在中国，同居关系普遍吗？（上）
正文翻译
同居
同居
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Danrin Kensuke
Thanks for the requesting, but in fact I’m neither Chinese nor have I lived in the country yet. So I’ll share with you what little knowledge I have as regards the matter you’re wondering.
Well, as fr as I searched on the Net, a certain number of educated Chinese youngsters establishing a career in the city enjoy cohabitation with their partners while remaining legally single so they can ascertain their lover is truly trustable and worthy of a legal marital relationship. Learning from why the country’s divorce rate remains high, they now avoid recklessly tying the knot so hurriedly as to end in a constant discord and dissatisfaction and an eventual divorce.
谢邀，但事实上我既不是中国人，也没有在中国生活过。因此，我将与您分享我对您想知道的问题的了解。
嗯，据我在网上的搜索，一些受过教育的中国年轻人会在城市里创业，他们享受与伴侣同居的同时保持合法的单身的生活，这样他们可以确定他们的爱人是否是真正值得信任的，值得合法的婚姻关系。吸取了该国离婚率居高不下的教训，他们现在正避免鲁莽地仓促结婚，然后以不断的不和和不满告终并最终离婚。
Thanks for the requesting, but in fact I’m neither Chinese nor have I lived in the country yet. So I’ll share with you what little knowledge I have as regards the matter you’re wondering.
Well, as fr as I searched on the Net, a certain number of educated Chinese youngsters establishing a career in the city enjoy cohabitation with their partners while remaining legally single so they can ascertain their lover is truly trustable and worthy of a legal marital relationship. Learning from why the country’s divorce rate remains high, they now avoid recklessly tying the knot so hurriedly as to end in a constant discord and dissatisfaction and an eventual divorce.
谢邀，但事实上我既不是中国人，也没有在中国生活过。因此，我将与您分享我对您想知道的问题的了解。
嗯，据我在网上的搜索，一些受过教育的中国年轻人会在城市里创业，他们享受与伴侣同居的同时保持合法的单身的生活，这样他们可以确定他们的爱人是否是真正值得信任的，值得合法的婚姻关系。吸取了该国离婚率居高不下的教训，他们现在正避免鲁莽地仓促结婚，然后以不断的不和和不满告终并最终离婚。
In contrast, such an extremely modern, posh practice is rarely seen in the countryside of the country even today. This results mainly from the ubiquitous, universal tendency of the agricultural area that obliges its young dwellers to marry and produce heirs as early as possible and the afflicting poverty rampant in such areas.
相比之下，即使在今天，这样一种极其现代、时髦的做法在该国农村也很少见到。这主要是由于农业地区普遍存在迫使其年轻居民尽早结婚和生育后代的普遍趋势，以及这些地区普遍存在贫困现象。
相比之下，即使在今天，这样一种极其现代、时髦的做法在该国农村也很少见到。这主要是由于农业地区普遍存在迫使其年轻居民尽早结婚和生育后代的普遍趋势，以及这些地区普遍存在贫困现象。
Jani Jalkala, lives in China (2013-present)
By far not as common as in western countries.
As soon as young adults graduate from colleges, they start facing pressure from their elders to find partner for marriage. Partly because of this, those who are “lucky enough” to already have girl/boyfriend upon graduation, tend to make it formal sooner rather than later.
远没有西方国家那么普遍。
年轻人一从大学毕业，他们就开始面临长辈们要他们寻找婚姻伴侣的压力，部分原因是那些“足够幸运”在毕业时就已经有了男/女朋友的人倾向于早一些正式结婚。
By far not as common as in western countries.
As soon as young adults graduate from colleges, they start facing pressure from their elders to find partner for marriage. Partly because of this, those who are “lucky enough” to already have girl/boyfriend upon graduation, tend to make it formal sooner rather than later.
远没有西方国家那么普遍。
年轻人一从大学毕业，他们就开始面临长辈们要他们寻找婚姻伴侣的压力，部分原因是那些“足够幸运”在毕业时就已经有了男/女朋友的人倾向于早一些正式结婚。
To the other direction are some differences compared to west.
Because of China’s housing policies, some already established couples are known to divorce to cheat the system rather than each other. They may still continue to live together.
China also has lot of migrant workers and students. This means that people get to mingle far away from what they call home, and may end up in situations where they want to live together ut cannot formalize their relationship until they return home, which may take long time.
与西方相比，在另一个方面存在一些差异。
由于中国的住房政策，一些夫妻离婚只是为了欺骗制度，他们可能还会继续生活在一起。
中国也有很多农民工和学生。这意味着人们会在远离他们家乡的地方混住在一起，最终可能会陷入这样一种情况：他们想一起生活，但在他们回家之前无法正式确立他们的关系，这可能需要很长时间。
Because of China’s housing policies, some already established couples are known to divorce to cheat the system rather than each other. They may still continue to live together.
China also has lot of migrant workers and students. This means that people get to mingle far away from what they call home, and may end up in situations where they want to live together ut cannot formalize their relationship until they return home, which may take long time.
与西方相比，在另一个方面存在一些差异。
由于中国的住房政策，一些夫妻离婚只是为了欺骗制度，他们可能还会继续生活在一起。
中国也有很多农民工和学生。这意味着人们会在远离他们家乡的地方混住在一起，最终可能会陷入这样一种情况：他们想一起生活，但在他们回家之前无法正式确立他们的关系，这可能需要很长时间。
China’s marriage law prohibits formal marriage for women under 20 and men under 22. There is some pressure to drop the marriage age to 18 for both genders. Remains to be seen if that goes through, and what implications it would have for marriages (and later divorces).
In rural villages, there are occasionally “shotgun weddings”. I recently attended a wedding party for a young sheepherder girl, who had spent time with her neighbor boy and got pregnant. Despite both being too young to formally register, they could hold the ceremonies according to local customs, and be married in eyes of the community.
中国的婚姻法禁止20岁以下的女性和22岁以下男性正式领证结婚，将男女的结婚年龄降至 18 岁存在一定压力。如果这一切得以实现，它对婚姻（以及后来的离婚）有什么影响还有待观察。
在农村，偶尔会有“闪婚（如因女方怀孕）”。我最近参加了一个年轻的牧羊女的婚礼，她和邻居的男孩在一起，后来怀孕了。根据当地的风俗习惯，他们也可以正式结婚。
In rural villages, there are occasionally “shotgun weddings”. I recently attended a wedding party for a young sheepherder girl, who had spent time with her neighbor boy and got pregnant. Despite both being too young to formally register, they could hold the ceremonies according to local customs, and be married in eyes of the community.
中国的婚姻法禁止20岁以下的女性和22岁以下男性正式领证结婚，将男女的结婚年龄降至 18 岁存在一定压力。如果这一切得以实现，它对婚姻（以及后来的离婚）有什么影响还有待观察。
在农村，偶尔会有“闪婚（如因女方怀孕）”。我最近参加了一个年轻的牧羊女的婚礼，她和邻居的男孩在一起，后来怀孕了。根据当地的风俗习惯，他们也可以正式结婚。
Parry Sun
It largely depends on who you ask and where you are asking but from my perspective yes. In large metropolitan area, it is expected for couples to cohabit before marriage. It is common for people to live together as romantic partners without being engaged.
Demographically it is more likely to see these couples on the younger end of the spectrum, although it is not unheard of for people in their forties, fifties or older to be in these relationships: very much like the west, perhaps more so, Chinese prefer to be legally married before engaging in child raising. Being younger or older means a person do not need to prioritize stability for children or prospects of children.
这很大程度上取决于你问谁和你问的地方，但从我的角度来看是的。在大城市，人们的预期中夫妻会在婚前同居，人们没有订婚就作为浪漫的伴侣生活在一起是很常见的。
从人口统计学的角度来看，尽管40、50多岁或更年长的人发生这种关系并非闻所未闻，但这类夫妻更可能出现在年轻人群体中。与西方非常相似，或许更为重要的是，中国人更喜欢在参与抚养孩子之前先合法结婚。年轻或年长意味着一个人不需要优先考虑孩子的稳定或孩子的前途。
It largely depends on who you ask and where you are asking but from my perspective yes. In large metropolitan area, it is expected for couples to cohabit before marriage. It is common for people to live together as romantic partners without being engaged.
Demographically it is more likely to see these couples on the younger end of the spectrum, although it is not unheard of for people in their forties, fifties or older to be in these relationships: very much like the west, perhaps more so, Chinese prefer to be legally married before engaging in child raising. Being younger or older means a person do not need to prioritize stability for children or prospects of children.
这很大程度上取决于你问谁和你问的地方，但从我的角度来看是的。在大城市，人们的预期中夫妻会在婚前同居，人们没有订婚就作为浪漫的伴侣生活在一起是很常见的。
从人口统计学的角度来看，尽管40、50多岁或更年长的人发生这种关系并非闻所未闻，但这类夫妻更可能出现在年轻人群体中。与西方非常相似，或许更为重要的是，中国人更喜欢在参与抚养孩子之前先合法结婚。年轻或年长意味着一个人不需要优先考虑孩子的稳定或孩子的前途。
In smaller cities or countrysides it would be much less likely to see a lot of live-in relationships. People in small towns and countrysides are likely to be local. They tend to have large families with traditional values, as well as access to cheap or free housing in case of young adults living at home. They have less access to “free-spirited” mates and less pressing need to save rent money.
China has been changing fast and so are families and values. I am very curious what the new census have to say about the demographics, but I am very certain it is moving toward diversed relationships and living arrangements.
在较小的城市或乡村，人们不太可能看到很多同居关系。小城镇和乡下的人很可能是本地人，他们往往拥有具有传统价值观的大家庭，年轻人生活在家里也可以获得便宜或免费的住房。他们接触有“自由精神”伴侣的机会减少，节省房租的迫切需要也减少了。
中国变化得很快，家庭和价值观也在迅速变化。我很好奇新的人口普查对人口统计有什么看法，但我非常肯定，它正朝着不同的关系和生活安排发展。
China has been changing fast and so are families and values. I am very curious what the new census have to say about the demographics, but I am very certain it is moving toward diversed relationships and living arrangements.
在较小的城市或乡村，人们不太可能看到很多同居关系。小城镇和乡下的人很可能是本地人，他们往往拥有具有传统价值观的大家庭，年轻人生活在家里也可以获得便宜或免费的住房。他们接触有“自由精神”伴侣的机会减少，节省房租的迫切需要也减少了。
中国变化得很快，家庭和价值观也在迅速变化。我很好奇新的人口普查对人口统计有什么看法，但我非常肯定，它正朝着不同的关系和生活安排发展。
Annie Ruth Harrison, Lover of Chinese culture and history
Thanks for the a2a. While I love China, it’s history, it’s culture, and especially it’s people, I have yet to be able to live in China. But I hope to one day. So please understand that while I appreciate you asking my opinion, I’m giving an outsiders view.
From talking to those I know who live in China (mainland Chinese, born and raised, mostly over the age of 45) it is not common with those who are of middle age or older. Although the younger generation seems to be more accepting of co-habitation as time passes.
谢邀。虽然我爱中国，爱它的历史，文化，尤其是人，但我还没能在中国生活，我希望有一天可以。所以请理解，虽然我很谢谢你征求我的意见，但我只能发表一点局外人的看法。
从与我认识的中国人（在中国大陆出生和长大，大多45岁以上）的交谈来看，同居在中年以上的人中并不常见。尽管随着时间的推移，年轻一代似乎更愿意同居。
Thanks for the a2a. While I love China, it’s history, it’s culture, and especially it’s people, I have yet to be able to live in China. But I hope to one day. So please understand that while I appreciate you asking my opinion, I’m giving an outsiders view.
From talking to those I know who live in China (mainland Chinese, born and raised, mostly over the age of 45) it is not common with those who are of middle age or older. Although the younger generation seems to be more accepting of co-habitation as time passes.
谢邀。虽然我爱中国，爱它的历史，文化，尤其是人，但我还没能在中国生活，我希望有一天可以。所以请理解，虽然我很谢谢你征求我的意见，但我只能发表一点局外人的看法。
从与我认识的中国人（在中国大陆出生和长大，大多45岁以上）的交谈来看，同居在中年以上的人中并不常见。尽管随着时间的推移，年轻一代似乎更愿意同居。
People assume because emperors had lots of concubines and because Asian women are stereotyped as submissive and sexy, that casual sex is a commonplace thing there. But the common people of China didn’t have tons of concubines and stereotypes are often incorrect and based on ignorance.
在西方，人们认为因为皇帝有很多后妃，而且亚洲女性被刻板地认为是顺从和性感的，所以随意的性行为在那里是司空见惯的事。但是中国的老百姓并没有太多的妃嫔，所以成见往往是错误的，是基于无知。
在西方，人们认为因为皇帝有很多后妃，而且亚洲女性被刻板地认为是顺从和性感的，所以随意的性行为在那里是司空见惯的事。但是中国的老百姓并没有太多的妃嫔，所以成见往往是错误的，是基于无知。
It’s my understanding that during the cultural revolution there wasn’t a lot of sex education going on and a lot of marriages were arranged by families or by the communist party; so you may or may not have been in love with your spouse. And likely the sex Ed you taught your kids was, “don’t do it until you’re married or you may bring embarrassment.”
据我所知，文革期间性教育不多，当时很多婚姻是由家庭或党安排的，所以你可能爱上了你的配偶，也可能没有。你教给孩子的性教育很可能是“结婚前不要这样做，否则可能会带来尴尬。”
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
据我所知，文革期间性教育不多，当时很多婚姻是由家庭或党安排的，所以你可能爱上了你的配偶，也可能没有。你教给孩子的性教育很可能是“结婚前不要这样做，否则可能会带来尴尬。”
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
That doesn’t mean teens and university students didn’t do it. But it wasn’t and still isn’t as common there as it is in the western countries. There are monogamous couples that live together (Mostly in big cities; villages are still very conservative), there are men who keep “second wives,” mistresses or what translates to “little third” (as in third party of a marriage. Not a compliment). I’ve heard that some clubs or some KTVs have sexual activity taking place amongst high paying clients but my understanding is that prostitution is illegal there and pornography is censored. I could be misinformed, I readily admit.
但这并不意味着青少年和大学生不会这样做，只是同居在中国的过去和现在都不像在西方国家那样普遍。有住在一起的一夫一妻制的情侣（大多数在大城市；乡村仍然非常保守），也有些男人养“二奶”、情妇或“小三”（婚姻中的第三者，这不是恭维）。我听说一些俱乐部或KTV有卖淫活动，但我的理解是卖淫在那里是非法的，色情制品也被审查，我很乐意承认我可能被误导了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
但这并不意味着青少年和大学生不会这样做，只是同居在中国的过去和现在都不像在西方国家那样普遍。有住在一起的一夫一妻制的情侣（大多数在大城市；乡村仍然非常保守），也有些男人养“二奶”、情妇或“小三”（婚姻中的第三者，这不是恭维）。我听说一些俱乐部或KTV有卖淫活动，但我的理解是卖淫在那里是非法的，色情制品也被审查，我很乐意承认我可能被误导了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Many young people are driven to get a good education and they are expected to devote themselves to studying so they may not have serious relationships until university or after.
Sex isn’t a topic of public conversation like in the West. Its still a more conservative culture. And it’s one thing I appreciate about China, because I am conservative at heart.
许多年轻人都被要求接受良好的教育，他们被期望全身心地投入到学习中，所以他们可能直到大学或毕业后才能建立严肃的两性关系。
在中国，性不像在西方那样是公众谈论的话题。它仍然是一种比较保守的文化，这是我很欣赏中国的地方，因为我的内心就很保守。
Sex isn’t a topic of public conversation like in the West. Its still a more conservative culture. And it’s one thing I appreciate about China, because I am conservative at heart.
许多年轻人都被要求接受良好的教育，他们被期望全身心地投入到学习中，所以他们可能直到大学或毕业后才能建立严肃的两性关系。
在中国，性不像在西方那样是公众谈论的话题。它仍然是一种比较保守的文化，这是我很欣赏中国的地方，因为我的内心就很保守。
Jack Bohannon, Ph.D. Educational Leadership & Sociology, The University of Hong Kong (2021)
Yes and no, depending on how far they are with their parents.
Living together before marriage is NOT appreciated in the traditional Chinese culture, and many parents (especially those born in 1960s) would not encourage or allow their child(ren) to do it. So a common phenomenon is if young people live with or close to their parents, they are less likely to do it. The same is true even in big and modern cities such as Beijing, Shanghai or Shenzhen - I have lived in all of them.
是与否，取决于他们与父母的距离。
在中国的传统文化中，婚前同居是不受欢迎的，许多父母（尤其是上世纪60年代出生的父母）也不鼓励或允许子女这样做。因此，一个常见的现象是，如果年轻人与父母生活在一起或与父母亲住得较近，他们就不太可能这样做。即使是在北京、上海或深圳这样的现代化大城市，情况也是如此——我在所有这些城市都生活过。
Yes and no, depending on how far they are with their parents.
Living together before marriage is NOT appreciated in the traditional Chinese culture, and many parents (especially those born in 1960s) would not encourage or allow their child(ren) to do it. So a common phenomenon is if young people live with or close to their parents, they are less likely to do it. The same is true even in big and modern cities such as Beijing, Shanghai or Shenzhen - I have lived in all of them.
是与否，取决于他们与父母的距离。
在中国的传统文化中，婚前同居是不受欢迎的，许多父母（尤其是上世纪60年代出生的父母）也不鼓励或允许子女这样做。因此，一个常见的现象是，如果年轻人与父母生活在一起或与父母亲住得较近，他们就不太可能这样做。即使是在北京、上海或深圳这样的现代化大城市，情况也是如此——我在所有这些城市都生活过。
However, at the same time, for those who work and live far away from their hometown and their parents, many choose to live together with their boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s because they are more open-minded or liberal than their parents, and also to reduce the cost of living (more specifically renting).
然而，与此同时，对于那些远离家乡，远离父母工作和生活的人来说，很多人会选择与男朋友或女朋友生活在一起。这是因为他们比他们的父母思想更开放或更自由，同时也为了降低生活成本（更具体地说是租房）。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
然而，与此同时，对于那些远离家乡，远离父母工作和生活的人来说，很多人会选择与男朋友或女朋友生活在一起。这是因为他们比他们的父母思想更开放或更自由，同时也为了降低生活成本（更具体地说是租房）。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
In China, Millennials are the first generation who think it is okay to do so, and many are doing it. I’m curious when their children are old enough for them to face the same issue but as parents, would they be as cool about it as they are now.
在中国，千禧一代是第一代认为这样做是可以的，很多人都在这样做。我很好奇当他们的孩子长大到可以面对同样的问题时，作为父母，他们会不会像现在这样冷静地对待这个问题。
在中国，千禧一代是第一代认为这样做是可以的，很多人都在这样做。我很好奇当他们的孩子长大到可以面对同样的问题时，作为父母，他们会不会像现在这样冷静地对待这个问题。
Jon Huang, knows English
Straight answer : Yes, in my opinion.
But also no, in comparison with most western countries.
Maybe it will sound like a troll again by asking you define “common”or even better, quantify it?
Due to culture and tradition reasons, relationships in east Asia countries tend to turn into marriage at much greater percentage compare with European or North American.
Meanwhile due to rapid urbanization in China, younger generations no longer live at their hometown or with their parents. This make live-in relationship more flexible also essential so couples can support each other.
直接回答：在我看来，是的。
但与大多数西方国家相比，也不是。
也许这听起来像是在挑衅，因为你说的是“普遍”，该怎么去量化它呢？
由于文化和传统的原因，与欧洲或北美国家相比，东亚国家的两性关系更趋向于婚姻化。
同时，由于中国快速的城市化进程，年轻一代不再生活在自己的家乡或与父母同住，这使得同居关系变得更加灵活，这也是夫妻能够互相支持的必要条件。
Straight answer : Yes, in my opinion.
But also no, in comparison with most western countries.
Maybe it will sound like a troll again by asking you define “common”or even better, quantify it?
Due to culture and tradition reasons, relationships in east Asia countries tend to turn into marriage at much greater percentage compare with European or North American.
Meanwhile due to rapid urbanization in China, younger generations no longer live at their hometown or with their parents. This make live-in relationship more flexible also essential so couples can support each other.
直接回答：在我看来，是的。
但与大多数西方国家相比，也不是。
也许这听起来像是在挑衅，因为你说的是“普遍”，该怎么去量化它呢？
由于文化和传统的原因，与欧洲或北美国家相比，东亚国家的两性关系更趋向于婚姻化。
同时，由于中国快速的城市化进程，年轻一代不再生活在自己的家乡或与父母同住，这使得同居关系变得更加灵活，这也是夫妻能够互相支持的必要条件。
Ray Comeau, Been travelling to China since 2004
Thanks for request.
The best way I can describe it is that living together relationships are not uncommon in China.
It depends on many things :
Living in the home town or in a distant city
The type of tradition the family has
The age of the people involved (more acceptable as people mature)
The socio-economic standing of the people
I knew a few who lived together for a year or more before getting married
我能描述的最好方式是：在中国，同居关系并不少见。
这取决于许多因素：
生活在家乡还是生活在遥远的城市
家庭的传统类型
相关人员的年龄（随着人们的成熟，他们会更容易接受）
人民的社会经济地位
我认识几个在结婚前同居一年或一年以上的人。
Thanks for request.
The best way I can describe it is that living together relationships are not uncommon in China.
It depends on many things :
Living in the home town or in a distant city
The type of tradition the family has
The age of the people involved (more acceptable as people mature)
The socio-economic standing of the people
I knew a few who lived together for a year or more before getting married
我能描述的最好方式是：在中国，同居关系并不少见。
这取决于许多因素：
生活在家乡还是生活在遥远的城市
家庭的传统类型
相关人员的年龄（随着人们的成熟，他们会更容易接受）
人民的社会经济地位
我认识几个在结婚前同居一年或一年以上的人。
Tanner Wong, Free Works at News (2020-present)
That is a good question. My answer is Yes.
From the city I live in and my friends' circle, I can say a live-in relationship between an unmarried couple is pretty common in China especially among the young generation.
There is a term“先尝后买” means to try before you buy in Chinese. It describes the situation where customers can give it a try on a certain product before purchasing. It is interesting to note that this term derives a new meaning, “couples can try living together before marriage.”
这是个好问题，我的回答是肯定的。
从我生活的城市和我的朋友圈来看，我可以说未婚同居在中国很普遍，尤其是在年轻一代中。
有一个词叫“先尝后买”，它描述的是顾客在购买某一产品之前可以试用的情况。有趣的是，这个词衍生出了一个新的含义“夫妻可以尝试在婚前同居。”
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
That is a good question. My answer is Yes.
From the city I live in and my friends' circle, I can say a live-in relationship between an unmarried couple is pretty common in China especially among the young generation.
There is a term“先尝后买” means to try before you buy in Chinese. It describes the situation where customers can give it a try on a certain product before purchasing. It is interesting to note that this term derives a new meaning, “couples can try living together before marriage.”
这是个好问题，我的回答是肯定的。
从我生活的城市和我的朋友圈来看，我可以说未婚同居在中国很普遍，尤其是在年轻一代中。
有一个词叫“先尝后买”，它描述的是顾客在购买某一产品之前可以试用的情况。有趣的是，这个词衍生出了一个新的含义“夫妻可以尝试在婚前同居。”
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
However, I must say, a “live-in relationship” is an open-minded and new viewpoint of marriage. People who live in a conventional area with old beliefs still hard to accept this new opinion. They think a live-in relationship is wild, irreverent, and even a bit lascivious.
但是，我必须说，“同居关系”是一种开放的新的婚姻观。生活在一个有着旧信仰的传统地区的人们可能仍然很难接受这种新观点，他们会认为同居关系是疯狂的，不敬的，甚至有点淫荡。
但是，我必须说，“同居关系”是一种开放的新的婚姻观。生活在一个有着旧信仰的传统地区的人们可能仍然很难接受这种新观点，他们会认为同居关系是疯狂的，不敬的，甚至有点淫荡。
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