我如何阻止自己过度思考和过度分析我所做的一切以及人们可能对我的一切看法？
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原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
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原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
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James Hu, Every person who has "moved up" in Life takes self-improvement seriously
Get out of your head.
Spend some time to re-connect your mind, heart, and gut. Easiest way is through meditation.
In reality, no one really cares about you as much as you do.
Plus. Stop worrying so much. As long as you are not hurting yourself, other people, and the environment, everything will work out just fine.
You will stop over analyzing as soon as you start living.
When a person over analyzes everything, they are doing the opposite of living. They are living to die in finding reasons for errors.
Here’s what you do.
Have fun. Play. Think onward and forward.
Right now, you are thinking against yourself trying to rationalize every move backwards.
Get into a water balloon fight. You can not make mistakes in a water balloon fight no matter how many times you miss your target. This will help release your inner-tension.
Find another creative outlet where there is no other point than just having fun.
别再胡思乱想了。
花些时间重新连接你的思想、心灵和直觉。最简单的方法是冥想。
事实上，没有人比你自己更在乎你。
不要担心太多。只要你不伤害自己、他人和环境，一切都会很好。
一旦你开始生活，你就会停止过度分析。
当一个人过度分析每件事时，他们做的是与生活相反的事。他们在寻找错误的原因直到死亡。
这就是你要做的：
玩得高兴，向前看。
现在, 你试图为每一次倒退找借口的想法是对自己不利的。
参加一场水球大战。无论你有多少次错过目标，你都不能在水球比赛中犯错误。这将有助于释放你内心的紧张。
寻找另一种创造性的发泄方式，那里除了玩乐之外别无其他意义。
Get out of your head.
Spend some time to re-connect your mind, heart, and gut. Easiest way is through meditation.
In reality, no one really cares about you as much as you do.
Plus. Stop worrying so much. As long as you are not hurting yourself, other people, and the environment, everything will work out just fine.
You will stop over analyzing as soon as you start living.
When a person over analyzes everything, they are doing the opposite of living. They are living to die in finding reasons for errors.
Here’s what you do.
Have fun. Play. Think onward and forward.
Right now, you are thinking against yourself trying to rationalize every move backwards.
Get into a water balloon fight. You can not make mistakes in a water balloon fight no matter how many times you miss your target. This will help release your inner-tension.
Find another creative outlet where there is no other point than just having fun.
别再胡思乱想了。
花些时间重新连接你的思想、心灵和直觉。最简单的方法是冥想。
事实上，没有人比你自己更在乎你。
不要担心太多。只要你不伤害自己、他人和环境，一切都会很好。
一旦你开始生活，你就会停止过度分析。
当一个人过度分析每件事时，他们做的是与生活相反的事。他们在寻找错误的原因直到死亡。
这就是你要做的：
玩得高兴，向前看。
现在, 你试图为每一次倒退找借口的想法是对自己不利的。
参加一场水球大战。无论你有多少次错过目标，你都不能在水球比赛中犯错误。这将有助于释放你内心的紧张。
寻找另一种创造性的发泄方式，那里除了玩乐之外别无其他意义。
Trisha Adrienne Co
I’m that kind of person too. Whenever i’m in a group, i always assume that people are talking about me. The one thing I can advise you on this is that you have to be confident about yourself. I think that these things often come up because we alwaus compare ourselves to others. You are yourself. No other person out there is lile you. You are unique. Stop comparing youtself to others.
我也是那种人。每当我在一个群体中，我总是认为人们在谈论我。在这方面，我可以给你的一个建议是，你必须对自己有信心。我认为这些事情经常出现，因为我们总是把自己和别人比较。你是你自己。没有人能比得上你。你是独一无二的。不要和别人比较。
I’m that kind of person too. Whenever i’m in a group, i always assume that people are talking about me. The one thing I can advise you on this is that you have to be confident about yourself. I think that these things often come up because we alwaus compare ourselves to others. You are yourself. No other person out there is lile you. You are unique. Stop comparing youtself to others.
我也是那种人。每当我在一个群体中，我总是认为人们在谈论我。在这方面，我可以给你的一个建议是，你必须对自己有信心。我认为这些事情经常出现，因为我们总是把自己和别人比较。你是你自己。没有人能比得上你。你是独一无二的。不要和别人比较。
GauravJeet Singh, Psychologist
You are smart to understand and realise the problem by yourself. That's an impressive feat. Giving autonomy to mind to wander freely promotes overthinking.
Do mindfulness meditation by focusing on the present moment and try to empty the mind of all thoughts. Don't allow any thought to enter while meditating.
Overthinking does makes one miserable, feel helpless and hopeless thus leading to depression.
Don't live in the past nor focus on future, concentrate and line within the present now moment. Be mindful aware of your present.
Try to feel things over the concept of overthinking. Thoughts don't always represent the truth, while feelings are more trustworthy and accurate.
Reality is hard to face and everyone wants to distract self away from the harsh reality. People do drugs, play games,etc to evade reality. Reality can't be avoided forever, one day you have to face it. Facing it fair and square eliminates the unhappiness part of it .
你很聪明，能自己认识到这个问题。这是一个令人印象深刻的壮举。让大脑自由漫步会导致过度思考。
专注于当下，做专注冥想，并尝试清空头脑中的所有想法。冥想时不要让任何思想进入。
过度思考确实会使人痛苦，感到无助和绝望，从而导致抑郁。
不要活在过去，也不要关注未来，集中精力，活在当下。把握现在。
试着去感受过度思考的概念。思想并不总是代表真理，而感觉更值得信赖和准确。
现实是难以面对的，每个人都想分散自己的注意力，远离残酷的现实。人们吸毒、玩游戏等来逃避现实。现实无法永远回避，总有一天你必须面对它。公正地面对它可以消除它的不快乐部分。
You are smart to understand and realise the problem by yourself. That's an impressive feat. Giving autonomy to mind to wander freely promotes overthinking.
Do mindfulness meditation by focusing on the present moment and try to empty the mind of all thoughts. Don't allow any thought to enter while meditating.
Overthinking does makes one miserable, feel helpless and hopeless thus leading to depression.
Don't live in the past nor focus on future, concentrate and line within the present now moment. Be mindful aware of your present.
Try to feel things over the concept of overthinking. Thoughts don't always represent the truth, while feelings are more trustworthy and accurate.
Reality is hard to face and everyone wants to distract self away from the harsh reality. People do drugs, play games,etc to evade reality. Reality can't be avoided forever, one day you have to face it. Facing it fair and square eliminates the unhappiness part of it .
你很聪明，能自己认识到这个问题。这是一个令人印象深刻的壮举。让大脑自由漫步会导致过度思考。
专注于当下，做专注冥想，并尝试清空头脑中的所有想法。冥想时不要让任何思想进入。
过度思考确实会使人痛苦，感到无助和绝望，从而导致抑郁。
不要活在过去，也不要关注未来，集中精力，活在当下。把握现在。
试着去感受过度思考的概念。思想并不总是代表真理，而感觉更值得信赖和准确。
现实是难以面对的，每个人都想分散自己的注意力，远离残酷的现实。人们吸毒、玩游戏等来逃避现实。现实无法永远回避，总有一天你必须面对它。公正地面对它可以消除它的不快乐部分。
Every action and every thought has its own consequence. Believe in yourself and realise that you control your life.
Nothing can be avoided or skipped ,in life one needs to go through life facing all difficulties and odds in life. Never run away from life, yours fears aren't real. Only when you provide energy and focus to your fears,are they bound to grow. Believe and everything is possible until you believe.
Fears become real when they are entertained for sufficient amount of time. You are your life's best judge. It's you alone who has the ability to believe and do anything, but you also are the one who can restraint the freedom and undermine your success in life.
Thoughts need to be regulated, don't entertain thoughts much, act not think. Think less feel more. Thoughts are everything. What you think you become, with your thoughts you shape your reality. Channelise and focus on sextive thoughts and energy. Don't cling to thoughts, emotions, allow them to flow freely without interrupting their flow. It's a way of living,once mastered you can self control your life and achieve whatever you want in life. Listen to what your heart tells you to and also think logically with you mind. Understand what's required off you and never fail to act. Act at all costs. Trust your feelings and slowly and steadily keep moving forward in life.
每一个行动和每一个想法都有它自己的结果。相信自己，并意识到自己控制着自己的生活。
没有什么是可以避免或跳过的，在生活中，一个人需要面对生活中的所有困难。永远不要逃避生活，你的恐惧不是真实的。只有当你为你的恐惧提供能量和注意力时，它们才会成长。相信，一切皆有可能，直到你相信。
当你过度思考恐惧时，恐惧就会变成现实。你是你生命中最好的裁判。只有你有能力相信和做任何事情，但你也可以限制自由，破坏你人生的成功。
思想需要调节，不要过多地思考，行动而不是思考。少思考，多感受。 思想就是一切。你想成为什么样的人，用你的思想塑造你的现实。引导并专注于选择性的思想和能量。 不要执着于思想、情绪，让它们自由流动而不中断它们的流动。 这是一种生活方式，一旦掌握了，你就可以自我控制自己的生活，实现你想要的生活。倾听你的内心告诉你的，并用你的思维进行逻辑思考。 了解你的需求，永远不要不采取行动。 不惜一切代价行动。 相信你的感觉，慢慢地、稳步地在生活中继续前进。
Nothing can be avoided or skipped ,in life one needs to go through life facing all difficulties and odds in life. Never run away from life, yours fears aren't real. Only when you provide energy and focus to your fears,are they bound to grow. Believe and everything is possible until you believe.
Fears become real when they are entertained for sufficient amount of time. You are your life's best judge. It's you alone who has the ability to believe and do anything, but you also are the one who can restraint the freedom and undermine your success in life.
Thoughts need to be regulated, don't entertain thoughts much, act not think. Think less feel more. Thoughts are everything. What you think you become, with your thoughts you shape your reality. Channelise and focus on sextive thoughts and energy. Don't cling to thoughts, emotions, allow them to flow freely without interrupting their flow. It's a way of living,once mastered you can self control your life and achieve whatever you want in life. Listen to what your heart tells you to and also think logically with you mind. Understand what's required off you and never fail to act. Act at all costs. Trust your feelings and slowly and steadily keep moving forward in life.
每一个行动和每一个想法都有它自己的结果。相信自己，并意识到自己控制着自己的生活。
没有什么是可以避免或跳过的，在生活中，一个人需要面对生活中的所有困难。永远不要逃避生活，你的恐惧不是真实的。只有当你为你的恐惧提供能量和注意力时，它们才会成长。相信，一切皆有可能，直到你相信。
当你过度思考恐惧时，恐惧就会变成现实。你是你生命中最好的裁判。只有你有能力相信和做任何事情，但你也可以限制自由，破坏你人生的成功。
思想需要调节，不要过多地思考，行动而不是思考。少思考，多感受。 思想就是一切。你想成为什么样的人，用你的思想塑造你的现实。引导并专注于选择性的思想和能量。 不要执着于思想、情绪，让它们自由流动而不中断它们的流动。 这是一种生活方式，一旦掌握了，你就可以自我控制自己的生活，实现你想要的生活。倾听你的内心告诉你的，并用你的思维进行逻辑思考。 了解你的需求，永远不要不采取行动。 不惜一切代价行动。 相信你的感觉，慢慢地、稳步地在生活中继续前进。
Luciano Ferreri, Pharmacy Assitant (2012-present)
I will try to keep this simple and short. Normally, behind every decision and action we take, there’s a chain of thought, almost nothing happens on the spur of the moment. Now, they say the last thing one can lose is hope, well I say that’s BS. The last thing you can lose is FEAR. Once you stop that fear that’s stoping and dictating every single decision in your life, the only thing that’s left is winning. Why I say this? Well, ask youself: What do you actually and honestly fear of losing by NOT overthinking and overanalysing everything in your life? Because, unless it’s your own life, then there’s absolutly not 1 thing that should stop you from doing anything. Guess what? The most common thing people fear of losing is: people’s approval. What you’ve got to realize is that when people do this, they are basically living their own lives throught everyone else’s eyes. You need to adopt a I-DON’T-GIVE-A-F@K attitude in life if you ever want to live an enjoyable and fun life, because at the end of the day none of those persons you fear will pay your debts, go to work for you or solve any of your problems.
我会尽量保持简单和简短。通常，在我们所做的每一个决定和行动背后，都有一系列的想法，几乎没有任何事情是一时冲动做出的。现在，他们说一个人最不可能失去的就是希望，我说那是废话。你最不可能失去的就是恐惧。一旦你停止了那种阻止和支配你生活中每一个决定的恐惧，唯一剩下的就是胜利。我为什么这么说？好吧，问问你自己：如果不过度思考和过度分析生活中的每件事，你到底害怕失去什么？因为，除非这是你自己的生活，否则绝对没有一件事可以阻止你做任何事情。你猜怎么了？ 人们最害怕失去的东西是：人们的认可。你必须意识到，当人们这样做时，他们基本上是在通过其他人的眼光过自己的生活。如果你想过上愉快而有趣的生活，你需要在生活中采取我不在乎的态度，因为在一天结束时，你担心的那些人中没有一个会偿还你的债务，为你工作或解决你的任何问题。
I will try to keep this simple and short. Normally, behind every decision and action we take, there’s a chain of thought, almost nothing happens on the spur of the moment. Now, they say the last thing one can lose is hope, well I say that’s BS. The last thing you can lose is FEAR. Once you stop that fear that’s stoping and dictating every single decision in your life, the only thing that’s left is winning. Why I say this? Well, ask youself: What do you actually and honestly fear of losing by NOT overthinking and overanalysing everything in your life? Because, unless it’s your own life, then there’s absolutly not 1 thing that should stop you from doing anything. Guess what? The most common thing people fear of losing is: people’s approval. What you’ve got to realize is that when people do this, they are basically living their own lives throught everyone else’s eyes. You need to adopt a I-DON’T-GIVE-A-F@K attitude in life if you ever want to live an enjoyable and fun life, because at the end of the day none of those persons you fear will pay your debts, go to work for you or solve any of your problems.
我会尽量保持简单和简短。通常，在我们所做的每一个决定和行动背后，都有一系列的想法，几乎没有任何事情是一时冲动做出的。现在，他们说一个人最不可能失去的就是希望，我说那是废话。你最不可能失去的就是恐惧。一旦你停止了那种阻止和支配你生活中每一个决定的恐惧，唯一剩下的就是胜利。我为什么这么说？好吧，问问你自己：如果不过度思考和过度分析生活中的每件事，你到底害怕失去什么？因为，除非这是你自己的生活，否则绝对没有一件事可以阻止你做任何事情。你猜怎么了？ 人们最害怕失去的东西是：人们的认可。你必须意识到，当人们这样做时，他们基本上是在通过其他人的眼光过自己的生活。如果你想过上愉快而有趣的生活，你需要在生活中采取我不在乎的态度，因为在一天结束时，你担心的那些人中没有一个会偿还你的债务，为你工作或解决你的任何问题。
Lana Astakhova, OPP Certified MBTI Coach (2007-present)
To stop it - get help. Talk to your parents and ask them to help you find a professional or support group. This is not something to be ashamed of. On the opposite, this is exactly the situation when close people are supposed to help you.
Talk to them about how you feel, your studies, gaming, what you want to change and what stands in your way, that you have been struggling with it for some time. Do it for yourself.
You need regular help and discipline to change your habits. If your family will support you I am sure you will succeed.
Lana Astakhova's answer to Why is overthinking bad, and how do you control it?
Good luck!
要阻止它，就去寻求帮助。和你的父母谈谈，让他们帮你找一个专业人士的或支持小组。这不是什么丢脸的事。相反，这恰恰是亲近的人应该帮助你的。
和他们谈谈你的感受，你的学习，你的游戏，你想要改变的东西以及阻碍你的东西，你已经为此苦苦挣扎了一段时间。为了你自己去做吧。
你需要经常的帮助和训练来改变你的习惯。如果你的家人支持你，我相信你会成功的。
这是我对“为什么过度思考是坏事? 你如何控制它?”的回答。
祝你好运！
To stop it - get help. Talk to your parents and ask them to help you find a professional or support group. This is not something to be ashamed of. On the opposite, this is exactly the situation when close people are supposed to help you.
Talk to them about how you feel, your studies, gaming, what you want to change and what stands in your way, that you have been struggling with it for some time. Do it for yourself.
You need regular help and discipline to change your habits. If your family will support you I am sure you will succeed.
Lana Astakhova's answer to Why is overthinking bad, and how do you control it?
Good luck!
要阻止它，就去寻求帮助。和你的父母谈谈，让他们帮你找一个专业人士的或支持小组。这不是什么丢脸的事。相反，这恰恰是亲近的人应该帮助你的。
和他们谈谈你的感受，你的学习，你的游戏，你想要改变的东西以及阻碍你的东西，你已经为此苦苦挣扎了一段时间。为了你自己去做吧。
你需要经常的帮助和训练来改变你的习惯。如果你的家人支持你，我相信你会成功的。
这是我对“为什么过度思考是坏事? 你如何控制它?”的回答。
祝你好运！
Amber Wang, studied at University of Greenwich
There are soooo many ways to help you.
Writing down your thoughts. We think all the time, it comes and goes like a ghost. Writing helps you observe your thoughts obxtively. Because you can analyze your thoughts and ask yourself why do you think so. It would help you to focus on discovering and solving problems, instead of being controlled by your random thoughts. You can write down anything you think, feel, and focusing on why do you think so and how would you like to make next step.
Meditation or even deep breath. It’s a process of training your mind to redirect your thoughts and calm your mind. Overthinking may lead to anxiety and other emotional problems, but meditation is considered a effective way to reduce stress and develop concentration.
有很多方法可以帮助你。
把你的想法写下来。我们一直在思考，它像幽灵一样来来去去。写下来可以帮助你客观地观察自己的想法。因为你可以分析自己的想法，问问自己为什么这么想。它会帮助你专注于发现和解决问题，而不是被你随意的想法所控制。你可以写下你的任何想法、感受，并专注于你为什么这么想，以及下一步想做什么。
冥想，甚至深呼吸。这是一个训练你思维的过程，让你重新定位你的思维，让你的思维平静下来。过度思考可能会导致焦虑和其他情绪问题，但冥想被认为是减轻压力和培养注意力的有效方法。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
There are soooo many ways to help you.
Writing down your thoughts. We think all the time, it comes and goes like a ghost. Writing helps you observe your thoughts obxtively. Because you can analyze your thoughts and ask yourself why do you think so. It would help you to focus on discovering and solving problems, instead of being controlled by your random thoughts. You can write down anything you think, feel, and focusing on why do you think so and how would you like to make next step.
Meditation or even deep breath. It’s a process of training your mind to redirect your thoughts and calm your mind. Overthinking may lead to anxiety and other emotional problems, but meditation is considered a effective way to reduce stress and develop concentration.
有很多方法可以帮助你。
把你的想法写下来。我们一直在思考，它像幽灵一样来来去去。写下来可以帮助你客观地观察自己的想法。因为你可以分析自己的想法，问问自己为什么这么想。它会帮助你专注于发现和解决问题，而不是被你随意的想法所控制。你可以写下你的任何想法、感受，并专注于你为什么这么想，以及下一步想做什么。
冥想，甚至深呼吸。这是一个训练你思维的过程，让你重新定位你的思维，让你的思维平静下来。过度思考可能会导致焦虑和其他情绪问题，但冥想被认为是减轻压力和培养注意力的有效方法。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Steve Anonby, Many people envy my life but they just don't get it.
I'm driving myself to insanity with over-thinking, self-analysis, self-doubt, self-loathing, internal misery and zero action. What the heck can I do to completely change my brain and actually enjoy my life?
I’m super-happy for the most part. I believe that it’s largely due to loving others, being loved by others and loving myself (I mean “love” in the verb sense of the word, not the emotional “feelings” sense of the word), and those things are largely due to the choices I’ve made.
A couple weeks ago I went on a motorcycle trip with with three of my friends up to Whistler (BC, Canada). Two of them are self-made millionaires, and the other used to have riches and fame (he was room-mates with Brad Pitt and had regular appearances on TV shows, was a popular D-J, a restaurant owner and a night club owner) but lost everything due to addiction. But he’s still a fun, interesting and cool guy to hang with.
过度思考、自我分析、自我怀疑、自我厌恶、内心痛苦和零行动，把我自己逼疯了。我到底能做些什么来彻底改变我的大脑，真正享受生活呢?
我大部分时间都非常开心。我相信这很大程度上是因为爱别人、被别人爱和爱自己 (我指的是“爱”这个词的动词意义，而不是这个词的情感意义上的“感觉”)， 而那些事情很大程度上是因为我所做的选择。
几周前，我和三个朋友骑摩托车去了惠斯勒 (加拿大卑诗省)。其中两人是白手起家的百万富翁，另一个曾经拥有财富和名望 (他是布拉德·皮特的室友，经常出现在电视节目中，是一个受欢迎的DJ，餐馆和夜总会的老板)，但由于药物上瘾，他失去了一切。但他仍然是一个有趣、很酷的家伙。
I'm driving myself to insanity with over-thinking, self-analysis, self-doubt, self-loathing, internal misery and zero action. What the heck can I do to completely change my brain and actually enjoy my life?
I’m super-happy for the most part. I believe that it’s largely due to loving others, being loved by others and loving myself (I mean “love” in the verb sense of the word, not the emotional “feelings” sense of the word), and those things are largely due to the choices I’ve made.
A couple weeks ago I went on a motorcycle trip with with three of my friends up to Whistler (BC, Canada). Two of them are self-made millionaires, and the other used to have riches and fame (he was room-mates with Brad Pitt and had regular appearances on TV shows, was a popular D-J, a restaurant owner and a night club owner) but lost everything due to addiction. But he’s still a fun, interesting and cool guy to hang with.
过度思考、自我分析、自我怀疑、自我厌恶、内心痛苦和零行动，把我自己逼疯了。我到底能做些什么来彻底改变我的大脑，真正享受生活呢?
我大部分时间都非常开心。我相信这很大程度上是因为爱别人、被别人爱和爱自己 (我指的是“爱”这个词的动词意义，而不是这个词的情感意义上的“感觉”)， 而那些事情很大程度上是因为我所做的选择。
几周前，我和三个朋友骑摩托车去了惠斯勒 (加拿大卑诗省)。其中两人是白手起家的百万富翁，另一个曾经拥有财富和名望 (他是布拉德·皮特的室友，经常出现在电视节目中，是一个受欢迎的DJ，餐馆和夜总会的老板)，但由于药物上瘾，他失去了一切。但他仍然是一个有趣、很酷的家伙。
All three of these guys, on three separate occasions during the motorcycle trip confessed they envied me and my life.
1. Millionaire #1 said something like,
You know Steve, I have everything I want - a downtown penthouse suite, a few nice cars and bikes, I frequently have sexual adventures with super-hot girls, I’m surrounded by “fabulous” people and if I want anything, I just buy it. But I have to say that when I came down your driveway and saw your girl on her unicycle, your wife in the garden and your dog running up to greet me, I was filled with envy.”
I replied something like:
Dude if you had what I have, you’d feel trapped and dissatisfied, and you’d probably ditch it all because my life isn’t glamorous or sexy enough. I’ve been married and monogamous for 24 years and my wife, child and dog have caused me huge amounts of stress and inconvenience, and this family man lifestyle has taken down my “fun, free and cool” factor in a huge way. What I have comes at a big cost and you can’t have it all.
这三个人，在摩旅中的三个不同场合都承认他们羡慕我和我的生活。
1. 1号百万富翁说，
史蒂夫，我有我想要的一切——市中心的顶层套房，几辆漂亮的汽车和自行车，我经常和超级辣妹有性冒险，我周围都是“极好的”人，如果我想要什么，我就买下它。但我不得不说，当我来到你家车道上，看到你的女儿骑着独轮车，你的妻子在花园里，你的狗跑过来迎接我时，我充满了嫉妒。”
我是这样回答的:
伙计，如果你有我所拥有的，你会感到被困住和不满，你可能会放弃这一切，因为我的生活不够迷人或性感。我结婚了，实行了24年的一夫一妻制，我的妻子、孩子和狗给我带来了巨大的压力和不便，这种顾家男人的生活方式在很大程度上降低了我“有趣、自由和酷”的因素。我付出了很大的代价，你不可能拥有一切。
1. Millionaire #1 said something like,
You know Steve, I have everything I want - a downtown penthouse suite, a few nice cars and bikes, I frequently have sexual adventures with super-hot girls, I’m surrounded by “fabulous” people and if I want anything, I just buy it. But I have to say that when I came down your driveway and saw your girl on her unicycle, your wife in the garden and your dog running up to greet me, I was filled with envy.”
I replied something like:
Dude if you had what I have, you’d feel trapped and dissatisfied, and you’d probably ditch it all because my life isn’t glamorous or sexy enough. I’ve been married and monogamous for 24 years and my wife, child and dog have caused me huge amounts of stress and inconvenience, and this family man lifestyle has taken down my “fun, free and cool” factor in a huge way. What I have comes at a big cost and you can’t have it all.
这三个人，在摩旅中的三个不同场合都承认他们羡慕我和我的生活。
1. 1号百万富翁说，
史蒂夫，我有我想要的一切——市中心的顶层套房，几辆漂亮的汽车和自行车，我经常和超级辣妹有性冒险，我周围都是“极好的”人，如果我想要什么，我就买下它。但我不得不说，当我来到你家车道上，看到你的女儿骑着独轮车，你的妻子在花园里，你的狗跑过来迎接我时，我充满了嫉妒。”
我是这样回答的:
伙计，如果你有我所拥有的，你会感到被困住和不满，你可能会放弃这一切，因为我的生活不够迷人或性感。我结婚了，实行了24年的一夫一妻制，我的妻子、孩子和狗给我带来了巨大的压力和不便，这种顾家男人的生活方式在很大程度上降低了我“有趣、自由和酷”的因素。我付出了很大的代价，你不可能拥有一切。
2. Millionaire #2 said something like:
I make lots of money - in fact I made over a million bucks in just the last few months - I have a huge luxury yacht, a gorgeous wife and a happy and healthy young son. I’m a published author, a public speaker and people look up to me and aspire to be like me. But this is all a game to me. I’m not happy. I’d give everything I own to have what you’ve got.
I replied something like,
Hear this: NOBODY is happy. Everything sucks. Sucks to be married, sucks to be single. Sucks to have to work every day, sucks to be unemployed. Sucks having a room-mate, sucks living alone. Sucks having to raise kids, sucks never having had kids. Sucks to have the pressures and responsibilities of an important and complex life, sucks to have a small insignificant life. It all sucks!
The secret to being satisfied has very little to do with having all the right stuff and right situations because nothing is ever perfect. But it seems to me that it has more to do with choosing the best, noblest, wisest, sometimes most bitter “pill” to swallow, and committing to it, sour as it may be. Plug your nose, tilt your head back and chug that sucker back with a glass of water, then grit your teeth, shake your head, slam the glass on the table and say “aaaaarg!” and smile without complaining about the taste.
You say you want what I have, but my situation isn’t necessarily any better than the next guy’s. What you see in me that you don’t have is the fact that my life isn’t about chasing and catching what I want - it’s about choosing to be a good man and doing the right thing even if it’s at the expense of more pleasurable options. That’s what makes me feel satisfied and like myself.
2. 2号百万富翁说:
我赚了很多钱——事实上，就在过去的几个月里，我赚了一百多万美元——我有一艘巨大的豪华游艇，一个漂亮的妻子和一个快乐健康的小儿子。我是一名出版作家，一名公众演讲者，人们尊敬我，渴望像我一样。但这对我来说都是游戏。我不快乐。我愿意付出我的一切来换取你所拥有的。
我回答说，
没有人是快乐的。一切都糟透了。结婚很糟糕，单身也很糟糕。每天工作很糟糕，失业也很糟糕。跟人合租很糟糕，一个人住也很糟糕。要抚养孩子很糟糕，从来没有孩子也很糟糕。承受着重要而复杂的生活的压力和责任是糟糕的，拥有渺小微不足道的生活是糟糕的。 这一切都糟透了!
满足的秘诀与拥有所有正确的东西和正确的环境几乎没有关系，因为没有什么是完美的。 但在我看来，它更多地与选择最好的、最高贵的、最聪明的，有时是最苦的“药丸”来吞下，并坚持下去，尽管它可能是酸的。 塞住你的鼻子，把头向后仰，用一杯水把那个玩意向后猛灌，然后咬紧牙关，摇头，把玻璃杯砸在桌子上，说“啊！” 微笑而不抱怨它的味道。
你说你想要我拥有的东西，但我的处境并不一定比其他人好。你在我身上看到的你没有的事实是，我的生活不是追求和抓住我想要的东西，而是选择做一个好人，做正确的事，即使这是以牺牲更快乐的选择为代价的。这让我感到满足，喜欢自己。
I make lots of money - in fact I made over a million bucks in just the last few months - I have a huge luxury yacht, a gorgeous wife and a happy and healthy young son. I’m a published author, a public speaker and people look up to me and aspire to be like me. But this is all a game to me. I’m not happy. I’d give everything I own to have what you’ve got.
I replied something like,
Hear this: NOBODY is happy. Everything sucks. Sucks to be married, sucks to be single. Sucks to have to work every day, sucks to be unemployed. Sucks having a room-mate, sucks living alone. Sucks having to raise kids, sucks never having had kids. Sucks to have the pressures and responsibilities of an important and complex life, sucks to have a small insignificant life. It all sucks!
The secret to being satisfied has very little to do with having all the right stuff and right situations because nothing is ever perfect. But it seems to me that it has more to do with choosing the best, noblest, wisest, sometimes most bitter “pill” to swallow, and committing to it, sour as it may be. Plug your nose, tilt your head back and chug that sucker back with a glass of water, then grit your teeth, shake your head, slam the glass on the table and say “aaaaarg!” and smile without complaining about the taste.
You say you want what I have, but my situation isn’t necessarily any better than the next guy’s. What you see in me that you don’t have is the fact that my life isn’t about chasing and catching what I want - it’s about choosing to be a good man and doing the right thing even if it’s at the expense of more pleasurable options. That’s what makes me feel satisfied and like myself.
2. 2号百万富翁说:
我赚了很多钱——事实上，就在过去的几个月里，我赚了一百多万美元——我有一艘巨大的豪华游艇，一个漂亮的妻子和一个快乐健康的小儿子。我是一名出版作家，一名公众演讲者，人们尊敬我，渴望像我一样。但这对我来说都是游戏。我不快乐。我愿意付出我的一切来换取你所拥有的。
我回答说，
没有人是快乐的。一切都糟透了。结婚很糟糕，单身也很糟糕。每天工作很糟糕，失业也很糟糕。跟人合租很糟糕，一个人住也很糟糕。要抚养孩子很糟糕，从来没有孩子也很糟糕。承受着重要而复杂的生活的压力和责任是糟糕的，拥有渺小微不足道的生活是糟糕的。 这一切都糟透了!
满足的秘诀与拥有所有正确的东西和正确的环境几乎没有关系，因为没有什么是完美的。 但在我看来，它更多地与选择最好的、最高贵的、最聪明的，有时是最苦的“药丸”来吞下，并坚持下去，尽管它可能是酸的。 塞住你的鼻子，把头向后仰，用一杯水把那个玩意向后猛灌，然后咬紧牙关，摇头，把玻璃杯砸在桌子上，说“啊！” 微笑而不抱怨它的味道。
你说你想要我拥有的东西，但我的处境并不一定比其他人好。你在我身上看到的你没有的事实是，我的生活不是追求和抓住我想要的东西，而是选择做一个好人，做正确的事，即使这是以牺牲更快乐的选择为代价的。这让我感到满足，喜欢自己。
3. “Washed-up cool guy” said something like:
Steve, your life is epic. You’re successfully self employed, you do all kinds of cool things, your wife and kid rock, and you have such a good relationship with them - you’re so lucky!
I replied something like
Luck has nothing to do with it man. I’ve logged way more hours with my daughter than most other fathers have, even when I was busy with work and couldn’t really afford the time spent with her. My daughter had some learning disabilities and some issues which sometimes made parenting difficult but I did what I could to provide her with a good life and loving father.
My wife went through 12 years of mental illness which made my life suck.
We weren’t able to have any more kids. She got fat, she was negative, lazy, and unpleasant to be around. But even if I sometimes secretly wished she’d die and set me free, I would grit my teeth and tell her “I’ll always love you no matter what”, and tried my best to show her love and affection, although I found it hard to conjure up those “feelings”. Running my business demanded a lot of time, but I faithfully set aside every Monday as our “date day”, where we would do something for “just the two of us”. I tried to be patient and forgiving and noble through it all, even if she never expressed gratitude or appreciation for my efforts, and I felt taken for granted.
Starting my own business was HARD work, and while others were playing and carefree with their day jobs making good money, I was slugging out long hard stressful hours with very little money for the first several years. When the economy crashed, I lost everything - my acreage, my storefront, my business. But I started again, this time with more experience and wisdom, and I was able to get back on track.
Luck has nothing to do with my great relationship with my family and my reasonably successful business. If you had what I had to work with years ago, you would have selfishly sabotaged everything early on and wouldn’t have what I have now.
3.“事业完蛋的酷家伙”是这样说的:
史蒂夫，你的人生太精彩了。你成功地自主创业，你做了各种很酷的事情，你的妻子和孩子很稳定，你和他们的关系很好——你真幸运！
我回答说：
这跟运气一点关系都没有。我和女儿在一起的时间比大多数父亲都要长，即使我工作很忙，实在抽不出时间陪她。我的女儿有一些学习障碍和一些问题，有时这使养育孩子变得困难，但我尽我所能给她一个良好的生活和当一名充满爱的父亲。
我妻子经历了12年的精神疾病，这让我的生活很糟糕。
我们不能再要孩子了。她变得肥胖，消极，懒惰，不喜欢周围的人。但即使有时我偷偷地希望她死后能让我自由，我也会咬紧牙关告诉她“无论发生什么我都会永远爱你”，并尽我所能地表达对她的爱和感情，尽管我很难想象那些“感觉”。经营我的生意需要大量的时间，但我忠实地把每周一作为我们的“约会日”，我们会做一些“只有我们两个人”的事情。尽管她从未对我的努力表示过感激或赞赏，但我还是试着保持耐心、宽容和高尚，而我觉得这是理所当然的。
创业是一项艰苦的工作，当其他人在悠闲地享受着赚钱的日常工作时，我却在头几年拿着很少的钱，艰难地度过漫长而有压力的时光。当经济崩溃时，我失去了一切——我的土地，我的店面，我的生意。但我重新开始了，这一次我有了更多的经验和智慧，我能够回到正轨。
运气与我与家人的良好关系和我相当成功的事业无关。如果你拥有我多年前所拥有的东西，你早就自私地破坏了一切，也就不会拥有我现在拥有的东西了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Steve, your life is epic. You’re successfully self employed, you do all kinds of cool things, your wife and kid rock, and you have such a good relationship with them - you’re so lucky!
I replied something like
Luck has nothing to do with it man. I’ve logged way more hours with my daughter than most other fathers have, even when I was busy with work and couldn’t really afford the time spent with her. My daughter had some learning disabilities and some issues which sometimes made parenting difficult but I did what I could to provide her with a good life and loving father.
My wife went through 12 years of mental illness which made my life suck.
We weren’t able to have any more kids. She got fat, she was negative, lazy, and unpleasant to be around. But even if I sometimes secretly wished she’d die and set me free, I would grit my teeth and tell her “I’ll always love you no matter what”, and tried my best to show her love and affection, although I found it hard to conjure up those “feelings”. Running my business demanded a lot of time, but I faithfully set aside every Monday as our “date day”, where we would do something for “just the two of us”. I tried to be patient and forgiving and noble through it all, even if she never expressed gratitude or appreciation for my efforts, and I felt taken for granted.
Starting my own business was HARD work, and while others were playing and carefree with their day jobs making good money, I was slugging out long hard stressful hours with very little money for the first several years. When the economy crashed, I lost everything - my acreage, my storefront, my business. But I started again, this time with more experience and wisdom, and I was able to get back on track.
Luck has nothing to do with my great relationship with my family and my reasonably successful business. If you had what I had to work with years ago, you would have selfishly sabotaged everything early on and wouldn’t have what I have now.
3.“事业完蛋的酷家伙”是这样说的:
史蒂夫，你的人生太精彩了。你成功地自主创业，你做了各种很酷的事情，你的妻子和孩子很稳定，你和他们的关系很好——你真幸运！
我回答说：
这跟运气一点关系都没有。我和女儿在一起的时间比大多数父亲都要长，即使我工作很忙，实在抽不出时间陪她。我的女儿有一些学习障碍和一些问题，有时这使养育孩子变得困难，但我尽我所能给她一个良好的生活和当一名充满爱的父亲。
我妻子经历了12年的精神疾病，这让我的生活很糟糕。
我们不能再要孩子了。她变得肥胖，消极，懒惰，不喜欢周围的人。但即使有时我偷偷地希望她死后能让我自由，我也会咬紧牙关告诉她“无论发生什么我都会永远爱你”，并尽我所能地表达对她的爱和感情，尽管我很难想象那些“感觉”。经营我的生意需要大量的时间，但我忠实地把每周一作为我们的“约会日”，我们会做一些“只有我们两个人”的事情。尽管她从未对我的努力表示过感激或赞赏，但我还是试着保持耐心、宽容和高尚，而我觉得这是理所当然的。
创业是一项艰苦的工作，当其他人在悠闲地享受着赚钱的日常工作时，我却在头几年拿着很少的钱，艰难地度过漫长而有压力的时光。当经济崩溃时，我失去了一切——我的土地，我的店面，我的生意。但我重新开始了，这一次我有了更多的经验和智慧，我能够回到正轨。
运气与我与家人的良好关系和我相当成功的事业无关。如果你拥有我多年前所拥有的东西，你早就自私地破坏了一切，也就不会拥有我现在拥有的东西了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Fast forward to present day:
I have a sweet, fun and sexy wife and super-fun daughter who both love and respect me, my friends and family love and respect me, I love and respect myself. I have good friends and do lots of fun and interesting things on a regular basis and yes, my life kind of rocks. I can see how people would want what I have. I wouldn’t trade places with anyone I know.
But my hot tub business (Hot Tubs Galore) still creates stress and busyness, my wife’s still not 100% “well” (some days she’s very difficult to deal with), and my daughter is still a source of concern and worry on an ongoing basis. My beloved dog is old and likely to die soon and my wife and I are starting to feel our age and we both have some health issues.
I “carry” quite a few people in my life (both financially and emotionally) because I have those resources that they need, so I often feel drained and sometime feel “used” and under-appreciated. I give a lot and care a lot - often more than I feel comfortable with, and frankly I don’t feel I’m getting the same back from others. They’ll probably say nice things about me at my funeral, but it would sure be nice to get some acknowledgement while I’m still alive! But I suppose it’s the burden of being a person of substance.
快进到今天:
我有一个可爱、有趣、性感的妻子和超级有趣的女儿，她们爱我、尊重我，我的朋友和家人也爱我、尊重我，我爱自己也尊重自己。我有好朋友，定期做很多有趣的事情，是的，我的生活就像石头一样。我知道人们会想要我拥有的东西。我不会和任何我认识的人交换位置。
但是我的浴缸生意仍然造成了压力和忙碌，我的妻子仍然不是100%的“好”(有时她很难处理)，我女儿仍然是持续担忧的来源。我心爱的狗老了，可能很快就会死去，我和妻子也开始觉得自己老了，而且我们都有一些健康问题。
我在生活中“照顾”了不少人(包括经济上和情感上)，因为我拥有他们需要的资源，所以我经常感到筋疲力尽，有时感觉自己被“利用”了，不被重视。我给予了很多，也关心了很多——往往比我感到舒服的多，坦白地说，我不觉得我从别人那里得到了同样的回报。他们可能会在我的葬礼上说我的好话，但如果能在我还活着的时候得到一些认可，那就太好了! 但我想这是作为一个有钱人的负担。
I have a sweet, fun and sexy wife and super-fun daughter who both love and respect me, my friends and family love and respect me, I love and respect myself. I have good friends and do lots of fun and interesting things on a regular basis and yes, my life kind of rocks. I can see how people would want what I have. I wouldn’t trade places with anyone I know.
But my hot tub business (Hot Tubs Galore) still creates stress and busyness, my wife’s still not 100% “well” (some days she’s very difficult to deal with), and my daughter is still a source of concern and worry on an ongoing basis. My beloved dog is old and likely to die soon and my wife and I are starting to feel our age and we both have some health issues.
I “carry” quite a few people in my life (both financially and emotionally) because I have those resources that they need, so I often feel drained and sometime feel “used” and under-appreciated. I give a lot and care a lot - often more than I feel comfortable with, and frankly I don’t feel I’m getting the same back from others. They’ll probably say nice things about me at my funeral, but it would sure be nice to get some acknowledgement while I’m still alive! But I suppose it’s the burden of being a person of substance.
快进到今天:
我有一个可爱、有趣、性感的妻子和超级有趣的女儿，她们爱我、尊重我，我的朋友和家人也爱我、尊重我，我爱自己也尊重自己。我有好朋友，定期做很多有趣的事情，是的，我的生活就像石头一样。我知道人们会想要我拥有的东西。我不会和任何我认识的人交换位置。
但是我的浴缸生意仍然造成了压力和忙碌，我的妻子仍然不是100%的“好”(有时她很难处理)，我女儿仍然是持续担忧的来源。我心爱的狗老了，可能很快就会死去，我和妻子也开始觉得自己老了，而且我们都有一些健康问题。
我在生活中“照顾”了不少人(包括经济上和情感上)，因为我拥有他们需要的资源，所以我经常感到筋疲力尽，有时感觉自己被“利用”了，不被重视。我给予了很多，也关心了很多——往往比我感到舒服的多，坦白地说，我不觉得我从别人那里得到了同样的回报。他们可能会在我的葬礼上说我的好话，但如果能在我还活着的时候得到一些认可，那就太好了! 但我想这是作为一个有钱人的负担。
4. Another example: Last year I was talking with someone who works for me and was telling him about how there were times that I played on my hands and knees with my young daughter when it was the last thing that I felt like doing, and how during some particularly difficult times, it was nothing but “the vow” that kept me committed to my wife, as there was nothing in it for me at times.
He said, “I respect your convictions but at the end of the day, I believe that we are only responsible for one person’s happiness in this life, and that’s our own. The bottom line is you have to look out for number one - you can’t live to please other people.”
I looked at him and thought (I didn’t say it out loud), “you’re in your 60′s, you’re working for me, you’re missing a front tooth that you can’t afford to fix, you’re separated from your third wife, living alone in a trailer, your daughter’s getting married this weekend and you’re not invited, and you’re sad and lonely. As Dr. Phil would say, ‘So how’s that working for you?’ Meanwhile, my life is great and in spite of my feeling restless at times, I don’t know anyone more genuinely happy than myself.”
I realize that mental illness, clinical depression, personality disorders and genetic predisposition to be unhappy can seriously affect a person’s ability to be happy and feel satisfied, but generally speaking, I personally think that in “normal” situations, the way to a good and satisfying life is to stop chasing the things you want (pleasure, success, money, sexual adventure, prestige) and focus on being a good person and doing the right things, even if it costs you those things that you want. You can’t buy or catch or achieve joy, fulfillment, love and satisfaction - those things will find you and embrace you while you nobly live a “good” life in an intentional way.
4.另一个例子：去年，我和一个为我工作的人交谈，告诉他我有多少次和我的小女儿一起玩我的手和膝盖，而那是我最不想做的事情，以及在一些特别困难的时期，我对妻子的承诺只有“誓言”，因为有时对我来说没有任何意义。
他说：“我尊重你的信念，但归根结底，我相信我们只对一个人的幸福负责，这就是我们自己的幸福。底线是你必须先为自己着想——你不能为了取悦他人而活着。”
我看着他，心想（我没有大声说出来）， “你60多岁了，你在为我工作，你缺了一颗无法修复的门牙，你和第三任妻子分居，独自住在拖车里，你女儿本周末要结婚，你没有被邀请，你感到悲伤和孤独。正如菲尔医生所说，‘那你觉得怎么样？’与此同时，我的生活很美好，尽管我有这种感觉我有时会坐立不安，我不知道还有谁比我自己更幸福。”
我意识到精神疾病、临床抑郁症、人格障碍和不快乐的遗传倾向会严重影响一个人快乐和感到满足的能力，但一般来说，我个人认为在“正常”情况下，获得美好和满足的生活的方法是停止追逐你想要的东西（快乐、成功、金钱、性冒险、声望），专注于做一个好人和做正确的事情，即使这会让你失去你想要的东西。你无法购买、获得或获得快乐、满足、爱和满足——这些东西会找到你并拥抱你，同时你会有意识地过上“美好”的生活。
He said, “I respect your convictions but at the end of the day, I believe that we are only responsible for one person’s happiness in this life, and that’s our own. The bottom line is you have to look out for number one - you can’t live to please other people.”
I looked at him and thought (I didn’t say it out loud), “you’re in your 60′s, you’re working for me, you’re missing a front tooth that you can’t afford to fix, you’re separated from your third wife, living alone in a trailer, your daughter’s getting married this weekend and you’re not invited, and you’re sad and lonely. As Dr. Phil would say, ‘So how’s that working for you?’ Meanwhile, my life is great and in spite of my feeling restless at times, I don’t know anyone more genuinely happy than myself.”
I realize that mental illness, clinical depression, personality disorders and genetic predisposition to be unhappy can seriously affect a person’s ability to be happy and feel satisfied, but generally speaking, I personally think that in “normal” situations, the way to a good and satisfying life is to stop chasing the things you want (pleasure, success, money, sexual adventure, prestige) and focus on being a good person and doing the right things, even if it costs you those things that you want. You can’t buy or catch or achieve joy, fulfillment, love and satisfaction - those things will find you and embrace you while you nobly live a “good” life in an intentional way.
4.另一个例子：去年，我和一个为我工作的人交谈，告诉他我有多少次和我的小女儿一起玩我的手和膝盖，而那是我最不想做的事情，以及在一些特别困难的时期，我对妻子的承诺只有“誓言”，因为有时对我来说没有任何意义。
他说：“我尊重你的信念，但归根结底，我相信我们只对一个人的幸福负责，这就是我们自己的幸福。底线是你必须先为自己着想——你不能为了取悦他人而活着。”
我看着他，心想（我没有大声说出来）， “你60多岁了，你在为我工作，你缺了一颗无法修复的门牙，你和第三任妻子分居，独自住在拖车里，你女儿本周末要结婚，你没有被邀请，你感到悲伤和孤独。正如菲尔医生所说，‘那你觉得怎么样？’与此同时，我的生活很美好，尽管我有这种感觉我有时会坐立不安，我不知道还有谁比我自己更幸福。”
我意识到精神疾病、临床抑郁症、人格障碍和不快乐的遗传倾向会严重影响一个人快乐和感到满足的能力，但一般来说，我个人认为在“正常”情况下，获得美好和满足的生活的方法是停止追逐你想要的东西（快乐、成功、金钱、性冒险、声望），专注于做一个好人和做正确的事情，即使这会让你失去你想要的东西。你无法购买、获得或获得快乐、满足、爱和满足——这些东西会找到你并拥抱你，同时你会有意识地过上“美好”的生活。
Paul Follows, Emotional Abuse Recovery Coach & Meditation Teacher
How do you stop yourself from over analyzing and over thinking conversations, situations and things that happened to you in the past?
Just slowing the mind down with some basic meditation can help a lot. In my experience it doesn’t, in itself, heal the trauma.
Meditation is rarely the panacea it is often held to be.
Counselling and understanding dysfunction is another route. There are many others.
Your journey is your own. Nobody else can tell you what you need. They can give you ideas and tools and methods but it’s ultimately down to you to find your way. Most routes seem quite wiggley when looked back upon. We’re all different.
你如何阻止自己过度分析和思考过去发生在你身上的对话、情况和事情?
仅仅通过一些基本的冥想让大脑慢下来就会有很大的帮助。根据我的经验，它本身并不能治愈创伤。
冥想并不是人们通常认为的万能药。
咨询和理解功能障碍是另一种途径。还有很多其他的方法。
你的旅程属于你自己。没有人能告诉你你需要什么。他们可以给你想法、工具和方法，但最终要靠你自己找到自己的路。回顾过去，大多数路线似乎都很曲折。我们都不一样。
How do you stop yourself from over analyzing and over thinking conversations, situations and things that happened to you in the past?
Just slowing the mind down with some basic meditation can help a lot. In my experience it doesn’t, in itself, heal the trauma.
Meditation is rarely the panacea it is often held to be.
Counselling and understanding dysfunction is another route. There are many others.
Your journey is your own. Nobody else can tell you what you need. They can give you ideas and tools and methods but it’s ultimately down to you to find your way. Most routes seem quite wiggley when looked back upon. We’re all different.
你如何阻止自己过度分析和思考过去发生在你身上的对话、情况和事情?
仅仅通过一些基本的冥想让大脑慢下来就会有很大的帮助。根据我的经验，它本身并不能治愈创伤。
冥想并不是人们通常认为的万能药。
咨询和理解功能障碍是另一种途径。还有很多其他的方法。
你的旅程属于你自己。没有人能告诉你你需要什么。他们可以给你想法、工具和方法，但最终要靠你自己找到自己的路。回顾过去，大多数路线似乎都很曲折。我们都不一样。
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