你长久婚姻的秘密是什么(一)
正文翻译
What's your secret to your long-lasting marriage?
你长久婚姻的秘密是什么？
What's your secret to your long-lasting marriage?
你长久婚姻的秘密是什么？
评论翻译
Aisha Ali, artist ,writer ,poetess
Marriage is a lifetime commitment. People are supposed to marry to procreate, start a family, and cherish their love with their own spouse, children, and grandchildren for the rest of their lives. In other words, marriage is supposed to be built to last.
If there is one good secret to having a lasting marriage, it would be to make oneself ready to enter into this kind of relationship. You should not just marry a person because you have fallen in love and you feel like you already want to spend the rest of your life with her or him.
What if you get married? What happens now? How would you really spend the rest of your life with your chosen wife or husband? It’s natural to fall in love. It’s easy to make a wedding vow. But in order to fulfill your promise, you need to know how you will exactly do that.
To guide you, here are some tips to make your marriage healthy and long-lasting:
婚姻是一生的承诺。人们应该结婚生子，建立家庭，并珍惜与配偶、子女和孙子孙女的爱，直到余生。换句话说，婚姻应该是建立在持久的基础上的。
如果有一个好的秘密，有一个持久的婚姻，这将是使自己准备进入这种关系。你不应该仅仅因为爱上一个人而结婚，而应该是你觉得你已经想和她或他共度余生了。
如果你结婚了呢？现在发生了什么？你将如何与你选择的妻子或丈夫共度余生？坠入爱河是很自然的。许愿很容易。但为了实现你的承诺，你需要知道你将如何做到这一点。
以下是一些能让你的婚姻健康长久的小窍门：
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Marriage is a lifetime commitment. People are supposed to marry to procreate, start a family, and cherish their love with their own spouse, children, and grandchildren for the rest of their lives. In other words, marriage is supposed to be built to last.
If there is one good secret to having a lasting marriage, it would be to make oneself ready to enter into this kind of relationship. You should not just marry a person because you have fallen in love and you feel like you already want to spend the rest of your life with her or him.
What if you get married? What happens now? How would you really spend the rest of your life with your chosen wife or husband? It’s natural to fall in love. It’s easy to make a wedding vow. But in order to fulfill your promise, you need to know how you will exactly do that.
To guide you, here are some tips to make your marriage healthy and long-lasting:
婚姻是一生的承诺。人们应该结婚生子，建立家庭，并珍惜与配偶、子女和孙子孙女的爱，直到余生。换句话说，婚姻应该是建立在持久的基础上的。
如果有一个好的秘密，有一个持久的婚姻，这将是使自己准备进入这种关系。你不应该仅仅因为爱上一个人而结婚，而应该是你觉得你已经想和她或他共度余生了。
如果你结婚了呢？现在发生了什么？你将如何与你选择的妻子或丈夫共度余生？坠入爱河是很自然的。许愿很容易。但为了实现你的承诺，你需要知道你将如何做到这一点。
以下是一些能让你的婚姻健康长久的小窍门：
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
1. Be independent from your parents and parents-in-law.
Live in a house which is separate from both of your parents. This will give your marriage the freedom it needs to mature and grow in its own way,
2. Bless your home and your marriage.
Blessings are what you earned by doing the right things and avoiding sins. Therefore, bless your home and your family, not only by praying but also by practicing righteousness and avoiding wickedness.
3. Do not envy other couples or people.
Be grateful for the blessings and graces you receive every day. Always thank your wife or husband for the little or great efforts they make to take care and love you. If you see happy couples or families, be inspired and happy to see them instead of being envious or bitter.
独立于父母和公婆。
住在与父母分开的房子里。这会给你的婚姻带来成熟和成长所需的自由，
祝福你的家和你的婚姻。
祝福是你通过做正确的事情和避免造恶而获得的。因此，祝福你的家和你的家人，不仅要祈祷，而且要做好事，避免做恶。
不要嫉妒其他夫妇或人。
感谢你每天所得到的祝福和恩典。永远感谢你的妻子或丈夫，感谢他们为照顾和爱你所付出的微薄或巨大的努力。如果你看到了其他幸福的夫妻或家庭，那么你应该为他们感到鼓舞和高兴，而不是嫉妒或怨恨。
Live in a house which is separate from both of your parents. This will give your marriage the freedom it needs to mature and grow in its own way,
2. Bless your home and your marriage.
Blessings are what you earned by doing the right things and avoiding sins. Therefore, bless your home and your family, not only by praying but also by practicing righteousness and avoiding wickedness.
3. Do not envy other couples or people.
Be grateful for the blessings and graces you receive every day. Always thank your wife or husband for the little or great efforts they make to take care and love you. If you see happy couples or families, be inspired and happy to see them instead of being envious or bitter.
独立于父母和公婆。
住在与父母分开的房子里。这会给你的婚姻带来成熟和成长所需的自由，
祝福你的家和你的婚姻。
祝福是你通过做正确的事情和避免造恶而获得的。因此，祝福你的家和你的家人，不仅要祈祷，而且要做好事，避免做恶。
不要嫉妒其他夫妇或人。
感谢你每天所得到的祝福和恩典。永远感谢你的妻子或丈夫，感谢他们为照顾和爱你所付出的微薄或巨大的努力。如果你看到了其他幸福的夫妻或家庭，那么你应该为他们感到鼓舞和高兴，而不是嫉妒或怨恨。
4. Know your marital duties and obligations.
Do not be ignorant of your marital responsibilities. Know that as husband and wife, the both of you are obliged to live together, support each other, be honest with each other, be faithful to each other, do procreation, and take care of your children.
5. Fulfill your marital obligations to each other.
Knowing your marital duties is not enough. Hence, don’t just be reminded but do your best to perform those obligations mentioned above.
6. Surrender your body to your wife or husband.
Let your spouse have the authority over your body, and vice versa. This means if your husband tells you not to wear revealing clothes, follow your husband. And for the husband, if your wife tells you not to touch or be touched by other women, then follow your wife.
了解你的婚姻责任和义务。
不要忽视你的婚姻责任。要知道，作为夫妻，你们生活在一起都是有义务的，互相支持，诚实相待，互相忠诚，生育，照顾孩子。
履行你们对彼此的婚姻义务。
仅仅知道你的婚姻义务是不够的。因此，不要只是被提醒，而是尽你所能履行上述义务。
把你的身体交给你的妻子或丈夫。
让你的配偶有权支配你的身体，反之亦然。这意味着如果你的丈夫告诉你不要穿暴露的衣服，要听你的丈夫的话。至于丈夫，如果你的妻子告诉你不要碰或被别的女人碰，那就听你的妻子的话。
Do not be ignorant of your marital responsibilities. Know that as husband and wife, the both of you are obliged to live together, support each other, be honest with each other, be faithful to each other, do procreation, and take care of your children.
5. Fulfill your marital obligations to each other.
Knowing your marital duties is not enough. Hence, don’t just be reminded but do your best to perform those obligations mentioned above.
6. Surrender your body to your wife or husband.
Let your spouse have the authority over your body, and vice versa. This means if your husband tells you not to wear revealing clothes, follow your husband. And for the husband, if your wife tells you not to touch or be touched by other women, then follow your wife.
了解你的婚姻责任和义务。
不要忽视你的婚姻责任。要知道，作为夫妻，你们生活在一起都是有义务的，互相支持，诚实相待，互相忠诚，生育，照顾孩子。
履行你们对彼此的婚姻义务。
仅仅知道你的婚姻义务是不够的。因此，不要只是被提醒，而是尽你所能履行上述义务。
把你的身体交给你的妻子或丈夫。
让你的配偶有权支配你的身体，反之亦然。这意味着如果你的丈夫告诉你不要穿暴露的衣服，要听你的丈夫的话。至于丈夫，如果你的妻子告诉你不要碰或被别的女人碰，那就听你的妻子的话。
7. Love yourself as you love your spouse.
Learn to love yourself. Have a balanced diet, do regular exercise, get enough sleep, avoid vices that get you sick, and always improve your personal development. Remember that you cannot love and take care of your family if you can’t even love and take care of yourself.
8. Be fearless and get rid of your insecurities.
Love your wife or husband without expecting love in return. Love your spouse without fearing that someday she or he will be gone. Enjoy giving pure love. Remember that the love you give will never be lost.
9. Trust your spouse.
Realize that trusting your partner is an essential key to having a long-lasting marriage. Know your spouse better. Listen to her or him. Stop making false assumptions. Unless there is clear evidence that your spouse is deceiving you, always treat her or him as a person who can be trusted.
像爱你的配偶一样爱你自己。
学会爱自己。均衡的饮食，经常锻炼，充足的睡眠，避免让你生病的恶习，不断提高你自己。记住，如果你连自己都不能爱和照顾好，你就不能爱和照顾你的家人。
无所畏惧，摆脱你的不安全感。
爱你的妻子或丈夫，不要期待爱的回报。爱你的配偶，不要害怕有一天她或他会离开。享受给予纯洁的爱。记住，你给予的爱永远不会被失去的。
相信你的配偶。
认识到信任你的伴侣是拥有长久婚姻的关键。更要了解你的配偶，听她或他说，别再胡思乱想了。除非有明显的证据表明你的配偶欺骗了你，否则一定要把她或他当作一个可以信任的人。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Learn to love yourself. Have a balanced diet, do regular exercise, get enough sleep, avoid vices that get you sick, and always improve your personal development. Remember that you cannot love and take care of your family if you can’t even love and take care of yourself.
8. Be fearless and get rid of your insecurities.
Love your wife or husband without expecting love in return. Love your spouse without fearing that someday she or he will be gone. Enjoy giving pure love. Remember that the love you give will never be lost.
9. Trust your spouse.
Realize that trusting your partner is an essential key to having a long-lasting marriage. Know your spouse better. Listen to her or him. Stop making false assumptions. Unless there is clear evidence that your spouse is deceiving you, always treat her or him as a person who can be trusted.
像爱你的配偶一样爱你自己。
学会爱自己。均衡的饮食，经常锻炼，充足的睡眠，避免让你生病的恶习，不断提高你自己。记住，如果你连自己都不能爱和照顾好，你就不能爱和照顾你的家人。
无所畏惧，摆脱你的不安全感。
爱你的妻子或丈夫，不要期待爱的回报。爱你的配偶，不要害怕有一天她或他会离开。享受给予纯洁的爱。记住，你给予的爱永远不会被失去的。
相信你的配偶。
认识到信任你的伴侣是拥有长久婚姻的关键。更要了解你的配偶，听她或他说，别再胡思乱想了。除非有明显的证据表明你的配偶欺骗了你，否则一定要把她或他当作一个可以信任的人。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
10. Be trustworthy.
Don’t ask your spouse to give you trust. Work hard, earn, and maintain it. Help your better half trust you easily.
11. Always thank your better half.
Thank your wife or husband for the care and sacrifice she or he is giving you. Let your better half feel that everything she or he does to you, even if they are just simple things, they are valued and appreciated.
12. Have more patience.
Stop complaining when your goals and wishes are not yet achieved. Understand that great things are worth the wait. Be calm and do not be easily angry. When you experience trials and challenges in your relationship, consider them as opportunities to strengthen the love and faithfulness in your marriage.
值得信赖。
不要要求你的配偶给你信任。努力工作，挣钱，维持生活。帮助你的另一半更容易信任你。
永远感谢你的另一半。
感谢你的妻子或丈夫对你的关心和牺牲。让你的另一半感觉到，她或他对你所做的一切，即使只是简单的事情，都是值得珍惜和欣赏的。
多点耐心。
当你的目标和愿望还没有实现时，不要抱怨。明白伟大的事情值得等待。保持冷静，不要轻易生气。当你在你们的关系中经历考验和挑战时，把它们看作是加强婚姻中的爱和忠诚的机会。
Don’t ask your spouse to give you trust. Work hard, earn, and maintain it. Help your better half trust you easily.
11. Always thank your better half.
Thank your wife or husband for the care and sacrifice she or he is giving you. Let your better half feel that everything she or he does to you, even if they are just simple things, they are valued and appreciated.
12. Have more patience.
Stop complaining when your goals and wishes are not yet achieved. Understand that great things are worth the wait. Be calm and do not be easily angry. When you experience trials and challenges in your relationship, consider them as opportunities to strengthen the love and faithfulness in your marriage.
值得信赖。
不要要求你的配偶给你信任。努力工作，挣钱，维持生活。帮助你的另一半更容易信任你。
永远感谢你的另一半。
感谢你的妻子或丈夫对你的关心和牺牲。让你的另一半感觉到，她或他对你所做的一切，即使只是简单的事情，都是值得珍惜和欣赏的。
多点耐心。
当你的目标和愿望还没有实现时，不要抱怨。明白伟大的事情值得等待。保持冷静，不要轻易生气。当你在你们的关系中经历考验和挑战时，把它们看作是加强婚姻中的爱和忠诚的机会。
13. If you get angry, get rid of it before the day ends.
Don’t let the day ends with hatred in your heart. Make peace with your wife or husband before the two of you sleep at night.
14. Be healthy and beautiful for your better half.
Continue impressing your spouse. Have good hygiene, maintain your natural beauty, go to the gym, do meditations, and eat a balanced diet to always look stunning for your wife
15. Avoid bad and toxic people.
Choose your friends and companions. Avoid people who will influence you to sin or do extramarital affairs. Stay away from people who will corrupt your good character and ruin your marriage.
如果你生气了，在一天结束前把它处理掉。
不要让这一天以你心中的仇恨而结束。在你们两个晚上睡觉之前和你的妻子或丈夫和好。
为了你的另一半健康美丽。
持续给你的配偶留下深刻印象。保持良好的卫生习惯，保持你的自然美，去健身房，冥想，均衡饮食，让你的妻子看起来美极了
避免坏人和会带坏你的人。
选择你的朋友和同伴。避开那些会连累你犯罪或引起婚外情的人。远离那些会败坏你良好品格，毁掉你婚姻的人。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Don’t let the day ends with hatred in your heart. Make peace with your wife or husband before the two of you sleep at night.
14. Be healthy and beautiful for your better half.
Continue impressing your spouse. Have good hygiene, maintain your natural beauty, go to the gym, do meditations, and eat a balanced diet to always look stunning for your wife
15. Avoid bad and toxic people.
Choose your friends and companions. Avoid people who will influence you to sin or do extramarital affairs. Stay away from people who will corrupt your good character and ruin your marriage.
如果你生气了，在一天结束前把它处理掉。
不要让这一天以你心中的仇恨而结束。在你们两个晚上睡觉之前和你的妻子或丈夫和好。
为了你的另一半健康美丽。
持续给你的配偶留下深刻印象。保持良好的卫生习惯，保持你的自然美，去健身房，冥想，均衡饮食，让你的妻子看起来美极了
避免坏人和会带坏你的人。
选择你的朋友和同伴。避开那些会连累你犯罪或引起婚外情的人。远离那些会败坏你良好品格，毁掉你婚姻的人。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
16. Be mature and choose your priorities.
Prioritize your spouse, your children, your marriage, and your family over less significant things
17. Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness.
Stop pointing fingers and placing blame on your spouse. Admit your mistakes and sincerely ask your spouse for her or his forgiveness.
18. Pray to heal and forgive.
Meditate for enlightenment and pray for the healing of your heartaches. Take your time.
成熟一点，选择你的优先事项。
把你的配偶、孩子、婚姻和家庭放在次要的事情前面；
忏悔你的罪恶，请求宽恕。
别再指责你的配偶了。承认你的错误，真诚地请求你的配偶原谅。
祈祷治愈和宽恕。
为开悟而冥想，为治愈你的心痛而祈祷，慢慢来。
Prioritize your spouse, your children, your marriage, and your family over less significant things
17. Confess your sins and ask for forgiveness.
Stop pointing fingers and placing blame on your spouse. Admit your mistakes and sincerely ask your spouse for her or his forgiveness.
18. Pray to heal and forgive.
Meditate for enlightenment and pray for the healing of your heartaches. Take your time.
成熟一点，选择你的优先事项。
把你的配偶、孩子、婚姻和家庭放在次要的事情前面；
忏悔你的罪恶，请求宽恕。
别再指责你的配偶了。承认你的错误，真诚地请求你的配偶原谅。
祈祷治愈和宽恕。
为开悟而冥想，为治愈你的心痛而祈祷，慢慢来。
19. Practice prudence.
Do not be hasty with your actions and decisions. Think twice and always consider the consequences before you make a move or a choice.
20. Be kind and compassionate.
Feel what your spouse feels. Experience your partner’s pain or joy. Have compassion by understanding the innermost needs of your wife or husband. Give your spouse comfort, embrace, kindness, if she or he needs them.
21. Be humble.
Learn how to swallow your pride so that you can practice humility, forgiveness, and gracefulness. Moreover, live a simple and quiet life with your family to avoid problems which are too difficult for you to handle.
谨慎行事。
你做行动和决定不要草率。三思而后行，在你采取行动或做出选择之前，一定要考虑后果。
仁慈和富有同情心。
感受你配偶的感受。体验伴侣的痛苦或快乐。需要有同情心来理解你妻子或丈夫内心深处。如果你的配偶需要，给她安慰，拥抱，友善。
要谦虚。
学会如何放下骄傲，这样你就可以练习如何谦逊、宽恕和优雅。此外，与家人过一种简单而安静的生活，以避免遇到你难以处理的问题。
Do not be hasty with your actions and decisions. Think twice and always consider the consequences before you make a move or a choice.
20. Be kind and compassionate.
Feel what your spouse feels. Experience your partner’s pain or joy. Have compassion by understanding the innermost needs of your wife or husband. Give your spouse comfort, embrace, kindness, if she or he needs them.
21. Be humble.
Learn how to swallow your pride so that you can practice humility, forgiveness, and gracefulness. Moreover, live a simple and quiet life with your family to avoid problems which are too difficult for you to handle.
谨慎行事。
你做行动和决定不要草率。三思而后行，在你采取行动或做出选择之前，一定要考虑后果。
仁慈和富有同情心。
感受你配偶的感受。体验伴侣的痛苦或快乐。需要有同情心来理解你妻子或丈夫内心深处。如果你的配偶需要，给她安慰，拥抱，友善。
要谦虚。
学会如何放下骄傲，这样你就可以练习如何谦逊、宽恕和优雅。此外，与家人过一种简单而安静的生活，以避免遇到你难以处理的问题。
22. Live in the present.
Do not dwell on the past but focus on the present moment. Do not let your heartbreaks from the past ruin your current relationship. Do not let your worries about the future stop you from spending quality time with your spouse. Seize the opportunities today to show how much you love your wife or husband.
23. Quit recording your spouse’s past mistakes.
Stop counting and remembering your spouse past wrongs, especially if you have already forgiven them. Quit using them against your partner when you argue just to win the battle.
24. Stop keeping score.
In relation to #23, also quit on counting the good deeds you have done for your marriage just to show how superior you are to your spouse. Remember that marriage is not a competition but a unx between you and your partner. Promote teamwork in your relationship, not rivalry.
活在当下。
不要沉湎于过去，而要专注于现在。不要让你过去的痛苦毁掉你现在的关系。不要让你对未来的担忧阻止你与配偶共度美好时光。抓住今天的机会，向你的妻子或丈夫表达你的爱。
停止记录你配偶过去的错误。
停止计算和回忆你的配偶过去的错误，尤其是如果你已经原谅了他们。当你为了赢得战斗而争吵的时候，不要用它们来对付你的伴侣。
别再记谁付出多。
关于点，也不要记着你为婚姻所做的好事，只是为了表明你比你的配偶优越。记住，婚姻不是竞争，而是你和你的伴侣的结合。在你们的关系中保持团队合作，而不是竞争。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Do not dwell on the past but focus on the present moment. Do not let your heartbreaks from the past ruin your current relationship. Do not let your worries about the future stop you from spending quality time with your spouse. Seize the opportunities today to show how much you love your wife or husband.
23. Quit recording your spouse’s past mistakes.
Stop counting and remembering your spouse past wrongs, especially if you have already forgiven them. Quit using them against your partner when you argue just to win the battle.
24. Stop keeping score.
In relation to #23, also quit on counting the good deeds you have done for your marriage just to show how superior you are to your spouse. Remember that marriage is not a competition but a unx between you and your partner. Promote teamwork in your relationship, not rivalry.
活在当下。
不要沉湎于过去，而要专注于现在。不要让你过去的痛苦毁掉你现在的关系。不要让你对未来的担忧阻止你与配偶共度美好时光。抓住今天的机会，向你的妻子或丈夫表达你的爱。
停止记录你配偶过去的错误。
停止计算和回忆你的配偶过去的错误，尤其是如果你已经原谅了他们。当你为了赢得战斗而争吵的时候，不要用它们来对付你的伴侣。
别再记谁付出多。
关于点，也不要记着你为婚姻所做的好事，只是为了表明你比你的配偶优越。记住，婚姻不是竞争，而是你和你的伴侣的结合。在你们的关系中保持团队合作，而不是竞争。
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25. Be selfless.
Create plans, goals, and dreams for your spouse, your children and your whole family rather than just for yourself. Put your own happiness in their happiness.
26. Be loyal.
Never ever cheat. Don’t ever think that you will get another chance once you’ve done cheating, infidelity, and other extramarital affairs. Keep your marriage vows in your heart, mind, and soul.
27. Never stop loving.
Don’t stop caring for your spouse even if the two of you are arguing or fighting. Continue to love your wife or husband even if the two of you are quarreling and considering each other as enemies.
要无私。
为你的配偶、孩子和整个家庭制定计划、目标和梦想，而不仅仅是为你自己。把自己的幸福放在整个家的幸福里。
要忠诚。
永远不要作弊。不要以为一旦你欺骗、不忠和发生其他婚外情，你会有另一个机会。把你的结婚誓言放在心里、思想和灵魂里。
永远不要停止爱。
即使你们两个在争吵或吵架，也不要停止对配偶的照顾。即使你们两个吵架，认为对方是敌人，继续爱你的妻子或丈夫。
Create plans, goals, and dreams for your spouse, your children and your whole family rather than just for yourself. Put your own happiness in their happiness.
26. Be loyal.
Never ever cheat. Don’t ever think that you will get another chance once you’ve done cheating, infidelity, and other extramarital affairs. Keep your marriage vows in your heart, mind, and soul.
27. Never stop loving.
Don’t stop caring for your spouse even if the two of you are arguing or fighting. Continue to love your wife or husband even if the two of you are quarreling and considering each other as enemies.
要无私。
为你的配偶、孩子和整个家庭制定计划、目标和梦想，而不仅仅是为你自己。把自己的幸福放在整个家的幸福里。
要忠诚。
永远不要作弊。不要以为一旦你欺骗、不忠和发生其他婚外情，你会有另一个机会。把你的结婚誓言放在心里、思想和灵魂里。
永远不要停止爱。
即使你们两个在争吵或吵架，也不要停止对配偶的照顾。即使你们两个吵架，认为对方是敌人，继续爱你的妻子或丈夫。
28. Don’t lose hope.
Fight with all your might and don’t give up easily when your marriage is tested. Understand that it’s normal for married couples to encounter problems that will test their love. If things are getting too difficult, get a support system. Gain spiritual strength from God and get support from your family and friends.
29. Have faith.
Do something to realize the things you hope for. Understand that having faith is not just believing but also doing something to make what you believe in happen. In other words, have faith with deeds. If you’re faithful to your spouse, don’t just hope or believe that your marriage will last but do your best to keep yourself away from temptations.
30. Give only true love.
There is no secret to a long-lasting marriage but genuine love. Hence, learn and identify what the true love is. Evaluate yourself if you’re really giving real love to your spouse. If not, work for it. Remember that true love is not given magically to your wife or husband, but it is something that you need to work hard for. It requires your patience, perseverance, humility, honesty, and more.
不要失去希望。
尽你所能奋斗，当你的婚姻经受考验时不要轻易放弃。明白已婚夫妇遇到考验他们爱情的问题是很正常的。如果事情变得太困难，找一个支持系统。从神那里获得力量、从你的家人和朋友那里得到支持。
要有信心。
做点什么来实现你的愿望。要明白，有信心不仅仅是相信，而且是做一些事情来实现你的信仰。换言之，对行为要有信心。如果你对你的配偶忠诚，不要只希望或相信你的婚姻会长久，而要尽力让自己远离诱惑。
只给真爱。
长久的婚姻没有秘密，只有真爱。因此，学习并确定什么是真爱。如果你真的在给你的配偶真正的爱，那就评估一下你自己。如果没有，那就努力吧。记住，真爱不是被神奇地给予你的妻子或丈夫，而是你需要为之努力的东西。它需要你的耐心、毅力、谦逊、诚实等等。
Fight with all your might and don’t give up easily when your marriage is tested. Understand that it’s normal for married couples to encounter problems that will test their love. If things are getting too difficult, get a support system. Gain spiritual strength from God and get support from your family and friends.
29. Have faith.
Do something to realize the things you hope for. Understand that having faith is not just believing but also doing something to make what you believe in happen. In other words, have faith with deeds. If you’re faithful to your spouse, don’t just hope or believe that your marriage will last but do your best to keep yourself away from temptations.
30. Give only true love.
There is no secret to a long-lasting marriage but genuine love. Hence, learn and identify what the true love is. Evaluate yourself if you’re really giving real love to your spouse. If not, work for it. Remember that true love is not given magically to your wife or husband, but it is something that you need to work hard for. It requires your patience, perseverance, humility, honesty, and more.
不要失去希望。
尽你所能奋斗，当你的婚姻经受考验时不要轻易放弃。明白已婚夫妇遇到考验他们爱情的问题是很正常的。如果事情变得太困难，找一个支持系统。从神那里获得力量、从你的家人和朋友那里得到支持。
要有信心。
做点什么来实现你的愿望。要明白，有信心不仅仅是相信，而且是做一些事情来实现你的信仰。换言之，对行为要有信心。如果你对你的配偶忠诚，不要只希望或相信你的婚姻会长久，而要尽力让自己远离诱惑。
只给真爱。
长久的婚姻没有秘密，只有真爱。因此，学习并确定什么是真爱。如果你真的在给你的配偶真正的爱，那就评估一下你自己。如果没有，那就努力吧。记住，真爱不是被神奇地给予你的妻子或丈夫，而是你需要为之努力的东西。它需要你的耐心、毅力、谦逊、诚实等等。
31. Discipline your children.
Don’t just be a better spouse to your wife or husband, but also be a better parent to your children. To make your marriage last, make your family happy and successful too. Teach your children how to become good and responsible people so that they will not be your family’s problem in the future.
32. Let love be the center of your marriage.
Know that true love binds all the good virtues that will help you and your spouse have a happy and long-lasting marriage. It unites your patience, kindness, compassion, humility, truthfulness, and faithfulness in perfect harmony to make your relationship last. Hence, always let love be the center of your marriage, not money and other material things.
管教你的孩子。
不要只是做一个更好的妻子或丈夫的配偶，也要更好的做一个孩子的父母。让你的婚姻长久，让你的家庭也幸福和成功。教你的孩子如何成为一个好的、负责任的人，这样他们在将来就不会成为你家的问题。
让爱成为你婚姻的中心。
要知道，真正的爱情结合了所有的美德，这些美德将帮助你和你的配偶拥有一个幸福而持久的婚姻。它将你的耐心、善良、同情、谦逊、诚实和忠诚完美地结合在一起，使你们的关系持续下去。因此，永远让爱成为你婚姻的中心，而不是金钱和其他物质的东西。
Don’t just be a better spouse to your wife or husband, but also be a better parent to your children. To make your marriage last, make your family happy and successful too. Teach your children how to become good and responsible people so that they will not be your family’s problem in the future.
32. Let love be the center of your marriage.
Know that true love binds all the good virtues that will help you and your spouse have a happy and long-lasting marriage. It unites your patience, kindness, compassion, humility, truthfulness, and faithfulness in perfect harmony to make your relationship last. Hence, always let love be the center of your marriage, not money and other material things.
管教你的孩子。
不要只是做一个更好的妻子或丈夫的配偶，也要更好的做一个孩子的父母。让你的婚姻长久，让你的家庭也幸福和成功。教你的孩子如何成为一个好的、负责任的人，这样他们在将来就不会成为你家的问题。
让爱成为你婚姻的中心。
要知道，真正的爱情结合了所有的美德，这些美德将帮助你和你的配偶拥有一个幸福而持久的婚姻。它将你的耐心、善良、同情、谦逊、诚实和忠诚完美地结合在一起，使你们的关系持续下去。因此，永远让爱成为你婚姻的中心，而不是金钱和其他物质的东西。
Final thoughts
Understand that marriage is teamwork. That is why the both of you are called better halves. To have a long-lasting marriage, both of you should strive to follow the tips above. It won’t work if only one is working it out. But if your partner is struggling to be a better spouse, remember not to judge her or him quickly or force your better half to change instantly. Instead, be a role model and show your beloved spouse how to practice the ways above.
Remember no marriage is perfect .Every couple is different .
最后的想法
明白婚姻就是团队合作。这就是为什么你们都被称为更好的一半。要想拥有一段长久的婚姻，你们两个都应该努力遵循上面的建议。如果只有一个人在解决，那就行不通了。但是，如果你的另一半正在努力成为一个更好的配偶，记住不要对她或他很快做出判断，也不要强迫你的另一半立即改变。相反，做一个榜样，向你心爱的配偶展示如何实践上述方法。
记住，没有完美的婚姻，每对夫妻都是不同的。
Understand that marriage is teamwork. That is why the both of you are called better halves. To have a long-lasting marriage, both of you should strive to follow the tips above. It won’t work if only one is working it out. But if your partner is struggling to be a better spouse, remember not to judge her or him quickly or force your better half to change instantly. Instead, be a role model and show your beloved spouse how to practice the ways above.
Remember no marriage is perfect .Every couple is different .
最后的想法
明白婚姻就是团队合作。这就是为什么你们都被称为更好的一半。要想拥有一段长久的婚姻，你们两个都应该努力遵循上面的建议。如果只有一个人在解决，那就行不通了。但是，如果你的另一半正在努力成为一个更好的配偶，记住不要对她或他很快做出判断，也不要强迫你的另一半立即改变。相反，做一个榜样，向你心爱的配偶展示如何实践上述方法。
记住，没有完美的婚姻，每对夫妻都是不同的。
Chris Jones, studied Human Behavior at University of Toronto (1990)
a marriage is an equal partnership, filled with: compromise, commitment, understanding, LOVE, faithfulness, listening, etc.
My answer is to always retain your *individuality* and hang on to your individual interests and hobbies. Just because we are married, it does not mean that we are “joined at the hip” for life.
I have my own thoughts, opinions and ideas. I do whatever I want, whenever I want. I refuse to be TOLD what to do, at any given time. My spouse is NOT my boss, or my Mother, or my Master.
When one spouse gives power to the other, that’s when the marriage becomes a disaster waiting to happen. Married couples should compliment each other. I don’t mean to lavish praise on the other, I mean her positive attributes should compliment and reinforce his positive attributes.
婚姻是一种平等的伙伴关系，充满了：妥协、承诺、理解、爱、忠诚、倾听等等方面。
我的答案是永远保持你的个性，坚持你的个人兴趣和爱好。我们结婚了，并不意味着我们就一辈子“合二为一”。
我有自己的想法、观点和想法。我想干什么就干什么。在任何时候，我都拒绝别人告诉我该做什么。我的配偶不是我的老板，不是我的母亲，也不是我的主人。
当一方给予另一方权力时，婚姻就变成了一场等待发生的灾难。已婚夫妇应该互相称赞。我不是要对对方大加赞扬我，我是说她应该赞美和强化他的积极品质。
a marriage is an equal partnership, filled with: compromise, commitment, understanding, LOVE, faithfulness, listening, etc.
My answer is to always retain your *individuality* and hang on to your individual interests and hobbies. Just because we are married, it does not mean that we are “joined at the hip” for life.
I have my own thoughts, opinions and ideas. I do whatever I want, whenever I want. I refuse to be TOLD what to do, at any given time. My spouse is NOT my boss, or my Mother, or my Master.
When one spouse gives power to the other, that’s when the marriage becomes a disaster waiting to happen. Married couples should compliment each other. I don’t mean to lavish praise on the other, I mean her positive attributes should compliment and reinforce his positive attributes.
婚姻是一种平等的伙伴关系，充满了：妥协、承诺、理解、爱、忠诚、倾听等等方面。
我的答案是永远保持你的个性，坚持你的个人兴趣和爱好。我们结婚了，并不意味着我们就一辈子“合二为一”。
我有自己的想法、观点和想法。我想干什么就干什么。在任何时候，我都拒绝别人告诉我该做什么。我的配偶不是我的老板，不是我的母亲，也不是我的主人。
当一方给予另一方权力时，婚姻就变成了一场等待发生的灾难。已婚夫妇应该互相称赞。我不是要对对方大加赞扬我，我是说她应该赞美和强化他的积极品质。
My marriage lasts because at any given time, we each do our own “thing” whatever that may be. We do spend time together; we both work and contribute to the household income, we both help with chores around the house, we both go out and have fun, we both make meals and entertain guests.
One thing to keep in mind is the difference between EXPECTATION vs REALITY. Your marriage will *never* turn out to be some (ridiculous) Fairy-Tale, like the ones we see on TV shows or in movies. It’s probably the biggest reason why divorce rates sit at 50%, people expect “Happily Ever After” and when they don’t attain that fantasy, they become disillusioned and call-it-quits.
And we talk to one another. Probably the most important aspect of keeping a marriage alive. ALSO, every marriage is DIFFERENT and one list of *suggestions* will never fit every relationship.
A happy marriage consists of whatever makes YOU happy! AND if you (the husband) choose to wake up every day, and decide to spend every waking moment trying to make HER happy, then do THAT!
我的婚姻之所以长久，是因为在任何特定的时间，我们每个人都会做自己的“事情”，而不管那是什么。我们确实在一起度过了时光；我们都在工作，为家庭收入做贡献，我们都在家里帮忙做家务，我们都出去玩，我们都做饭，招待客人。
要记住的一点是期望和现实之间的区别。你的婚姻永远不会像我们在电视节目或电影中看到的那样，变成某种（荒谬的）童话。这可能是离婚率保持在50%的最大原因，人们期望从此幸福快乐，当他们没有实现这一幻想时，他们就会幻想破灭，并就此罢休。
我们彼此交谈。可能是维持婚姻生活最重要的方面。而且，每段婚姻都是不同的，一份“建议”清单永远不会适合每段关系。
幸福的婚姻是由任何让你幸福的东西组成的！如果你（丈夫）选择每天醒来，决定把醒着的每一刻都花在让她开心上，那就这么做吧！
One thing to keep in mind is the difference between EXPECTATION vs REALITY. Your marriage will *never* turn out to be some (ridiculous) Fairy-Tale, like the ones we see on TV shows or in movies. It’s probably the biggest reason why divorce rates sit at 50%, people expect “Happily Ever After” and when they don’t attain that fantasy, they become disillusioned and call-it-quits.
And we talk to one another. Probably the most important aspect of keeping a marriage alive. ALSO, every marriage is DIFFERENT and one list of *suggestions* will never fit every relationship.
A happy marriage consists of whatever makes YOU happy! AND if you (the husband) choose to wake up every day, and decide to spend every waking moment trying to make HER happy, then do THAT!
我的婚姻之所以长久，是因为在任何特定的时间，我们每个人都会做自己的“事情”，而不管那是什么。我们确实在一起度过了时光；我们都在工作，为家庭收入做贡献，我们都在家里帮忙做家务，我们都出去玩，我们都做饭，招待客人。
要记住的一点是期望和现实之间的区别。你的婚姻永远不会像我们在电视节目或电影中看到的那样，变成某种（荒谬的）童话。这可能是离婚率保持在50%的最大原因，人们期望从此幸福快乐，当他们没有实现这一幻想时，他们就会幻想破灭，并就此罢休。
我们彼此交谈。可能是维持婚姻生活最重要的方面。而且，每段婚姻都是不同的，一份“建议”清单永远不会适合每段关系。
幸福的婚姻是由任何让你幸福的东西组成的！如果你（丈夫）选择每天醒来，决定把醒着的每一刻都花在让她开心上，那就这么做吧！
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