QA问答:我的一位同事是一位非洲裔美国人,他告诉我,要想用自己的肤色获得成功,第一步就是“摒弃贫民窟心态”。他这是什么意思?
2023-02-20 xky 11887
正文翻译

One of my coworkers, an African-American, told me that the first part of being successful with his skin color is to “abandon the ghetto mentality.” What does he mean by that?

我的一位同事是一位非洲裔美国人,他告诉我,要想用自己的肤色获得成功,第一步就是“摒弃贫民窟心态”。他这是什么意思?

评论翻译
Rod Karolys
What your coworker said about the ghetto mentality is exactly what keeps poor neighborhoods poor. I'm Latino, and I lived in NYC for over 20 years before returning to South America (much more ghetto than the Bronx), so I'm gonna take a stab at answering this question. Disclaimer: I don't mean to offend anyone. I'm just relating my experience.
There's an old saying: “The ghetto is like a bucket of crabs.” If you've ever seen a bucket of crabs at the local fish market, you'll notice that it doesn't have a lid on it. Remarkably, none of the crabs are escaping even though they are excellent climbers. Whenever one crab figures out how to get out of the bucket, the other crabs pull him back down.

你的同事所说的贫民窟心态,正是让贫困社区贫穷的原因。我是拉丁裔,在回到南美洲之前,我在纽约生活了20多年(主要是在贫民窟,其他时间住在布朗克斯区),所以我想尝试一下回答这个问题。
免责声明:我无意冒犯任何人。我只是在讲述我的经历。
有句老话:“贫民窟就像一桶螃蟹。”
如果你在当地的鱼市见过一桶螃蟹,你会注意到它没有盖子。值得注意的是,尽管它们都是优秀的攀爬者,但没有一只螃蟹能逃脱。每当一只螃蟹想办法快从桶里出来时,其他螃蟹就会把它拉回去。

If you have the ghetto mentality, instead of focusing on bettering yourself and improving your own situation, you obsess over who has the flashiest car, the most expensive shoes, and the shiniest bling. The most expensive items you own are usually worn when you go out on Friday night. That’s what’s meant by the phrase “wearing your wealth”. The ghetto mentality isn't about you; it's about showing a bunch of dudes who don't give a shit about you that your (insert product here) is better than theirs.
If you do have a change of attitude and decide to get up and do some self-improvement, whether it be going back to school, starting a business, purchasing a home, etc, the people around you will get jealous and start hatin’ on you, doing whatever they can to pull you down and keep you in the ghetto, where they feel you belong. And that's why I left New York.

如果你有贫民窟心态,而不是专注于自己的成长、改善自己的处境,你就会纠结于:谁拥有最闪亮的汽车、最昂贵的鞋子、最闪亮的珠宝。你会在每周五的晚上,穿着你拥有的最昂贵的东西,走出你的家门。这就是“穿上你的财富”这句话的意思。贫民窟心态不是关于你一个人的:讲的是一群人,对着毫不在乎的人展示自己拥有的(此处插入产品)比他们的好。
如果你真的改变了态度,决定站起来做一些自我提升,无论是回到学校、创业、买房等等,你周围的人都会嫉妒你,开始恨你,尽一切可能把你拉下来,让你留在贫民窟,他们觉得你属于那里。这就是我离开纽约的原因。

Farmall Emta
Your friend is wrong in one respect, what you’re going to hear over and over again here from people who really get what he’s otherwise saying.
That ghetto mentality occurs in all races, in all social strata. It’s a complacency, a failure to plan and anticipate, the lacking of the internal fortitude to imagine, uate, persevere and work your fncking ass off to accomplish goals. Instead of actually pursuing accomplishments, they settle for show, the appearance of success. And it’s just laughable to see. They’re nothing but huge jokes and they know it… that’s why they get so angry and bitter no matter how much bling they flash. They hate themselves for failing at what matters.

你的朋友在某个方面是错的,你会从那些真正理解他所说的人那里一遍又一遍地听到。
这种贫民窟心态在所有种族、所有社会阶层都有。
这是一种自鸣得意,他们对未来不做计划和预测,缺乏内在的坚韧去想象、评估、坚持、努力实现目标。他们并没有真正追求成就,而是满足于炫耀成功的表象。这真的是太可笑了。他们什么都不是,他们只不过是个大笑话,他们知道的……这就是为什么无论他们闪多少金光,他们都是如此愤怒和痛苦的原因。他们恨自己在重要的事情上失败。

I cannot tell you how many wealthy white kids I went to school with who are complete failures. Wildly successful parents who somehow were unable to pass along that X-efficiency gene and mindset to their kids. Drugs, alcohol, sometimes low IQ, always a sense of entitlement, and yes— blaming others for their inability to succeed. It happens in all races, in all locations, in all social classes.

我无法告诉你,我和多少富有的白人孩子一起上学,他们完全失败了。他们有非常成功的父母,不知何故无法将X效率基因和思维方式传递给他们的孩子。毒品、酒精,还有些低智商,总是有一种权利感,是的——指责他人无法获得成功。它发生在所有种族、所有地点、所有社会阶层。

Patrick Ferrin
Amen, this is one of the best threads I have read over the past ten years.

阿门,这是我在过去十年中读到的最好的思路之一。

Mark Johnson
Yup, I grew up on a reservation and same thing. Breaking out of that mind set is not easy, you get called traitor and all sorts of other things by those that get trapped. It hurts, but I'm not about to live a shitty life because you failed at yours. That was my mantra when I was young “be better" I would repeat it over and over… I still do that

是的,我在一个印第安保留地长大的。那里发生着同样的事情。打破这种思维定势并不容易,你会被那些被困住的人称为叛徒,或遭遇其他各种事情。这很痛苦,但我不会因为你的失败就要去过糟糕的生活。“变得更好”是我年轻时的口头禅,我会一遍又一遍地重复这句话……我现在依然这样做。
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Eric Heidel
If one can be raised with privilege, let's say a financial advantage, but at the same time, realize that they are blessed and that it could be just the opposite very easy, then they can have the best of both worlds and if they continue the hard work and betterment, they will really reach beyond. When children stagnant and believe that they deserve something they haven't earned, then that's where the problem begins for these future riches to rags types. I gave my sons what they asked for, and they usually didn't ask for much. I emphasized achievement and goal setting and rewarded them when they did well. Well, now they are on their way. I taught them to avoid the pitfalls I experienced and that has helped them. Having a parent that wants their child to become successful and is willing to spend the time teaching that success, is like gold. Learn from others mistakes and do the opposite.

如果一个人能够在某种特权下长大,比如说:经济上的优势,如果他们同时能够意识到自己是幸运的,成功会非常容易,他们可以两全其美,他们会继续努力和提升自己 ,他们真的会达到更高的境地。但,情况可能是相反的。孩子们停滞不前,认为他们应该得到那些他们没有得到的东西,这就是富人变成穷人的原因。我给了我的儿子们他们要求的东西,他们通常要求不多。我强调成就和目标的设定,并在他们表现出色的时候给予奖励。嗯,现在他们已经在成功的路上了。我教他们如何避免我经历的陷阱,这对他们有所帮助。拥有一对希望孩子成功,并愿意花时间教导孩子成功的父母,就像拥有黄金。从别人的错误中吸取教训,然后做相反的事情。

Don Humberson
Spot on! I grew up in a lily-white rural county where that same “know your place and keep it” mentality was rampant. “Puttin’ on airs” was a crime, punishable by vandalism and worse. The day I went to college I shook the dust of my hometown from my shoes.

完全正确。我生长在一个纯朴的乡村县,在那里,那种“知足常乐”的心态非常盛行。“装腔作势”是一种犯罪行为,可能受到破坏公物的惩罚。我上大学的那天,我把家乡的尘土从鞋子上抖落了下来。
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Jules
A few years back, I was chatting over a fence to my neighbour, who was an Australian Aboriginal. I asked how his job was going. He had taken a job which included trying to encourage other Aboriginals to join the police force.
“Not well,” he said. “The attitude needs to change.”
It’s what people know and have experienced. It sets in a certain mindset.

几年前,我隔着栅栏和我的邻居聊天,他是一位澳大利亚原住民。我问他的工作进展如何。他从事的工作是鼓励其他原住民加入警察部队。
“不太好,”他说。“态度需要改变。”
这是人们所知道和经历的。它设定了某种心态。

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Ava Bowda
I think you nailed it on getting rid of the ghetto. It’s all about your approach to life, your language, mentality, etc. I agree that if people could see a better life for themselves they would find a way, or at least a percentage would and a percentage is better than none. Even being white and growing up poor, I was content until I saw alternatives. What a difference in my life then and now.

我想你想要摆脱贫民窟。这一切与你的生活方式、语言、心态等有关。我同意,如果人们能为自己看到更好的生活,他们会找到一种方法,或者有一定的比率找到一种方法,有一定的比率总比完全没有要好。作为一个白人,在贫困中长大,我一直很满足,直到我看到了其他的选择。我当时和现在的生活实在有太多不同了。

Jim H.
Grew up in the suburbs and I was probably around 12 when my mom got a new job. A much better job. But it was a long commute (most good jobs were far) that wouldn’t be sustainable for the long term. At that point we lived down the street from my grandparents but clearly, if my mom was going to be successful in this new job we needed to move closer to it.
My dad and grandfather were talking about the move, my dad feeling guilty about it, and my grandfather said, “No one can keep a man down like his own family.” He said more but the subtext was “Don’t stay here because of us.” The funny part is, we only moved 30 minutes away. We still saw them almost every Sunday. But I know so many people, not necessarily flashy or irresponsible with their money, not haters, but they’re too scared to leave what they know - even for a good opportunity. It’s like if they can’t take all the other crabs with them then they’re just staying in that bucket, going nowhere in life.

我在郊区长大,大概12岁左右,我妈妈找到了一份新工作。一份更好的工作。但通勤时间很长(大多数好工作都很远),从长远来看这是不可持续的。那时,我们住在离祖父母不远的街道上,但很明显,如果我妈妈想要在这份新工作中取得成功,我们就需要离工作地点更近一点。
我的爸爸和爷爷在谈论搬家,我的爸爸对此感到内疚,我的爷爷说:“人生最大的失望往往来自家人。” 他说了很多,但潜台词还是“不要因为我们而留在这里”。
有趣的是,我们只搬离了30分钟车程的距离。我们几乎每个星期天都会去看他们。但我认识很多人,他们不一定是华而不实的,或者对金钱不负责任的,也不一定是仇恨者,但他们太害怕离开自己熟悉的地方了——即使是为了一个好机会。这就好像,如果他们不能带走所有其他的螃蟹,那么他们就只能呆在桶里,在生活中无处可去。

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Earl Pottinger
I am Black but mostly grew up in middle class areas, at the time I was a teenager I was studying digital logic and going to Toronto (30 miles) and Hamilton (100 miles) on my own to get the chips I needed to build my own nano-computers (This was the 1970’s). I had a membership in every public library and school library in the region. My brother Paul was going to Montreal (300 miles) and Ian and Wayne regularly went to Toronto for other things - remember we were all teenagers.
Then my relatives from Buffalo came to visit, we invited the boys to come with us to the CNE in Toronto, they were very nervous. Finally we asked what was wrong, turns out these teenagers had never been more than six blocks from home before for their entire lives. SIX BLOCKS!

我是黑人,但在中产阶级地区长大,在我十几岁的时候,我正在学习数字逻辑,并独自前往多伦多(30英里)和汉密尔顿(100英里),以获得制造自己的纳米计算机所需的芯片(这是20世纪70年代)。我是该地区所有公共图书馆和学校图书馆的会员。我哥哥保罗要去蒙特利尔(300英里),伊恩和韦恩经常去多伦多做其他事情——记得我们都是青少年。
然后我有个从布法罗来的亲戚们要来拜访,我们邀请男孩们和我们一起去多伦多的CNE,他们非常紧张。最后,我们问出了什么问题,原来这些青少年一生中从未离家超过六个街区。六个街区!

My brothers and I lived in London, England - a number of places in Jamaica - Miami, Florida and Oshawa and Whitby, Ontario. We had no problem going anywhere we could afford to go to, our relatives had not even gone to downtown Buffalo.
I became a computer Tech. Paul ran a Tool and Die department for GM. Clive became a computer programmer for Credit Card company. Wayne was killed by a drunk driver.
My Buffalo relatives stayed where they were born.
That is what a Ghetto mentality does to you.

我和我的兄弟在英国伦敦住过——也住过牙买加的许多地方——佛罗里达州的迈阿密和安大略省的奥沙瓦和惠特比等等。我们去任何我们能负担得起的地方都没有问题,我们的亲戚甚至没有去过布法罗市中心。
我成为了一名计算机技术人员。保罗在通用汽车公司经营一个工具和模具部门。克莱夫成为了信用卡公司的一名计算机程序员。韦恩被一名酒驾司机杀害。
我的亲戚们留在了他们出生的地方。
这就是贫民窟心态对你的影响。

Eric Heidel
That happens alot in rural white communities. If people don't get exposed to the world beyond their town, then that's where they stay and the older they get the more so. I don't really care for “townies". While they may have relatives that live all around close, they miss opportunities. If one can get away, to college, the military, or a situation that takes them out of there, then they can flourish and then they will teach their kids to do the same and the cycle gets broken.

这在农村白人社区经常发生的事情。如果人们没有接触到他们城镇以外的世界,那么他们就住在那里,年龄越大,他们就越容易接触到这个世界。我们并不真正关心“城里人”。虽然我们可能有亲戚住在城里。如果一个人能够离开出生地,去上大学,或者去参军,反正是离开那里,他们就能茁壮成长,然后,他们会教他们的孩子也这样做,这样的循环就会被打破。

Mark Harder
Many rural folks have never been outside the small towns they grew up in. In rural eastern Oregon, a hundred miles is not a long distance. There are roads with no towns or services for over a hundred miles. I would have expected that folks who live there to be used to traveling those distances.
I wonder if the phenomenon is the result of a profound lack of curiosity about the wider world. Yet folks who exhibit the same trait live in all sorts of communities, not just the rural, sparsely populated ones.

许多农村人从未离开过他们成长的小镇。在俄勒冈州东部的农村,一百英里的距离并不遥远。有超过一百英里的道路没有城镇或服务设施。我本以为住在那里的人会习惯于长途跋涉。
我想知道这种现象是否是对更广泛的世界缺乏好奇心的结果。然而,表现出相同特征的人,生活在各种各样的社区,而不仅仅是农村人口稀少的社区。

Eric Heidel
I had an uncle who was raised on the farm along with mom and her other brothers and sisters. He never went to college, but became a successful farmer. His 3 kids all went to college, and one of them has a probe orbiting the sun (phD in astrophysics). He would never drive on the interstate, only the highways and usually only within a radius of 100 miles. My mom and all the others that went off to college, were more mobile and travelled. Their outlook was a bit different from my uncle.

我有一个叔叔,和他的妈妈以及其他兄弟姐妹一起在农场长大。他从未上过大学,但成为了一名成功的农民。他的三个孩子都上了大学,其中一个孩子有一个绕太阳运行的探测器(天体物理学博士)。他从不在州际公路上开车,只在高速公路上开车,通常只在100英里的半径范围内。我的妈妈和其他所有上大学的人都更爱流动,也更爱旅行。他们的看法与我叔叔有点不同。

Colin Edmonstone
Its not about distance travelled, but more about fear and comfort zone as it doesn’t just occur with someone living in a particular town but can occur with job and sometimes with a partner. When it occurs with a job it is usually not a well paying job and the individual tends to hate the job but tend to suffer from two particular views, 1 “I am not capable of getting any other job”, 2 “I dare not risk losing the job I have as I may never get another”. When it involves a partner it may usually be found in an abusive relationship, not always though as I have met a couple of couples who have fallen out of love, but refuse to leave each other as they wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if they did split. when it does occur within an abusive relationship even if somehow the relationship does split the abused partner has a high tendency to pick exactly the same sort of person again, and again the response for why stay comes down to the two reasons, 1 “I am not capable”, 2 “I dare not”

它不是关于旅行的距离,更多的是关于恐惧和舒适区,因为它不仅仅发生在某个城市的某个人身上,也可能发生在工作中,有时还会发生在伴侣身上。
当涉及一份工作需要发生流动时,通常是一份低薪工作,个人倾向于讨厌的工作,这时,人往往被两种思维左右:1、“我没有能力得到任何其他工作”,2、“我不敢冒失去现有工作的风险,因为我可能永远也找不到另一份工作”。
当涉及到伴侣的问题时,通常是发生在一段虐待性关系中,但并不总是这样,因为我遇到过几对失去感情的夫妻,但是他们拒绝离开对方,因为如果他们真的分开了,他们不知道该怎么办。但这种情况确实发生在一段虐待性关系中时,就算这段关系已经发生了某种程度的分裂,被虐待的伴侣也很有可能再次选择完全相同的人,而对为什么留下的回应又回到了这两个原因:1、我没能力 2、我不敢 。

Mark Harder
Good points. Insecurities of one kind or another are at work here. These can be real or perceived. The person who goes beyond those walls is courageous indeed.

说得好。这种或那种不安全感在这里起作用。这些可能是事实,也只能只是一种感觉。越过那堵墙的人是勇敢的。

Noelle Bridgman-Wile
Yes indeed.
Families and friends can also put a lot of pressure on those who want to explore outside opportunities. Terminology varies, but they’ll use expressions like “Don’t get to thinking you’re better!” and the equivalents. Same idea: if the other crabs think the one on top is getting too high, they’ll pull it back down.
It can make it really painful. These folks feel like they’re outsiders even where they’re successful, and mildly traitorous to the people who feel left behind.

是的。
家人和朋友,也会给那些想要探索外部世界机会的人带来很大的压力。术语千差万别,但通常都是:“别以为你自己很能!”等表达方式。同样的想法:如果其他螃蟹认为上面那个爬得太高了,他们就会把他拉回来。
这会让他们很痛苦,这些人即使已经足够成功,也感觉自己是局外人,感觉有点背叛了那些落后的人。

Duncan Dixon
I grew up in a small town in the interior of British Columbia in the 1960s. A few years ago, I was talking with one of my university colleagues and discovered he grew up in a similar-sized town about 100 km. from my hometown. His first question, “How did you get out?”

20世纪60年代,我在不列颠哥伦比亚省内陆的一个小镇长大。几年前,我和我的一位上过大学的同事交谈时,发现他在一个距离我家乡约100公里的小镇长大。他的第一个问题:“你是怎么出来的?”

Patrick Ferrin
I am a white child and this was precisely what White America was like in the 1950’s. I was always raising my hand in class and kids physically assaulted and harassed me non-stop all of my life. I heard the words, “You think you are better than us”. I have cousins on Facebook that despise me for succeeding and post negative comments all the time. Yes in poor neighborhoods there is a mindset against even trying to succeed. Somehow I had a strong enough will to get away from this but I still remember all the tears I shed as a child.

我是一个白人孩子,这正是1950年代美国白人的样子。我总是在课堂上举手,其他孩子们不停地对我进行身体攻击和骚扰。我听到了这样的话:“你认为你比我们更好”。我在脸书上的表亲们鄙视我的成功,并一直发表负面评论。是的,在贫穷的社区,人们甚至有一种反对尝试成功的心态。不知怎么的,我有足够坚强的意志摆脱这一切,但我仍然记得我小时候流下的所有眼泪。

Jesse Spurgeon
In the 'box of crabs’ analogy, the crab that is pulled back in is not the target of direct animosity, but is instead overwhelmed by the many who try to use them as a bridge.
I've a sister who still can't leave the adversarial attitude, and will forever be at war with whoever she thinks is ahead of her; there are friends who want to lift their whole clan with them, and all will fail; there are cousins who sniff around for a free room or a cheap car that they will either trash or abandon.
This answer is absolutely correct

在“螃蟹桶”的比喻中,被拉回来的螃蟹并不是所有螃蟹的直接仇恨目标,它是被那些试图把它作为踏脚石的许多人压倒的。
我有一个妹妹,她仍然无法摆脱敌对他人的态度,她永远与领先她的人交战。有些人想要与其他人合作一起提升整个家族,但一切都会失败。有些堂兄弟为了一个免费的房间或者一辆便宜的汽车四处寻找,而其他人要么扔掉,要么丢弃。
这个答案是绝对正确的。

Lee Peno
Explained well very, thank you. I was aware of this type of behaviour, but never heard the “ghetto mentality” term. Us Australians are prone to the “tall poppy syndrome”. The only difference is we are very happy for people to succeed, but to a certain level. I have no idea where or when that level has been exceeded as I do not entertain that bias. Everyone has the right to enjoy their successes, especially if they have worked hard for it.

解释得很好,谢谢。我知道这种行为,但从未听过“贫民窟心态”这个词。美国澳大利亚人容易患上“高罂粟综合症”。唯一的区别是在一定程度上我们很高兴人们成功。但我不知道,这个一定程度到底是什么程度,因为我不抱有这种偏见。每个人都有享受自己成功的权利,特别是在他们为此付出艰苦努力之后。

Iain Cam
Good answer - I think there is also the victim vs can do mentality. If you feel that you are a victim that can not escape the ghetto then you will blame the ghetto and the world for your failures. If instead you have a can do mentality, then you look at why you failed and what you can do to succeed next time. The former reinforced the ghetto mentality, the latter provides a way to escape that mentality and even the ghetto itself.

好答案。我认为还有一种受害者心态 VS 我可以的心态。如果你觉得自己是一个无法逃离贫民窟的受害者,你就会把你的失败归咎于贫民窟和世界。如果相反,你觉得你可以,你就会去研究你为什么失败了,下次你要怎么才能做才能获得成功。前者强化了贫民窟心态,后者提供了一种逃离贫民窟心态,甚至逃离贫民窟本身的方式。

Patrick Kelly
If I had to recommend anything to those in “ghetto”/rural town environments, it would be to join the military. It can suck, but the military is THE ticket to the middle class that is open to any walk of life. So many benefits to answer the crab in a bucket problem: You leave your hometown, meet people of every walk of life, experience REAL diversity and inclusion (not that woke “hate white people” corporate training), learn a skill, get your education paid for, and travel overseas if you play the cards that way.
I took that route instead of continuing to live in the poor rural town of drug addicts I was stuck in as a child. I owe my current life to the Air Force, and I have seen people come from much worse than me excel and thrive when taken out of the “ghetto”. With an attitude adjustment and a real fighting spirit, I think many can also escape with little help from someone that’s been there.

如果说我要向“贫民窟”、农村、小城镇中居住的人推荐什么的话,那就是参军。这可能很糟糕,但军队是通往中产阶级的门票,对任何阶层都开放。回答“桶里的螃蟹”问题有很多好处:你离开你的家乡,认识各行各业的人,体验真正的多样性,而不是唤醒“讨厌白人”的口号,你可以学习一项技能,支付教育费用,如果你这样做,你还可以去海外旅游。
我走的就是这条路,而不是在我小时候那个吸毒者的贫困农村小镇继续生活。我的成功归功于参加了空军,我见过比我差得多的人走出“贫民窟”,开始了茁壮成长。随着态度的调整,有了真正的战斗精神,我想很多人也可以在没有任何帮助的情况下逃离“贫民窟”。

Sean Lana
Just to add, also if you live in the “ghetto’’ you automatically share similar activities with other people also living in the “ghetto’’, which is why it is always almost impossible for people to get out of “ghetto” without working on their mindsets, and you cannot even work on your mindset if your environment never gives you the awareness of what mindset is all about. After all average of the people you hang out with is determined by your own activities.

我想补充一点,如果你住在“贫民窟”,你会自动与其他同样生活在“贫民窟”的人分享类似的活动,这就是为什么人们在不改变自己的心态的情况下几乎不可能走出“贫民窟”。如果你的环境从未让你意识到心态是什么,你根本无法改变你的心态。毕竟,你参与的活动决定了你交往的都是什么样的人。

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