有什么特权是绝大多数人拥有却意识不到的？
正文翻译
What is something most people don’t realize is a privilege?
有什么特权是绝大多数人拥有却意识不到的？
What is something most people don’t realize is a privilege?
有什么特权是绝大多数人拥有却意识不到的？
评论翻译
InternationalGas2021
To have people around who can and will help
身边有可以并且愿意向你提供帮助的人
To have people around who can and will help
身边有可以并且愿意向你提供帮助的人
sezah
This has impacted me in so many ways. I didn’t qualify for enough in student loans/government assistance because it was just assumed my parents were giving me hundreds a month in assistance, so that imaginary amount was deducted from my benefits.
这在很多方面都对我造成了深远的影响。我在学生贷款/政府援助项目上没能通过审批，因为他们认为我的家人每个月会给我好几百美元，所以这份不存在的钱就被从我的补助中砍掉了。
This has impacted me in so many ways. I didn’t qualify for enough in student loans/government assistance because it was just assumed my parents were giving me hundreds a month in assistance, so that imaginary amount was deducted from my benefits.
这在很多方面都对我造成了深远的影响。我在学生贷款/政府援助项目上没能通过审批，因为他们认为我的家人每个月会给我好几百美元，所以这份不存在的钱就被从我的补助中砍掉了。
TheOneKMC
IM NOT ALONE! This has hurt me soooo much, I literally got kicked out at 18 and live on my own. But because my Dad earns 170k/yr I missed most aid. Apparently he is expected to give me 20k/yr. Well fuck.
我不是一个人！这让我太——难过了，我真的是在18岁那年就被踢出去自己求生了。但是因为我父亲每年挣17万，绝大多数的补助我都选不上。显然他本来应该每年给我两万。他妈的。
IM NOT ALONE! This has hurt me soooo much, I literally got kicked out at 18 and live on my own. But because my Dad earns 170k/yr I missed most aid. Apparently he is expected to give me 20k/yr. Well fuck.
我不是一个人！这让我太——难过了，我真的是在18岁那年就被踢出去自己求生了。但是因为我父亲每年挣17万，绝大多数的补助我都选不上。显然他本来应该每年给我两万。他妈的。
mycologyqueen
Why is no one explaining this to you guys that you CAN and should have gotten it??? I feel like school financial counselors are doing a piss poor job overall.
为什呢没有人跟你们解释过，你们可以并且就应该得到援助？我感觉学校的财政顾问真的是占着茅坑不拉屎。
Why is no one explaining this to you guys that you CAN and should have gotten it??? I feel like school financial counselors are doing a piss poor job overall.
为什呢没有人跟你们解释过，你们可以并且就应该得到援助？我感觉学校的财政顾问真的是占着茅坑不拉屎。
NeonHairbrush
This. At the worst point in my life, when I was trying to leave a toxic job but was going to lose my housing because of it, my brother stepped up and let me live at his place while I looked for work. A few years earlier, he'd spent his last few Euros to show up at my door with broken glasses and no money for food or transportation back home, and I took care of him for a few weeks and sent him back with some cash to tide him over, and new glasses. Now, he and I are both doing well for ourselves, but I'd never have gotten out of the hole without him.
没错。在我生命中最糟糕的时候，我想要退出一份糟糕的工作但是会因此失去我的住房的时候，我的兄弟站了出来，在我找下一份工作的时候让我住在他的家里。几年之前，他花光了自己最后的几块钱，戴着碎了的眼镜，没有吃饭的钱也没有坐车回家的钱，出现在了我的家门口。我照顾了他几周，给了他一点现金接济他，还给他配了一副新眼镜。现在，我和他都过得非常好，但我要是没有他的话永远都不可能走出那个工作。
This. At the worst point in my life, when I was trying to leave a toxic job but was going to lose my housing because of it, my brother stepped up and let me live at his place while I looked for work. A few years earlier, he'd spent his last few Euros to show up at my door with broken glasses and no money for food or transportation back home, and I took care of him for a few weeks and sent him back with some cash to tide him over, and new glasses. Now, he and I are both doing well for ourselves, but I'd never have gotten out of the hole without him.
没错。在我生命中最糟糕的时候，我想要退出一份糟糕的工作但是会因此失去我的住房的时候，我的兄弟站了出来，在我找下一份工作的时候让我住在他的家里。几年之前，他花光了自己最后的几块钱，戴着碎了的眼镜，没有吃饭的钱也没有坐车回家的钱，出现在了我的家门口。我照顾了他几周，给了他一点现金接济他，还给他配了一副新眼镜。现在，我和他都过得非常好，但我要是没有他的话永远都不可能走出那个工作。
Now a friend is going through something similar - reduced hours at work due to the pandemic, no family support because they just came out as non-binary, can't afford rent and their debit card declined on two days worth of groceries - and I felt so good about being able to send them enough money to live on for a month, without it really affecting my quality of life. They also know they can show up at my door and live in my spare room and my boss will give them a job, if they end up deciding to move to my city.
现在我有个朋友也正在经历类似的事情——因为疫情工作时长变少了，因为是性少数所以没有家人的支持，支付不起房租并且银行卡只能买得起两天的菜——我很高兴自己能够给他们足够的钱让他们过一个月的生活，而不至于影响我自己的生活质量。他们也知道假如他们决定来我住的城市生活的话，他们随时都可以敲我家的门，住在我家空余的房间里，并且我的上司也会给他们一份工作的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
现在我有个朋友也正在经历类似的事情——因为疫情工作时长变少了，因为是性少数所以没有家人的支持，支付不起房租并且银行卡只能买得起两天的菜——我很高兴自己能够给他们足够的钱让他们过一个月的生活，而不至于影响我自己的生活质量。他们也知道假如他们决定来我住的城市生活的话，他们随时都可以敲我家的门，住在我家空余的房间里，并且我的上司也会给他们一份工作的。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
TonyMoyArts
You are a good one Charlie Brown....I had a friend like that. I was down in the dumps, Girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend/room mate at the time, contract didn't get renewed on a job, scraping together about $50 a month for groceries and such after paying my bills. He "found" some gift cards to help me out, and let me crash on his couch when I needed to. Helped me through a really tough period.
你真是个查理布朗一样的好人……我也有个类似的朋友。当时我陷入了人生的低谷，我女朋友出轨和我最好的朋友/当时的室友好上了，工作合同没续约，付完账单之后到处拼凑出50美元来买一个月的菜。我的朋友“找到”了几张超市礼品卡帮我的忙，并且让我需要的时候在他家的沙发住。帮我度过了一段非常艰难的时期。
You are a good one Charlie Brown....I had a friend like that. I was down in the dumps, Girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend/room mate at the time, contract didn't get renewed on a job, scraping together about $50 a month for groceries and such after paying my bills. He "found" some gift cards to help me out, and let me crash on his couch when I needed to. Helped me through a really tough period.
你真是个查理布朗一样的好人……我也有个类似的朋友。当时我陷入了人生的低谷，我女朋友出轨和我最好的朋友/当时的室友好上了，工作合同没续约，付完账单之后到处拼凑出50美元来买一个月的菜。我的朋友“找到”了几张超市礼品卡帮我的忙，并且让我需要的时候在他家的沙发住。帮我度过了一段非常艰难的时期。
A handful of years later, he was laid off from a dying industry and my company was starting to take off. I hired him and retrained him as a PM in the tech industry. But we've lost track of how many times we've come through for the other during tough times. Not that what we do what we do to look for repayment, but life has a way sometimes of keeping the karma flowing.
过了几年，他被一个即将衰败的行业辞退了，而我的公司正在起步。我雇佣了他，并且把他重新培训成了一名科技行业的产品经理。我们已经记不清在彼此陷入艰难困顿的时候我们互相帮助过多少次了。我们这么做并不是为了要求回报，而是生活自己就会让因果循环不断地流动。
过了几年，他被一个即将衰败的行业辞退了，而我的公司正在起步。我雇佣了他，并且把他重新培训成了一名科技行业的产品经理。我们已经记不清在彼此陷入艰难困顿的时候我们互相帮助过多少次了。我们这么做并不是为了要求回报，而是生活自己就会让因果循环不断地流动。
again.... you're one of the good ones.
但仍然，你是好人。
但仍然，你是好人。
NeonHairbrush
I've watched this friend overcome alcoholism and depression, get treatment, deal with toxic family bullshit, and move to a new city with a lifestyle that suits them better. They just interviewed for and got offered a new job (where the interviewer recognized them from online content they've done) where they could be open about their identity at work. I'm not about to stand by and watch my friend lose all that progress over a rough patch during a pandemic.
我见证了我的这个朋友战胜酒瘾和抑郁，得到了治疗，和家庭的各种烂事儿打交道，然后搬到了一个更适合他的生活方式的新城市。他刚接受过一份采访，并且拿到了一份新工作（采访者称赞了他做的互联网内容），在那里他可以自由地公开自己的取向。我不会在疫情期间站在一旁看着我的朋友因为一段弯路就失去所有的成就的。
I've watched this friend overcome alcoholism and depression, get treatment, deal with toxic family bullshit, and move to a new city with a lifestyle that suits them better. They just interviewed for and got offered a new job (where the interviewer recognized them from online content they've done) where they could be open about their identity at work. I'm not about to stand by and watch my friend lose all that progress over a rough patch during a pandemic.
我见证了我的这个朋友战胜酒瘾和抑郁，得到了治疗，和家庭的各种烂事儿打交道，然后搬到了一个更适合他的生活方式的新城市。他刚接受过一份采访，并且拿到了一份新工作（采访者称赞了他做的互联网内容），在那里他可以自由地公开自己的取向。我不会在疫情期间站在一旁看着我的朋友因为一段弯路就失去所有的成就的。
Informal_Side
Running water 24/7 and most of 365 days.
一年365天每天24小时都有的自来水。
Running water 24/7 and most of 365 days.
一年365天每天24小时都有的自来水。
Stable electricity - the kind that doesn't shoot lightbulbs out of their sockets.
稳定的供电——不是那种会把电灯泡从槽里崩出来的供电。
稳定的供电——不是那种会把电灯泡从槽里崩出来的供电。
Sane traffic patterns.
符合常识的交通。
符合常识的交通。
Mostly clean fresh air.
基本上干净的新鲜空气。
基本上干净的新鲜空气。
Stocked shelves in the supermarket.
超市里塞得满满的货架
超市里塞得满满的货架
Sharp_Commission128
Been to Nigeria and Sierra Leone and it lacks all of this.
我去过尼日利亚和塞拉利昂，那里缺少这一切。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Been to Nigeria and Sierra Leone and it lacks all of this.
我去过尼日利亚和塞拉利昂，那里缺少这一切。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Has water, isnt always running.
有水，但并不是一直有水。
有水，但并不是一直有水。
Had electric that cuts out often.
有电，但经常会断。
有电，但经常会断。
Traffic is nightmarish and no one fears death
交通就是噩梦，根本没人怕死
交通就是噩梦，根本没人怕死
Air smells like well turds
空气闻起来像屎
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
空气闻起来像屎
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Supermarkets are hit and miss.
逛超市像打地鼠
逛超市像打地鼠
Amazing shwarma and KFC though
但沙威玛和肯德基倒是贼好吃
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
但沙威玛和肯德基倒是贼好吃
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
mjaugust1
Sane traffic patterns.
符合常识的交通
Sane traffic patterns.
符合常识的交通
So true. When I visited Istanbul and Bangkok, I realized very quickly that driving lanes are optional. It’s like, you can drive here, but you don’t have to do so.
太真实了。我去伊斯坦布尔和曼谷的时候，我很快就发现那里的车道是可选项。就像，你可以按照车道开车，但你不一定要这么做。
太真实了。我去伊斯坦布尔和曼谷的时候，我很快就发现那里的车道是可选项。就像，你可以按照车道开车，但你不一定要这么做。
IllegallyBored
This is making me laugh so bad, because I went to Bangkok a couple of years ago and my sister and I couldn't believe how well disciplined the traffic was! 2e actually took photos of cars stopping a decent distance away from each other because we were so happy to see it. We're from India. Traffic rules are very different here.
这让我笑的太厉害了，因为我几年前和妹妹一起去了曼谷，当时我都无法相信那里的交通有多守纪律！我们甚至拍了两辆车礼貌地彼此让开一大段距离的照片，因为我们见到这种景象真的是太开心了。我们来自印度。这里的交通规则非常不一样。
This is making me laugh so bad, because I went to Bangkok a couple of years ago and my sister and I couldn't believe how well disciplined the traffic was! 2e actually took photos of cars stopping a decent distance away from each other because we were so happy to see it. We're from India. Traffic rules are very different here.
这让我笑的太厉害了，因为我几年前和妹妹一起去了曼谷，当时我都无法相信那里的交通有多守纪律！我们甚至拍了两辆车礼貌地彼此让开一大段距离的照片，因为我们见到这种景象真的是太开心了。我们来自印度。这里的交通规则非常不一样。
Beloay
Being able to just quit a job you don’t like
有能力退出一份你不喜欢的工作。
Being able to just quit a job you don’t like
有能力退出一份你不喜欢的工作。
Elliot_Phantomhive5
Having two good parents
有一对好父母
Having two good parents
有一对好父母
what_the_a
Adding to that -- a stable and safe home life. Now that I'm an adult, I realized how lucky I was to have parents who were good and loving but also prioritized a safe, stable, calm home environment. They actually thought about creating a warm safe environment, and I didn't know that was a thing you had to consciously do until I got to adulthood. They never fought in front of us, rarely lost their tempers with us, stuck to a routine and structure to where there were always hot meals, clean clothes, a clean home -- and they let us have our own space to just relax and decompress. I noticed in my teen years that certain friends always wanted to come to my house to hang out which I thought was weird because my house was kinda boring -- but now looking back I can see that they liked the safe calm atmosphere at my house and wanted to some come relax. My parents consciously chose to make our home a safe retreat from the world and I'm so grateful.
补充一点——一个稳定，安全的家庭生活。在我成年之后，我发现自己有一对关爱自己的好父母，以及一份安全，稳定，令人舒服的家庭环境有多么幸运。他们会认真思考如何创造一个温暖安全的环境，而我知道成年之后才意识到这种事情是需要你有意识地去做的。他们从来没有当我们的面吵过架，很少在我们的面前发脾气，保持规律的生活，保证我们永远有热乎的饭吃，有干净的衣服穿，有干净的家庭——他们还让我们拥有自己的空间来放松、解压。我在青少年时期发现有一些朋友经常想要来到我的房间放松，我觉得挺怪的，因为我家挺无聊的——但现在回忆起来，我意识到他们是喜欢我家里安全、稳定的环境，并且想要放松一点。我的父母有意识地选择让我们的家庭成为世界之外的一个安全的避风港，对此我非常感激。
Adding to that -- a stable and safe home life. Now that I'm an adult, I realized how lucky I was to have parents who were good and loving but also prioritized a safe, stable, calm home environment. They actually thought about creating a warm safe environment, and I didn't know that was a thing you had to consciously do until I got to adulthood. They never fought in front of us, rarely lost their tempers with us, stuck to a routine and structure to where there were always hot meals, clean clothes, a clean home -- and they let us have our own space to just relax and decompress. I noticed in my teen years that certain friends always wanted to come to my house to hang out which I thought was weird because my house was kinda boring -- but now looking back I can see that they liked the safe calm atmosphere at my house and wanted to some come relax. My parents consciously chose to make our home a safe retreat from the world and I'm so grateful.
补充一点——一个稳定，安全的家庭生活。在我成年之后，我发现自己有一对关爱自己的好父母，以及一份安全，稳定，令人舒服的家庭环境有多么幸运。他们会认真思考如何创造一个温暖安全的环境，而我知道成年之后才意识到这种事情是需要你有意识地去做的。他们从来没有当我们的面吵过架，很少在我们的面前发脾气，保持规律的生活，保证我们永远有热乎的饭吃，有干净的衣服穿，有干净的家庭——他们还让我们拥有自己的空间来放松、解压。我在青少年时期发现有一些朋友经常想要来到我的房间放松，我觉得挺怪的，因为我家挺无聊的——但现在回忆起来，我意识到他们是喜欢我家里安全、稳定的环境，并且想要放松一点。我的父母有意识地选择让我们的家庭成为世界之外的一个安全的避风港，对此我非常感激。
I've met so many people over the years who never had the ability to relax at home (ranging from just really active schedules where they were shuffled from activity to activity and rest and relaxation wasn't prioritized, to people who had really turbulent abusive homes) and now as adults they have a really hard time relaxing or cultivating a recharging atmosphere at home. I literally had to lay out some steps for my friend of things you can do to make your home more comfortable and relaxing because they just... didn't know how to do it.
我在这几年中遇到过太多完全没有在家里放松的能力的人（有的是时间表实在太满了，一项活动到另一项活动，休息和放松并没有放在优先位置，也有的是家里实在太动荡不安），他们成年之后很难在家里放松，或者在家里培养出一种能给自己力量的氛围。我真的得给我的朋友们列出一些步骤来，好让他们的家里更舒服、更放松，因为他们就是根本……不知道该怎么做。
我在这几年中遇到过太多完全没有在家里放松的能力的人（有的是时间表实在太满了，一项活动到另一项活动，休息和放松并没有放在优先位置，也有的是家里实在太动荡不安），他们成年之后很难在家里放松，或者在家里培养出一种能给自己力量的氛围。我真的得给我的朋友们列出一些步骤来，好让他们的家里更舒服、更放松，因为他们就是根本……不知道该怎么做。
Wow, so many responses! I appreciate everyone chiming in and to those who said they wished for a home like mine, I'm sorry you didn't get it growing up. Although I think I was privileged to have my home life, I do think everyone deserves a stable and safe home. I hope you can find a way to give yourself everything you needed as a kid now as an adult.
哇，好多回帖！我感激每一个发帖的人，对那些提到他们也希望拥有我这样的家庭的人，我很遗憾你们在长大的时候没有这样的家庭。尽管我认为我的家庭生活是比较优越的，但我也认为每个人都应该拥有一个稳定、安全的家庭。我希望你们现在成年之后，可以找到一条能让自己像个孩子一样满足的道路。
哇，好多回帖！我感激每一个发帖的人，对那些提到他们也希望拥有我这样的家庭的人，我很遗憾你们在长大的时候没有这样的家庭。尽管我认为我的家庭生活是比较优越的，但我也认为每个人都应该拥有一个稳定、安全的家庭。我希望你们现在成年之后，可以找到一条能让自己像个孩子一样满足的道路。
Many people asked what the steps were I shared with my friend. I've made a list of those and a few other thoughts I had -- keep in mind, these were my tips about creating a nurturing environment for yourself at home. I'm not a parent, so I'm in no position to dole out parenting advice, but I have added a few things my parents did that when I look back I can see were highly beneficial.
很多人问我和朋友分享的那些步骤是什么。我列了个清单，里面也加上了别的想法——记住，这是我的制造一个让你自己在家里觉得舒服的环境的方法。我不是个家长，所以我也没有立场去给出育儿的建议，但我也加了一些父母做过的，现在我回忆起来觉得很有用的事情。
很多人问我和朋友分享的那些步骤是什么。我列了个清单，里面也加上了别的想法——记住，这是我的制造一个让你自己在家里觉得舒服的环境的方法。我不是个家长，所以我也没有立场去给出育儿的建议，但我也加了一些父母做过的，现在我回忆起来觉得很有用的事情。
Sorry, it's going to be long but I really wanted to share as much of my perspective as I could for those who didn't get to experienced this first hand. I'm sure there are a bunch of other things I'm forgetting, but these are kinda the big differences I saw between my house and others. Please feel free to send me a message if you have more questions.
很抱歉，可能会很长，但我真的希望对那些没能第一手经历过这些的人能分享多少就分享多少。我确定会有很多其他东西我想不起来，但这些是我在我自己的房间和别人的房间之间发现的最大的不同。假如你有其他问题的话，请随意发消息给我。
很抱歉，可能会很长，但我真的希望对那些没能第一手经历过这些的人能分享多少就分享多少。我确定会有很多其他东西我想不起来，但这些是我在我自己的房间和别人的房间之间发现的最大的不同。假如你有其他问题的话，请随意发消息给我。
This might be obvious but I was surprised to find wasn't for some people -- decorate your home with things you actually like! Don't worry about trends or what others think is cool. If Disney makes you feel happy, make your home a Disney paradise. You deserve to find your space happy and inspiring to you. If your home is full of things you like, you'll want to be there. Also, get yourself some cozy throw blankets and nice candles. Hang curtains, even if they're not expensive. The small creature comforts although not absolutely necessary for staying alive will make your environment feel nesty and cozy.
这个可能很显然，但令我惊讶的是有一些人意识不到——用你真的喜欢的东西装饰你的房间！别担心潮流啊，其他人觉得酷不酷之类的想法。假如迪士尼让你觉得开心，那就让你的家变成一个迪士尼天堂。你理应让你的家看起来令你开心、给你带来启迪。假如你的家里到处都是你喜欢的东西，你就会愿意在家里呆着。还有，给自己整点儿舒服的毯子和好的蜡烛。悬挂式的窗帘，不贵的也行。这些小的、生理性的舒适感尽管并不是存活下去所必须的，但却能让你的环境像家一样舒适。
这个可能很显然，但令我惊讶的是有一些人意识不到——用你真的喜欢的东西装饰你的房间！别担心潮流啊，其他人觉得酷不酷之类的想法。假如迪士尼让你觉得开心，那就让你的家变成一个迪士尼天堂。你理应让你的家看起来令你开心、给你带来启迪。假如你的家里到处都是你喜欢的东西，你就会愿意在家里呆着。还有，给自己整点儿舒服的毯子和好的蜡烛。悬挂式的窗帘，不贵的也行。这些小的、生理性的舒适感尽管并不是存活下去所必须的，但却能让你的环境像家一样舒适。
Keep your home tidy and organized to the point that its comfy and functional, but not to the point that its another area of stress. Despite my awesome home life, my mom was extremely clean and I have ADHD and am just naturally a bit messier -- I struggled with guilt about it and beating myself up for not being able to keep up the way she did. Finally over the last few years I realized I was making things stressful for myself in my own home when I didn't need to at all. Keeping it clean and safe is important, but just do enough to make it feel cared for -- remember your home is there to serve you, not be a showroom.
让你的家保持整洁、有序，足够舒适并且不影响生活，但是不要干净到成为你的另一种压力来源。尽管我的家庭生活很棒，但我的妈妈是个非常爱干净的人，而我有多动症，所以就很自然地会把东西弄得乱一点——我一直都很有罪恶感，并且因为不能让自己和她一样整洁而打我自己。最终在最近这几年我在意识到，我在给我自己施加太大的压力，我在自己的家里完全不需要这种想法。保持干净卫生重要，但只要做到感觉有人打理就足够了——记住你的家是给你服务的，不是展厅。
让你的家保持整洁、有序，足够舒适并且不影响生活，但是不要干净到成为你的另一种压力来源。尽管我的家庭生活很棒，但我的妈妈是个非常爱干净的人，而我有多动症，所以就很自然地会把东西弄得乱一点——我一直都很有罪恶感，并且因为不能让自己和她一样整洁而打我自己。最终在最近这几年我在意识到，我在给我自己施加太大的压力，我在自己的家里完全不需要这种想法。保持干净卫生重要，但只要做到感觉有人打理就足够了——记住你的家是给你服务的，不是展厅。
Dim lights in the evenings, light candles, play peaceful music. Also great if you have kids -- my mom helped us wind down in the evenings by adjusting the atmosphere. She'd turn down a lot of the lights, start the dishwasher which kinda signified the end of the day, play some chill music, turned off TV time and we moved onto quiet activities like reading, coloring, etc. It eased us into bedtime in a way that felt natural and not like an abrupt end to the day. I've started to do this as an adult and it makes things peaceful.
夜晚的微光、蜡烛，播放一些平和的音乐。假如你有孩子，这招也很有用——我的妈妈会通过调整气氛的方式过度到夜晚。她会关掉很多灯光，打开洗碗机，这标志着一天到了结束，播放一些安静的音乐，关掉电视，然后我们去做一些安静的事情，比如读书，绘画之类的。这会让我们更加轻松自然地进入睡眠，而不像一天唐突地结束。成年之后我也开始这么做，这让我的生活变得祥和。
夜晚的微光、蜡烛，播放一些平和的音乐。假如你有孩子，这招也很有用——我的妈妈会通过调整气氛的方式过度到夜晚。她会关掉很多灯光，打开洗碗机，这标志着一天到了结束，播放一些安静的音乐，关掉电视，然后我们去做一些安静的事情，比如读书，绘画之类的。这会让我们更加轻松自然地进入睡眠，而不像一天唐突地结束。成年之后我也开始这么做，这让我的生活变得祥和。
Use the good stuff. Don't buy things you like and then be afraid to use them. Things are meant to be used and to serve you -- use the nice dishes, the nice soaps, the fancy pillows. You're deserving of that!
用好东西。别买了你喜欢的东西之后不敢用。东西就是用来服务你的——用好盘子，好香皂，舒服的枕头。你值得这些！
用好东西。别买了你喜欢的东西之后不敢用。东西就是用来服务你的——用好盘子，好香皂，舒服的枕头。你值得这些！
Here are some things that are helpful especially if you have kids:
假如你有孩子的话，那么这些建议尤为有用：
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
假如你有孩子的话，那么这些建议尤为有用：
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
5. ROUTINE! Kids seriously thrive with routine -- at the time I wasn't aware but looking back I can see how much the routine made us feel secure growing up. We woke up at the same times, ate at the same times -- I always knew there was going to be dinner at 5:30pm. Even if things got shifted sometimes, the consistency of our normal routine left me secure that I would be provided for. My mom was always there after school and if she wasn't for some reason, there was a note (pre-cell phones) letting us know exactly where she was and when she'd be back. I knew the rules and what to expect if I broke them, too. They were consistent. Not knowing what is going to happen creates a huge amount of anxiety in kids.
This is also important for you as an adult if you're re-parenting yourself. Routines are tough for me as someone with ADHD, but they're also a life saver.
规律！孩子们真的会在规律的生活之下健康成长——当时我还一点都意识不到，但现在我能发现规律的生活能让我们在成长过程中感到安全。我们每天都在同样的时间醒来，在同样的时间进食——我永远知道下午五点半会有晚饭吃。尽管有时会发生变化，我们正常生活规律的自洽性会让我感到安全。放学后我妈妈永远会在校门口等我，假如她有原因不来的话，会有一张字条（那时还没有手机）告诉我们知道她现在在哪里，会什么时候回来。我知道规矩，也知道自己坏了规矩的话会发生什么。这些都很自洽。不知道接下来会发生什么会给孩子们制造非常巨量的焦虑。
假如你是个成年人，打算重新给自己当一次家长的话，这也很重要。规律的生活对于我这种有多动症和注意力障碍的人来说有点困难，但这也是能救命的东西。
This is also important for you as an adult if you're re-parenting yourself. Routines are tough for me as someone with ADHD, but they're also a life saver.
规律！孩子们真的会在规律的生活之下健康成长——当时我还一点都意识不到，但现在我能发现规律的生活能让我们在成长过程中感到安全。我们每天都在同样的时间醒来，在同样的时间进食——我永远知道下午五点半会有晚饭吃。尽管有时会发生变化，我们正常生活规律的自洽性会让我感到安全。放学后我妈妈永远会在校门口等我，假如她有原因不来的话，会有一张字条（那时还没有手机）告诉我们知道她现在在哪里，会什么时候回来。我知道规矩，也知道自己坏了规矩的话会发生什么。这些都很自洽。不知道接下来会发生什么会给孩子们制造非常巨量的焦虑。
假如你是个成年人，打算重新给自己当一次家长的话，这也很重要。规律的生活对于我这种有多动症和注意力障碍的人来说有点困难，但这也是能救命的东西。
6. Sort of built off routines -- my mom had a calendar in our kitchen that had all our appointments and obligations on it. It sort of the command center. We could always check it and see what was going on that day/week/month. It also provided some security. I know things are mostly digital these days so maybe a shared Google calendar would work better. But I always liked the paper calendar hanging up in the kitchen.
一些建立起来的生活规律——我妈妈在厨房里放了个日历，上面有我们所有的约会和待办事项。这就像是控制中心一样。我们总是能看看上面有什么，这一天、这一星期、这一个月会发生什么事情。这也会提供一些安全感。我知道现在这种东西基本都数字化了，所以或许共享的谷歌日历能更有效。但我一直都喜欢在厨房里挂一个纸质的日历。
一些建立起来的生活规律——我妈妈在厨房里放了个日历，上面有我们所有的约会和待办事项。这就像是控制中心一样。我们总是能看看上面有什么，这一天、这一星期、这一个月会发生什么事情。这也会提供一些安全感。我知道现在这种东西基本都数字化了，所以或许共享的谷歌日历能更有效。但我一直都喜欢在厨房里挂一个纸质的日历。
7. Here's a big one: let your kids (and yourself for that matter) have a safe space to express all emotions. One of the biggest things I've noticed among friends who grew up to hate their home life was that they were punished for normal emotions. We were allowed to get mad, sad, whatever. There was a line of respect you didn't cross, but just having emotions in and of themselves wasn't seen as disrespectful or something to be punished. When I was a little twat teenager, my mom and I would fight and I'd storm off to my room and they let me. They'd give me time to cool off and then my dad would come CALMLY talk to me about it. If I had done something that crossed a boundary, like insult them or say something disrespectful, I had to apologize for that but not for experiencing emotions. A child won't grow up to learn emotional regulation if you don't let them experience any emotions.
接下来这个很重要：让你的孩子（以及你自己）拥有一个可以释放一切感情的安全的空间。我在那些成长过程中痛恨自己家庭生活的朋友们身上注意到的最重要的一件事，就是他们会因为表达普通的感情而受到惩罚。我们都可以生气，悲伤，等等。有一条互相尊重的线是你不能跨过的，但拥有感情本身并不是什么值得羞耻或是应该被惩罚的事情。当我还是一个小毛孩的时候，我和妈妈经常打架，我会跺着脚回到自己的房间，他们也允许我这么做。他们会给我时间让我冷静下来，然后我爸爸会平和地和我聊聊。假如我做了一件越界的事，比如侮辱他们或者说了不尊敬的话，那么我需要为这句话道歉，但不需要为表达情绪道歉。假如你不让孩子体验情绪的话，那么孩子是学不会情绪管理的。
接下来这个很重要：让你的孩子（以及你自己）拥有一个可以释放一切感情的安全的空间。我在那些成长过程中痛恨自己家庭生活的朋友们身上注意到的最重要的一件事，就是他们会因为表达普通的感情而受到惩罚。我们都可以生气，悲伤，等等。有一条互相尊重的线是你不能跨过的，但拥有感情本身并不是什么值得羞耻或是应该被惩罚的事情。当我还是一个小毛孩的时候，我和妈妈经常打架，我会跺着脚回到自己的房间，他们也允许我这么做。他们会给我时间让我冷静下来，然后我爸爸会平和地和我聊聊。假如我做了一件越界的事，比如侮辱他们或者说了不尊敬的话，那么我需要为这句话道歉，但不需要为表达情绪道歉。假如你不让孩子体验情绪的话，那么孩子是学不会情绪管理的。
8. We had rules about how we could treat each other and one of them was that name calling wasn't allowed in our house. You can get angry with people and call them out on their behavior, but when you cross a line into character accusations, you've entered into a nonproductive, damaging territory. In hindsight, I understand that this is the basic idea of nonviolent communication where you're addressing a person's behavior (which is changeable) and its impact on you, not attacking their fundamental character.
我们在对待彼此上有很多规则，其中一个就是不许骂人。你可以和人发脾气，指出他们不当的行为，但假如你跨过红线去辱骂他们的人格，你就踏入了没有建设性、会造成伤害的领域。事后来看，我认为这是非暴力沟通的基本观点，你应该指出一个人的行为（这个是可以改变的）以及这个行为对你造成的影响，而无需攻击他们的基本人格。
我们在对待彼此上有很多规则，其中一个就是不许骂人。你可以和人发脾气，指出他们不当的行为，但假如你跨过红线去辱骂他们的人格，你就踏入了没有建设性、会造成伤害的领域。事后来看，我认为这是非暴力沟通的基本观点，你应该指出一个人的行为（这个是可以改变的）以及这个行为对你造成的影响，而无需攻击他们的基本人格。
9. Prioritizing mental wellbeing and rest. My mom was light years ahead on this one. She let us have "mental health days" back before the term "mental health" was even in the general discourse. If we woke up one day and just weren't feeling it, she'd let us take a day off school. I remember telling a teacher that I'd been absent because I needed a mental health day and she had a look of utter disbelief and confusion. I was confused -- like don't you ever just feel mentally tired? I stopped mentioning it because people got downright angry at the idea that someone might need to electively take a day off a few times a year. Thankfully the mindset on this is changing. Everyone gets burnt out sometimes or just can't emotionally or mentally deal with shit -- even kids! Being allowed to take time when I needed it was really validating and helped me learn how to regulate myself and listen to my own internal cues.
将心理健康放在首位，好好休息。我妈妈在这方面比别人领先好几光年。早在“心理健康”这个概念成为大众的谈资之前，她就会让我们过“心理健康日”。假如我们有一天早上起来觉得没劲，她就会让我们请一天假。我记得之前跟一个老师说我要请假因为我需要过心理健康日的时候她用那种难以置信和困惑的目光看着我。我也很困惑——难道你就没感到精神上疲倦过吗？之后我就不再提这件事了，因为人们一听到某人可能需要随机挑一天休息这件事就生气起来。谢天谢地，最近对这方面的看法改变了很多。每个人都会遇到精疲力竭的时候，或者情感上、心理上无法和糟糕的事情打交道的时候——甚至是孩子！在我需要的时候可以花点时间整理好自己真的非常有用，并且这可以帮我学会如何管控自己、聆听我内心的话语。
将心理健康放在首位，好好休息。我妈妈在这方面比别人领先好几光年。早在“心理健康”这个概念成为大众的谈资之前，她就会让我们过“心理健康日”。假如我们有一天早上起来觉得没劲，她就会让我们请一天假。我记得之前跟一个老师说我要请假因为我需要过心理健康日的时候她用那种难以置信和困惑的目光看着我。我也很困惑——难道你就没感到精神上疲倦过吗？之后我就不再提这件事了，因为人们一听到某人可能需要随机挑一天休息这件事就生气起来。谢天谢地，最近对这方面的看法改变了很多。每个人都会遇到精疲力竭的时候，或者情感上、心理上无法和糟糕的事情打交道的时候——甚至是孩子！在我需要的时候可以花点时间整理好自己真的非常有用，并且这可以帮我学会如何管控自己、聆听我内心的话语。
10. This one is simple: We got to decorate our rooms. My mom was a great decorator and our house was always very nice looking -- but she let us do what we wanted to our rooms. She understood that having a space that reflects you and what you like makes you feel good.
这个很简单：我们得自己装饰自己的房间。我的妈妈非常擅长装饰，所以我们家的房子总是很好看——但是她会让我随意装饰自己的房间。她知道拥有一个能够反映你是谁、你喜欢什么的空间会让你感到很开心。
这个很简单：我们得自己装饰自己的房间。我的妈妈非常擅长装饰，所以我们家的房子总是很好看——但是她会让我随意装饰自己的房间。她知道拥有一个能够反映你是谁、你喜欢什么的空间会让你感到很开心。
11. Food/ the kitchen was never off limits (in general, it was OUR house, not my parents house that I got to live in so the idea of anything being off limits is so strange to me.) I know this might not be easy for people with tight budgets, but if possible, maybe have a food basket or drawer that is designated for anytime snacking so food anxiety isn't an issue.
食物/厨房永远不限量（总地来说，这是我们的房子，不是我不得不住在里头的我父母的房子，所以什么东西要限量的概念对我来说很奇怪）。我知道对于那些手头紧的家庭来说这种事情或许不太简单，但假如可以的话，或许可以弄一个食物篮子或者抽屉，任何时候都可以从里面拿东西吃，这样食物焦虑就不是问题了。
食物/厨房永远不限量（总地来说，这是我们的房子，不是我不得不住在里头的我父母的房子，所以什么东西要限量的概念对我来说很奇怪）。我知道对于那些手头紧的家庭来说这种事情或许不太简单，但假如可以的话，或许可以弄一个食物篮子或者抽屉，任何时候都可以从里面拿东西吃，这样食物焦虑就不是问题了。
12. I always knew my parents were in my corner. I knew I could call them when I needed help even if I'd done something bad. I knew I could trust them to have my best interests in mind, and I knew that when push came to shove, I had them backing me up. I had so many friends who couldn't trust their parents to treat them respectfully or with any sort of grace, and so they became excellent liars. I never lied to my parents because there was no reason to -- not that they let me do everything I wanted, but because I knew they'd be reasonable and fair and hear me out. Knowing you've got support is probably the most fundamental act of stability I can think of.
我永远都确定我的家长和我站在一起。我知道就算我做错了什么事，假如我需要帮助的话我都可以叫他们。我知道我可以相信他们将我的利益放在第一位，并且我也知道当事情落到无可挽回的地步的时候，我有他们为我撑腰。我有很多的朋友他们都无法信任自己的父母用尊重或者体面的方式对待自己，于是他们成为了卓越的骗子（我破防了）。我从来都没对我的父母撒过谎，因为根本没有这个原因——不是因为他们惯着我做一切我想要做的事，而是因为我知道他们会讲道理，会公平地听我把道理说清楚。知道有人支持你或许是我能想到的最基本的带来稳定的行为。
我永远都确定我的家长和我站在一起。我知道就算我做错了什么事，假如我需要帮助的话我都可以叫他们。我知道我可以相信他们将我的利益放在第一位，并且我也知道当事情落到无可挽回的地步的时候，我有他们为我撑腰。我有很多的朋友他们都无法信任自己的父母用尊重或者体面的方式对待自己，于是他们成为了卓越的骗子（我破防了）。我从来都没对我的父母撒过谎，因为根本没有这个原因——不是因为他们惯着我做一切我想要做的事，而是因为我知道他们会讲道理，会公平地听我把道理说清楚。知道有人支持你或许是我能想到的最基本的带来稳定的行为。
Isgortio
I had a few girls from school that would follow me home and invite themselves into my house, I was friendly with them so it was alright but I later realised it's because my house didn't have any smoke, alcohol, violence, shouting or screaming children. Some of them were so unfortunate that I ended up just giving them some of my stuff because I didn't want/need it and they did.
我上学的时候认识几个女孩，她们会跟我回家，并且会要求我带她们去我家玩。我当时和她们关系还不错，所以我觉得没问题，但过了一阵子我才发现，这是因为我的家里没有任何的烟、酒精、暴力、喊叫或是大声尖叫的儿童。她们中的有些人是如此不幸，我最终干脆把我的一些东西送给了她们，因为我不需要或者不想要，但是她们需要这些东西。
I had a few girls from school that would follow me home and invite themselves into my house, I was friendly with them so it was alright but I later realised it's because my house didn't have any smoke, alcohol, violence, shouting or screaming children. Some of them were so unfortunate that I ended up just giving them some of my stuff because I didn't want/need it and they did.
我上学的时候认识几个女孩，她们会跟我回家，并且会要求我带她们去我家玩。我当时和她们关系还不错，所以我觉得没问题，但过了一阵子我才发现，这是因为我的家里没有任何的烟、酒精、暴力、喊叫或是大声尖叫的儿童。她们中的有些人是如此不幸，我最终干脆把我的一些东西送给了她们，因为我不需要或者不想要，但是她们需要这些东西。
My parents have their moments and can be very annoying, but there's always been food in the house, electricity, clean running water and a lockable bedroom/bathroom door. My friends that didn't have that really struggled, but I didn't quite see it as a kid/teenager.
我的家长们也有自己发脾气的时候，并且有时也很让人烦恼，但至少我们的家里永远都有食物、有电力、有干净的自来水和能锁上门的卧室/浴室房间。我的那些缺乏这些设施的朋友们真的度过了一段很困难的时光，但在我还是孩子、青少年的时候我并没有意识到这一点。
我的家长们也有自己发脾气的时候，并且有时也很让人烦恼，但至少我们的家里永远都有食物、有电力、有干净的自来水和能锁上门的卧室/浴室房间。我的那些缺乏这些设施的朋友们真的度过了一段很困难的时光，但在我还是孩子、青少年的时候我并没有意识到这一点。
wweber1
I relate to a lot of what you said. It sounds like you grew up with a lot of stability.
你说的很多东西我都能感到共情。听起来你成长的环境非常稳定。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I relate to a lot of what you said. It sounds like you grew up with a lot of stability.
你说的很多东西我都能感到共情。听起来你成长的环境非常稳定。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I also grew up in a quiet, peaceful home and neighborhood as well.
我也在一个安静、和平的家庭和社区中长大。
我也在一个安静、和平的家庭和社区中长大。
Looking back now, I wonder if I am a calm person because of that since a child's environment has such a huge impact on them.
现在回头看去，我在想现在的我是一个冷静的人是否是因为这个，因为孩子成长的环境有如此大的影响。
现在回头看去，我在想现在的我是一个冷静的人是否是因为这个，因为孩子成长的环境有如此大的影响。
We live in a very fast-paced and constant-stimulation world.
我们生活在一个非常快节奏、经常需要刺激的世界之中。
我们生活在一个非常快节奏、经常需要刺激的世界之中。
In my area right now (moved to a bustling city) I see a lot of kids having anxiety and hyperactivity. I wonder if there is a correlation.
在我现在生活的地方（我搬到了一个繁忙的城市），我看得见很多孩子有焦虑和多动的问题。我在想这之间是否存在者联系。
在我现在生活的地方（我搬到了一个繁忙的城市），我看得见很多孩子有焦虑和多动的问题。我在想这之间是否存在者联系。
EmeraldStorm089
Hell, having one.
他妈的，有一个就不错了。
Hell, having one.
他妈的，有一个就不错了。
Pinealdan
Yep I can attest to this. I have one shitty parent and one great parent. I’d probably be on the streets somewhere if I had no guidance from my one good parent.
没错我可以作证。我有一个很烂的家长和一个很棒的家长。假如我连那个很棒的家长的指引都得不到的话，那我很可能就要在街上讨生活了。
Yep I can attest to this. I have one shitty parent and one great parent. I’d probably be on the streets somewhere if I had no guidance from my one good parent.
没错我可以作证。我有一个很烂的家长和一个很棒的家长。假如我连那个很棒的家长的指引都得不到的话，那我很可能就要在街上讨生活了。
bee-sting
Health
健康
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Health
健康
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
kimkimkimmy
Not being in pain
没有痛苦
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Not being in pain
没有痛苦
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
SomedayMightCome
One of the worst parts of chronic illness is knowing that this is how things are always going to be, that it only gets worse from here.
慢性疾病最糟糕的一点就是你知道这种现状永远会在你的身上持续下去，并且只会比现在变得越来越糟。
One of the worst parts of chronic illness is knowing that this is how things are always going to be, that it only gets worse from here.
慢性疾病最糟糕的一点就是你知道这种现状永远会在你的身上持续下去，并且只会比现在变得越来越糟。
aventador52
Education
教育
Education
教育
Lumpy-Pilot-2324
Which is shocking given that education in the US is often seen as worse than a full-time job. Your busiest and most miserable times are high school and college.
这很令人震惊，因为在美国人们经常觉得受教育比全职工作要糟糕得多。你最忙碌、最难过的人生阶段在高中和大学。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Which is shocking given that education in the US is often seen as worse than a full-time job. Your busiest and most miserable times are high school and college.
这很令人震惊，因为在美国人们经常觉得受教育比全职工作要糟糕得多。你最忙碌、最难过的人生阶段在高中和大学。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
aventador52
Definitely agree. I’ve traveled to 3rd world countries and some kids would do anything to get an opportunity to gain an education and improve their life because usually that’s the only way compared to here where there are other opportunities.
完全赞同。我去过一些第三世界国家，那里的一些孩子们为了得到受教育的机会、改善自己的生活愿意做出任何事，因为通常来讲这是他们唯一的机会。
Definitely agree. I’ve traveled to 3rd world countries and some kids would do anything to get an opportunity to gain an education and improve their life because usually that’s the only way compared to here where there are other opportunities.
完全赞同。我去过一些第三世界国家，那里的一些孩子们为了得到受教育的机会、改善自己的生活愿意做出任何事，因为通常来讲这是他们唯一的机会。
tommytster
Libraries! I think a lot of people who have access to a public library don’t appreciate how much of a privilege that is.
图书馆！我觉得有太多有图书馆可以去的人都意识不到那是多么优越的一件事。
Libraries! I think a lot of people who have access to a public library don’t appreciate how much of a privilege that is.
图书馆！我觉得有太多有图书馆可以去的人都意识不到那是多么优越的一件事。
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