你想要孩子吗?为什么或为什么不?（上）
正文翻译
Do you want to have children? Why or why not?
你想要孩子吗?为什么或为什么不?
Do you want to have children? Why or why not?
你想要孩子吗?为什么或为什么不?
评论翻译
Michelle Roque, lives in The Philippines
It’s really interesting to see a number of women answering “no” to having children. Let me add myself to this particular group.
For as long as I can remember, babies have never really appealed to me. I don’t even have to enumerate the most common reasons for not having children such as it being a huge responsibility and valuing one’s personal time. I probably just don’t have the temperament or right “motherly instinct” to appreciate having them in my life.
I understand that there are still some notions that a woman has ovaries therefore she must give birth and in fact I might change my mind about bearing a child someday, but for now it’s a no go.
有趣的是，很多女性都拒绝要孩子。我把自己归入到这个特别的小组。
在我记忆中，婴儿从来没有真正吸引过我。我甚至不必列举没有孩子的最常见的原因，比如这是一项巨大的责任和耗费个人时间。我可能只是没有气质或正确的“母性本能”来欣赏在婴儿的出现。
我知道仍然有一些观念认为女人有卵巢，所以她必须生孩子，事实上我可能会改变主意，某一天要生孩子，但现在（我认为）是不可能的。
It’s really interesting to see a number of women answering “no” to having children. Let me add myself to this particular group.
For as long as I can remember, babies have never really appealed to me. I don’t even have to enumerate the most common reasons for not having children such as it being a huge responsibility and valuing one’s personal time. I probably just don’t have the temperament or right “motherly instinct” to appreciate having them in my life.
I understand that there are still some notions that a woman has ovaries therefore she must give birth and in fact I might change my mind about bearing a child someday, but for now it’s a no go.
有趣的是，很多女性都拒绝要孩子。我把自己归入到这个特别的小组。
在我记忆中，婴儿从来没有真正吸引过我。我甚至不必列举没有孩子的最常见的原因，比如这是一项巨大的责任和耗费个人时间。我可能只是没有气质或正确的“母性本能”来欣赏在婴儿的出现。
我知道仍然有一些观念认为女人有卵巢，所以她必须生孩子，事实上我可能会改变主意，某一天要生孩子，但现在（我认为）是不可能的。
Jeremi Shearon
Nope. I don’t want kids.
I absolutely love my freedom.
It might sound hypocritical because my health condition does not allow me to have kids but I tell you, I absolutely love my ‘ME’ time every day.
Whenever there is a friend’s gathering, here is what I listen to.
‘DO NOT RUN’.
‘SHARE YOUR TOYS’.
‘BECAUSE I SAY SO. THAT’S WHY.’
‘DON’T DO THIS.’
‘GO TO YOUR ROOM’.
So, two weeks ago, I was talking to one of my best friends and said, ‘Snehal, you know what. Many times my husband and I have nothing to talk about. Maybe when we will have kids we will have something common to speak about.’
To which she said, ‘Then you will have ‘only’ kids to talk about. That’s how my life is. Boring. Bad idea, Ankita. Enjoy the alone time till you can.’
I sometimes look at my mother-in-law who keeps herself busy fanaticizing in her world where she is busy with her grandkid.
I smile sheepishly when she says, ‘Get better soon. I want to see my grandkids.’
Honestly, I don’t know how things will turn out to be.
Maybe a couple of years later, you would see me posting my pictures with my kids saying how good it feels to read stories to them, teaching them to say please and thank you, asking them to get up early, and so on.
Till then, let me enjoy my independence day.
不，我不想要孩子。
我绝对在乎我的自由状态。
这听起来可能很虚伪，因为我的健康状况不允许我生孩子，但我告诉你，我绝对热爱每天属于“我”的时间。
每当有朋友聚会时，我都会听以下内容。
“不要跑”。
“分享你的玩具”。
”“因为我是这么说。这就是为什么。”
“不要这样做。”
“去你的房间”。
所以，两周前，我和我最好的一个朋友聊天时说，‘斯内哈尔(Snehal)，你知道吗。很多时候，我和我丈夫没有什么可谈的。也许当我们有孩子的时候，我们会有一些共同的话题"
她说，‘那么就只有孩子这一个话题可以谈了。’。这就是我的生活。无趣而且是个坏主意，Ankita.。尽可能享受独处的时光。”
我有时会看到我的婆婆，她总是忙于狂热地生活在自己的世界里，她正忙于照顾她的孙子。
当她说“快点好起来，我想看看我的孙子们”时，我不好意思地笑了。
老实说，我不知道事情会变成什么样子。
也许几年后，你会看到上传的我和孩子们一起的照片，教他们说“请”和“谢谢”，让他们早起，等等。
在那之前，让我享受我的独立时光。
Nope. I don’t want kids.
I absolutely love my freedom.
It might sound hypocritical because my health condition does not allow me to have kids but I tell you, I absolutely love my ‘ME’ time every day.
Whenever there is a friend’s gathering, here is what I listen to.
‘DO NOT RUN’.
‘SHARE YOUR TOYS’.
‘BECAUSE I SAY SO. THAT’S WHY.’
‘DON’T DO THIS.’
‘GO TO YOUR ROOM’.
So, two weeks ago, I was talking to one of my best friends and said, ‘Snehal, you know what. Many times my husband and I have nothing to talk about. Maybe when we will have kids we will have something common to speak about.’
To which she said, ‘Then you will have ‘only’ kids to talk about. That’s how my life is. Boring. Bad idea, Ankita. Enjoy the alone time till you can.’
I sometimes look at my mother-in-law who keeps herself busy fanaticizing in her world where she is busy with her grandkid.
I smile sheepishly when she says, ‘Get better soon. I want to see my grandkids.’
Honestly, I don’t know how things will turn out to be.
Maybe a couple of years later, you would see me posting my pictures with my kids saying how good it feels to read stories to them, teaching them to say please and thank you, asking them to get up early, and so on.
Till then, let me enjoy my independence day.
不，我不想要孩子。
我绝对在乎我的自由状态。
这听起来可能很虚伪，因为我的健康状况不允许我生孩子，但我告诉你，我绝对热爱每天属于“我”的时间。
每当有朋友聚会时，我都会听以下内容。
“不要跑”。
“分享你的玩具”。
”“因为我是这么说。这就是为什么。”
“不要这样做。”
“去你的房间”。
所以，两周前，我和我最好的一个朋友聊天时说，‘斯内哈尔(Snehal)，你知道吗。很多时候，我和我丈夫没有什么可谈的。也许当我们有孩子的时候，我们会有一些共同的话题"
她说，‘那么就只有孩子这一个话题可以谈了。’。这就是我的生活。无趣而且是个坏主意，Ankita.。尽可能享受独处的时光。”
我有时会看到我的婆婆，她总是忙于狂热地生活在自己的世界里，她正忙于照顾她的孙子。
当她说“快点好起来，我想看看我的孙子们”时，我不好意思地笑了。
老实说，我不知道事情会变成什么样子。
也许几年后，你会看到上传的我和孩子们一起的照片，教他们说“请”和“谢谢”，让他们早起，等等。
在那之前，让我享受我的独立时光。
Tina Bauer, B.S. Interdisciplinary Studies (2019)
蒂娜·鲍尔，跨学科研究理学学士（2019年）
蒂娜·鲍尔，跨学科研究理学学士（2019年）
When I was little I swore I would never have any children. Since then I’ve healed and grown fond of the idea. Now with the right man I am excited about giving birth to children. Still terrified about giving birth and being pregnant but excited about parenting with my amazing husband.
I think it’s a sign that my husband is the one because I want to have kids with him. Before him I never really wanted to give birth to children. When we were dating he told me he wanted to have children but they didn’t necessarily have to be children I gave birth to.
We’ve talked about having birth children and adopting children. We’ve got a plan and I’m excited to have my husband’s babies and provide a family for other children in need - if need be.
小时候我曾发誓我永远不会有孩子。至今我已经转变了想法，并且开始喜欢小孩。现在有了合适的男人，我很高兴能生孩子。但仍然对生孩子和怀孕感到恐惧，但对和我了不起的丈夫一起抚养孩子感到兴奋。
我想这是一个信号，我丈夫是我的唯一，因为我想和他生孩子。在他之前，我从未真正想过要生孩子。当我们约会时，他告诉我他想要孩子，但他们（可以）不一定是我生的孩子。
我们讨论过生孩子和领养孩子。我们已经有了一个计划，我很高兴能有我丈夫的孩子，并为其他需要帮助的孩子提供一个家庭—如果需要的话。
I think it’s a sign that my husband is the one because I want to have kids with him. Before him I never really wanted to give birth to children. When we were dating he told me he wanted to have children but they didn’t necessarily have to be children I gave birth to.
We’ve talked about having birth children and adopting children. We’ve got a plan and I’m excited to have my husband’s babies and provide a family for other children in need - if need be.
小时候我曾发誓我永远不会有孩子。至今我已经转变了想法，并且开始喜欢小孩。现在有了合适的男人，我很高兴能生孩子。但仍然对生孩子和怀孕感到恐惧，但对和我了不起的丈夫一起抚养孩子感到兴奋。
我想这是一个信号，我丈夫是我的唯一，因为我想和他生孩子。在他之前，我从未真正想过要生孩子。当我们约会时，他告诉我他想要孩子，但他们（可以）不一定是我生的孩子。
我们讨论过生孩子和领养孩子。我们已经有了一个计划，我很高兴能有我丈夫的孩子，并为其他需要帮助的孩子提供一个家庭—如果需要的话。
Sofia Nipenthes, Bachelor Sociology (2005)
Sofia Nipenthes，社会学学士（2005年）
Sofia Nipenthes，社会学学士（2005年）
God no.
I’m a year younger (38) than the age my grandmother was when she became a grandmother (39). Thinking about this feels extremely surreal, as I don’t feel old enough to have a child, let alone a grandchild.
Though I know I will never feel old enough (or “ready”) to have a child. The thought feels me with dread, not longing. And that’s how I know that I don’t want children.
I like children; my friends’ kids usually spend a weekend a month at my place. We play games, make forts, and eat pancakes for breakfast while watching the Disney channel. I really like having them over.
I am perfectly happy with being the cool aunt. No desire whatsoever to be a mom.
天哪，不。
我比我祖母成为祖母时的年龄（39岁）小一岁（38岁）。想到这一点感觉非常不真实，因为我觉得自己还没有到生孩子的年龄，更不用说孙子了。
虽然我知道我永远都不会觉得自己足够大（或“准备好”）有孩子了。这种想法使我感到恐惧，而不是渴望。这就是为什么我知道我不想要孩子。
我喜欢孩子；我朋友的孩子们通常每个月在我的住处度过一个周末。我们一边看迪斯尼频道，一边玩游戏，建造堡垒，早餐吃煎饼。我真的很喜欢请他们过来。
我很高兴能当个酷阿姨，但根本不想当妈妈。
I’m a year younger (38) than the age my grandmother was when she became a grandmother (39). Thinking about this feels extremely surreal, as I don’t feel old enough to have a child, let alone a grandchild.
Though I know I will never feel old enough (or “ready”) to have a child. The thought feels me with dread, not longing. And that’s how I know that I don’t want children.
I like children; my friends’ kids usually spend a weekend a month at my place. We play games, make forts, and eat pancakes for breakfast while watching the Disney channel. I really like having them over.
I am perfectly happy with being the cool aunt. No desire whatsoever to be a mom.
天哪，不。
我比我祖母成为祖母时的年龄（39岁）小一岁（38岁）。想到这一点感觉非常不真实，因为我觉得自己还没有到生孩子的年龄，更不用说孙子了。
虽然我知道我永远都不会觉得自己足够大（或“准备好”）有孩子了。这种想法使我感到恐惧，而不是渴望。这就是为什么我知道我不想要孩子。
我喜欢孩子；我朋友的孩子们通常每个月在我的住处度过一个周末。我们一边看迪斯尼频道，一边玩游戏，建造堡垒，早餐吃煎饼。我真的很喜欢请他们过来。
我很高兴能当个酷阿姨，但根本不想当妈妈。
Neha Jha, Writer, Features Journalist, Podcaster
No, I don’t want to have kids.
I decided that pretty early, sometime in my early 20s. As I grew older, new reasons for not having kids kept getting added to my list. Contrary to what people say, most people who are childfree DO NOT change their minds. Its something the society says to shame them, I feel, because it goes against the basic tenets of marriage & family. This ‘choice’ of staying childfree rattles beliefs of conformists.
And men’s attitude towards a woman deciding to not be a mother is stupid! They don’t have to do anything, their opinion does not matter. Its my body, my decision.
My reasons are practical and there’s no way anyone can claim its in my head or that I’m making assumptions.
不，我不想要孩子。
我很早就决定了，在我20出头的时候。随着年龄的增长，不要孩子的新原因不断增加到我的理由列表上。与人们所说的相反，大多数没有孩子的人不会改变主意。我觉得，这是社会为了羞辱他们而说的话，因为这违背了婚姻和家庭的基本原则。这种不带孩子的“选择”动摇了墨守成规者的信念。
男人对决定不做母亲的女人的态度是愚蠢的！他们不必做任何事，他们的意见无关紧要。这是我的身体，由我决定。
我的理由很实际，没有人会说这是我的想法，或者我在做假设。
No, I don’t want to have kids.
I decided that pretty early, sometime in my early 20s. As I grew older, new reasons for not having kids kept getting added to my list. Contrary to what people say, most people who are childfree DO NOT change their minds. Its something the society says to shame them, I feel, because it goes against the basic tenets of marriage & family. This ‘choice’ of staying childfree rattles beliefs of conformists.
And men’s attitude towards a woman deciding to not be a mother is stupid! They don’t have to do anything, their opinion does not matter. Its my body, my decision.
My reasons are practical and there’s no way anyone can claim its in my head or that I’m making assumptions.
不，我不想要孩子。
我很早就决定了，在我20出头的时候。随着年龄的增长，不要孩子的新原因不断增加到我的理由列表上。与人们所说的相反，大多数没有孩子的人不会改变主意。我觉得，这是社会为了羞辱他们而说的话，因为这违背了婚姻和家庭的基本原则。这种不带孩子的“选择”动摇了墨守成规者的信念。
男人对决定不做母亲的女人的态度是愚蠢的！他们不必做任何事，他们的意见无关紧要。这是我的身体，由我决定。
我的理由很实际，没有人会说这是我的想法，或者我在做假设。
In fact, affording a good life for kids is impossible. You’ll have to sell all the organs in your body to get them a good education from a private school.
Having kids will destroy my body & nobody will support me because Pregnancy and childbirth take a huge toll on a woman’s physical & mental health. But no one cares. Because its her duty to keep sacrificing till her last breath.
In spite of that, the kid will not be mine. Father’s name, father’s side of the family will be the child’s family, not mine. Why? I was the one who gave birth. The child should use Mother’s Last Name/Surname and my family should be his. No! The woman does all the work and the father gets all the benefits!
Fathers can do whatever they want and some of them are not even attached to their kids. I have seen some of my teachers staying in abusive marriages where the father would place the entire burden of childcare on the mother. Most fathers are happy to be the child’s ATM machine only.
My career will go nowhere. Just going to the office is not enough. I’d want growth, promotion, business trips, freelancing & more. But once a woman turns 30, the opportunities become scarce and she’s gradually ousted by the company. I saw that happen in The Times of India with a colleague. She was not given any opportunity and always mocked because she had a kid.
I want a good sex life & that’s absolutely not possible after kids. In fact, most husbands have extra-marital affairs when their wives are pregnant. Remember Tiger Woods?
I’ve certain mental health issues that are hereditary. Doesn’t make any sense to keep the trauma going.
The world is anyway overpopulated. Why add to the burden of an already dying planet?
All of us, childfree people do not owe any explanation to anyone for our personal decision. Its time people understand that and let us be.
事实上，让孩子过上好生活是不可能的。为了让他们从私立学校接受良好的教育，你必须卖掉你体内的所有器官。
有孩子会毁了我的身体,没有人会支持我，因为怀孕和分娩对妇女的身心健康造成了巨大的损害。但没人在乎。因为她有责任一直牺牲到生命的最后一刻。
尽管如此，这孩子还不是我的。父亲的名字，父亲一方的家庭将是孩子的家庭，而不是我的。为什么？孩子是我生的。就应该使用母亲的姓，不该女人生孩子，父亲得到所有的好处！
父亲们可以做任何他们想做的事，而他们中的一些人甚至不依恋他们的孩子。我见过我的一些老师在受虐待的婚姻中待着，父亲会把照顾孩子的全部负担都推给母亲。大多数父亲都乐于成为孩子的自动取款机。
我的事业将一事无成。仅仅去办公室是不够的。我想要成长、晋升、商务旅行、自由职业等等。但一旦女性年满30岁，机会就会变得稀缺，并逐渐被公司抛弃。我和一位同事在《印度时报》上看到了这种情况。因为她有一个孩子，她没有得到任何机会，总是被嘲笑。
我想要一个好的性生活，这在孩子们之后是绝对不可能的。事实上，大多数丈夫在妻子怀孕时都有婚外情。还记得老虎伍兹吗？
我有一些遗传性的心理健康问题。让创伤继续下去没有任何意义。
总之，世界人口过剩。为什么要给这个已经奄奄一息的星球加重负担？
我们所有人，无子女的人不必为我们的个人决定向任何人解释。是时候让人们理解这一点了，让我们保持冷静。
Having kids will destroy my body & nobody will support me because Pregnancy and childbirth take a huge toll on a woman’s physical & mental health. But no one cares. Because its her duty to keep sacrificing till her last breath.
In spite of that, the kid will not be mine. Father’s name, father’s side of the family will be the child’s family, not mine. Why? I was the one who gave birth. The child should use Mother’s Last Name/Surname and my family should be his. No! The woman does all the work and the father gets all the benefits!
Fathers can do whatever they want and some of them are not even attached to their kids. I have seen some of my teachers staying in abusive marriages where the father would place the entire burden of childcare on the mother. Most fathers are happy to be the child’s ATM machine only.
My career will go nowhere. Just going to the office is not enough. I’d want growth, promotion, business trips, freelancing & more. But once a woman turns 30, the opportunities become scarce and she’s gradually ousted by the company. I saw that happen in The Times of India with a colleague. She was not given any opportunity and always mocked because she had a kid.
I want a good sex life & that’s absolutely not possible after kids. In fact, most husbands have extra-marital affairs when their wives are pregnant. Remember Tiger Woods?
I’ve certain mental health issues that are hereditary. Doesn’t make any sense to keep the trauma going.
The world is anyway overpopulated. Why add to the burden of an already dying planet?
All of us, childfree people do not owe any explanation to anyone for our personal decision. Its time people understand that and let us be.
事实上，让孩子过上好生活是不可能的。为了让他们从私立学校接受良好的教育，你必须卖掉你体内的所有器官。
有孩子会毁了我的身体,没有人会支持我，因为怀孕和分娩对妇女的身心健康造成了巨大的损害。但没人在乎。因为她有责任一直牺牲到生命的最后一刻。
尽管如此，这孩子还不是我的。父亲的名字，父亲一方的家庭将是孩子的家庭，而不是我的。为什么？孩子是我生的。就应该使用母亲的姓，不该女人生孩子，父亲得到所有的好处！
父亲们可以做任何他们想做的事，而他们中的一些人甚至不依恋他们的孩子。我见过我的一些老师在受虐待的婚姻中待着，父亲会把照顾孩子的全部负担都推给母亲。大多数父亲都乐于成为孩子的自动取款机。
我的事业将一事无成。仅仅去办公室是不够的。我想要成长、晋升、商务旅行、自由职业等等。但一旦女性年满30岁，机会就会变得稀缺，并逐渐被公司抛弃。我和一位同事在《印度时报》上看到了这种情况。因为她有一个孩子，她没有得到任何机会，总是被嘲笑。
我想要一个好的性生活，这在孩子们之后是绝对不可能的。事实上，大多数丈夫在妻子怀孕时都有婚外情。还记得老虎伍兹吗？
我有一些遗传性的心理健康问题。让创伤继续下去没有任何意义。
总之，世界人口过剩。为什么要给这个已经奄奄一息的星球加重负担？
我们所有人，无子女的人不必为我们的个人决定向任何人解释。是时候让人们理解这一点了，让我们保持冷静。
Jordan Yates, Proud owner of a gently-used family. Not all there, but mostly functional.
Probably not.
And I require no justification.
It’s a weird thing—when someone wants to have kids they can say “I’ve just always known that I did!” But if you don’t want kids and you say that, people demand an explanation.
There must be a reason. Did you have a bad childhood? You know, you were a kid once, too.
And I don’t have a reason. Yeah, I want to travel, but you can do that with kids (with careful planning ).
Yeah, I want to do whatever. But I could probably do more than enough whatever with kids.
可能不会。
我不需要任何理由。
当有人想要孩子时，他们可以说“我一直都知道我想要！”这是一件很奇怪的事情。但是如果你不想要孩子，你这么说，人们就会要求解释。
一定有原因：你的童年不好吗？你知道，你也曾经是个孩子。
我也没有理由。是的，我想去旅行—但你可以和孩子一起去旅行（有仔细的计划）。
我想做任何事。但我可以和孩子做更多的事情。
Probably not.
And I require no justification.
It’s a weird thing—when someone wants to have kids they can say “I’ve just always known that I did!” But if you don’t want kids and you say that, people demand an explanation.
There must be a reason. Did you have a bad childhood? You know, you were a kid once, too.
And I don’t have a reason. Yeah, I want to travel, but you can do that with kids (with careful planning ).
Yeah, I want to do whatever. But I could probably do more than enough whatever with kids.
可能不会。
我不需要任何理由。
当有人想要孩子时，他们可以说“我一直都知道我想要！”这是一件很奇怪的事情。但是如果你不想要孩子，你这么说，人们就会要求解释。
一定有原因：你的童年不好吗？你知道，你也曾经是个孩子。
我也没有理由。是的，我想去旅行—但你可以和孩子一起去旅行（有仔细的计划）。
我想做任何事。但我可以和孩子做更多的事情。
Yeah, I don’t like screaming. Who does? Certainly not parents.
The reason I give you no reason is that if I do, I guarantee someone will try to argue about why my reason is bullshit.
So I’ll say this.
I’ve never wanted kids. I’ve always known that I’ve never wanted kids. There’s never been a question in my mind about never wanting kids.
我不喜欢有人尖叫。是谁尖叫？当然不是父母。
我不给你理由的原因是，如果我给了，我保证会有人试图争论我的理由纯属是胡说八道。
所以我要这么说。
我从来都不想要孩子。我一直都知道我从不想要孩子。我从来没有想过要孩子。
The reason I give you no reason is that if I do, I guarantee someone will try to argue about why my reason is bullshit.
So I’ll say this.
I’ve never wanted kids. I’ve always known that I’ve never wanted kids. There’s never been a question in my mind about never wanting kids.
我不喜欢有人尖叫。是谁尖叫？当然不是父母。
我不给你理由的原因是，如果我给了，我保证会有人试图争论我的理由纯属是胡说八道。
所以我要这么说。
我从来都不想要孩子。我一直都知道我从不想要孩子。我从来没有想过要孩子。
Just like all those people who say they’ve always wanted them.
If you tell me I’m too young to know, I’ll remind you that many people my age say for certain that they want kids and they’re not faced with that criticism. (Even better—people my age choose to have children. Not just accidents. Planned children. If they can do that, then I can choose the opposite.)
Of course I could change my mind. Anyone can change their mind on anything.
But believe me when I tell you:
I don’t want kids.
It just isn’t in the cards for me.
No, I don’t hate kids and no, I don’t think parents are stupid and no, I don’t care if you want kids.
Live your life.
I’ll live mine—child-free.
就像那些说他们一直想要孩子的人一样。
如果你告诉我，我还太年轻，我会提醒你，许多和我同龄的人肯定说他们想要孩子，他们不会面临这样的批评。（甚至我这个年纪的人都会选择生孩子。不仅仅是意外怀孕。而是有计划的生育。如果他们能做到这一点，那么我就可以选择相反的方式。）
我当然可以改变主意。任何人都可以在任何事情上改变主意。
但当我告诉你我不想要孩子时，请相信我。
只是我不太可能。
不，我不讨厌孩子，不，我不认为父母是愚蠢的，我也不在乎你是否想要孩子。
过你的生活就好。
我将过我的没有孩子的生活。
If you tell me I’m too young to know, I’ll remind you that many people my age say for certain that they want kids and they’re not faced with that criticism. (Even better—people my age choose to have children. Not just accidents. Planned children. If they can do that, then I can choose the opposite.)
Of course I could change my mind. Anyone can change their mind on anything.
But believe me when I tell you:
I don’t want kids.
It just isn’t in the cards for me.
No, I don’t hate kids and no, I don’t think parents are stupid and no, I don’t care if you want kids.
Live your life.
I’ll live mine—child-free.
就像那些说他们一直想要孩子的人一样。
如果你告诉我，我还太年轻，我会提醒你，许多和我同龄的人肯定说他们想要孩子，他们不会面临这样的批评。（甚至我这个年纪的人都会选择生孩子。不仅仅是意外怀孕。而是有计划的生育。如果他们能做到这一点，那么我就可以选择相反的方式。）
我当然可以改变主意。任何人都可以在任何事情上改变主意。
但当我告诉你我不想要孩子时，请相信我。
只是我不太可能。
不，我不讨厌孩子，不，我不认为父母是愚蠢的，我也不在乎你是否想要孩子。
过你的生活就好。
我将过我的没有孩子的生活。
Nikki Ferguson, lives in London
I do want to have children and ideally 2-3 children, but it's not going to happen anytime soon as I have career goals to fulfil in the meantime. I'm 26 years old and closer to becoming a barrister. Afterwards, I would want to journey on motherhood and I have a positive mindset that I would be a good mother and nurturer. I work as a volunteer for foster homes since I was 19 and I just always see myself as a mother someday. If it so happens that I become pregnant unexpectedly, I would not have a second thought to choose raising my child and delaying my personal goal and/or rather terminating the pregnancy.
My personal choice of wanting to have children is neither out of society’s expectation to me as a woman, nor having someone to take care of me when I’m old, but because of a significant reason that it will bring me fulfilment. I want to create a family that is full of joy and love where my husband and I can be affectionate towards our children, whether biological or illegitimate. I imagine myself dressing up my daughter the most fashionable tutu dress, styling their hair and watching Disney movies with them. As for me, children give sense to life and make it even more worth living.
Having or not having children is a matter of personal choice. It’s acceptable if a person wants to have kids, and it’s acceptable if a person doesn’t want kids, too. Society must learn to cope with the ever-evolving modern world.
我确实想要孩子，最好是2至3个孩子，但这不会很快发生，因为我同时要实现职业目标。我今年26岁，即将成为一名律师。之后，我想踏上做母亲的旅程，我有一个积极的心态，我会成为一个好母亲和养育者。我从19岁起就在寄养家庭做志愿者，总有一天我会把自己当成母亲。如果我意外怀孕了，我会毫不犹豫地选择抚养我的孩子，推迟我的个人目标，而不是终止妊娠。
我个人选择想要孩子，既不是出于社会对我作为一个女人的期望，也不是因为我老了以后有人照顾我，而是因为一个重要的原因，这会给我带来成就感。我想建立一个充满欢乐和爱的家庭，在这里我和丈夫可以对我们的孩子充满感情，无论是亲生的还是非婚生的。我想象自己给女儿穿上最时髦的短裙，给她们做发型，和她们一起看迪斯尼电影。对我来说，孩子让生活变得有意义，让生活变得更有价值。
有没有孩子是个人的选择。如果一个人想要孩子是可以接受的，如果一个人不想要孩子也是可以接受的。必须学会应对不断发展的现代世界。
I do want to have children and ideally 2-3 children, but it's not going to happen anytime soon as I have career goals to fulfil in the meantime. I'm 26 years old and closer to becoming a barrister. Afterwards, I would want to journey on motherhood and I have a positive mindset that I would be a good mother and nurturer. I work as a volunteer for foster homes since I was 19 and I just always see myself as a mother someday. If it so happens that I become pregnant unexpectedly, I would not have a second thought to choose raising my child and delaying my personal goal and/or rather terminating the pregnancy.
My personal choice of wanting to have children is neither out of society’s expectation to me as a woman, nor having someone to take care of me when I’m old, but because of a significant reason that it will bring me fulfilment. I want to create a family that is full of joy and love where my husband and I can be affectionate towards our children, whether biological or illegitimate. I imagine myself dressing up my daughter the most fashionable tutu dress, styling their hair and watching Disney movies with them. As for me, children give sense to life and make it even more worth living.
Having or not having children is a matter of personal choice. It’s acceptable if a person wants to have kids, and it’s acceptable if a person doesn’t want kids, too. Society must learn to cope with the ever-evolving modern world.
我确实想要孩子，最好是2至3个孩子，但这不会很快发生，因为我同时要实现职业目标。我今年26岁，即将成为一名律师。之后，我想踏上做母亲的旅程，我有一个积极的心态，我会成为一个好母亲和养育者。我从19岁起就在寄养家庭做志愿者，总有一天我会把自己当成母亲。如果我意外怀孕了，我会毫不犹豫地选择抚养我的孩子，推迟我的个人目标，而不是终止妊娠。
我个人选择想要孩子，既不是出于社会对我作为一个女人的期望，也不是因为我老了以后有人照顾我，而是因为一个重要的原因，这会给我带来成就感。我想建立一个充满欢乐和爱的家庭，在这里我和丈夫可以对我们的孩子充满感情，无论是亲生的还是非婚生的。我想象自己给女儿穿上最时髦的短裙，给她们做发型，和她们一起看迪斯尼电影。对我来说，孩子让生活变得有意义，让生活变得更有价值。
有没有孩子是个人的选择。如果一个人想要孩子是可以接受的，如果一个人不想要孩子也是可以接受的。必须学会应对不断发展的现代世界。
Claudia S
Wanting to have kids came in phases. When I was a teenager and young child, I always said I wanted a huge family, so my children wouldn’t suffer like I did, as an only child. I pictured myself being surrounded by a loving, vibrant family. But then I grew up and left California to live abroad in Europe, far away from my relatives and family members.
When I reached my 20s, the idea of having children completely disappeared. I was too busy studying, working, partying, living a reckless life. After many chaotic years and failed relationships, I started thinking about having a family again. Rather, wondering what am I doing with my life.
Towards my late 20s, when I met my husband, I felt a lot of personal pressure to have children before it’s “too late”. Guess that’s something most women start feeling when they slowly reach their 30s. My husband also wanted kids and we talked about it already when we first met, but he said someday in the future, not yet.
想要孩子是分阶段的。当我还是一个十几岁的孩子时，我总是说我想要一个大家庭，这样我的孩子就不会像我这样受苦，因为我是独生子。我想象自己被一个充满爱和活力的家庭包围着。但后来我长大了，离开加利福尼亚到国外去到欧洲生活—远离我的亲戚和家人。
当我20多岁时，生孩子的想法完全消失了。我忙于学习、工作、聚会，过着粗心大意的生活。在经历了多年的混沌生活和失败的婚姻关系后，我开始考虑重新组建一个家庭。而不会瞎想如何过将来的生活。
快30岁时候，当我遇到我的丈夫时，我感到了很大的个人压力，在“太晚”之前要孩子。我猜这是大多数女性在30多岁时开始感觉到的。我丈夫也想要孩子，我们第一次见面时就谈过了，他说总有一天会的，但现在还不是时候。
Wanting to have kids came in phases. When I was a teenager and young child, I always said I wanted a huge family, so my children wouldn’t suffer like I did, as an only child. I pictured myself being surrounded by a loving, vibrant family. But then I grew up and left California to live abroad in Europe, far away from my relatives and family members.
When I reached my 20s, the idea of having children completely disappeared. I was too busy studying, working, partying, living a reckless life. After many chaotic years and failed relationships, I started thinking about having a family again. Rather, wondering what am I doing with my life.
Towards my late 20s, when I met my husband, I felt a lot of personal pressure to have children before it’s “too late”. Guess that’s something most women start feeling when they slowly reach their 30s. My husband also wanted kids and we talked about it already when we first met, but he said someday in the future, not yet.
想要孩子是分阶段的。当我还是一个十几岁的孩子时，我总是说我想要一个大家庭，这样我的孩子就不会像我这样受苦，因为我是独生子。我想象自己被一个充满爱和活力的家庭包围着。但后来我长大了，离开加利福尼亚到国外去到欧洲生活—远离我的亲戚和家人。
当我20多岁时，生孩子的想法完全消失了。我忙于学习、工作、聚会，过着粗心大意的生活。在经历了多年的混沌生活和失败的婚姻关系后，我开始考虑重新组建一个家庭。而不会瞎想如何过将来的生活。
快30岁时候，当我遇到我的丈夫时，我感到了很大的个人压力，在“太晚”之前要孩子。我猜这是大多数女性在30多岁时开始感觉到的。我丈夫也想要孩子，我们第一次见面时就谈过了，他说总有一天会的，但现在还不是时候。
Well here I am, turning 34 in September, and it seems I’ve changed my mind for the most part about having children. Apart from having BPD, I’m taking medical cannabis for depression (past two years) and thyroid medication for the rest of my life, since I got diagnosed with Hashimotos last year. I look at my health issues and medication needed to even function like a human being, and wonder how I would ever manage to properly take care of a child, let alone children. What are the chances my children will also inherit my complications and live miserable lives? Do I really want to take that risk, just for the sake of continuing our blood lines?
Neither of us have family to help us out, if we were to have children, whether to look after them once in a while, or any other means. I’ve also come to realise since being married to my husband that he just likes the idea of having it all: the house with white picket fence, the wife, dog, children. He isn’t interested in all the work involved. Neither of us have ever felt those parental instincts when interacting with other babies or children. We already have the house and dog, but I’m the one taking care of things. We enjoy our quiet time and freedom, him even more so than myself. Maybe having children would change us, and we would grow to love our new life, but looking from a realistic perspective, I don’t see us drastically changing in a positive sense if children were to come into our lives.
如今，我到九月份就要4岁了，我对生孩子的想法很大程度上发生都改变了。自从去年我被诊断患有桥本病（又称桥本氏甲状腺炎）以来，除了患有桥本病，我还服用大麻治疗抑郁症（过去两年），自从去年我被诊断出患有桥本综合症后，我的余生都在服用甲状腺药物。我看了看我的健康问题和需要的药物才能过正常生活，我想知道我如何才能妥善照顾自己，更不用说照顾孩子了。我的孩子们继承我的并发症并过上悲惨生活的可能性有多大？我真的想冒这个险，为了继续我们的血脉吗？
如果我们要有孩子，无论是偶尔照顾孩子，还是其他任何方式，我们都没有家人来帮助我们。自从和我丈夫结婚后，我也逐渐意识到，他只是喜欢拥有一切的想法：有白色尖桩篱笆的房子，妻子，狗，孩子。但他对涉及的所有工作都不感兴趣。当我们与其他婴儿或儿童互动时，我们都没有感受到父母的本能。我们已经有房子和狗了，但我是负责人。我们享受安静的时间和自由，他比我更享受。也许有了孩子会改变我们，我们会逐渐热爱我们的新生活，但从现实的角度来看，如果孩子进入我们的生活，我并不认为我们的生活会发生翻天覆地的积极变化。
Neither of us have family to help us out, if we were to have children, whether to look after them once in a while, or any other means. I’ve also come to realise since being married to my husband that he just likes the idea of having it all: the house with white picket fence, the wife, dog, children. He isn’t interested in all the work involved. Neither of us have ever felt those parental instincts when interacting with other babies or children. We already have the house and dog, but I’m the one taking care of things. We enjoy our quiet time and freedom, him even more so than myself. Maybe having children would change us, and we would grow to love our new life, but looking from a realistic perspective, I don’t see us drastically changing in a positive sense if children were to come into our lives.
如今，我到九月份就要4岁了，我对生孩子的想法很大程度上发生都改变了。自从去年我被诊断患有桥本病（又称桥本氏甲状腺炎）以来，除了患有桥本病，我还服用大麻治疗抑郁症（过去两年），自从去年我被诊断出患有桥本综合症后，我的余生都在服用甲状腺药物。我看了看我的健康问题和需要的药物才能过正常生活，我想知道我如何才能妥善照顾自己，更不用说照顾孩子了。我的孩子们继承我的并发症并过上悲惨生活的可能性有多大？我真的想冒这个险，为了继续我们的血脉吗？
如果我们要有孩子，无论是偶尔照顾孩子，还是其他任何方式，我们都没有家人来帮助我们。自从和我丈夫结婚后，我也逐渐意识到，他只是喜欢拥有一切的想法：有白色尖桩篱笆的房子，妻子，狗，孩子。但他对涉及的所有工作都不感兴趣。当我们与其他婴儿或儿童互动时，我们都没有感受到父母的本能。我们已经有房子和狗了，但我是负责人。我们享受安静的时间和自由，他比我更享受。也许有了孩子会改变我们，我们会逐渐热爱我们的新生活，但从现实的角度来看，如果孩子进入我们的生活，我并不认为我们的生活会发生翻天覆地的积极变化。
Now, I often look back at how my childhood was and wonder why my parents even bothered to have me. My dad wanted a lot of children but didn’t really want to deal with the work either. I guess just for the sake of it. My mom just didn’t want to be alone, she has even told me that she didn’t like me until I was old enough to hold conversations. I never felt like I had a mom, rather just a best friend. I don’t want to be like either of them when it comes to having kids.
Being a child and teenager wasn’t great for me at all. Growing up was a struggle and to this day I still wonder whats the purpose of anything. I’ve watched the kids in our neighbourhood struggle through this pandemic with bleak futures ahead, struggling with health and mental issues. All the changes and issues going on in the world. Why would I want to put a human being on this planet the way things are?
Next month I’ll be 34 and a part of me says there’s still time to change my mind. But the question is, why should I?
现在，我经常回顾我的童年，想知道为什么我的父母会费心要我。我爸爸想要很多孩子，但也不想处理工作。我想我妈妈只是不想一个人呆着，她甚至告诉我，她一直不喜欢我直到我长大到可以交谈为止。我从未觉得自己有过母亲，而只是一个最好的朋友。在生孩子的问题上，我不想和他们中的任何一个一样。
对我来说，作为一个孩子和青少年时期，过得一点都不好。成长是一场斗争，直到今天，我仍然想知道这些事情的目的是什么。我目睹了我们社区的孩子们在这场流行病中挣扎，前途黯淡，与健康和精神问题作斗争。为什么我要把一个人放在这个星球上？
下个月我就34岁了，我身体的一部分告诉我还有时间改变主意。但问题是，我为什么要这样做？
Being a child and teenager wasn’t great for me at all. Growing up was a struggle and to this day I still wonder whats the purpose of anything. I’ve watched the kids in our neighbourhood struggle through this pandemic with bleak futures ahead, struggling with health and mental issues. All the changes and issues going on in the world. Why would I want to put a human being on this planet the way things are?
Next month I’ll be 34 and a part of me says there’s still time to change my mind. But the question is, why should I?
现在，我经常回顾我的童年，想知道为什么我的父母会费心要我。我爸爸想要很多孩子，但也不想处理工作。我想我妈妈只是不想一个人呆着，她甚至告诉我，她一直不喜欢我直到我长大到可以交谈为止。我从未觉得自己有过母亲，而只是一个最好的朋友。在生孩子的问题上，我不想和他们中的任何一个一样。
对我来说，作为一个孩子和青少年时期，过得一点都不好。成长是一场斗争，直到今天，我仍然想知道这些事情的目的是什么。我目睹了我们社区的孩子们在这场流行病中挣扎，前途黯淡，与健康和精神问题作斗争。为什么我要把一个人放在这个星球上？
下个月我就34岁了，我身体的一部分告诉我还有时间改变主意。但问题是，我为什么要这样做？
Nicole Comeau, Beauty Product Developer
I do not want to have children.
And no, I will not change my mind one day.
I also am not selfish.
I also am not too young to make that decision.
Should my current boyfriend and I break up, if I meet someone and they DO want kids, then they are not the person for me.
Yes, I do realize its permanent and no, I won’t regret it one day.
When I’m old, someone will take care of me, and it won’t be my kids. And the lady next door to me- her kids probably would only come to visit once a year so, that point is moot. Just because you have kids, doesn’t mean they’ll take care of you in the end. I’ll have plenty of money left over from not having kids to pay someone to take care of me, should I need it.
Those are my responses to the many comments I get after stating that I don’t want kids. People are so quick to try to convince you to want them or to have them with no regard to the simple fact that it really has nothing to do with them or their life whether I do or don’t.
I’ll preface this by saying I had a great childhood with wonderful parents, because oftentimes others will blame a bad childhood for ones choice to not reproduce.
我不想要孩子，将来我也不会改变主意。
我也不是自私。我也不是因太年轻而做出这样的决定。
如果我现在的男朋友和我分手了，如果我又遇到一个人，他们真的想要孩子，那么他们就不是我想要的人。
是的，我知道它是永久的，不，我不会后悔的。
当我老了，有人会照顾我，而不是我的孩子。而我隔壁的那位女士—她的孩子们可能一年只来看望一次，所以，这一点毫无意义。你有孩子，并不意味着他们最终会照顾你。如果我需要的话，我会要有很多钱，因为我没有孩子来付钱请别人照顾我。
这些是我对我说我不想要孩子后得到的许多评论的回应。人们很快就试图说服你想要或拥有它们，而不考虑一个简单的事实，那就是无论我要还是不要，这与他们或他们的生活都毫无关系。
首先我要说的是，我有一个很好的童年，有着非常好的父母，因为很多时候，别人会因为选择不生育而责怪糟糕的童年。
I do not want to have children.
And no, I will not change my mind one day.
I also am not selfish.
I also am not too young to make that decision.
Should my current boyfriend and I break up, if I meet someone and they DO want kids, then they are not the person for me.
Yes, I do realize its permanent and no, I won’t regret it one day.
When I’m old, someone will take care of me, and it won’t be my kids. And the lady next door to me- her kids probably would only come to visit once a year so, that point is moot. Just because you have kids, doesn’t mean they’ll take care of you in the end. I’ll have plenty of money left over from not having kids to pay someone to take care of me, should I need it.
Those are my responses to the many comments I get after stating that I don’t want kids. People are so quick to try to convince you to want them or to have them with no regard to the simple fact that it really has nothing to do with them or their life whether I do or don’t.
I’ll preface this by saying I had a great childhood with wonderful parents, because oftentimes others will blame a bad childhood for ones choice to not reproduce.
我不想要孩子，将来我也不会改变主意。
我也不是自私。我也不是因太年轻而做出这样的决定。
如果我现在的男朋友和我分手了，如果我又遇到一个人，他们真的想要孩子，那么他们就不是我想要的人。
是的，我知道它是永久的，不，我不会后悔的。
当我老了，有人会照顾我，而不是我的孩子。而我隔壁的那位女士—她的孩子们可能一年只来看望一次，所以，这一点毫无意义。你有孩子，并不意味着他们最终会照顾你。如果我需要的话，我会要有很多钱，因为我没有孩子来付钱请别人照顾我。
这些是我对我说我不想要孩子后得到的许多评论的回应。人们很快就试图说服你想要或拥有它们，而不考虑一个简单的事实，那就是无论我要还是不要，这与他们或他们的生活都毫无关系。
首先我要说的是，我有一个很好的童年，有着非常好的父母，因为很多时候，别人会因为选择不生育而责怪糟糕的童年。
I don’t want kids because I love my career. I am a marketing manager in NYC for a big beauty company and only want to move up. Having a child would greatly dampen that dream due to the fact of how much time and attention they do need. Lets say I’m in a big meeting- and my kid calls. They’re sick, they have a project for school they need my help; the list goes on. I’m not going to leave my meeting and compromise my career for them. I also realize that’s the choice a “bad mom” would make.
My current boyfriend (will be husband) works unconventional hours and can be made to stay at work after his shift without choice. He has no time or ability to go 50–50 on co parenting. I would carry the brunt of the parenting and quite frankly I don’t want to.
Kids are expensive. Plain and simple. They require most to all of your time, money and attention. Anything you liked to do before- you can kiss goodbye.
Your relationship with your partner suffers, that goes without saying.
Personally- I don’t like children. I don’t like being around them and I certainly don’t like the idea of my life revolving around one.
Those are very solid reasons for not wanting a child. I often get asked “But won’t you regret not having children? Its so final and after a certain point you can’t change your mind! ”
My answer is this: “Do you regret having them?” -or- “What if you regret having them?”
That decision is also final, and the results of regret are more damaging than not having them in the first place.
I will live my life happily Childfree.
我不想要孩子，因为我爱我的事业。我是纽约一家大型美容公司的营销经理，只想升职。如有个孩子会大大挫败这个梦想，因为他们确实需要付出很多时间和注意力。假设我正在参加一个大型会议，我的孩子打电话来。他们生病了，他们有一个学校项目，他们需要我的帮助；这个名单还有很多。我不会离开我的会议，不想为他们牺牲我的事业。我也意识到这是一个“坏妈妈”的选择。
我现在的男朋友（即将成为我的丈夫）的工作时间是非常规的，下班后可以让他留在工作岗位上，他别无选择。他既没有时间也没有能力在共同养育子女方面各占一半。我将承担养育孩子的重担，坦白说，我不想。
孩子很费钱，简单明了。它们需要你所有的时间、金钱和注意力。你以前喜欢做的任何事—你都可以吻别了。
不用说，你和伴侣的关系会受到影响。
就我个人而言，我不喜欢孩子。我不喜欢和他们在一起，我当然也不喜欢我的生活围绕着他们转。
这些都是不想要孩子的坚实理由。我经常被问到：“但是你会后悔没有孩子吗？这是最后的决定，过了一段时间你就改变不了主意了！”
我的回答是：“你后悔拥有她们吗？”—或者—“如果你后悔拥有她们了怎么办？”
这个决定也是最终的，后悔的结果比没有后悔的结果更具破坏性。
我将过着没有孩子的快乐生活。
My current boyfriend (will be husband) works unconventional hours and can be made to stay at work after his shift without choice. He has no time or ability to go 50–50 on co parenting. I would carry the brunt of the parenting and quite frankly I don’t want to.
Kids are expensive. Plain and simple. They require most to all of your time, money and attention. Anything you liked to do before- you can kiss goodbye.
Your relationship with your partner suffers, that goes without saying.
Personally- I don’t like children. I don’t like being around them and I certainly don’t like the idea of my life revolving around one.
Those are very solid reasons for not wanting a child. I often get asked “But won’t you regret not having children? Its so final and after a certain point you can’t change your mind! ”
My answer is this: “Do you regret having them?” -or- “What if you regret having them?”
That decision is also final, and the results of regret are more damaging than not having them in the first place.
I will live my life happily Childfree.
我不想要孩子，因为我爱我的事业。我是纽约一家大型美容公司的营销经理，只想升职。如有个孩子会大大挫败这个梦想，因为他们确实需要付出很多时间和注意力。假设我正在参加一个大型会议，我的孩子打电话来。他们生病了，他们有一个学校项目，他们需要我的帮助；这个名单还有很多。我不会离开我的会议，不想为他们牺牲我的事业。我也意识到这是一个“坏妈妈”的选择。
我现在的男朋友（即将成为我的丈夫）的工作时间是非常规的，下班后可以让他留在工作岗位上，他别无选择。他既没有时间也没有能力在共同养育子女方面各占一半。我将承担养育孩子的重担，坦白说，我不想。
孩子很费钱，简单明了。它们需要你所有的时间、金钱和注意力。你以前喜欢做的任何事—你都可以吻别了。
不用说，你和伴侣的关系会受到影响。
就我个人而言，我不喜欢孩子。我不喜欢和他们在一起，我当然也不喜欢我的生活围绕着他们转。
这些都是不想要孩子的坚实理由。我经常被问到：“但是你会后悔没有孩子吗？这是最后的决定，过了一段时间你就改变不了主意了！”
我的回答是：“你后悔拥有她们吗？”—或者—“如果你后悔拥有她们了怎么办？”
这个决定也是最终的，后悔的结果比没有后悔的结果更具破坏性。
我将过着没有孩子的快乐生活。
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