QA:发生在你身上最悲伤的且从来没有和别人分享过的事情是什么?
2023-12-18 蜂鸟窝 2647
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Jaimi McEntire
It’s hard for me to write this. So please bear with me.
My brother Jon was born a little slow, and he had some minor deformities (six toes on one foot and six fingers on one hand). My mother says it was because she had German Measles (Rubella) while she was pregnant. He required braces on his legs when he was little in order to learn how to walk. He was goofy, and the other kids would tease him and make fun.
But when we were young kids, we didn’t know much about that kind of stuff, just that he was a little strange. He did and said some strange things as a kid - he liked to eat butter by the stick, for example. Thought it was better than Ice Cream. But he was our brother, and braces, butter craving and all, we loved him.

【回答】
我很难下笔。所以请大家多多包涵。
我的弟弟乔恩出生时有点迟钝,而且有一些轻微的畸形(一只脚有六个脚趾,一只手有六个手指)。我母亲说这是因为她在怀孕时得了德国麻疹(风疹)。他小时候需要在腿上戴支架才能学会走路。他很笨,其他孩子会取笑他。
但在我们还是小孩子的时候,我们并不太了解这些事情,只知道他有点奇怪。他小时候做了一些怪事,也说了一些怪话--比如他喜欢吃黄油。他觉得黄油比冰淇淋好吃。但他是我们的弟弟,戴牙套,爱吃黄油,我们都爱他。

He grew older, made friends with the local kids his age. One of his friends fathers drove a large truck for a living (an 18 wheeler). This became his ambition, he wanted to drive a truck for a living. It’s all he ever wanted to do. He listened to trucker songs. He watched TV shows like “BJ and the Bear”, etc. He was destined to drive a big rig.
And then, his eyes started getting worse. he was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa. His vision worsened over time. At first he wore regular glasses. Then, big thick lens (“coke bottle”) glasses. Then no lenses would help, and finally he was completely blind. His dream of driving a big truck died. But he persevered. He got married, had children. Got divorced. Got married again.

他渐渐长大,和当地的同龄孩子交上了朋友。他一个朋友的父亲以开大卡车(18 轮卡车)为生。这成了他的理想,他想以开卡车为生。这是他唯一的愿望。他听卡车司机的歌。他看《BJ 和熊》等电视节目。他注定要开一辆大卡车。
后来,他的眼睛开始恶化。他被诊断出患有视网膜色素变性。随着时间的推移,他的视力越来越差。起初,他戴普通眼镜。后来,他戴上了厚厚的大镜片("可乐瓶")眼镜。后来,戴任何镜片都无济于事,最后他完全失明了。他驾驶大卡车的梦想破灭了。但他坚持了下来。他结婚了,有了孩子。离婚。再婚。

原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


At this time, he was kind of a messy guy, and didn’t take too much care of himself. Like I said, he was a little strange. And to my shame, I was kind of embarrassed of him. I was full of myself in only the way that a young man can be. I had a good job, moving up, the world was my oyster - or so I thought at the time.
Jon would call me sometimes just to chat. Usually I’d be busy and put him off. Sometimes, I would chat for a minute, and then “need to go”. But he never give up on me. He kept calling.
One night, he wasn’t feeling well, and he called me. I’d been thinking about my behavior. And I was ashamed of myself for not making time for my brother. I picked up the phone, and we really talked. I apologized for my behavior. We chatted about family, talked about our childhood, the future. Laughed about the time I forgot he was blind, and I walked him into a post. We talked for a long time. We resolved that we would get together in the next few weeks when he was feeling better (he lived in a different town). I told him I loved him, and we hung up. I felt like a weight had lifted from me.

在那个时候,他有点邋遢,不太爱惜自己。就像我说的,他有点奇怪。让我感到羞愧的是,我有点为他感到尴尬。我充满了年轻人才会有的自信。我有一份不错的工作,步步高升,整个世界都在我的掌握之中--当时我是这么想的。
乔恩有时会给我打电话聊天。通常我会很忙,把他推掉。有时,我会聊上一分钟,然后说 "我得挂了"。但他从不放弃我。他不停地给我打电话。
一天晚上,他感觉不舒服,给我打了电话。我一直在反省自己的行为,我为自己没有抽出时间陪弟弟而感到羞愧。我拿起电话,我们真正聊了起来。我为自己的行为道歉。我们聊家常,聊童年,聊未来。我笑着说有一次我忘了他是盲人,把他带撞到一根柱子上了。我们聊了很久。我们决定,在接下来的几周里,等他感觉好些了,我们再聚聚(他住在另一个城市)。我告诉他我爱他,然后我们挂了电话。我感觉如释重负。

原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


The very next day his wife called from the hospital. She was really upset. He had died that morning. Septic shock, is what they later told us.
I was a wreck. I couldn’t even speak up at his funeral. I just sat there bawling.
That’s the saddest thing I’ve never shared with anyone. It hurts just to write this. I regret my behavior to this day, and still feel ashamed that I didn’t make enough time for him.

第二天,他的妻子从医院打来电话。她非常难过。他就在那天早上去世了。感染性休克,这是他们后来告诉我们的。
我是个废物。在他的葬礼上,我甚至说不出话来。我只是坐在那里嚎啕大哭
这是我从未与人分享过的最悲伤的事。光是写这些就让我痛苦。我至今仍为自己的行为感到后悔,为自己没有抽出足够的时间陪他而感到羞愧。

原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Anonymous
Well. My father always wanted a son. When my mother got pregnant, he explicitly told her that he is a well reputed man and that he can not have a daughter and if it's a daughter, it'll be because of my mother. (Scientifically this makes no sense but in my culture, giving birth to a daughter is a matter of shame.) As fate had it, it was a daughter. Me, my father looked at me and went home. Leaving my mother all alone. Even my grandparents left. My mother alone managed everything and the day she were to discharge, my father called and told her that if she wants to come back home, she should leave me at an orphanage first. And that I was not his daughter. He said he told his friends and family that you had a miscarriage. Well my mother didn't listen to him and somehow managed to raise me but it is extremely saddening how my father rejected his blood just because it was a girl. And it saddens me how because of me, my mother's divorce happened. I can never thank my mother enough for choosing me over a comforting life.

【回答】
我父亲一直想要个儿子。当我母亲怀孕时,他明确告诉她,他是个有名望的人,不能生女儿,如果是女儿,那也是因为我母亲的缘故。(这在科学上是说不通的,但在我们文化中,生女儿是一件羞耻的事)。果然,是个女儿。我,父亲看了我一眼就回家了。留下母亲一个人。就连我的祖父母也离开了。母亲一个人打理着一切,在她要出院的那天,父亲打电话告诉她,如果她想回家,就应该先把我留在孤儿院。还说我不是他的女儿。他说他告诉他的朋友和家人你流产了。我母亲没有听他的话,想方设法把我抚养成人,但我父亲却因为我是个女孩而拒绝接受他的血脉,我很难过。并且同样难过的是因为我,母亲离婚了。我对母亲的感激之情无以言表,她选择了我,而不是安逸的生活。

Anonymous
I wish I didn't have to anonymous but I kinda do. Sorry.
None of my friends know this, only my mother and father.
I was sexually abused by two guys when I was around 7 years old. They took me to an abandoned house and did it.
Anyways, a couple of days later, I told my father what happened. Now I'd like to point out that because of my age, I really hadn't grasped what had happened to me; I just told him like it was any other story.
Anyway, to go the point. Years later I asked my mother what happened to the guys, and in not so many words my mother told me my father killed them.
This didn't happen in a first world country, and the police usually turn a blind eye to these types of crimes. No one reported any crime and my father was never caught.
So that's something that apart from my parents no one knows, I mean absolutely no one. Not because I am ashamed of what my father did, hell no, those two deserved to die, my father probably saved other children from getting abused so he did a favour to who knows how many children.

【回答】
我希望我不必匿名,但我确实需要。对不起。
我的朋友们都不知道这件事,只有我的母亲和父亲知道。
在我 7 岁左右的时候,被两个男人性侵。他们把我带到一个废弃的房子里做了。
几天后,我把事情告诉了父亲。现在我想说的是,由于我的年龄,我真的没有理解发生在自己身上的事;我只是像讲其他故事一样告诉了他。
言归正传。多年以后,我问母亲那几个人怎么了,母亲用不多的话告诉我,我父亲杀了他们。
这种事不是发生在第一世界国家,警察通常对这类犯罪视而不见。没有人报案,我父亲也从未落网。
除了我父母,没人知道这件事,我的意思是绝对没人知道。这并不是因为我对父亲的所作所为感到羞愧,当然不是,那两个人死有余辜,我父亲可能还救了其他被虐待的孩子,所以他不知道帮了多少孩子的忙。

Devanshi
The saddest thing happened to me is explaining how hard that time was…
3 years ago, I was in my last year of college. And my roommate, 2 years elder than me was doing a job. She was my best friend. We were friends since so long that we used to share almost everything. From boyfriend problems to diet plan. From planning vacation to Disneyland and going on road trips together. She was working with a multinational company and used to tell me that her job profile suites me better than her. She was introvert in nature and I was the chatterbox in two of us. So I used to listen this every now and then that I should be working at her place. One odd day she told me that she had a breakup with her boyfriend. I was happy with the fact that finally she decided to do so because she was not happy in that relationship. Just after their breakup, her boyfriend decided to marry other girl. So she was upset about it. And suddenly she decided to quit her job. I told her not to quit the job and to look for a better workplace. But she was not ready to do so. I was about to complete my college and I was worried about her because she was wasting her time doing nothing. I felt that she is not well and so I took her to the psychologist. She was going through depression. I was upset because my best friend was not well. During that time her parents visited our place and they were also worried about her. But I was pretty sure that she will be fine one day.

【回答】
对我来说,最悲伤的事情莫过于解释那段时间有多么艰难...
3 年前,我在读大学的最后一年。我的室友,比我大两岁,正在做一份工作。她是我最好的朋友。我们是很久的朋友了,几乎无话不谈。从男朋友的问题到减肥计划。从计划去迪斯尼乐园度假到一起去旅行。她在一家跨国公司工作,经常跟我说她的工作相比她,更适合我。她生性内向,而我是我们两个人中的话匣子。所以我时不时就会听她说,我应该去她那里工作。有一天,她告诉我她和男朋友分手了。我很高兴,她终于决定这样做了,因为她在那段感情中并不快乐。就在他们分手后,她的男朋友决定和另一个女孩结婚。她对此很不高兴。她突然决定辞职。我告诉她不要辞职,去找一份更好的工作。但她还没准备好。我马上就要大学毕业了,我很担心她,她在无所事事地浪费时间。我觉得她身体不太好,于是带她去看心理医生。她得了抑郁症。我很难过最好的朋友身体出了问题。那段时间,她的父母来过我们住处,他们也很担心她。但我很确定,她总有一天会好起来的。

One day she said that her previous company is looking for some employees and I should go for the interview. I wasn’t ready for the interview because I was scared of the rejection. She forced me to attend the interview. And so did I. How can I say no to best friend?!! :) When I went to the interview, I got to know that they were offering me the same position my best friend used to work. So I was excited as well as nervous. Interview was good and they offered me the job. I was so happy because my best friend was right. That was exactly the kind of job I was looking for. And honestly, I cracked the interview only because she used to share her work and everything with me. So after receiving the offer letter, I took my phone to call her. There was already one miss call from her. So I called her back…

有一天,她说她以前的公司正在招人,我应该去面试。我还没有做好面试的准备,害怕被拒绝。她强迫我去面试。然后我就去了,我怎么能拒绝最好的朋友呢?!!:)当我去面试的时候,我才知道他们给我提供的职位和我最好的朋友以前工作的职位是一样的。所以我既兴奋又紧张。面试很顺利,他们给了我这份工作。我非常高兴,因为我最好的朋友是对的。那正是我想要找的工作。老实说,我之所以能通过面试,完全是因为她经常和我分享她的工作和一切。收到聘书后,我拿起手机给她打电话。她已经打了一个未接电话。于是我给她回了电话...

And the phone kept ringing… She didn’t picked up the call. I called her 4 time. This was unusual. She never misses my call. No matter where she is or what she is doing. So I was worried about her. I hurried to go back to my place. And when I reached, I realized she was in bathroom. So I knocked the door. She didn’t replied. I knocked the door numerous time still she didn’t replied. Finally I called our neighbors and they broke the door. She was lying on the floor with some liquid coming out of her mouth. We took her to the hospital and she was breathing very slowly. Doctors called her parents and told me to have faith. She had committed the suicide. I couldn't believe she did this. She was very brave girl. I was sitting in the hospital for 36 hours without even eating anything. Our parents were on their way to reach us. And doctor said that she stopped breathing. She was dead. I was not even able to cry. When our parents came to the hospital, I was totally broken. They knew that she was going through the depression and so they managed other formalities. My parents were also in shock because they knew it how this will break me into pieces.

电话一直在响......她没有接电话。我给她打了4次电话,这很不寻常,她从来不会错过我的电话无论她在哪里,在做什么。所以很担心她。我急忙赶回住处,到了门口,我才发现她在卫生间。于是我敲了敲门。她没有回答。我敲了很多次门,她还是没有回应。最后我打电话给邻居,他们破门而入。她躺在地板上,嘴里有液体流出。我们把她送到医院,她的呼吸非常缓慢。医生给她的父母打了电话,告诉我要有信心。她自杀了。我简直不敢相信她会这么做。她是个非常勇敢的女孩。我在医院里坐了 36 个小时,甚至没有吃任何东西。我们的父母正在赶来的路上。医生说她停止呼吸了,已经死了。我连哭都哭不出来。当我们的父母到医院时,我完全崩溃了。他们知道她得了抑郁症,所以帮她办理了其他手续。我的父母也很震惊,因为他们知道这会让我崩溃。

Losing your best friend is like losing everything. I was breathing but not even able to accept the fact that she will not be with me to motivate me and fight with me. Nobody will accompany me in road trips anymore. Finally I left that place where we used to stay. I was also going through depression. My parents came over to stay with me. And finally after recovering from this trauma, I joined the job.
Right now, I am sitting on the same desk my best friend used to sit. I am using the same laptop she was using. She would be definitely happy knowing that I am working at her place. But she isn’t here anymore. She isn’t here to tell me how I should learn to listen to people and think twice before speaking. I miss her so much that not even a single day passes without thinking about her. I wish I would have skipped the interview…. But this is life and you have to live. I will eventually come out of this depression. But her memories will stay with me for the rest of my life.

失去最好的朋友就像失去了一切。我还在呼吸,却无法接受她不再和我一起激励我、和我一起奋斗的事实。没有人会再陪我一起去旅行。最后,我离开了那个我们曾经住过的地方。我也患上了抑郁症。我的父母过来陪我。最后,从创伤中恢复过来后,我参加了这份工作。
现在,我正坐在我最好的朋友曾经坐过的那张桌子上。我正在使用她用过的那台笔记本电脑。如果她知道我在她的地方工作,肯定会很高兴的。但她已经不在这里了。她不能在这里告诉我如何学会倾听别人的意见,以及三思而后行了。我非常想念她,甚至没有一天不想她。我真希望我没去面试... 但这就是生活,你必须活下去。我最终会走出抑郁。但她的记忆将伴随我的余生。

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