这与你做什么无关，而与你为什么做有关。
You’re staying in a relationship when you know it isn’t working - This is a tough one. I don’t give relationship advice, per se. I don’t know anyone’s personal situation nor do I feel qualified to tell them what to do with such an intimate issue. Here’s what I do know. Being in a co-dependent relationship where both partners won’t leave due to fear of being alone and starting over will have long-term negative psychological effects. There are a ton of variables to consider, e.g., having children together. But you also have to weigh all the pros and cons, e.g., is it better to stick it out for the kids while knowing your relationship isn’t working or is it better for your kids to not have parents in toxic relationships? Sometimes people cut things short too quickly because we’re in a culture that promotes exiting relationships when things get tough. But then there’s such a thing as too tough where you shouldn’t have to work that hard to be with someone. Again, not giving advice, but if you know deep-down you shouldn’t be with that person, I’d encourage you to think deeply about the implications of staying with that person. I stayed in a relationship far too long and even got married when I knew deep down I shouldn’t have. Sticking things out to see if I could work it out only made leaving more difficult and painful. Ripping the band-aid earlier would have hurt, but it would’ve been much less painful than what inevitably took place. Work and love — those are the two biggest traps people fall into and waste large chunks of time.
当你知道这段感情并不成功时，你还是在维持它—这是一个棘手的问题。我不会给你恋爱建议。我不知道任何人的个人情况，也没有资格告诉他们如何处理这样一个亲密的问题。这是我所知道的:处于一种共同依赖的关系中，由于害怕独处和重新开始，双方都不会离开，这将产生长期的负面心理影响。要考虑的变量有很多，比如一起养育孩子。但你也必须权衡所有的利弊，例如，在知道你们的关系不顺利的情况下，是为孩子坚持下去更好呢，还是让孩子远离父母的不良关系更好呢？有时候，人们加快事情的发展进程，因为我们所处的文化是，当事情变得艰难时，我们会促进彼此之间的关系。但是有一件事太难了，你不应该为了和某人在一起而那么努力。同样，不要给出建议，但如果你内心深处知道你不应该和那个人在一起，我鼓励你深入思考和那个人在一起的含义。我在一段感情中呆得太久了，甚至在我内心深处知道我不应该结婚的时候结婚了。坚持下去看我是否能解决问题只会让离开变得更加困难和痛苦。早些时候撕开创可贴会造成伤害，但比不可避免的痛苦要小得多。工作和爱情—这是人们陷入并浪费大量时间的两个最大陷阱。
当你知道这段感情并不成功时，你还是在维持它—这是一个棘手的问题。我不会给你恋爱建议。我不知道任何人的个人情况，也没有资格告诉他们如何处理这样一个亲密的问题。这是我所知道的:处于一种共同依赖的关系中，由于害怕独处和重新开始，双方都不会离开，这将产生长期的负面心理影响。要考虑的变量有很多，比如一起养育孩子。但你也必须权衡所有的利弊，例如，在知道你们的关系不顺利的情况下，是为孩子坚持下去更好呢，还是让孩子远离父母的不良关系更好呢？有时候，人们加快事情的发展进程，因为我们所处的文化是，当事情变得艰难时，我们会促进彼此之间的关系。但是有一件事太难了，你不应该为了和某人在一起而那么努力。同样，不要给出建议，但如果你内心深处知道你不应该和那个人在一起，我鼓励你深入思考和那个人在一起的含义。我在一段感情中呆得太久了，甚至在我内心深处知道我不应该结婚的时候结婚了。坚持下去看我是否能解决问题只会让离开变得更加困难和痛苦。早些时候撕开创可贴会造成伤害，但比不可避免的痛苦要小得多。工作和爱情—这是人们陷入并浪费大量时间的两个最大陷阱。
You’re spending all of your time on entertainment and distractions - I watch Netflix. I drink alcohol. Sometimes I even do illegal drugs. I waste time. I blow entire days being lazy. I’m not a self-improvement robot, a puritan, or someone who will judge you for enjoying life and having vices. But let’s call a spade a spade. If you’re doing the work a job you hate, go home and watch Netflix nightly 3–4 hours, and drinking all weekend, you’re wasting your life. When you’re engaging in that level of entertainment and distraction, you’re trying to hide from something. You’re coping with something. As soon as you feel you need to do those activities instead of wanting to do them, you’re in the trap. I’ve been in that trap myself. And I escaped by finding something compelling enough that I no longer needed to fill a void. I found writing. For you, it could be a hobby, a side business, a new skill you want to learn, a means to build your knowledge. Again, not because you need to be some self-improvement robot to have a good life, but because a life comprised of hedonism in distraction is a waste. A life of all work and no play is also a waste. You’re smart. You know what I’m getting after. You can do both. Say you get up on a weekend at 8 a.m. You could do something positive and meaningful for a full 8 hours and still enjoy an entire evening after that. You could watch one less hour of Netflix and put it into a beneficial activity. This isn’t rocket science, but we hide and we cope and we distract because we’re so afraid of having to experience our life in full clarity, face our demons, and fully come to grips with the present moment. Many people suffered during the pandemic because they lost some of their outlets and had to spend time thinking about their life. If your life isn’t good without your vices, you’re not living a good life, period.
你把所有的时间都花在娱乐和消遣上—我看Netflix、我喝酒、有时我甚至会吸毒。我浪费时间；我整天都在偷懒。我不是一个能自我提升的机器人，不是一个清教徒，也不是一个会因为你享受生活和恶习而评判你的人。但让我们直言不讳。如果你做的是你讨厌的工作，回家每晚看3-4个小时的Netflix，整个周末都在喝酒，那你就是在浪费生命。当你在娱乐和消遣的时候，你在试图隐藏一些东西、也在应付一些事情。一旦你觉得你需要做这些活动而不是想做它们，你就陷入了陷阱。我自己也曾陷入过这个困境。我找到了一些足够吸引人的东西，让我不再需要填补空虚。我发现写作。对你来说，这可能是一种爱好、一种副业、一种你想学习的新技能，一种积累知识的方法。再说一遍，不是因为你需要成为一个自我完善的机器人才能拥有美好的生活，而是因为一个由分心的享乐主义组成的生活是一种浪费。只工作不玩耍的生活也是一种浪费。你很聪明。你知道我想要什么。你两者都可以。假设你在周末早上8点起床，你可以在整整8个小时内做一些积极和有意义的事情，然后仍然可以享受整个晚上。你可以少看一个小时的Netflix，并将这个时间投入到有益的活动中。这不是复杂科学，但我们逃避、应付和分散注意力，因为我们非常害怕必须以完全清晰的方式体验我们的生活，面对内心的恶魔，充分把握当下。许多人在大流行期间遭受痛苦，因为他们失去了一些赚钱的途径，不得不花时间思考自己的生活。如果没有恶习，你的生活就不美好，那么你的生活就不是美好的。
你把所有的时间都花在娱乐和消遣上—我看Netflix、我喝酒、有时我甚至会吸毒。我浪费时间；我整天都在偷懒。我不是一个能自我提升的机器人，不是一个清教徒，也不是一个会因为你享受生活和恶习而评判你的人。但让我们直言不讳。如果你做的是你讨厌的工作，回家每晚看3-4个小时的Netflix，整个周末都在喝酒，那你就是在浪费生命。当你在娱乐和消遣的时候，你在试图隐藏一些东西、也在应付一些事情。一旦你觉得你需要做这些活动而不是想做它们，你就陷入了陷阱。我自己也曾陷入过这个困境。我找到了一些足够吸引人的东西，让我不再需要填补空虚。我发现写作。对你来说，这可能是一种爱好、一种副业、一种你想学习的新技能，一种积累知识的方法。再说一遍，不是因为你需要成为一个自我完善的机器人才能拥有美好的生活，而是因为一个由分心的享乐主义组成的生活是一种浪费。只工作不玩耍的生活也是一种浪费。你很聪明。你知道我想要什么。你两者都可以。假设你在周末早上8点起床，你可以在整整8个小时内做一些积极和有意义的事情，然后仍然可以享受整个晚上。你可以少看一个小时的Netflix，并将这个时间投入到有益的活动中。这不是复杂科学，但我们逃避、应付和分散注意力，因为我们非常害怕必须以完全清晰的方式体验我们的生活，面对内心的恶魔，充分把握当下。许多人在大流行期间遭受痛苦，因为他们失去了一些赚钱的途径，不得不花时间思考自己的生活。如果没有恶习，你的生活就不美好，那么你的生活就不是美好的。
You give too much of your time to people who don’t deserve it Learning to say no is a superpower. We feel this guilt and obligation to freely give away our time and often people don’t deserve it. A line I like to use, “I just can’t make that a priority.” That frx lets both you and the other person know that you’re conscious about what matters in your life. It’s not that certain opportunities aren’t cool or that you wouldn’t like to do them, but you just can’t prioritize everything at once. Most people suffer not because of a lack of time management, but a lack of priority management. When you treat everything equally, nothing truly gets done. When you give your time away freely because you want everyone to like you, fewer people love you. If you look at a ‘wasted’ life, you’ll see a long, long, long, long series of tiny concessions — saying yes to things that don’t matter until it builds this inertia in your life where you’re trapped by all your obligations.
你把太多的时间花在了那些不值得的人身上—塞内卡族（位于纽约西部）有这样一句名言[插入名言]。学会说不是一种超能力。我们会感到内疚和义务去自由地付出我们的时间，但通常人们付出的时间都是不值得付出的。我喜欢用这样一句话：“我就是不能把它作为优先考虑的事情。”这个框架让你和另一个人都知道你意识到生活中重要的事情。这并不是说某些机会不酷或者你不想去做，而是你不能一下子把每件事都放在首位。大多数人的痛苦不是因为缺乏时间管理，而是因为缺乏优先级管理。当你平等地对待每件事时，什么事情也做不成。当你因为希望每个人都喜欢你而自由地抽出时间时，爱你的人就更少了。如果你看到一个“浪费”的人生，你会看到一个漫长的、漫长的、漫长的、一系列微小的让步—对那些无关紧要的事情说“是”，直到它在你的生活中形成惯性，你被所有的义务所束缚。
你把太多的时间花在了那些不值得的人身上—塞内卡族（位于纽约西部）有这样一句名言[插入名言]。学会说不是一种超能力。我们会感到内疚和义务去自由地付出我们的时间，但通常人们付出的时间都是不值得付出的。我喜欢用这样一句话：“我就是不能把它作为优先考虑的事情。”这个框架让你和另一个人都知道你意识到生活中重要的事情。这并不是说某些机会不酷或者你不想去做，而是你不能一下子把每件事都放在首位。大多数人的痛苦不是因为缺乏时间管理，而是因为缺乏优先级管理。当你平等地对待每件事时，什么事情也做不成。当你因为希望每个人都喜欢你而自由地抽出时间时，爱你的人就更少了。如果你看到一个“浪费”的人生，你会看到一个漫长的、漫长的、漫长的、一系列微小的让步—对那些无关紧要的事情说“是”，直到它在你的生活中形成惯性，你被所有的义务所束缚。
You base your actions more on what others think than what you want - If you disagree with this post, you should probably just click away and go about your life, yet some people will comment. Why? Because they don’t mind giving away their time based on someone else’s opinion. If you look at the life of someone who’s wasted time, wasted relationships, wasted their work, wasted energy on distractions, you see the common thread of fear. Fear of not fitting in, fear of social rejection, fear of lowered status in the tribe. You care because your brain is wired to care, but you can fight that wiring. Your parents don’t approve of your career choices? Well, as much as you love them, their opinion doesn’t matter because they’re not living your life. Society doesn’t approve of your choices? Well, I’ll keep in short in saying that ‘society’ is not the friend of individual success by any stretch of the imagination. Your friends and peers are naysayers? They’re naysayers because they can’t do it, not because they don’t think you can do it. Ultimately, when you decide to live your life on your terms and march to the beat of your own drummer you reflect people’s insecurities back onto them. You’re a mirror showing them what they could be but aren’t willing to do the work required to be. The weight of their insecurities is theirs to bear though, not yours. You’re only responsible for yourself, your family, and the people you care about most. And your ability to be your fullest self does impact those relationships. That’s the classic mistake people make — shrinking because they think it’ll help others. Your children don’t want you to shrink and become martyrs for them. They want to see you living boldly, making mistakes, and getting back up anyway. You’ll be able to be more present and caring with the people you love when you meet your own needs first. Society as a whole is better off with you finding your path and being happy . Do what you want to do. Not what society, your friends, your family, or even I want you to do.
你的行动更多地基于别人的想法，而不是你想要的—如果你不赞成，你可能应该点击退出，继续你的生活，然而有些人会评论。为什么？因为他们不介意根据别人的意见浪费时间。如果你看看那些浪费时间、浪费关系、浪费工作、浪费精力在分心上的人的生活，你会发现恐惧的共同线索：害怕不适应，害怕被社会排斥，害怕在群体中地位低下。你在乎是因为你的大脑天生就在乎，但你可以对抗这种在乎。你父母不赞成你的职业选择？好吧，尽管你很爱他们，他们的意见并不重要，因为他们不会过你的生活。社会不赞成你的选择？好吧，我直白地说，“社会”不是任何想象中个人成功的朋友。你的朋友和同龄人都是反对者？他们之所以反对，是因为他们做不到，而不是因为他们认为你做不到。最终，当你决定按照自己的方式生活，按照自己的节奏前进时，你会把人们的不安全感反映到他们身上。你是一面镜子，向他们展示他们可以成为什么样的人，但他们不愿意做需要做的工作。然而，他们的不安全感是他们自己的负担，而不是你的。你只对自己、家人和你最关心的人负责。而你成为最完整自我的能力确实会影响这些关系。这是人们犯的典型错误—退缩，因为他们认为这会帮助别人。你的孩子不希望你退缩，成为他们的殉道者。他们希望看到你勇敢地生活，犯错误，无论如何都要重新站起来。当你首先满足自己的需求时，你将能够更多关心你所爱的人。社会作为一个整体，如果你能找到自己的道路并感到快乐，那会更好。做你想做的事，不是做那些社会，你的朋友，你的家人，甚至我想要你做的。
你的行动更多地基于别人的想法，而不是你想要的—如果你不赞成，你可能应该点击退出，继续你的生活，然而有些人会评论。为什么？因为他们不介意根据别人的意见浪费时间。如果你看看那些浪费时间、浪费关系、浪费工作、浪费精力在分心上的人的生活，你会发现恐惧的共同线索：害怕不适应，害怕被社会排斥，害怕在群体中地位低下。你在乎是因为你的大脑天生就在乎，但你可以对抗这种在乎。你父母不赞成你的职业选择？好吧，尽管你很爱他们，他们的意见并不重要，因为他们不会过你的生活。社会不赞成你的选择？好吧，我直白地说，“社会”不是任何想象中个人成功的朋友。你的朋友和同龄人都是反对者？他们之所以反对，是因为他们做不到，而不是因为他们认为你做不到。最终，当你决定按照自己的方式生活，按照自己的节奏前进时，你会把人们的不安全感反映到他们身上。你是一面镜子，向他们展示他们可以成为什么样的人，但他们不愿意做需要做的工作。然而，他们的不安全感是他们自己的负担，而不是你的。你只对自己、家人和你最关心的人负责。而你成为最完整自我的能力确实会影响这些关系。这是人们犯的典型错误—退缩，因为他们认为这会帮助别人。你的孩子不希望你退缩，成为他们的殉道者。他们希望看到你勇敢地生活，犯错误，无论如何都要重新站起来。当你首先满足自己的需求时，你将能够更多关心你所爱的人。社会作为一个整体，如果你能找到自己的道路并感到快乐，那会更好。做你想做的事，不是做那些社会，你的朋友，你的家人，甚至我想要你做的。
Arella Hsiao, Talk psychology to me.
小阿蕾拉，跟我谈谈心理学。
小阿蕾拉，跟我谈谈心理学。
Rumination - the act of overthinking or over-obsessing a negative event such as life, work, relationship and so on.
Solution - Positive Distraction (socialize with friend, gym, hang with friends.
Inability to set tangible goals - No goal means no motivation. No motivation means no drive. No drive means staying the same while everyone is moving forward.
Solution - Think of 3 long term goals and 3 short term goals, then work on the steps to achieving that.
Drug/Substance abuse - Constant abuse of drugs and substances is incredibly unhealthy both physically and mentally.
Solution - Research shows that you are more likely to overcome addiction if it’s intrinsic (I can do it) than extrinsic (some organization workshop)
Not willing to step out of your comfort zone - Countless opportunities awaits for those that are willing to step out. It can be frightening and it can be uncomfortable. But do you really want to stay the “same” 5 years down or improve yourself and take those risks?
Solution - Do something that you don’t typically do weekly. Challenge yourself.
Self-handicapping - cognitive strategy by which people avoid effort in the hopes of keeping potential failure from hurting self-esteem.
Solution - Go for mastery. Learn for your own personal benefits rather for the satisfaction of others.
Social Media Addiction - Do you honestly need to know what your “friends” are doing 24/7? People tend to only post their best while never showing their worst. This offers an unrealistic expectation of life when you compare it to your own.
Solution - There are recent research showing the depression is lixed to social media addiction. Just dexe those apps. It’s a couple clicks away.
沉思—过度思考或过分沉迷于消极事件的行为，如生活、工作、关系等。
解决方案—积极分散注意力（与朋友进行社交、健身、与朋友闲逛）。
无法设定切实的目标—没有目标意味着没有积极性。没有积极性意味着没有动力。没有动力意味着在每个人都在前进的时候保持不变。
解决方案—考虑3个长期目标和3个短期目标，然后制定实现这些目标的步骤。
药物/物质滥用—持续滥用药物和物质对身体和精神都极不健康。
解决方案—研究表明，如果上瘾是内在的（我能做到），你更有可能克服上瘾，而不是外在的（一些组织研讨会）
不愿意走出你的舒适区—无数的机会等待着那些愿意走出的人。这可能是可怕的，也可能是不舒服的。但你真的想保持5年“不变”，还是提高自己—冒这些风险？
解决方案—做一些你通常每周都不会做的事情，挑战自己。
自我设限—认知策略，通过这种策略，人们避免做出努力，希望避免潜在的失败而伤害到自尊。
解决方案—努力掌握：学习是为了自己的利益，而不是为了让他人满意。
社交媒体成瘾—你真的需要知道你的“朋友”全天候在做什么吗？人们倾向于只发布他们最好的一面，而从不展示他们最差的一面。当你将其与自己的相比时，这提供了一个不切实际的生活期望。
解决方案—最近有研究表明抑郁症与社交媒体成瘾有关。只需删除这些应用程序，只需点击几下即可。
Solution - Positive Distraction (socialize with friend, gym, hang with friends.
Inability to set tangible goals - No goal means no motivation. No motivation means no drive. No drive means staying the same while everyone is moving forward.
Solution - Think of 3 long term goals and 3 short term goals, then work on the steps to achieving that.
Drug/Substance abuse - Constant abuse of drugs and substances is incredibly unhealthy both physically and mentally.
Solution - Research shows that you are more likely to overcome addiction if it’s intrinsic (I can do it) than extrinsic (some organization workshop)
Not willing to step out of your comfort zone - Countless opportunities awaits for those that are willing to step out. It can be frightening and it can be uncomfortable. But do you really want to stay the “same” 5 years down or improve yourself and take those risks?
Solution - Do something that you don’t typically do weekly. Challenge yourself.
Self-handicapping - cognitive strategy by which people avoid effort in the hopes of keeping potential failure from hurting self-esteem.
Solution - Go for mastery. Learn for your own personal benefits rather for the satisfaction of others.
Social Media Addiction - Do you honestly need to know what your “friends” are doing 24/7? People tend to only post their best while never showing their worst. This offers an unrealistic expectation of life when you compare it to your own.
Solution - There are recent research showing the depression is lixed to social media addiction. Just dexe those apps. It’s a couple clicks away.
沉思—过度思考或过分沉迷于消极事件的行为，如生活、工作、关系等。
解决方案—积极分散注意力（与朋友进行社交、健身、与朋友闲逛）。
无法设定切实的目标—没有目标意味着没有积极性。没有积极性意味着没有动力。没有动力意味着在每个人都在前进的时候保持不变。
解决方案—考虑3个长期目标和3个短期目标，然后制定实现这些目标的步骤。
药物/物质滥用—持续滥用药物和物质对身体和精神都极不健康。
解决方案—研究表明，如果上瘾是内在的（我能做到），你更有可能克服上瘾，而不是外在的（一些组织研讨会）
不愿意走出你的舒适区—无数的机会等待着那些愿意走出的人。这可能是可怕的，也可能是不舒服的。但你真的想保持5年“不变”，还是提高自己—冒这些风险？
解决方案—做一些你通常每周都不会做的事情，挑战自己。
自我设限—认知策略，通过这种策略，人们避免做出努力，希望避免潜在的失败而伤害到自尊。
解决方案—努力掌握：学习是为了自己的利益，而不是为了让他人满意。
社交媒体成瘾—你真的需要知道你的“朋友”全天候在做什么吗？人们倾向于只发布他们最好的一面，而从不展示他们最差的一面。当你将其与自己的相比时，这提供了一个不切实际的生活期望。
解决方案—最近有研究表明抑郁症与社交媒体成瘾有关。只需删除这些应用程序，只需点击几下即可。
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