
正文翻译

What are top tricks of psychology that everyone should follow to make life easier and keep ahead of others?
要让生活更轻松,并领先他人,应该遵循哪些顶级的心理学技巧?

What are top tricks of psychology that everyone should follow to make life easier and keep ahead of others?
要让生活更轻松,并领先他人,应该遵循哪些顶级的心理学技巧?
评论翻译
Lukas Schwekendiek
1) Fake vs. Real - Our minds cannot differentiate between real and fake inputs. If you tell yourself “I am confident.” Sooner or later your mind will adopt this mindset as reality. This is where the Fake it until you make it idea originated.
2) Subconscious Decision making - Our subconscious mind makes roughly 90% of the choices we make every day. If you develop a great mindset about the world, yourself and others, your subconscious mind will automatically make 90% of all choices you make in that favor. Make your subconscious mind work for you!
3) Get on the Positivity Drug - Positivity, as well as negativity, are addictive. When you walk around smiling all day, other people will adopt similar behavior. This causes them to smile back at you, making you even happier. Start being positive and it will increase itself like Magic!
4) Always agree first - People want to know they are right more than anything. Agreeing with them first gives them the security of you being on their side. This makes them trust you and then you can tell them what you truly think. They will be more likely to listen and comply to what you have to say if you agree first.
5) Door in the face - Ask someone for something so outrageous they will definitely say no, and then go in with your actual request. People are more likely to agree to something smaller if they just disagreed with something big.
1、虚假与真实——我们的大脑无法区分真实与虚假的输入,如果你告诉自己“我很有信心”,你的大脑迟早会把这种心态当成现实,这就是 Fake it until you make it 想法的起源。
2、潜意识决策——我们的潜意识决策了我们每天大约90% 的选择,如果你对这个世界、对自己和他人有一个很好的心态,你的潜意识就会自动地做出90% 的选择,让你的潜意识为你工作 !
3、 "积极性瘾"——积极性,以及消极性,都会使人上瘾,你整天微笑着走来走去,其他人也会采取类似的行为,这会让他们对你报以微笑,让你更快乐,开始变得积极起来,它会像魔法一样增加你的魅力!
4、先表达认同——人们想知道他们是正确的,而且比什么都重要,首先,与他人达成一致会给他们安全感,因为你站在他们一边,这会让他们信任你,然后你可以再告诉他们你真实的想法,如果你先表示认同,他们就更有可能倾听并遵从你的意见。
5、以退为进——向某人提出一些过分的要求,他们肯定会说不,然后他们会按照你的真实要求的去做,如果人们不同意大的事情,那么他们更有可能同意小的事情。
1) Fake vs. Real - Our minds cannot differentiate between real and fake inputs. If you tell yourself “I am confident.” Sooner or later your mind will adopt this mindset as reality. This is where the Fake it until you make it idea originated.
2) Subconscious Decision making - Our subconscious mind makes roughly 90% of the choices we make every day. If you develop a great mindset about the world, yourself and others, your subconscious mind will automatically make 90% of all choices you make in that favor. Make your subconscious mind work for you!
3) Get on the Positivity Drug - Positivity, as well as negativity, are addictive. When you walk around smiling all day, other people will adopt similar behavior. This causes them to smile back at you, making you even happier. Start being positive and it will increase itself like Magic!
4) Always agree first - People want to know they are right more than anything. Agreeing with them first gives them the security of you being on their side. This makes them trust you and then you can tell them what you truly think. They will be more likely to listen and comply to what you have to say if you agree first.
5) Door in the face - Ask someone for something so outrageous they will definitely say no, and then go in with your actual request. People are more likely to agree to something smaller if they just disagreed with something big.
1、虚假与真实——我们的大脑无法区分真实与虚假的输入,如果你告诉自己“我很有信心”,你的大脑迟早会把这种心态当成现实,这就是 Fake it until you make it 想法的起源。
2、潜意识决策——我们的潜意识决策了我们每天大约90% 的选择,如果你对这个世界、对自己和他人有一个很好的心态,你的潜意识就会自动地做出90% 的选择,让你的潜意识为你工作 !
3、 "积极性瘾"——积极性,以及消极性,都会使人上瘾,你整天微笑着走来走去,其他人也会采取类似的行为,这会让他们对你报以微笑,让你更快乐,开始变得积极起来,它会像魔法一样增加你的魅力!
4、先表达认同——人们想知道他们是正确的,而且比什么都重要,首先,与他人达成一致会给他们安全感,因为你站在他们一边,这会让他们信任你,然后你可以再告诉他们你真实的想法,如果你先表示认同,他们就更有可能倾听并遵从你的意见。
5、以退为进——向某人提出一些过分的要求,他们肯定会说不,然后他们会按照你的真实要求的去做,如果人们不同意大的事情,那么他们更有可能同意小的事情。
6) Foot in the door - If the above technique doesn’t work, then next time try a small request they are likely to agree on, and then throwing in a bigger one. This only works with progressively increasing requests, but people, in general, will comply with bigger requests if they already agreed to a smaller one.
7) Copy their Body Language - Copying someone else’s body language creates trust. They will feel more connected to you and feel more affection towards you. You encourage them on a subconscious level, that you are like them.
8) Copy their tone of voice and energy - Similar to the above point, if you copy the inflection and tone of their voice, and can give off the same energy, they will feel closer to you.
9) Make making Choices easy - There is a simple Trick that works every time when you cannot make a choice between A or B. Take out a coin. Give it to your friend and have them flip it. They are not allowed to tell you if it was heads or tails. Instead, while it is in the air, you will have made a wish for the coin to land one way or another. Try this with a friend. This works even when someone has seen the trick before.
10) The most interesting person in the world - Treat your conversation partner like they are the most important thing in the world. What they say will save the entire world. Treating someone like that will make you actively listen and be fully into the conversation. This gives them the feeling of importance and provides them with the signal that you are deeply intrigued, interested and invested in them.
6、门槛效应——如果上面的技巧不奏效,那么下次可以尝试提出一个他们很可能同意的小要求,然后再抛出一个更大的要求,这只对逐渐增加的要求有效,但一般来说,如果人们已经同意了一个较小的要求,他们就会答应更大的要求。
7、复制肢体语言——复制别人的肢体语言可以创造信任,他们会觉得和你更有联系,对你更有好感,你在潜意识层面鼓励他们,你和他们一样。
8、模仿语气和能量——与上面的观点类似,如果你模仿他们的声音的语调和语气,并能发出同样的能量,他们就会觉得和你更亲近。
9、选择简单化——有一个简单的窍门,每次当你无法在A或B之间做出选择时,都会有效:
拿出一枚硬币,把它交给你的朋友,让他们抛,但他们不可以告诉你是正面还是反面——当硬币还在空中翻飞的时候,你会许愿让硬币以一种方式或另一种方式落地(而那就是你的选择),和朋友一起试试,即使有人以前见过这种把戏,这种方法也能奏效。
10、世界上最重要的人—— 把你的谈话对象当成是世界上最重要的人来对待,他们说的话会拯救整个世界,这样对待一个人,会让你积极地倾听并完全投入到谈话中,这给他们自己很重要的感觉,并向他们释出信号,表明你对他们深感兴趣,对期所言之事甚为投入。
7) Copy their Body Language - Copying someone else’s body language creates trust. They will feel more connected to you and feel more affection towards you. You encourage them on a subconscious level, that you are like them.
8) Copy their tone of voice and energy - Similar to the above point, if you copy the inflection and tone of their voice, and can give off the same energy, they will feel closer to you.
9) Make making Choices easy - There is a simple Trick that works every time when you cannot make a choice between A or B. Take out a coin. Give it to your friend and have them flip it. They are not allowed to tell you if it was heads or tails. Instead, while it is in the air, you will have made a wish for the coin to land one way or another. Try this with a friend. This works even when someone has seen the trick before.
10) The most interesting person in the world - Treat your conversation partner like they are the most important thing in the world. What they say will save the entire world. Treating someone like that will make you actively listen and be fully into the conversation. This gives them the feeling of importance and provides them with the signal that you are deeply intrigued, interested and invested in them.
6、门槛效应——如果上面的技巧不奏效,那么下次可以尝试提出一个他们很可能同意的小要求,然后再抛出一个更大的要求,这只对逐渐增加的要求有效,但一般来说,如果人们已经同意了一个较小的要求,他们就会答应更大的要求。
7、复制肢体语言——复制别人的肢体语言可以创造信任,他们会觉得和你更有联系,对你更有好感,你在潜意识层面鼓励他们,你和他们一样。
8、模仿语气和能量——与上面的观点类似,如果你模仿他们的声音的语调和语气,并能发出同样的能量,他们就会觉得和你更亲近。
9、选择简单化——有一个简单的窍门,每次当你无法在A或B之间做出选择时,都会有效:
拿出一枚硬币,把它交给你的朋友,让他们抛,但他们不可以告诉你是正面还是反面——当硬币还在空中翻飞的时候,你会许愿让硬币以一种方式或另一种方式落地(而那就是你的选择),和朋友一起试试,即使有人以前见过这种把戏,这种方法也能奏效。
10、世界上最重要的人—— 把你的谈话对象当成是世界上最重要的人来对待,他们说的话会拯救整个世界,这样对待一个人,会让你积极地倾听并完全投入到谈话中,这给他们自己很重要的感觉,并向他们释出信号,表明你对他们深感兴趣,对期所言之事甚为投入。
11) Eye Contact for affection - Holding Eye contact with a stranger for longer than 7 seconds will make them feel uncomfortable. This is because only people that know each other maintain eye contact for longer, giving the stranger the feeling that you know them on a deeper level. That being said, the longer the eye contact is between you and another person, the more affectionate you will grow towards one another. Try holding eye contact for 15 minutes with someone and you will be very likely to deepen your connection.
12) Give a reason for something, people will comply - Ever stuck in a line? Go up to the person in front of you and give them any reason you want to. Most people will let you go ahead in the line. In the study, people asked to get in front of a line for a printer with the reason “I need to print something”. This caused over 80% of the people to agree, although the reason was not substantial at all.
13) You are an extra in other people’s lives - Think about how much you care for an extra in a movie. This is the level of affection every stranger has for you. Do you remember what the extras wore? What their hair was like? Neither do others care for your clothes or hair.
14) Be honest - People can detect liars, even if they cannot determine the lie itself. There is a feeling they get making them distrust you. This comes from millennia of needing to know the traitor in the group to ensure one's survival. Besides, being honest prevents so many problems.
15) Call them by their name more often - People want to feel important and valuable. Calling them by their name creates the belief that you value them more than others, increasing their affection and trust towards you.
11、眼神交流—— 与陌生人保持7秒以上的眼神交流会让他们感到不舒服,这是因为只有相互了解的人才会保持较长时间的眼神接触,这会让陌生人感觉到你对他有更深层次的了解,也就是说,你和另一个人之间的目光接触时间越长,你们之间的感情就会越深,试着与某人保持15分钟的目光接触,你很有可能加深你们的联系。
12、给某事一个理由,人们就会顺从—— 你排过队吗?走到排你前面的人面前,给他们任意一个你想到的理由,大多数人都会同意你排到前面去,在某项研究中,人们在打印机前排队,测试者随意给一个理由“我需要打印一些东西”,使得超过80% 的人同意,尽管这个理由根本并不充分。
13、临时演员—— 想想你对电影中的一个临时演员有多关心,这便是每一个陌生人对你的感情程度,你还记得那些临时演员穿什么衣服吗?他们的头发是什么样的?别人不会关心你的衣服和头发。
14)诚实—— 人们可以察觉到说谎,即使他们无法确定谎言本身,他们会有一种感觉,这种感觉会让他们不信任你,这源于数千年来人类为了确保自己的生存而需要识别群体中的叛徒,另外,诚实可以防止很多问题。
15) 经常直呼名字 ——人们都希望感觉自己很重要,很有价值,称呼他们的名字会让他们相信你比其他人更重视他们,增加他们对你的感情和信任。
12) Give a reason for something, people will comply - Ever stuck in a line? Go up to the person in front of you and give them any reason you want to. Most people will let you go ahead in the line. In the study, people asked to get in front of a line for a printer with the reason “I need to print something”. This caused over 80% of the people to agree, although the reason was not substantial at all.
13) You are an extra in other people’s lives - Think about how much you care for an extra in a movie. This is the level of affection every stranger has for you. Do you remember what the extras wore? What their hair was like? Neither do others care for your clothes or hair.
14) Be honest - People can detect liars, even if they cannot determine the lie itself. There is a feeling they get making them distrust you. This comes from millennia of needing to know the traitor in the group to ensure one's survival. Besides, being honest prevents so many problems.
15) Call them by their name more often - People want to feel important and valuable. Calling them by their name creates the belief that you value them more than others, increasing their affection and trust towards you.
11、眼神交流—— 与陌生人保持7秒以上的眼神交流会让他们感到不舒服,这是因为只有相互了解的人才会保持较长时间的眼神接触,这会让陌生人感觉到你对他有更深层次的了解,也就是说,你和另一个人之间的目光接触时间越长,你们之间的感情就会越深,试着与某人保持15分钟的目光接触,你很有可能加深你们的联系。
12、给某事一个理由,人们就会顺从—— 你排过队吗?走到排你前面的人面前,给他们任意一个你想到的理由,大多数人都会同意你排到前面去,在某项研究中,人们在打印机前排队,测试者随意给一个理由“我需要打印一些东西”,使得超过80% 的人同意,尽管这个理由根本并不充分。
13、临时演员—— 想想你对电影中的一个临时演员有多关心,这便是每一个陌生人对你的感情程度,你还记得那些临时演员穿什么衣服吗?他们的头发是什么样的?别人不会关心你的衣服和头发。
14)诚实—— 人们可以察觉到说谎,即使他们无法确定谎言本身,他们会有一种感觉,这种感觉会让他们不信任你,这源于数千年来人类为了确保自己的生存而需要识别群体中的叛徒,另外,诚实可以防止很多问题。
15) 经常直呼名字 ——人们都希望感觉自己很重要,很有价值,称呼他们的名字会让他们相信你比其他人更重视他们,增加他们对你的感情和信任。
16) Stay silent for more information - Unless you have practiced meditation for a while you will want to break silences. Silences create an awkward pause that makes us feel like we are growing distant to the other person. If you stay silent, the other person will try to break that silence.
17) Embodiment Theory - This theory states that we feel emotions as a reaction to our body. Meaning that we feel happy because we smile, we feel sad because we cry and we feel angry because we punch something. Want to feel happier? Just crack a smile :)
18) Wider stance causes confidence - Take up as much space as you can! The more space you take up in a room the more confident you will feel. Sit with your legs as open as you can, put an arm on the chair next to you, and stand widely with your arms open.
19) Choosing a partner based on smell - A big factor in choosing a partner is smell. Our natural body odor comes from our immune system. If we smell too much like our partner they will not like the smell. This is due to natural sextion as people with similar immune systems were not able to have children with strong immune systems.
20) Color and Emotion - Every color is attached to a specific emotion. Wearing such colors creates more of those emotions. Want someone to fall in love with you? Wear red. Want to feel more confident? Wear black. Want to feel more at peace? Wear blue.
16、沉默以待——除非你练习过冥想,否则你会想要打破沉默,沉默会造成一种尴尬的停顿,让我们觉得自己与对方的距离越来越远,而如果你保持沉默,对方就会试图打破这种沉默。
17、身体性理论(Embodiment Theory)——这个理论指出,我们感觉到情绪是对身体的反应,意思是说,我们感到快乐是因为我们微笑,我们感到悲伤是因为我们哭泣,我们感到愤怒是因为我们打了东西,想让自己感觉更快乐吗?就开怀大笑吧 : )
18、空间带来自信——尽可能多地占据空间 ! 在一个房间里,你占据的空间越大,你就越有自信,坐着的时候双腿尽量张开,把手臂放在旁边的椅子上,张开双臂大步站立。
19、根据气味选择伴侣——选择伴侣的一个重要因素是气味,我们天然的体味来自我们的免疫系统,如果我们的气味太像我们的伴侣,他们就不会喜欢这种气味,这是自然选择的结果,因为免疫系统相似的人无法生出免疫系统强大的孩子。
20、颜色与情感—— 颜色与特定的情感相联系,合适的颜色会产生更多的情感,想让别人爱上你?穿红色的衣服吧,想让人感觉更自信?穿黑色,想感觉更平和?穿蓝色。
17) Embodiment Theory - This theory states that we feel emotions as a reaction to our body. Meaning that we feel happy because we smile, we feel sad because we cry and we feel angry because we punch something. Want to feel happier? Just crack a smile :)
18) Wider stance causes confidence - Take up as much space as you can! The more space you take up in a room the more confident you will feel. Sit with your legs as open as you can, put an arm on the chair next to you, and stand widely with your arms open.
19) Choosing a partner based on smell - A big factor in choosing a partner is smell. Our natural body odor comes from our immune system. If we smell too much like our partner they will not like the smell. This is due to natural sextion as people with similar immune systems were not able to have children with strong immune systems.
20) Color and Emotion - Every color is attached to a specific emotion. Wearing such colors creates more of those emotions. Want someone to fall in love with you? Wear red. Want to feel more confident? Wear black. Want to feel more at peace? Wear blue.
16、沉默以待——除非你练习过冥想,否则你会想要打破沉默,沉默会造成一种尴尬的停顿,让我们觉得自己与对方的距离越来越远,而如果你保持沉默,对方就会试图打破这种沉默。
17、身体性理论(Embodiment Theory)——这个理论指出,我们感觉到情绪是对身体的反应,意思是说,我们感到快乐是因为我们微笑,我们感到悲伤是因为我们哭泣,我们感到愤怒是因为我们打了东西,想让自己感觉更快乐吗?就开怀大笑吧 : )
18、空间带来自信——尽可能多地占据空间 ! 在一个房间里,你占据的空间越大,你就越有自信,坐着的时候双腿尽量张开,把手臂放在旁边的椅子上,张开双臂大步站立。
19、根据气味选择伴侣——选择伴侣的一个重要因素是气味,我们天然的体味来自我们的免疫系统,如果我们的气味太像我们的伴侣,他们就不会喜欢这种气味,这是自然选择的结果,因为免疫系统相似的人无法生出免疫系统强大的孩子。
20、颜色与情感—— 颜色与特定的情感相联系,合适的颜色会产生更多的情感,想让别人爱上你?穿红色的衣服吧,想让人感觉更自信?穿黑色,想感觉更平和?穿蓝色。
21) Height creates respect - Height is a sign of power. The taller you stand the more people will respect you and listen to what you have to say. Wear high heels or shoes with thick soles and stand up straight to get some extra respect.
22) People remember the first and last 10% - Also known as the primacy and recency effect. People will remember the first 10% and the last 10% of any event, presentation or conversation. This is why first impressions are so crucial and why the last image you give someone will stick.
23) Change your surroundings - Our mind is affected by EVERYTHING in our surroundings. If you only have positive images and people in your life your mind will be affected by all of them.
24) Misinterpretation of Arousal - We cannot differentiate between being aroused by fear, excitement, or anger. Being in danger, or being afraid, creates a bigger attachment to another person due to this misinterpretation. Now you know why watching a Horror movie on a first date was always such a great idea!
25) The first Decision is the hardest - Having trouble with your partner deciding on a restaurant? Make them decide on something simpler first and then ask them again. The first decision is always the hardest, but once we made one decision, we will easily make another one. Stores use this all the time when presenting small products at the counter to encourage you to agree to another small thing.
21、高度创造尊重——高度是权力的象征,你站得越高,人们就会越尊重你,越会听你说的话,穿高跟鞋或厚底鞋,站得笔直,可以获得一些额外的尊重。
22、前10%和后10%—— 也就是所谓的首因效应和近因效应,人们会记住事件、演讲或对话的前10%和后10%,这就是为什么第一印象如此重要,为什么你给别人的最后一个印象也同样会让人记忆深刻。
23、 改变周围环境—— 我们的心智会受到周围环境中事物的影响,如果你的生活中只有积极的形象和人物,你的思想就会受到所有这些人的影响。
24)对觉醒的误解—— 我们无法区分由恐惧、兴奋或愤怒引起的觉醒,由于这种误解,处于危险之中或者害怕会让你对另一个人产生更大的依恋,现在你知道为什么第一次约会时看恐怖片总是一个好主意了吧 !
25)第一个决定最难——和你的伴侣决定去哪家餐厅时遇到了麻烦?让他/她先决定一些更简单的东西,然后再问他/她。
第一个决定总是最难的,但是一旦我们做出了一个决定,我们就会很容易做出另一个决定,商店为何在柜台上展示小商品,因为他们经常使用这个方法,鼓励你决定另一件“小事”。
22) People remember the first and last 10% - Also known as the primacy and recency effect. People will remember the first 10% and the last 10% of any event, presentation or conversation. This is why first impressions are so crucial and why the last image you give someone will stick.
23) Change your surroundings - Our mind is affected by EVERYTHING in our surroundings. If you only have positive images and people in your life your mind will be affected by all of them.
24) Misinterpretation of Arousal - We cannot differentiate between being aroused by fear, excitement, or anger. Being in danger, or being afraid, creates a bigger attachment to another person due to this misinterpretation. Now you know why watching a Horror movie on a first date was always such a great idea!
25) The first Decision is the hardest - Having trouble with your partner deciding on a restaurant? Make them decide on something simpler first and then ask them again. The first decision is always the hardest, but once we made one decision, we will easily make another one. Stores use this all the time when presenting small products at the counter to encourage you to agree to another small thing.
21、高度创造尊重——高度是权力的象征,你站得越高,人们就会越尊重你,越会听你说的话,穿高跟鞋或厚底鞋,站得笔直,可以获得一些额外的尊重。
22、前10%和后10%—— 也就是所谓的首因效应和近因效应,人们会记住事件、演讲或对话的前10%和后10%,这就是为什么第一印象如此重要,为什么你给别人的最后一个印象也同样会让人记忆深刻。
23、 改变周围环境—— 我们的心智会受到周围环境中事物的影响,如果你的生活中只有积极的形象和人物,你的思想就会受到所有这些人的影响。
24)对觉醒的误解—— 我们无法区分由恐惧、兴奋或愤怒引起的觉醒,由于这种误解,处于危险之中或者害怕会让你对另一个人产生更大的依恋,现在你知道为什么第一次约会时看恐怖片总是一个好主意了吧 !
25)第一个决定最难——和你的伴侣决定去哪家餐厅时遇到了麻烦?让他/她先决定一些更简单的东西,然后再问他/她。
第一个决定总是最难的,但是一旦我们做出了一个决定,我们就会很容易做出另一个决定,商店为何在柜台上展示小商品,因为他们经常使用这个方法,鼓励你决定另一件“小事”。
Kal Imlay
As a psychology student at university, im always interested to see how people casually throw around “psychology” tricks because the field of psychology deals with many different types of complex phenomena.
If youre talking about social psychological concepts, which would effectively increase youre awareness and aptitude in dealing with social interactions, then here are a few “tricks”:
—Persuasion through flattery: there are two generally accepted methods of persuading people, central and peripheral routes. Central routes use logic to convince somebody why they should do or agree with something. This is like asking your parents for taxi money so that you can get home safe from a night out. The easier method, peripheral, involves persuading somebody that you are a likeable person in an effort to get them to do something because they think its for a good cause. This includes complimenting, referencing a past favor, etc. and is like asking your parents for taxi money because you have been disciplined and obedient all week.
作为一名大学心理学专业的学生,我一直对人们如何随意玩弄“心理学”的把戏很感兴趣,因为心理学领域涉及许多不同类型的复杂现象。
如果你讲的是社会心理学概念,这些概念可以有效地提高你应对社会交往的意识和能力,那么这里有一些“窍门”:
# 通过奉承来说服:
通常有两种广为接受的说服人的方法,中心途径和周边途径。
中心途径使用逻辑来说服某人为什么他们应该做或同意某事,比如向你的父母要出租车费,这样你就可以晚上安全回家了。
更简单的方法,是周边途径,比如说服别人你是一个可爱的人,努力让他们做一些事情,因为他们认为这是有好处的,这包括赞美,引用过去的恩惠,等等,比如,向你的父母要出租车钱,理由是你整一个礼拜都会都遵守规矩和服从命令。
As a psychology student at university, im always interested to see how people casually throw around “psychology” tricks because the field of psychology deals with many different types of complex phenomena.
If youre talking about social psychological concepts, which would effectively increase youre awareness and aptitude in dealing with social interactions, then here are a few “tricks”:
—Persuasion through flattery: there are two generally accepted methods of persuading people, central and peripheral routes. Central routes use logic to convince somebody why they should do or agree with something. This is like asking your parents for taxi money so that you can get home safe from a night out. The easier method, peripheral, involves persuading somebody that you are a likeable person in an effort to get them to do something because they think its for a good cause. This includes complimenting, referencing a past favor, etc. and is like asking your parents for taxi money because you have been disciplined and obedient all week.
作为一名大学心理学专业的学生,我一直对人们如何随意玩弄“心理学”的把戏很感兴趣,因为心理学领域涉及许多不同类型的复杂现象。
如果你讲的是社会心理学概念,这些概念可以有效地提高你应对社会交往的意识和能力,那么这里有一些“窍门”:
# 通过奉承来说服:
通常有两种广为接受的说服人的方法,中心途径和周边途径。
中心途径使用逻辑来说服某人为什么他们应该做或同意某事,比如向你的父母要出租车费,这样你就可以晚上安全回家了。
更简单的方法,是周边途径,比如说服别人你是一个可爱的人,努力让他们做一些事情,因为他们认为这是有好处的,这包括赞美,引用过去的恩惠,等等,比如,向你的父母要出租车钱,理由是你整一个礼拜都会都遵守规矩和服从命令。
—Arousal Transference/Source Monitoring Failure: this is a little tricky because it can be manipulative if done wrong. Basically, people are bad at identifying the source of their emotional arousal, even when that source is obvious. If you watch a scary movie with someone, and go to dinner in a secluded restaurant with few or no people, one of you might still feel aroused but fail to recognize why. Then, you or the other may attribute that arousal to the other person; thus increasing attraction.
—Foot in the Door: you can effectively convince someone to donate a large sum of time or money by starting out asking for a small favor and steadily increasing over time. This works because each consecutive donation feels only slightly bigger than the last.
唤醒移情/源监失败:
这有点棘手,因为如果做错了,它可能会被操纵。
基本上,人们不善于识别他们情绪激发的来源,即使这个来源很明显。
如果你和某人一起看恐怖电影,如果你和某人一起看了一部恐怖电影,然后去一个僻静的餐厅吃饭,人很少或没有人,你们中的一个人可能仍然会感到兴奋,是却不知道为什么,然后,你或其他人可能会把这种兴奋归因于对方,从而增加吸引力。
门槛效应:
你可以有效地说服某人捐出一大笔金钱或者时间,方法是从请求一个小小的帮助开始,然后随着时间的推移逐步增加,这种做法之所以奏效,是因为每一次连续的付出感觉上只比上一次稍微大一点。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
—Foot in the Door: you can effectively convince someone to donate a large sum of time or money by starting out asking for a small favor and steadily increasing over time. This works because each consecutive donation feels only slightly bigger than the last.
唤醒移情/源监失败:
这有点棘手,因为如果做错了,它可能会被操纵。
基本上,人们不善于识别他们情绪激发的来源,即使这个来源很明显。
如果你和某人一起看恐怖电影,如果你和某人一起看了一部恐怖电影,然后去一个僻静的餐厅吃饭,人很少或没有人,你们中的一个人可能仍然会感到兴奋,是却不知道为什么,然后,你或其他人可能会把这种兴奋归因于对方,从而增加吸引力。
门槛效应:
你可以有效地说服某人捐出一大笔金钱或者时间,方法是从请求一个小小的帮助开始,然后随着时间的推移逐步增加,这种做法之所以奏效,是因为每一次连续的付出感觉上只比上一次稍微大一点。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
—Similarity Effect: people are attracted to those similar to themselves. This is how politicians become so popular. But you can use this by making friends with very attractive people who are similar to you but that you wouldnt want to date. then when someone you do want to date sees you, they may assume you are attractive as well because an attractive person gravitates to you.
You can also hijack your own cognitive or neural behavior in ways that can improve general performance on intellectual or physiological tasks:
—Visualization: if you imagine yourself performing well on a task with high detail, regardless of the type of task, you will unconsciously make the steps necessary to reach that level of performance. This happens because we confuse thoughts for memories and memories for thoughts. Visualizing high performance, as long as it is realistic, may make it seem like something you had planned to do for a while, and you will naturally fulfill that plan.
—Word Associations/ Mnemonics: attach a term to a meaningful image or a significant number to improve memory for it
—State-Dependent Learning: most semantic information is easier to recall while in the same psychological state as at the time of learning. Lost your keys while drunk? Drink a bit of alcohol again and you just might remember where they are.
—Context-based Learning: study for a test in the room where the test is conducted. For some reason it is easier to recall information in the same context that it was learned. This is why it is so easy to go to another room and immediately forget what you went there for, then remember as soon as you go back to the first room.
相似性效应:
人们会被与自己相似的人所吸引,这就是政客如此受欢迎的原因。
但是你可以利用这一点,和那些和你很相似但是你不想约会的人交朋友,然后当你真正想约会的人看到你时,他们可能会认为你也很有魅力,因为有魅力的人被你吸引。
你也可以劫持自己的认知或神经行为,以改善思想或生理上的一般表现:
—— 形象化 : 如果你想象自己在一项高度细节的任务上表现良好,不管任务的类型如何,你都会无意识地采取必要的步骤来达到这一表现水平,之所以会发生这种情况,是因为我们把想法当成了记忆,把记忆当成了想法。将高绩效可视化,只要它是现实的,可能会让它看起来像是你计划了一段时间要做的事情,你自然会完成这个计划。
—— 词汇联想/记忆法: 在一个有意义的图像上附加一个词汇或一个有意义的数字,以提高记忆力。
—— 状态依赖性学习: 大多数语义信息在与学习时相同的心理状态下更容易回忆起来,你喝醉了把钥匙弄丢了?再喝一点酒,你可能就会想起来要吃在哪里。
—— 基于情境的学习: 在进行考试的房间里为考试做准备,出于某种原因,在学习的同一情境中,更容易回忆起信息在与学习的内容相同的情况下回忆信息更容易,这就是为什么去另一个房间,马上就会忘记去那里干什么,然后一回到之前的房间就会想起来的原因。
You can also hijack your own cognitive or neural behavior in ways that can improve general performance on intellectual or physiological tasks:
—Visualization: if you imagine yourself performing well on a task with high detail, regardless of the type of task, you will unconsciously make the steps necessary to reach that level of performance. This happens because we confuse thoughts for memories and memories for thoughts. Visualizing high performance, as long as it is realistic, may make it seem like something you had planned to do for a while, and you will naturally fulfill that plan.
—Word Associations/ Mnemonics: attach a term to a meaningful image or a significant number to improve memory for it
—State-Dependent Learning: most semantic information is easier to recall while in the same psychological state as at the time of learning. Lost your keys while drunk? Drink a bit of alcohol again and you just might remember where they are.
—Context-based Learning: study for a test in the room where the test is conducted. For some reason it is easier to recall information in the same context that it was learned. This is why it is so easy to go to another room and immediately forget what you went there for, then remember as soon as you go back to the first room.
相似性效应:
人们会被与自己相似的人所吸引,这就是政客如此受欢迎的原因。
但是你可以利用这一点,和那些和你很相似但是你不想约会的人交朋友,然后当你真正想约会的人看到你时,他们可能会认为你也很有魅力,因为有魅力的人被你吸引。
你也可以劫持自己的认知或神经行为,以改善思想或生理上的一般表现:
—— 形象化 : 如果你想象自己在一项高度细节的任务上表现良好,不管任务的类型如何,你都会无意识地采取必要的步骤来达到这一表现水平,之所以会发生这种情况,是因为我们把想法当成了记忆,把记忆当成了想法。将高绩效可视化,只要它是现实的,可能会让它看起来像是你计划了一段时间要做的事情,你自然会完成这个计划。
—— 词汇联想/记忆法: 在一个有意义的图像上附加一个词汇或一个有意义的数字,以提高记忆力。
—— 状态依赖性学习: 大多数语义信息在与学习时相同的心理状态下更容易回忆起来,你喝醉了把钥匙弄丢了?再喝一点酒,你可能就会想起来要吃在哪里。
—— 基于情境的学习: 在进行考试的房间里为考试做准备,出于某种原因,在学习的同一情境中,更容易回忆起信息在与学习的内容相同的情况下回忆信息更容易,这就是为什么去另一个房间,马上就会忘记去那里干什么,然后一回到之前的房间就会想起来的原因。
Rohan Sinha
Humility is any day better than arrogance.
Sometimes bad memory is a boon as you don't remember the things that should've been forgotten.
Don't point fingers towards others while talking, it's rude.
No demands No Complaints is a better way to deal with neglect of others.
Expectation is the reason of your sorrows. Don't expect others to reciprocate to your love, care, affection and friendship. It's never easy.
You can support any cause and create a positive impact when you don't mind who gets the credit.
Do what you love, love what you do. Be Interesting, Be a better version of you, not someone else.
When someone hurl insult. Don't get in mud-slinging. Understand their situation, don't get into dog-fight.
Don't allow them to get successful in their agenda to rob you of your peace of mind.
Success and Failure are both temporary.
1. 谦虚,总比傲慢要好得多。
2. 有时候记性不好也是一种恩惠,因为你会不记得那些本该忘记的事情。
3. 说话时不要用手指着别人,这很不礼貌。
4. 不要求,不抱怨是处理他人忽视的较好方法。
5. 期望是悲伤之源,不要期望别人对你的爱、关心、亲情和友情给予回报,这绝非易事。
6. 当你不介意谁获得功劳时,万事可干,并且有积极的影响。
7. 做你喜欢的事,爱你所做的事。做有趣的人,做更好的自己,而不是别人。
8. 当有人谩骂时,不要陷入泥沙俱下的境地,理解他们的处境,不要陷入狗咬狗的困境。
9. 不要让别人的成功,抢走你内心的安宁。
10. 成功和失败都是暂时的。
Humility is any day better than arrogance.
Sometimes bad memory is a boon as you don't remember the things that should've been forgotten.
Don't point fingers towards others while talking, it's rude.
No demands No Complaints is a better way to deal with neglect of others.
Expectation is the reason of your sorrows. Don't expect others to reciprocate to your love, care, affection and friendship. It's never easy.
You can support any cause and create a positive impact when you don't mind who gets the credit.
Do what you love, love what you do. Be Interesting, Be a better version of you, not someone else.
When someone hurl insult. Don't get in mud-slinging. Understand their situation, don't get into dog-fight.
Don't allow them to get successful in their agenda to rob you of your peace of mind.
Success and Failure are both temporary.
1. 谦虚,总比傲慢要好得多。
2. 有时候记性不好也是一种恩惠,因为你会不记得那些本该忘记的事情。
3. 说话时不要用手指着别人,这很不礼貌。
4. 不要求,不抱怨是处理他人忽视的较好方法。
5. 期望是悲伤之源,不要期望别人对你的爱、关心、亲情和友情给予回报,这绝非易事。
6. 当你不介意谁获得功劳时,万事可干,并且有积极的影响。
7. 做你喜欢的事,爱你所做的事。做有趣的人,做更好的自己,而不是别人。
8. 当有人谩骂时,不要陷入泥沙俱下的境地,理解他们的处境,不要陷入狗咬狗的困境。
9. 不要让别人的成功,抢走你内心的安宁。
10. 成功和失败都是暂时的。
It's all about the lessons we learn through each incident in life.
Some People would play with your mind. They can make you happy by showering you with praises and would upset you by their hurtful remarks. Beware of them! Introspect and stay calm.
Greet others with a smile, everyone has their share of troubles. Why bother them with our problems?
Don't be a parasite ever in life. You are a parasite when you are dependent on someone heavily.
Don't get overly attached to something or someone. You are bound to be devastated and emotionally shattered.
Overthinking is a common problem which is really dangerous for your wellbeing. Get over it!
Don't try to impress someone, you will get tired.
Never be the Lion in the circus that gets claps but he doesn't enjoy the show. Be yourself and enjoy what you do.
Love is all around us. We just need to adjust our antenna.
What you sow that you reap. Karma Rocks!
11. 从生活中的每一件事中吸取教训。
12. 有些人会玩弄你的心灵,他们可以用赞美来哄你开心,也会用伤害性的话语来让你难过,要小心他们! 自省和保持冷静。
13. 微笑着迎接别人,每个人都有自己的烦恼,为什么要用自己的问题去打扰他们?
14. 不要做生活中的寄生虫,当你严重依赖一个人的时候,你就是一个寄生虫。
15. 不要对某事或某人过分依赖,你一定会受到毁灭性的打击,感情上也会受到打击。
16. 过度思考是一个常见的问题,这对你的健康真的很危险,克服它吧 !
17. 不要试图打动别人,你会累的。
18. 千万不要做马戏团里的狮子,虽然得到了掌声,但人家未必喜欢这个节目,做好自己,享受你所做的一切。
19. 爱就在我们身边,我们只需要调整我们的天线。
20. 你播种什么,你就收获什么,缘起缘灭 !
Some People would play with your mind. They can make you happy by showering you with praises and would upset you by their hurtful remarks. Beware of them! Introspect and stay calm.
Greet others with a smile, everyone has their share of troubles. Why bother them with our problems?
Don't be a parasite ever in life. You are a parasite when you are dependent on someone heavily.
Don't get overly attached to something or someone. You are bound to be devastated and emotionally shattered.
Overthinking is a common problem which is really dangerous for your wellbeing. Get over it!
Don't try to impress someone, you will get tired.
Never be the Lion in the circus that gets claps but he doesn't enjoy the show. Be yourself and enjoy what you do.
Love is all around us. We just need to adjust our antenna.
What you sow that you reap. Karma Rocks!
11. 从生活中的每一件事中吸取教训。
12. 有些人会玩弄你的心灵,他们可以用赞美来哄你开心,也会用伤害性的话语来让你难过,要小心他们! 自省和保持冷静。
13. 微笑着迎接别人,每个人都有自己的烦恼,为什么要用自己的问题去打扰他们?
14. 不要做生活中的寄生虫,当你严重依赖一个人的时候,你就是一个寄生虫。
15. 不要对某事或某人过分依赖,你一定会受到毁灭性的打击,感情上也会受到打击。
16. 过度思考是一个常见的问题,这对你的健康真的很危险,克服它吧 !
17. 不要试图打动别人,你会累的。
18. 千万不要做马戏团里的狮子,虽然得到了掌声,但人家未必喜欢这个节目,做好自己,享受你所做的一切。
19. 爱就在我们身边,我们只需要调整我们的天线。
20. 你播种什么,你就收获什么,缘起缘灭 !
Don't fake so much that even you fail to recognize yourself.
Stay Curious and develop interest in various things.
Nobody is good for nothing. I trust almighty must not waste her time creating clutter.
Get away from stereotypical jokes on a particular gender or community. Sooner or later, you are prone to be judgemental based on your prejudice.
Stand up while talking to someone on phone. It helps in communicating in a confident voice.
Marry a person who can complete you and you can complete them.
Don't curse all that is traditional just to sound cool. Many things have wonderful reasoning behind them.
Appreciate others when you like something about them.
Don't give a fake compliment to earn their favour in future . Because, it's cheating.
Give a fake compliment where the smile on the face of the person is your prime focus and you do it out of affection; not some malicious intentions.
Being straightforward is great. But, being rude, hurtful and straightforward is a disastrous combo.
21. 不要伪装得连自己都认不出来。
22. 保持好奇心,培养对各种事物的兴趣。
23. 没有人是一无是处的,我相信万能的上帝不会浪费时间创造杂物。
24. 远离对特定性别或群体的刻板笑话,迟早你会基于你的偏见而容易做出错误判断。
25. 与人通电话时要站起来,这有助于以自信的声音进行交流。
26. 嫁给一个能让你完整的人,你也能让他/她完整。
27. 不要为了听起来酷而诅咒所有的传统,很多事情背后都是有道理的。
28. 当你喜欢别人某一点时,要赞赏他们。
29. 不要为了将来赢得他们的好感而假意夸奖,因为,这是欺骗。
30. 给出一个假意的赞美,因为对方脸上的微笑是你关注的焦点,你这样做是出于爱,而不是恶意。
31. 直率是很好的,但是,粗鲁、伤人、直白是灾难性的组合。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Stay Curious and develop interest in various things.
Nobody is good for nothing. I trust almighty must not waste her time creating clutter.
Get away from stereotypical jokes on a particular gender or community. Sooner or later, you are prone to be judgemental based on your prejudice.
Stand up while talking to someone on phone. It helps in communicating in a confident voice.
Marry a person who can complete you and you can complete them.
Don't curse all that is traditional just to sound cool. Many things have wonderful reasoning behind them.
Appreciate others when you like something about them.
Don't give a fake compliment to earn their favour in future . Because, it's cheating.
Give a fake compliment where the smile on the face of the person is your prime focus and you do it out of affection; not some malicious intentions.
Being straightforward is great. But, being rude, hurtful and straightforward is a disastrous combo.
21. 不要伪装得连自己都认不出来。
22. 保持好奇心,培养对各种事物的兴趣。
23. 没有人是一无是处的,我相信万能的上帝不会浪费时间创造杂物。
24. 远离对特定性别或群体的刻板笑话,迟早你会基于你的偏见而容易做出错误判断。
25. 与人通电话时要站起来,这有助于以自信的声音进行交流。
26. 嫁给一个能让你完整的人,你也能让他/她完整。
27. 不要为了听起来酷而诅咒所有的传统,很多事情背后都是有道理的。
28. 当你喜欢别人某一点时,要赞赏他们。
29. 不要为了将来赢得他们的好感而假意夸奖,因为,这是欺骗。
30. 给出一个假意的赞美,因为对方脸上的微笑是你关注的焦点,你这样做是出于爱,而不是恶意。
31. 直率是很好的,但是,粗鲁、伤人、直白是灾难性的组合。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Janis Ozolins
Wanna know if a person likes you?
Try to pick a word or synonymous word phrases and every time she or he uses it, try to smile and nod. If that person really like you then he or she will start using the word all the time.
Take your words meaning into next level when you’re talking with people!
Every time you tell them something, say that your father taught you this. People tend to believe parents’ advice inherently.
‘Rock, paper, scissors’ champion!
If you wanna win this game, right before playing it, ask your opponent a random question. Usually he or she will throw ‘scissors’, because your friend will be confused.
Do you want people to agree with you?
Try to nod while you’re talking. Why? ‘The nod’ sign means ‘everything I’m saying is true.’ Also following social behavior patterns, people tend to nod back. So give a shot!
How to avoid crowded subway in the morning?
In crowded places we tend to look other people in the eyes so that we know which direction someone is going. We take the opposite way so not to run into each other. So next time you will be in crowded places look right in front of you, in the direction in which you’re going. You will be impressed watching the crowd literally give way to you.
How to forgot song, that is stuck in your mind?
Remember the end of that song? Think about it. According to the Zeigarnik effect, our brain tends to remember the things that we’ve left unfinished.
· 想知道一个人是否喜欢你?
试着挑选一个单词或同义词短语,每次她或他使用它时,试着微笑并点头—— 如果这个人真的喜欢你,那么他或她会开始一直使用这个词。
· 当你与人交谈时,要把你所讲的话的意义提升到一个新的层次 !
每次你告诉他们一些事情,就说是你父亲教给你的,人们倾向于天生相信父母的建议。
· 剪刀石头布王者!
如果你想赢得这个游戏,就在玩之前,随机问对手一个问题,随机问你的对手一个问题,通常他或她会出“剪刀”,因为你的朋友会感到困惑。
· 你希望别人同意你的观点吗?
说话的时候尽量点头,为什么?因为“点头”的意思是“我说的都是真的”,同样,按照社会行为模式,人们往往倾向于点头回应,你不妨试一试 !
· 早上如何避开拥挤的地铁?
在拥挤的地方,我们倾向于看着别人的眼睛,这样我们就能知道别人在往哪个方向走,而我们走相反的路,这样就不会碰到对方,所以下次你到了拥挤的地方,看着你的正前方,看着你要去的方向,人群会逐渐为你让路,结果一定会令你印象深刻。
· 忘记了歌词,卡在了脑海中 ?
还记得那首歌的结尾吗?想想吧,根据蔡加尼克效应,我们的大脑倾向于记住未完成的事情。
Wanna know if a person likes you?
Try to pick a word or synonymous word phrases and every time she or he uses it, try to smile and nod. If that person really like you then he or she will start using the word all the time.
Take your words meaning into next level when you’re talking with people!
Every time you tell them something, say that your father taught you this. People tend to believe parents’ advice inherently.
‘Rock, paper, scissors’ champion!
If you wanna win this game, right before playing it, ask your opponent a random question. Usually he or she will throw ‘scissors’, because your friend will be confused.
Do you want people to agree with you?
Try to nod while you’re talking. Why? ‘The nod’ sign means ‘everything I’m saying is true.’ Also following social behavior patterns, people tend to nod back. So give a shot!
How to avoid crowded subway in the morning?
In crowded places we tend to look other people in the eyes so that we know which direction someone is going. We take the opposite way so not to run into each other. So next time you will be in crowded places look right in front of you, in the direction in which you’re going. You will be impressed watching the crowd literally give way to you.
How to forgot song, that is stuck in your mind?
Remember the end of that song? Think about it. According to the Zeigarnik effect, our brain tends to remember the things that we’ve left unfinished.
· 想知道一个人是否喜欢你?
试着挑选一个单词或同义词短语,每次她或他使用它时,试着微笑并点头—— 如果这个人真的喜欢你,那么他或她会开始一直使用这个词。
· 当你与人交谈时,要把你所讲的话的意义提升到一个新的层次 !
每次你告诉他们一些事情,就说是你父亲教给你的,人们倾向于天生相信父母的建议。
· 剪刀石头布王者!
如果你想赢得这个游戏,就在玩之前,随机问对手一个问题,随机问你的对手一个问题,通常他或她会出“剪刀”,因为你的朋友会感到困惑。
· 你希望别人同意你的观点吗?
说话的时候尽量点头,为什么?因为“点头”的意思是“我说的都是真的”,同样,按照社会行为模式,人们往往倾向于点头回应,你不妨试一试 !
· 早上如何避开拥挤的地铁?
在拥挤的地方,我们倾向于看着别人的眼睛,这样我们就能知道别人在往哪个方向走,而我们走相反的路,这样就不会碰到对方,所以下次你到了拥挤的地方,看着你的正前方,看着你要去的方向,人群会逐渐为你让路,结果一定会令你印象深刻。
· 忘记了歌词,卡在了脑海中 ?
还记得那首歌的结尾吗?想想吧,根据蔡加尼克效应,我们的大脑倾向于记住未完成的事情。
Do you want your kids to eat vegetables? Like spinach?
Try to ask them if they want two or five spinach instead of asking them if they want spinach. Thus, you’ve made your mind and chose spinach for their lunch, but they feel like they have really made their own decision. You can use the same old trick in different situations.
Someone stalking you?
Try to yawn and look around. If someone is really stalking you, he will yawn too, since yawing is highly contagious.
Do you want your friend to help you carry something?
Continue talking while handing over the “carry thing”. The majority of people won’t even notice you’re handing them something and will take it. However, some people more attentive and less close to you may get pretty confused.
Next time you are going to shake hands with someone…
make sure your hands are warm enough. Why? Because warm hands promote a friendly atmosphere while cold handshaking will trigger the opposite effect.
Paraphrase your friend’s words back to them.
Person will get the feeling you are a really great listener. Just don’t go too far with the paraphrasing thing.
Do you want someone’s help?
Try to start your phrase with the words - I need your help. As we know People don’t like to feel guilty, they hate it. That’s why they they won’t be able to refuse to help.
When person doesn’t like you…
Kindly ask if you can borrow his pencil or pen. Why? Because on one hand, people tend not to help those whom they don’t like, but on the other hand, it’s such a small favor that your ‘hater’ most likely won’t be able to say ‘No’. Eventually that person will come to the conclusion that you’re not that bad.
· 想让孩子吃蔬菜? 比如菠?
试着问他们是想吃两根还是五根菠菜,而不是问他们想不想吃菠菜,这样,你已经下定决心,选择了菠菜作为他们的午餐,但他们会觉得是自己做出了决定,你可以在不同的情况下使用同样的老招数。
· 有人跟踪你?
试着打哈欠,看看周围,如果有人真的在跟踪你,他也会打哈欠,因为打哈欠极易传染。
· 你想让你的朋友帮你拿东西?
一边继续说话,一边把“随身物品”交给别人,大多数人根本不会注意到你在递东西,会很自然的接过来,但是,有些比较细心、和你不太亲近的人可能会很困惑。
· 下次你要和别人握手的时候......
确保你的手够暖和,为什么?因为温暖的双手可以营造友好的气氛,而冷冰冰的握手则会产生相反的效果。
· 把你朋友的话复述给他们听
人们会觉得你是一个很好的倾听者,只是不要把转述的事扯的太过火。
· 想要别人的帮助?
尽量用 "我需要你的帮助 "这句话来开头,众所周知,人们不喜欢内疚,他们讨厌内疚,这就是为什么他们无法拒绝帮助。
· 当一个人不喜欢你的时候.....
问问他,能否借用他的铅笔或钢笔,为什么要这么问呢 ?因为一方面,人们倾向于不去帮助那些他们不喜欢的人,但另一方面,这只是一个小小的帮助,不喜欢你的人很可能不会说 "不",最终那个人会得出一个结论:你没有那么糟糕。
Try to ask them if they want two or five spinach instead of asking them if they want spinach. Thus, you’ve made your mind and chose spinach for their lunch, but they feel like they have really made their own decision. You can use the same old trick in different situations.
Someone stalking you?
Try to yawn and look around. If someone is really stalking you, he will yawn too, since yawing is highly contagious.
Do you want your friend to help you carry something?
Continue talking while handing over the “carry thing”. The majority of people won’t even notice you’re handing them something and will take it. However, some people more attentive and less close to you may get pretty confused.
Next time you are going to shake hands with someone…
make sure your hands are warm enough. Why? Because warm hands promote a friendly atmosphere while cold handshaking will trigger the opposite effect.
Paraphrase your friend’s words back to them.
Person will get the feeling you are a really great listener. Just don’t go too far with the paraphrasing thing.
Do you want someone’s help?
Try to start your phrase with the words - I need your help. As we know People don’t like to feel guilty, they hate it. That’s why they they won’t be able to refuse to help.
When person doesn’t like you…
Kindly ask if you can borrow his pencil or pen. Why? Because on one hand, people tend not to help those whom they don’t like, but on the other hand, it’s such a small favor that your ‘hater’ most likely won’t be able to say ‘No’. Eventually that person will come to the conclusion that you’re not that bad.
· 想让孩子吃蔬菜? 比如菠?
试着问他们是想吃两根还是五根菠菜,而不是问他们想不想吃菠菜,这样,你已经下定决心,选择了菠菜作为他们的午餐,但他们会觉得是自己做出了决定,你可以在不同的情况下使用同样的老招数。
· 有人跟踪你?
试着打哈欠,看看周围,如果有人真的在跟踪你,他也会打哈欠,因为打哈欠极易传染。
· 你想让你的朋友帮你拿东西?
一边继续说话,一边把“随身物品”交给别人,大多数人根本不会注意到你在递东西,会很自然的接过来,但是,有些比较细心、和你不太亲近的人可能会很困惑。
· 下次你要和别人握手的时候......
确保你的手够暖和,为什么?因为温暖的双手可以营造友好的气氛,而冷冰冰的握手则会产生相反的效果。
· 把你朋友的话复述给他们听
人们会觉得你是一个很好的倾听者,只是不要把转述的事扯的太过火。
· 想要别人的帮助?
尽量用 "我需要你的帮助 "这句话来开头,众所周知,人们不喜欢内疚,他们讨厌内疚,这就是为什么他们无法拒绝帮助。
· 当一个人不喜欢你的时候.....
问问他,能否借用他的铅笔或钢笔,为什么要这么问呢 ?因为一方面,人们倾向于不去帮助那些他们不喜欢的人,但另一方面,这只是一个小小的帮助,不喜欢你的人很可能不会说 "不",最终那个人会得出一个结论:你没有那么糟糕。
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