为什么一些亚洲人不直接表达浪漫的感情
正文翻译
For some Asians, showing physical affection and love doesn’t come easy.
对一些亚洲人来说，用身体上的行为来表达感情和爱并不容易。
For some Asians, showing physical affection and love doesn’t come easy.
对一些亚洲人来说，用身体上的行为来表达感情和爱并不容易。
For some stereotypical Asians, expressing intimacy like holding hands, hugging and kissing feels hard and is both unnatural and uneasy.
对于一些刻板的亚洲人来说，表达亲密关系，如牵手、拥抱和亲吻等感觉很困难，既不自然又不舒服。
对于一些刻板的亚洲人来说，表达亲密关系，如牵手、拥抱和亲吻等感觉很困难，既不自然又不舒服。
Different people show love differently. Some people show love through open physical affection. Others don’t openly show love and show love through non-physical affection instead, which is what many Asians prefer.
不同的人表达爱的方式不同。有些人公开用身体上的行为来表达爱意。另一些人则不喜欢公开用身体上的行为表达爱意，而是通过非身体上的情感来表达爱意，这是许多亚洲人更喜欢的方式。
不同的人表达爱的方式不同。有些人公开用身体上的行为来表达爱意。另一些人则不喜欢公开用身体上的行为表达爱意，而是通过非身体上的情感来表达爱意，这是许多亚洲人更喜欢的方式。
All throughout school in Malaysia and Singapore, my Chinese-Malaysian parents wagged the finger at dating and romantic escapades. Physical contact with any classmate whom I fancied was frowned upon.
在马来西亚和新加坡上学的整个过程中，我的华裔马来西亚父母总是对我的约会和浪漫行为指指点点。和任何我喜欢的同学有身体上的接触都是不被允许的。
在马来西亚和新加坡上学的整个过程中，我的华裔马来西亚父母总是对我的约会和浪漫行为指指点点。和任何我喜欢的同学有身体上的接触都是不被允许的。
My parents themselves didn’t show physical affection openly between each other. My parents also didn’t say ‘I love you’ to me or hugged me as a kid.
我的父母彼此之间并没有公开用身体上的行为来表达感情。我的父母也没有对我说过“我爱你”，也没有在我小的时候拥抱过我。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
我的父母彼此之间并没有公开用身体上的行为来表达感情。我的父母也没有对我说过“我爱你”，也没有在我小的时候拥抱过我。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
When it comes to expressing love by the means of touch, at times we hold back because of what we’ve always known.
当我们用相互触碰来表达爱的时候，有时我们会因为我们一直都知道的原因而退缩。
当我们用相互触碰来表达爱的时候，有时我们会因为我们一直都知道的原因而退缩。
For some of us of Asian heritage, our conservative upbringing is one reason why we’re wary of physical romantic gestures. Our parents may have never advocated touchy-feely attitudes as something to be proud of. We may have grown up following a faith denouncing men/women/other genders as obxts of affection. Our religion might stress pre-marital sex and hence physical affection is taboo.
对于一些亚洲人来说，保守的成长环境是我们对身体上的浪漫举动持谨慎态度的原因之一。我们的父母可能从来不认为这种行为是值得骄傲的。我们可能在成长过程中遵循着一种信仰，这种信仰不提倡把其他男性/女性/其他性别当做是情感的对象。这种信仰可能不允许婚前性行为，因为身体上的感情是禁忌。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
对于一些亚洲人来说，保守的成长环境是我们对身体上的浪漫举动持谨慎态度的原因之一。我们的父母可能从来不认为这种行为是值得骄傲的。我们可能在成长过程中遵循着一种信仰，这种信仰不提倡把其他男性/女性/其他性别当做是情感的对象。这种信仰可能不允许婚前性行为，因为身体上的感情是禁忌。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
In Malaysia, collectivistic cultures are championed in the Muslim-majority country with codes of conduct around public displays of affection. For example, Muslim girls have been threatened with arrest after hugging K-pop band members.
在马来西亚这个穆斯林占多数的国家，集体主义文化受到国家的支持，在公共场合表达爱意时有着特定的行为准则。例如，穆斯林女孩因拥抱韩国流行乐队的成员而被逮捕。
在马来西亚这个穆斯林占多数的国家，集体主义文化受到国家的支持，在公共场合表达爱意时有着特定的行为准则。例如，穆斯林女孩因拥抱韩国流行乐队的成员而被逮捕。
Also, historically Confucianism patriarchy was advocated since the Eastern Zhou Dynasty. During the revolutionary Mao era, Chinese men and women were comrades and wore unisex army suits. They were not supposed to be lovers; intimacy was seen as a duty for procreation.
此外，在中国的历史上，儒教的父权思想自东周以来一直被提倡。在中国的革命时代，中国的男女们都是同志，穿着男女通用的军装。他们不提倡恋人关系，双方形成亲密关系是为了履行繁衍后代的责任。
此外，在中国的历史上，儒教的父权思想自东周以来一直被提倡。在中国的革命时代，中国的男女们都是同志，穿着男女通用的军装。他们不提倡恋人关系，双方形成亲密关系是为了履行繁衍后代的责任。
Accordingly another reason some Asians don’t openly show love is because showing physical affection feels embarrassing and foreign. It’s something we’re shy about, unfamiliar with or we don’t see as a respectful move towards the one we fancy.
此外，一些亚洲人不公开表达爱意的另一个原因是，用身体上的行为来爱意会让人感到尴尬。这是人们感到害羞的、不熟悉的事情，或者人们认为这不是对所喜欢的人的一种尊重。
此外，一些亚洲人不公开表达爱意的另一个原因是，用身体上的行为来爱意会让人感到尴尬。这是人们感到害羞的、不熟悉的事情，或者人们认为这不是对所喜欢的人的一种尊重。
Some Asians perceive love as acts of service. To many with the typical Asian mindset, love is more than hands all over each other. Love is practical and something that you willingly give your time for someone.
一些亚洲人认为爱是一种服务行为。对于许多典型的亚洲人来说，爱不仅仅是身体上的相互碰触。爱是更实际的东西，是你心甘情愿地为某人付出。
一些亚洲人认为爱是一种服务行为。对于许多典型的亚洲人来说，爱不仅仅是身体上的相互碰触。爱是更实际的东西，是你心甘情愿地为某人付出。
For instance, for many Asians love is putting food on the table and building for family. Many Japanese men work round the clock for a living to provide for their family and see their loved ones once in a while. One becomes familiarly acquainted with physical distance in the realm of love, and that is love.
例如，对许多亚洲人来说，爱是把食物放在桌子上，是为家人提供住所。许多日本男人为了生计夜以继日地工作，以养活他们的家庭，只能偶尔见见他们所爱的人。双方在爱的领域里习惯了身体上的距离，但他们认为那就是爱。
In this competitive world where many hardworking Asians have countless goals in life, romance and showing romantic intimacy might get put on hold as we better ourselves. These days many Asian women or ‘shengnu’ (剩女) women are embracing the single life, living independently, embracing their sexuality and doing without physical affection as they live the lives they want to live.
在这个竞争激烈的世界里，许多努力工作的亚洲人在生活中有无数的目标，一些表现浪漫的行为可能会被搁置，因为他们要抓紧时间提升自己。如今，许多亚洲女性(或称“剩女”)开始接受独立的单身生活，淡化自己的性取向，过着自己想要的生活，而不需要身体上的感情。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
例如，对许多亚洲人来说，爱是把食物放在桌子上，是为家人提供住所。许多日本男人为了生计夜以继日地工作，以养活他们的家庭，只能偶尔见见他们所爱的人。双方在爱的领域里习惯了身体上的距离，但他们认为那就是爱。
In this competitive world where many hardworking Asians have countless goals in life, romance and showing romantic intimacy might get put on hold as we better ourselves. These days many Asian women or ‘shengnu’ (剩女) women are embracing the single life, living independently, embracing their sexuality and doing without physical affection as they live the lives they want to live.
在这个竞争激烈的世界里，许多努力工作的亚洲人在生活中有无数的目标，一些表现浪漫的行为可能会被搁置，因为他们要抓紧时间提升自己。如今，许多亚洲女性(或称“剩女”)开始接受独立的单身生活，淡化自己的性取向，过着自己想要的生活，而不需要身体上的感情。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
That said, matchmaking is still common in Asia and some Asians don’t mind being set up with potential partners this way. If You Are The One is China’s top dating show and it sees male professionals facing off with single women. They women decide if the male bachelors are ‘date-worthy’ based on a series of interviews and talent stages.
尽管如此，相亲在亚洲仍然很普遍，一些亚洲人并不介意以这种方式与潜在的伴侣建立联系。非诚勿扰是中国最受欢迎的相亲节目，在节目中，男嘉宾和单身女性们展开了一场激烈的对决。她们会根据一系列的面试和男嘉宾的才艺秀来判断他是否“值得约会”。
尽管如此，相亲在亚洲仍然很普遍，一些亚洲人并不介意以这种方式与潜在的伴侣建立联系。非诚勿扰是中国最受欢迎的相亲节目，在节目中，男嘉宾和单身女性们展开了一场激烈的对决。她们会根据一系列的面试和男嘉宾的才艺秀来判断他是否“值得约会”。
Therefore, in Chinese culture courtship and playing hard to get is quite the norm before two parties get physical. At times the courtship phase is also a way to show someone you care about them and love them.
因此，在中国文化中，在双方发生身体接触之前，求爱和欲擒故纵是相当正常的。有时候，求爱阶段的表现也是一种表达你关心对方、爱对方的方式。
因此，在中国文化中，在双方发生身体接触之前，求爱和欲擒故纵是相当正常的。有时候，求爱阶段的表现也是一种表达你关心对方、爱对方的方式。
Quite commonly a Chinese person might have a set of standards they look for in a potential partner. If these are stickler of standards, it might be a while before one is comfortable showing physical intimacy. As philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said on loving someone:
中国人在寻找潜在伴侣时通常会有一套标准。如果这些标准都被严格的遵循，那么双方可能需要一段时间才能大方地表现出身体上的亲密。正如哲学家尼采在看待如何爱一个人时所说:
中国人在寻找潜在伴侣时通常会有一套标准。如果这些标准都被严格的遵循，那么双方可能需要一段时间才能大方地表现出身体上的亲密。正如哲学家尼采在看待如何爱一个人时所说:
‘There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.’
“爱情总有些疯狂。但疯狂也总有它的原因。”
Moreover, while the Chinese phrase ‘wǒ ài nǐ’ (我爱你) is translated as ‘I love you’, it is a phrase of formality and commitment. Thus it is not generally heard every day or used after a first date. Also in high context cultures such as Chinese cultures, people don’t say thing specifically but derive meaning and meanings of words from context.
此外，在中文里，“我爱你”是一个正式表达出自己的承诺的句子。因此，你一般不会在每天都听到这句话，也不会在第一次约会之后就使用这句话。同样，在中国文化等高语境文化中，人们不会明确地说出某件事，而是需要对方从语境中揣度出说话者的真实的想法。
“爱情总有些疯狂。但疯狂也总有它的原因。”
Moreover, while the Chinese phrase ‘wǒ ài nǐ’ (我爱你) is translated as ‘I love you’, it is a phrase of formality and commitment. Thus it is not generally heard every day or used after a first date. Also in high context cultures such as Chinese cultures, people don’t say thing specifically but derive meaning and meanings of words from context.
此外，在中文里，“我爱你”是一个正式表达出自己的承诺的句子。因此，你一般不会在每天都听到这句话，也不会在第一次约会之后就使用这句话。同样，在中国文化等高语境文化中，人们不会明确地说出某件事，而是需要对方从语境中揣度出说话者的真实的想法。
Not every single Asian is hesitant expressing physical love. Some are all for physical intimacy and public displays of affection at any time. Couples of Asian heritage holding hands are a common sight here in Melbourne. How each individual warms to one-on-one touch ultimately depends on what they believe in, the company they keep and their personalities.
并不是每个亚洲人都对用身体上的行为来表达爱犹豫不决。有些人也喜欢身体上的亲密行为和在任何时候公开表达爱意。在墨尔本，有亚洲血统的夫妇手拉手是很常见的。每个人是否愿意和对方发生身体上的接触最终取决于他们的信仰，他们的同伴和他们的个性。
并不是每个亚洲人都对用身体上的行为来表达爱犹豫不决。有些人也喜欢身体上的亲密行为和在任何时候公开表达爱意。在墨尔本，有亚洲血统的夫妇手拉手是很常见的。每个人是否愿意和对方发生身体上的接触最终取决于他们的信仰，他们的同伴和他们的个性。
Notably, physical affection can either be a manifestation of lust or a manifestation of true love. Showing affection can be a calculated move or an unconscious move. Either way, they tend to be moments we remember.
值得注意的是，用身体上的行为来表达爱既可以是欲望的表现，也可以是真爱的表现。表达爱意可以是精心策划的行为，也可以是无意识的行为。不管怎样，它们往往是我们值得回味的时刻。
值得注意的是，用身体上的行为来表达爱既可以是欲望的表现，也可以是真爱的表现。表达爱意可以是精心策划的行为，也可以是无意识的行为。不管怎样，它们往往是我们值得回味的时刻。
Physical affection is never the means to an end to any relationship in any culture. At the end of the day many of us long to connect with others not just physically but emotionally, as author Tahereh Mafi wrote:
在任何文化中，身体上的触碰都不是双方关系的最终目标。在一天结束的时候，我们中的许多人都渴望与喜欢的人建立联系，不仅仅是身体上的，更是情感上的，正如作家塔赫里.马菲所写的:
在任何文化中，身体上的触碰都不是双方关系的最终目标。在一天结束的时候，我们中的许多人都渴望与喜欢的人建立联系，不仅仅是身体上的，更是情感上的，正如作家塔赫里.马菲所写的:
‘All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.’
“我一直想要的就是伸出手去触摸另一个人，不仅仅是用我的手，还要用我的心。”
“我一直想要的就是伸出手去触摸另一个人，不仅仅是用我的手，还要用我的心。”
We might remember moments of affection because we believe these moments could very well bring us closer to someone for the reasons we hope.
我们可能会记住这些表达感情的时刻，因为我们相信这些时刻可以很好地拉近我们与某人的距离，而这正是我们所希望的。
我们可能会记住这些表达感情的时刻，因为我们相信这些时刻可以很好地拉近我们与某人的距离，而这正是我们所希望的。
For some of us, maybe we aren’t keen on physical affection because we’re shy, private and perceive love in other ways. Or maybe we’re inclined to wait because every bit of affection, given and received, is something special to us.
对于我们中的一些人来说，也许我们不热衷于用身体上的行为来表达爱，因为我们很害羞，并试图以其他方式来感知爱意。或者有的人更倾向于等待，因为每一点爱，无论是付出还是接受，对我们来说都是弥足珍贵的。
对于我们中的一些人来说，也许我们不热衷于用身体上的行为来表达爱，因为我们很害羞，并试图以其他方式来感知爱意。或者有的人更倾向于等待，因为每一点爱，无论是付出还是接受，对我们来说都是弥足珍贵的。
Do you show physical affection to the one you love?
你会用身体上的行为来对你爱的人表达爱意吗?
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
你会用身体上的行为来对你爱的人表达爱意吗?
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
评论翻译
Katie Kuo
Great post. I remember when I first met my now best friend, we would spend a lot of time talking but there was never any physical touch. It was only until we began dating that we’d start holding hands. It is definitely a sign of respect when men stay more distant in terms of physical intimacy until they are very close to someone.
好文章。我记得从我第一次遇到我现在最好的朋友时，我们会花很多时间聊天，但从来没有任何身体上的接触。直到我们开始约会，我们才开始牵手。当男人在身体方面对你保持较远的距离，直到你们的关系变得非常亲密，这绝对是一种尊重你的表现。
Great post. I remember when I first met my now best friend, we would spend a lot of time talking but there was never any physical touch. It was only until we began dating that we’d start holding hands. It is definitely a sign of respect when men stay more distant in terms of physical intimacy until they are very close to someone.
好文章。我记得从我第一次遇到我现在最好的朋友时，我们会花很多时间聊天，但从来没有任何身体上的接触。直到我们开始约会，我们才开始牵手。当男人在身体方面对你保持较远的距离，直到你们的关系变得非常亲密，这绝对是一种尊重你的表现。
Mabel Kwong
Your last sentence, yes, yes, yes. I respect men – and women – alike who keep their distance until we’ve known each other for a while. If you can’t carry a decent conversation at a distant, then it begs the question – why are you interested in that person? It could just be physical attraction
Very happy for you and your other half. It sounds like you have a great friendship and foundation
你的最后一句话说的很对。我尊重那些在彼此了解一段时间之前保持距离的男人和女人。如果你不能在远距离进行体面的谈话，那么这就引出了一个问题——你为什么会对那个人感兴趣?你可能只是被对方的身体所吸引了。真为你和你的另一半感到高兴。听起来你有很好的友谊和感情基础
Your last sentence, yes, yes, yes. I respect men – and women – alike who keep their distance until we’ve known each other for a while. If you can’t carry a decent conversation at a distant, then it begs the question – why are you interested in that person? It could just be physical attraction
Very happy for you and your other half. It sounds like you have a great friendship and foundation
你的最后一句话说的很对。我尊重那些在彼此了解一段时间之前保持距离的男人和女人。如果你不能在远距离进行体面的谈话，那么这就引出了一个问题——你为什么会对那个人感兴趣?你可能只是被对方的身体所吸引了。真为你和你的另一半感到高兴。听起来你有很好的友谊和感情基础
themofman
I definitely show physical affection toward my wife. More in private that I do in public but certainly in public too.
It is my perspective as a North American male without any Asian descent, that it is not easy to find a good woman who is willing to feel genuine respect for a man, to trust any of us and feel emotionally close enough to want to physically touch us. I find that men who show this need, and it is very much a need, are guaranteed to be openly laughed at and mocked as being weak by the women they desire, and their friends. Even when the women are repeatedly insisting that men should be more emotive, their actions speak the opposite.
The rejection and scorn hurts like hell, so we men keep all of our feelings inside. We don’t let it show that we care, that we desire, that we are emotive.
Women who dare touch us physically touch us, are exalted. It means so much, to sensible men that is, to achieve the affections of a good woman. It really makes us feel like we can make the world reverse on its axes.
我肯定会对我的妻子用身体上的行为来表达爱。我在私人场合会比在公共场合做得更多，但在公共场合肯定也会做。作为一个没有任何亚洲血统的北美男性，我的观点是，要找到一个愿意真正尊重一个男人、彼此信任、在情感上足够亲密到想要与我们有身体接触的好女人并不容易。我发现男人如果表现出这种身体接触上的需要，哪怕它确实是一种需要，肯定会被他们所喜欢的女人和他们的朋友公开嘲笑为脆弱。即便女性反复强调男性应该更感性，但她们的行为却恰恰相反。这些蔑视和嘲笑让人心痛不已，所以我们男人选择把所有的感情都藏在心里。我们不让它显露出来，就好像我们很急切，很渴望，很情绪化似的。那些敢于和我们发生身体上的触碰的女人是应该被尊敬的。对一个已经变得保守的男人来说，获得一个好女人的爱意义重大。这真的让我们觉得我们可以让世界倒转。
I definitely show physical affection toward my wife. More in private that I do in public but certainly in public too.
It is my perspective as a North American male without any Asian descent, that it is not easy to find a good woman who is willing to feel genuine respect for a man, to trust any of us and feel emotionally close enough to want to physically touch us. I find that men who show this need, and it is very much a need, are guaranteed to be openly laughed at and mocked as being weak by the women they desire, and their friends. Even when the women are repeatedly insisting that men should be more emotive, their actions speak the opposite.
The rejection and scorn hurts like hell, so we men keep all of our feelings inside. We don’t let it show that we care, that we desire, that we are emotive.
Women who dare touch us physically touch us, are exalted. It means so much, to sensible men that is, to achieve the affections of a good woman. It really makes us feel like we can make the world reverse on its axes.
我肯定会对我的妻子用身体上的行为来表达爱。我在私人场合会比在公共场合做得更多，但在公共场合肯定也会做。作为一个没有任何亚洲血统的北美男性，我的观点是，要找到一个愿意真正尊重一个男人、彼此信任、在情感上足够亲密到想要与我们有身体接触的好女人并不容易。我发现男人如果表现出这种身体接触上的需要，哪怕它确实是一种需要，肯定会被他们所喜欢的女人和他们的朋友公开嘲笑为脆弱。即便女性反复强调男性应该更感性，但她们的行为却恰恰相反。这些蔑视和嘲笑让人心痛不已，所以我们男人选择把所有的感情都藏在心里。我们不让它显露出来，就好像我们很急切，很渴望，很情绪化似的。那些敢于和我们发生身体上的触碰的女人是应该被尊敬的。对一个已经变得保守的男人来说，获得一个好女人的爱意义重大。这真的让我们觉得我们可以让世界倒转。
Mabel Kwong
It is refreshing to hear such an honest perspective from someone who is fond of physical affection. Sometimes women don’t mind working for a man’s affection, other times, well, they do. And men, sometimes they wonder if they should show physical affection or not towards the one they fancy. Love, it’s a guessing game.
You bring up the issue of trust there – without trust, usually there isn’t much room for welcomed physical affection. It is something that is often built over time.
从一个喜欢用身体上的行为来表达爱的人那里听到如此诚实的观点，真是令人耳目一新。有时候，女人并不介意为男人的爱而付出，但有时候，嗯，她们介意。而男人有时也会纠结于是否应该对自己喜欢的人用身体上的行为来表达爱。爱情就好像是一场猜谜游戏。你提到了信任的问题--没有信任，通常就不太会接受用身体上的行为来表达爱，这往往是需要长期积累的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
It is refreshing to hear such an honest perspective from someone who is fond of physical affection. Sometimes women don’t mind working for a man’s affection, other times, well, they do. And men, sometimes they wonder if they should show physical affection or not towards the one they fancy. Love, it’s a guessing game.
You bring up the issue of trust there – without trust, usually there isn’t much room for welcomed physical affection. It is something that is often built over time.
从一个喜欢用身体上的行为来表达爱的人那里听到如此诚实的观点，真是令人耳目一新。有时候，女人并不介意为男人的爱而付出，但有时候，嗯，她们介意。而男人有时也会纠结于是否应该对自己喜欢的人用身体上的行为来表达爱。爱情就好像是一场猜谜游戏。你提到了信任的问题--没有信任，通常就不太会接受用身体上的行为来表达爱，这往往是需要长期积累的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
lolaWi
a lot to do with culture, Mabel. I am a natural hugger.
这和文化有很大的关系，梅布尔。我就是一个天生喜欢拥抱的人。
a lot to do with culture, Mabel. I am a natural hugger.
这和文化有很大的关系，梅布尔。我就是一个天生喜欢拥抱的人。
Mabel Kwong
Sounds like you have a lot of love to give, Lola. You’re a very kind person.
听起来你有很多的爱想要付出，洛拉。你是一个非常善良的人。
Sounds like you have a lot of love to give, Lola. You’re a very kind person.
听起来你有很多的爱想要付出，洛拉。你是一个非常善良的人。
twobrownfeet
Hey Mabel! That’s quite an interesting set of observations. But, I do think times are changing. For instance, in Shanghai, couples walk hand-in-hand in parks and ‘love’ seems like a central theme of any youth cafe. In Seoul, the story wasn’t any different. We found both these cities to be ‘love-struck’ celebrating cute, puppy love. Kissing isn’t quite common, though. In that sense, there is a sort of reservation. I’m sure the older lot are quite conservative. In India, it’s not quite common to see people show there love. But, that doesn’t stop couples from indulging in PDA. Ironically, India and China, both, have the largest population in the world.
嘿，梅布尔!这是一个非常有趣的观察。但是我确实认为时代在发生变化。例如在上海，情侣们经常在公园里手牵手散步，而“爱”似乎也是任何一家情侣咖啡馆的中心主题。在首尔，情况也没有什么不同。我们发现，这两个城市都是“为爱痴狂”的城市。不过，公开的接吻并不常见。从这个意义上说，还是有所保留的。我相信老一辈的人都很保守。在印度，老一辈的人表达爱意并不常见。但是这并不能阻止情侣们尽情地秀恩爱。而且印度和中国都是世界上人口最多的国家。
Hey Mabel! That’s quite an interesting set of observations. But, I do think times are changing. For instance, in Shanghai, couples walk hand-in-hand in parks and ‘love’ seems like a central theme of any youth cafe. In Seoul, the story wasn’t any different. We found both these cities to be ‘love-struck’ celebrating cute, puppy love. Kissing isn’t quite common, though. In that sense, there is a sort of reservation. I’m sure the older lot are quite conservative. In India, it’s not quite common to see people show there love. But, that doesn’t stop couples from indulging in PDA. Ironically, India and China, both, have the largest population in the world.
嘿，梅布尔!这是一个非常有趣的观察。但是我确实认为时代在发生变化。例如在上海，情侣们经常在公园里手牵手散步，而“爱”似乎也是任何一家情侣咖啡馆的中心主题。在首尔，情况也没有什么不同。我们发现，这两个城市都是“为爱痴狂”的城市。不过，公开的接吻并不常见。从这个意义上说，还是有所保留的。我相信老一辈的人都很保守。在印度，老一辈的人表达爱意并不常见。但是这并不能阻止情侣们尽情地秀恩爱。而且印度和中国都是世界上人口最多的国家。
Mabel Kwong
“‘love’ seems like a central theme of any youth cafe” This is such a smart observation, Cheryl. There are also many love-themed places in Asia, like Disneyland and love sculptures here and there. We’re becoming more in tune with our emotions and romantic sides, perhaps.
Lol, that is so true, India and China have the biggest populations. Maybe some of us are really shy about showing affection in public
“爱”似乎也是任何一家情侣咖啡馆的中心主题，你观察得很细致，谢丽尔。亚洲也有很多以爱情为主题的地方，比如迪斯尼乐园和到处都有的爱情雕塑。也许，人们在公开表达情感和浪漫上正变得越来越习惯。哈哈，是的，印度和中国的人口是最多的。也许我们中的一些人真的羞于在公共场合表达感情。
“‘love’ seems like a central theme of any youth cafe” This is such a smart observation, Cheryl. There are also many love-themed places in Asia, like Disneyland and love sculptures here and there. We’re becoming more in tune with our emotions and romantic sides, perhaps.
Lol, that is so true, India and China have the biggest populations. Maybe some of us are really shy about showing affection in public
“爱”似乎也是任何一家情侣咖啡馆的中心主题，你观察得很细致，谢丽尔。亚洲也有很多以爱情为主题的地方，比如迪斯尼乐园和到处都有的爱情雕塑。也许，人们在公开表达情感和浪漫上正变得越来越习惯。哈哈，是的，印度和中国的人口是最多的。也许我们中的一些人真的羞于在公共场合表达感情。
Leya
As usual, a very interesting post, Mabel. This is a very good way of learning from each other and getting more understanding of other cultures. We should all be very grateful for your blogging!
I am a warm and affectionate person, with hugs and holding hands…but no kissing in public. All the rest is kept for me and my partner/husband. My parents never hugged or kissed when I was present.
To show affection and love is essential, but there is no need for excesses in public.
I could confide in my mother when I was young – she loved to listen to my stories after the dance – I went dancing three times a week – and we laughed and enjoyed the innocent stories. Dancing was very popular when I was young, and a natural way to come close to a boy/man. Dancing in those days meant to learn certain moves and steps and to perform them close to each other. You had to “follow” a man’s every move to the music.
I want to tell you about something that opened my eyes to the differences of culture. I had many “penfriends” when I was young. I guess they do not exist anymore, penfriends, – or have been transformed into what you and I are doing now over the net. Anyhow. one of my penfriends lived in Sri Lanka, and was a young girl, my age (15 about). We wrote about our “boyfriends”, holding hands and kissing behind the doors in our rooms. It was just that she was of a rich family, and had fallen in love with a lower class boy. In her letters she told me about all their secret meetings and their agony and pain. She wanted to run away with him…I thought it all sounded like an old romantic novel, something unthinkable for me here in my country. How could somebody be forbidden to meet the one they loved? How could something like “class” stop them from loving each other? Many tears fell over those letters…from her…
We lost contact over the years, but I kept thinking about how her life had turned out. In the 1980’s my husband (I got married 1978) went to Sri Lanka on vacation while I had to work. I provided him with the old address to this girl and he promised to try and find her – and send my love to her. And he found her! She was married and had two little children. Of course he could not ask her about the past, but I was so very pleased to hear that she now had a love and a great life.
像往常一样，这是一个非常有趣的帖子，梅布尔。这是一个很好的相互学习和了解其他文化的方式。我们都应该感谢你的博客!我是一个热情而感性的人，喜欢拥抱和牵手，但不会在公共场合接吻。至于其余的行为都要留给我的伴侣/丈夫。当我在场的时候，我的父母从不互相拥抱或亲吻。表达感情和爱是必要的，但没有必要在公共场合做得很过火。小时候，我可以向母亲吐露心声——她喜欢听我在跳舞后讲故事——我每周去跳三次舞——她总是笑着倾听这些在现在看来很天真的故事。当我年轻的时候，跳舞很受欢迎，因为这是一种很自然的接近男孩/男人的方式。在那个时代，跳舞意味着要学习一定的动作和舞步，并彼此依偎。我想告诉你一些让我看到文化差异的事情。我年轻的时候有很多笔友。我想笔友们现在已经不存在了，或者已经变成了像现在的你和我一样在网上进行交流。不管怎样，我的一个笔友住在斯里兰卡，是个小女孩，和我同龄(当时是15岁左右)。我们谈论我们各自的“男朋友”，谈论在我们房间的门后牵着手亲吻。只不过她出身豪门，却爱上了一个下层阶级的男孩。在她的信中，她告诉我他们所有的秘密会面和他们交往中经历的痛苦。她想和他私奔……我觉得这一切听起来像是一部古老的浪漫小说，这在我的国家是不可想象的。怎么会有人被禁止见自己所爱的人呢?“阶级”这样的东西怎么会阻止他们彼此相爱呢?她的信让我潸然泪下……多年来，我们失去了联系，但我一直在想她的生活会怎样发展。20世纪80年代，我丈夫(我于1978年结婚)去斯里兰卡度假，而我不得不留在国内继续工作。我把这个女孩以前的地址给了他，他答应尽力帮我找到她，并代我向她问好。他最终找到了她!她已经结了婚，并且有了两个小孩。当然，他不能问她过去的事，但我很高兴听到她现在有了美好的爱情和生活。
As usual, a very interesting post, Mabel. This is a very good way of learning from each other and getting more understanding of other cultures. We should all be very grateful for your blogging!
I am a warm and affectionate person, with hugs and holding hands…but no kissing in public. All the rest is kept for me and my partner/husband. My parents never hugged or kissed when I was present.
To show affection and love is essential, but there is no need for excesses in public.
I could confide in my mother when I was young – she loved to listen to my stories after the dance – I went dancing three times a week – and we laughed and enjoyed the innocent stories. Dancing was very popular when I was young, and a natural way to come close to a boy/man. Dancing in those days meant to learn certain moves and steps and to perform them close to each other. You had to “follow” a man’s every move to the music.
I want to tell you about something that opened my eyes to the differences of culture. I had many “penfriends” when I was young. I guess they do not exist anymore, penfriends, – or have been transformed into what you and I are doing now over the net. Anyhow. one of my penfriends lived in Sri Lanka, and was a young girl, my age (15 about). We wrote about our “boyfriends”, holding hands and kissing behind the doors in our rooms. It was just that she was of a rich family, and had fallen in love with a lower class boy. In her letters she told me about all their secret meetings and their agony and pain. She wanted to run away with him…I thought it all sounded like an old romantic novel, something unthinkable for me here in my country. How could somebody be forbidden to meet the one they loved? How could something like “class” stop them from loving each other? Many tears fell over those letters…from her…
We lost contact over the years, but I kept thinking about how her life had turned out. In the 1980’s my husband (I got married 1978) went to Sri Lanka on vacation while I had to work. I provided him with the old address to this girl and he promised to try and find her – and send my love to her. And he found her! She was married and had two little children. Of course he could not ask her about the past, but I was so very pleased to hear that she now had a love and a great life.
像往常一样，这是一个非常有趣的帖子，梅布尔。这是一个很好的相互学习和了解其他文化的方式。我们都应该感谢你的博客!我是一个热情而感性的人，喜欢拥抱和牵手，但不会在公共场合接吻。至于其余的行为都要留给我的伴侣/丈夫。当我在场的时候，我的父母从不互相拥抱或亲吻。表达感情和爱是必要的，但没有必要在公共场合做得很过火。小时候，我可以向母亲吐露心声——她喜欢听我在跳舞后讲故事——我每周去跳三次舞——她总是笑着倾听这些在现在看来很天真的故事。当我年轻的时候，跳舞很受欢迎，因为这是一种很自然的接近男孩/男人的方式。在那个时代，跳舞意味着要学习一定的动作和舞步，并彼此依偎。我想告诉你一些让我看到文化差异的事情。我年轻的时候有很多笔友。我想笔友们现在已经不存在了，或者已经变成了像现在的你和我一样在网上进行交流。不管怎样，我的一个笔友住在斯里兰卡，是个小女孩，和我同龄(当时是15岁左右)。我们谈论我们各自的“男朋友”，谈论在我们房间的门后牵着手亲吻。只不过她出身豪门，却爱上了一个下层阶级的男孩。在她的信中，她告诉我他们所有的秘密会面和他们交往中经历的痛苦。她想和他私奔……我觉得这一切听起来像是一部古老的浪漫小说，这在我的国家是不可想象的。怎么会有人被禁止见自己所爱的人呢?“阶级”这样的东西怎么会阻止他们彼此相爱呢?她的信让我潸然泪下……多年来，我们失去了联系，但我一直在想她的生活会怎样发展。20世纪80年代，我丈夫(我于1978年结婚)去斯里兰卡度假，而我不得不留在国内继续工作。我把这个女孩以前的地址给了他，他答应尽力帮我找到她，并代我向她问好。他最终找到了她!她已经结了婚，并且有了两个小孩。当然，他不能问她过去的事，但我很高兴听到她现在有了美好的爱情和生活。
Mabel Kwong
Dancing, love and intimacy. This combination didn’t cross my mind when I was writing this post, but you are so right. When we dance with a partner or a man, we are forced to work together, be close together – and ultimately we have to relish it in some way as it is consensual intimacy that often makes a good dance – not just a performance for others but for us to enjoy it too. Sounds like you were quite the dancer back in the day. Very talented.
That is such a lovely story of you and your pendfriend friend. She must have worked hard to keep her love a secret; that love must have meant a lot to her. I’m sure you said some encouraging words to her, and it is so nice to hear that she had a happy ending. I don’t know if your husband asked, but maybe she still remembers you until this day.
Hopefully one day we will all get to be the one we love. Sometimes others around us are concerned with who we love because they want us to be in good hands, good company, and a good future. The company we keep often defines who we are, as the saying goes.
跳舞，爱和亲密关系。当我写这篇文章的时候，我并没有想到这种组合，但是你是对的。当我们和舞伴或男人跳舞时，我们被迫一起跳舞，亲密地依偎在一起——最终我们必须以某种方式享受它，因为它是双方自愿的亲密关系，一个好的舞蹈——通常不仅仅是为别人而表演，也是为了让我们自己更享受。听起来你以前的舞跳得不错啊。你是一个很有才华的人。你和你的朋友的故事真是太美好了。她一定在很努力地保守着她的爱情秘密;那份爱对她来说一定很重要。我肯定你对她说了一些鼓励的话，很高兴听到她有一个幸福的结局。我不知道你丈夫问了她关于你的事没有，但也许她直到今天还记得你。希望有一天我们都能找到我们所爱的人。有时我们周围的人关心我们爱谁，因为他们希望我们能得到好的照顾，好的陪伴，美好的未来。毕竟我们的伴侣很大程度上将影响我们的未来。
Dancing, love and intimacy. This combination didn’t cross my mind when I was writing this post, but you are so right. When we dance with a partner or a man, we are forced to work together, be close together – and ultimately we have to relish it in some way as it is consensual intimacy that often makes a good dance – not just a performance for others but for us to enjoy it too. Sounds like you were quite the dancer back in the day. Very talented.
That is such a lovely story of you and your pendfriend friend. She must have worked hard to keep her love a secret; that love must have meant a lot to her. I’m sure you said some encouraging words to her, and it is so nice to hear that she had a happy ending. I don’t know if your husband asked, but maybe she still remembers you until this day.
Hopefully one day we will all get to be the one we love. Sometimes others around us are concerned with who we love because they want us to be in good hands, good company, and a good future. The company we keep often defines who we are, as the saying goes.
跳舞，爱和亲密关系。当我写这篇文章的时候，我并没有想到这种组合，但是你是对的。当我们和舞伴或男人跳舞时，我们被迫一起跳舞，亲密地依偎在一起——最终我们必须以某种方式享受它，因为它是双方自愿的亲密关系，一个好的舞蹈——通常不仅仅是为别人而表演，也是为了让我们自己更享受。听起来你以前的舞跳得不错啊。你是一个很有才华的人。你和你的朋友的故事真是太美好了。她一定在很努力地保守着她的爱情秘密;那份爱对她来说一定很重要。我肯定你对她说了一些鼓励的话，很高兴听到她有一个幸福的结局。我不知道你丈夫问了她关于你的事没有，但也许她直到今天还记得你。希望有一天我们都能找到我们所爱的人。有时我们周围的人关心我们爱谁，因为他们希望我们能得到好的照顾，好的陪伴，美好的未来。毕竟我们的伴侣很大程度上将影响我们的未来。
Chia
Yes, I show physical affection with my boyfriend and vice versa (us being tagged as a sweet couple). We hold hands, sing together, dance together, hugs and kisses, play around, etc,.
Your post is quite eye opening, because I always thought that people who doesn’t show physical affection to their loved ones are just basically not a sweet person (a character of a person). Now I would consider that maybe because of their heritage, tradition, culture.
是的，我喜欢用身体上的行为来对我的男朋友表达爱，反之亦然(我们被贴上了甜蜜情侣的标签)。我们手拉手，一起唱歌，一起跳舞，一起玩耍，拥抱和亲吻等等。你的帖子让人大开眼界，因为我一直认为那些不喜欢用身体上的行为来向他们所爱的人表达爱的人基本上不是一个开朗(性格)的人。现在我想，也许是因为他们的社会传统，文化等方面的影响。
Yes, I show physical affection with my boyfriend and vice versa (us being tagged as a sweet couple). We hold hands, sing together, dance together, hugs and kisses, play around, etc,.
Your post is quite eye opening, because I always thought that people who doesn’t show physical affection to their loved ones are just basically not a sweet person (a character of a person). Now I would consider that maybe because of their heritage, tradition, culture.
是的，我喜欢用身体上的行为来对我的男朋友表达爱，反之亦然(我们被贴上了甜蜜情侣的标签)。我们手拉手，一起唱歌，一起跳舞，一起玩耍，拥抱和亲吻等等。你的帖子让人大开眼界，因为我一直认为那些不喜欢用身体上的行为来向他们所爱的人表达爱的人基本上不是一个开朗(性格)的人。现在我想，也许是因为他们的社会传统，文化等方面的影响。
Mabel Kwong
You and your boyfriend are so cute. Sounds like the two of you are very much comfortable around each other, and the affection like holding hands come naturally. Even sing together. That is something and I am very happy for you two.
You are right. Some people don’t like to show physical affection because it is just not in their nature. The world is becoming more progressive and these days we are entitled to our own personal choices.
你和你的男朋友真甜蜜。听起来你们俩在一起感到很舒服，一起牵手，甚至一起唱歌。真是太棒了，我为你们俩感到高兴。你说得对。有些人不喜欢用身体上的行为来表达感情，因为这不是他们的性格。世界正变得越来越进步，如今我们有权做出自己的选择。
You and your boyfriend are so cute. Sounds like the two of you are very much comfortable around each other, and the affection like holding hands come naturally. Even sing together. That is something and I am very happy for you two.
You are right. Some people don’t like to show physical affection because it is just not in their nature. The world is becoming more progressive and these days we are entitled to our own personal choices.
你和你的男朋友真甜蜜。听起来你们俩在一起感到很舒服，一起牵手，甚至一起唱歌。真是太棒了，我为你们俩感到高兴。你说得对。有些人不喜欢用身体上的行为来表达感情，因为这不是他们的性格。世界正变得越来越进步，如今我们有权做出自己的选择。
Chia
Right the world has changed a lot now, but I also love to learn the what was, and how was of other Asian countries. Your blog is an ace for me for being so informative of Asian cultures, history, and tradition. My great grandfather is from China I wasn’t able to meet him, his son my grandfather died when I was still in pre-school and the culture/tradition has not been passed down to me that’s why I am curious of the what ifs.
是的，现在世界已经发生了很大的变化，但我也喜欢了解其他亚洲国家的历史。你的博客对我来说太棒了，因为它提供了很多关于亚洲文化、历史和传统的信息。我的曾祖父来自中国，我没能见到他。他的儿子也就是我的祖父，在我还在上幼儿园的时候就去世了，这些文化/传统都没有传给我，这就是为什么我对这些感到很好奇的原因。
Right the world has changed a lot now, but I also love to learn the what was, and how was of other Asian countries. Your blog is an ace for me for being so informative of Asian cultures, history, and tradition. My great grandfather is from China I wasn’t able to meet him, his son my grandfather died when I was still in pre-school and the culture/tradition has not been passed down to me that’s why I am curious of the what ifs.
是的，现在世界已经发生了很大的变化，但我也喜欢了解其他亚洲国家的历史。你的博客对我来说太棒了，因为它提供了很多关于亚洲文化、历史和传统的信息。我的曾祖父来自中国，我没能见到他。他的儿子也就是我的祖父，在我还在上幼儿园的时候就去世了，这些文化/传统都没有传给我，这就是为什么我对这些感到很好奇的原因。
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