有什么孩子都能懂的事实是你长大之后才尴尬地意识到的？
正文翻译
What basic, children's-age-level fact did you only find out embarrassingly later in life?
有什么孩子都能懂的事实是你长大之后才尴尬地意识到的？
What basic, children's-age-level fact did you only find out embarrassingly later in life?
有什么孩子都能懂的事实是你长大之后才尴尬地意识到的？
评论翻译
EducatedOwlAthena
My great-grandfather had half a pinkie on his left hand and always said it was because he liked to use it to sop up leftover pancake syrup and had worn it down to a nub. This made sense to me because I'd seen him do that plenty of times.
我的曾祖父左手只有半根小拇指，他以前总是说这是因为他喜欢用这根指头把烤饼剩下的糖浆刮起来，手指慢慢就磨没了。我以前觉得很有道理，因为我经常看见他这么做。
My great-grandfather had half a pinkie on his left hand and always said it was because he liked to use it to sop up leftover pancake syrup and had worn it down to a nub. This made sense to me because I'd seen him do that plenty of times.
我的曾祖父左手只有半根小拇指，他以前总是说这是因为他喜欢用这根指头把烤饼剩下的糖浆刮起来，手指慢慢就磨没了。我以前觉得很有道理，因为我经常看见他这么做。
I was so embarrassed to be in college before I realized that was ridiculous and finally asked him what really happened. In reality, he and my uncle had been working in their blacksmith shop, and my uncle accidentally brought a sledgehammer down on his pinkie. He didn't want to traumatize me with the truth as a kid, but by the time I asked, I was more than old enough to handle it.
直到上了大学之后我才发现这件事很可笑，于是我问他当时发生了什么。事实上是他和我叔叔以前在铁匠铺工作，我叔叔不小心把锤子砸到他的小拇指上了。他不希望在我还是个孩子的时候说出这个事实把我吓到，但是在我问起这件事的时候，我已经远远过了能处理好这件事的年龄了。
直到上了大学之后我才发现这件事很可笑，于是我问他当时发生了什么。事实上是他和我叔叔以前在铁匠铺工作，我叔叔不小心把锤子砸到他的小拇指上了。他不希望在我还是个孩子的时候说出这个事实把我吓到，但是在我问起这件事的时候，我已经远远过了能处理好这件事的年龄了。
_sn3ll_
When I asked my grandad why he was bald he said he stood up too fast out of a helicopter when he was in the RAF, and it all blew off.
我问我祖父他为什么秃的时候，他说他在皇家空军的时候坐在直升机里往外探头的动作太快了， 头发就都吹掉了。
When I asked my grandad why he was bald he said he stood up too fast out of a helicopter when he was in the RAF, and it all blew off.
我问我祖父他为什么秃的时候，他说他在皇家空军的时候坐在直升机里往外探头的动作太快了， 头发就都吹掉了。
NikthePieEater
Not me, but my father once stole into the woods during a family camping trip and put marshmallows on a bush, so it looked like they grew on it.
不是我，但我爸有一次在家庭野营的时候偷偷跑进森林里，把棉花糖放到了灌木上，看起来就像是从灌木上长出了棉花糖一样。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Not me, but my father once stole into the woods during a family camping trip and put marshmallows on a bush, so it looked like they grew on it.
不是我，但我爸有一次在家庭野营的时候偷偷跑进森林里，把棉花糖放到了灌木上，看起来就像是从灌木上长出了棉花糖一样。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
My sister made it to post secondary horticulture before she wised up.
我妹妹在明白过来之前拿它当盆栽养了好久。
我妹妹在明白过来之前拿它当盆栽养了好久。
oreo_2005
I truly believed that for the longest time that hair grew from the ends of the strands, not from the scalp. When I was 13 I asked my friend who had dyed her hair what she was going to do when the ends grew her natural colour. Didn’t hear the end of it. My stupidity still pains me to this day.
我之前有相当长的一段时间相信头发是从末梢，而不是从头皮往外长的。在我13岁的时候，我问了一个染了头发的同学假如她的发梢再长出原色的头发该怎么办。我当时的愚蠢让我到今天仍然感到痛苦。
I truly believed that for the longest time that hair grew from the ends of the strands, not from the scalp. When I was 13 I asked my friend who had dyed her hair what she was going to do when the ends grew her natural colour. Didn’t hear the end of it. My stupidity still pains me to this day.
我之前有相当长的一段时间相信头发是从末梢，而不是从头皮往外长的。在我13岁的时候，我问了一个染了头发的同学假如她的发梢再长出原色的头发该怎么办。我当时的愚蠢让我到今天仍然感到痛苦。
Bonzi777
When I was 4 or 5 my mother brought me home a balloon one day. Plain blue balloon with helium. I accidentally let it go and it flew away. Being little, I was devastated. Later that night she comes back from somewhere and tells me she was at the gas station and miraculously, my balloon just came floating by. Being a kid I was thrilled and totally believed it.
在我四五岁的时候，我妈妈往家里给我带了个气球。普通的蓝气球，里面充了氦。我不小心把气球松开了，它就飞走了。当时我还小，所以特别难过。那天晚上她从什么地方回来，跟我说她在加油站的时候突然奇迹般地看到我的气球飞了过来。当时我都惊到了，完全相信了这一点。
When I was 4 or 5 my mother brought me home a balloon one day. Plain blue balloon with helium. I accidentally let it go and it flew away. Being little, I was devastated. Later that night she comes back from somewhere and tells me she was at the gas station and miraculously, my balloon just came floating by. Being a kid I was thrilled and totally believed it.
在我四五岁的时候，我妈妈往家里给我带了个气球。普通的蓝气球，里面充了氦。我不小心把气球松开了，它就飞走了。当时我还小，所以特别难过。那天晚上她从什么地方回来，跟我说她在加油站的时候突然奇迹般地看到我的气球飞了过来。当时我都惊到了，完全相信了这一点。
So fast forward 20+ years. I’m on a date and we stop to get gas and we see a balloon floating by the gas station. Probably hadn’t thought of that story again in all that time. So I start telling my date the story about how I had a balloon fly away and then my mother found the very same balloon at a gas station and then as I’m saying it out loud I realize (too late to not look like an idiot) that of course it wasn’t the same freaking balloon. I’ve never seen someone laugh so hard.
然后快进二十多年。我在约会，开车去加油站加油，看见一个气球从加油站飞了过去。过了这么长时间我可能从来都没再回顾一遍这个故事。于是我开始跟我的约会对象讲我当时是怎么有个气球不小心飞走了，我妈妈又是怎么在加油站发现了那个我弄丢的气球，在我扯着嗓门跟他讲这件事的时候我才意识到（太晚了我已经像个傻子一样了）显然那他妈不是同一个气球。我从来没见过哪个人笑得那么厉害。
然后快进二十多年。我在约会，开车去加油站加油，看见一个气球从加油站飞了过去。过了这么长时间我可能从来都没再回顾一遍这个故事。于是我开始跟我的约会对象讲我当时是怎么有个气球不小心飞走了，我妈妈又是怎么在加油站发现了那个我弄丢的气球，在我扯着嗓门跟他讲这件事的时候我才意识到（太晚了我已经像个傻子一样了）显然那他妈不是同一个气球。我从来没见过哪个人笑得那么厉害。
PM_ME_FREE_STUFF_PLS
As a kid I used to think the Black Market was an actual place like a bazaar where all the criminals would regularly meet up
我小的时候以为黑市是个真实存在的东西，就像个集子一样，所有的犯罪分子都会定期过去碰头。
As a kid I used to think the Black Market was an actual place like a bazaar where all the criminals would regularly meet up
我小的时候以为黑市是个真实存在的东西，就像个集子一样，所有的犯罪分子都会定期过去碰头。
nahiaintdoingthat
Me too, I actually thought I went to a black market once when I was way younger and visiting London.
我也是，我很小的时候去伦敦旅游，还以为自己真的去了一趟黑市。
Me too, I actually thought I went to a black market once when I was way younger and visiting London.
我也是，我很小的时候去伦敦旅游，还以为自己真的去了一趟黑市。
All the stalls had black sheets so I presumed this must be the black markets.
那些摊位都有黑色的棚子，所以我就以为这肯定是黑市了。
那些摊位都有黑色的棚子，所以我就以为这肯定是黑市了。
Wolfy-1993
I thought until the age of about 21 that when companies had "Est" next to their name, it was estimated that companies were started around that time.
直到21岁之前，我一直以为那些公司的名字前面加个“Est”的，意思是公司的创始时期估计在那段时间附近。
I thought until the age of about 21 that when companies had "Est" next to their name, it was estimated that companies were started around that time.
直到21岁之前，我一直以为那些公司的名字前面加个“Est”的，意思是公司的创始时期估计在那段时间附近。
It was only when I voiced my disgust profoundly to my then-partner that it was ridiculous that no one knew when these companies were formed, and why were they all estimated?!
直到我跟我的前伴侣表达我深刻的不满的时候，我说这多可笑啊，难道没有人知道这些公司是什么时候建立的吗？为什么都是估计的？！
直到我跟我的前伴侣表达我深刻的不满的时候，我说这多可笑啊，难道没有人知道这些公司是什么时候建立的吗？为什么都是估计的？！
She just stared at me blankly for a moment and just went:
她瞪了我一会儿，然后说：
她瞪了我一会儿，然后说：
"Established"
“是在那年建立的”（译注：Established“建立于”和Estimated“估计”的缩写都可以是Est.）
“是在那年建立的”（译注：Established“建立于”和Estimated“估计”的缩写都可以是Est.）
el_drosophilosopher
Not me, but a friend of mine didn't learn that Martin Luther and Martin Luther King, Jr weren't the same person until college.
不是我，我有个朋友在上大学之前都不知道马丁路德和马丁路德金不是一个人。
Not me, but a friend of mine didn't learn that Martin Luther and Martin Luther King, Jr weren't the same person until college.
不是我，我有个朋友在上大学之前都不知道马丁路德和马丁路德金不是一个人。
Fried_puri
Don’t add dish soap to the dishwasher. Found that one out at 26. I swear it’s only because I grew up washing dishes by hand. Had a fun time cleaning that mistake.
不要把洗洁精放到洗碗机里。26岁那年我才发现。我发誓这是因为我从小到大都用手洗碗。收拾我捅的这个篓子的时候还挺有意思的。
Don’t add dish soap to the dishwasher. Found that one out at 26. I swear it’s only because I grew up washing dishes by hand. Had a fun time cleaning that mistake.
不要把洗洁精放到洗碗机里。26岁那年我才发现。我发誓这是因为我从小到大都用手洗碗。收拾我捅的这个篓子的时候还挺有意思的。
CaptCapsize
I was 23 when I learned I was allergic to apples.
我知道自己对苹果过敏是23岁那年。
I was 23 when I learned I was allergic to apples.
我知道自己对苹果过敏是23岁那年。
Someone was complaining about their throat closing up after smoking, and I responded with “oh yeah like when you eat an apple?” You can imagine how the conversation went from there.
有人抱怨他抽完烟之后嗓子发紧，我回答说“哦就像你吃苹果的时候一样？”你可以想象一下之后的对话是怎么进行的。
有人抱怨他抽完烟之后嗓子发紧，我回答说“哦就像你吃苹果的时候一样？”你可以想象一下之后的对话是怎么进行的。
t3hgrl
A friend of mine learned he was allergic to bananas when his mom asked why he didn’t want one and he said he just wasn’t in the mood for a spicy fruit. We were at least teenagers
我有个朋友意识到自己对香蕉过敏的契机是他妈妈问他为什么不想吃香蕉的时候，他说他只是现在不太想吃辣味的水果。当时我们至少是青少年。
A friend of mine learned he was allergic to bananas when his mom asked why he didn’t want one and he said he just wasn’t in the mood for a spicy fruit. We were at least teenagers
我有个朋友意识到自己对香蕉过敏的契机是他妈妈问他为什么不想吃香蕉的时候，他说他只是现在不太想吃辣味的水果。当时我们至少是青少年。
Lulubean16
My mother told me that if you swallowed gum it would stick to your ribs. I was in my second year of college in an Anatomy class when it hit me that this isn’t true.
我妈妈跟我说假如你把口香糖咽下去，口香糖就会粘在你的肋骨上。我在读大二那年上解剖课的时候才猛然发现这不是真的。
My mother told me that if you swallowed gum it would stick to your ribs. I was in my second year of college in an Anatomy class when it hit me that this isn’t true.
我妈妈跟我说假如你把口香糖咽下去，口香糖就会粘在你的肋骨上。我在读大二那年上解剖课的时候才猛然发现这不是真的。
DisraeliEers
A few years ago I was searching for different classical pieces in Spotify, getting frustrated that every version Spotify had of works by composers like Beethoven and Bach were "covers" performed by modern orchestras.
几年前我在Spotify上搜索古典音乐的时候，非常气愤地发现贝多芬和巴赫之类的作曲家的作品在Spotify上的所有版本都是某个现代的交响乐团“翻唱”的。
A few years ago I was searching for different classical pieces in Spotify, getting frustrated that every version Spotify had of works by composers like Beethoven and Bach were "covers" performed by modern orchestras.
几年前我在Spotify上搜索古典音乐的时候，非常气愤地发现贝多芬和巴赫之类的作曲家的作品在Spotify上的所有版本都是某个现代的交响乐团“翻唱”的。
My idiot brain was looking for original recordings from the 18th Century until it finally realized how dumb that was.
我智障一般的大脑到处找了半天18世纪的原版，才发现我有多蠢。
我智障一般的大脑到处找了半天18世纪的原版，才发现我有多蠢。
24KaratMinshew
My mom used to tell me the car doesn’t start if the seatbelts aren’t buckled … didn’t know that wasn’t a real feature until I was 22
我妈妈以前跟我说假如安全带没系好的话车子是没办法发动的……直到22岁我才意识到这不是真正存在的功能。
My mom used to tell me the car doesn’t start if the seatbelts aren’t buckled … didn’t know that wasn’t a real feature until I was 22
我妈妈以前跟我说假如安全带没系好的话车子是没办法发动的……直到22岁我才意识到这不是真正存在的功能。
spacecadetcyan
Thought the former leader of North Korea was Kim Jong the Second for an embarrassingly long time. I somehow managed to avoid hearing his name said out loud. Or... written in a serif font, apparently.
我有很长一段时间都以为朝鲜之前的领导人叫“金正二世（译注：金正日的英文名是Kim Jong Il）”。我不知道自己是怎么做到在这么长的时间里都没听到别人大声读出他的名字的。或者……用衬线字体打出来。
Thought the former leader of North Korea was Kim Jong the Second for an embarrassingly long time. I somehow managed to avoid hearing his name said out loud. Or... written in a serif font, apparently.
我有很长一段时间都以为朝鲜之前的领导人叫“金正二世（译注：金正日的英文名是Kim Jong Il）”。我不知道自己是怎么做到在这么长的时间里都没听到别人大声读出他的名字的。或者……用衬线字体打出来。
jaimonee
I was watching the news once and the anchor kept referring to Malcom X as Malcom the Tenth.
我有一次看新闻，播音员一直把马尔科姆X念成马尔科姆十世。
I was watching the news once and the anchor kept referring to Malcom X as Malcom the Tenth.
我有一次看新闻，播音员一直把马尔科姆X念成马尔科姆十世。
Diamondogs11
My 31 year-old girlfriend thought islands don’t touch the bottom of the ocean
我31岁的女朋友觉得岛屿和海底之间是没有连接的
My 31 year-old girlfriend thought islands don’t touch the bottom of the ocean
我31岁的女朋友觉得岛屿和海底之间是没有连接的
billygoat888
Can confirm this is a thing. Was a kayak/surf/snorkel guide in hawaii and a STAGGERING amount of people asked me where/how long it would take to swim under the island.
我能证实你说的。之前我在夏威夷当皮划艇、冲浪和徒手潜水的向导，有特别多的人问我游到岛屿的底下要花多久。
Can confirm this is a thing. Was a kayak/surf/snorkel guide in hawaii and a STAGGERING amount of people asked me where/how long it would take to swim under the island.
我能证实你说的。之前我在夏威夷当皮划艇、冲浪和徒手潜水的向导，有特别多的人问我游到岛屿的底下要花多久。
lunchboxdeluxe
There's no chemical in the pool that reveals pee. A buddy and I were talking about it and we both realized at the same time that nether of us have actually SEEN it. We looked it up and felt dumb as hell.
游泳池里没有那种能让尿变得明显的化学物质。我和我哥们有一次正在聊这件事，我们同时意识到根本没见过这种东西。我们查了查，发现自己蠢得要死。
There's no chemical in the pool that reveals pee. A buddy and I were talking about it and we both realized at the same time that nether of us have actually SEEN it. We looked it up and felt dumb as hell.
游泳池里没有那种能让尿变得明显的化学物质。我和我哥们有一次正在聊这件事，我们同时意识到根本没见过这种东西。我们查了查，发现自己蠢得要死。
Edit: Yes, before you type it out, I know Chlorine and pee combined creates that "pool smell." That's not what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that mythical chemical they put in a pool that changes color when somebody pisses in the pool water, and identifies who peed. That doesn't exist, it's what they tell kids to scare them out of pissing in the pool.
编辑：没错，不用你们回，我知道氯气和尿液混合会产生那种“泳池味儿”。我说的不是这个。我说的是他们说的那种往泳池里放的神秘的化学物质，假如有人在泳池里尿尿的话物质就会变色，识别出来是谁在尿尿。这种物质并不存在。这是他们吓唬小孩让他们不要在泳池里尿尿的话。
编辑：没错，不用你们回，我知道氯气和尿液混合会产生那种“泳池味儿”。我说的不是这个。我说的是他们说的那种往泳池里放的神秘的化学物质，假如有人在泳池里尿尿的话物质就会变色，识别出来是谁在尿尿。这种物质并不存在。这是他们吓唬小孩让他们不要在泳池里尿尿的话。
catslovepats
HAHA my parents put a pool in our backyard when I was in middle school and told us that they added chemicals that reveals pee and I told literally everyone who came to my house about it and when I was like…23 I found out it was a lie
哈哈哈哈我的父母在我上中学的时候在我们家的后院修了个泳池，并且跟我们说他们往泳池里放了能显示出尿的化学成分，我就跟每个来我家泳池玩的人都讲了一遍这个事，直到我大概23岁的时候我才发现这是假的。
HAHA my parents put a pool in our backyard when I was in middle school and told us that they added chemicals that reveals pee and I told literally everyone who came to my house about it and when I was like…23 I found out it was a lie
哈哈哈哈我的父母在我上中学的时候在我们家的后院修了个泳池，并且跟我们说他们往泳池里放了能显示出尿的化学成分，我就跟每个来我家泳池玩的人都讲了一遍这个事，直到我大概23岁的时候我才发现这是假的。
Apples-and-chips
I was probably in my 30’s when I realised that killing yourself by putting your head in an oven was the gas killing you and not just burning your head off.
我大概30多岁的时候才知道把脑袋放到炉子上面自杀是一氧化碳杀死你，而不是火把脑袋烤熟。
I was probably in my 30’s when I realised that killing yourself by putting your head in an oven was the gas killing you and not just burning your head off.
我大概30多岁的时候才知道把脑袋放到炉子上面自杀是一氧化碳杀死你，而不是火把脑袋烤熟。
My brother is 30, has 2 children, a career and literally cannot tell the time on a standard watch with big and little hands....
我兄弟今年30岁，有2个孩子，不错的职业生涯，但他真的到现在也不懂怎么用那种普通的有大小针的表看时间……
我兄弟今年30岁，有2个孩子，不错的职业生涯，但他真的到现在也不懂怎么用那种普通的有大小针的表看时间……
OpinionatedAss
I thought that when you ate, all the food piled up from your feet and then when it reached your butt, you went poop
我曾经以为你吃东西的时候，你吃进去的东西都会从脚开始堆积，堆到屁股的时候你就去拉屎。
I thought that when you ate, all the food piled up from your feet and then when it reached your butt, you went poop
我曾经以为你吃东西的时候，你吃进去的东西都会从脚开始堆积，堆到屁股的时候你就去拉屎。
No clue where it came from but I believed it far longer than I should have
我不知道这是哪来的想法，但是我相信了很久。
我不知道这是哪来的想法，但是我相信了很久。
BlanketsAndBlankets
My grandma always made me eat the crust of my bread because "it has the most nutrients." In college when I told my younger cousin that in front of my Grandma, she laughed and said "I only told you that so you wouldn't waste the crust."
我奶奶总是让我吃面包边，因为“营养最丰富”。等我上大学之后在我奶奶面前跟我的表弟说这件事的时候，她笑着说“我只是想让你别浪费了面包边”。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
My grandma always made me eat the crust of my bread because "it has the most nutrients." In college when I told my younger cousin that in front of my Grandma, she laughed and said "I only told you that so you wouldn't waste the crust."
我奶奶总是让我吃面包边，因为“营养最丰富”。等我上大学之后在我奶奶面前跟我的表弟说这件事的时候，她笑着说“我只是想让你别浪费了面包边”。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Similarly that if you turn the lights on and off too fast you'll start a fire. Once I became a parent I realized it's just a way to stop kids from being annoying.
还有一个类似的，假如你按灯开关的频率太快，你就会搞出火灾。在我当了家长之后我才意识到这只是让孩子们别烦人的方法。
还有一个类似的，假如你按灯开关的频率太快，你就会搞出火灾。在我当了家长之后我才意识到这只是让孩子们别烦人的方法。
RonanTheBarbarian
A friend of mine had a mom that would make sure there was an inch of room for his feet to grow whenever he got new shoes as a kid. He was in his twenties and trying on new shoes, and asked the salesperson if there was room at the tip. They looked up at him like he had a dick growing out of his forehead and said, "You don't need room, you're done growing." Oof.
我有个朋友，他小的时候妈妈每次给他买鞋都会确保新鞋的脚指头前面有一英寸的空间给他长个。后来他已经二十多岁了，买新鞋的时候问售货员脚尖还有没有空间。他们看他的样子就像是他脑门上长出了根屌一样，然后说，“你不需要留空间了，你长不动了。”啊哦。
A friend of mine had a mom that would make sure there was an inch of room for his feet to grow whenever he got new shoes as a kid. He was in his twenties and trying on new shoes, and asked the salesperson if there was room at the tip. They looked up at him like he had a dick growing out of his forehead and said, "You don't need room, you're done growing." Oof.
我有个朋友，他小的时候妈妈每次给他买鞋都会确保新鞋的脚指头前面有一英寸的空间给他长个。后来他已经二十多岁了，买新鞋的时候问售货员脚尖还有没有空间。他们看他的样子就像是他脑门上长出了根屌一样，然后说，“你不需要留空间了，你长不动了。”啊哦。
Angrypenguinwaddle96
My mum use to tell me that putting too much vinegar on your chips makes your blood dry up so I’ve been scared of putting too much on. I’m 25 now and just realised my mum wanted me to save everything due to her being a single mum and in alot of debt.
我妈妈以前跟我说往薯片里放太多醋会让你的血变干，于是我就再也不敢放太多东西了。25岁之后我才意识到我妈妈只是想让我做到一切都节省，因为她是个单身母亲，并且欠了很多债。
My mum use to tell me that putting too much vinegar on your chips makes your blood dry up so I’ve been scared of putting too much on. I’m 25 now and just realised my mum wanted me to save everything due to her being a single mum and in alot of debt.
我妈妈以前跟我说往薯片里放太多醋会让你的血变干，于是我就再也不敢放太多东西了。25岁之后我才意识到我妈妈只是想让我做到一切都节省，因为她是个单身母亲，并且欠了很多债。
glottal_t
I had a friend who at 25 found out pepperoni was indeed not a vegetable.
我有个朋友在25岁那年才发现佩佩罗尼（披萨饼上的意大利干腊肠）不是蔬菜。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I had a friend who at 25 found out pepperoni was indeed not a vegetable.
我有个朋友在25岁那年才发现佩佩罗尼（披萨饼上的意大利干腊肠）不是蔬菜。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
He ordered a meat lovers supreme. The waitress was both surprised and amused when responding to his concerns about why pepperoni was on this meat-only pizza.
他点了个肉食至尊披萨，然后严肃地问服务员为什么这个本应该只有肉的披萨上有佩佩罗尼，服务员又惊讶又觉得好笑。
他点了个肉食至尊披萨，然后严肃地问服务员为什么这个本应该只有肉的披萨上有佩佩罗尼，服务员又惊讶又觉得好笑。
lightwell
I had to tell my aunt, at the age of 60, that cats and dogs cannot interbreed and create some sort of hybrid catdog.
我得跟我60岁的姨妈解释猫和狗是不能杂交生出混种猫狗的。
I had to tell my aunt, at the age of 60, that cats and dogs cannot interbreed and create some sort of hybrid catdog.
我得跟我60岁的姨妈解释猫和狗是不能杂交生出混种猫狗的。
She didnt believe me at first, so I had to tell her lots of half people half sheep would be running around if that was the case.
她一开始还不相信，然后我就得跟她说要不然这个世界上就会有很多半人半羊的生物到处跑了。
她一开始还不相信，然后我就得跟她说要不然这个世界上就会有很多半人半羊的生物到处跑了。
Marutar
My mother used to feed me 'dark green lettuce' as salads, I loved it even when I was a kid.
我妈妈以前喜欢把一种“暗绿色的生菜”做成沙拉，我还小的时候就很喜欢。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
My mother used to feed me 'dark green lettuce' as salads, I loved it even when I was a kid.
我妈妈以前喜欢把一种“暗绿色的生菜”做成沙拉，我还小的时候就很喜欢。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I think I was 17 and I had a friend over for dinner, asked my mom for seconds of dark green lettuce.
我想那年我应该17岁，请一个朋友来我家吃完饭，让我妈妈再填一份暗绿色的生菜。
我想那年我应该17岁，请一个朋友来我家吃完饭，让我妈妈再填一份暗绿色的生菜。
Friend looks at me like I'm a fucking idiot, "Uh, you mean spinach?"
朋友像看傻逼一样地看着我，“呃，你指的是菠菜？”
朋友像看傻逼一样地看着我，“呃，你指的是菠菜？”
Moms had been fooling me my whole life
我妈骗了我一辈子
我妈骗了我一辈子
SedentaryLady
My grandpa used to take me fishing a lot as a child. He explained that any noise at all would scare the fish in the lake and ruin fishing for everyone there for hours.
小时候我爷爷很喜欢带我去钓鱼。他跟我说任何噪音都会把鱼吓跑，并且会让那里钓鱼的所有人都好几个小时钓不到鱼。
My grandpa used to take me fishing a lot as a child. He explained that any noise at all would scare the fish in the lake and ruin fishing for everyone there for hours.
小时候我爷爷很喜欢带我去钓鱼。他跟我说任何噪音都会把鱼吓跑，并且会让那里钓鱼的所有人都好几个小时钓不到鱼。
On a boat with my husband last month at the age of 28…I realized grandpa just wanted some peace and quiet.
上个月我28岁了，坐船跟我丈夫出海钓鱼……我才意识到我爷爷只是想要安静。
上个月我28岁了，坐船跟我丈夫出海钓鱼……我才意识到我爷爷只是想要安静。
Edit: Some people are saying you really can’t make noise, so I’ll explain. My husband turned on the radio while we were out fishing. When I complained he said, “Oh, honey. Grandpa ___ just wanted you to shut up.”
编辑：有人说你真的不能发出声音，我解释一下。我们出去钓鱼的时候我丈夫打开了收音机。听到我抱怨之后他说，“哦宝贝。你爷爷只是想让你闭嘴。”
编辑：有人说你真的不能发出声音，我解释一下。我们出去钓鱼的时候我丈夫打开了收音机。听到我抱怨之后他说，“哦宝贝。你爷爷只是想让你闭嘴。”
We caught lots of fish and made all the ruckus we wanted.
我们那天钓上来不少鱼，并且闹了很大动静。
我们那天钓上来不少鱼，并且闹了很大动静。
sunsetlighthouse
My mom used to tell me that accidentally biting my tongue or cheek was a sign that I was overly tired. I believed that until I was 15 or 16. Turns out she was just trying to get me to go to bed earlier
我妈妈以前告诉我说不小心咬到舌头或者腮帮子意味着我太累了。我直到十五六岁为止仍然相信她的话，结果她只是想让我早点上床睡觉。
My mom used to tell me that accidentally biting my tongue or cheek was a sign that I was overly tired. I believed that until I was 15 or 16. Turns out she was just trying to get me to go to bed earlier
我妈妈以前告诉我说不小心咬到舌头或者腮帮子意味着我太累了。我直到十五六岁为止仍然相信她的话，结果她只是想让我早点上床睡觉。
peterinjapan
I am an American living in Japan. Not only did the kids I used to teach think the blonde hairs on my arms were made of gold, so that I could cut them off and sell them for money, I was asked if my blue eyes caused me to see the world through a blue tint. The latter was asked by a 30 year old woman.
我是个在日本生活的美国人。我教过的孩子们以为我胳膊上的金毛是金子做的，我可以把毛刮下来卖钱，还有个人问我我的蓝眼睛是不是让我的视野带上了蓝色。后者是一个30岁的女人问的。
I am an American living in Japan. Not only did the kids I used to teach think the blonde hairs on my arms were made of gold, so that I could cut them off and sell them for money, I was asked if my blue eyes caused me to see the world through a blue tint. The latter was asked by a 30 year old woman.
我是个在日本生活的美国人。我教过的孩子们以为我胳膊上的金毛是金子做的，我可以把毛刮下来卖钱，还有个人问我我的蓝眼睛是不是让我的视野带上了蓝色。后者是一个30岁的女人问的。
PM_ME_UR_SHITS_GIRL
Soft drinks are called soft drinks in order to distinguish them from drinks with hard alcohol in them. Figured it out at like 28.
软饮料之所以叫软饮料，是因为要和里面有酒精的饮料区分。28岁那年我才懂。
Soft drinks are called soft drinks in order to distinguish them from drinks with hard alcohol in them. Figured it out at like 28.
软饮料之所以叫软饮料，是因为要和里面有酒精的饮料区分。28岁那年我才懂。
kurtsleftconverse
I found out a few months ago that foxes aren’t cats. It had never occurred to me to say this much about it, but my friends thought it was hilarious when I tried to defend myself.、
几个月之前我才发现狐狸不是猫科动物。之前我从来没认真讨论过这件事，但是在我为自己申辩的时候我朋友觉得很好笑。
I found out a few months ago that foxes aren’t cats. It had never occurred to me to say this much about it, but my friends thought it was hilarious when I tried to defend myself.、
几个月之前我才发现狐狸不是猫科动物。之前我从来没认真讨论过这件事，但是在我为自己申辩的时候我朋友觉得很好笑。
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