我是一个极度缺乏自信的人,我总是关注别人对我的看法,因为我害怕被评判。我如何提高自信,不再关心别人的想法,这样我才能做我自己?
2021-10-18 xky 13726
正文翻译

I'm a super extremely unconfident person and I always focus about what others think of me because I'm afraid of getting judged. How do I improve my confidence and stop caring about what others think so I can be myself?

我是一个极度缺乏自信的人,我总是关注别人对我的看法,因为我害怕被评判。我如何提高自信,不再关心别人的想法,这样我才能做我自己?

评论翻译
Heidi Heaven
Try growing up some and then you'll really not give a fuck. And I know that sounds mean to say, to tell someone to grow up but I mean it quite literally. Get some years on you and you'll start to care less and less.

试着成长一些,然后你就真的不在乎了。我知道这听起来意味着说,告诉某人长大,但我的意思是字面意思。过几年你就会越来越不在乎了。

Here's an example.
Years ago, I'm working at the radiology department in a very big hospital in the DC metropolitan area. We have all sorts of people in that waiting room and one happens to be this old man reading the paper. He's in his own little world. He's got white tube socks rolled up just below his knees. He's all into reading the world news as he leans over to the side to let out an enormous fart. This mother fucker just let one rip right in the waiting room full of people.

这里有一个例子。
几年前,我在华盛顿特区一家大医院的放射科工作。我们在候诊室里有各种各样的人,其中一个碰巧是正在看报的老人。他在自己的小世界里。他把白色短袜卷在膝盖下面。他全神贯注地阅读《世界新闻》,一边俯身放一个大屁。这个狗娘养的就像是在满是人的候诊室里开了一枪。

Not once did he take his eyes away from the paper. Zero fucks given.
It was truly admirable.
So just know that as you get older all that other stuff about caring what people think and how they might perceive you just seems silly. It just won't matter.

他一次也没有把目光从报纸上移开。真的操蛋。
但这真是令人钦佩。
所以你要知道,随着年龄的增长,关心别人的想法和他们对你的看法似乎都很愚蠢。这无关紧要。

And that my dear friend, is when you know you've got it right in life. These people aren't paying your bills, they don't know shit about you. And likely they really aren't caring all that much about YOU, anyway, because they're probably more focused on themselves.

我亲爱的朋友,当你知道你的生活是正确的时候。这些人不买你的账,他们对你一无所知。而且他们可能真的不太关心你,因为他们可能更关注自己。

Jason
I think part of that comes with the age. While you are getting older, you just could care less about what others think of you because there are more important things in life to focus on.

我想这部分是随着年龄的增长而来的。当你渐渐变老的时候,你就不必在意别人对你的看法了,因为生活中还有更重要的事情需要关注。

Mark Feather
Always remember that people have judged others for many different reasons.And what they accuse you of is what they are inside.You and you know what is inside of you.Dont let the world define what or who you are.Keep your head up and show those who would judge you who you really are.

永远记住,人们评判别人有很多不同的理由。他们指责你是因为他们的内心。你和你都知道你的内心。不要让世界定义你是什么或你是谁。抬起头,向那些评判你的人展示你的真实面目。

Joe Berah
I'm guessing you're quite young, and have yet to find yourself. If we haven't found ourselves yet, of course we're going to worry about what others find from us. Almost everybody goes through this. Some people are good at fronting up, but the insecurity is still there. As you age, the maturity sets in and you start realising two things:

我猜你很年轻,还没有找到自我。如果我们还没有发现自己,我们当然会担心别人从我们身上发现了什么。几乎每个人都经历过这个。有些人很善于站出来,但不安全感仍然存在。随着年龄的增长,成熟期开始到来,你开始意识到两件事:

The majority of people are so taken up by their own insecurities, that they don't even notice details about you.
Those that do are generally the people to steer away from. They are usually the most insecure themselves, and deal with their own insecurities by pinpointing yours.

1、大多数人被他们自己的不安全感所占据,以至于他们甚至没有注意到关于你的细节。
2、这些人通常是要避开的人。他们自己通常是最不安全的,通过指出你的不安全感来处理他们自己的不安全感。

When I was young, I would be petrified of the idea of being out on my own. Stupid, hey. I thought that people would think I'm a loser with no friends. I'd look around at people on their own and think they were falsely judging me as a loner. Then I realised that I wasn't thinking that of them, so why would they be thinking that of me? Then I started to realise my place in the universe, and while I am the most important person to myself, nobody else in public actually notices or cares about my existence, they are only worried about their own. When you humble yourself with the reality of your existence, life starts to get a little bit easier.

当我年轻的时候,我会被独自外出的想法吓呆。笨蛋,嘿。我以为人们会认为我是一个没有朋友的失败者。我会独自环顾四周的人,认为他们在错误地判断我是一个孤独的人。然后我意识到我完全没有去关注他们,为什么他们会关注到我呢?然后我开始意识到我在宇宙中的地位,虽然我对自己来说是最重要的人,但公众中没有人真正注意或关心我的存在,他们只担心自己的存在。当你谦卑地面对现实生活时,生活开始变得轻松一点。

Now don't get me wrong, if you walk down the street naked, that will draw judgement from others. But for 99.9% of your life, you are unnoticed by 99.9% of the public around you.
It just takes time and maturity to get to that point.
These days, yeah, I put the bins out in my underpants, and sing while walking my dogs, I make stupid noises and faces in public to make my kids laugh. Nobody cares, and if anyone does, I'll soon be forgotten about within 5 minutes. At worst, I'm the anonymous crazy guy that somebody walked past. That's fine.

别误会我的意思,如果你光着身子走在街上,那会引起别人的评判。但在你99.9%的生活中,你周围99.9%的公众都没有注意到你。
要明白这一点需要时间和成熟。
这些天,是的,我用内裤包着东西丢掉,边遛狗边唱歌,我在公共场合发出愚蠢的声音和做鬼脸来逗我的孩子们笑。没人在乎,如果有人在乎,我很快就会在5分钟内被遗忘。最坏的情况是,他们会认为我是一个匿名的疯子,有人从我身边走过。那很好。

Oh, and I love nothing more than to sit down at a Cafe or restaurant on my own, enjoying a quiet bite to eat whilst reading the news. What used to be a horrific prospect has become a luxury that I yearn for.

哦,我最喜欢的就是独自坐在咖啡馆或餐馆里,一边看新闻一边静静地吃着。曾经可怕的前景已经成为我向往的奢侈品。

Yuliana Kladova
“A **super extremely** unconfident” - these two words show that you love yourself very much and your attention is focused on your super extremly totally absolutely **dear **personality. Try to re-focus the inside view from yourself to other people and look how wonderfully they are different, amazingly creative, have sense of humour, have a lot of talents and valuing to look at them with regard.

“一个**极度**不自信”-这两个词表明你非常爱自己,你的注意力集中在你的超级极度绝对**亲爱的**个性上。试着把自己的内心世界重新聚焦到别人身上,看看他们是多么的与众不同,有着惊人的创造力,有幽默感,有很多天赋,并且很重视他们。

Thomas Platt
Be YOURSELF!
Nobody can judge you before they get to know you.
BTW, who are WE to judge others?
I stopped caring decades ago.
I am a single man with grandchildren and not dating anyone.
I’m not bad looking and I am who I am.
YOU do not have to impress anyone; again just be your self!
You sound like a fine catch/future wife!
Stop judging yourself!
What a fine question!
Be careful!

做你自己!
在他们了解你之前,没有人能评判你。
顺便说一句,谁有资格来评判别人?
几十年前我就不再关心了。
我是一个有孙子孙女的单身汉,没有和任何人约会。
我长得不错,我就是我自己。
你不必给任何人留下深刻印象;再一次做你自己!
你听起来像是一个很有前途的妻子!
别再评判你自己了!
多好的问题啊!
小心!

RetiredFitnessDude
You have the power to stop that behavior. That's a negative behavioral pattern. Whatever caused that type of thinking has to be addressed and stopped. That's what therapy is for. Your preconceived projected thoughts from other people are made up by you. Just as troublesome is the fact those people's opinions don't matter. Nobodies negative opinion of you matters.

你有能力阻止这种行为。这是一种消极的行为模式。无论是什么原因导致了这种想法,都必须加以解决和制止。这就是治疗的目的。你先入为主的来自他人的想法是由你编造的。同样令人烦恼的是,这些人的意见并不重要。没有人会在意你的负面看法。

Parents included. It's not something tangible. It's in their tiny head. Don't be around negative people. You have that choice as an adult. There's a reason that old man gets his mail in his boxers and black socks. He freed himself from his mind. He doesn't care. Copy that old man's behavior or even his dress code. “Let it go" is a survival trait that can bring happiness.

包括父母在内。这不是有形的东西。就在他们小小的脑袋里。不要和消极的人在一起。作为一个成年人,你能做出选择。这位老人穿着拳击服和黑袜子收到邮件是有原因的。他把自己从思想中解放出来。他不在乎。模仿那个老人的行为甚至他的着装规范。“放手”是一种能带来幸福的生存特质。

John Weyland
one can examine experience and make sense of it, and so understand people
one can develop abilities that empower one, like considering others, and seeing the big picture
one can obxtify their truths by having them affirmed by good people
= confidence. but nothing is perfect

一个人可以审视经验并理解它,从而理解人们。
一个人可以发展赋予自己权力的能力,比如考虑他人,看到全局。
人们可以通过好人的肯定来客观化他们的真理。
要对自己有信心。但要知道没有什么是完美的。

原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Jan Harley
You can improve your self-image by going after your passions in life and setting goals.
This will build your self-confidence.
Make good choices.
Best to you!

你可以通过追求生活中的激情和设定目标来改善自我形象。
这将建立你的自信。
做出正确的选择。
祝你好运!

原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


Pete Salas
Do things that you are proud of. Not things that you think you should be proud of. Not things that other people say you should be proud of. Things you would actually be proud of when your head hits the pillow each night and it's just you.
Become a person you're proud to be and you'll stop caring what other people think of you.

做你引以为傲的事情。不是你认为你应该骄傲的事情。不是别人说你应该骄傲的事情。每天晚上,当你的头枕在枕头上时,你会感到自豪的事情,只有你自己。
成为一个你引以为傲的人,你就不会在意别人怎么看你了。

RW Smythe
There are always people around who will “judge” you. Some of these will have no actual power over you, while a few others will be more crucial, such as potential employers or potential spouses. Ignore the first and “choose your battles carefully” with regard to the latter two groups.
The problem with “being yourself” is that “yourself” might not always be “acceptable” to the general run of people. That can have bad effects on you.

周围总有人会“评判”你。其中一些对你没有实际的影响力,而另外一些则更为重要,比如潜在雇主或潜在配偶。关注后两组,忽略第一组,并“谨慎选择战斗”。
“做你自己”的问题是,“你自己”可能并不总是被一般人“接受”。那会对你有不良影响。

Kumar Potha
To be to oneself, one should try loving oneself first. Thank you. All the best. Happy living.

做自己,首先要试着爱自己。非常感谢。祝你一切顺利。生活幸福。

Motivateself
From what i gathered, maybe you are insecure about yourself,We all are insecure of something. Some are very much insecure while others are not. There are many ways to overcome feeling insecurity but each way work different for other. So you do the best for you. In order to stop feeling insecure, first find out the root cause that what is the actual reason that Is making you feel that wat. Then talk with a person who you trust and stop judging yourself. For more ways on how to stop feeling insecure

从我收集的信息来看,也许是因为你对自己的不安全感,我们都对某些事情不安全。有些人非常不安全,而另一些人则不然。克服不安全感的方法有很多,但每种方法的效果不同。所以你为你做的最好。为了停止不安全感,首先找出根本原因,什么是真正的原因,使你感到不安全。然后和一个你信任的人谈谈,停止评判自己。

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