你高中时暗恋的人后来怎么样了？
正文翻译
Two months ago I went back to my home town to attend the retirement concert for my Godmother, who was retiring after twenty-five years as the choral director for my hometown high school and middle school. I was meeting a group of former classmates, and we were all going to surprise her at the end of the concert. One of the people in our group was Nicole’s older sister. I approached her before the concert and asked her how Nicole was doing. She let me know that Nicole had passed away three years ago.
It isn’t surprising that she’s gone. That was the lifestyle she chose.. I’ll never know how things might have turned out if we had just done things a little differently. I wouldn’t change anything.if I had ended up with her I never would have met my fiancee, and even though I lost her last year I still wouldn’t trade the seven years we had together for anything.
两个月前，我回到家乡参加我教母的退休音乐会，我教母在我家乡的中学担任了25年的合唱指挥，即将退休。我和一群以前的同学见了面，我们准备在音乐会结束时给我教母一个惊喜。其中一个人是妮可的姐姐。音乐会开始前，我找到她，问她妮可怎么样了。她告诉我妮可三年前就去世了。
她走了我一点也不奇怪。这是她选择的生活方式。我有时在想，如果我们只是稍微改变一下做事方式，也许会有不一样的结局。但我不想改变任何事情。如果我最终和她在一起，我就永远也不会遇到我的未婚妻，即使我们在去年分手了，但我仍然不会用我们在一起的7年时光来交换任何东西。
Christopher Nelms
My high school crush was a lovely young lady named Nicole. I met her my sophomore year and we became fast friends. We talked on the phone every single day after school, we flirted, we hung out at school, she would occasionally come hang out with me at my brother’s apartment after school or on weekends. I was totally in love.
The problem was that we were never single at the same time. If she was single I had a girlfriend, if I was single she had a boyfriend - usually one of my friends. Eventually I married one of my girlfriends, and we fell out of touch.
My marriage lasted less than a year, and I thought that maybe now was the time to try to make things work. I had moved in with another old friend from high school (I was twenty at the time) and he gave me the bad news that she was now married, and married to an abusive jerk at that.
Eventually my sister convinced me to come live with her and her first husband, and in the process mentioned that my high school crush had just gotten divorced. We worked out a plan, and she called Nicole and asked her if she wanted to come visit her for a few days (they had become friends in band together in school). Nicole had no idea I was there, we hadn’t spoken in a couple of years. When my sister pulled up at Nicole’s house to pick her up, she was shocked to see me step out from the passenger side of the truck.
（回答一）我高中时的梦中情人是一个叫妮可的可爱女生。我在高一的时候认识了她，我们成了好朋友。我们每天放学后都要打电话聊天，我们互相吸引，我们经常在学校里闲逛，她偶尔会在放学后或周末来我哥哥的公寓和我一起玩。我完全爱上了她。
问题是我们从来没有同时单身过。当她单身时，我在谈女朋友，当我单身时，她在谈男朋友—她的男朋友通常都是我认识的朋友。最后我和女朋友结婚了，我们也就失去了联系。
我的婚姻持续了不到一年就结束了，我想也许现在是时候试着联系她了。我搬去和另一个高中时的老朋友住在一起(那时我20岁)，他告诉了我一个坏消息，妮可现在已经结婚了，而且嫁给了一个虐待她的混蛋。
后来，我姐姐让我去她那住一段时间，她提到妮可刚刚离婚。于是我们制定了一个计划，她打电话给妮可，问她是否想过来住几天(她们在学校的乐队时成为了朋友)。妮可不知道我在那里，我们已经好几年没说过话了。当我姐姐把车停在妮可家准备接她的时候，她看到我从副驾走了出来，吓了一大跳。
My high school crush was a lovely young lady named Nicole. I met her my sophomore year and we became fast friends. We talked on the phone every single day after school, we flirted, we hung out at school, she would occasionally come hang out with me at my brother’s apartment after school or on weekends. I was totally in love.
The problem was that we were never single at the same time. If she was single I had a girlfriend, if I was single she had a boyfriend - usually one of my friends. Eventually I married one of my girlfriends, and we fell out of touch.
My marriage lasted less than a year, and I thought that maybe now was the time to try to make things work. I had moved in with another old friend from high school (I was twenty at the time) and he gave me the bad news that she was now married, and married to an abusive jerk at that.
Eventually my sister convinced me to come live with her and her first husband, and in the process mentioned that my high school crush had just gotten divorced. We worked out a plan, and she called Nicole and asked her if she wanted to come visit her for a few days (they had become friends in band together in school). Nicole had no idea I was there, we hadn’t spoken in a couple of years. When my sister pulled up at Nicole’s house to pick her up, she was shocked to see me step out from the passenger side of the truck.
（回答一）我高中时的梦中情人是一个叫妮可的可爱女生。我在高一的时候认识了她，我们成了好朋友。我们每天放学后都要打电话聊天，我们互相吸引，我们经常在学校里闲逛，她偶尔会在放学后或周末来我哥哥的公寓和我一起玩。我完全爱上了她。
问题是我们从来没有同时单身过。当她单身时，我在谈女朋友，当我单身时，她在谈男朋友—她的男朋友通常都是我认识的朋友。最后我和女朋友结婚了，我们也就失去了联系。
我的婚姻持续了不到一年就结束了，我想也许现在是时候试着联系她了。我搬去和另一个高中时的老朋友住在一起(那时我20岁)，他告诉了我一个坏消息，妮可现在已经结婚了，而且嫁给了一个虐待她的混蛋。
后来，我姐姐让我去她那住一段时间，她提到妮可刚刚离婚。于是我们制定了一个计划，她打电话给妮可，问她是否想过来住几天(她们在学校的乐队时成为了朋友)。妮可不知道我在那里，我们已经好几年没说过话了。当我姐姐把车停在妮可家准备接她的时候，她看到我从副驾走了出来，吓了一大跳。
She ran up and gave me a huge hug, and the world felt right. We spent the next few days together, but eventually she had to go back home. We talked a lot that last night, and she confessed that she was still dealing with the trauma of the abusive husband she had just left, and said that even though she wanted us to be together, she didn’t want to start a relationship while she was still dealing with all of that. She asked me to wait for her to be ready, and I said I would. I understood.
I went away to school for a while, but when I came back to visit my sister, Nicole came over to see me. We hung out for a few hours, when she suddenly popped up and said she needed to go. She wanted to go buy some weed from someone, and she didn’t want to get there too late at night and wake him up. I asked her who she was planning to buy from. She admitted that it was her ex-husband. She had been going back to see him more and more frequently to get high, and he was trying to get her to come back to him.
I got angry. We were standing outside by her car, and I was holding half a bottle of beer. Something dawned on me then, and I asked her how she was paying for the weed. She wouldn’t look me in the eye. I got really angry, and I threw the bottle, smashing it against the wall of the house. She had never seen me truly angry before, at least not at her, and she flinched. That made me even angrier.
她跑上前来，给了我一个大大的拥抱，一切都变得美好起来。我们在一起度过了接下来的几天，但最终她不得不回家。那晚我们谈了很多,她承认,她仍在面对前夫的虐待给她带来的精神创伤。她不想立即开始一段新关系。她让我等她准备好，我说我会的。我理解她。
然后我返回学校读了一段时间书，但当我再次回家看我姐姐的时候，妮可过来看我。我们在一起呆了几个小时，她突然说她需要离开。她想从别人那里买些大麻，她不想太晚到那儿把大麻贩子吵醒。我问她打算从谁那里买。她承认大麻贩子是她的前夫。她经常去前夫那里，只为了搞大麻抽，而她的前夫也想让她回到自己身边。
我非常生气。我们站在她的车旁边，我手里还拿着半瓶啤酒。这时我突然醒悟过来，我问她是怎么买大麻的。她不敢看我的眼睛。我一下子愤怒了，把瓶子砸向房子的墙壁，瓶子应声而碎。她以前从未见过我真正动怒的样子，至少没有对她真正动怒，于是她有些畏缩。这让我更加愤怒了。
I went away to school for a while, but when I came back to visit my sister, Nicole came over to see me. We hung out for a few hours, when she suddenly popped up and said she needed to go. She wanted to go buy some weed from someone, and she didn’t want to get there too late at night and wake him up. I asked her who she was planning to buy from. She admitted that it was her ex-husband. She had been going back to see him more and more frequently to get high, and he was trying to get her to come back to him.
I got angry. We were standing outside by her car, and I was holding half a bottle of beer. Something dawned on me then, and I asked her how she was paying for the weed. She wouldn’t look me in the eye. I got really angry, and I threw the bottle, smashing it against the wall of the house. She had never seen me truly angry before, at least not at her, and she flinched. That made me even angrier.
她跑上前来，给了我一个大大的拥抱，一切都变得美好起来。我们在一起度过了接下来的几天，但最终她不得不回家。那晚我们谈了很多,她承认,她仍在面对前夫的虐待给她带来的精神创伤。她不想立即开始一段新关系。她让我等她准备好，我说我会的。我理解她。
然后我返回学校读了一段时间书，但当我再次回家看我姐姐的时候，妮可过来看我。我们在一起呆了几个小时，她突然说她需要离开。她想从别人那里买些大麻，她不想太晚到那儿把大麻贩子吵醒。我问她打算从谁那里买。她承认大麻贩子是她的前夫。她经常去前夫那里，只为了搞大麻抽，而她的前夫也想让她回到自己身边。
我非常生气。我们站在她的车旁边，我手里还拿着半瓶啤酒。这时我突然醒悟过来，我问她是怎么买大麻的。她不敢看我的眼睛。我一下子愤怒了，把瓶子砸向房子的墙壁，瓶子应声而碎。她以前从未见过我真正动怒的样子，至少没有对她真正动怒，于是她有些畏缩。这让我更加愤怒了。
Now let me clarify something here - I wasn’t angry because she was sleeping with her ex. It was her right to do whatever she wanted with whoever she wanted, I didn’t own her, and I didn’t think I did. I was angry at her because I had seen what he did to her, I had seen the migraines she got from the concussion he gave her, seen the scar from the stitches she got after he broke her jaw. I had seen all of the things this man had done to her, and I was furious that she was willing to put herself back in a situation where he could do it again, and even more furious at the fact that I knew there was nothing I could do to stop her, to protect her. Sure, I could hurt him, I could scare the piss out of him if I wanted to, but if she still kept going back to him then all that would do was make it even worse on her once he forgot the fear. The only thing I could do to actually protect her would be to kill him…but if she was going to make the choice to go back to him, then why should I ruin the rest of my life to stop her?
I was also angry that she thought, in my moment of rage, that I would ever physically hurt her. She had known me for six years by this point (not a long time now, but at the time it was almost a third of our lives), she knew that I would never strike a woman, that I would never do anything to hurt a woman, and especially not her. But in that moment she looked at me and saw him, and that also made me angry.
I took a step back away from her, put some distance between us, and said as calmly as I could “If you go over there tonight, don’t bother ever coming back over here.” Then I turned around and walked inside. I left the door open, an invitation to come back in if she wanted to. About five minutes went by, and then I heard her car door open and close, heard her engine start, heard her drive away.
现在让我澄清一点——我不是因为她和她的前夫上床而生气。她有权做任何她想做的事，我不能控制她的行为，我也不认为我想要控制她。我对她很生气，是因为我看到了她前夫对她做的事情，我看到他把她打成脑震荡给她带来的偏头痛，看到他打断她的下巴后缝合留下的伤疤。我见过这个人给她造成的伤痕,我很愤怒,是因为即便遭到虐待，她也愿意回到她前夫那里,我知道没有什么能阻止她,保护她。当然，我可以把她前夫打一顿，只要我愿意，我可以把他吓得尿裤子，但如果她回到前夫身边，我的做法只会让她的处境更糟。要想真正保护她，我唯一能做的就是杀了她前夫……但如果她一定要选择回到前夫身边，那我为什么要以毁了我的余生为代价去阻止她呢?
另一个原因也让我很生气，因为她在我发怒的时候以为我会伤害她。她认识我已经六年了(不算很长时间，但那个时候我才20出头，我们认识的时间已经占了我们生命的三分之一)，她知道我永远不会打女人，永远不会做任何伤害女人的事，尤其是伤害她。但就在那一刻，她看着我，就像看到她前夫一样，这让我很生气。
I was also angry that she thought, in my moment of rage, that I would ever physically hurt her. She had known me for six years by this point (not a long time now, but at the time it was almost a third of our lives), she knew that I would never strike a woman, that I would never do anything to hurt a woman, and especially not her. But in that moment she looked at me and saw him, and that also made me angry.
I took a step back away from her, put some distance between us, and said as calmly as I could “If you go over there tonight, don’t bother ever coming back over here.” Then I turned around and walked inside. I left the door open, an invitation to come back in if she wanted to. About five minutes went by, and then I heard her car door open and close, heard her engine start, heard her drive away.
现在让我澄清一点——我不是因为她和她的前夫上床而生气。她有权做任何她想做的事，我不能控制她的行为，我也不认为我想要控制她。我对她很生气，是因为我看到了她前夫对她做的事情，我看到他把她打成脑震荡给她带来的偏头痛，看到他打断她的下巴后缝合留下的伤疤。我见过这个人给她造成的伤痕,我很愤怒,是因为即便遭到虐待，她也愿意回到她前夫那里,我知道没有什么能阻止她,保护她。当然，我可以把她前夫打一顿，只要我愿意，我可以把他吓得尿裤子，但如果她回到前夫身边，我的做法只会让她的处境更糟。要想真正保护她，我唯一能做的就是杀了她前夫……但如果她一定要选择回到前夫身边，那我为什么要以毁了我的余生为代价去阻止她呢?
另一个原因也让我很生气，因为她在我发怒的时候以为我会伤害她。她认识我已经六年了(不算很长时间，但那个时候我才20出头，我们认识的时间已经占了我们生命的三分之一)，她知道我永远不会打女人，永远不会做任何伤害女人的事，尤其是伤害她。但就在那一刻，她看着我，就像看到她前夫一样，这让我很生气。
I never saw Nicole again after that night, but I did speak to her again twice after that. About a year later I was at my brother’s apartment when she called him. He had maintained his friendship with her even though I hadn’t, and she called to check up on him from time to time (my brother had leukemia). I answered the phone when she called, and she was so happy to hear my voice. She told me she had moved to Florida and was working at a bar, and she missed me terribly, and she wished she could see me again. We spoke for a couple of minutes, then I handed the phone to my brother and took a walk.
I found out from him later that “working at a bar” actually meant she was dancing in a strip club. She had gotten back together with her ex and they moved to Florida together. He was dealing and she was dancing. Apparently he got her hooked on a few other drugs then took off with some other dancer, so she was living down there and dancing to pay her rent and her habit. It was sad.
我后退了一步，拉开了我们之间的距离，并尽可能平静地说:“如果你今晚去你前夫那里，就再也不要回来了。”然后我转身走进了屋子。我没有关门，这是无言的邀请，请她回来，只要她愿意的话。大约五分钟过去了，然后我听到车门打开和关上的声音，听到引擎启动的声音，听到她开车离开的声音。
那天晚上之后我再也没见过妮可，但在那之后我确实又和她通过两次电话。那是大约一年后，她打电话给我哥哥时，我正在我哥哥的公寓里。我哥哥和她一直保持着友谊，而我已经和她断了联系，她不时打电话来探望哥哥的病情(我哥哥得了白血病)。她打来电话时我接了电话，她听到我的声音很高兴。她告诉我她搬到了佛罗里达，在一家酒吧工作，她非常想念我，她希望能再见到我。我们聊了几分钟，然后我把电话递给哥哥，出去散步了。
后来我从我哥哥那里知道，“在酒吧工作”实际上是指她在脱衣舞俱乐部跳舞。她和前夫重归于好，一起搬到了佛罗里达。前夫贩毒，她跳脱衣舞。很明显，她的前夫让她染上了一些其他的毒品，然后她的前夫和其他舞者私奔了，她就住在那里，通过跳脱衣舞来付房租和买毒品。听起来让人悲伤。
I found out from him later that “working at a bar” actually meant she was dancing in a strip club. She had gotten back together with her ex and they moved to Florida together. He was dealing and she was dancing. Apparently he got her hooked on a few other drugs then took off with some other dancer, so she was living down there and dancing to pay her rent and her habit. It was sad.
我后退了一步，拉开了我们之间的距离，并尽可能平静地说:“如果你今晚去你前夫那里，就再也不要回来了。”然后我转身走进了屋子。我没有关门，这是无言的邀请，请她回来，只要她愿意的话。大约五分钟过去了，然后我听到车门打开和关上的声音，听到引擎启动的声音，听到她开车离开的声音。
那天晚上之后我再也没见过妮可，但在那之后我确实又和她通过两次电话。那是大约一年后，她打电话给我哥哥时，我正在我哥哥的公寓里。我哥哥和她一直保持着友谊，而我已经和她断了联系，她不时打电话来探望哥哥的病情(我哥哥得了白血病)。她打来电话时我接了电话，她听到我的声音很高兴。她告诉我她搬到了佛罗里达，在一家酒吧工作，她非常想念我，她希望能再见到我。我们聊了几分钟，然后我把电话递给哥哥，出去散步了。
后来我从我哥哥那里知道，“在酒吧工作”实际上是指她在脱衣舞俱乐部跳舞。她和前夫重归于好，一起搬到了佛罗里达。前夫贩毒，她跳脱衣舞。很明显，她的前夫让她染上了一些其他的毒品，然后她的前夫和其他舞者私奔了，她就住在那里，通过跳脱衣舞来付房租和买毒品。听起来让人悲伤。
The last time I spoke to her was ten years later. Out of the blue one day I decided I wanted to talk to my old friend. I used an online people-finder service to get her number, and I called and left a message on her voicemail. She called me back, and we talked for about twenty minutes. It was so depressing. She was completely burnt out, she told me she was living on disability, and she had some Indian dude that took care of her. I think he was her dealer. She was so out of it that she forgot who she was talking to three times during our conversation. At one point she realized she need to tell me that her friend Robin had died six years earlier. I had to remind her that Robin was my brother, and she only knew him because of me. She kept apologizing for being so forgetful, and I assured her it was okay. It wasn’t. When I hung up the phone I knew I would never speak to her again.
I still held out hope that she would turn her life around, and a few years later I did a Google search on her name to see if I could find any social media accounts for her. All I found were her mugshots, she had been arrested seven times over two years for various drug charges. Her pictures were so disturbing, she was a year younger than me, but looked twenty years older. She looked nothing like the beautiful, vibrant girl I fell in love with in high school.
我最后一次和她说话是在十年之后。突然有一天，我决定和这位老朋友谈谈。我使用了一个网上寻人服务获得了她的号码，我给她打了电话，并在她的语音信箱留言。她给我回了电话，我们谈了大约20分钟。谈话过程太令人沮丧了。她整个人已经垮了，她告诉我她靠残障救助生活，有个印度人照顾她。我想应该是毒贩。她已经神智不清了，在我们谈话的时候，她三次忘了在跟谁说话。她对我说她的朋友罗宾在六年前去世了，于是我不得不提醒她，罗宾是我哥哥，她是因为我才认识了我哥哥。她不停地为自己的健忘道歉，我嘴上说着没什么。但心里五味杂陈。当我挂断电话时，我知道我再也不会和她说话了。
我仍然对她会改变自己的生活抱有希望，几年后，我用谷歌搜索了她的名字，看看是否能找到她的社交媒体账号。我只找到了她的照片，在过去的两年里，她因各种毒品指控被逮捕过七次。她的照片让人唏嘘，她比我小一岁，但照片却看起来比我大20岁。她看起来一点也不像我在高中时爱上的那个漂亮活泼的女孩。
I still held out hope that she would turn her life around, and a few years later I did a Google search on her name to see if I could find any social media accounts for her. All I found were her mugshots, she had been arrested seven times over two years for various drug charges. Her pictures were so disturbing, she was a year younger than me, but looked twenty years older. She looked nothing like the beautiful, vibrant girl I fell in love with in high school.
我最后一次和她说话是在十年之后。突然有一天，我决定和这位老朋友谈谈。我使用了一个网上寻人服务获得了她的号码，我给她打了电话，并在她的语音信箱留言。她给我回了电话，我们谈了大约20分钟。谈话过程太令人沮丧了。她整个人已经垮了，她告诉我她靠残障救助生活，有个印度人照顾她。我想应该是毒贩。她已经神智不清了，在我们谈话的时候，她三次忘了在跟谁说话。她对我说她的朋友罗宾在六年前去世了，于是我不得不提醒她，罗宾是我哥哥，她是因为我才认识了我哥哥。她不停地为自己的健忘道歉，我嘴上说着没什么。但心里五味杂陈。当我挂断电话时，我知道我再也不会和她说话了。
我仍然对她会改变自己的生活抱有希望，几年后，我用谷歌搜索了她的名字，看看是否能找到她的社交媒体账号。我只找到了她的照片，在过去的两年里，她因各种毒品指控被逮捕过七次。她的照片让人唏嘘，她比我小一岁，但照片却看起来比我大20岁。她看起来一点也不像我在高中时爱上的那个漂亮活泼的女孩。
Two months ago I went back to my home town to attend the retirement concert for my Godmother, who was retiring after twenty-five years as the choral director for my hometown high school and middle school. I was meeting a group of former classmates, and we were all going to surprise her at the end of the concert. One of the people in our group was Nicole’s older sister. I approached her before the concert and asked her how Nicole was doing. She let me know that Nicole had passed away three years ago.
It isn’t surprising that she’s gone. That was the lifestyle she chose.. I’ll never know how things might have turned out if we had just done things a little differently. I wouldn’t change anything.if I had ended up with her I never would have met my fiancee, and even though I lost her last year I still wouldn’t trade the seven years we had together for anything.
两个月前，我回到家乡参加我教母的退休音乐会，我教母在我家乡的中学担任了25年的合唱指挥，即将退休。我和一群以前的同学见了面，我们准备在音乐会结束时给我教母一个惊喜。其中一个人是妮可的姐姐。音乐会开始前，我找到她，问她妮可怎么样了。她告诉我妮可三年前就去世了。
她走了我一点也不奇怪。这是她选择的生活方式。我有时在想，如果我们只是稍微改变一下做事方式，也许会有不一样的结局。但我不想改变任何事情。如果我最终和她在一起，我就永远也不会遇到我的未婚妻，即使我们在去年分手了，但我仍然不会用我们在一起的7年时光来交换任何东西。
EDIT: A couple have people have asked why I shared her pictures, and it’s a fair question. I debated for a bit about whether it was appropriate before I finally decided to include them. I wanted to illustrate the change that she went through, to show how much her choices affected her. I know from talking to her that last time that she regretted those choices, although she couldn’t stop making them. I also know that she would have been okay with me sharing her pictures. She was always very open about who she was, and I believe she would be happy knowing that people had heard her story, as tragic as it is.
Also, a few people have asked why I didn’t do more to prevent her from going back to her ex or trying to break her addiction. The problem is that it wasn’t the drugs that she was addicted to, it was the control that her ex had over her. He made her believe that she was his property, and in the end I couldn’t get through to her that the only person she belonged to was herself. Either way, I couldn’t force her to make different choices, all I could do was show her that there were alternatives and then leave her to live her life.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and comment.
附注:有人问我为什么要分享她的照片，这个问题问得好。在我最终决定把照片发出来之前，我也很犹豫。我想展示她人生所经历的变化，展示她的选择对她有多大的影响。我从上次和她的谈话中知道，尽管她无法摆脱自己的生活轨迹，但她确实后悔了。我也知道她会同意我分享她的照片。她对自己是什么样的人很坦率，我相信她会很高兴知道人们听到她的故事，尽管故事本事是个悲剧。
还有一些人问我，为什么我没有做更多的事情来阻止她回到她的前夫身边，或者试着戒掉她的毒瘾。问题不在于她对毒品上瘾，而在于她前夫对她的控制。他让她相信她是他的财产，我无法让她明白她只属于她自己。无论如何，我都不能强迫她做出不同的选择，我所能做的就是让她知道还有其他选择，然后让她选择过自己的生活。
感谢每一个花时间阅读和评论的人。
Also, a few people have asked why I didn’t do more to prevent her from going back to her ex or trying to break her addiction. The problem is that it wasn’t the drugs that she was addicted to, it was the control that her ex had over her. He made her believe that she was his property, and in the end I couldn’t get through to her that the only person she belonged to was herself. Either way, I couldn’t force her to make different choices, all I could do was show her that there were alternatives and then leave her to live her life.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and comment.
附注:有人问我为什么要分享她的照片，这个问题问得好。在我最终决定把照片发出来之前，我也很犹豫。我想展示她人生所经历的变化，展示她的选择对她有多大的影响。我从上次和她的谈话中知道，尽管她无法摆脱自己的生活轨迹，但她确实后悔了。我也知道她会同意我分享她的照片。她对自己是什么样的人很坦率，我相信她会很高兴知道人们听到她的故事，尽管故事本事是个悲剧。
还有一些人问我，为什么我没有做更多的事情来阻止她回到她的前夫身边，或者试着戒掉她的毒瘾。问题不在于她对毒品上瘾，而在于她前夫对她的控制。他让她相信她是他的财产，我无法让她明白她只属于她自己。无论如何，我都不能强迫她做出不同的选择，我所能做的就是让她知道还有其他选择，然后让她选择过自己的生活。
感谢每一个花时间阅读和评论的人。
评论翻译
Rose Cruz
“If you go ever there tonight, don’t bother ever coming back over here.” Then I turned around and walked inside. I left the door open, an invitation to come back in if she wanted to.
She drove away…
What if she came inside? What if. What ifs.
That particular line struck the most out of the whole story. She had a choice to come in, yet she didn’t. She chose her destiny. She took the road that tarnished her self respect, mind, body and soul. The choice was hers. Nobody is accountable for screwing up her life.
Would you have been writing now about being married to your high school crush if she had decided to come in? Maybe.
We chose our own destiny. All the choices that we make, good or bad are the outcome of what we sow. We reap what we sow. Sometimes, shit happens… things go awfully bad.
She knew that she couldnt go back, rewind the phase and erase her mistakes. Yet deep down, i’m sure that she would have wondered the same as we all do too.
Nonetheless, thank you for sharing this.
“我后退了一步，拉开了我们之间的距离，并尽可能平静地说:“如果你今晚去你前夫那里，就再也不要回来了。”然后我转身走进了屋子。我没有关门，这是无言的邀请，请她回来，只要她愿意的话。大约五分钟过去了，然后我听到车门打开和关上的声音，听到引擎启动的声音，听到她开车离开的声音。”
她选择开车走了…
这段话在整个故事中最引人注目。她可以选择留下，但她没有。她选择了自己的命运。她选择的道路玷污了她的自尊、思想、身体和灵魂。选择权在她。旁人不必为她把自己的生活搞砸负责。
如果你的高中恋人决定留下来，你现在也许已经和她结婚了吧?也许吧。
我们选择了自己的命运。我们做出了自己的选择，无论是好是坏，都是我们选择的结果。但有时候，一旦选错了路，就很难回头。
她知道她不能回到过去，不能再回到那个十字路口，不能把她的错误抹去。但在内心深处，我确信她也会和我们一样有同样的疑问，也许那天做出不同的选择，结果可能会大不一样。
尽管如此，还是谢谢你的分享。
“If you go ever there tonight, don’t bother ever coming back over here.” Then I turned around and walked inside. I left the door open, an invitation to come back in if she wanted to.
She drove away…
What if she came inside? What if. What ifs.
That particular line struck the most out of the whole story. She had a choice to come in, yet she didn’t. She chose her destiny. She took the road that tarnished her self respect, mind, body and soul. The choice was hers. Nobody is accountable for screwing up her life.
Would you have been writing now about being married to your high school crush if she had decided to come in? Maybe.
We chose our own destiny. All the choices that we make, good or bad are the outcome of what we sow. We reap what we sow. Sometimes, shit happens… things go awfully bad.
She knew that she couldnt go back, rewind the phase and erase her mistakes. Yet deep down, i’m sure that she would have wondered the same as we all do too.
Nonetheless, thank you for sharing this.
“我后退了一步，拉开了我们之间的距离，并尽可能平静地说:“如果你今晚去你前夫那里，就再也不要回来了。”然后我转身走进了屋子。我没有关门，这是无言的邀请，请她回来，只要她愿意的话。大约五分钟过去了，然后我听到车门打开和关上的声音，听到引擎启动的声音，听到她开车离开的声音。”
她选择开车走了…
这段话在整个故事中最引人注目。她可以选择留下，但她没有。她选择了自己的命运。她选择的道路玷污了她的自尊、思想、身体和灵魂。选择权在她。旁人不必为她把自己的生活搞砸负责。
如果你的高中恋人决定留下来，你现在也许已经和她结婚了吧?也许吧。
我们选择了自己的命运。我们做出了自己的选择，无论是好是坏，都是我们选择的结果。但有时候，一旦选错了路，就很难回头。
她知道她不能回到过去，不能再回到那个十字路口，不能把她的错误抹去。但在内心深处，我确信她也会和我们一样有同样的疑问，也许那天做出不同的选择，结果可能会大不一样。
尽管如此，还是谢谢你的分享。
Reggie Harrell
Some people can't be saved from themselves and the decisions they make. It's probably best you didn't get more involved than you did, or most likely you would've ended up ruining your life as well, just being associated with her. It's tough wanting to be with someone and wishing they would do things differently. Unfortunately, you just can't babysit and handhold adults every step of the way to make sure they're not making stupid decisions. If they don't want to be helped, just stay away, as hard as it may seem. At least you'll still have your own life to live, and they won't be able to drag you down with them. People who constantly gravitate towards drama and trouble are toxic, and should be avoided at all costs.
有些人注定无法被拯救。你最好不要太投入，否则和这种人绑在一起，你也会毁了自己的生活。想要和一个人在一起并且希望他们做出改变是很难的。不幸的是，你不能照顾和拉住成年人的每一步，以确保他们没有做出愚蠢的决定。如果他们不想得到帮助，那就离他们远点，尽管看起来很困难。至少你还有自己的生活，他们不会把你拖下水。生活中那些戏精和惹事精是有毒的，正常人应该不惜一切避免和他们靠近。
Some people can't be saved from themselves and the decisions they make. It's probably best you didn't get more involved than you did, or most likely you would've ended up ruining your life as well, just being associated with her. It's tough wanting to be with someone and wishing they would do things differently. Unfortunately, you just can't babysit and handhold adults every step of the way to make sure they're not making stupid decisions. If they don't want to be helped, just stay away, as hard as it may seem. At least you'll still have your own life to live, and they won't be able to drag you down with them. People who constantly gravitate towards drama and trouble are toxic, and should be avoided at all costs.
有些人注定无法被拯救。你最好不要太投入，否则和这种人绑在一起，你也会毁了自己的生活。想要和一个人在一起并且希望他们做出改变是很难的。不幸的是，你不能照顾和拉住成年人的每一步，以确保他们没有做出愚蠢的决定。如果他们不想得到帮助，那就离他们远点，尽管看起来很困难。至少你还有自己的生活，他们不会把你拖下水。生活中那些戏精和惹事精是有毒的，正常人应该不惜一切避免和他们靠近。
Ken Smith
The fantasy is, you could have done more…swept her away from her ex, the drugs, and the abuse. You could help her to see herself in a new light and you could fix her!
The realty is, none of those things are true. She made choices…and they were her’s to make. She was in an abusive relationship…and she chose to stay. She was offered drugs…and she chose to use them. She was offered a chance at a lifetime with you…and she turned it down. Those were her choices, it was her life.
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss…both of your brother and your friend. Your brother died because of a bad roll of the dice of fate: He got sick through no fault of his own. Your friend died because of her own choices…her own decisions. Between the two, I feel your brother was the one I feel badly for…
人生充满了幻想，你以为你可以做得更多，把她从前夫身边带走，远离毒品和虐待。你可以帮助她以新的眼光看待自己，你可以治好她!
但事实是，你帮不了她。她做出了自己的选择，而这些选择应该由她来做。她处于一段受虐待的关系中，但她依然选择留下来。有人给她提供毒品，她选择接受。你给了她一个与你共度一生的机会，但她拒绝了。这是她的选择，这是她的生活。
听到你失去了你的哥哥，我非常难过。你的哥哥才是真正死于命运给予的不幸:他生病（白血病）并不是他自己的过错。而你的暗恋情人死于她自己做出的选择，她自己的决定。在这两者之间，我觉得你哥哥才是最可怜的人……
The fantasy is, you could have done more…swept her away from her ex, the drugs, and the abuse. You could help her to see herself in a new light and you could fix her!
The realty is, none of those things are true. She made choices…and they were her’s to make. She was in an abusive relationship…and she chose to stay. She was offered drugs…and she chose to use them. She was offered a chance at a lifetime with you…and she turned it down. Those were her choices, it was her life.
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss…both of your brother and your friend. Your brother died because of a bad roll of the dice of fate: He got sick through no fault of his own. Your friend died because of her own choices…her own decisions. Between the two, I feel your brother was the one I feel badly for…
人生充满了幻想，你以为你可以做得更多，把她从前夫身边带走，远离毒品和虐待。你可以帮助她以新的眼光看待自己，你可以治好她!
但事实是，你帮不了她。她做出了自己的选择，而这些选择应该由她来做。她处于一段受虐待的关系中，但她依然选择留下来。有人给她提供毒品，她选择接受。你给了她一个与你共度一生的机会，但她拒绝了。这是她的选择，这是她的生活。
听到你失去了你的哥哥，我非常难过。你的哥哥才是真正死于命运给予的不幸:他生病（白血病）并不是他自己的过错。而你的暗恋情人死于她自己做出的选择，她自己的决定。在这两者之间，我觉得你哥哥才是最可怜的人……
Paris Bourne Tatsionas, lives in Edinburgh
The story starts when I was 15 years old, summer 2011.
I first saw her on Facebook, I checked her photos and I send a friend request. After an hour she accepted it.
You know how it goes, right?
I send her a message:
-Hi, how are you?
-Hi, I’m good, how about you?
-I’m good as well, thank you. How is your day been?
-Good, how about yours?
At the end I asked her if she is going out tonight and she said yes.So I thought maybe I could meet her
（回答二）故事开始于我15岁那年的夏天。
我第一次见到她是在脸书上，我查看了她的照片，并向她发送了好友请求。一个小时后，她接受了。
你们都知道接下来的流程，对吧?
我给她发了个信息:
-嗨，你好吗?
你好，我很好，你呢?
-我也很好，谢谢。你今天过得怎么样?
-很好，你呢?
最后我问她今晚会出去玩吗？她说会。所以我想也许出去能碰见她。
The story starts when I was 15 years old, summer 2011.
I first saw her on Facebook, I checked her photos and I send a friend request. After an hour she accepted it.
You know how it goes, right?
I send her a message:
-Hi, how are you?
-Hi, I’m good, how about you?
-I’m good as well, thank you. How is your day been?
-Good, how about yours?
At the end I asked her if she is going out tonight and she said yes.So I thought maybe I could meet her
（回答二）故事开始于我15岁那年的夏天。
我第一次见到她是在脸书上，我查看了她的照片，并向她发送了好友请求。一个小时后，她接受了。
你们都知道接下来的流程，对吧?
我给她发了个信息:
-嗨，你好吗?
你好，我很好，你呢?
-我也很好，谢谢。你今天过得怎么样?
-很好，你呢?
最后我问她今晚会出去玩吗？她说会。所以我想也许出去能碰见她。
I was a bit nervous as I was getting ready for the night and my friend was making fun of me. As we were walking on the maine street of my town adn talking about something with my friend I turned to my left, and I saw her with her friend.
They were looking at a window shopping, admiring a pair of shoes if I remember well.
Suddenly I got nervous again, and started sweating
She turned around and she saw me, smiled and said hey.
As I opened my mouth to say hey as well, my voice changed and in a high pitch a hello came out.
I my god I thought, the one moment I had to make a good impression and this high pitch comes out.
I didn’t stop to continue the conversation as I was so embarrassed that I continued walking.
The next day, I messaged her again and asked if she had fun last night and all that. Apart from that conversation we didn’t talk again for the rest of the summer.
As September came, my parents decided I had to change high schools .
我为那晚见面做准备的时候有点紧张，以至于我的朋友都在取笑我。随后我们走在镇子的大街上，我和我的朋友谈论着什么，我向左一转头，看见她和她的朋友在一起。
如果我没记错的话，他们正看着橱窗，欣赏着一双鞋子。
我突然又紧张起来，开始冒汗。
她转过身，看见了我，微笑着对我说了声嗨。
当我张嘴也想说“嗨”时，我的声音变了，用变形的嗓音喊出了“你好”。
天哪，我当时在想，第一次见面都要给人留下好印象，但我却发出了怪音。
我没有停下来继续交谈，因为我太尴尬了，于是我继续向前走了。
第二天，我再次给她发短信，问她昨晚玩得开心吗?除了那次谈话，我们在这个夏天剩下的时间里没有再说话。
到了9月，我父母决定为我换所高中。
They were looking at a window shopping, admiring a pair of shoes if I remember well.
Suddenly I got nervous again, and started sweating
She turned around and she saw me, smiled and said hey.
As I opened my mouth to say hey as well, my voice changed and in a high pitch a hello came out.
I my god I thought, the one moment I had to make a good impression and this high pitch comes out.
I didn’t stop to continue the conversation as I was so embarrassed that I continued walking.
The next day, I messaged her again and asked if she had fun last night and all that. Apart from that conversation we didn’t talk again for the rest of the summer.
As September came, my parents decided I had to change high schools .
我为那晚见面做准备的时候有点紧张，以至于我的朋友都在取笑我。随后我们走在镇子的大街上，我和我的朋友谈论着什么，我向左一转头，看见她和她的朋友在一起。
如果我没记错的话，他们正看着橱窗，欣赏着一双鞋子。
我突然又紧张起来，开始冒汗。
她转过身，看见了我，微笑着对我说了声嗨。
当我张嘴也想说“嗨”时，我的声音变了，用变形的嗓音喊出了“你好”。
天哪，我当时在想，第一次见面都要给人留下好印象，但我却发出了怪音。
我没有停下来继续交谈，因为我太尴尬了，于是我继续向前走了。
第二天，我再次给她发短信，问她昨晚玩得开心吗?除了那次谈话，我们在这个夏天剩下的时间里没有再说话。
到了9月，我父母决定为我换所高中。
I didn’t mind about the change, as I knew a few guys from the new high school. As I was walking to my class, first day I enter the classroom and there she was… sitting with the same friend of hers at the desk and chatting.
I smiled and she smiled back and said hello.
For the next three years we became friends though I always continued to like her. There were periods of time that I thought she liked me as well, but I didn’t have the courage to make a move.p
As we graduated high school, I started studying in Edinburgh, Scotland and she went to Athens, Greece to pursue her dream.
Fast forward in 2017, I went to Athens and in the subway out of nowhere I saw her.
It was one of the biggest smiles I ever had in my face for a while. I hugged her and we started talking.
我并不介意这种改变，因为我想认识一些新同学。当我第一天走进教室，就看到她和一个朋友坐在桌旁聊天。
我对她笑了笑，她也对我微笑并打招呼。
在接下来的三年里，我们成为了朋友，尽管我一直都很喜欢她。有一段时间，我觉得她也喜欢我，但我没有勇气采取行动
高中毕业后，我开始在苏格兰的爱丁堡学习，而她去了希腊的雅典追求她的梦想。
快进到2017年，我去了雅典，在地铁里突然看到了她。
那一刻，我脸上露出了人生中最灿烂的笑容。我拥抱了她，然后开始交谈。
I smiled and she smiled back and said hello.
For the next three years we became friends though I always continued to like her. There were periods of time that I thought she liked me as well, but I didn’t have the courage to make a move.p
As we graduated high school, I started studying in Edinburgh, Scotland and she went to Athens, Greece to pursue her dream.
Fast forward in 2017, I went to Athens and in the subway out of nowhere I saw her.
It was one of the biggest smiles I ever had in my face for a while. I hugged her and we started talking.
我并不介意这种改变，因为我想认识一些新同学。当我第一天走进教室，就看到她和一个朋友坐在桌旁聊天。
我对她笑了笑，她也对我微笑并打招呼。
在接下来的三年里，我们成为了朋友，尽管我一直都很喜欢她。有一段时间，我觉得她也喜欢我，但我没有勇气采取行动
高中毕业后，我开始在苏格兰的爱丁堡学习，而她去了希腊的雅典追求她的梦想。
快进到2017年，我去了雅典，在地铁里突然看到了她。
那一刻，我脸上露出了人生中最灿烂的笑容。我拥抱了她，然后开始交谈。
She had to go somewhere but told me to meet and go for a coffee later on in the day, I believe it was around 11 am at that point.
Around 4 o’clock we met again and went for coffee.
She is in a relationship for the last 2.5 years, the guy is 29 years old, and she is almost done with her degree. They live together and they have a dog as well.
She is happy with him, even though her family doesn’t like the guy (me neither to be honest).
I’m happy for her, she has figured her way.
I wish I had told her that I liked her in high school. A girl told recently (2018) she did like me as well in high school, I was her crush as well. I do hope that at some point in the future I will meet her again, and if she is single then I will tell her.
她要赶着去某个地方，所以让我晚些时候见面喝杯咖啡，我想当时大概是上午11点左右。
下午四点钟左右，我们又见面了，一边喝咖啡一边聊天。
她已经和她的男友交往了两年半，男友29岁，而她也快毕业了。他们住在一起，还养了一只狗。
她和他在一起很开心，尽管她的家人不喜欢他(老实说，我也不喜欢)。
我为她感到高兴，她已经找到了自己的生活道路。
我真希望我在高中时就告诉她我喜欢她。一个女孩最近告诉我，她在高中时也喜欢我，我也是她的暗恋对象。我真的希望在未来的某个时候我会再见到她，如果她是单身，我会告诉她的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Around 4 o’clock we met again and went for coffee.
She is in a relationship for the last 2.5 years, the guy is 29 years old, and she is almost done with her degree. They live together and they have a dog as well.
She is happy with him, even though her family doesn’t like the guy (me neither to be honest).
I’m happy for her, she has figured her way.
I wish I had told her that I liked her in high school. A girl told recently (2018) she did like me as well in high school, I was her crush as well. I do hope that at some point in the future I will meet her again, and if she is single then I will tell her.
她要赶着去某个地方，所以让我晚些时候见面喝杯咖啡，我想当时大概是上午11点左右。
下午四点钟左右，我们又见面了，一边喝咖啡一边聊天。
她已经和她的男友交往了两年半，男友29岁，而她也快毕业了。他们住在一起，还养了一只狗。
她和他在一起很开心，尽管她的家人不喜欢他(老实说，我也不喜欢)。
我为她感到高兴，她已经找到了自己的生活道路。
我真希望我在高中时就告诉她我喜欢她。一个女孩最近告诉我，她在高中时也喜欢我，我也是她的暗恋对象。我真的希望在未来的某个时候我会再见到她，如果她是单身，我会告诉她的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
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