研究发现有孩子的人比没有孩子的人更幸福，前提是孩子已经搬出去住
正文翻译
When it comes to who is happier, people with kids or those without, most research points to the latter. But a new study suggests that parents are happier than non-parents later in life, when their children move out and become sources of social enjoyment rather than stress.
当涉及到有孩子的人还是没有孩子的人谁更快乐这个问题上，大多数研究结果都指向后者。但一项新的研究表明，当孩子搬出去后，孩子对于父母来说从压力来源变为了社交乐趣时，有孩子的人比没有孩子的人更快乐。
When it comes to who is happier, people with kids or those without, most research points to the latter. But a new study suggests that parents are happier than non-parents later in life, when their children move out and become sources of social enjoyment rather than stress.
当涉及到有孩子的人还是没有孩子的人谁更快乐这个问题上，大多数研究结果都指向后者。但一项新的研究表明，当孩子搬出去后，孩子对于父母来说从压力来源变为了社交乐趣时，有孩子的人比没有孩子的人更快乐。
Most surveys of parental happiness have focused on those whose children still live at home. These tend to show that people with kids are less happy than their child-free peers because they have less free time, sleep and money.
大多数关于父母幸福感的调查都集中在那些孩子仍然住在家里的父母身上。这往往会让研究表明，有孩子的人比没有孩子的同龄人更不快乐，因为他们的空闲时间、睡眠时间和金钱都更少。
大多数关于父母幸福感的调查都集中在那些孩子仍然住在家里的父母身上。这往往会让研究表明，有孩子的人比没有孩子的同龄人更不快乐，因为他们的空闲时间、睡眠时间和金钱都更少。
Christoph Becker at Heidelberg University in Germany and his colleagues wondered if the story might be different for parents whose kids have left home. To find out, they analysed data from a European survey that asked 55,000 people aged 50 and older about their emotional well-being.
德国海德堡大学的克里斯托弗·贝克尔和他的同事们想知道，对于孩子已经搬出去住的父母来说，情况是否会有所不同。为了找到答案，他们分析了一项欧洲调查的数据，该调查询问了5.5万名年龄在50岁及以上的人的情绪健康状况。
德国海德堡大学的克里斯托弗·贝克尔和他的同事们想知道，对于孩子已经搬出去住的父母来说，情况是否会有所不同。为了找到答案，他们分析了一项欧洲调查的数据，该调查询问了5.5万名年龄在50岁及以上的人的情绪健康状况。
They found that, in this older age group, people with children had greater life satisfaction and fewer symptoms of depression than people without children, but only if their kids had left home.
他们发现，在这个年龄较大的群体中，有孩子的人比没有孩子的人有着更大的生活满意度和更少的抑郁症状，但前提是他们的孩子已经离开了家。
Returning the favour爱好的回归
他们发现，在这个年龄较大的群体中，有孩子的人比没有孩子的人有着更大的生活满意度和更少的抑郁症状，但前提是他们的孩子已经离开了家。
Returning the favour爱好的回归
This may be because when children grow up and move out, they provide social enrichment to their parents minus the day-to-day stress of looking after them, says Becker. They may also give something back by providing care and financial support to their parents, he says. “Hence, children’s role as caregivers, financial support or simply as social contact might outweigh negative aspects of parenthood,” he says.
贝克尔说，这可能是因为当孩子长大搬出去后，他们为父母提供了丰富的社交活动，而父母也没有了每天照顾他们的压力。他说，孩子也可能通过提供照顾和经济支持来回报父母。他说:“因此，孩子作为照顾者、经济支持或仅仅作为社交接触的角色，可能会抵消或超过给父母带来的负面影响。”
贝克尔说，这可能是因为当孩子长大搬出去后，他们为父母提供了丰富的社交活动，而父母也没有了每天照顾他们的压力。他说，孩子也可能通过提供照顾和经济支持来回报父母。他说:“因此，孩子作为照顾者、经济支持或仅仅作为社交接触的角色，可能会抵消或超过给父母带来的负面影响。”
The picture is similar in the US, says Nicholas Wolfinger at the University of Utah. He recently analysed 40 years of data from the US General Social Survey and found that empty-nest parents aged 50 to 70 were 5 to 6 per cent more likely to report being very happy than those with kids still at home.
犹他大学的尼古拉斯·沃尔芬格表示，美国的情况也类似。他最近分析了美国社会综合调查40年来的数据，发现50至70岁的空巢父母报告自己非常幸福的可能性比那些仍有孩子在家的父母高5%至6%。
犹他大学的尼古拉斯·沃尔芬格表示，美国的情况也类似。他最近分析了美国社会综合调查40年来的数据，发现50至70岁的空巢父母报告自己非常幸福的可能性比那些仍有孩子在家的父母高5%至6%。
评论翻译
[–]townspersonB 8091 18
I wonder how the parents feel if the kids never move out though..
要是子女永远不搬出去父母该是怎么个想法..
I wonder how the parents feel if the kids never move out though..
要是子女永远不搬出去父母该是怎么个想法..
[–]IncarnationHero 2381 16
And then, there's opposite where their kids want to move out and parent don't let them do it.
还有那些怎样都不让小孩离开自己搬出去住的父母是怎么想的。
And then, there's opposite where their kids want to move out and parent don't let them do it.
还有那些怎样都不让小孩离开自己搬出去住的父母是怎么想的。
[–]Sisaac 1852 15
I think these studies don't take into account the cultural differences where some families outside the US or other western nations usually live all together under the same roof, or share family life much closely than what would be "normal" for others.
我认为这研究没有考虑到文化差异，即美国或其他西方国家以外的国家地区的习惯是家庭成员通常生活在同一个屋檐下，或者就算分开住家人之间的生活交流也会非常亲密。
I think these studies don't take into account the cultural differences where some families outside the US or other western nations usually live all together under the same roof, or share family life much closely than what would be "normal" for others.
我认为这研究没有考虑到文化差异，即美国或其他西方国家以外的国家地区的习惯是家庭成员通常生活在同一个屋檐下，或者就算分开住家人之间的生活交流也会非常亲密。
[–]LeftTurnOnly1 1649 15
This.
In many cultures children don't move out until they are married. And even if they do get married, it is normal in some cultures for both families to live under the same roof.
It's a very western idea for kids to move out immediately after graduating high school/turning 18, and it's western to hold that expectation over the kid. I've knows friends in the USA who literally became homeless as soon as they turned 18 (if they couldn't afford to pay for college) because the parents kicked them out.
I think it's important for a young adult to move out and develop their own social life. Parent's "not letting" their adult children move out by using emotional manipulation or other unhealthy/emotionally abusive tactics stunts their emotional development and the child can result in being psychologically fucked up or unable to maintain healthy relationships because of it.
对的在许多国家，孩子是直到结婚后才搬出去住的。有时候即使他们结婚了，两家人共同住在一个屋檐下也是很正常的。
对孩子来说，高中毕业/ 18岁就搬出去住是非常西方化的想法，对孩子抱有这种期望也是西方的。我认识一些在美国的朋友，他们18岁就无家可归(他们上不起大学)，因为父母把他们赶了出去。
我认为年轻人搬出去发展自己的社交生活是很重要的。父母用打感情牌或其他不健康的手段来“不准”他们的子女搬出去，会阻碍子女们的情感发展，孩子可能因此在心理上进一步产生问题或无法维持健康的社交关系。
This.
In many cultures children don't move out until they are married. And even if they do get married, it is normal in some cultures for both families to live under the same roof.
It's a very western idea for kids to move out immediately after graduating high school/turning 18, and it's western to hold that expectation over the kid. I've knows friends in the USA who literally became homeless as soon as they turned 18 (if they couldn't afford to pay for college) because the parents kicked them out.
I think it's important for a young adult to move out and develop their own social life. Parent's "not letting" their adult children move out by using emotional manipulation or other unhealthy/emotionally abusive tactics stunts their emotional development and the child can result in being psychologically fucked up or unable to maintain healthy relationships because of it.
对的在许多国家，孩子是直到结婚后才搬出去住的。有时候即使他们结婚了，两家人共同住在一个屋檐下也是很正常的。
对孩子来说，高中毕业/ 18岁就搬出去住是非常西方化的想法，对孩子抱有这种期望也是西方的。我认识一些在美国的朋友，他们18岁就无家可归(他们上不起大学)，因为父母把他们赶了出去。
我认为年轻人搬出去发展自己的社交生活是很重要的。父母用打感情牌或其他不健康的手段来“不准”他们的子女搬出去，会阻碍子女们的情感发展，孩子可能因此在心理上进一步产生问题或无法维持健康的社交关系。
[–]KolaDesi 792 15
It's not even a western thing, it's an American (and maybe north European) thing. In southern Europe kids move out when they marry, and even then they usually live under the same roof. Usually living far away is considered a bad thing and something that happens for necessity.
这种甚至都不能说是西方的东西，而是美国(也许还带点北欧)的文化。在南欧，孩子们结婚后就搬出去住，即使那时夫妻通常也和父母住在一起。在他们看来和父母住得远被认为是一件坏事，是被迫不得已而为之。
It's not even a western thing, it's an American (and maybe north European) thing. In southern Europe kids move out when they marry, and even then they usually live under the same roof. Usually living far away is considered a bad thing and something that happens for necessity.
这种甚至都不能说是西方的东西，而是美国(也许还带点北欧)的文化。在南欧，孩子们结婚后就搬出去住，即使那时夫妻通常也和父母住在一起。在他们看来和父母住得远被认为是一件坏事，是被迫不得已而为之。
[–]foxcatbat 512 15
ye im from north europe where if you live with your parents at 20 you are complete loser, but now i live in spain and here people live together only separating if necesary for a job or bad relations.
我来自北欧，在那里，如果你20岁还和父母住在一起，那你完全就是个垃圾。但现在我住在西班牙，这里的人只有因为工作原因或家庭关系不睦的必要时才会分开住。
ye im from north europe where if you live with your parents at 20 you are complete loser, but now i live in spain and here people live together only separating if necesary for a job or bad relations.
我来自北欧，在那里，如果你20岁还和父母住在一起，那你完全就是个垃圾。但现在我住在西班牙，这里的人只有因为工作原因或家庭关系不睦的必要时才会分开住。
[–]daebb 204 15
So what do you personally prefer? What are the ups and downs of each model? I think I’d go crazy if I had to live with my family for my whole life.
那么你个人更喜欢哪样?两种选择各有什么优缺点?我想如果我一辈子都要和家人住在一起，我得疯。
So what do you personally prefer? What are the ups and downs of each model? I think I’d go crazy if I had to live with my family for my whole life.
那么你个人更喜欢哪样?两种选择各有什么优缺点?我想如果我一辈子都要和家人住在一起，我得疯。
[–]KioskPlaya 298 14
You learn to take care of yourself at a smaller scale, ie, shopping for yourself, taking care of bills etc while still having a family you can fall back on if necessary.
Living with family, you have much less stress about housing situation and can focus on education or work and in general you have an easier time.
I've stayed with my parent for far to long and I have no clue how to do real life. It stresses me out a lot, but I'm tryna learn as I go.
你会学会在较小的范围内如何照顾自己，例如，自己购物，处理账单等，同时还有一个你可以去依靠的家庭，如果有必要的话。
和家人住在一起，你在住房方面的压力会小很多，你可以专注于学习或工作，总的来说，在经济方面你会过得更轻松。
我已经和我的父母呆了很长的时间，我不知道如何真实的一个人生活。这让我压力很大，走一步看一步吧。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
You learn to take care of yourself at a smaller scale, ie, shopping for yourself, taking care of bills etc while still having a family you can fall back on if necessary.
Living with family, you have much less stress about housing situation and can focus on education or work and in general you have an easier time.
I've stayed with my parent for far to long and I have no clue how to do real life. It stresses me out a lot, but I'm tryna learn as I go.
你会学会在较小的范围内如何照顾自己，例如，自己购物，处理账单等，同时还有一个你可以去依靠的家庭，如果有必要的话。
和家人住在一起，你在住房方面的压力会小很多，你可以专注于学习或工作，总的来说，在经济方面你会过得更轻松。
我已经和我的父母呆了很长的时间，我不知道如何真实的一个人生活。这让我压力很大，走一步看一步吧。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
[–]doozywooooz 173 13
and in general you have an easier time.
That really depends on the dynamics of your family home. I have to carry the burden of caring for myself in every capacity, yes, but now I don't have to deal with 24/7 drama, lack of privacy, lack of food choices, long ass commute.
-“在经济方面你会过得更轻松”
轻不轻松完全取决于你的家庭环境。是的，住在外面我必须在各个方面照顾好自己，但相应的现在我不必每天都跟父母吵架，不会没有个人隐私，可以想吃啥就吃啥，也不用跑那么远去上班。
and in general you have an easier time.
That really depends on the dynamics of your family home. I have to carry the burden of caring for myself in every capacity, yes, but now I don't have to deal with 24/7 drama, lack of privacy, lack of food choices, long ass commute.
-“在经济方面你会过得更轻松”
轻不轻松完全取决于你的家庭环境。是的，住在外面我必须在各个方面照顾好自己，但相应的现在我不必每天都跟父母吵架，不会没有个人隐私，可以想吃啥就吃啥，也不用跑那么远去上班。
[–]RivRise 30 10
This is why I lived out at 20. Living alone is just more relaxing.
你说的就是我20岁搬出去住的原因。一个人住实在是太爽了。
This is why I lived out at 20. Living alone is just more relaxing.
你说的就是我20岁搬出去住的原因。一个人住实在是太爽了。
[–]foxcatbat 204 14
i was embeded in spanish family, cause my ex was spanish, so i really saw both models intimately.
i would say family forever together model only works if all members of family are into happy flappy lifestyle which most southerners are, because as soon as you introduce burning ambition to be most powerful possible as north people have, all that becomes a nuisance and burden and you want only people you carefully sext to be in your life and cut all ties with anyone who even remotly bothers u.
我非常了解了西班牙家庭，因为我的前任就是西班牙人，所以我对这两种情况都有很深的理解。
我认为家人永远在一起的情况只适用于所有的家庭成员都有着乐天知命无忧无虑的生活方式，符合这点要求的大多数都是美国南方人，一到个个都是雄心壮志前程无量的美国北方人可就不行了，家人都变成了麻烦和负担，他们只想自己自由选择和谁生活在一起，甚至会断绝任何无用的关系比如远方亲戚。
i was embeded in spanish family, cause my ex was spanish, so i really saw both models intimately.
i would say family forever together model only works if all members of family are into happy flappy lifestyle which most southerners are, because as soon as you introduce burning ambition to be most powerful possible as north people have, all that becomes a nuisance and burden and you want only people you carefully sext to be in your life and cut all ties with anyone who even remotly bothers u.
我非常了解了西班牙家庭，因为我的前任就是西班牙人，所以我对这两种情况都有很深的理解。
我认为家人永远在一起的情况只适用于所有的家庭成员都有着乐天知命无忧无虑的生活方式，符合这点要求的大多数都是美国南方人，一到个个都是雄心壮志前程无量的美国北方人可就不行了，家人都变成了麻烦和负担，他们只想自己自由选择和谁生活在一起，甚至会断绝任何无用的关系比如远方亲戚。
[–]Oh_Archie 73 13
Thank you for this perspective. I’ve always wondered about the 2 aspects and this confirms more or less my thoughts.
My Chinese friend used to say in a proverb “Lone dragon flies high” haha!
多谢你的经历。我一直在思考这两个方面的好坏，这或多或少证实了我的想法。
我的中国朋友曾经说过一句谚语“鹏程万里”哈哈!
Thank you for this perspective. I’ve always wondered about the 2 aspects and this confirms more or less my thoughts.
My Chinese friend used to say in a proverb “Lone dragon flies high” haha!
多谢你的经历。我一直在思考这两个方面的好坏，这或多或少证实了我的想法。
我的中国朋友曾经说过一句谚语“鹏程万里”哈哈!
[–]Le_Oken 62 15
South American here, usually kids move out when married
美国南方人，子女一般都是结婚后才搬出去住
South American here, usually kids move out when married
美国南方人，子女一般都是结婚后才搬出去住
[–]-Vertex- 58 14*
I live in the UK and there's definitely the expectation you move out somewhere in your 20's with there being a stigma if you live with your parents too long. At the same time due to the extortionate renting costs over here people are living with their parents longer than ever before so it's not all that surprising that somebody is 24/25 and living at home still.
我住在英国，父母肯定希望你在20多岁的时候搬出去住，如果你和父母住得太久，就会被视为一种耻辱。与此同时，由于房子越来越贵租金也水涨船高，孩子和父母住在一起的时间变得比以往任何时候都长，所以有人24、5都还住在家里也就不足为奇了。
I live in the UK and there's definitely the expectation you move out somewhere in your 20's with there being a stigma if you live with your parents too long. At the same time due to the extortionate renting costs over here people are living with their parents longer than ever before so it's not all that surprising that somebody is 24/25 and living at home still.
我住在英国，父母肯定希望你在20多岁的时候搬出去住，如果你和父母住得太久，就会被视为一种耻辱。与此同时，由于房子越来越贵租金也水涨船高，孩子和父母住在一起的时间变得比以往任何时候都长，所以有人24、5都还住在家里也就不足为奇了。
[–]Malarkay79 84 14
My family is lily white American, and all but one sibling lived at home until they got married. I’m not married and I still live at home. My Dad is to the point where he needs someone living with him/managing the house, and we live in a high COL area. His money pays the mortgage and his insurance, and I take care of the rest of the expenses. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. We’re outliers.
我家是美国纯白人血统，孩子们在结婚之前都住在家里，除了有一个在结婚后也住家里。我没有结婚，仍然住在家里。我们家住在高海拔地区，所以我爸爸需要有人和他一起住/管理房子。他只需支付抵押贷款和保险，其余的费用由我来承担。这是一个互惠互利的安排。不过我们家算是个例外。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
My family is lily white American, and all but one sibling lived at home until they got married. I’m not married and I still live at home. My Dad is to the point where he needs someone living with him/managing the house, and we live in a high COL area. His money pays the mortgage and his insurance, and I take care of the rest of the expenses. It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement. We’re outliers.
我家是美国纯白人血统，孩子们在结婚之前都住在家里，除了有一个在结婚后也住家里。我没有结婚，仍然住在家里。我们家住在高海拔地区，所以我爸爸需要有人和他一起住/管理房子。他只需支付抵押贷款和保险，其余的费用由我来承担。这是一个互惠互利的安排。不过我们家算是个例外。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
[–]maryshambles 150 16
That’s what my family is like. I live 3hrs away, but if I don’t make it “home” to see my mom every other weekend she’ll throw a fit
我父母就是控制型的。我住的地方离父母家有3个小时的路程，但是如果我不能每隔一周就“回家”去看我妈妈，那她保准会大发雷霆
That’s what my family is like. I live 3hrs away, but if I don’t make it “home” to see my mom every other weekend she’ll throw a fit
我父母就是控制型的。我住的地方离父母家有3个小时的路程，但是如果我不能每隔一周就“回家”去看我妈妈，那她保准会大发雷霆
[–]Watterbottlefullof 67 15
My MIL and FIL are like this with my husband and it annoys me to no end. If he doesn't see them twice a weekend some sort of "emergency" comes up during the week where he just has to come over right away. She will call his phone 5 times while she knows he's at work and then when he doesn't answer she calls mine. They have no friends or life of their own.
我的亲生父母就是这样，搞得我心烦意乱。如果我老公一个星期不去看他们两次，那么他们这周就会出现某种“紧急情况”，要他必须马上过来。就算我妈知道我老公正在工作，她还是会给我老公打5次电话，当我老公不接电话时，她就给我打电话。他们没有朋友，也没有自己的生活。
My MIL and FIL are like this with my husband and it annoys me to no end. If he doesn't see them twice a weekend some sort of "emergency" comes up during the week where he just has to come over right away. She will call his phone 5 times while she knows he's at work and then when he doesn't answer she calls mine. They have no friends or life of their own.
我的亲生父母就是这样，搞得我心烦意乱。如果我老公一个星期不去看他们两次，那么他们这周就会出现某种“紧急情况”，要他必须马上过来。就算我妈知道我老公正在工作，她还是会给我老公打5次电话，当我老公不接电话时，她就给我打电话。他们没有朋友，也没有自己的生活。
[–]abnmfr 112 16
This was my mother-in-law until my wife and I moved and declined to share our new address with her or anyoneelse in the family who might give it to her.
这是我的亲妈，我是真的受不了她直到我和妻子搬了家，我拒绝把我们的新家地址告诉她或家里任何可能给她的人。
This was my mother-in-law until my wife and I moved and declined to share our new address with her or anyoneelse in the family who might give it to her.
这是我的亲妈，我是真的受不了她直到我和妻子搬了家，我拒绝把我们的新家地址告诉她或家里任何可能给她的人。
[–]vferg 57 15
This was my wifes parents as well. They brainwashed her and her kids into feeling that they owe them and the other 2 didnt appreciate it but my wife tried her hardest to appease them and so we saw them a lot and planned things around them all the time... it was a really scary relationship and no matter how hard you explained to her this isnt right it I looked like the bad guy. Well her father just passed 4 months ago, and her mother passed less than a month ago. She is devastated but I think in the long run it will be much better for her to finally start living her own life for once.
这也是我老婆的父母。他们给她和她的孩子洗脑，让他们觉得我老婆欠他们的，另外两个孩子并不感激他们，但是我的妻子尽她最大的努力去安抚他们，所以我们经常看到他们，总是在为他们的事情跑前跑后……这是一段非常可怕的关系，不管我怎么向她解释都不行，搞的我看起来倒像个坏人。她父亲四个月前刚去世，她母亲不到一个月前去世。她很伤心，但我认为，从长远来看，她终于能开始过自己的生活了。
This was my wifes parents as well. They brainwashed her and her kids into feeling that they owe them and the other 2 didnt appreciate it but my wife tried her hardest to appease them and so we saw them a lot and planned things around them all the time... it was a really scary relationship and no matter how hard you explained to her this isnt right it I looked like the bad guy. Well her father just passed 4 months ago, and her mother passed less than a month ago. She is devastated but I think in the long run it will be much better for her to finally start living her own life for once.
这也是我老婆的父母。他们给她和她的孩子洗脑，让他们觉得我老婆欠他们的，另外两个孩子并不感激他们，但是我的妻子尽她最大的努力去安抚他们，所以我们经常看到他们，总是在为他们的事情跑前跑后……这是一段非常可怕的关系，不管我怎么向她解释都不行，搞的我看起来倒像个坏人。她父亲四个月前刚去世，她母亲不到一个月前去世。她很伤心，但我认为，从长远来看，她终于能开始过自己的生活了。
[–]lolahaze11 48 15
If she’s so desperate to see you, she can go visit you.
如果你妈非常想见你，她可以自己去看你啊。
If she’s so desperate to see you, she can go visit you.
如果你妈非常想见你，她可以自己去看你啊。
[–]JustMeSunshine91 48 15
I’m gonna guess they wouldn’t want that, as some parents will take that as an invitation to disrespect their boundaries. It’s best to keep your distance with parents who have manipulative behaviors.
我猜他们不会想要那样做，因为有些父母会把让他们亲自过去看作是有失尊严的行为。最好和有控制欲的父母保持距离。
I’m gonna guess they wouldn’t want that, as some parents will take that as an invitation to disrespect their boundaries. It’s best to keep your distance with parents who have manipulative behaviors.
我猜他们不会想要那样做，因为有些父母会把让他们亲自过去看作是有失尊严的行为。最好和有控制欲的父母保持距离。
[–]xxllmmaa 136 16
Depends on culture I guess. As a first generation Asian American my parents want me to stay with them, both financially and since they don't really speak English. however, I wouldn't want my kids to stay with me.
我想这取决于文化。作为第一代亚裔美国人，我的父母希望我和他们住在一起，无论是经济上的原因还是因为他们不会说英语。然而，我不想让我的孩子和我呆在一起。
Depends on culture I guess. As a first generation Asian American my parents want me to stay with them, both financially and since they don't really speak English. however, I wouldn't want my kids to stay with me.
我想这取决于文化。作为第一代亚裔美国人，我的父母希望我和他们住在一起，无论是经济上的原因还是因为他们不会说英语。然而，我不想让我的孩子和我呆在一起。
[–]doozywooooz 78 13
however, I wouldn't want my kids to stay with me.
First gen Asian American here too. Parents wanted me to stay to save up money, etc., etc. too. I got out as soon as I could and never looked back.
However if I ever had a kid I'd strive to be the exact opposite of how I was raised in an Asian household. There was hardly any emotional connection, it was purely materialistic / financial driven. Study, study study. Take every AP, score high on tests, apply to every Ivy, study medicine, become a doctor yada yada yada (for the record I achieved less than half of that).
I'd raise my kid to WANT to be around me, to look to me as a friend as they get older rather than as someone who just pushes them around to succeed later in life just to further the "family success". In turn I would raise a kid who I wouldn't mind holing up in our home until he/she is ready to move on.
-“然而，我不想让我的孩子和我呆在一起。”
这里也是第一代亚裔美国人。父母也希望我留下来存钱，等等。我尽快地走了出去，再也没有回头。
然而，如果我有了一个孩子，我会为他努力营造一个与我童年成长完全相反的环境。我与父母之间几乎没有任何情感上的联系，纯粹是受物质/经济的驱使。我的童年只有学习学习学习。参加每一个AP课程，考试得高分，申请每一所常春藤盟校，学习医学，成为一名医生巴拉巴拉巴拉（他们的这些要求我只完成了不到一半）。
我会把我的孩子抚养成人，让他们真心想要和我在一起，当他们长大后，会把我当作是他们的朋友，而不是在他们长大后为了“家庭的成功”而逼迫他们走向成功。而为了达到这一点，在我的孩子准备好离开家之前，我并不介意把他/她关在家里。
however, I wouldn't want my kids to stay with me.
First gen Asian American here too. Parents wanted me to stay to save up money, etc., etc. too. I got out as soon as I could and never looked back.
However if I ever had a kid I'd strive to be the exact opposite of how I was raised in an Asian household. There was hardly any emotional connection, it was purely materialistic / financial driven. Study, study study. Take every AP, score high on tests, apply to every Ivy, study medicine, become a doctor yada yada yada (for the record I achieved less than half of that).
I'd raise my kid to WANT to be around me, to look to me as a friend as they get older rather than as someone who just pushes them around to succeed later in life just to further the "family success". In turn I would raise a kid who I wouldn't mind holing up in our home until he/she is ready to move on.
-“然而，我不想让我的孩子和我呆在一起。”
这里也是第一代亚裔美国人。父母也希望我留下来存钱，等等。我尽快地走了出去，再也没有回头。
然而，如果我有了一个孩子，我会为他努力营造一个与我童年成长完全相反的环境。我与父母之间几乎没有任何情感上的联系，纯粹是受物质/经济的驱使。我的童年只有学习学习学习。参加每一个AP课程，考试得高分，申请每一所常春藤盟校，学习医学，成为一名医生巴拉巴拉巴拉（他们的这些要求我只完成了不到一半）。
我会把我的孩子抚养成人，让他们真心想要和我在一起，当他们长大后，会把我当作是他们的朋友，而不是在他们长大后为了“家庭的成功”而逼迫他们走向成功。而为了达到这一点，在我的孩子准备好离开家之前，我并不介意把他/她关在家里。
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