打屁股的自我修养（一）：非暴力律人
正文翻译
Spanking is a much-debated topic. Most child psychologists do not recommend spanking as a discipline method for children. However, some parents will tell you that a spanking given with fairness, love, and care is an effective discipline technique. The decision as to the usefulness of spanking is best made by a child's parents, within the norms and laws of their local regions.
打屁股这个话题备受争议。大部分儿童心理学家不建议将打屁股作为管教孩子的方法。然而有些家长会告诉你 ，用公平合理、爱护和关怀的方式打屁股是一种管用的管教技巧。至于打屁股到底有没有用，孩子的父母最好是遵守当地的法律法规再做出决定。
How to Give a Spanking
1Disciplining Nonviolently
2Preparing to Spank
3Delivering the Spanking
1.律人非暴力
2.准备打屁股
3.实施打屁股
1Disciplining Nonviolently
2Preparing to Spank
3Delivering the Spanking
1.律人非暴力
2.准备打屁股
3.实施打屁股
Spanking is a much-debated topic. Most child psychologists do not recommend spanking as a discipline method for children. However, some parents will tell you that a spanking given with fairness, love, and care is an effective discipline technique. The decision as to the usefulness of spanking is best made by a child's parents, within the norms and laws of their local regions.
打屁股这个话题备受争议。大部分儿童心理学家不建议将打屁股作为管教孩子的方法。然而有些家长会告诉你 ，用公平合理、爱护和关怀的方式打屁股是一种管用的管教技巧。至于打屁股到底有没有用，孩子的父母最好是遵守当地的法律法规再做出决定。
1.
Disciplining Nonviolently
非暴力管教(律人）
Disciplining Nonviolently
非暴力管教(律人）
Start small.
从小教起
从小教起
Don't immediately spank your child if you see them doing something you dislike. Talk to them first, and try a nonviolent method of discipline if needed. If you decide to spank a child, it should only be as a last resort, after other methods have failed.
如果你看到你的孩子在做你不喜欢的事情，不要马上打他的屁股。先和他们谈谈，如果需要的话，尝试一种非暴力的方式管教。如果你决定打孩子的屁股，这应该是最后的手段，在其他方法失败后。
如果你看到你的孩子在做你不喜欢的事情，不要马上打他的屁股。先和他们谈谈，如果需要的话，尝试一种非暴力的方式管教。如果你决定打孩子的屁股，这应该是最后的手段，在其他方法失败后。
Conditional spanking (a mild spanking after a 2-to-6-year-old child has defied a less extreme form of discipline) is less risky than spanking as a first resort, according to some studies.[1]
据研究，特定条件下打屁股（当一个2到6岁的孩子违抗了不太极端的管教方式后，温和地打两下屁股）比作为第一手段的打屁股风险要小。[1]
[1]：另有研究表明体罚——包括打屁股、殴打和其他引起疼痛的手段——会增加儿童的攻击性、反社会行为、身体伤害和心理健康问题
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
据研究，特定条件下打屁股（当一个2到6岁的孩子违抗了不太极端的管教方式后，温和地打两下屁股）比作为第一手段的打屁股风险要小。[1]
[1]：另有研究表明体罚——包括打屁股、殴打和其他引起疼痛的手段——会增加儿童的攻击性、反社会行为、身体伤害和心理健康问题
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
2.
Ask the child calmly why they did what they did.
心平气和地问孩子他们为什么这么做
Ask the child calmly why they did what they did.
心平气和地问孩子他们为什么这么做
The child may not have realized that what they did was wrong, or maybe you misunderstood what happened. Talking can help clarify the situation: either helping the child realize why their decision was a bad one or helping you realize that your child didn't misbehave after all.
孩子们可能没有意识到自己做错事情，要么是你对发生的事情误会了。谈话能帮助你搞明白情况：要么帮孩子认识到他们的行为是错的，要么帮你认识到你的孩子压根没有不当行为。
孩子们可能没有意识到自己做错事情，要么是你对发生的事情误会了。谈话能帮助你搞明白情况：要么帮孩子认识到他们的行为是错的，要么帮你认识到你的孩子压根没有不当行为。
If you're too upset to be calm, say "I'm so upset, I need a break to calm down." Walk out of the room and take some deep breaths. Then come back.
如果你因心烦意乱无法平静心情，你可以对自己说句：“我太难了，我需要休息一下，冷静一下。”走出孩子房间，做个深呼吸，然后再回来。
如果你因心烦意乱无法平静心情，你可以对自己说句：“我太难了，我需要休息一下，冷静一下。”走出孩子房间，做个深呼吸，然后再回来。
3.
Talk to the child about the consequences of their actions.
For example:
"How do you think your sister will feel about you breaking her toy"
"When I didn't see you in the store, I felt really scared. I need you to stay close by so I know you're safe and not lost."
"How do you think Dad felt when he had to clean poop out of the bathtub"
与孩子谈论他们的行为会造成的后果。
比如：
Talk to the child about the consequences of their actions.
For example:
"How do you think your sister will feel about you breaking her toy"
"When I didn't see you in the store, I felt really scared. I need you to stay close by so I know you're safe and not lost."
"How do you think Dad felt when he had to clean poop out of the bathtub"
与孩子谈论他们的行为会造成的后果。
比如：
"How do you think your sister will feel about you breaking her toy"
“你觉得你妹妹会怎么想你弄坏她的玩具？”
“你觉得你妹妹会怎么想你弄坏她的玩具？”
"When I didn't see you in the store, I felt really scared. I need you to stay close by so I know you're safe and not lost."
“当我在商场看不到你的时候，我会感觉非常担心。我要你呆在我身旁，这样我才知道你没有走丢、没有迷路。”
“当我在商场看不到你的时候，我会感觉非常担心。我要你呆在我身旁，这样我才知道你没有走丢、没有迷路。”
"How do you think Dad felt when he had to clean poop out of the bathtub"
“你觉得你爸爸会怎么想他老是要从浴缸清理粪便？”
“你觉得你爸爸会怎么想他老是要从浴缸清理粪便？”
4.
Consider whether the child needs to be punished at all.
想清楚孩子是不是真的需要惩罚。
Consider whether the child needs to be punished at all.
想清楚孩子是不是真的需要惩罚。
5.
Look at non-physical consequences if needed.
如果惩罚有需要，考虑一下非身体性处罚
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Look at non-physical consequences if needed.
如果惩罚有需要，考虑一下非身体性处罚
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
6.
Give yourself a time out if you get angry with your child.
如果你生陔子的气，请给自己点时间喘息
Give yourself a time out if you get angry with your child.
如果你生陔子的气，请给自己点时间喘息
Parenting is hard, and it's normal to get frustrated or mad sometimes. If you feel like you're going to explode, step out of the room to calm down. You can discipline your child once you are level-headed.
为人父母难，偶尔感到沮丧、生气是很正常的。如果你觉得自己快要爆炸了，就走出房间冷静一下吧。等到你心态平和了，你就可以管教你的孩子了。
为人父母难，偶尔感到沮丧、生气是很正常的。如果你觉得自己快要爆炸了，就走出房间冷静一下吧。等到你心态平和了，你就可以管教你的孩子了。
Tell your child, "I am so mad, I don't know what to do! I am going to take a break to deal with my emotions."
告诉你的娃，“我好生气，我不知道怎么办，我要休息一下，平复心情。”
告诉你的娃，“我好生气，我不知道怎么办，我要休息一下，平复心情。”
7.
Help a child who is struggling to do what you ask.
帮一把那个正在坚难实现你期望的那个孩子
Help a child who is struggling to do what you ask.
帮一把那个正在坚难实现你期望的那个孩子
If your child struggles with cleaning their room, it might help if you do it with them.
如果你的孩大在打扫房间方面有坚难，你和他们一起打扫可能会有用。
如果你的孩大在打扫房间方面有坚难，你和他们一起打扫可能会有用。
8.
Talk to a child about how to behave better next time.
Sometimes, kids misbehave because they just don't know better.
和孩子谈谈怎么表现得更好
有时候，孩子们不守规矩是因为他们不懂规矩
Talk to a child about how to behave better next time.
Sometimes, kids misbehave because they just don't know better.
和孩子谈谈怎么表现得更好
有时候，孩子们不守规矩是因为他们不懂规矩
9.Praise the child for good behavior.
表扬孩子的检点行为
表扬孩子的检点行为
10.
Be a good role model.
以身作则
Be a good role model.
以身作则
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