我完全不理解亚洲人的自我憎恨
2021-09-20 21733
正文翻译
I Don't Understand Asian Self-Hatred At All

我完全不理解亚洲人的自我憎恨


Growing up in a small town in the South during late 90s/early 2000s, I faced racism all the time. Got beaten up on the first week of kindergarten, beer bottles thrown at me while I'm mowing, rednecks almost driving my family off the road TWICE, etc. etc.. I'd get into fights so often that I'd bike over to their house and challenge them, because I couldn't wait to fight them at school. I still have a mangled finger, cut eyebrow, visible cut on on skull, two chipped teeth, and other multiple scars and I have proof if wanted. Just plain nasty, hateful, trashy people and bad memories I can't forget. The hardest part was seeing my immigrant dad always coming home from work angry because of workforce discrimination, and it pains me to this day knowing my old man endured so his kids could have a better future.

20世纪90年代末到21世纪初,我在南方的一个小镇长大,一直面临着种族歧视。上幼儿园的第一周就挨了打,我割草的时候有人向我扔啤酒瓶,红脖子差点把我家赶出马路两次,还有很多很多。我经常和他们打架,骑着自行车去他们家挑战他们,因为我等不及在学校和他们打。我现在还有一根断指,眉毛断裂,脑袋上有明显的伤口,两颗有缺口的牙齿,还有很多伤疤,如果需要的话,我有证据的。那些肮脏、可恶、垃圾的人和我无法忘记的糟糕记忆。最痛苦的是看到我的移民父亲总是怒气冲冲地从工作岗位回家,因为工人们受到歧视,直到今天我还很痛苦,因为我知道我的父亲为了他的孩子们能有一个更好的未来而忍受着这些。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


But because of all this, my dad always pushed us hard to be better than all the American kids. Unlike other Asian parents, he was't narrow-minded and understood intellect wasn't enough to prove the false notion of racial superiority wrong. You have to beat racists in every area that they feel superior, so you need to be well-rounded. Asian men also need masculine physical prowess and social skills to succeed. So he'd tailor our diets, make us work out, allowed us to play with other kids, and stress "inner beauty" over appearance, etc. That's why today, my brothers and I are all relatively successful career-wise, socially, physically, we've all "beat" our dad - we've wrestled, played rugby, and tower over our 5''4" Asian dad at ~5''11" 180lbs. What I'm saying is, all that racism we faced became a constant reminder over our heads to beat racists and prove them wrong. It became fodder for our growth. It made me even more proud of being Asian because I didn't want to be on their side.

但因为这一切,我的父亲总是督促我们要比所有的美国孩子更努力。与其他亚裔父母不同,他思想不狭隘,也不会智力不足以证明种族优越性的错误观念是错误的。你必须在让种族主义者感到优越的各个领域击败他们,所以你需要全面发展。亚洲男性也需要男子气概和社交技能来取得成功。所以他会调整我们的饮食,让我们锻炼身体,允许我们和其他孩子一起玩,强调“内在美”胜过外表等等。这就是为什么今天,我和我的兄弟们在事业上、社交上、身体上都相对成功,我们都“击败”了我们的父亲——我们摔跤、玩橄榄球,身高都高过我们5尺4寸(约1米6)的亚洲父亲,都差不多5尺11寸(约1米8),180磅(约81公斤)。我想说的是,我们所面临的种族主义不断提醒着我们要打败种族主义者,并证明他们是错的。它成了我们成长的食粮。这让我更加为自己是亚洲人而自豪,因为我不想站在他们那边。

This is why I don't understand Asian self-hatred in the slightest bit. If people are racist, why does it make you hate yourself? Why are you doing their bidding? Why are you joining in on your own mockery? Why don't you want to counteract their false belief of racial superiority? Hating yourself is choosing to step on your dignity because you were too much a coward to fight back. You chose to believe the propaganda of your oppressors. And your racist oppressors aren't going to lift their foot off the pedal because you kowtowed to them. In fact, they'll walk over you even more. They'd actually respect you more if you fought back.

这就是为什么我一点也不理解亚洲人的自我憎恨。如果人们都是种族主义者,为什么这会让你讨厌自己?你为什么要听他们的?你为什么要加入对你自己的嘲笑?你为什么不想抵抗他们种族优越的错误信念呢?憎恨自己就是选择践踏你自己的尊严,就因为自己太懦弱了,不敢反击。你选择相信你的压迫者的宣传。你的种族主义压迫者不会因为你向他们磕头就大发良心。事实上,他们会变本加厉。而如果你反击,他们会更尊重你。

I don't see Black people hate being Black because of White racism. In fact, they double-down on Black pride. Why are most Asians such weak-minded, passive pushovers?

我没有看到黑人因为白人种族主义而讨厌自己是个黑人。事实上,他们会加倍强调了黑人的骄傲。为什么大多数亚洲人如此低能,如此被动?

评论翻译
crys1672
Some parents dont teach you to fight against racists. Some try to teach you to ignore them and rise above it, but that can be hard. Some assume that when something bad happens, you did somethjng to provoke them even though that's usually not the case.
I know my parents always preached the mentality of staying out of other people's way and they won't bother you (the asian mentality of keeping harmony/not confronting). I think they were trying their best, but they made it so that my sibling and I felt like we were in the wrong even though we had done nothing - our parents convinced us we must've done something or why else would people be mean to us? And somehow we were the ones in the wrong (no mom, they're just racist)?

有些父母不会教你跟种族主义者作斗争。有些会教你要忽视它们要克服它们,但这可能很难。有些还会认为当不好的事情发生时,是你引发的,尽管不是这样的。
我知道我的父母一直在宣扬一种心态,就是远离别人,他们就不会打扰你(保持和谐/不要对抗的亚洲心态)。我认为他们已经尽了最大努力,但他们这样做让我和我的兄弟姐妹觉得我们错了,尽管我们什么都没做——我们的父母坚信我们一定有做什么,否则为什么人们会对我们这么刻薄呢?不知何故我们就错了(并非妈妈,他们只是种族主义者)?

Dear-Flower
Some Asians weren’t fortunate enough to get parents who fights back. I’m glad my parents taught me to always fight back and stand up for others. If someone fucks with you fuck with them back they instilled this to my brothers and I day one.
Growing up we watch our father fight back against racism and discrimination whenever it would be at his workplace or elsewhere. He didn’t take shit from anyone period. He always fought back he was relentless at his aggressors. My brothers and I are grateful for having him in our lives. He taught us a lot of good values for life.

有些亚洲人就没那么幸运了,有会反击的父母。我很高兴我的父母教我要一直反击,要为别人挺身而出。如果有人干你,你就得干回去,他们从一开始就这个灌输给我和我的兄弟们。
在我们的成长过程中,我们看着我们的父亲反抗种族主义和歧视,无论是在他的工作场所还是其他地方。无论对谁哪个时候他都不会打了牙往肚里咽。他总是还击,对攻击他的人毫不留情。我的兄弟们和我都很感激有他在我们的生活中。他教了我们许多优秀的人生价值观。

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unbreakablegrantlee
We are in an early stage of colonialism. A lot of AAs today are either first generation or second generation, which means their parents like yours were very uneducated on racism and how to handle it. Most of us didnt learn the lessons that we needed to combat racism and hate, that comes at a later stage, perhaps in the third-generation or fourth.
So we're basically struggling with identity, and we hate how we're treated so we decide to hate our race because everyone else does too. But just because you hate your race, it wont change how you look and it definitely wont help how you get treated.

我们处于殖民的早期阶段。现在很多美国亚裔不是第一代就是第二代,这意味着他们的父母和你们的父母一样,在种族主义和如何处理种族主义方面都没有受过很好的教育。我们中的大多数人没有学到,我们需要与种族主义和仇恨作斗争,这在后期会到来,也许是第三代或第四代。
所以我们基本上都在为身份而挣扎,我们讨厌自己被对待的方式,所以我们决定讨厌自己的种族,因为其他人也是这么做的。但仅仅因为你讨厌自己的种族,也不会改变你的外貌,也绝对不会在你被对待的方式上有一丝一毫的帮助。

Ruroryosha
It's different for asian women though. They can just exist stage left and go to the white stage and perform there when they marry a white dude.

但对亚洲女性来说就不一样了。她们可以在舞台左侧,当她们和一个白人结婚的时候,就可以去白人的舞台表演了。

zionez
Unfortunately, I believe that we are the minority. Just look at the bobaamerican sub or subtle boba traits. They don't dare to mention anything about having a sense of dignity in oneself, or dare to talk about anything positive about China or Chinese culture, because apparently "china bad".

不幸的是,我认为我们是少数。只要看看‘波霸奶茶美国人板块’或者‘微妙的波霸奶茶特征’就知道了。他们不敢提及任何关于尊严的事情,也不敢谈论关于中国或中国文化的任何积极方面,因为很明显“中国坏”。
(译注:指红迪网上的亚裔美国人板块,和脸书上的“微妙的亚洲特征”团体)

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sam_rock_well
what can I say, people respond to adversity differently. There's the fight or flight response. you are obviously a fighter, but too many AsAms are runners

我能说的是,人们对逆境的反应是不同的。有战斗或逃避。你显然是一个战士,但太多亚裔美国人脚底都抹了油。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


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SynergyO34
I've always been a believer that self-hating Asians have more to do with the fact that they hate their parents so much and the pressure they put on them that they just hate everything about themselves instead.
But unfortunately there are many Asian children who were pampered and given a good unpressured life that still have this mindset.

我一直认为,自我憎恨的亚洲人,更多是因为他们非常讨厌自己的父母,以及父母施加的压力,所以他们会讨厌自己的一切。
但不幸的是,许多娇生惯养、过着无忧无虑的生活的亚洲孩子仍然有这种心态。

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cs_cpsc
It's the "if you can't beat em, join em" mentality self haters have.

自我憎恨的人都有一种“如果你不能打败他们,那就加入他们”的心态。

oddtax20
I see, fortunately that thought has never crossed my mind.

我明白了,幸运的是,我从来没有这样想过。

jook-sing
I think your father is a huge blessing in your story. Kudos to him for showing you the way. Not all of us had that and had to find our own ways through life.

我认为你父亲是你人生中的一大幸事。感谢他为你指路。并不是我们所有人都这样,必须找到自己的生活方式。

TERRANODON
Too many asians raised with the mentality of "being nice". Or trusting in the goodwill of others. My mother tried to raise me to be non confrontational but .... it didnt stick.
Case in point - some limp dick on subtle asian leftovers was questioning himself for recommending his friends for jobs at work fearing he was contributing to taking opportunities from other POC. Cuz he almost always recommends someone Asian. The asian community is filled with pussies like this.
U think whiteys have any qualms about exclusivley promoting their golfing buddies ?

太多的亚洲人在“与人为善 ”的心态中长大。或者轻信他人的善意。我妈妈想把我培养成一个不对抗的人,但…没用。
一个典型案例就是,一个在‘微妙的亚洲剩菜’上的懦弱阳萎男在质疑自己推荐他的朋友去工作,担心他自己是从其他有色人种那里抢机会。因为他总是在推荐亚洲人。亚洲社区里到处都是这样的娘娘腔。
你认为白皮会对只推荐他们的高尔夫球友感到不安吗?

sweetpumpkinspice
People in our community really need to grow a pair lol If other communities don't care about us, we should not care about them and thats that. Other communities like black folk do the exact same thing and could care less if people look down on them or call them racist for choosing to put their own people above everyone else at others expense (nothing wrong with that thou tbh) but Asians are reluctant to do this as they know they'll get criticized.
We're generally taught to just go with the flow to avoid trouble which has made more of us willing to comply to many injustices just cause it's effort and troublesome to not do so. The Asian community needs to break out of their desire to want to feel accepted in Western societies as they'll likely turn on any of us with no hesitation even if we were to get accepted.

我们社区的人真的需要长出一对卵,哈哈,如果其他社区不关心我们,我们也不应该关心他们,就是这样。其他社区像黑人的也是这样做,如果人们看不起那他们就不去关心,或者人们因为他们选择把自己人置于其他人之上,损他人利自己人(老实说没有什么不妥)就把他们称为种族主义,那也不会去关心,但亚洲人不愿意这样做,因为他们知道他们会被批评的。
我们通常被教导要随波逐流以避免麻烦,这使得我们中更多的人愿意去顺从许多不公正,只是因为不这样做会费力又麻烦。亚洲社区需要打破他们渴望被西方社会接受的愿望,即使我们被接受了,他们也会毫不犹豫地攻击我们中的任何一个人。

Ruroryosha
This..... it's sort of like stockholm syndrome. Where the victims begin associating with their transgressors.

这.....这有点像斯德哥尔摩综合症。受害者开始与施害者为伍。

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MechAITheFuture
For some reason, their ego believes that by hating on other Asians, these self hating Asians are better than them. Slave to their egos desiring to be better than others.

出于某种原因,他们的自我意识认为,通过憎恨其他亚洲人,这些自我憎恨的亚洲人就会比他们优越。自我的奴隶,渴望比别人更优越。

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VaniaVampy
I believe black people have. The terms uncle tom or house ni**** don't exist for no reason. They just call that shit out while self hate in the Asian community is an epidemic that is supported.

我相信黑人也有这种人。‘汤姆叔叔’和‘黑人家奴’这两个词的存在是有理由的。他们只是把那些屁话说出来,而自我憎恨在亚洲社区是一种被支持的流行病。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


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e2ea2a
The people like that are just weak in the mind

那样的人只是心里懦弱。

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Aznprime
Good post. There is a significant lack of pride and unity amongst Asians.

好帖子。亚洲人很明显缺乏自豪感和团结。

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jayel993
For the most part, I've fought back against racism in my life although I do feel like I developed some internalized self hatred. I did not have asian friends and my family were not fighters; they were anti violence and did not want to stir the pot. The thing is even if you continuously fight against it, some aspects of it still gets in. America brainwash you to think white is attractive, white is better, asians are only good for math and kung fu. I think for most of us, after so many years going through it, its hard to not let it affect you....especially if youre learning that in your developing years.

在我的生活中,我大部分时间都在与种族主义作斗争,尽管我确实觉得自己产生了一些内在的自我仇恨。我没有亚洲朋友,我的家人也不是战士;他们是反暴力的,不想惹事。问题是,即使你不断地正面反抗,某些方面还是会出现。美国人给你洗脑,让你认为白人很有魅力,白人更优越,亚洲人只擅长数学和功夫。我想,对我们大多数人来说,经历了这么多年的洗脑后,很难不让它影响到自己,尤其是在你成长的岁月里。

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Administrative-Curry
I think asian self hatred is more about trying to fit into a society that doesn't really accept you because of your race. To succeed in a white society, consciously or unconsciously, you have to more or less absorb the implicit and explicit racial biases in the environment.
For example, in my field of software engineering/tech there is this pretty widespread notion that the career ceiling for asians is team lead, and any kind of executive/management position is impossible except at asian companies. If we accept the premise that executive positions lead to better pay because they are better people, then this could lead to a range of unfortunate effects. People might actually believe this on some level and think that asians are not leadership material, and that would be a form of self hatred.
Administrative-Curry

我认为亚洲人的自我憎恨更多的是试图融入一个不接受你的社会,就因为你的种族。为了在白人社会中取得成功,不管是有意识还是无意识,你都或多或少得收到环境中显性和隐性的种族偏见。
例如,在我从事的软件工程/技术领域,有一种非常普遍的观点认为,亚洲人的职业天花板就是个团队领导,除了在亚洲公司,任何类型的行政/管理职位都是不可能的。如果我们接受这样一个前提,即高管职位会带来更高的薪酬,因为他们是更好的人,那么这可能会导致一系列不幸的后果。人们可能会在某种程度上相信这一点,认为亚洲人不是做领导的料,这将会是一种自我憎恨。

原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


oddtax20
I think Asians are lacking in leadership, because I find that they just want to do the job and leave.

我认为亚洲人缺乏领导能力,因为我发现他们只想做这份工作,然后走人。

Administrative-Curry
That's kind of the symptom though, because rightly or wrongly they don't think they have a shot so they don't even try. Even with people like Andrew Yang who has been in leadership roles you can still see traces of internalised racism with pieces like this.

这是一种症状,因为不管对错,他们认为自己并没有机会,所以他们连尝试都不尝试。即使是像杨安泽这样的人,他已经担任领导角色了,你仍然可以看到这种内化种族主义的痕迹。

oddtax20
Good point. I've definitely seen that too.
oddtax20

不错的观点。我也确实看到了。

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rawrz879
Catch 22 of our culture being risk adverse and prioritizing academics over being well rounded.

我们的文化中的自相矛盾是有不利风险的,还有把学习置于全面发展之上。

Ruroryosha
our culture? speak for your self....vv

我们的文化?是在说你自己吧。。

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