网帖翻译

Dan Birchfield
Would have to be when I faced the cold hard truth that my wife might not survive her battle with cancer. Here she is around 2009 about a year before her diagnosis. Beautiful, isn't she?

我必须面对的残酷事实是，我的妻子可能无法在与癌症的斗争中幸存下来。下面的照片是她2009年拍的，离确诊还有一年左右。她很漂亮，不是吗？

In January 2010, my wife, Andrea, was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. Her only symptoms were trouble swallowing. Tests showed a large malignant tumor in her esophagus.
Her doctors swung into action and mapped out a treatment plan, which involved 30 plus radiation treatments and heavy doses of chemotherapy. The goal was to shrink the tumor in order to remove it.
A feeding tube was placed because once treatment began she couldn't swallow. She responded well to treatment and by May was ready for surgery.

2010年1月，我的妻子安德里亚被诊断为4期食管癌。她唯一的症状是吞咽困难。检查显示她的食道有一个巨大的恶性肿瘤。
她的医生们迅速采取行动，制定了一个治疗计划，其中包括30多次放疗和大剂量化疗。我们的目标是缩小肿瘤以将其切除。
因为一旦开始治疗，她就无法吞咽，所以放置了喂食管。她对治疗反应良好，到5月已准备好接受手术。

She endured an 8 hour surgery at University of Virginia Medical Center. Esophagus removed, stomach rebuilt into a tube attached up to where esophagus had been. First few days after surgery were terrible for her. I faced the realization that I might be driving home alone and her riding back in a hearse.
But she is strong and determined and would not give up. She kept fighting and grew a little stronger each day. She was released after 10 days and began an extended recovery.
Eleven years later she is cancer free. This was taken a few years ago during Christmas.

她在弗吉尼亚大学医学中心接受了8小时的手术。食道被移除，胃被置入一根管子，与食道相连。手术后的头几天对她来说很糟糕。我不得不面对一个现实，我可能会一个人开车回家，而她会坐着灵车回来。
但她坚强而坚定，没有放弃。她不停地战斗，一天比一天强壮。她在10天后好转，并开始长期康复。
11年后，她没有了癌症。这是几年前圣诞节拍的。

Miracles do happen.
I shared this to encourage anyone facing cancer to fight it and not give up.

奇迹确实会发生。
我分享这篇文章是为了鼓励所有面临癌症的人与之抗争，而不是放弃。

Angela Johnson
I’m not sure that I should put this out on the Internet because this story is humiliating, but what the hell.
When I was 8 years old my parents divorced. My dad moved in with his mom, my mom bought a new house that we lived in with her except for every other weekend when we would go see my dad. A pretty standard custody arrangement, nothing really out of the ordinary nowadays.
One day when I was about 12, my dad picked up my brother and I to go to his house. The drive was long; a few minutes down the road he tells me he has a surprise, that my aunt Susie was at his house (his sister-in-law, my aunt by marriage). He tells me she was there but my cousins and uncle were not. Why?
Because they were going to be together now.

我不确定我是否应该把这个放到网上，因为这个故事很丢脸，这到底是怎么回事呢？
我8岁时，父母离婚了。我爸爸搬进了他妈妈家，我妈妈买了一栋新房子，我们和她住在一起，每隔一个周末我们会去看望我爸爸。一个相当标准的监护安排，没有什么特别的。
大约在我12岁的一天，爸爸接我和弟弟去他家。车程很长，几分钟后，他告诉我他有一个惊喜，我的婶娘苏西在他家（他的嫂子，我的婶娘结婚了）。他告诉我她在那里，但我的堂兄和大伯不在。为什么？
因为他们现在要在一起了！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

That’s right, you read correctly. My dad drove to his brother’s house and stole his wife in the middle of the night.
I had no idea this was coming, he never spoke about her, in fact I never even remembered seeing them interact very much during family functions. I was shocked, but the worst was to come.
A few months go by, obviously my family was up in arms. Things were incredibly rocky. Summer vacation was starting very soon, and we had this arrangement that my dad would always pick us up for two weeks at the beginning of the summer so we could do some fun stuff. This particular year we had plans to go to Sea World and Busch Gardens. One evening my dad called and spoke to my mom. I heard her yelling in the other room, she came out and handed me the phone, clearly upset. I took it from her and it was him.

没错，你读对了。我爸爸开车去他哥哥的房子，在午夜时分偷走了他的妻子。
我不知道这会发生，他从来没有提到过她，事实上我甚至都不记得他们在家庭活动中有经常互动过。我很震惊，但最糟糕的事情即将发生。
几个月过去了，很明显我的家人们都很愤怒。事情非常艰难。暑假很快就要开始了，我们有一个安排，我爸爸总是在初夏的两周内来接我们，这样我们就可以做一些有趣的事情。今年我们计划去海洋世界和布施花园。一天晚上，我爸爸打电话给我妈妈。我听到妈妈在另一个房间里大喊大叫，她出来把电话递给我，显然很不高兴。我从她手里接过电话，电话那边是爸爸。

“Angie, it’s dad. I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
He spoke these words to me like a breakup. I remember feeling like the air left my lungs, like I had been punched in the stomach. The room was spinning, I asked him to repeat himself so many times out of pure disbelief. I begged him, I cried, I pleaded with him. He was stone cold, he was unwavering, he was heartless. He had no explanation, he just kept repeating that same statement and eventually hung up on me while I sobbed on the other end of the line. I never returned back to school to finish the remainder of the year…I slept on the couch by the front door, never leaving the living room. I spent weeks staring out the front window, praying I would see him pull up one day.

“安吉，是爸爸。我觉得我们不应该再见面了。”
他对我说这些话就像分手一样。我感觉空气离开了我的肺，我的胃好像被打了一拳。我在房间里转来转去，我让他重复了很多次，完全无法相信这个事实。我恳求他，我哭泣，我乞求。他冷冰冰的，毫不动摇，冷酷无情。他没有解释原因，只是不停地重复同样的话，当我在电话的另一端哭泣时，他挂断了我的电话。这一年剩下的时间，我没有再返回学校……我睡在前门的沙发上，从未离开过客厅。我花了几个星期盯着窗外，祈祷有一天能看到他突然出现。

It took me years and years to work through this. That summer I cried every single day, I would sleep with the phone every night. A few times I even dialed him in my sleep and woke up to him on the other side of the line, angrily telling me to stop calling. My mom was consumed with anger on our behalf - it was obvious that he was surrendering his parental rights so he could enjoy a free life with his new wife, a relationship that was creepy and inappropriate, a relationship which would result in a marriage that destroyed that side of my family.
Fast forward to now…my mom re-married a great guy when I was 15. He’s been my dad ever since. A few times since my real father severed our relationship I have seen him; no more than three times. After my daughter was born he tried to develop a relationship with me but I just couldn’t. We don’t speak, and it’s for the best. He was my first actual heartbreak; I was fortunate enough that my mom re-married someone who is wonderful. I haven’t missed out on anything in life because of stepdad…but the devastation that my dad left was indescribable.

我花了很多年才解决这个问题。那年夏天，我每天都哭，每天晚上都带着手机睡觉。有几次我甚至在睡梦中给他打电话，他在电话的另一端醒来，愤怒地告诉我不要再打了。我母亲为了我们的利益怒不可遏——很明显，他放弃了父母的权利，这样他就可以和他的新妻子享受自由的生活，一种令人毛骨悚然、不恰当的关系，这种关系会导致一场婚姻，摧毁我的家庭。
快进到现在…我妈妈在我15岁的时候嫁给了一个很棒的男人。从那以后他一直是我爸爸。自从我的亲生父亲断绝我们的关系后，我见过他几次，但是不超过三次。我女儿出生后，他试图和我缓和关系，但我就是做不到。我们不说话，这是最好的。他让我第一次体会到真正的心碎；我很幸运，我妈妈嫁给了一个很棒的人。因为我的继父，我一生中没有再错过任何东西……但我父亲留下的破坏是无法形容的。

Paula Willford
I was 41 when I FINALLY met the love of my life! I had been divorced from my kids daddy for years and had a couple relationships but something was ALWAYS missing. When I met my true love, I had been single for 5 years. I guess I was over the 'relationshits’ at that point. Wasn't looking didn't care!
It took him over a month to convince me to give us a chance. That we needed each other. I'm so glad I did because now I know true, honest, deep down in your soul love!!
The next several years were the happiest of my life! At a cookout he informed my daughters that he loved me and is going to marry me if they are okay with it! :-)of course they were he was good to me! They had never seen me that happy before!!

当我终于遇见我生命中的挚爱时，我41岁！我和我孩子的父亲离婚多年，有过几段恋情，但总是缺少一些东西。当我遇到我的真爱时，我已经单身五年了。我想当时我已经看淡了“关系问题”。不看也不在乎！
他花了一个多月的时间来说服我给我们一个机会。我们需要彼此。我很高兴我做到了，因为现在我感觉到了你灵魂深处的真爱！！
接下来的几年是我一生中最幸福的时光！在一次野餐会上，他告诉我的女儿们，他爱我，如果她们同意的话，他就要和我结婚！他们当然同意了，他对我很好！他们以前从没见过我这么开心！！

June 4, 2016
We had moved into a double wide that had to be remodeled and we actually had a good time working on it! Seeing the amazing progress we made as a team!
We got a foosball table and set it up in living room since we didn't have furniture yet. At 7:45 I posted a pic of our new living room furniture and he joked about needing a pool table now!
At 8:02 he said “Hey baby you're REALLY gonna want to see this!” I turned my head to look at him. As soon as I made eye contact he shot himself in the head!! I wouldn't wish that on anyone ever!!
He of course died! I'll NEVER forget the Dr. Coming in the family room and saying the bullet severed his brain… all I could do was hold his moms hand and cry!!!
It's almost 2 years later and I still see it happen again daily! I can still see the gun right above his ear and the tone in his voice when he spoke to get my attention!
There were no warning signs! He had depression stemming from childhood but literally 15 min earlier we were posting pics and laughing!

2016年6月4日
我们搬进了一个需要改造的比以前宽2倍的地方，我们在这里过得很开心！看到我们作为一个集体取得的惊人进步！
我们买了一张足球桌，放在客厅里，因为我们还没有家具。7点45分，我贴了一张我们新客厅家具的照片，他开玩笑说现在需要一张台球桌！
8点02分，他说：“嘿，宝贝，你一定会想看这个的！”。我转头看着他。我一跟他眼神接触，他就朝自己的脑袋开了一枪！！我不希望任何人有这样的经历！！
他死了！我永远不会忘记医生走进家庭病房，说子弹击穿了他的大脑……我所能做的就是握着他妈妈的手哭泣！！！
差不多两年过去了，我仍然每天都能看到这种情况发生！我仍然能看到他耳朵上方的枪，记得他说话引起我注意时的语调！
没有任何警告信号！他从小就患有抑郁症，但实际上，15分钟前，我们还在发帖大笑！

The rumors started almost immediately!!
Oh I bet it was a drug deal gone bad!!
Oh no, I bet she shot him!
There is such a stigma surrounding suicide! There's so much we don't understand about the brain- emotion connection!! I mean, what makes a man go from happy and joking to suicide in 15 min? I guess that's another of those questions we'll NEVER have an answer to!
I've always been a strong, independent woman.. That me is gone forever!! This one event has rattled me to the core and I doubt there's any coming back!!

谣言几乎立刻就开始了！！
“哦，我打赌他们当时一定在吸毒！！”
“哦，不，我打赌是她开的枪！”
自杀是一种耻辱！关于大脑与情绪的联系，我们有太多不了解的地方！！是什么让一个男人在15分钟内从快乐和开玩笑变成自杀？我想这是另一个我们永远无法回答的问题！
我一直是一个坚强、独立的女人……曾经的我永远不见了！！这件事把我吓得魂飞魄散，我总是怀疑这件事会不会重演！！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

Mac Mintaka
The hardest thing for me has been the ongoing and growing awareness of my partner’s dementia. For the last few years she has been unable to work and had growing problems using the computer (she used to be a technical editor) that she had previously known like the back of her hand.
She forgot words and names and stumbled in her sentences. We chalked it up to intense depression and anxiety until a year ago things began to speed up noticeably. Finally after going to a couple doctors we found a neurologist who did tests to rule things out and ordered a PET scan as well. My dear Kathryn was diagnosed as having Lewy Body Dementia (LBD).

对我来说，最困难的是对伴侣痴呆症的持续不断的认识。在过去的几年里，她一直无法工作，并且在使用电脑（她曾是一名技术编辑）时遇到了越来越多的问题，而她以前对电脑的了解就像是对她的手背的了解一样。
她忘了单词和名字，说话结结巴巴。直到一年前，情况开始明显加剧，我们才将其归因于强烈的抑郁和焦虑。最后，在去看了几位医生后，我们找到了一位神经学家，他做了一些检查，排除了可能出现的问题，并要求进行PET扫描。我亲爱的凯瑟琳被诊断患有路易身体痴呆症（LBD）。

Since then things have continued to get worse. It is more and more difficult for her to put on clothes properly, she gives up quicker when trying to remember things because she feels like it’s a lost cause, the dementia also is causing her to have mood swings and much of it is negative. She gets angry at reasonable things like the state of our nation but it is with a fervor and hopelessness that she never had before. She doesn’t see a way out when she’s in that mood. Also she is getting more childlike in her actions and conversation.
I’m going to lose her all too soon. Her life will be cut short by this disease. We don’t know how much because every case is different but typically it’s 5–8 years after symptoms appear. People have been known to die as quickly as 2 years or as long as 20, although I have no idea what the quality of their life is for that 20 years.

从那时起，情况继续恶化。对她来说，正确地穿衣服越来越难了，当她试图记住一些事情时，她会更快地放弃，因为她觉得这会是一个失败，痴呆症也会导致她的情绪波动，大部分是负面的。她对我们国家的状况等合理的事情感到愤怒，但这种愤怒和绝望是她从未有过的。当她处于那种情绪时，她看不到出路。此外，她的行为和谈话也越来越孩子气。
我很快就会失去她。她的生命将因这种疾病而缩短。我们不知道还有多少时间，因为每个病例都不同，但通常是症状出现后的5-8年。人们知道，人们的死亡时间最快可达2年或20年之久，尽管我不知道他们这20年的生活质量如何。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

I’ve been in love with her for the past 10 1/2 years and I am grateful every day that even with the symptoms she is still herself and I get to still be with her. I try to live every day loving her and celebrating her.
In the end, though, all that will be gone. She’ll forget me and our wonderful time together and her self will disappear.
I suffer from anticipatory grief as I know this will happen eventually. Every time she forgets a word or puts her shirt on backwards I am reminded of it so I grieve constantly.
I work hard to live as much as possible in the moment and to enjoy her wonderful self while I have her. I’m committed to seeing this through and being her caretaker for as long as it takes. That decision isn’t hard, though. Of course I’ll be there for her!

在过去的10年半里，我一直爱着她，我每天都很感恩，即使出现了症状，她仍然是她，我仍然能和她在一起。我试着每天都爱她，为她庆祝。
但最终，所有这些都将消失。她会忘记我和我们在一起的美好时光，她的自我也会消失。
我承受着预期的悲伤，因为我知道这最终会发生。每次她忘了一个字，或是把衬衫穿反了，我都会想起这件事，所以我总是很伤心。
我努力工作，尽可能多地活在当下，在我拥有她时享受她美妙的自我。我致力于看穿这一切，尽可能长时间地照顾她。下这个决定并不难。我当然要支持她！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

It’s been about a year since I wrote this and, shockingly and wonderfully, she is not a ton worse. She forgets more and is less able to complete tasks. On the other hand she really wants to go back to work in some way. She’s really motivated so I’m supporting her even though I quietly worry about her not having the capacity to do a real job.
I don’t know why she’s doing so well for so long. I can’t know for sure but I think it’s the medication she’s taking. It’s supposed to slow down the progression of the disease, but it’s not going to stop it in its tracks. It’s a stop-gap measure that will last as long as it lasts, we really don’t know when it’ll stop working.

补充：我写这篇文章已经有一年了，令人震惊和惊奇的是，她一点也不差。她忘得更多，完成任务的能力也更低。另一方面，她真的想以某种方式回去工作。她真的很有动力，所以我支持她，尽管我暗自担心她没有能力做真正的工作。
我不知道她为什么这么长时间都表现得这么好。我不能确定，但我想是她服用的药物。它能减缓疾病的进展，但却无法阻止疾病的发展。这是一个权宜之计，会持续多久，我们真的不知道什么时候药物会失去作用。

Jenna Miles
2012 - the beginning of the five worst years of my life so far. (May there never be a worse.)
Two things happened during that time period that tie for first place as the most emotionally difficult moments of my life:
My daughter’s stroke
On March 30, 2012, my middle daughter had a massive stroke at the age of 10 months. She was completely paralyzed on the left side of her body. To this day, I feel a lot of guilt for not recognizing that my daughter was having a stroke – even though the first pediatrician who examined her didn't recognize it either.

2012年——我生命中最糟糕的五年开始了。（但愿再也没有比这更糟糕的了。）
在这段时间里，发生了两件事，这是我一生中情绪最困难的时刻：
我女儿中风了。
2012年3月30日，我中间的那个女儿在10个月大时患了严重的中风。她身体左侧完全瘫痪。直到今天，我还在为没有意识到我女儿患了中风而感到非常内疚——尽管第一位给她做检查的儿科医生也没有意识到。

We spent a total of two weeks in the hospital, during which she received heparin to dissolve any blood clots that might remain in her brain. This required inserting an IV into her neck, which was a form of torture. I still get panic attacks when I relive her screams while they dug around in her neck, trying to find a vein big enough to use.
I had never cried so hard in my life as I did that night.
But I went into emergency mode for the next several months, spending two weeks in the hospital with my baby, followed by daily outpatient and at-home physical and occupational therapy.
Miraculously, my daughter has recovered almost all of the function she had lost on the left side of her body. By the one-year anniversary of her stroke, she was climbing ladders at the park.

我们在医院总共呆了两周，期间她接受了肝素治疗，以溶解可能留在她大脑中的任何血块。这需要在她的脖子上插入静脉注射，这是一种折磨。当他们在她的脖子上挖来挖去，试图找到一条足够大的血管来使用时，当我重温她的尖叫声时，我仍然会感到恐慌。
我一生中从未像那天晚上那样哭得这么厉害。
在接下来的几个月里，我进入了急诊模式，带着我的孩子在医院待了两周，然后每天进行门诊和家庭物理和职业治疗。
奇迹般地，我女儿恢复了她身体左侧失去的几乎所有功能。在她中风一周年的时候，她正在公园里爬梯子。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

Now that we were past the emergency stage, and it was clear that my daughter was going to be okay, it all hit me at once - the pain my daughter had experienced. The fact that she could have died. The guilt that I hadn’t recognized what was happening to her, despite what seemed, in retrospect, so obvious. The fact that she might have another stroke one day.
Not only that, but I was no longer working. (I worked full-time prior to my daughter’s stroke.) I had all the time in the world to think about my grief and my fears. At the same time, I discovered that - surprise! - I was pregnant with my third daughter.
The stress from my depression and my unplanned pregnancy put a lot of strain on my marriage. Which leads to Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Experienced #2:
The end of my marriage
When I was six months pregnant with my third daughter, I learned that my marriage was coming to an end. I had a three-year-old and a two-year-old, and one on the way. I was unemployed and unemployable because I was pregnant. I moved myself and my two-going-on-three daughters into a 900-square-foot apartment with no dishwasher and a washing machine that flooded when I tried to use it. (I know, I know - first world problems.)

现在我们已经度过了紧急阶段，很明显我女儿会好起来的，这一切立刻击中了我——我女儿所经历的痛苦，她曾经可能会死，而我却没有意识到她身上发生了什么。尽管回想起来，这似乎是显而易见的。她可能有一天会再次中风。
不仅如此，我也不再工作了。在女儿中风之前，我全职工作。我用世界上所有的时间来思考我的悲伤和恐惧。与此同时，我发现——惊喜！——我怀上了我的第三个女儿。
抑郁症和意外怀孕带来的压力给我的婚姻带来了很大的压力。这导致了我经历过的最艰难的事情之二——我婚姻的终结。
当我怀着第三个女儿六个月的时候，我知道我的婚姻即将结束。我有一个三岁的孩子和一个两岁的孩子，还有一个在路上。我失业了，因为我怀孕了。我把自己和两个即将变成三个的女儿搬到了一套900平方英尺（83平方米）的公寓里，公寓里没有洗碗机和洗衣机，当我试图使用它时，洗衣机进水了。（我知道，我知道——小问题而已。）
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I had no access to our financial resources, and I had no way of knowing whether I ever would. I was actually shopping for adoptive families to potentially adopt the baby I was pregnant with, because I had no way of knowing if I would be able to support myself and my two existing daughters, let alone a third. I had no family in California, and for legal reasons I didn’t feel safe discussing my situation with any of my friends.
For two months, almost every day seemed to reveal another new bombshell about my marriage. In the midst of all this, I found myself curled up in a ball one night on the living room carpet, seven months pregnant, sobbing so hard that I couldn’t catch my breath. I felt so completely alone, unloved, and unloveable.
Until that moment, my daughter’s stroke had been the worst event of my life. But this sorry scenario easily tied with that.

我无法获得我们的财政资源，也不知道我应该怎么做。实际上，我是在为可能收养我怀孕的孩子的收养家庭购物，因为我无法知道我是否能够养活自己和我现有的两个女儿，更不用说第三个了。我在加利福尼亚州没有家人，出于法律原因，我觉得与任何朋友讨论我的处境都不安全。
两个月来，几乎每天都有关于我婚姻的新的炸弹出现。在这个时候，有一天晚上，我发现自己蜷缩在客厅地毯上像一个球，怀孕七个月了，我哭得喘不过气来。我感到非常孤独、不被爱、不讨人喜欢。
在那一刻之前，我女儿的中风是我一生中最严重的事件。这一令人遗憾的情景很容易与现在联系在一起。

The good that came out of it
Until last year (2016), I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I believed I’d be going through the motions for the rest of my life, surviving one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, no joy in sight, until I died.
I now realize that sometimes you have to destroy the old and the ugly in order to create the new and the beautiful.
The beautiful is rediscovering who I am as an individual human being. Realizing that, wow - I survived this. Nothing scares me anymore.
Publishing my first novel.
Going back to work in a new job that I love, with coworkers that I love, with a schedule that I love.
Buying my own house in a new community that I adore.
Meeting the love of my life, a gorgeous man who profoundly respects and loves me in a way I never knew was possible - and whom I profoundly respect and love in return.
The pain sucked, but it was indispensible. I simply wouldn’t be who or where I am today - which is the best place I’ve ever been in my life - if it weren’t for the pain.

从中得到的教训：
直到去年（2016年），我才看到隧道尽头的曙光。当时，我相信在我的余生中，我会经历一些变故，一天一天地活下去，一只脚站在另一只脚的前面，看不到快乐，直到我死去。
我现在意识到，有时为了创造新的和美丽的，你必须摧毁旧的和丑陋的。
美是重新发现我作为一个人是谁。意识到这一点，哇，我活了下来。我再也不怕了。
我出版了我的第一本小说。
回到我喜欢的新工作中去，和我喜欢的同事一起工作，有我喜欢的日程安排。
在我喜欢的新社区里买自己的房子。
遇见我生命中的挚爱，一个以我不知道的方式深深地尊重和爱我的美丽男人是存在的——我也深深地尊重和爱他。
疼痛难以忍受，但是，却是不可或缺的。如果不是因为痛苦，我根本不会成为今天的我——这是我一生中最美好的地方。