你有多孤独（上）
正文翻译
How lonely are you?
你有多孤独？
How lonely are you?
你有多孤独？
评论翻译
Nitin Singh, Furniture Designer at IKEA
Answered September 13, 2018
I am male of 28 years old and I live in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia working in a MNC as software developer.
I stay alone in a flat because I dont like the company of people and I find solitude in staying alone.
I usually work from 11am-8pm, 5 days a week.
I smoke everyday and dont drink, only sometimes when I am in some office party.
Everyday I talk to my mom once a day for 15-30 mins.
Other than that I dont have anyone to talk to. I have/had friends but everyone is busy in life because of marriage or girlfriends.
Everyday I check my WhatsApp to see if someone messaged me but no one does except my mom and work related stuff.
回答与2018年9月13日。
性别男，我今年28岁，住在马来西亚吉隆坡，现在在一家跨国公司做软件开发。
因为我不喜欢有人陪伴，所以我一个人住，在独处中我感觉到很孤独。
我通常每周工作5天，从上午11点到晚上8点。
我经常抽烟，几乎每天都抽，但是我不喝酒，只是有时会在办公室聚会的时候会喝一点。
每天我都会和妈妈说说话，但每次也只聊15-30分钟的样子。
除此之外，我没有别的朋友可以聊天了。我有过朋友，但每个人都因为婚姻或女朋友而忙碌。
每天我都会翻一下手机，看看是否有人给我发信息，但除了我妈妈和一些工作相关的东西，没有人给我发信息。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Answered September 13, 2018
I am male of 28 years old and I live in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia working in a MNC as software developer.
I stay alone in a flat because I dont like the company of people and I find solitude in staying alone.
I usually work from 11am-8pm, 5 days a week.
I smoke everyday and dont drink, only sometimes when I am in some office party.
Everyday I talk to my mom once a day for 15-30 mins.
Other than that I dont have anyone to talk to. I have/had friends but everyone is busy in life because of marriage or girlfriends.
Everyday I check my WhatsApp to see if someone messaged me but no one does except my mom and work related stuff.
回答与2018年9月13日。
性别男，我今年28岁，住在马来西亚吉隆坡，现在在一家跨国公司做软件开发。
因为我不喜欢有人陪伴，所以我一个人住，在独处中我感觉到很孤独。
我通常每周工作5天，从上午11点到晚上8点。
我经常抽烟，几乎每天都抽，但是我不喝酒，只是有时会在办公室聚会的时候会喝一点。
每天我都会和妈妈说说话，但每次也只聊15-30分钟的样子。
除此之外，我没有别的朋友可以聊天了。我有过朋友，但每个人都因为婚姻或女朋友而忙碌。
每天我都会翻一下手机，看看是否有人给我发信息，但除了我妈妈和一些工作相关的东西，没有人给我发信息。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Its like,I am living in a Jungle in isolation with no one to talk to. There are many animals around but I dont understand them and neither do they.
On weekends I dont go anywhere and stay at home, those days I am completely silent as no one is there to talk to.
I dont go to vacations as well when there are so many beautiful places all around because I dont like to see people anymore until I absolutely need to, I dont hate people but I like to be alone because the void created in heart for so many years has shattered it completely and maybe beyond repair.
Everyday I come back from office, drop my bags, freshen up and play games on my computer because gaming helps me to forget the feeling of loneliness or alienation. I find solace in the virtual world when I feel threatened by reality.
I sleep for 9 hours a day as well which I never did before (2-3 years back), because it helps me to cut out myself from real world for few hours.
尼丁·辛格，宜家家具设计师。
就像，我生活在一个与世隔绝的丛林里，没有人可以交谈。周围有很多动物，但我不了解他们，他们也不了解我。
周末我也不会去其他任何地方，我就待在家里，这两天我会一直保持着沉默，因为没有人能和我交谈。
除非我真的需要（他人的陪伴），否则我不再想去见到别人了，所以即使周围有这么多美丽的地方，我也不会去度假。我不讨厌其他人，但因为这么多年来在心中创造的空虚已经完全把我的心粉碎了，也许我都无法修复它，所以我更喜欢独处。
每天我从办公室回来，放下包，梳洗一番，然后就会去玩电脑游戏，因为游戏可以帮助我忘记孤独或疏远的感觉。每当我感受到来自现实世界中的不顺心的时候，我就会在虚拟世界中找到慰藉。
我每天也睡够了9个小时，这是我以前从来没有做到过的（2-3年前），这也有助于我可以在这几个小时内远离现实世界。
On weekends I dont go anywhere and stay at home, those days I am completely silent as no one is there to talk to.
I dont go to vacations as well when there are so many beautiful places all around because I dont like to see people anymore until I absolutely need to, I dont hate people but I like to be alone because the void created in heart for so many years has shattered it completely and maybe beyond repair.
Everyday I come back from office, drop my bags, freshen up and play games on my computer because gaming helps me to forget the feeling of loneliness or alienation. I find solace in the virtual world when I feel threatened by reality.
I sleep for 9 hours a day as well which I never did before (2-3 years back), because it helps me to cut out myself from real world for few hours.
尼丁·辛格，宜家家具设计师。
就像，我生活在一个与世隔绝的丛林里，没有人可以交谈。周围有很多动物，但我不了解他们，他们也不了解我。
周末我也不会去其他任何地方，我就待在家里，这两天我会一直保持着沉默，因为没有人能和我交谈。
除非我真的需要（他人的陪伴），否则我不再想去见到别人了，所以即使周围有这么多美丽的地方，我也不会去度假。我不讨厌其他人，但因为这么多年来在心中创造的空虚已经完全把我的心粉碎了，也许我都无法修复它，所以我更喜欢独处。
每天我从办公室回来，放下包，梳洗一番，然后就会去玩电脑游戏，因为游戏可以帮助我忘记孤独或疏远的感觉。每当我感受到来自现实世界中的不顺心的时候，我就会在虚拟世界中找到慰藉。
我每天也睡够了9个小时，这是我以前从来没有做到过的（2-3年前），这也有助于我可以在这几个小时内远离现实世界。
I see people posting pictures with their girlfriends or exotic vacation pics, and though I dont get jealous and happy for them, but i ask God everyday why u left me with nothing ? I never hurt anyone, neither did I do anything wrong to anyone.
It makes me feel like I have no reason to wake up in morning and go to work, I have 0 motivation because money was never one for me and never will be.
I feel like I am living on this earth as a Human without a soul which is either dead or turned so cold that I dont feel it anymore.
I am more robot than the actual robots themselves with a little bit better Artificial Intelligence.
Everyday I am limping on life to carry myself to the next day and find meaning to it.
因为不管是过去、现在还是将来，金钱对我来说什么都不是。这让我觉得我没有理由早上起床去工作，我没有动力。
我觉得我生活在这个世界上，就像一个没有灵魂的人，而这个灵魂要么已经死了，要么已经冷得我让再也感觉不到了。
我比真正的机器人更像机器人，只不过我会比人工智能稍微好一点。
每天我都是在生活的路上蹒跚着，支撑着自己到第二天，并且一直坚持着去发现生活的意义。
It makes me feel like I have no reason to wake up in morning and go to work, I have 0 motivation because money was never one for me and never will be.
I feel like I am living on this earth as a Human without a soul which is either dead or turned so cold that I dont feel it anymore.
I am more robot than the actual robots themselves with a little bit better Artificial Intelligence.
Everyday I am limping on life to carry myself to the next day and find meaning to it.
因为不管是过去、现在还是将来，金钱对我来说什么都不是。这让我觉得我没有理由早上起床去工作，我没有动力。
我觉得我生活在这个世界上，就像一个没有灵魂的人，而这个灵魂要么已经死了，要么已经冷得我让再也感觉不到了。
我比真正的机器人更像机器人，只不过我会比人工智能稍微好一点。
每天我都是在生活的路上蹒跚着，支撑着自己到第二天，并且一直坚持着去发现生活的意义。
I hope tomorrow will be better and everyday I get disappointed , that today is same as yesterday and will not change anytime soon.
From the outside I am a very jolly person and people at work love the attitude that I am always making fun here and there.
But the outlook of me on the outside is the makeup I wear everyday so as no one notices the pain inside.
I dont want people to sympathize with me so I hide it from rest of the world and even my parents.
I have not told this to anyone before today but I felt like answering this question so I did.
After all this I keep positive and try to focus on my work.
I am is a state of life where loneliness and depression hits the most.
I feel how it would feel if I would had a friend and if she/he listens to whatever I had to say and i listen to him/her.
But some things in life we can never have and some things are never meant to be ours.
我看到人们上传他们和女朋友的照片或异国度假的照片的时候，虽然我不嫉妒他们，也不会为他们高兴，但我每天还是会问问上帝为什么你让我一无所有？我从未伤害过任何人，我也没有做错任何事。
我希望明天会更好，但每天我都会感到失望，今天和昨天一个样，不会很快有所改变。
从外表来看，我是一个非常快乐的人，同事们都喜欢我这种态度，我总是会到处开玩笑。
但是我的外表就是我每天"化妆"的样子，所以并没有人能注意到我内心的痛苦。
我不希望人们同情我，所以我把我的内心隐藏了起来，不让世界上其他人，甚至我的父母知道。
在今天之前我都没有告诉过任何人（我究竟是个什么样的人），但是因为我想回答这个问题，所以我就把我真实的样子告诉大家了。
在这一切之后，我还是会保持积极的态度，努力专注于我的工作。
我现在的生活状态是孤独的，并且我有着很严重的抑郁。
（我在想）如果我有一个朋友，如果她/他听我说什么，我听他/她说什么，我会有什么样的感觉。
但生活中有些东西我们永远都不能拥有，有些东西永远都不会属于我们。
From the outside I am a very jolly person and people at work love the attitude that I am always making fun here and there.
But the outlook of me on the outside is the makeup I wear everyday so as no one notices the pain inside.
I dont want people to sympathize with me so I hide it from rest of the world and even my parents.
I have not told this to anyone before today but I felt like answering this question so I did.
After all this I keep positive and try to focus on my work.
I am is a state of life where loneliness and depression hits the most.
I feel how it would feel if I would had a friend and if she/he listens to whatever I had to say and i listen to him/her.
But some things in life we can never have and some things are never meant to be ours.
我看到人们上传他们和女朋友的照片或异国度假的照片的时候，虽然我不嫉妒他们，也不会为他们高兴，但我每天还是会问问上帝为什么你让我一无所有？我从未伤害过任何人，我也没有做错任何事。
我希望明天会更好，但每天我都会感到失望，今天和昨天一个样，不会很快有所改变。
从外表来看，我是一个非常快乐的人，同事们都喜欢我这种态度，我总是会到处开玩笑。
但是我的外表就是我每天"化妆"的样子，所以并没有人能注意到我内心的痛苦。
我不希望人们同情我，所以我把我的内心隐藏了起来，不让世界上其他人，甚至我的父母知道。
在今天之前我都没有告诉过任何人（我究竟是个什么样的人），但是因为我想回答这个问题，所以我就把我真实的样子告诉大家了。
在这一切之后，我还是会保持积极的态度，努力专注于我的工作。
我现在的生活状态是孤独的，并且我有着很严重的抑郁。
（我在想）如果我有一个朋友，如果她/他听我说什么，我听他/她说什么，我会有什么样的感觉。
但生活中有些东西我们永远都不能拥有，有些东西永远都不会属于我们。
Anonymous
I tried to prevent myself from caring and writing an answer for this question as I am not a regular user of Quora but I guess even after getting used to loneliness and isolation after years of experience, amazingly I still have some desires left deep within me which make me want to share my story with other people. Damn you human brain, you're so hard to figure out!
Okay, so a severe case of loneliness here. And let me start by saying how glad it makes me feel to see the 100+ answers to this question and I think may be at least 10% of these people will be able to relate with the extent of my relationship with loneliness. I am not a special or an unusual example in any sense and could easily attest to most of the things mentioned in some of the other answers here which I just went through, except that may be I find a sharper version of some in my life and have a couple of things to add.
Introduction. I am almost 28 year old, a straight male. I do not suffer from any social anxiety, or a documented disorder which would prevent me from normal interactions in any situation (and trust me I have done my research). I don't exactly know what's wrong with me and only reason I could offer is that I am too different from most people and too indifferent to care about it, especially now and at this age.
匿名
因为我不是Quora的常客，所以我试图阻止自己关心这个问题并为回答这个问题，但令人惊奇的是，即使在我经历了多年的孤独和寂寞之后，我内心深处仍然有一些想和别人分享我的故事的渴望。这该死的人类大脑真的让人太难理解了！
好吧，我是一个严重的孤独者的案例。首先，我想说的是，看了关于这个问题的100多个答案之后，我感到很高兴，我认为至少有10%的人能够理解我与孤独的关系。不管从哪种层面来说，我都不是一个特别的或不寻常的例子。除了我可能在我的生活中会发现一些更鲜明的版本，以及还有一些事情要补充之外，我可以很容易地证明我刚刚经历过一些在其他回答中提到的大多数事情。
导言。我差不多28岁了，是个直男。我没有任何社交焦虑症，也没有记录在案的会妨碍我在任何情况下进行正常互动的障碍（相信我，我研究过）。我不知道我到底是怎么了，我能说的唯一理由是我和大多数人太不一样了，我太冷漠了，我根本就不在乎（周围的事物），尤其是现在和年龄。
I tried to prevent myself from caring and writing an answer for this question as I am not a regular user of Quora but I guess even after getting used to loneliness and isolation after years of experience, amazingly I still have some desires left deep within me which make me want to share my story with other people. Damn you human brain, you're so hard to figure out!
Okay, so a severe case of loneliness here. And let me start by saying how glad it makes me feel to see the 100+ answers to this question and I think may be at least 10% of these people will be able to relate with the extent of my relationship with loneliness. I am not a special or an unusual example in any sense and could easily attest to most of the things mentioned in some of the other answers here which I just went through, except that may be I find a sharper version of some in my life and have a couple of things to add.
Introduction. I am almost 28 year old, a straight male. I do not suffer from any social anxiety, or a documented disorder which would prevent me from normal interactions in any situation (and trust me I have done my research). I don't exactly know what's wrong with me and only reason I could offer is that I am too different from most people and too indifferent to care about it, especially now and at this age.
匿名
因为我不是Quora的常客，所以我试图阻止自己关心这个问题并为回答这个问题，但令人惊奇的是，即使在我经历了多年的孤独和寂寞之后，我内心深处仍然有一些想和别人分享我的故事的渴望。这该死的人类大脑真的让人太难理解了！
好吧，我是一个严重的孤独者的案例。首先，我想说的是，看了关于这个问题的100多个答案之后，我感到很高兴，我认为至少有10%的人能够理解我与孤独的关系。不管从哪种层面来说，我都不是一个特别的或不寻常的例子。除了我可能在我的生活中会发现一些更鲜明的版本，以及还有一些事情要补充之外，我可以很容易地证明我刚刚经历过一些在其他回答中提到的大多数事情。
导言。我差不多28岁了，是个直男。我没有任何社交焦虑症，也没有记录在案的会妨碍我在任何情况下进行正常互动的障碍（相信我，我研究过）。我不知道我到底是怎么了，我能说的唯一理由是我和大多数人太不一样了，我太冷漠了，我根本就不在乎（周围的事物），尤其是现在和年龄。
Just to give you a taste of what my life is like, I have been living alone for many years now. The only people I know and communicate with in any capacity are work friends, or rather colleagues. Outside this circle, I have conversed with my parents, siblings and may be 3 other “friends” in the whole of last year. I don't recall the last time my phone rang with a non marketing call. But all these things are pretty normal in any lonely person's life and there is nothing new about mine.
What I will instead describe here are mostly the psychological effects and tribulations that it entails, and again, apologies in advance if these have been shared before. I have been in this state for more than 4 years now with few short laps of human contact here and there (more on that as I go on), which in retrospect might only have exacerbated the pain of an otherwise consistent lifestyle. And as any discussion on loneliness is incomplete without the mention of relationship, I would say I have none, and never had one with the exception of a couple short lived flings constituting those aforementioned companionship experiences.
我只是想让你了解一下我的生活，我已经独自生活了很多年了。我所认识并且以我所有的身份与之交流的人只有工作上的朋友，或者更确切地说是同事。在这个圈子之外，去年一整年，我只和我的父母，兄弟姐妹以及其他三个可能是“朋友”的人聊过天。我已经不记得上一个非营销电话是什么时候打过来的了。但所有的这些在任何感到孤独的人的生活中都是很正常的，我的生活也没有什么新鲜事。
我将在这里描述的主要是它所带来的心理影响和痛苦，我想再补充一下，如果之前有人分享过这些，我想提前说一声抱歉。
我已经在这种状态下生活了4年多，一直以来都很少有和其他人的接触，如果有也只是短暂的接触（更多的一些接触我会在下面提到），
现在回想起来，这可能只会加剧原本一贯的生活方式带来的痛苦。
如果没有提到关系的话，任何关于孤独的讨论都是不完整的，而除了一次短暂的恋情构成了上述的友谊经历，我会说我和其他人一点关系都没有，也从来没有过什么关系。
What I will instead describe here are mostly the psychological effects and tribulations that it entails, and again, apologies in advance if these have been shared before. I have been in this state for more than 4 years now with few short laps of human contact here and there (more on that as I go on), which in retrospect might only have exacerbated the pain of an otherwise consistent lifestyle. And as any discussion on loneliness is incomplete without the mention of relationship, I would say I have none, and never had one with the exception of a couple short lived flings constituting those aforementioned companionship experiences.
我只是想让你了解一下我的生活，我已经独自生活了很多年了。我所认识并且以我所有的身份与之交流的人只有工作上的朋友，或者更确切地说是同事。在这个圈子之外，去年一整年，我只和我的父母，兄弟姐妹以及其他三个可能是“朋友”的人聊过天。我已经不记得上一个非营销电话是什么时候打过来的了。但所有的这些在任何感到孤独的人的生活中都是很正常的，我的生活也没有什么新鲜事。
我将在这里描述的主要是它所带来的心理影响和痛苦，我想再补充一下，如果之前有人分享过这些，我想提前说一声抱歉。
我已经在这种状态下生活了4年多，一直以来都很少有和其他人的接触，如果有也只是短暂的接触（更多的一些接触我会在下面提到），
现在回想起来，这可能只会加剧原本一贯的生活方式带来的痛苦。
如果没有提到关系的话，任何关于孤独的讨论都是不完整的，而除了一次短暂的恋情构成了上述的友谊经历，我会说我和其他人一点关系都没有，也从来没有过什么关系。
Time. The biggest and most crucial factor in the extremities of loneliness is the factor of time. And granted, I may not have yet experienced extraordinary lengths of time that some of the other responders here have, I still have gone through many phases and changed a whole lot during this period. The thing about humans is that we are pathologically social beings, to the point of almost non-existence in complete isolation (true for most of us). Our personalities, and our memories shape in the way they do because they contain the element of company in them. Having spent most of my 20s in moderate to extreme isolation, I can feel the difference between my childhood memories and those from last few years. The latter are only revived in brain with a distinct vacuousness, as if they are soulless and the only parts that shine among them are the ones which contain the presence of someone else. As a matter of fact, most of my alone memories and experiences I created can be washed out by one tinge of a powerful remembrance that includes another human being. The way it affects me is subtle. Years go by and I don't "fully" realize I have really lived a life. So strictly speaking, it becomes less of an existence than that of a normal human being.
Emotions. Emotions are hardest and most unpredictable part to achieve control over. I have gone through very miserable cycles of utter despair, heartbreak, depression and insomnia before arriving at a point where tears have become hard to bring about. And given my lonely existence, other psychological afflictions like emotional vulnerabilities, predilection to romanticism, lower confidence, premature attachment, many insecurities etc. are difficult to avoid and have been an integral part of my personality. But this question is not about that and I will spare all the details. The key takeaway is that lonely people are more susceptible to emotional breakdowns and experience higher degree of pains from break-ups and other strains in relationships. I am no exception to that.
时间。在孤独的边缘，最大、最关键的因素是时间。诚然，我可能还没有经历过像其他回帖人那样漫长的时间，但我仍然经历了很多阶段，在这段时间里我改变了很多。对于人们来说的一件事情是，我们是社会中病态的存在，已经到了几乎完全被孤立得不存在的地步（对我们大多数人来说都是如此）。因为我们的个性与记忆包含着陪伴的元素，所以它们都只能以自己的方式形成。在我20多岁的大部分时间里，我都处于中度到极度的孤独之中，我能感觉到童年的记忆和过去几年的记忆之间的差异。后者只在大脑中以一种明显的空虚感存在着，它们仿佛是没有灵魂的，它们之间唯一发光的部分是包含着其他人存在的部分。事实上，因为我自己独处而出现的大部分记忆和经历都可以被一种包括着另一个人的强烈的记忆冲走。但它对我的影响是微妙的。几年过去了，我还没有“完全”意识到我真的过着这样的生活。所以严格地说，这些独处的记忆的存在还比不过和正常人相处的记忆的存在。
情绪。情绪是最难控制和最不可预测的部分。我经历了极度绝望、心碎、抑郁和失眠的痛苦循环，一直到眼泪都难以流出来。考虑到我是孤独的，所以其他的心理问题，如情感脆弱、浪漫主义倾向、自信心低下、过早依恋、没有安全感等，都是难以避免的，并且这些都已经成为我人格的一个组成部分。但这些问题与此无关，所以我将省去所有细节。
关键的一点是，孤独的人在分手和其他关系带来的压力中更容易情绪崩溃，也更容易受到更高程度的痛苦。我也不例外。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Emotions. Emotions are hardest and most unpredictable part to achieve control over. I have gone through very miserable cycles of utter despair, heartbreak, depression and insomnia before arriving at a point where tears have become hard to bring about. And given my lonely existence, other psychological afflictions like emotional vulnerabilities, predilection to romanticism, lower confidence, premature attachment, many insecurities etc. are difficult to avoid and have been an integral part of my personality. But this question is not about that and I will spare all the details. The key takeaway is that lonely people are more susceptible to emotional breakdowns and experience higher degree of pains from break-ups and other strains in relationships. I am no exception to that.
时间。在孤独的边缘，最大、最关键的因素是时间。诚然，我可能还没有经历过像其他回帖人那样漫长的时间，但我仍然经历了很多阶段，在这段时间里我改变了很多。对于人们来说的一件事情是，我们是社会中病态的存在，已经到了几乎完全被孤立得不存在的地步（对我们大多数人来说都是如此）。因为我们的个性与记忆包含着陪伴的元素，所以它们都只能以自己的方式形成。在我20多岁的大部分时间里，我都处于中度到极度的孤独之中，我能感觉到童年的记忆和过去几年的记忆之间的差异。后者只在大脑中以一种明显的空虚感存在着，它们仿佛是没有灵魂的，它们之间唯一发光的部分是包含着其他人存在的部分。事实上，因为我自己独处而出现的大部分记忆和经历都可以被一种包括着另一个人的强烈的记忆冲走。但它对我的影响是微妙的。几年过去了，我还没有“完全”意识到我真的过着这样的生活。所以严格地说，这些独处的记忆的存在还比不过和正常人相处的记忆的存在。
情绪。情绪是最难控制和最不可预测的部分。我经历了极度绝望、心碎、抑郁和失眠的痛苦循环，一直到眼泪都难以流出来。考虑到我是孤独的，所以其他的心理问题，如情感脆弱、浪漫主义倾向、自信心低下、过早依恋、没有安全感等，都是难以避免的，并且这些都已经成为我人格的一个组成部分。但这些问题与此无关，所以我将省去所有细节。
关键的一点是，孤独的人在分手和其他关系带来的压力中更容易情绪崩溃，也更容易受到更高程度的痛苦。我也不例外。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Phases. Here's where it gets interesting. When I started this journey I was a novice, and utterly clueless of what lay ahead in future. I was thrown into a situation where inevitably I was forced to live a life that I have never wanted or anticipated. I started with zero experience in this and can now dare to call myself an expert on loneliness, but that doesn't mean I still don't learn a lot about it or about myself everyday. The next few lines are very specific to me and don't generalize well to loners unlike most of my other descxtion. The first phase was of getting used to the new circumstances, and it was easiest of all since it still consisted of my leftover remains from years before and a struggle and hope. The next phase was filled with heavy disappointment caused by failures from former stage and a long period of bereavement for an unrequited love, extreme episodes of depression and the onset of desperation for companionship. The third and very long phase was the peak of this desperation and a sort of final attempt to achieve the normalcy through multiple efforts for securing love or engaging in other social activities which resulted into partial but temporary success. The fourth phase (in so far) has been the acceptance of fate, avoidance of triggers, masking of feelings, and an overall emotional frigidity. And ironically, the closest I have come to feeling "happy" in all these years has been in the current phase.
阶段。这就是有趣的地方了。当我开始这段旅程的时候，我还是个新手，完全不知道未来会发生什么。我陷入了这样一种境地：我不可避免地被迫过着一种我从未想过的生活。我一开始对此毫无经验，现在我已经可以大胆地称自己为孤独专家，但这并不意味着我仍然没有学到很多关于孤独或关于自己的知识。接下来的几行内容对我来说非常具体，不像我的其他描述那样，接下来的几行描述对孤独者来说可以算是概括得很好了。第一阶段是适应新的环境，这是最容易的，它包括着我多年前遗留下来的东西，以及奋斗和希望第二个阶段是充满了沉重的失望，这是由于前一个阶段的失败和长时间的单恋，极端的抑郁症和对陪伴的绝望。第三个漫长的阶段已经是到达了绝望的顶峰，这是为了达到正常状态，通过各种努力来获得爱情或参与其他社会活动的最后一次尝试，这些都取得了部分和暂时的成功。第四个阶段（到目前为止）是接受命运，回避触发的因素，掩饰感情，以及整体所有情感的被冷淡对待。很讽刺的是，这些年来我最接近“幸福”的感觉就是在当前阶段。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
阶段。这就是有趣的地方了。当我开始这段旅程的时候，我还是个新手，完全不知道未来会发生什么。我陷入了这样一种境地：我不可避免地被迫过着一种我从未想过的生活。我一开始对此毫无经验，现在我已经可以大胆地称自己为孤独专家，但这并不意味着我仍然没有学到很多关于孤独或关于自己的知识。接下来的几行内容对我来说非常具体，不像我的其他描述那样，接下来的几行描述对孤独者来说可以算是概括得很好了。第一阶段是适应新的环境，这是最容易的，它包括着我多年前遗留下来的东西，以及奋斗和希望第二个阶段是充满了沉重的失望，这是由于前一个阶段的失败和长时间的单恋，极端的抑郁症和对陪伴的绝望。第三个漫长的阶段已经是到达了绝望的顶峰，这是为了达到正常状态，通过各种努力来获得爱情或参与其他社会活动的最后一次尝试，这些都取得了部分和暂时的成功。第四个阶段（到目前为止）是接受命运，回避触发的因素，掩饰感情，以及整体所有情感的被冷淡对待。很讽刺的是，这些年来我最接近“幸福”的感觉就是在当前阶段。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Changes. Chronic loneliness changes you, at primitive biological level. And I say this not just because I sense it or have experienced it but also because research in neuroscience has shown the occurrences of physical changes in our brains long after we step into adulthood, and possibly lifelong. I still adapt myself everyday to new waves of loneliness and sometimes hard earned lessons need repeated reminding to be fully learnt and put in practice. I have heard that being lonely and single only gets harder as one gets older. So far I have only heard this, but there is little I can do other than mentally preparing myself for the future.
Summary. Life means very different thing to me than to most people. It's less of a pursuit and more of a curiosity and challenge for me. What started out as a mild and later excruciating pain that I wanted to get immediately rid of, has turned into something deep, something meaningful. Loneliness is my most reliable companion now, as it never leaves me alone. I am not depressed anymore, lost may be, but not wallowing in constant agony. And it's only the beginning but I like to think that the worst part of this experience, getting accustomed to it, is over. I am very likely wrong in believing that this was the worst part but making my peace with living this way was crossing of a big hurdle for me. I know that having been made by the genes which are wired for attachment and intimate alliance with someone from the same species, though I can never claim victory over loneliness, it can be soothed and adapted towards an ultimate acceptance. Besides, I am still living in a functioning breathing society of humans, not in a forest, and hopefully the silent passive company of others will be enough consolation for me to survive!
Thank you for your attention.
变化。长期的孤独在你原始的生物水平上做出了一些改变。我这么说不仅是因为我感觉到了或者经历过，而且因为神经科学的研究表明，在我们步入成年期之后，大脑中的物理变化发生的时间很长，甚至可能是终身的。我仍然每天让自己适应新一波的孤独，有时来之不易的教训需要反复提醒，才能充分学习并付诸实践。我听说孤独和单身只会随着年龄的增长而变得更加难以承受。到目前为止，我只听到过这句话，但除了为未来做好心理准备之外，我几乎无能为力。
总结。生活对我来说和对大多数人来说是完全不同的。对我来说，这不是一种追求，而是一种好奇和挑战。一开始是轻微的，后来又有着剧烈的疼痛，我想马上摆脱掉这些，但现在却变成了一些深刻的，有意义的东西。孤独是我现在最可靠的伴侣，因为它从不让我孤独。我不再沮丧了，也许我有时会迷路，但我不再沉溺于无尽的痛苦之中。这只是一个开始，但我想，我已经习惯了这段经历中最糟糕的部分，而且这段最糟糕的部分已经结束了。我很可能错误地认为这是最糟糕的部分，但让我平静地过这种生活对我来说是跨越了一个很大的障碍。我知道，孤独是由与同一物种的人相连的依恋和亲密联系的基因创造出来的，尽管我永远不能声称自己战胜了孤独，但孤独可以被安抚和适应，最终被接受。
而且，我还生活在一个运转良好的人类社会里，而不是在森林中。希望别人安静、被动的陪伴，足够成为我生存下去的安慰！
谢谢大家。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Summary. Life means very different thing to me than to most people. It's less of a pursuit and more of a curiosity and challenge for me. What started out as a mild and later excruciating pain that I wanted to get immediately rid of, has turned into something deep, something meaningful. Loneliness is my most reliable companion now, as it never leaves me alone. I am not depressed anymore, lost may be, but not wallowing in constant agony. And it's only the beginning but I like to think that the worst part of this experience, getting accustomed to it, is over. I am very likely wrong in believing that this was the worst part but making my peace with living this way was crossing of a big hurdle for me. I know that having been made by the genes which are wired for attachment and intimate alliance with someone from the same species, though I can never claim victory over loneliness, it can be soothed and adapted towards an ultimate acceptance. Besides, I am still living in a functioning breathing society of humans, not in a forest, and hopefully the silent passive company of others will be enough consolation for me to survive!
Thank you for your attention.
变化。长期的孤独在你原始的生物水平上做出了一些改变。我这么说不仅是因为我感觉到了或者经历过，而且因为神经科学的研究表明，在我们步入成年期之后，大脑中的物理变化发生的时间很长，甚至可能是终身的。我仍然每天让自己适应新一波的孤独，有时来之不易的教训需要反复提醒，才能充分学习并付诸实践。我听说孤独和单身只会随着年龄的增长而变得更加难以承受。到目前为止，我只听到过这句话，但除了为未来做好心理准备之外，我几乎无能为力。
总结。生活对我来说和对大多数人来说是完全不同的。对我来说，这不是一种追求，而是一种好奇和挑战。一开始是轻微的，后来又有着剧烈的疼痛，我想马上摆脱掉这些，但现在却变成了一些深刻的，有意义的东西。孤独是我现在最可靠的伴侣，因为它从不让我孤独。我不再沮丧了，也许我有时会迷路，但我不再沉溺于无尽的痛苦之中。这只是一个开始，但我想，我已经习惯了这段经历中最糟糕的部分，而且这段最糟糕的部分已经结束了。我很可能错误地认为这是最糟糕的部分，但让我平静地过这种生活对我来说是跨越了一个很大的障碍。我知道，孤独是由与同一物种的人相连的依恋和亲密联系的基因创造出来的，尽管我永远不能声称自己战胜了孤独，但孤独可以被安抚和适应，最终被接受。
而且，我还生活在一个运转良好的人类社会里，而不是在森林中。希望别人安静、被动的陪伴，足够成为我生存下去的安慰！
谢谢大家。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Anonymous
upxed January 7, 2019
Hi there! this is my first answer on Quora and am quite excited. I am writing this anonymously as I do not want my sibling, who is on Quora, to know my situation.
I am 31, male , single and have never been in a relationship. I live with my parents and I feel am extremely blessed to have them.I am an extreme introvert by nature and I take time to make friends. So, how lonely am I? To answer this, I need to confess that I have never thought I could feel so lonely in my life. I have few friends and all of them are quite busy with their life. I hardly speak to them, as all of them are married , have families and are busy with their lives.
I have a 10 to 7 job which am happy with. My daily routine would be this.
Get up at 7,freshen up, exercise for 30 mins, bath, have breakfast and leave for work.
I have few good friends at office, whom I am very close to and whom I share my personal stuff with. I come back home by 9, have dinner and sleep by 11.I have dexed my Facebook profile and hardly get any personal messages on WhatsApp and I started keeping my phone at a distance over the weekends.
匿名
更新于2019年1月7日。
你好！这是我在Quora上的第一个回答，我很兴奋。我是匿名写这封信的，因为我不想让我的兄弟知道我的情况，他也用Quora。
我今年31岁，男性，单身，我从未有过恋爱关系。我和父母住在一起，能有他们我感到非常幸运。我天生非常内向，但我也会花时间交朋友。那么，我有多孤独？为了回答这个问题，我必须承认，我从来没有想过在我的生活中我会感到如此孤独。我几乎没有朋友，他们都很忙。但因为他们都结婚了，有家庭，并且忙于生活，所以我也几乎不和他们说话。
我有一份很满意的从上午10点到晚上7点的工作。我的日常生活就是这样。
7点起床，梳洗一下，锻炼30分钟，洗澡，吃早餐，然后去上班。
我在办公室里很少有关系很近，并且可以分享我私人物品的朋友。我晚上9点回家，11点吃饭，然后睡觉。我已经删除了Facebook上我的个人资料，我也几乎没有在WhatsApp上收到任何个人信息，我开始试着在周末减少手机的使用时间。
upxed January 7, 2019
Hi there! this is my first answer on Quora and am quite excited. I am writing this anonymously as I do not want my sibling, who is on Quora, to know my situation.
I am 31, male , single and have never been in a relationship. I live with my parents and I feel am extremely blessed to have them.I am an extreme introvert by nature and I take time to make friends. So, how lonely am I? To answer this, I need to confess that I have never thought I could feel so lonely in my life. I have few friends and all of them are quite busy with their life. I hardly speak to them, as all of them are married , have families and are busy with their lives.
I have a 10 to 7 job which am happy with. My daily routine would be this.
Get up at 7,freshen up, exercise for 30 mins, bath, have breakfast and leave for work.
I have few good friends at office, whom I am very close to and whom I share my personal stuff with. I come back home by 9, have dinner and sleep by 11.I have dexed my Facebook profile and hardly get any personal messages on WhatsApp and I started keeping my phone at a distance over the weekends.
匿名
更新于2019年1月7日。
你好！这是我在Quora上的第一个回答，我很兴奋。我是匿名写这封信的，因为我不想让我的兄弟知道我的情况，他也用Quora。
我今年31岁，男性，单身，我从未有过恋爱关系。我和父母住在一起，能有他们我感到非常幸运。我天生非常内向，但我也会花时间交朋友。那么，我有多孤独？为了回答这个问题，我必须承认，我从来没有想过在我的生活中我会感到如此孤独。我几乎没有朋友，他们都很忙。但因为他们都结婚了，有家庭，并且忙于生活，所以我也几乎不和他们说话。
我有一份很满意的从上午10点到晚上7点的工作。我的日常生活就是这样。
7点起床，梳洗一下，锻炼30分钟，洗澡，吃早餐，然后去上班。
我在办公室里很少有关系很近，并且可以分享我私人物品的朋友。我晚上9点回家，11点吃饭，然后睡觉。我已经删除了Facebook上我的个人资料，我也几乎没有在WhatsApp上收到任何个人信息，我开始试着在周末减少手机的使用时间。
I have been feeling lonely since few months and gave up making new friends. I feel I am going through a bout of depression and trying to come out of it. I started to learn to live alone and enjoy the solitude. All this started two years ago because of a condition that I got diagnosed with. There's something called peripheral neuropathy(PN - Had never heard of this all my life) which I am fighting with now. There is serious lack of awareness on this and the doctors are clueless if you are non diabetic and have PN. This condition involves excruciating pain in your feet and hands which could become unbearable at times. Pain is the toughest thing to handle and my body started adapting to this pain now.The cause in my case was diagnosed to be probably B12 deficiency and this was after an year of suffering as all the neurologists I met never got me tested for it. So, I had started getting the probable correct treatment after an year and this could mean the damage that's caused to the peripheral nerves could be irreversible to some extent. To give you all an idea, there are more than hundred types of peripheral neuropathy where there can be more than 20 causes and in 50% of the cases, the cause cannot be found(Idiopathic). Its been 8 months since I started this treatment and I could notice a bit of improvement and I hope I will get more better. The treatment regimen even with the B12 deficiency is highly uncertain, means, not the same regimen works for everyone.
So, what am I doing to avoid feeling lonely. I started reading books, watching TV series(Am in love with Downton Abbey which am currently watching), started travelling Solo(Been to a different country last month), planning to start writing(I just began!) and would start learning Guitar next month. I have also started designing a webpage where I want to create awareness on PN with B12D.
Final words here, I did not exactly let my family know the physical pain that I am going through. I do not want to see the pain in their eyes. I am going to fight this out and will never give up.
几个月以来我一直感到孤独，我放弃了交新朋友。我觉得我正在经历着抑郁，并试图摆脱它。我开始学会独自生活，享受孤独。这一切始于两年前，因为我被诊断出患有一种疾病。有一种叫做周围神经病变（简称PN-我一辈子都没听说过）的东西，我现在正在与之抗争。如果你是非糖尿病患者并且有PN的话，医生对此也没有很足够的认识。这种情况下你的脚和手会非常疼，有时甚至会变得难以忍受。疼痛是最难处理的事情，但我的身体现在已经开始适应这种疼痛了。我患这个病的原因可能是B12缺乏，因为我遇到的所有神经科医生都没有给我做过这种检查，所以这是在我经历了一年的疼痛之后才知道的。因此，一年后我才开始接受正确的治疗，这可能意味着对周围神经造成的损伤在某种程度上是不可逆的。告诉大家一个数据，周围神经病变有超过100种类型、20多个原因，在50%的情况下，病因往往无法找到（因为周围神经病变有特发性）。从我开始治疗到现在已经8个月了，我可以明显地感受到一些改善，我希望我可以变得更好。但是即使是B12缺乏症，治疗方案也是非常不确定的，这意味着，不是每个人都适用同一种方案。
So, what am I doing to avoid feeling lonely. I started reading books, watching TV series(Am in love with Downton Abbey which am currently watching), started travelling Solo(Been to a different country last month), planning to start writing(I just began!) and would start learning Guitar next month. I have also started designing a webpage where I want to create awareness on PN with B12D.
Final words here, I did not exactly let my family know the physical pain that I am going through. I do not want to see the pain in their eyes. I am going to fight this out and will never give up.
几个月以来我一直感到孤独，我放弃了交新朋友。我觉得我正在经历着抑郁，并试图摆脱它。我开始学会独自生活，享受孤独。这一切始于两年前，因为我被诊断出患有一种疾病。有一种叫做周围神经病变（简称PN-我一辈子都没听说过）的东西，我现在正在与之抗争。如果你是非糖尿病患者并且有PN的话，医生对此也没有很足够的认识。这种情况下你的脚和手会非常疼，有时甚至会变得难以忍受。疼痛是最难处理的事情，但我的身体现在已经开始适应这种疼痛了。我患这个病的原因可能是B12缺乏，因为我遇到的所有神经科医生都没有给我做过这种检查，所以这是在我经历了一年的疼痛之后才知道的。因此，一年后我才开始接受正确的治疗，这可能意味着对周围神经造成的损伤在某种程度上是不可逆的。告诉大家一个数据，周围神经病变有超过100种类型、20多个原因，在50%的情况下，病因往往无法找到（因为周围神经病变有特发性）。从我开始治疗到现在已经8个月了，我可以明显地感受到一些改善，我希望我可以变得更好。但是即使是B12缺乏症，治疗方案也是非常不确定的，这意味着，不是每个人都适用同一种方案。
Anonymous
Answered July 25, 2018
I AM EXTREMELY LONELY in my marriage. And I don't know whether this is because of cultural differences.
I am married to a person from another culture. I am Asian and my husband is European. We were vacationing in my home country. I was pregnant while we were on vacation. He was supposed to leave earlier than me back to Sweden. So when we went to the doctor in my home country and found out that the fetus' heartbeat stopped and I was going to miscarry anytime soon, I felt so sad and depressed.
He was about to leave the next day. I wanted him to change his ticket and stay longer with me as I needed him. But he said he couldn't. He had this schedule with his ex (he was supposed to have the children with him that week). He has always been afraid of his ex. She uses him. Whenever she has an emergency, she sends their children to him and he takes them with no question. But when I was going through this terrible time he could not be with me because his fear for his ex is more than his love for me.
匿名
回答于2018年7月25日。
我的婚姻生活非常孤独。我不知道这是不是因为文化差异而造成的。
我嫁给了另一种文化的人。我是亚洲人，我丈夫是欧洲人。我们在我的祖国度假。在我们度假时我发现我怀孕了。但是因为他需要比我早一点离开这儿回到瑞典，所以我们就在我的祖国看了医生，然后发现胎儿心跳停止了，我很快就要流产了，我感到非常难过和沮丧。
他第二天就要走了。我想让他换张机票，我希望他能在我需要他的时候多待一会儿。但他说他不能。他和他的前女友有一些事情（他本来该在那周带孩子的）。他总是很害怕他的前女友。她利用他。每当她有急事的时候，她就把他们的孩子送到他那里，他便毫无疑问地会把孩子带走。但当我经历这可怕的时刻时，因为他对前女友的恐惧比他对我的爱更重要，所以他不会陪着我。
Answered July 25, 2018
I AM EXTREMELY LONELY in my marriage. And I don't know whether this is because of cultural differences.
I am married to a person from another culture. I am Asian and my husband is European. We were vacationing in my home country. I was pregnant while we were on vacation. He was supposed to leave earlier than me back to Sweden. So when we went to the doctor in my home country and found out that the fetus' heartbeat stopped and I was going to miscarry anytime soon, I felt so sad and depressed.
He was about to leave the next day. I wanted him to change his ticket and stay longer with me as I needed him. But he said he couldn't. He had this schedule with his ex (he was supposed to have the children with him that week). He has always been afraid of his ex. She uses him. Whenever she has an emergency, she sends their children to him and he takes them with no question. But when I was going through this terrible time he could not be with me because his fear for his ex is more than his love for me.
匿名
回答于2018年7月25日。
我的婚姻生活非常孤独。我不知道这是不是因为文化差异而造成的。
我嫁给了另一种文化的人。我是亚洲人，我丈夫是欧洲人。我们在我的祖国度假。在我们度假时我发现我怀孕了。但是因为他需要比我早一点离开这儿回到瑞典，所以我们就在我的祖国看了医生，然后发现胎儿心跳停止了，我很快就要流产了，我感到非常难过和沮丧。
他第二天就要走了。我想让他换张机票，我希望他能在我需要他的时候多待一会儿。但他说他不能。他和他的前女友有一些事情（他本来该在那周带孩子的）。他总是很害怕他的前女友。她利用他。每当她有急事的时候，她就把他们的孩子送到他那里，他便毫无疑问地会把孩子带走。但当我经历这可怕的时刻时，因为他对前女友的恐惧比他对我的爱更重要，所以他不会陪着我。
So he went back to Sweden and the next thing he does is go to a party with his kids and cousins. I felt so alone and sad as I was bleeding terribly and was in pain. I felt so lonely.
Although I felt so sad, I couldn't do anything about it. I was helpless.
Then something else happened. I was supposed to go back to Sweden on the 6th of August. He calls me and tells me to come after two weeks (17th August) because his children will be there till then. He gave me money for a D&C if I was having any complications. But since it came out naturally, I didn't use that money. He asked me to use that money to come later.
He didn't want me to be around his kids when I was grieving. I really needed him and was looking forward to seeing him again on the 6th but he was more concerned about his children. He tries to say otherwise but deep down I know the real reason. He keeps asking me to come back later although I tell him I prefer coming earlier
This has happened before. Last Christmas, I needed to have an abortion for medical reasons at 14 weeks as the fetus was dying and I did not want to carry a dead child. It was during Christmas. I told him I am depressed and too sad that I don't want to see any Christmas decorations in the house. But the more he overdid it as he did not want to make his kids feel bad in any way because of what had happened. They even went to my mother-in-law's place to have a Christmas party for the kids and his brother's family while I was crying alone at home.
So this is why I feel so alone Especially the fact that he wants me to come later so that it won't distrupted his children in anyway makes me so sad and depressed. AND ALONE!
Thank you for reading!
所以他回到了瑞典，之后他要做的就是和他的孩子以及堂兄弟们去参加一个聚会。因为我流着可怕的血和承受着痛苦，我感到非常的孤独和悲伤。我感到很孤独。
虽然我感到很伤心，但我却无能为力。我很无助。
然后发生了另一件事。我本该在8月6日回瑞典的。他打电话给我，告诉我两周后（8月17日）再来，因为他的孩子们到那时才会走。如果我有任何并发症，他会给我钱做刮宫手术。但因为是自然流产的，我也就不用那笔钱了。但他还是让我用完那笔钱以后再回来。
我伤心的时候他不想我出现在他孩子身边。但是我真的很需要他，我也很期待6号能见到他，但他更关心他的孩子。他想说一些别的理由，但我心里知道真正的原因。尽管我告诉他我宁愿早点来，但是他还是一直叫我晚点回来。
这种情况以前也发生过。去年圣诞节，由于医学原因，我需要在14周时结束妊娠，因为胎儿快死了，我不想怀着一个死去的孩子。那是在圣诞节期间。我告诉他我很沮丧，我太伤心了，我不想在家里看到任何圣诞装饰。但他做得过分，他不想让他的孩子因为所发生的事情而感到难过。他们甚至去我婆婆家为孩子们和他弟弟的家人举办圣诞派对，而我独自在家哭泣。
所以这就是为什么我感到如此孤独，尤其是，事实上，他希望我晚一点来（的真实原因是），这样就不会影响到他的孩子们，这让我非常伤心和沮丧以及孤独！
谢谢你的阅读！
Although I felt so sad, I couldn't do anything about it. I was helpless.
Then something else happened. I was supposed to go back to Sweden on the 6th of August. He calls me and tells me to come after two weeks (17th August) because his children will be there till then. He gave me money for a D&C if I was having any complications. But since it came out naturally, I didn't use that money. He asked me to use that money to come later.
He didn't want me to be around his kids when I was grieving. I really needed him and was looking forward to seeing him again on the 6th but he was more concerned about his children. He tries to say otherwise but deep down I know the real reason. He keeps asking me to come back later although I tell him I prefer coming earlier
This has happened before. Last Christmas, I needed to have an abortion for medical reasons at 14 weeks as the fetus was dying and I did not want to carry a dead child. It was during Christmas. I told him I am depressed and too sad that I don't want to see any Christmas decorations in the house. But the more he overdid it as he did not want to make his kids feel bad in any way because of what had happened. They even went to my mother-in-law's place to have a Christmas party for the kids and his brother's family while I was crying alone at home.
So this is why I feel so alone Especially the fact that he wants me to come later so that it won't distrupted his children in anyway makes me so sad and depressed. AND ALONE!
Thank you for reading!
所以他回到了瑞典，之后他要做的就是和他的孩子以及堂兄弟们去参加一个聚会。因为我流着可怕的血和承受着痛苦，我感到非常的孤独和悲伤。我感到很孤独。
虽然我感到很伤心，但我却无能为力。我很无助。
然后发生了另一件事。我本该在8月6日回瑞典的。他打电话给我，告诉我两周后（8月17日）再来，因为他的孩子们到那时才会走。如果我有任何并发症，他会给我钱做刮宫手术。但因为是自然流产的，我也就不用那笔钱了。但他还是让我用完那笔钱以后再回来。
我伤心的时候他不想我出现在他孩子身边。但是我真的很需要他，我也很期待6号能见到他，但他更关心他的孩子。他想说一些别的理由，但我心里知道真正的原因。尽管我告诉他我宁愿早点来，但是他还是一直叫我晚点回来。
这种情况以前也发生过。去年圣诞节，由于医学原因，我需要在14周时结束妊娠，因为胎儿快死了，我不想怀着一个死去的孩子。那是在圣诞节期间。我告诉他我很沮丧，我太伤心了，我不想在家里看到任何圣诞装饰。但他做得过分，他不想让他的孩子因为所发生的事情而感到难过。他们甚至去我婆婆家为孩子们和他弟弟的家人举办圣诞派对，而我独自在家哭泣。
所以这就是为什么我感到如此孤独，尤其是，事实上，他希望我晚一点来（的真实原因是），这样就不会影响到他的孩子们，这让我非常伤心和沮丧以及孤独！
谢谢你的阅读！
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