你从惨痛的教训中学到了什么（三）
正文翻译
What life lesson did you learn the hard way?
你从惨痛的教训中学到了什么?
What life lesson did you learn the hard way?
你从惨痛的教训中学到了什么?
评论翻译
Salman Ali, Skeptical Muslim and Political Nut
萨尔曼·阿里，持怀疑态度的穆斯林和政治狂人
萨尔曼·阿里，持怀疑态度的穆斯林和政治狂人
Small good deeds, if not thought through, can cost you big.
Last week I Uber'ed my way back home from work. I asked the driver to stop a couple streets back like I usually do so they don't have to suffer the hassle of maneuvering their car on wretched incapacious streets of my neighborhood. Walking 40–50 steps to your home isn't a big deal anyway.
I paid the fare, thanked the driver and hopped out of his car. My phone told me it was 9.10pm. I sauntered into the dark narrow street that connects to the street leading to my home. I was right in the middle of that street when I heard the sound of a bike approaching me from behind. It wasn't something unusual as bike is the most popular mode of transportation but few moments later the unusual transpired.
The rider stopped beside me with a smile. The smile that told me I was about to be robbed.
小小的善行，如果不经过深思熟虑，可能会让你付出巨大的代价。
上周，我下班后用优步打车回家。我让司机像往常一样把车停在几条街的后面，这样他们就不必在我的邻居那可怜而又狭小的街道上驾驶他们的汽车呢,步行40-50步到家也没什么大不了的。
我付过车费，向司机表示感谢，然后跳下车。我的电话告诉我当时是晚上9点10分。我漫步进入一条黑暗狭窄的街道，这条街道连接着通往我家的那条街道。当我听到一辆摩托车从后面向我驶来的声音时，我正站在那条街的中间。这并不是什么不寻常的事情，因为摩托车是最受欢迎的交通方式，但没过多久，不寻常的事情发生了。
骑手微笑着停在我身旁，微笑告诉我我就要被抢了。
Last week I Uber'ed my way back home from work. I asked the driver to stop a couple streets back like I usually do so they don't have to suffer the hassle of maneuvering their car on wretched incapacious streets of my neighborhood. Walking 40–50 steps to your home isn't a big deal anyway.
I paid the fare, thanked the driver and hopped out of his car. My phone told me it was 9.10pm. I sauntered into the dark narrow street that connects to the street leading to my home. I was right in the middle of that street when I heard the sound of a bike approaching me from behind. It wasn't something unusual as bike is the most popular mode of transportation but few moments later the unusual transpired.
The rider stopped beside me with a smile. The smile that told me I was about to be robbed.
小小的善行，如果不经过深思熟虑，可能会让你付出巨大的代价。
上周，我下班后用优步打车回家。我让司机像往常一样把车停在几条街的后面，这样他们就不必在我的邻居那可怜而又狭小的街道上驾驶他们的汽车呢,步行40-50步到家也没什么大不了的。
我付过车费，向司机表示感谢，然后跳下车。我的电话告诉我当时是晚上9点10分。我漫步进入一条黑暗狭窄的街道，这条街道连接着通往我家的那条街道。当我听到一辆摩托车从后面向我驶来的声音时，我正站在那条街的中间。这并不是什么不寻常的事情，因为摩托车是最受欢迎的交通方式，但没过多久，不寻常的事情发生了。
骑手微笑着停在我身旁，微笑告诉我我就要被抢了。
“Give me your phone.” he demanded with his left hand in the pocket.
There seemed to be an obscure bulge which could've been anything. But I had no intentions to find out if it indeed was a gun. I took out the phone from my right pocket and handed over to him.
“Take out your wallet!”
“I don't have a wallet.”
“TAKE IT OUT!”
“I don't keep one.” I repeated calmly.
“I saw you putting cash in your pocket. Give it to me!”
I took out the cash from the inner pocket of my jacket and gave it to him.
“From other pockets too!”
I reached the back pocket of my jeans and handed rest of the cash to him as well.
“More!”
“You can shoot me if you want, I don't have anything else to give.”
“把你的手机给我。”他左手插在口袋里问道。
似乎感受到有一个模糊的凸起，可能是任何东西。但我并不想知道这是否真的是一把枪。我从右边口袋里掏出手机递给他。
“拿出你的钱包！”
“我没有钱包。”
“拿出来！”
“我没有。”我平静地重复了一遍。
“我看见你把现金放进口袋里。给我！”
我从夹克的内口袋里掏出现金给了他。
“其他口袋里也有！”
我把手伸进牛仔裤的后口袋，把剩下的钱也递给了他。
“再多一点！”
“如果你愿意，你可以开枪打我，我没有别的东西可以给你了。”
There seemed to be an obscure bulge which could've been anything. But I had no intentions to find out if it indeed was a gun. I took out the phone from my right pocket and handed over to him.
“Take out your wallet!”
“I don't have a wallet.”
“TAKE IT OUT!”
“I don't keep one.” I repeated calmly.
“I saw you putting cash in your pocket. Give it to me!”
I took out the cash from the inner pocket of my jacket and gave it to him.
“From other pockets too!”
I reached the back pocket of my jeans and handed rest of the cash to him as well.
“More!”
“You can shoot me if you want, I don't have anything else to give.”
“把你的手机给我。”他左手插在口袋里问道。
似乎感受到有一个模糊的凸起，可能是任何东西。但我并不想知道这是否真的是一把枪。我从右边口袋里掏出手机递给他。
“拿出你的钱包！”
“我没有钱包。”
“拿出来！”
“我没有。”我平静地重复了一遍。
“我看见你把现金放进口袋里。给我！”
我从夹克的内口袋里掏出现金给了他。
“其他口袋里也有！”
我把手伸进牛仔裤的后口袋，把剩下的钱也递给了他。
“再多一点！”
“如果你愿意，你可以开枪打我，我没有别的东西可以给你了。”
His bike whizzed away as though if it was a rocket on wheels. I slowly walked toward my home as my mind tried to emotionally process what had just happened.
I knew it's unsafe to walk down dark deserted streets during night time and my heart always skipped a beat whenever I heard a bike engine roaring behind me.
But to keep drivers away from minor nuisance, I kept subjecting myself to unnecessary risk. Maybe at some level I thought that since I'm doing good to someone, I wouldn't be harmed. I forgot the world doesn't work that way.
With the financial loss I suffered, I could've paid 15% tip on average fare to next 200 drivers.
The unfortunate incident hasn't deterred me from empathizing, I've just changed the way I empathize.
Lesson learned the hard way.
Small good deeds, if not thought through, can cost you big.
他的摩托车就像一架有轮子的火箭嗖地一声开走了。我慢慢地向家走去，我的大脑试图从情感上处理刚刚发生的事情。
我知道在夜间走在黑暗荒芜的街道上是不安全的，每当我听到身后有摩托车引擎呼啸而过时，我的心脏总是跳个不停。
但为了让司机远离小麻烦，我不断地冒着不必要的风险。也许在某种程度上，我认为既然我对某人做了好事，我就不会受到伤害。我忘了世界不是这样的。
考虑到我遭受的经济损失，我本可以为接下来的200名司机支付平均车费15%的小费。
这件不幸的事并没有阻止我的同情心，我只是改变了我同情的方式。
这是一个深刻的教训。
小小的善行，如果不经过深思熟虑，可能会让你付出巨大的代价。
I knew it's unsafe to walk down dark deserted streets during night time and my heart always skipped a beat whenever I heard a bike engine roaring behind me.
But to keep drivers away from minor nuisance, I kept subjecting myself to unnecessary risk. Maybe at some level I thought that since I'm doing good to someone, I wouldn't be harmed. I forgot the world doesn't work that way.
With the financial loss I suffered, I could've paid 15% tip on average fare to next 200 drivers.
The unfortunate incident hasn't deterred me from empathizing, I've just changed the way I empathize.
Lesson learned the hard way.
Small good deeds, if not thought through, can cost you big.
他的摩托车就像一架有轮子的火箭嗖地一声开走了。我慢慢地向家走去，我的大脑试图从情感上处理刚刚发生的事情。
我知道在夜间走在黑暗荒芜的街道上是不安全的，每当我听到身后有摩托车引擎呼啸而过时，我的心脏总是跳个不停。
但为了让司机远离小麻烦，我不断地冒着不必要的风险。也许在某种程度上，我认为既然我对某人做了好事，我就不会受到伤害。我忘了世界不是这样的。
考虑到我遭受的经济损失，我本可以为接下来的200名司机支付平均车费15%的小费。
这件不幸的事并没有阻止我的同情心，我只是改变了我同情的方式。
这是一个深刻的教训。
小小的善行，如果不经过深思熟虑，可能会让你付出巨大的代价。
Saurav Sharma, Full Stack Python Developer
Saurav Sharma，全栈Python开发者
Saurav Sharma，全栈Python开发者
The difference between hard work and being a slave/labour.
We all know that working hard will take your career and life to the next level.
However most people have a wrong understanding about what exactly hard work is.
Lets take an example to understand this:
Who do you think works the most hard ?
Mr Ambani or a labourer who works at the construction site 12 hours a day in extreme heat.
If you observe and compare their typical work day you will see that Mr Ambani will probably be seated in his air conditioned office, 1000s of loyal employees at his disposal, plenty of capital to invest in any project he wants to.
Pretty comfortable, isn’t it?
On the other hand, the labour starts his day by carrying heavy construction material on his back, tired and hungry most of the times. Would probably have a very less nutritious meal just to satisfy his hunger.
Upon imagining/comparing their daily lives, don’t you think that the labourer does more hard work as compared to Ambani ?
Well, then answer is no!
努力工作和做奴隶/劳工之间的区别。
我们都知道努力工作会让你的事业和生活更上一层楼。
然而，大多数人对到底什么是艰苦工作有错误的理解。
让我们举个例子来理解这一点：
你认为谁工作最努力？
安巴尼（Ambani）先生或一名每天冒着酷热在施工现场工作12小时的工人。
如果你观察和比较他们典型的工作日，你会发现安巴尼先生可能会坐在有空调的办公室里，有1000多名忠诚的员工在他手下，有足够的资金去投资他想投资的项目。
很舒服，不是吗？
另一方面，工人们背着沉重的建筑材料开始一天的工作，大多数时候他又累又饿。为了满足他的饥饿，他可能会吃一顿营养含量很低的饭。
在想象/比较他们的日常生活时，你不认为与安巴尼相比，工人更努力工作吗？
那么答案是否定的！
We all know that working hard will take your career and life to the next level.
However most people have a wrong understanding about what exactly hard work is.
Lets take an example to understand this:
Who do you think works the most hard ?
Mr Ambani or a labourer who works at the construction site 12 hours a day in extreme heat.
If you observe and compare their typical work day you will see that Mr Ambani will probably be seated in his air conditioned office, 1000s of loyal employees at his disposal, plenty of capital to invest in any project he wants to.
Pretty comfortable, isn’t it?
On the other hand, the labour starts his day by carrying heavy construction material on his back, tired and hungry most of the times. Would probably have a very less nutritious meal just to satisfy his hunger.
Upon imagining/comparing their daily lives, don’t you think that the labourer does more hard work as compared to Ambani ?
Well, then answer is no!
努力工作和做奴隶/劳工之间的区别。
我们都知道努力工作会让你的事业和生活更上一层楼。
然而，大多数人对到底什么是艰苦工作有错误的理解。
让我们举个例子来理解这一点：
你认为谁工作最努力？
安巴尼（Ambani）先生或一名每天冒着酷热在施工现场工作12小时的工人。
如果你观察和比较他们典型的工作日，你会发现安巴尼先生可能会坐在有空调的办公室里，有1000多名忠诚的员工在他手下，有足够的资金去投资他想投资的项目。
很舒服，不是吗？
另一方面，工人们背着沉重的建筑材料开始一天的工作，大多数时候他又累又饿。为了满足他的饥饿，他可能会吃一顿营养含量很低的饭。
在想象/比较他们的日常生活时，你不认为与安巴尼相比，工人更努力工作吗？
那么答案是否定的！
Yes, of course the labourers job is more physically daunting but most people fail to look at the bigger picture.
Lets dive a bit deeper and Analyse their situations.
Yes Ambani has 1000s of employees at his disposal but he has a huge responsibility to pay them on time on the other hand the labour does not need to pay anyone else. Instead, he is the one getting paid.
Yes Ambani may have billions of dollars at his disposal, but he would loose millions if he delays investing them as money looses its value with time. Investing in new and bigger projects is a daunting task and is quite risky.
The labourer has a family which depends on him, Ambani has 1000s of families which directly depends on him.
This my friends is what’s called hard work, the work which needs the ability to make extremely hard decisions, being able to accept the responsibility of 1000s of people
劳工的工作在体力上的辛苦程度更令人望而生畏，但大多数人看不到更大的前景。
让我们深入一点，分析他们的情况。
是的，安巴尼有1000名员工可供他支配，但他有巨大的责任，那就是按时向他们支付工资，另一方面，劳工不需要向其他任何人支付工资。相反，他才是得到报酬的人。
是的，安巴尼可能有几十亿美元可供支配，但如果他推迟投资，随着时间的推移，钱的价值会降低，他将损失数百万美元。投资新的和更大的项目是一项艰巨的任务，而且风险很大。
劳动者有一个依赖他的家庭，安巴尼有1000多个直接依赖他的家庭。
我的朋友们，这就是所谓的艰苦工作，这项工作需要有能力做出极其艰难的决定，能够承担1000多人的责任。
Lets dive a bit deeper and Analyse their situations.
Yes Ambani has 1000s of employees at his disposal but he has a huge responsibility to pay them on time on the other hand the labour does not need to pay anyone else. Instead, he is the one getting paid.
Yes Ambani may have billions of dollars at his disposal, but he would loose millions if he delays investing them as money looses its value with time. Investing in new and bigger projects is a daunting task and is quite risky.
The labourer has a family which depends on him, Ambani has 1000s of families which directly depends on him.
This my friends is what’s called hard work, the work which needs the ability to make extremely hard decisions, being able to accept the responsibility of 1000s of people
劳工的工作在体力上的辛苦程度更令人望而生畏，但大多数人看不到更大的前景。
让我们深入一点，分析他们的情况。
是的，安巴尼有1000名员工可供他支配，但他有巨大的责任，那就是按时向他们支付工资，另一方面，劳工不需要向其他任何人支付工资。相反，他才是得到报酬的人。
是的，安巴尼可能有几十亿美元可供支配，但如果他推迟投资，随着时间的推移，钱的价值会降低，他将损失数百万美元。投资新的和更大的项目是一项艰巨的任务，而且风险很大。
劳动者有一个依赖他的家庭，安巴尼有1000多个直接依赖他的家庭。
我的朋友们，这就是所谓的艰苦工作，这项工作需要有能力做出极其艰难的决定，能够承担1000多人的责任。
How this principle applies to your life:
Hard work in career is not about spending 16 hours a day at your office.
Its when you pursue a completely different, challenging career.
Its when you decide to quit your existing job in search of a better one.
Its when you decide to take up or learn a new skill.
Its when you make a bold decision to quit your job and work for yourselves.
Its when you start to pursue what you like instead of playing it safe.
这一原则如何适用于你的生活：
职业生涯中的艰苦工作不是每天花16个小时在办公室。
当你追求一个完全不同、充满挑战的职业时。
当你决定辞掉现有的工作去寻找更好的工作时。
当你决定接受或学习一项新技能时。
当你做出一个大胆的决定，辞去工作，为自己工作的时候。
当你开始追求你喜欢的东西，而不是谨慎行事的时候。
Hard work in career is not about spending 16 hours a day at your office.
Its when you pursue a completely different, challenging career.
Its when you decide to quit your existing job in search of a better one.
Its when you decide to take up or learn a new skill.
Its when you make a bold decision to quit your job and work for yourselves.
Its when you start to pursue what you like instead of playing it safe.
这一原则如何适用于你的生活：
职业生涯中的艰苦工作不是每天花16个小时在办公室。
当你追求一个完全不同、充满挑战的职业时。
当你决定辞掉现有的工作去寻找更好的工作时。
当你决定接受或学习一项新技能时。
当你做出一个大胆的决定，辞去工作，为自己工作的时候。
当你开始追求你喜欢的东西，而不是谨慎行事的时候。
How it worked well in my case:
When I started out in my career, the best decision I made was to work for my selves. This decision alone gave me an edge over everyone else no matter how smart/ hard working they were.
They were making relatively less hourly wage working at a company and had to work a lot harder than me to make the same amount of money.
No matter how hard they work or how rapidly they get promoted, it will be difficult for them to catchup with me.
Was I technically smarter than them?
Definitely no, when I started off we all were on the same page. Some of the guys were way smarter than me and could have made a lot more money than me if they had made the decision to become a freelancer.
我的情况如何：
当我职业生涯起步时，我做的最好的决定就是为自己工作。单是这个决定就让我比其他任何人都有优势，无论他们多么聪明/或多努力工作。
在一家公司工作时，他们在公司工作时的小时工资相对较低，要比我更努力工作才能挣到同样多的钱。
无论他们工作多么努力，升职多么迅速，他们都很难赶上我。
我在技术上比他们厉害吗？
当然不是，我刚开始的时候，我们都在同一起点上。有些人比我聪明得多，如果他们决定成为一名自由职业者，他们本可以比我赚更多的钱。
When I started out in my career, the best decision I made was to work for my selves. This decision alone gave me an edge over everyone else no matter how smart/ hard working they were.
They were making relatively less hourly wage working at a company and had to work a lot harder than me to make the same amount of money.
No matter how hard they work or how rapidly they get promoted, it will be difficult for them to catchup with me.
Was I technically smarter than them?
Definitely no, when I started off we all were on the same page. Some of the guys were way smarter than me and could have made a lot more money than me if they had made the decision to become a freelancer.
我的情况如何：
当我职业生涯起步时，我做的最好的决定就是为自己工作。单是这个决定就让我比其他任何人都有优势，无论他们多么聪明/或多努力工作。
在一家公司工作时，他们在公司工作时的小时工资相对较低，要比我更努力工作才能挣到同样多的钱。
无论他们工作多么努力，升职多么迅速，他们都很难赶上我。
我在技术上比他们厉害吗？
当然不是，我刚开始的时候，我们都在同一起点上。有些人比我聪明得多，如果他们决定成为一名自由职业者，他们本可以比我赚更多的钱。
Moral of the story:
Choose a path which is less taken, if you follow the path taken by an average person you will eventually end up being like them.
Understand the difference between hard work and manual labour.
Making decisions is always the hardest to do in life, one small decision can drastically alter the course of your life hence you must get extremely good at decision making.
Your actions should match your decisions, you can decide to be a billionaire today but it would make no sense if you cant back it up with solid actions.
Your decision must be genuine and a bit un-comforting and It must be backed with action.
If you are paid less in your day job, instead of working overtime you must focus on learning a new skill that pays well.
Hope this helps.
故事的寓意：
选择一条较少人走的路，如果你沿着一个普通人走的路走，你最终会像他们一样。
理解努力工作和体力劳动之间的区别。
做决定永远是人生中最难的事情，一个小小的决定可以彻底改变你的人生历程，因此你必须非常擅长做决定。
你的行动应该与你的决定相匹配，你今天可以决定成为亿万富翁，但如果你不能用坚实的行动来支持它，那就没有意义了。
你的决定必须是真实的，有点令人不适，必须用行动支持。
如果你在日常工作中收入较低，那么你必须专注于学习一项收入丰厚的新技能，而不是加班。
希望这有帮助。
Choose a path which is less taken, if you follow the path taken by an average person you will eventually end up being like them.
Understand the difference between hard work and manual labour.
Making decisions is always the hardest to do in life, one small decision can drastically alter the course of your life hence you must get extremely good at decision making.
Your actions should match your decisions, you can decide to be a billionaire today but it would make no sense if you cant back it up with solid actions.
Your decision must be genuine and a bit un-comforting and It must be backed with action.
If you are paid less in your day job, instead of working overtime you must focus on learning a new skill that pays well.
Hope this helps.
故事的寓意：
选择一条较少人走的路，如果你沿着一个普通人走的路走，你最终会像他们一样。
理解努力工作和体力劳动之间的区别。
做决定永远是人生中最难的事情，一个小小的决定可以彻底改变你的人生历程，因此你必须非常擅长做决定。
你的行动应该与你的决定相匹配，你今天可以决定成为亿万富翁，但如果你不能用坚实的行动来支持它，那就没有意义了。
你的决定必须是真实的，有点令人不适，必须用行动支持。
如果你在日常工作中收入较低，那么你必须专注于学习一项收入丰厚的新技能，而不是加班。
希望这有帮助。
Nadia Diane ????? ?????, Bachelor’s Degrees Elementary Education & English, Lewis University (2023)
As I am nearing the end of my marriage and have found myself alone and independent in this world of ours, I am learning that:
There are people that do not mean well for me.
That I cannot trust everyone around me since I no longer live in a tight-knit circle.
That there are men whose only aim is seeking gratification from me.
That not everyone deserves my openness of thoughts and expression.
That my truth is my own and if someone doesn’t wish to validate it, I no longer should try to convince them.
That love is rare. So many look for it and when they receive it, they are unsure how to care for it.
That the world is a dangerous place that warrants me to protect myself.
That I need to be assertive.
That it is okay to say no for something that has no benefit for me.
That when my first plan doesn’t work, to have many back-up plans. And if all else fails, to accept it.
当我的婚姻即将结束，我发现自己在这个世界上是孤独和独立之时，我知道：
有些人对我不好。
自从我不再生活在一个紧密联系的圈子里时，我不能相信身边的每一个人。
有些人的唯一目的就是向我寻求满足。
不是每个人都值得我敞开心扉去表达。
我的真相是关于我自己的，如果有人不想证实它，我就不应该再试图说服他们
爱是罕见的，很多人都在寻找它，当他们收到它时，他们不确定如何呵护它。
世界很危险，需要我保护自己。
我需要自信。
对一些对我没有好处的事情说“不”是可以的。
当我的第一个计划不起作用时，我需要有很多备用计划。如果其他一切都失败了，那就接受它。
As I am nearing the end of my marriage and have found myself alone and independent in this world of ours, I am learning that:
There are people that do not mean well for me.
That I cannot trust everyone around me since I no longer live in a tight-knit circle.
That there are men whose only aim is seeking gratification from me.
That not everyone deserves my openness of thoughts and expression.
That my truth is my own and if someone doesn’t wish to validate it, I no longer should try to convince them.
That love is rare. So many look for it and when they receive it, they are unsure how to care for it.
That the world is a dangerous place that warrants me to protect myself.
That I need to be assertive.
That it is okay to say no for something that has no benefit for me.
That when my first plan doesn’t work, to have many back-up plans. And if all else fails, to accept it.
当我的婚姻即将结束，我发现自己在这个世界上是孤独和独立之时，我知道：
有些人对我不好。
自从我不再生活在一个紧密联系的圈子里时，我不能相信身边的每一个人。
有些人的唯一目的就是向我寻求满足。
不是每个人都值得我敞开心扉去表达。
我的真相是关于我自己的，如果有人不想证实它，我就不应该再试图说服他们
爱是罕见的，很多人都在寻找它，当他们收到它时，他们不确定如何呵护它。
世界很危险，需要我保护自己。
我需要自信。
对一些对我没有好处的事情说“不”是可以的。
当我的第一个计划不起作用时，我需要有很多备用计划。如果其他一切都失败了，那就接受它。
Loy Machedo, Mentor & Coach at Life and Living
There are 2 lessons in my life which shaped my life and they were by far - the hardest lessons to learn.
Lesson 1
The fact that my own Mother didn’t love me - that too at the age of 33 after yearning, begging and pleading for her love. After always believing that she loved me. That deep down somewhere I was her son. And when my mentor who knew both me and even my mother from childhood days - told me the truth - it hit me like a truck ramming into my chest.
I was suffocating and couldn’t breath. I wept and cried bitterly like I had never cried in my life. To know that your own mother - your own flesh and blood never loved you - is the hardest truth one can face.
Lesson 2
And the second one was when I was about to kill myself. When I stood near the railway tracks waiting for the train to arrive so that I could kill myself - I wept and wept and wept, until there were no more tears left. Until my eyes were burning red and swollen. Until I couldn’t cry any more. I just didn’t have the energy. And I realized no one cared. There was no mother, no father, no god - nothing. All these theories of life - were all man made. And if I had to do something - I had to do it by myself. I had to take personal responsibility to change my life. There was no good. There was no bad. There was no god. There was no devil. Just me. Just what I could do and what I could change about my life. And it was all in my hands. And that day when I decided - no more god. No more BS. No more of these man-made rules of good and bad - my life changed from being penniless on the streets - the global brand I am today.
在我的人生中有两堂课塑造了我的人生，它们是迄今为止最难学的一课。
第1课
事实上，我自己的母亲并不爱我——在33岁的时候，在渴望、乞求和恳求她的爱之后，她也不爱我。在本一直相信她爱我之后。在内心深处，我是她的儿子。我的导师从小就认识我，甚至认识我的母亲，当他告诉我真相时，就像一辆卡车撞进了我的胸膛。
我喘不过气来。我哭了又哭，像我这辈子从来没有哭过一样。知道你自己的母亲——你的至亲从未爱过你——是一个人能面对的最艰难的事实。
第2课
第二次是我正要自杀的时候。当我站在铁轨附近等待火车到达，以便自杀时，我哭了又哭，哭了又哭，直到再也没有眼泪了。直到我的眼睛又红又肿。直到我再也哭不出来。我恰好没有任何精力。我意识到没人在乎。没有母亲，没有父亲，没有上帝——什么都没有。所有这些关于生命的理论都是人为的。如果我必须做点什么，我必须自己做。我必须承担起改变我生活的个人责任。没有什么好处，也没有什么不好的。没有上帝，没有魔鬼。只有我。我能做什么，我能改变我的生活，一切都掌握在我手中。那天我决定，不再信奉上帝，不再废话。不再有这些人为的善恶规则——我的生活从流浪街头时身无分文变成了如今全身都是全球品牌的样子。
There are 2 lessons in my life which shaped my life and they were by far - the hardest lessons to learn.
Lesson 1
The fact that my own Mother didn’t love me - that too at the age of 33 after yearning, begging and pleading for her love. After always believing that she loved me. That deep down somewhere I was her son. And when my mentor who knew both me and even my mother from childhood days - told me the truth - it hit me like a truck ramming into my chest.
I was suffocating and couldn’t breath. I wept and cried bitterly like I had never cried in my life. To know that your own mother - your own flesh and blood never loved you - is the hardest truth one can face.
Lesson 2
And the second one was when I was about to kill myself. When I stood near the railway tracks waiting for the train to arrive so that I could kill myself - I wept and wept and wept, until there were no more tears left. Until my eyes were burning red and swollen. Until I couldn’t cry any more. I just didn’t have the energy. And I realized no one cared. There was no mother, no father, no god - nothing. All these theories of life - were all man made. And if I had to do something - I had to do it by myself. I had to take personal responsibility to change my life. There was no good. There was no bad. There was no god. There was no devil. Just me. Just what I could do and what I could change about my life. And it was all in my hands. And that day when I decided - no more god. No more BS. No more of these man-made rules of good and bad - my life changed from being penniless on the streets - the global brand I am today.
在我的人生中有两堂课塑造了我的人生，它们是迄今为止最难学的一课。
第1课
事实上，我自己的母亲并不爱我——在33岁的时候，在渴望、乞求和恳求她的爱之后，她也不爱我。在本一直相信她爱我之后。在内心深处，我是她的儿子。我的导师从小就认识我，甚至认识我的母亲，当他告诉我真相时，就像一辆卡车撞进了我的胸膛。
我喘不过气来。我哭了又哭，像我这辈子从来没有哭过一样。知道你自己的母亲——你的至亲从未爱过你——是一个人能面对的最艰难的事实。
第2课
第二次是我正要自杀的时候。当我站在铁轨附近等待火车到达，以便自杀时，我哭了又哭，哭了又哭，直到再也没有眼泪了。直到我的眼睛又红又肿。直到我再也哭不出来。我恰好没有任何精力。我意识到没人在乎。没有母亲，没有父亲，没有上帝——什么都没有。所有这些关于生命的理论都是人为的。如果我必须做点什么，我必须自己做。我必须承担起改变我生活的个人责任。没有什么好处，也没有什么不好的。没有上帝，没有魔鬼。只有我。我能做什么，我能改变我的生活，一切都掌握在我手中。那天我决定，不再信奉上帝，不再废话。不再有这些人为的善恶规则——我的生活从流浪街头时身无分文变成了如今全身都是全球品牌的样子。
Anshul Sharma, lives in London
安舒尔·夏尔马(Anshul Sharma)住在伦敦
安舒尔·夏尔马(Anshul Sharma)住在伦敦
This too shall pass!
Things will be okay soon!
This is just a phase!
How many times have you heard this from someone when you’re going through a bad time? Or, how many times have you said it to someone who needs these words?
My guess is, a lot of times.
When someone said these words to you, did you feel better? Or, when you said these words to someone, did it make them feel better?
Sometimes, these words do make you feel good, but when the suffering seems endless, all these lines feel like nothing but a load of bulls**t.
After a series of mind-numbing experiences, after which you would lose all the hope and optimism, I still believe these lines make sense. But…
There is a catch!
这也会过去的！
事情很快就会好的！
这只是一个阶段！
当你经历一段不好的时光时，你多少次听别人这样说过？或者，你对需要听这些话的人说过多少次了?
我猜，很多吧。
当有人对你说这些话时，你感觉好些了吗？或者，当你对某人说这些话时，是否让他们感觉更好？
有时候，这些话确实让你感觉很好，但当痛苦似乎无穷无尽时，所有这些话只会让你感觉这都是一派胡言。
在经历了一系列令人麻木的经历之后，你会失去所有的希望和乐观，我仍然相信这些话是有道理的，但是…...
有个陷阱！
Things will be okay soon!
This is just a phase!
How many times have you heard this from someone when you’re going through a bad time? Or, how many times have you said it to someone who needs these words?
My guess is, a lot of times.
When someone said these words to you, did you feel better? Or, when you said these words to someone, did it make them feel better?
Sometimes, these words do make you feel good, but when the suffering seems endless, all these lines feel like nothing but a load of bulls**t.
After a series of mind-numbing experiences, after which you would lose all the hope and optimism, I still believe these lines make sense. But…
There is a catch!
这也会过去的！
事情很快就会好的！
这只是一个阶段！
当你经历一段不好的时光时，你多少次听别人这样说过？或者，你对需要听这些话的人说过多少次了?
我猜，很多吧。
当有人对你说这些话时，你感觉好些了吗？或者，当你对某人说这些话时，是否让他们感觉更好？
有时候，这些话确实让你感觉很好，但当痛苦似乎无穷无尽时，所有这些话只会让你感觉这都是一派胡言。
在经历了一系列令人麻木的经历之后，你会失去所有的希望和乐观，我仍然相信这些话是有道理的，但是…...
有个陷阱！
The catch is -
When will this phase pass away?
When will things be okay again?
How long is this phase going to last?
When the problems will be over, would I be left with enough to hope for a better tomorrow?
Does someone have an answer for this?
Or, can you throw a couple more lines you read from the internet or heard from someone to make these questions sound less scary?
I don’t think so!
So what now?
You can learn a lesson either through your own experiences or through someone else’s. But what’s hard is to not just ask questions, but to stop seeking answers where there are none. At times, you just have to go with the flow.
I’m learning this the hard way, you should too.
问题是:
这个阶段什么时候结束？
什么时候一切都会好起来？
这个阶段会持续多久？
当这些问题结束时，我会有足够的钱来期待一个更好的明天吗？
有人对此有答案吗？
或者，你能在网上多读几句话，或者从别人那里听到几句话，让这些问题听起来不那么可怕吗？
我不这么认为！
那现在怎么办？
你可以通过自己的经历或其他人的经历来吸取教训。但困难的是，不仅要问问题，还要在没有答案的地方停止寻找答案。有时候，你只需要随波逐流就好。
我正在努力学习，你也应该如此。
When will this phase pass away?
When will things be okay again?
How long is this phase going to last?
When the problems will be over, would I be left with enough to hope for a better tomorrow?
Does someone have an answer for this?
Or, can you throw a couple more lines you read from the internet or heard from someone to make these questions sound less scary?
I don’t think so!
So what now?
You can learn a lesson either through your own experiences or through someone else’s. But what’s hard is to not just ask questions, but to stop seeking answers where there are none. At times, you just have to go with the flow.
I’m learning this the hard way, you should too.
问题是:
这个阶段什么时候结束？
什么时候一切都会好起来？
这个阶段会持续多久？
当这些问题结束时，我会有足够的钱来期待一个更好的明天吗？
有人对此有答案吗？
或者，你能在网上多读几句话，或者从别人那里听到几句话，让这些问题听起来不那么可怕吗？
我不这么认为！
那现在怎么办？
你可以通过自己的经历或其他人的经历来吸取教训。但困难的是，不仅要问问题，还要在没有答案的地方停止寻找答案。有时候，你只需要随波逐流就好。
我正在努力学习，你也应该如此。
Victoria Hutt, Russian-American
Sometimes I get really nasty comments under my answers. For instance, one day I opened up about being adopted and some of the hardships my family has faced due to it.
I went through the collapsed comments and found someone who had commented, “Why do Americans adopt from other countries.”
For a minute, I was crushed. I worked hard writing that answer, and had put myself out there by writing about a topic that made me vulnerable, yet I somehow got shit on for it.
Another time, I decided to post about my Quora on Instagram. I lixed it on my profile and had a curated post featuring my current stats at the time and certain parts of my bio.
My ex boyfriend’s current girlfriend took it upon herself to deep search my profile and ended up finding things written about my ex, her current boyfriend, that didn’t paint him in the best light.
有时候，我的答案下面会有一些非常恶劣的评论。例如，有一天，我公开了自己被领养以及我的家人因此而面临的一些困难的事情。
我翻阅了那些让人崩溃的评论，发现有人评论道：“为什么美国人要从其他国家去收养孩子。”
有一分钟，我真要崩溃了。我努力写下了答案，写下了一个让我脆弱的话题，让自己站在那里，但我不知怎么地就搞砸了。
还有一次，我决定在Instagram上发布我的Quora。我把它链接到我的个人资料上，并寻求一个策划类职位，展示我当前的状态和我的个人简历的某些部分。
我的前男友的现任女友主动深入搜索我的个人资料，结果发现写有关于我前男友，她现任男友的内容，并没有把他描绘得很好。
Sometimes I get really nasty comments under my answers. For instance, one day I opened up about being adopted and some of the hardships my family has faced due to it.
I went through the collapsed comments and found someone who had commented, “Why do Americans adopt from other countries.”
For a minute, I was crushed. I worked hard writing that answer, and had put myself out there by writing about a topic that made me vulnerable, yet I somehow got shit on for it.
Another time, I decided to post about my Quora on Instagram. I lixed it on my profile and had a curated post featuring my current stats at the time and certain parts of my bio.
My ex boyfriend’s current girlfriend took it upon herself to deep search my profile and ended up finding things written about my ex, her current boyfriend, that didn’t paint him in the best light.
有时候，我的答案下面会有一些非常恶劣的评论。例如，有一天，我公开了自己被领养以及我的家人因此而面临的一些困难的事情。
我翻阅了那些让人崩溃的评论，发现有人评论道：“为什么美国人要从其他国家去收养孩子。”
有一分钟，我真要崩溃了。我努力写下了答案，写下了一个让我脆弱的话题，让自己站在那里，但我不知怎么地就搞砸了。
还有一次，我决定在Instagram上发布我的Quora。我把它链接到我的个人资料上，并寻求一个策划类职位，展示我当前的状态和我的个人简历的某些部分。
我的前男友的现任女友主动深入搜索我的个人资料，结果发现写有关于我前男友，她现任男友的内容，并没有把他描绘得很好。
She ended up texting him about it, and instead of coming to me about it like a mature adult, he decided to screenshot it and had his parents take it to my parents.
(Then he wonders why I don’t paint him in a good light… Back to the main point.)
Multiple times have I been criticized for writing the way I do, and the criticism continues to grow as I gain more recognition.
I don’t have a choice who sees my content and by clicking the “submit” button, I am not only acknowledging that my work is now out on the public web for the world to do what they want with it, I also am not allowed to obxt against those who feel invited to morally critique my experiences.
Writing on Quora is sort of like sex, but in another way, it isn’t at all.
最后她给他发了短信，他没有像成年人一样来找我，而是决定截屏，让他的父母把它带给我的父母。
（然后他想知道为什么我不把他描绘得很好一点，接着回到正题）
我曾多次因为我的写作方式而受到批评，随着我获得更多的认可，但批评声也在继续增长。
我没有选择“谁可以看到我的内容”这一选项，就点击“提交”按钮，我不仅承认我的工作现在在公共网络上发布，让全世界为所欲为，我也不允许反对那些自认为受邀对我的经历进行道德批判的人。
在Quora上写作有点像性，但从另一个角度看，它根本不是。
(Then he wonders why I don’t paint him in a good light… Back to the main point.)
Multiple times have I been criticized for writing the way I do, and the criticism continues to grow as I gain more recognition.
I don’t have a choice who sees my content and by clicking the “submit” button, I am not only acknowledging that my work is now out on the public web for the world to do what they want with it, I also am not allowed to obxt against those who feel invited to morally critique my experiences.
Writing on Quora is sort of like sex, but in another way, it isn’t at all.
最后她给他发了短信，他没有像成年人一样来找我，而是决定截屏，让他的父母把它带给我的父母。
（然后他想知道为什么我不把他描绘得很好一点，接着回到正题）
我曾多次因为我的写作方式而受到批评，随着我获得更多的认可，但批评声也在继续增长。
我没有选择“谁可以看到我的内容”这一选项，就点击“提交”按钮，我不仅承认我的工作现在在公共网络上发布，让全世界为所欲为，我也不允许反对那些自认为受邀对我的经历进行道德批判的人。
在Quora上写作有点像性，但从另一个角度看，它根本不是。
I can be dressed in a miniskirt and lingerie bra but if I have not consented to sex, it is rape. The argument that I shouldn’t have been dressed a certain way is invalid when sex is an act of mutual consent.
By posting what I write, I am consenting to criticisms of all sorts. I’m not able to control how I make people feel when they read my content. There are times where I am trying to invoke a particular response out of a reader, but if you feel differently, that isn’t your or my fault.
I’m much more comfortable with the internet than my parents or say, my grandmother who does happen to read what I post, since I grew up around it, but it’s important that I still recognize that the internet can be a dangerous place.
Occasionally my grandmother will call me up and question me about something I’ve written, and although I may not agree to it, by putting what I choose to out there, it would be wrong of me to get mad at her for having her own opinion.
I’m no pop Quoran, but having my content interacted with on a very frequent basis has given me a teensy glimpse of what celebrities go through.
我可以穿着迷你裙和内衣文胸，但如果我不同意性行为，那就是强奸。当性行为是双方同意的行为时，我不应该穿成这样的论点是无效的。
通过发布我所写的内容，我同意各种批评。当人们阅读我的内容时，我无法控制我给他们的感觉。有时，我试图从读者那里获得某种特定的回应，但如果你有不同的感觉，那不是你或我的错。
我比我的父母或者说我的祖母更喜欢互联网，因为我是在互联网环境长大的，她碰巧读过我的帖子，但重要的是我仍然认识到互联网可能是一个危险的地方。
偶尔我的祖母会打电话问问我写的东西，虽然我可能不赞成她所说的，但如果把我选择的东西公之于众，我就不能对她有自己的意见而生气。
我不是受欢迎的QA写手，但我就其内容经常与人互动，这让我对名人的经历有了一个小小的了解。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
By posting what I write, I am consenting to criticisms of all sorts. I’m not able to control how I make people feel when they read my content. There are times where I am trying to invoke a particular response out of a reader, but if you feel differently, that isn’t your or my fault.
I’m much more comfortable with the internet than my parents or say, my grandmother who does happen to read what I post, since I grew up around it, but it’s important that I still recognize that the internet can be a dangerous place.
Occasionally my grandmother will call me up and question me about something I’ve written, and although I may not agree to it, by putting what I choose to out there, it would be wrong of me to get mad at her for having her own opinion.
I’m no pop Quoran, but having my content interacted with on a very frequent basis has given me a teensy glimpse of what celebrities go through.
我可以穿着迷你裙和内衣文胸，但如果我不同意性行为，那就是强奸。当性行为是双方同意的行为时，我不应该穿成这样的论点是无效的。
通过发布我所写的内容，我同意各种批评。当人们阅读我的内容时，我无法控制我给他们的感觉。有时，我试图从读者那里获得某种特定的回应，但如果你有不同的感觉，那不是你或我的错。
我比我的父母或者说我的祖母更喜欢互联网，因为我是在互联网环境长大的，她碰巧读过我的帖子，但重要的是我仍然认识到互联网可能是一个危险的地方。
偶尔我的祖母会打电话问问我写的东西，虽然我可能不赞成她所说的，但如果把我选择的东西公之于众，我就不能对她有自己的意见而生气。
我不是受欢迎的QA写手，但我就其内容经常与人互动，这让我对名人的经历有了一个小小的了解。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Their music is loved. Their music is hated. Their lifestyle is to die for. Their lifestyle is controversial. They are inspiring. They are crazy and psychotic. Every celebrity has fans and critiques on both sides of the pendulum, and by putting myself out there, so do I.
I’m too young to be writing about my personal experiences.
I show too much skin in some of my answers.
I need to cite better sources in my political answers.
I should do this. I shouldn’t do that.
Everybody feels entitled to their own opinions.
The hardest lesson for me to grasp is that I’m not allowed to argue with the people who don’t like my content.
I like to think I put a lot of work into my answers and it’s not that I’m sensitive to criticism
Yet you are still allowed to hate me.
And I’m not entitled to do a damn thing about it.
他们的音乐很受欢迎。他们的音乐令人讨厌。他们的生活方式令人叹为观止。他们的生活方式备受争议。他们很鼓舞人心。他们疯了，有精神病。每一位名人都有自己的粉丝，会遭受批评，我也一样。
我还太小，无法写我的个人经历。
我的一些回答太肤浅了。
我需要在我的政治回答中引用更好的来源。
我应该这么做。我不应该那样做。
每个人都觉得有权发表自己的意见。
对我来说，最难掌握的一课是，我不允许与不喜欢我的内容的人争论。
我认为我在回答问题上花了很多功夫，并不是说我对批评很敏感。
但你仍然可以恨我。
我无权对此做任何事。
I’m too young to be writing about my personal experiences.
I show too much skin in some of my answers.
I need to cite better sources in my political answers.
I should do this. I shouldn’t do that.
Everybody feels entitled to their own opinions.
The hardest lesson for me to grasp is that I’m not allowed to argue with the people who don’t like my content.
I like to think I put a lot of work into my answers and it’s not that I’m sensitive to criticism
Yet you are still allowed to hate me.
And I’m not entitled to do a damn thing about it.
他们的音乐很受欢迎。他们的音乐令人讨厌。他们的生活方式令人叹为观止。他们的生活方式备受争议。他们很鼓舞人心。他们疯了，有精神病。每一位名人都有自己的粉丝，会遭受批评，我也一样。
我还太小，无法写我的个人经历。
我的一些回答太肤浅了。
我需要在我的政治回答中引用更好的来源。
我应该这么做。我不应该那样做。
每个人都觉得有权发表自己的意见。
对我来说，最难掌握的一课是，我不允许与不喜欢我的内容的人争论。
我认为我在回答问题上花了很多功夫，并不是说我对批评很敏感。
但你仍然可以恨我。
我无权对此做任何事。
Yash Bajaj, SDE - 2 at Microsoft (2019-present)
You do not have to impress everyone
I had this anxious behaviour of impressing everyone around me, please everyone around me, make them like me, try my best to appear cool in the first 2 years of college.
If someone doesn’t like you back, you enter into an endless loop of retrospection and self loathing, blaming yourself to be uncool. This happened until a point where I realized that I should only do the things that I like and stop this impress-everyone behaviour.
Today, I do what I love, only do what I love and seek validation only from a limited set of people.
你不必给每个人留下深刻印象。
我有一种焦虑的行为，那就是给周围的人留下深刻印象，取悦周围的人，让他们喜欢我，在大学的头两年里尽我最大的努力让自己看起来很酷。
如果有人不喜欢你，你就会陷入一个无休止的反省和自我厌恶的循环，责怪自己不酷。直到我意识到我应该只做我喜欢的事情，并停止这种给每个人留下深刻印象的行为。
如今，我做我喜欢的事，只做我喜欢的事，只从有限的人群中寻求认可。
You do not have to impress everyone
I had this anxious behaviour of impressing everyone around me, please everyone around me, make them like me, try my best to appear cool in the first 2 years of college.
If someone doesn’t like you back, you enter into an endless loop of retrospection and self loathing, blaming yourself to be uncool. This happened until a point where I realized that I should only do the things that I like and stop this impress-everyone behaviour.
Today, I do what I love, only do what I love and seek validation only from a limited set of people.
你不必给每个人留下深刻印象。
我有一种焦虑的行为，那就是给周围的人留下深刻印象，取悦周围的人，让他们喜欢我，在大学的头两年里尽我最大的努力让自己看起来很酷。
如果有人不喜欢你，你就会陷入一个无休止的反省和自我厌恶的循环，责怪自己不酷。直到我意识到我应该只做我喜欢的事情，并停止这种给每个人留下深刻印象的行为。
如今，我做我喜欢的事，只做我喜欢的事，只从有限的人群中寻求认可。
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