你有孩子吗?为什么有或者为什么没有呢（三）
正文翻译
Do you have kids? Why or why not?
你有孩子吗?为什么有或者为什么没有呢
Do you have kids? Why or why not?
你有孩子吗?为什么有或者为什么没有呢
评论翻译
Jeremy Glenesk
Why do people keep on telling me that I'm going to want kids when I get older? I'm 18, female, and have 3 younger siblings. I've babysat since I was 12. I know what kids are like, this isn't an uninformed thought.
Unfortunately, it’s just something you’re likely going to have to accept, because people will continually need to tell you how you are wrong about your own life choices, because they can’t possibly conceive of not wanting to have kids. Or worse, they get envious of your choice not to have kids, because you get to have so much more free time and money, and aren’t chained down by children, so they need to tell you this to re-affirm their own life choices.
Maybe you might change your mind one day, who knows? But chances are probably good that if you’ve spent a lot of time with kids, and you feel confident you don’t want children, then you probably will continue to not want children as you get older (I find my desire to not have children only grows over time). If you’re feeling feisty, you can tell them to shove their opinions where the sun don’t shine, or just simply ignore them and walk away.
为什么人们总是告诉我，我长大后会想要孩子？我18岁，女性，有三个弟弟妹妹。我从12岁起就开始照看孩子。我知道孩子是什么样的，这不是一个无知的想法。
不幸的是，这只是你可能不得不接受的一件事，因为人们会不断地告诉你，你对自己的生活选择是多么的错误，因为他们无法想象怎么有人不想要孩子。或者更糟的是，他们嫉妒你做出不生孩子选择，因为你可以有更多的自由时间和金钱，而且不会被孩子束缚，所以他们需要告诉你这些来重新肯定他们自己做出的人生选择。
也许有一天你会改变主意，谁知道呢？但如果你花了很多时间和孩子在一起，并且你确信自己不想要孩子，那么随着年龄的增长，你可能会一直不想要孩子（我发现我不想要孩子的愿望只会随着时间的推移而增长）。如果你感到烦躁，你可以告诉他们把自己的观点给别人去说，或者直接无视他们，走开。
Why do people keep on telling me that I'm going to want kids when I get older? I'm 18, female, and have 3 younger siblings. I've babysat since I was 12. I know what kids are like, this isn't an uninformed thought.
Unfortunately, it’s just something you’re likely going to have to accept, because people will continually need to tell you how you are wrong about your own life choices, because they can’t possibly conceive of not wanting to have kids. Or worse, they get envious of your choice not to have kids, because you get to have so much more free time and money, and aren’t chained down by children, so they need to tell you this to re-affirm their own life choices.
Maybe you might change your mind one day, who knows? But chances are probably good that if you’ve spent a lot of time with kids, and you feel confident you don’t want children, then you probably will continue to not want children as you get older (I find my desire to not have children only grows over time). If you’re feeling feisty, you can tell them to shove their opinions where the sun don’t shine, or just simply ignore them and walk away.
为什么人们总是告诉我，我长大后会想要孩子？我18岁，女性，有三个弟弟妹妹。我从12岁起就开始照看孩子。我知道孩子是什么样的，这不是一个无知的想法。
不幸的是，这只是你可能不得不接受的一件事，因为人们会不断地告诉你，你对自己的生活选择是多么的错误，因为他们无法想象怎么有人不想要孩子。或者更糟的是，他们嫉妒你做出不生孩子选择，因为你可以有更多的自由时间和金钱，而且不会被孩子束缚，所以他们需要告诉你这些来重新肯定他们自己做出的人生选择。
也许有一天你会改变主意，谁知道呢？但如果你花了很多时间和孩子在一起，并且你确信自己不想要孩子，那么随着年龄的增长，你可能会一直不想要孩子（我发现我不想要孩子的愿望只会随着时间的推移而增长）。如果你感到烦躁，你可以告诉他们把自己的观点给别人去说，或者直接无视他们，走开。
Jenna Miles
Did having a kid give you meaning in life?
It depends on what you mean by meaning.
If you mean my only meaning in life, or the overarching meaning of my life, then no.
If you mean one among many powerful meanings in my life, then yes.
My children have brought me some of the greatest joys of my life. But along with those joys have come some of the greatest challenges, disappointments, and tragedies. And if I’m being honest, the challenges, disappointments, and tragedies far outweigh the joys.
No matter how difficult you think parenting is, it’s ten times harder in reality. There’s a reason people without kids look so much younger and healthier than those with kids.
Your kids will not turn out the way you hope. You will not be the superior parent you imagined you would.
And one day, your kids will move away. And when that happens, you’d better have something else to give your life meaning.
None of that makes having children worthless. Again, parenting has brought my life some of its greatest joys. But parenting isn’t about yourself — it’s about supporting your kids in becoming the distinct-from-you individuals they’re bound to become.
有了孩子，你的生活有意义了吗？
这取决于你对意义的理解。
如果你是指我生命中唯一的意义，或是我生命中最重要的意义，那么没有。
如果你是指我生命中众多强大意义中的一个，那么是有意义的。
我的孩子给我带来了人生中最大的快乐。但伴随着这些快乐，也带来了一些最大的挑战、失望和悲剧。如果说实话，挑战、失望和悲剧远远超过了快乐。
不管你认为养育孩子有多困难，实际上要困难十倍。没有孩子的人看起来比有孩子的人年轻、健康，这是有原因的。
你的孩子不会像你希望的那样，你不会成为你想象中的优秀父母。
总有一天，你的孩子会离开。当这种情况发生时，你最好有其他东西来赋予你生活的意义。
这些都不会让生孩子变得毫无价值。再者，养育子女给我的生活带来了一些最大的乐趣。但养育孩子并不是为了你自己，而是为了支持你的孩子，让他们成为不同于你的个体，他们也一定会成为不同的人。
Did having a kid give you meaning in life?
It depends on what you mean by meaning.
If you mean my only meaning in life, or the overarching meaning of my life, then no.
If you mean one among many powerful meanings in my life, then yes.
My children have brought me some of the greatest joys of my life. But along with those joys have come some of the greatest challenges, disappointments, and tragedies. And if I’m being honest, the challenges, disappointments, and tragedies far outweigh the joys.
No matter how difficult you think parenting is, it’s ten times harder in reality. There’s a reason people without kids look so much younger and healthier than those with kids.
Your kids will not turn out the way you hope. You will not be the superior parent you imagined you would.
And one day, your kids will move away. And when that happens, you’d better have something else to give your life meaning.
None of that makes having children worthless. Again, parenting has brought my life some of its greatest joys. But parenting isn’t about yourself — it’s about supporting your kids in becoming the distinct-from-you individuals they’re bound to become.
有了孩子，你的生活有意义了吗？
这取决于你对意义的理解。
如果你是指我生命中唯一的意义，或是我生命中最重要的意义，那么没有。
如果你是指我生命中众多强大意义中的一个，那么是有意义的。
我的孩子给我带来了人生中最大的快乐。但伴随着这些快乐，也带来了一些最大的挑战、失望和悲剧。如果说实话，挑战、失望和悲剧远远超过了快乐。
不管你认为养育孩子有多困难，实际上要困难十倍。没有孩子的人看起来比有孩子的人年轻、健康，这是有原因的。
你的孩子不会像你希望的那样，你不会成为你想象中的优秀父母。
总有一天，你的孩子会离开。当这种情况发生时，你最好有其他东西来赋予你生活的意义。
这些都不会让生孩子变得毫无价值。再者，养育子女给我的生活带来了一些最大的乐趣。但养育孩子并不是为了你自己，而是为了支持你的孩子，让他们成为不同于你的个体，他们也一定会成为不同的人。
Donice Ortiz
At what age do children begin to lie?
My daughter started about age 3. The belief is that small children are truthful. This is far from the truth. Anyone’s mouth cut cross-ways, as my mom would say, can and will lie.
After picking her up from daycare, I asked her how was her day. She replied, “Please let me tell you the good part first.” I said, okay. She went on the tell me the good part of her day of which I was half listening. I anxiously waited for her to complete her story, I only wanted to hear what in the world could have made her day so bad that caused tears to pour out of her eyes and her to squeeze my neck so hard that I couldn’t pry her away. What in the world could have possibly wrecked my beautiful little girl’s day so badly? As she struggled to contain the sobs, her good story continued. Once completed. I commented about the good part then asked her to now tell me the bad part. Again, the sobbing immediately started. As tears were rolling down her face, tears began rolling down mine, baby, please tell me the rest of the story.
“Today (sobbing), we went to the pool, the big one.” She attended a university’s child care and swimming lessons were one of the extra-curricular choices. She continued, “I stepped off of the platform.” “The platform?” I quizzed. I didn’t know that inside of the Olympic sized pool a large platform was placed in a portion of the bottom so that shorter, smaller people would be able to stand to utilize it without fear of being overwhelmed with its depth. “Go on,” I said. “Well, when I fell off, I called for my teacher but she didn’t answer me. She didn’t even look at me.” “Hold me mommy, please hold me.” “I was so scared, she wailed.” I said, “Then what happened.” She continued, “She was talking to one of her friends and wouldn’t even look at me.” “I came back up, please hold me mommy.” “Please don’t make me go on.” By now I’m crying uncontrollably as I try to coax what happened from my baby. “Please finish,” I said to her. “
As soon as she finished, I tried calling the daycare. No answer. I looked for the teacher’s home number to call, found it, but no answer. For some crazy reason, my car was refusing to start. I’m in a total panic. Someone is going to answer for the experience my daughter had today. Do I wait to question the daycare or call the police? I placed the care of my daughter in someone’s hands whom I believed to be responsible and this is what she went through. Somebody is going to pay for this.
孩子几岁开始撒谎？
我女儿大约3岁开始说谎。人们认为小孩子是诚实的。这远非事实。就像我妈说的那样，任何会说话的人都会撒谎。
从托儿所接她回来后，我问她今天过得怎么样。她回答说：“让我先告诉你最精彩的部分。”我说，好的。她继续告诉我她一天中的好时光，而我却半信半疑。我焦急地等着她讲完她的故事，我只想知道到底是什么事让她过得很糟，让她的眼睛里涌出了泪水，她使劲地掐着我的脖子，而我无法把她推开。世界上有什么事情会如此严重地破坏我美丽的小女儿的一天？当她努力控制住哭泣的时候，她的故事还在继续，说完后，我评论了好时光部分，然后请她现在告诉我坏时光部分。又一次，哭了起来。当眼泪从她的脸上滚下来时，我的眼泪也开始往下滚，宝贝，请告诉我剩下的故事。
“今天（抽泣），我们去了大泳池。”她参加了一所大学的托儿所，游泳课是课外选择之一。她接着说：“我走下平台。”“平台？”我提问了。我不知道在奥运会规模的游泳池里，底部有一个大平台，这样矮小的人就可以站着利用它，而不用担心被水给淹没。“继续说哈，”我说。“嗯，当我摔倒的时候，我叫了我的老师，但她没有回答我。她甚至没有看我。”“抱着我，妈妈，请抱着我。”。“请不要逼我说下去。”现在，我在哄我的孩子说发生了什么事，无法控制地哭了起来。“请讲完，”我对她说。
她一说完，我就试着打电话给托儿所，没人接电话。我找老师家里的电话号码，找到了，但没人接。由于一些疯狂的原因，我的车无法启动。我完全惊慌失措。有人得为我女儿今天的经历负责。我是等着质问托儿所还是报警？我把照顾女儿的责任交给了一个我认为应该负责的人，这就是她所经历的，有人会为此付出代价的。
At what age do children begin to lie?
My daughter started about age 3. The belief is that small children are truthful. This is far from the truth. Anyone’s mouth cut cross-ways, as my mom would say, can and will lie.
After picking her up from daycare, I asked her how was her day. She replied, “Please let me tell you the good part first.” I said, okay. She went on the tell me the good part of her day of which I was half listening. I anxiously waited for her to complete her story, I only wanted to hear what in the world could have made her day so bad that caused tears to pour out of her eyes and her to squeeze my neck so hard that I couldn’t pry her away. What in the world could have possibly wrecked my beautiful little girl’s day so badly? As she struggled to contain the sobs, her good story continued. Once completed. I commented about the good part then asked her to now tell me the bad part. Again, the sobbing immediately started. As tears were rolling down her face, tears began rolling down mine, baby, please tell me the rest of the story.
“Today (sobbing), we went to the pool, the big one.” She attended a university’s child care and swimming lessons were one of the extra-curricular choices. She continued, “I stepped off of the platform.” “The platform?” I quizzed. I didn’t know that inside of the Olympic sized pool a large platform was placed in a portion of the bottom so that shorter, smaller people would be able to stand to utilize it without fear of being overwhelmed with its depth. “Go on,” I said. “Well, when I fell off, I called for my teacher but she didn’t answer me. She didn’t even look at me.” “Hold me mommy, please hold me.” “I was so scared, she wailed.” I said, “Then what happened.” She continued, “She was talking to one of her friends and wouldn’t even look at me.” “I came back up, please hold me mommy.” “Please don’t make me go on.” By now I’m crying uncontrollably as I try to coax what happened from my baby. “Please finish,” I said to her. “
As soon as she finished, I tried calling the daycare. No answer. I looked for the teacher’s home number to call, found it, but no answer. For some crazy reason, my car was refusing to start. I’m in a total panic. Someone is going to answer for the experience my daughter had today. Do I wait to question the daycare or call the police? I placed the care of my daughter in someone’s hands whom I believed to be responsible and this is what she went through. Somebody is going to pay for this.
孩子几岁开始撒谎？
我女儿大约3岁开始说谎。人们认为小孩子是诚实的。这远非事实。就像我妈说的那样，任何会说话的人都会撒谎。
从托儿所接她回来后，我问她今天过得怎么样。她回答说：“让我先告诉你最精彩的部分。”我说，好的。她继续告诉我她一天中的好时光，而我却半信半疑。我焦急地等着她讲完她的故事，我只想知道到底是什么事让她过得很糟，让她的眼睛里涌出了泪水，她使劲地掐着我的脖子，而我无法把她推开。世界上有什么事情会如此严重地破坏我美丽的小女儿的一天？当她努力控制住哭泣的时候，她的故事还在继续，说完后，我评论了好时光部分，然后请她现在告诉我坏时光部分。又一次，哭了起来。当眼泪从她的脸上滚下来时，我的眼泪也开始往下滚，宝贝，请告诉我剩下的故事。
“今天（抽泣），我们去了大泳池。”她参加了一所大学的托儿所，游泳课是课外选择之一。她接着说：“我走下平台。”“平台？”我提问了。我不知道在奥运会规模的游泳池里，底部有一个大平台，这样矮小的人就可以站着利用它，而不用担心被水给淹没。“继续说哈，”我说。“嗯，当我摔倒的时候，我叫了我的老师，但她没有回答我。她甚至没有看我。”“抱着我，妈妈，请抱着我。”。“请不要逼我说下去。”现在，我在哄我的孩子说发生了什么事，无法控制地哭了起来。“请讲完，”我对她说。
她一说完，我就试着打电话给托儿所，没人接电话。我找老师家里的电话号码，找到了，但没人接。由于一些疯狂的原因，我的车无法启动。我完全惊慌失措。有人得为我女儿今天的经历负责。我是等着质问托儿所还是报警？我把照顾女儿的责任交给了一个我认为应该负责的人，这就是她所经历的，有人会为此付出代价的。
Then I remembered the school’s secretary lived within walking distance of my home. So we walked to find out what had happened. Once arriving at his home, I repeated what my daughter had told me. His response didn’t help one bit. He thought, then said, “I thought something was wrong today.” He continued, “That teacher’s class was the last one to return for lunch. Everyone was a bit subdued, but no one said anything, not even the kids.” He went on to say, “After eating lunch, the kids were placed down for naps. I thought the quietness from everyone, especially the kids was strange. So this explains it, he said.”
This happened on a Friday. The teacher had gone out of town this weekend. For me, the weekend was a total blur. Monday couldn’t get here fast enough.
On Monday morning, I was there bright and early. I informed the office that I needed to immediately speak with this teacher. Once she came out, I asked her to tell me what happened on Friday. She said, with a slight smile, I’m not going to tell you anything, I’m going to let your daughter tell you what happened. She looked at my kid and asked her, did you get in the pool on Friday. My child answered, “NO!”
这时我想起学校的秘书就住在离家不远的地方。所以我们走过去看看发生了什么，一到他家，我就重复了我女儿告诉我的话。他的回答对我来说毫无帮助。他想了下，然后说，“我觉得今天有点不对劲。”他接着说，“那个老师的班是最后一个回来吃午饭的班。每个人都有点压抑，但没有人说什么，甚至连孩子也没有说什么。”他继续说，“吃过午饭后，孩子们被安排下来小睡。我觉得每个人，尤其是孩子们的安静很奇怪。所以，他说，这就是原因。”。”
这发生在一个星期五，这个周末老师出城了。对我来说，周末一片混沌状态，星期到来得太慢了。
周一早上，我很早就到了那里。我告知办公室，我需要立即与这位老师交谈。她一出来，我就请她告诉我星期五发生了什么事。她微微一笑，说：“我什么都不会告诉你，我会让你女儿告诉你发生了什么。”。她看着我的孩子，问她，你星期五进游泳池了吗。我的孩子回答说：“没有！”
This happened on a Friday. The teacher had gone out of town this weekend. For me, the weekend was a total blur. Monday couldn’t get here fast enough.
On Monday morning, I was there bright and early. I informed the office that I needed to immediately speak with this teacher. Once she came out, I asked her to tell me what happened on Friday. She said, with a slight smile, I’m not going to tell you anything, I’m going to let your daughter tell you what happened. She looked at my kid and asked her, did you get in the pool on Friday. My child answered, “NO!”
这时我想起学校的秘书就住在离家不远的地方。所以我们走过去看看发生了什么，一到他家，我就重复了我女儿告诉我的话。他的回答对我来说毫无帮助。他想了下，然后说，“我觉得今天有点不对劲。”他接着说，“那个老师的班是最后一个回来吃午饭的班。每个人都有点压抑，但没有人说什么，甚至连孩子也没有说什么。”他继续说，“吃过午饭后，孩子们被安排下来小睡。我觉得每个人，尤其是孩子们的安静很奇怪。所以，他说，这就是原因。”。”
这发生在一个星期五，这个周末老师出城了。对我来说，周末一片混沌状态，星期到来得太慢了。
周一早上，我很早就到了那里。我告知办公室，我需要立即与这位老师交谈。她一出来，我就请她告诉我星期五发生了什么事。她微微一笑，说：“我什么都不会告诉你，我会让你女儿告诉你发生了什么。”。她看着我的孩子，问她，你星期五进游泳池了吗。我的孩子回答说：“没有！”
Joanna Pecorella
Why isn't having children more widely considered to be a lifestyle choice?
I think many people do nowadays. There is less pressure to 'start a family' unless it's self-imposed. Also, with today's educational and work-related opportunities for women, many opt to wait until later in life to have children, by which time they generally would be absolutely convinced that they really want them.
Past norms and traditions put pressure on people to start their families early, even before being completely committed to the idea. There is also less criticism for those who choose not to have children at all if they do not feel cut out to raise children.
Being able to have children (biologically) does not in any measure qualify anyone to properly raise a child.
为什么生育孩子不被广泛认为是对生活方式的一种选择了？
我想现在很多人都是这样的认知。“组建家庭”的压力较小，除非是自己强加的。此外，由于当今女性的教育和工作机会越来越多，许多人选择等到晚年再要孩子，那时她们通常会完全确信自己真的想要孩子。
过去的规范和传统给人们施加了压力，甚至在他们完全致力于这个想法之前，要求他们尽早开始家庭生活。对于那些选择根本不生孩子的人来说，如果他们觉得自己不适合抚养孩子，他们受到的批评也会少一些。
能生孩子(生理上的)无论如何都并不代表其人就有资格好好抚养孩子。
Why isn't having children more widely considered to be a lifestyle choice?
I think many people do nowadays. There is less pressure to 'start a family' unless it's self-imposed. Also, with today's educational and work-related opportunities for women, many opt to wait until later in life to have children, by which time they generally would be absolutely convinced that they really want them.
Past norms and traditions put pressure on people to start their families early, even before being completely committed to the idea. There is also less criticism for those who choose not to have children at all if they do not feel cut out to raise children.
Being able to have children (biologically) does not in any measure qualify anyone to properly raise a child.
为什么生育孩子不被广泛认为是对生活方式的一种选择了？
我想现在很多人都是这样的认知。“组建家庭”的压力较小，除非是自己强加的。此外，由于当今女性的教育和工作机会越来越多，许多人选择等到晚年再要孩子，那时她们通常会完全确信自己真的想要孩子。
过去的规范和传统给人们施加了压力，甚至在他们完全致力于这个想法之前，要求他们尽早开始家庭生活。对于那些选择根本不生孩子的人来说，如果他们觉得自己不适合抚养孩子，他们受到的批评也会少一些。
能生孩子(生理上的)无论如何都并不代表其人就有资格好好抚养孩子。
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