我该如何保护自己不被言语威胁(一)
正文翻译
How can I defend myself from being verbally bullied?
我该如何保护自己不被言语威胁?
How can I defend myself from being verbally bullied?
我该如何保护自己不被言语威胁?
评论翻译
Douglas Frederick, Lifetime experiences with the disordered
道格拉斯·弗雷德里克，终生残疾
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
道格拉斯·弗雷德里克，终生残疾
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
You cut these people and others you know in common out of your life.
These people spread emotional cancer.
The only way to heal is to cut out the tumor.
And like healing from cutting out a tumor cutting out emotional cancer is the same.
Instead of losing hair you will lose people.
And then healing takes time from this operation.
Let out all of the anger, pain and anxiety in private.
Then, treat yourself kindly.
Take a bath, walk.
Watch a comedy.
You will heal eventually.
你从你的生活中把这些人和你认识的其他人给断绝开。
这些人传播情感癌症。
治愈的唯一方法是切除肿瘤。
就像切除肿瘤让身体愈合一样，切除情感癌症也是一样的。
不然你会失去人而不是掉头发。
治疗需要时间。
私下里发泄所有的愤怒、痛苦和焦虑。
那么，善待自己吧。
洗个澡，散步。
看一部喜剧。
你最终会痊愈的。
These people spread emotional cancer.
The only way to heal is to cut out the tumor.
And like healing from cutting out a tumor cutting out emotional cancer is the same.
Instead of losing hair you will lose people.
And then healing takes time from this operation.
Let out all of the anger, pain and anxiety in private.
Then, treat yourself kindly.
Take a bath, walk.
Watch a comedy.
You will heal eventually.
你从你的生活中把这些人和你认识的其他人给断绝开。
这些人传播情感癌症。
治愈的唯一方法是切除肿瘤。
就像切除肿瘤让身体愈合一样，切除情感癌症也是一样的。
不然你会失去人而不是掉头发。
治疗需要时间。
私下里发泄所有的愤怒、痛苦和焦虑。
那么，善待自己吧。
洗个澡，散步。
看一部喜剧。
你最终会痊愈的。
Gabrielle 77, Narcissist Warrior
You do Not * Cope* with verbal abuse. What you do is *Deal* with this nightmare!! Call an abuse shelter and start getting therapy. You don't cope. Coping is enabling this behavior.
I will say that verbal abuse is horrible and very damaging.
I would rather be punched in the gut. At least its over with. When someone starts attacking someone's character repeatedly., it sticks in the brain. These people that verbally abuse are the Most Insecure, self loathing individuals. They are bullies that we should not have to deal with.
Abusive behaviour!
你不能应付言语施暴。你要做的就是处理这个噩梦！打电话给虐待收容所，开始接受心理治疗。你应付不了。应对就是促成这种行为。
我要说的是，言语虐待是可怕的，也是非常有害的。
我宁愿被人一拳打在肚子上，至少打过就结束了。但是当有人开始反复攻击某人的性格时。它粘在大脑里。这些言语施暴的人是最让人丧生信心、最让人自我厌恶的人。他们是不应该由我们去对付的恶霸。
凌辱行为！
You do Not * Cope* with verbal abuse. What you do is *Deal* with this nightmare!! Call an abuse shelter and start getting therapy. You don't cope. Coping is enabling this behavior.
I will say that verbal abuse is horrible and very damaging.
I would rather be punched in the gut. At least its over with. When someone starts attacking someone's character repeatedly., it sticks in the brain. These people that verbally abuse are the Most Insecure, self loathing individuals. They are bullies that we should not have to deal with.
Abusive behaviour!
你不能应付言语施暴。你要做的就是处理这个噩梦！打电话给虐待收容所，开始接受心理治疗。你应付不了。应对就是促成这种行为。
我要说的是，言语虐待是可怕的，也是非常有害的。
我宁愿被人一拳打在肚子上，至少打过就结束了。但是当有人开始反复攻击某人的性格时。它粘在大脑里。这些言语施暴的人是最让人丧生信心、最让人自我厌恶的人。他们是不应该由我们去对付的恶霸。
凌辱行为！
Bullies like all attention to be on your supposed faults they are pointing out. I have found that they get bolder with an audience. And they don't like to be interrupted.
I deal with them using the ‘enough rope to hang themselves’ method. Me playing deaf and dumb and biding my time till the right moment is an essential part of the method.
I don't react immediately when I hear their criticisms (they may be valid!) I wait until they really get into a heated flow of nasty opinions being presented as facts. By then, they will think me weak and too timid to defend myself.
Then I interrupt the flow by saying I don't comprehend something they are accusing me of. I ask them to repeat it, to rephrase it, to explain what it means so I can understand what they are saying. I repeat, if necessary.
Someone who is not being malevolent will settle down and try to accommodate my comprehension so that their problem can be worked through, no matter how worked up they have become. Once that person starts considering my perspective as well as their own (even if that view of me is that I am deaf, dumb or stupid) I begin to pander to the anger they had displayed. I express exaggerated concern for how bad I must have made them feel. Most normal angry people start backpedalling immediately. I think they become embarrassed by their quick anger. Then we usually have a conversation and work things out in a way that satisfies us both.
欺负者喜欢把所有的注意力都放在他们指出的你所谓的错误上。我发现他们在观众面前变得更加大胆。他们不喜欢被中断。
我用“任由他们自作自受”的方法来对付他们。我装聋作哑，等待时机，这是这个方法的一个重要组成部分。
当我听到他们的批评时，我不会立即做出反应（他们可能是正确的！）我一直等到他们真的陷入了一场激烈的、令人讨厌的意见中，并被当作事实呈现出来。到那时，他们会认为我软弱、胆小，不敢自卫。
然后我打断了他们的谈话，说我不理解他们指责。我请他们重复一遍，重新措辞，解释一下它的意思，这样我才能理解他们在说什么。如果有必要，我重复一遍。
没有恶意的人会安定下来，试着适应我的理解，这样他们的问题就可以解决—无论他们变得多么愤怒。一旦那个人开始考虑我的观点以及他们自己的观点（即使我的观点是我聋、哑或笨），我就开始迎合他们所表现出来的愤怒。我过分担心我会让他们感到多么难过。大多数正常的愤怒的人会立即开始后退。我想他们很快就会因为愤怒而感到尴尬。然后我们通常会进行对话，以一种令双方都满意的方式解决问题。
I deal with them using the ‘enough rope to hang themselves’ method. Me playing deaf and dumb and biding my time till the right moment is an essential part of the method.
I don't react immediately when I hear their criticisms (they may be valid!) I wait until they really get into a heated flow of nasty opinions being presented as facts. By then, they will think me weak and too timid to defend myself.
Then I interrupt the flow by saying I don't comprehend something they are accusing me of. I ask them to repeat it, to rephrase it, to explain what it means so I can understand what they are saying. I repeat, if necessary.
Someone who is not being malevolent will settle down and try to accommodate my comprehension so that their problem can be worked through, no matter how worked up they have become. Once that person starts considering my perspective as well as their own (even if that view of me is that I am deaf, dumb or stupid) I begin to pander to the anger they had displayed. I express exaggerated concern for how bad I must have made them feel. Most normal angry people start backpedalling immediately. I think they become embarrassed by their quick anger. Then we usually have a conversation and work things out in a way that satisfies us both.
欺负者喜欢把所有的注意力都放在他们指出的你所谓的错误上。我发现他们在观众面前变得更加大胆。他们不喜欢被中断。
我用“任由他们自作自受”的方法来对付他们。我装聋作哑，等待时机，这是这个方法的一个重要组成部分。
当我听到他们的批评时，我不会立即做出反应（他们可能是正确的！）我一直等到他们真的陷入了一场激烈的、令人讨厌的意见中，并被当作事实呈现出来。到那时，他们会认为我软弱、胆小，不敢自卫。
然后我打断了他们的谈话，说我不理解他们指责。我请他们重复一遍，重新措辞，解释一下它的意思，这样我才能理解他们在说什么。如果有必要，我重复一遍。
没有恶意的人会安定下来，试着适应我的理解，这样他们的问题就可以解决—无论他们变得多么愤怒。一旦那个人开始考虑我的观点以及他们自己的观点（即使我的观点是我聋、哑或笨），我就开始迎合他们所表现出来的愤怒。我过分担心我会让他们感到多么难过。大多数正常的愤怒的人会立即开始后退。我想他们很快就会因为愤怒而感到尴尬。然后我们通常会进行对话，以一种令双方都满意的方式解决问题。
Someone who is bullying will usually get louder, more agitated, more insulting and, more importantly, more exposing of their malicious intent. In this way, I have made bullies unmask their intentions so that ‘stupid’ me can hear/understand what they are saying. They have loudly spelled their words out after I have asked them to repeat what they said. If they have been particularly nasty I have repeated the words of their explanations back to them and asked if I had finally got it right. Bullies don't like being exposed - especially when they realise they have just exposed themselves, which is often what their simpler explanation .. Their original pursuit becomes too hot to handle. They may change the subject or even hightail it out of there.
This is especially useful in front of an audience. It becomes obvious to all present that the bully has just been outwitted by a moron. I came to think that bullies imagine themselves to be superior to the bullied - that they think they are smarter and more powerful. Only recently have I learned about the Dunning-Kruger effect. I see a connection.
It has taken me a long time, a lot of experience with bullies and considerable trial and error to devise this method. I like it because it is fair to people who are merely angry rather than bullies.
My best results with nonbullies is that, by the end of the exchange, they have apologised profusely to me for their earlier treatment of me.
My best result with bullies is that they never bullied me again.
恃强凌弱的人通常会变得更大声、更激动、更具侮辱性，更重要的是，他们会更多地暴露自己的恶意。通过这种方式，我让恶霸们揭穿了他们的意图，这样“愚蠢”的我就能听到/理解他们在说什么。在我让他们重复他们所说的话之后，他们大声地把自己的话说出来了。如果他们特别恶劣，我会把他们解释的话重复给他们听，问他们我是否理解正确了。欺负者不喜欢被暴露，尤其是当他们意识到自己刚刚暴露了自己，他们通常做出简单的解释。他们最初的追求变得过于激烈，难以凑效。他们可能会改变话题，甚至迅速离开。
这在观众面前尤其有用。很明显，在场的所有人都知道，这个恶霸刚刚被一个白痴智取了。我开始认为，欺负者认为自己比被欺负者优越——他们认为自己更聪明、更强大。直到最近，我才了解到邓宁-克鲁格效应。我看到了一种联系。
我花了很长时间，有很多对付恶霸的经验，也经历了大量的尝试和错误，才想出了这种方法。我喜欢它，因为它对那些只是表达愤怒而不是欺凌的人是公平的。
我对非霸凌者最好的结果是，在交易结束时，他们已经为他们早些时候对我的方式向我道歉了。
我对付恶霸的最好结果是他们再也没有欺负过我。
This is especially useful in front of an audience. It becomes obvious to all present that the bully has just been outwitted by a moron. I came to think that bullies imagine themselves to be superior to the bullied - that they think they are smarter and more powerful. Only recently have I learned about the Dunning-Kruger effect. I see a connection.
It has taken me a long time, a lot of experience with bullies and considerable trial and error to devise this method. I like it because it is fair to people who are merely angry rather than bullies.
My best results with nonbullies is that, by the end of the exchange, they have apologised profusely to me for their earlier treatment of me.
My best result with bullies is that they never bullied me again.
恃强凌弱的人通常会变得更大声、更激动、更具侮辱性，更重要的是，他们会更多地暴露自己的恶意。通过这种方式，我让恶霸们揭穿了他们的意图，这样“愚蠢”的我就能听到/理解他们在说什么。在我让他们重复他们所说的话之后，他们大声地把自己的话说出来了。如果他们特别恶劣，我会把他们解释的话重复给他们听，问他们我是否理解正确了。欺负者不喜欢被暴露，尤其是当他们意识到自己刚刚暴露了自己，他们通常做出简单的解释。他们最初的追求变得过于激烈，难以凑效。他们可能会改变话题，甚至迅速离开。
这在观众面前尤其有用。很明显，在场的所有人都知道，这个恶霸刚刚被一个白痴智取了。我开始认为，欺负者认为自己比被欺负者优越——他们认为自己更聪明、更强大。直到最近，我才了解到邓宁-克鲁格效应。我看到了一种联系。
我花了很长时间，有很多对付恶霸的经验，也经历了大量的尝试和错误，才想出了这种方法。我喜欢它，因为它对那些只是表达愤怒而不是欺凌的人是公平的。
我对非霸凌者最好的结果是，在交易结束时，他们已经为他们早些时候对我的方式向我道歉了。
我对付恶霸的最好结果是他们再也没有欺负过我。
Jo Ashfaq, I Helped raise 7 children.
Jo Ashfaq,我帮助并抚养了7个孩子
Jo Ashfaq,我帮助并抚养了7个孩子
Stay separate on your thoughts. ……….There is a person out of control in your presence. They are sadly unable to cope with the ups and downs of life. They are flailing their arms and hands and every muscle in their body is tense. Their blood pressure must be really high yet they cannot control their own thoughts. They are having a really bad day. It will ruin how they are feeling for hours. They know they have no control over other people yet there they stand, thinking foolishly that somehow they can change things that others do. How silly to think that, they struggle to control themselves, never mind anyone else. They are certainly harming themselves more than me. This is their choice to act like this, they are doing this for themselves, I’m ok standing here they are the ones changing who they are while thinking they can change me. I alone have the power to change me. They aren’t doing anything to me. These actions are for them. So they feel better. It’s more likely they are doing damage to their own well being instead. I feel bad for them, I hope they will be able to calm themselves down and have a better day. Maybe I can help them by saying something calmly. Perhaps something like…. “ I’m trying to figure out life and not make mistakes. I want things to get better with you . I try to do things right. What can I do to make things better?
分开你的想法。有一个人在你面前失控了。可悲的是，他们无法应付生活的起伏。他们挥舞着手臂和手，身体的每一块肌肉都处于紧张状态。他们的血压一定很高，但他们无法控制自己的想法。他们今天过得很糟糕。这让他们几个小时之内的心情都不好。他们知道自己无法控制其他人，但他们站在那里，愚蠢地认为自己不管怎样都可以通过某种方式改变其他人所做的事情。多么愚蠢的想法，他们挣扎着控制自己，不管别人。他们对自己的伤害肯定比我更大。这是他们的选择，他们这样做是为了自己，我没事人样站在这里，他们正在改变自己，同时认为他们可以改变我。只有我有能力改变我。他们没有对我做任何事。这些行动是为了他们，（一旦做成）所以他们的感觉更好。相反，他们更有可能是在损害自己的福祉。我为他们感到难过，我希望他们能够冷静下来，度过更好的一天。也许我可以平静地说点什么来帮助他们。也许有点像…。“我在努力理清生活的头绪，避免犯错。我希望和你的关系能好起来。我试着把事情做，我能做些什么让事情变得更好？
分开你的想法。有一个人在你面前失控了。可悲的是，他们无法应付生活的起伏。他们挥舞着手臂和手，身体的每一块肌肉都处于紧张状态。他们的血压一定很高，但他们无法控制自己的想法。他们今天过得很糟糕。这让他们几个小时之内的心情都不好。他们知道自己无法控制其他人，但他们站在那里，愚蠢地认为自己不管怎样都可以通过某种方式改变其他人所做的事情。多么愚蠢的想法，他们挣扎着控制自己，不管别人。他们对自己的伤害肯定比我更大。这是他们的选择，他们这样做是为了自己，我没事人样站在这里，他们正在改变自己，同时认为他们可以改变我。只有我有能力改变我。他们没有对我做任何事。这些行动是为了他们，（一旦做成）所以他们的感觉更好。相反，他们更有可能是在损害自己的福祉。我为他们感到难过，我希望他们能够冷静下来，度过更好的一天。也许我可以平静地说点什么来帮助他们。也许有点像…。“我在努力理清生活的头绪，避免犯错。我希望和你的关系能好起来。我试着把事情做，我能做些什么让事情变得更好？
Machette, Graveyard Shift Clerk at 7-Eleven (2020-present)
go away. Sorry I wasn’t telling you to go away I meant the first step is to leave the abusive situation, then time. Time will heal the wounds. The best thing is to get on with your life and recognize that like an old saying goes “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you”. They are just words from a person who is inadequate and probably hurting themselves from past trauma and abuse they suffered at the hands of another in their past.
走开。对不起，我不是告诉你走开，我的意思是第一步是先摆脱开受虐的环境，然后就交给时间，时间会治愈伤口。最好的做法是继续你的生活，并认识到正如一句老话所说：“棍子和石头可能会折断你的骨头，但言语永远不会伤害你”。这些话只是来自一个能力不足的人，可能因为过去在他人手中遭受的创伤和虐待而伤害了自己。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
go away. Sorry I wasn’t telling you to go away I meant the first step is to leave the abusive situation, then time. Time will heal the wounds. The best thing is to get on with your life and recognize that like an old saying goes “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you”. They are just words from a person who is inadequate and probably hurting themselves from past trauma and abuse they suffered at the hands of another in their past.
走开。对不起，我不是告诉你走开，我的意思是第一步是先摆脱开受虐的环境，然后就交给时间，时间会治愈伤口。最好的做法是继续你的生活，并认识到正如一句老话所说：“棍子和石头可能会折断你的骨头，但言语永远不会伤害你”。这些话只是来自一个能力不足的人，可能因为过去在他人手中遭受的创伤和虐待而伤害了自己。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Dorothy Sciortino, Small Business Owner (2002-present)
Dorothy Sciortino，小企业主(2002年至今)
Dorothy Sciortino，小企业主(2002年至今)
I am one of these and have been called real ugly names but today, none affect me.
We must agree that we should always use our tongue to build others, never to harm. If we are unable to control our tongue, then we cannot be decent human beings.
Normally narcissists project. So if they feel that they themselves are fake, they will call you fake.
So as you can see a bad person calling you loads of names is most probably how they feel inwardly and has nothing to do with you.
Taking this into consideration, I always spend time self reflecting after I am called names. Is this person correct? Am I so blind as not to see that I am wrong?
If that person is not correct, I just grow a thick skin and refuse to accept what I am called. Big deal! With practice, you will start to do this automatically.
If this person is correct, then I must use that as a wake up call and amend my behavior.
You will see that with the passage of time, you are so able to control that no matter how much that person seeks to hurt you, you simply could not care less.
And hey, if you can cut these persons out of your life, please do! Toxicity makes you sick. Very sick with cancer
我就是其中之一，曾经被人骂过难听的名字，但今天，没有人影响我。
我们必须同意，我们应该总是用我们的舌头去建议他人，而不是伤害他人。如果我们不能控制自己的舌头，那么我们就不能成为正派的人。
通常是自恋者的项目。所以，如果他们觉得自己是冒充着的，他们会说你也是假的。
因此，正如你所看到的，糟糕的人叫你很多名字，很可能是他们内心的感受，与你无关。
考虑到这一点，我总是在别人叫我名字后花时间自我反省。此人是否正确？我是不是盲目看不出自己的错？
如果那个人是不对的，我只会脸皮变厚，拒绝接受别人对我的称呼。没什么大不了的，通过练习，你将自动开始这样做。
如果这个人是对的，那么我必须以此为警钟，改变我的行为。
你会发现，随着时间的推移，你是如此的能够控制，以至于无论那个人多么想伤害你，你根本不在乎。
嘿，如果你能把这些人从你的生活中赶出去，请一定要这样做!毒性会让你生病，身患癌症。
We must agree that we should always use our tongue to build others, never to harm. If we are unable to control our tongue, then we cannot be decent human beings.
Normally narcissists project. So if they feel that they themselves are fake, they will call you fake.
So as you can see a bad person calling you loads of names is most probably how they feel inwardly and has nothing to do with you.
Taking this into consideration, I always spend time self reflecting after I am called names. Is this person correct? Am I so blind as not to see that I am wrong?
If that person is not correct, I just grow a thick skin and refuse to accept what I am called. Big deal! With practice, you will start to do this automatically.
If this person is correct, then I must use that as a wake up call and amend my behavior.
You will see that with the passage of time, you are so able to control that no matter how much that person seeks to hurt you, you simply could not care less.
And hey, if you can cut these persons out of your life, please do! Toxicity makes you sick. Very sick with cancer
我就是其中之一，曾经被人骂过难听的名字，但今天，没有人影响我。
我们必须同意，我们应该总是用我们的舌头去建议他人，而不是伤害他人。如果我们不能控制自己的舌头，那么我们就不能成为正派的人。
通常是自恋者的项目。所以，如果他们觉得自己是冒充着的，他们会说你也是假的。
因此，正如你所看到的，糟糕的人叫你很多名字，很可能是他们内心的感受，与你无关。
考虑到这一点，我总是在别人叫我名字后花时间自我反省。此人是否正确？我是不是盲目看不出自己的错？
如果那个人是不对的，我只会脸皮变厚，拒绝接受别人对我的称呼。没什么大不了的，通过练习，你将自动开始这样做。
如果这个人是对的，那么我必须以此为警钟，改变我的行为。
你会发现，随着时间的推移，你是如此的能够控制，以至于无论那个人多么想伤害你，你根本不在乎。
嘿，如果你能把这些人从你的生活中赶出去，请一定要这样做!毒性会让你生病，身患癌症。
Patty Amato, former Aide, Teacher for Disabled (1976-1982)
帕蒂·阿马托，前助理、残疾教师(1976-1982年)
帕蒂·阿马托，前助理、残疾教师(1976-1982年)
Not well. I just hardened myself. But as soon as hubby saw that a particular area of name-calling and mocking wasn’t having the desired effect, he’d find something new. The first couple of times of that hurt, but then I’d harden myself again. Made for a great relationship. Marriage counselor said this wasn’t really verbal abuse because he wasn’t using obscene language
不太好，我只是硬撑。但是，当丈夫看到某个特定领域的辱骂和嘲笑没有达到预期效果时，他就会发现一些新的东西。刚开始的几次都很痛，但之后我会再次坚强起来。建立了良好的关系。婚姻顾问说，这并不是真正的言语虐待，因为他并没有使用淫秽的语言。
不太好，我只是硬撑。但是，当丈夫看到某个特定领域的辱骂和嘲笑没有达到预期效果时，他就会发现一些新的东西。刚开始的几次都很痛，但之后我会再次坚强起来。建立了良好的关系。婚姻顾问说，这并不是真正的言语虐待，因为他并没有使用淫秽的语言。
Mae Tierny, former Disabled UNIX Admine, CS Engineer, Tools Programme (1998-2002)
One in the most important things you can do is to educate yourself on the nature of verbal abuse from one of many books out on why they do what the do. Some even gave examples of get out free ways to jerk them around. They are afraid you see.
Now its worse if you grow up a child in verbal abuse. It is much harder to get beyond. But though I have made great progress I still have PTSD from my childhood. Much better, but not all healed. Counseling helps a great deal. As well as cognitive therapy.
Once you no longer feel terrified and helpless, half the healing is done.
你能做的最重要的一件事就是从许多关于他们为什么要这样做的书中了解语言虐待的本质。有些人甚至给出了一些免费的方法。他们害怕你看到。
现在，如果你在言语虐待中长大，情况会更糟。超越它要困难得多。虽然我取得了很大的进步，但我从童年起就患有创伤后应激障碍。好多了，但还没有痊愈。咨询对我帮助很大，认知疗法对我的帮助同样很大。
一旦你不再感到恐惧和无助，治疗工作就完成了一半。
One in the most important things you can do is to educate yourself on the nature of verbal abuse from one of many books out on why they do what the do. Some even gave examples of get out free ways to jerk them around. They are afraid you see.
Now its worse if you grow up a child in verbal abuse. It is much harder to get beyond. But though I have made great progress I still have PTSD from my childhood. Much better, but not all healed. Counseling helps a great deal. As well as cognitive therapy.
Once you no longer feel terrified and helpless, half the healing is done.
你能做的最重要的一件事就是从许多关于他们为什么要这样做的书中了解语言虐待的本质。有些人甚至给出了一些免费的方法。他们害怕你看到。
现在，如果你在言语虐待中长大，情况会更糟。超越它要困难得多。虽然我取得了很大的进步，但我从童年起就患有创伤后应激障碍。好多了，但还没有痊愈。咨询对我帮助很大，认知疗法对我的帮助同样很大。
一旦你不再感到恐惧和无助，治疗工作就完成了一半。
Larry Nutter, M.A. Psychology, University of Northern Colorado (1983)
I have a different perspective on verbal abuse. For 23 years I made a living listening to verbal abuse. I worked in prisons during that period of time. You would be constantly barraged with verbal abuse; it was just part of the job. On one hand it would seem to have nothing to do with abuse by someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. On the other hand, it can be very much the best way of responding to verbal abuse. Staff did not engage with idiots spouting verbal abuse; it was like background music. You did not respond in any manner and this had a neutering effect on the verbal abuser. In the case of prisons though, if the idiots were making too much noise, you just ordered them to go to another location (like back to their cell or pod). In the case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, ignoring them much the same way correctional staff do would also tend to neuter them. Of course the best way of dealing with verbal abuse from someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is to permanently remove yourself from them, block them and get a restraining order if necessary. I know this may be easier said than done. Remember, this will only get worse over time. Leaving sooner than later is just that much less abuse to tolerate.
我对言语施暴有不同的看法。23年来，我靠听辱骂谋生。那段时间我在监狱工作。你会经常受到言语施暴；这只是工作的一部分。一方面，这似乎与自恋型人格障碍患者的虐待无关。另一方面，这可能是应对言语虐待的最佳方式。工作人员没有与那些胡言乱语的白痴接触；就像背景音乐一样。你没有做出任何回应，这对语言虐待者产生了中性化的效果。但在监狱里，如果这些白痴太吵了，你只会命令他们去另一个地方（比如回牢房或吊舱）。在自恋型人格障碍的情况下，像惩教人员那样忽视他们也会倾向于中性化他们。当然，处理自恋型人格障碍患者的言语虐待的最佳方式是永久地远离他们，阻止他们，必要时获得限制令。我知道这可能说起来容易做起来难。记住，这只会随着时间的推移变得更糟。早离开比晚离开受到的影响要少得多。
I have a different perspective on verbal abuse. For 23 years I made a living listening to verbal abuse. I worked in prisons during that period of time. You would be constantly barraged with verbal abuse; it was just part of the job. On one hand it would seem to have nothing to do with abuse by someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. On the other hand, it can be very much the best way of responding to verbal abuse. Staff did not engage with idiots spouting verbal abuse; it was like background music. You did not respond in any manner and this had a neutering effect on the verbal abuser. In the case of prisons though, if the idiots were making too much noise, you just ordered them to go to another location (like back to their cell or pod). In the case of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, ignoring them much the same way correctional staff do would also tend to neuter them. Of course the best way of dealing with verbal abuse from someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is to permanently remove yourself from them, block them and get a restraining order if necessary. I know this may be easier said than done. Remember, this will only get worse over time. Leaving sooner than later is just that much less abuse to tolerate.
我对言语施暴有不同的看法。23年来，我靠听辱骂谋生。那段时间我在监狱工作。你会经常受到言语施暴；这只是工作的一部分。一方面，这似乎与自恋型人格障碍患者的虐待无关。另一方面，这可能是应对言语虐待的最佳方式。工作人员没有与那些胡言乱语的白痴接触；就像背景音乐一样。你没有做出任何回应，这对语言虐待者产生了中性化的效果。但在监狱里，如果这些白痴太吵了，你只会命令他们去另一个地方（比如回牢房或吊舱）。在自恋型人格障碍的情况下，像惩教人员那样忽视他们也会倾向于中性化他们。当然，处理自恋型人格障碍患者的言语虐待的最佳方式是永久地远离他们，阻止他们，必要时获得限制令。我知道这可能说起来容易做起来难。记住，这只会随着时间的推移变得更糟。早离开比晚离开受到的影响要少得多。
Marion Simpson, Writer at LittleFishPublishing (2001-present)
Being verbally abused can be hurtful, but that is only if you allow it to. Think about the person doing the verbal abuse, do you really care about what they think of you? Are you going to allow them to define who you are as a person? Consider the source. Is this person worthy to be the judge of you? I am guessing that they are people who have terrible self esteem, no healthy communication skills and are severely lacking in self awareness.
Now you have thought about who they are, think about who you are. Are you a person who deserves to be verbally abused? No one does deserve to be mistreated. Your question is how do you recover and heal from verbal abuse. I would suggest that you write down all you believe about yourself to be true. Every time someone has complimented you on a positive character trait, such as thanking you for a kindness you did, write that down. You are a good person, the person who has verbally abused you, is a damaged person. You cannot help to heal that person, but you can take steps to work on your own healing.
Find a therapist, a caring friend or family member to talk to about your situation. You need to take positive steps to work on healing and growing through this past abusive situation, because if you do not, take action, this situation will repeat itself. Learning your own value and carrying that with you wherever you go, will stop abusive people from being attracted to you. People who have high self worth are a magnet for other people with high self worth. Those are the people you want to spend time with. Work on learning to love yourself. Until you love yourself, you will keep chasing/attracting other people who are incapable of loving you because they also do not love themselves.
Healthy self esteem, is very important in having healthy relationships with others and with yourself. Work on learning to love you, you are worthy of love. Stay safe. Be well.
被言语施暴可能是有害的，但前提是你允许它这么做。想想那些辱骂你的人，你真的在乎他们对你的看法吗？你会允许他们定义你是谁吗？考虑其来源。这个人值得评判你吗？我猜他们是自尊心很差，没有健康的沟通技巧，严重缺乏自我意识的人。
现在你已经思考了他们是谁，再想想你是谁。你是一个应该受到口头施暴的人吗？没有人值得被虐待。你的问题是如何从言语虐待中恢复和治愈。我建议你写下所有你相信自己是真实的。每次有人称赞你积极的性格特点，比如感谢你的好意，都要写下来。你是一个好人，辱骂你的人，是一个受到伤害的人。你不能帮助治愈那个人，但你可以采取措施来治愈自己。
找一位治疗师、一位关心你的朋友或家人谈谈你的情况。你需要采取积极的步骤来治愈和在过去的虐待中成长，因为如果你不采取行动，这种状况就会重演。无论你走到哪里， 认识到自己的价值，无论走到哪里都要带着它，这将阻止吸引虐待他人的人前来对你施暴。自我价值感高的人会吸引其他自我价值感高的人。这些是你想与之共度时光的人。努力学习爱自己。除非你爱自己，否则你会一直追逐/吸引那些因为不爱自己而无法爱你的人。
健康的自尊对于与他人和自己建立健康的关系非常重要。努力学习爱你，你是值得爱的。保持安全。祝你身体健康。
Being verbally abused can be hurtful, but that is only if you allow it to. Think about the person doing the verbal abuse, do you really care about what they think of you? Are you going to allow them to define who you are as a person? Consider the source. Is this person worthy to be the judge of you? I am guessing that they are people who have terrible self esteem, no healthy communication skills and are severely lacking in self awareness.
Now you have thought about who they are, think about who you are. Are you a person who deserves to be verbally abused? No one does deserve to be mistreated. Your question is how do you recover and heal from verbal abuse. I would suggest that you write down all you believe about yourself to be true. Every time someone has complimented you on a positive character trait, such as thanking you for a kindness you did, write that down. You are a good person, the person who has verbally abused you, is a damaged person. You cannot help to heal that person, but you can take steps to work on your own healing.
Find a therapist, a caring friend or family member to talk to about your situation. You need to take positive steps to work on healing and growing through this past abusive situation, because if you do not, take action, this situation will repeat itself. Learning your own value and carrying that with you wherever you go, will stop abusive people from being attracted to you. People who have high self worth are a magnet for other people with high self worth. Those are the people you want to spend time with. Work on learning to love yourself. Until you love yourself, you will keep chasing/attracting other people who are incapable of loving you because they also do not love themselves.
Healthy self esteem, is very important in having healthy relationships with others and with yourself. Work on learning to love you, you are worthy of love. Stay safe. Be well.
被言语施暴可能是有害的，但前提是你允许它这么做。想想那些辱骂你的人，你真的在乎他们对你的看法吗？你会允许他们定义你是谁吗？考虑其来源。这个人值得评判你吗？我猜他们是自尊心很差，没有健康的沟通技巧，严重缺乏自我意识的人。
现在你已经思考了他们是谁，再想想你是谁。你是一个应该受到口头施暴的人吗？没有人值得被虐待。你的问题是如何从言语虐待中恢复和治愈。我建议你写下所有你相信自己是真实的。每次有人称赞你积极的性格特点，比如感谢你的好意，都要写下来。你是一个好人，辱骂你的人，是一个受到伤害的人。你不能帮助治愈那个人，但你可以采取措施来治愈自己。
找一位治疗师、一位关心你的朋友或家人谈谈你的情况。你需要采取积极的步骤来治愈和在过去的虐待中成长，因为如果你不采取行动，这种状况就会重演。无论你走到哪里， 认识到自己的价值，无论走到哪里都要带着它，这将阻止吸引虐待他人的人前来对你施暴。自我价值感高的人会吸引其他自我价值感高的人。这些是你想与之共度时光的人。努力学习爱自己。除非你爱自己，否则你会一直追逐/吸引那些因为不爱自己而无法爱你的人。
健康的自尊对于与他人和自己建立健康的关系非常重要。努力学习爱你，你是值得爱的。保持安全。祝你身体健康。
Joyce Holmes, studied at University of Colorado at Colorado Springs
If the person verbally abusing you lives with you then it would be pretty difficult to get over it because they are going to do it again. If they don’t live with you then shut them off from you. When you see then walk away. If they say something to you act like you didn’t hear it. In every way shut them out and never speak to them again. They are only going to do it again if they know they can get to you so don’t let them see it get to you even if it does. Then when things die down you can think to yourself that you won. And you did.
如果对你言语胁迫的人与你生活在一起，那么很难克服，因为他们还会再次这样做。如果他们不和你住在一起，那就把他们从你身边赶走。当你看到，然后走开。如果他们对你说了什么，表现得好像你没听到似的。无论如何，把他们拒之门外，永远不要再和他们说话。只有当他们知道他们能找到你的时候，他们才会再做一次，所以，即使你真的被影响了，也不要让他们看到。然后当事情平息下来时，你可以对自己说你赢了，你摆脱了。
If the person verbally abusing you lives with you then it would be pretty difficult to get over it because they are going to do it again. If they don’t live with you then shut them off from you. When you see then walk away. If they say something to you act like you didn’t hear it. In every way shut them out and never speak to them again. They are only going to do it again if they know they can get to you so don’t let them see it get to you even if it does. Then when things die down you can think to yourself that you won. And you did.
如果对你言语胁迫的人与你生活在一起，那么很难克服，因为他们还会再次这样做。如果他们不和你住在一起，那就把他们从你身边赶走。当你看到，然后走开。如果他们对你说了什么，表现得好像你没听到似的。无论如何，把他们拒之门外，永远不要再和他们说话。只有当他们知道他们能找到你的时候，他们才会再做一次，所以，即使你真的被影响了，也不要让他们看到。然后当事情平息下来时，你可以对自己说你赢了，你摆脱了。
Sparkling Nights, Currently studying at university
Best thing to do is to leave them and go on , most likely abusers won't stop doing that to you even if they apologized , they would drain your emotions, they'll damage your mental health little by little if you don't take it seriously and try to find a way to get out if this dangerous situation .
I have been abused more than once time from someone who I genuinely lived and cared about , but what they did? They verbally abused me once and I was in shock but my live for them made me ignore that red flag sign that I should've took seriously that instant time , but unfortunatelyy I didn't ,, and that led to more horrible kind if abuse , they tried to blackmailing me at the end , and that time I regret that I didn't walk away from them from the beginning .
So please , save yourself and get those people out from your life , don't let them hurt you more than this , don't settle for anything with these people , because they are liers Narcissistic people , they are too dangerous to be around.
So walk away and report any abuse happend to the police , don't let them go away with it.
They should take what they deserve!
最好的办法是离开他们，继续下去，最大可能是虐待者即使他们道歉也不会停止对你这样做，他们会耗尽你的情绪，如果你不认真对待，并在这种危险的情况下设法摆脱，他们会一点一点地损害你的心理健康。
我不止一次被与我真正生活和关心的人虐待，但他们做了什么？他们有一次辱骂我，我很震惊，但我为他们而活，让我忽视了当时我应该认真对待的那个危险信号，但不幸的是，我没有，这导致了更可怕的虐待，他们最后试图勒索我，那次我很遗憾，我没有从一开始就摆脱他们。
所以，请拯救你自己，把那些人从你的生活中摆脱出去，别让他们给你造成更大的伤害，别跟他们妥协，因为他们都是虚伪的自恋者，他们太危险了，不适合与他们在一起。
所以，走开，向警方报告发生的任何虐待行为，不要让他们逍遥法外。
他们应该得到他们应得的！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Best thing to do is to leave them and go on , most likely abusers won't stop doing that to you even if they apologized , they would drain your emotions, they'll damage your mental health little by little if you don't take it seriously and try to find a way to get out if this dangerous situation .
I have been abused more than once time from someone who I genuinely lived and cared about , but what they did? They verbally abused me once and I was in shock but my live for them made me ignore that red flag sign that I should've took seriously that instant time , but unfortunatelyy I didn't ,, and that led to more horrible kind if abuse , they tried to blackmailing me at the end , and that time I regret that I didn't walk away from them from the beginning .
So please , save yourself and get those people out from your life , don't let them hurt you more than this , don't settle for anything with these people , because they are liers Narcissistic people , they are too dangerous to be around.
So walk away and report any abuse happend to the police , don't let them go away with it.
They should take what they deserve!
最好的办法是离开他们，继续下去，最大可能是虐待者即使他们道歉也不会停止对你这样做，他们会耗尽你的情绪，如果你不认真对待，并在这种危险的情况下设法摆脱，他们会一点一点地损害你的心理健康。
我不止一次被与我真正生活和关心的人虐待，但他们做了什么？他们有一次辱骂我，我很震惊，但我为他们而活，让我忽视了当时我应该认真对待的那个危险信号，但不幸的是，我没有，这导致了更可怕的虐待，他们最后试图勒索我，那次我很遗憾，我没有从一开始就摆脱他们。
所以，请拯救你自己，把那些人从你的生活中摆脱出去，别让他们给你造成更大的伤害，别跟他们妥协，因为他们都是虚伪的自恋者，他们太危险了，不适合与他们在一起。
所以，走开，向警方报告发生的任何虐待行为，不要让他们逍遥法外。
他们应该得到他们应得的！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Shane Tennent, Computer Repair Technician
Shane Tennent，电脑维修技术员
Shane Tennent，电脑维修技术员
To not be there for the abuse. That’s the most effective way to stop it.
What if it runs up to you and gets in your face? Your life could be like an episode of Scrubs… the bully starts to verbally abuse you, and you drift off into daydream land. They finish, and you have this vacant look in your eyes. They start going off on you because you aren’t even listening to them… not even continuing with their original train of abuse.
Then you snap out of it with a “Wha? I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening. Can we do this another time?” and you walk away… hopefully in the middle of them saying something.
That’s another little thing. The abuser gets in your face. You spend a few seconds showing intense interest in what they are saying, and then walk away while they are in the middle of a sentence. Don’t say anything. Just turn and walk away as if they weren’t even there.
They verbally abuse you, because it generates a response they can work with. Don’t give them the response they want.
Someone starts verbally abusing you? Jump up on a chair and start singing “Hooray for Hollywood!” at the same time they are going off on you. Or… immediately turn to another friend and ask about the last sports game you watched. Or start repeating what the abuser is saying to you… copying them like you were both 6 years old.
Don’t give them the response they are trying to dig out of you.
不在那里受虐。这是阻止它的最有效方法。
如果它跑到你面前，撞到你的脸怎么办?你的生活可能就像《实习医生风云》里的一集，恶霸开始辱骂你，你就慢慢进入了白日梦的世界。他们结束后你的眼睛里有一种茫然的神情。因为你根本不听他们的话甚至没有让他们继续进入最初言语施暴状态，他们开始对你发火。
然后你突然说：“什么？对不起，我没在听。我们可以改天再做吗？”然后你走开了，希望在他们说话的时候这样做。
这是另一件小事。施暴者会直接出现在你面前。你花几秒钟的时间对他们说的话表现出强烈的兴趣，然后在他们说到一半的时候走开。不要说任何东西。转身走开，就当他们不存在。
他们会口头上辱骂你，因为这会让你产生一种他们可以接受的回应。不要给他们想要的回应
有人开始辱骂你？跳到椅子上，开始唱“好莱坞万岁！”同时他们也在对你发火。或者立即转向另一位朋友，询问你最近观看的体育比赛。或者开始重复施虐者对你说的话，像你们都只有6岁一样模仿他们。
不要给他们他们想要从你身上挖出的答案。
What if it runs up to you and gets in your face? Your life could be like an episode of Scrubs… the bully starts to verbally abuse you, and you drift off into daydream land. They finish, and you have this vacant look in your eyes. They start going off on you because you aren’t even listening to them… not even continuing with their original train of abuse.
Then you snap out of it with a “Wha? I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening. Can we do this another time?” and you walk away… hopefully in the middle of them saying something.
That’s another little thing. The abuser gets in your face. You spend a few seconds showing intense interest in what they are saying, and then walk away while they are in the middle of a sentence. Don’t say anything. Just turn and walk away as if they weren’t even there.
They verbally abuse you, because it generates a response they can work with. Don’t give them the response they want.
Someone starts verbally abusing you? Jump up on a chair and start singing “Hooray for Hollywood!” at the same time they are going off on you. Or… immediately turn to another friend and ask about the last sports game you watched. Or start repeating what the abuser is saying to you… copying them like you were both 6 years old.
Don’t give them the response they are trying to dig out of you.
不在那里受虐。这是阻止它的最有效方法。
如果它跑到你面前，撞到你的脸怎么办?你的生活可能就像《实习医生风云》里的一集，恶霸开始辱骂你，你就慢慢进入了白日梦的世界。他们结束后你的眼睛里有一种茫然的神情。因为你根本不听他们的话甚至没有让他们继续进入最初言语施暴状态，他们开始对你发火。
然后你突然说：“什么？对不起，我没在听。我们可以改天再做吗？”然后你走开了，希望在他们说话的时候这样做。
这是另一件小事。施暴者会直接出现在你面前。你花几秒钟的时间对他们说的话表现出强烈的兴趣，然后在他们说到一半的时候走开。不要说任何东西。转身走开，就当他们不存在。
他们会口头上辱骂你，因为这会让你产生一种他们可以接受的回应。不要给他们想要的回应
有人开始辱骂你？跳到椅子上，开始唱“好莱坞万岁！”同时他们也在对你发火。或者立即转向另一位朋友，询问你最近观看的体育比赛。或者开始重复施虐者对你说的话，像你们都只有6岁一样模仿他们。
不要给他们他们想要从你身上挖出的答案。
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