5种东西方文化的沟通差异
正文翻译
It is common for Eastern and Western cultures to communicate differently in everyday settings.
在日常生活中，东西方文化的交流方式不同是很常见的。
It is common for Eastern and Western cultures to communicate differently in everyday settings.
在日常生活中，东西方文化的交流方式不同是很常见的。
Between these two cultures, there are different patterns in speech, languages used, articulation techniques and emotional cues expressed.
在这两种文化之间，有不同的说话模式，使用的语言，发音技巧和情感的表达方式。
在这两种文化之间，有不同的说话模式，使用的语言，发音技巧和情感的表达方式。
At times stereotypical Eastern societies and Western societies express themselves in conflicting ways. Sometimes this can make doing business or socialising together challenging.
有时，东方社会和西方社会会刻板地以相互冲突的方式表达自己的想法。有时这会让一起做生意或社交变得困难。
有时，东方社会和西方社会会刻板地以相互冲突的方式表达自己的想法。有时这会让一起做生意或社交变得困难。
When I lived in Malaysia and Singapore, I got along with many of Asian background there. When I moved back to Australia, I realised people here have different mindsets and cultural values.
当我在马来西亚和新加坡生活时，我在那里与许多亚洲背景的人相处。当我搬回澳大利亚时，我意识到这里的人有不同的心态和文化价值观。
当我在马来西亚和新加坡生活时，我在那里与许多亚洲背景的人相处。当我搬回澳大利亚时，我意识到这里的人有不同的心态和文化价值观。
There’s much to be observed and learned from Eastern vs Western communication styles. That way you can understand cultural differences and minimise miscommunication, improving cross-cultural relationships.
东方和西方的沟通方式有很多值得观察和学习的地方。这样你就可以更好地理解文化差异，尽量减少误解，更好地处理跨文化关系。
东方和西方的沟通方式有很多值得观察和学习的地方。这样你就可以更好地理解文化差异，尽量减少误解，更好地处理跨文化关系。
Here are some key differences between Eastern and Western communication styles.
以下是东西方沟通方式的一些主要差异。
以下是东西方沟通方式的一些主要差异。
1. High context vs low context
1. 高语境vs低语境
1. 高语境vs低语境
In high context cultures (a term coined by anthropologist Edward T. Hall), communication is often indirect and some things aren’t openly said. Low context cultures involves direct communication and thoughts are clearly articulated.
在高语境文化(人类学家爱德华.t.霍尔创造的一个术语)中，交流通常是间接的，有些事情不会公开说出来。而低语境文化包括直接交流和清晰地表达。
在高语境文化(人类学家爱德华.t.霍尔创造的一个术语)中，交流通常是间接的，有些事情不会公开说出来。而低语境文化包括直接交流和清晰地表达。
Eastern cultures are often high context cultures. Collectivism and ‘saving face’ is a big part of Asian cultures. Before speaking some Asians might choose their words carefully to avoid pointing out flaws, upsetting or offending others – protecting their image at the same time.
东方文化通常是高语境文化。集体主义和“留面子”是亚洲文化的重要组成部分。一些亚洲人在说话之前可能会小心措辞，以避免指出别人的缺点、惹恼或冒犯他人——同时维护自己的形象。
东方文化通常是高语境文化。集体主义和“留面子”是亚洲文化的重要组成部分。一些亚洲人在说话之前可能会小心措辞，以避免指出别人的缺点、惹恼或冒犯他人——同时维护自己的形象。
On the other hand Western cultures are low context cultures. Westerners tend to be more individualistic, say things upfront and want to succinctly get their point across.
另一方面，西方文化是低语境文化。西方人更倾向于个人主义，直言不讳，想要简洁明晰地表达自己的观点。
另一方面，西方文化是低语境文化。西方人更倾向于个人主义，直言不讳，想要简洁明晰地表达自己的观点。
This can explain why some Asians are stereotypically seen as quiet and submissive while Westerners loud and assertive.
这可以解释为什么有些亚洲人被认为是安静和服从的，而西方人则是大声和独断的。
这可以解释为什么有些亚洲人被认为是安静和服从的，而西方人则是大声和独断的。
At times there is hidden meaning behind words. For instance in some Asian workplaces, employees usually say ‘Yes’ to tasks they are unsure of and keep quiet, which can lead to miscommunication down the line.
有时候，话语背后隐藏着其他含义。例如，在亚洲的一些工作场所，员工通常会对他们不确定的任务说“是”，然后保持沉默，这可能会导致后续地沟通不畅。
有时候，话语背后隐藏着其他含义。例如，在亚洲的一些工作场所，员工通常会对他们不确定的任务说“是”，然后保持沉默，这可能会导致后续地沟通不畅。
Personally I like to say ‘Yes’ to any challenge, then right away ask and annoy others how to get things done – learn as I go along and get things done.
就我个人而言，我喜欢对任何挑战说“是”，然后马上问别人如何把事情做完——边做边学，把事情做完。
就我个人而言，我喜欢对任何挑战说“是”，然后马上问别人如何把事情做完——边做边学，把事情做完。
2. Speaking up
2. 说出来
2. 说出来
Westerners are more likely to speak up and say their mind. On the other hand, those in Asian countries are instinctively listen more.
西方人更愿意畅所欲言，说出自己的想法。另一方面，亚洲国家的人则本能地更愿意倾听。
西方人更愿意畅所欲言，说出自己的想法。另一方面，亚洲国家的人则本能地更愿意倾听。
When there are people in a team who exhibit both these traits, that can get in the way of teamwork.
当一个团队中有这两种特征的人同时存在时，这可能会妨碍团队合作。
当一个团队中有这两种特征的人同时存在时，这可能会妨碍团队合作。
A study by the University of New South Wales on a class of Singapore university students found the class was mainly silent. It also found the students feared being wrong when asking questions but ask targeted questions. Often East-Asian international students often adopt the silent-strategy to deal with the English language barrier in classes, and are eager to learn just like European students.
新南威尔士大学对新加坡一个班级的学生进行的一项研究发现，这个班级的学生们基本上是沉默的。研究还发现，学生们在提问时害怕犯错，但会提出有针对性的问题。东亚留学生往往在课堂上采取沉默策略来应对英语的语言障碍，但和欧洲学生一样渴望学习。
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新南威尔士大学对新加坡一个班级的学生进行的一项研究发现，这个班级的学生们基本上是沉默的。研究还发现，学生们在提问时害怕犯错，但会提出有针对性的问题。东亚留学生往往在课堂上采取沉默策略来应对英语的语言障碍，但和欧洲学生一样渴望学习。
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Again, this communicating behaviour can be attributed to ‘saving face’. In Asian cultures listening and letting others speak is a sign of respect.
同样，这种交流行为可以归结为“留面子”。在亚洲文化中，倾听和让别人说话是尊重别人的表现。
同样，这种交流行为可以归结为“留面子”。在亚洲文化中，倾听和让别人说话是尊重别人的表现。
As I wrote in Why are some Asians so quiet all the time, generally Asians listen to learn from others. Westerners speak up to generate discussion among everyone and therefore learn through discussing ideas.
正如我在《为什么有些亚洲人总是那么安静》一文中所写的那样，一般来说，亚洲人会通过倾听来获得别人的想法。西方人大声说话是为了引起大家的讨论，通过讨论来获得别人的想法。
正如我在《为什么有些亚洲人总是那么安静》一文中所写的那样，一般来说，亚洲人会通过倾听来获得别人的想法。西方人大声说话是为了引起大家的讨论，通过讨论来获得别人的想法。
3. Non-verbal communication
3.非语言交流
3.非语言交流
Eastern and Western cultures interpret non-verbal communication differently. Not all emotions are expressed universally across both cultures.
东西方文化对非语言交际的理解不同。并不是所有的情绪都能在两种文化中以相同的非语言行为来表达。
东西方文化对非语言交际的理解不同。并不是所有的情绪都能在两种文化中以相同的非语言行为来表达。
Maintaining eye contact means confidence and paying attention in Western cultures. In Asian cultures that is a sign of aggression and rudeness.
在西方文化中，保持眼神交流意味着自信和专注。而在亚洲文化中，这是具有侵略性和粗鲁的标志。
在西方文化中，保持眼神交流意味着自信和专注。而在亚洲文化中，这是具有侵略性和粗鲁的标志。
Beckoning with hands is considered friendly in the West. Gesturing with the left hand is considered dirty and offensive in Middle Eastern cultures. Pointing is seen as rude in Malaysia.
在西方，用手打招呼被认为是友好的。在中东文化中，用左手打招呼被认为是肮脏和无礼的。在马来西亚，用手指着别人被视为是粗鲁的行为。
在西方，用手打招呼被认为是友好的。在中东文化中，用左手打招呼被认为是肮脏和无礼的。在马来西亚，用手指着别人被视为是粗鲁的行为。
Smiling at strangers in public is seen as friendly in Australia and the UK. In Asia, it’s strange to smile at strangers and a smile could be a cover-up for negative emotions.
在澳大利亚和英国，在公共场合对陌生人微笑被视为友好。在亚洲，对陌生人微笑是一件很奇怪的事，微笑可能是对负面情绪的掩饰。
在澳大利亚和英国，在公共场合对陌生人微笑被视为友好。在亚洲，对陌生人微笑是一件很奇怪的事，微笑可能是对负面情绪的掩饰。
Emotions are nuanced. Sometimes silence is consent, but other times silence is also not consent.
情绪是很微妙的。有时沉默是表示同意，但有时沉默也不是表示同意。
情绪是很微妙的。有时沉默是表示同意，但有时沉默也不是表示同意。
Spending part of my life in high-crime country Malaysia taught me being silent and sour-faced at strangers is for your own safety. You never know what attention you might invite being friendly with a stranger. I might be seen as impolite avoiding friendly Aussie strangers safety always comes first.
我在高犯罪率国家马来西亚生活的一段时间教会了我，对陌生人保持沉默和冷漠是为了你自己的安全。你永远不知道与陌生人友好相处会发生什么。我可能会被视为不礼貌，他们会想要避开我这个友好的澳大利亚陌生人，安全永远是第一位的。
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我在高犯罪率国家马来西亚生活的一段时间教会了我，对陌生人保持沉默和冷漠是为了你自己的安全。你永远不知道与陌生人友好相处会发生什么。我可能会被视为不礼貌，他们会想要避开我这个友好的澳大利亚陌生人，安全永远是第一位的。
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4. Leadership
4. 领导
4. 领导
Hierarchical structures in Asian workplaces are common and obeying authority is key. In China, guanxi is important for developing good business relationships within various industries.
亚洲职场的等级结构很普遍，服从权威是关键。在中国，人际关系对于在各行各业建立良好的业务关系非常重要。
亚洲职场的等级结构很普遍，服从权威是关键。在中国，人际关系对于在各行各业建立良好的业务关系非常重要。
On the other hand there is more of a flatter level-playing field in the western corporate world. Sharing ideas openly is encouraged. Friday after-work drinks with colleagues and bosses is pretty common in Australia.
另一方面，西方职场的竞争环境更为公平，鼓励大家公开分享自己的想法。在澳大利亚，周五下班后与同事和老板一起喝酒是很常见的。
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另一方面，西方职场的竞争环境更为公平，鼓励大家公开分享自己的想法。在澳大利亚，周五下班后与同事和老板一起喝酒是很常见的。
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An academic review of Western and Chinese leadership models found over time there is a convergence of workplace styles in both cultures. Education and efficiency is valued across both cultures.
对西方和中国领导模式的研究发现，随着时间的推移，两种文化的职场风格趋于一致。两种文化都重视教育和效率。
对西方和中国领导模式的研究发现，随着时间的推移，两种文化的职场风格趋于一致。两种文化都重视教育和效率。
Having worked in many different roles and sectors over the years, I find most white Australian managers and executives like planning things out – drawn out months of consulting before projects get started.
多年来，我在许多不同的职场和部门工作过，我发现大多数澳大利亚白人经理和高管都喜欢把事情计划好——在项目开始之前，他们会花几个月的时间进行咨询。
多年来，我在许多不同的职场和部门工作过，我发现大多数澳大利亚白人经理和高管都喜欢把事情计划好——在项目开始之前，他们会花几个月的时间进行咨询。
Working with freelance clients from Asia is mostly an opposite experience. Their approach was to pay me right away before I did any work. That was nice but it made drawing up contracts at the start and gauging workload challenging – and later having to put up with changing project priorities.
与来自亚洲的自由客户合作大多是一种相反的体验。他们的做法是在我做任何工作之前先付钱给我。这很好，但它使得在开始工作前签订合同和衡量工作量变得很困难——而且后来也不得不忍受不断变化的项目优先级。
与来自亚洲的自由客户合作大多是一种相反的体验。他们的做法是在我做任何工作之前先付钱给我。这很好，但它使得在开始工作前签订合同和衡量工作量变得很困难——而且后来也不得不忍受不断变化的项目优先级。
5. Time
5. 时间
5. 时间
Both Eastern and Western cultures tend to regard punctuality with respect to different degrees.
东西方文化都倾向于在不同程度上重视守时。
东西方文化都倾向于在不同程度上重视守时。
Asian cultures have more of a stickler for things being on time. Showing up on time to work or an appointment is expected in Asia. In 2018 a Japanese railway company made a public apology when a train left its station 25 seconds early.
亚洲文化更注重守时。在亚洲，准时上班或赴约是被鼓励的。2018年，日本一家铁路公司因一列火车提前25秒离开车站而公开道歉。
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亚洲文化更注重守时。在亚洲，准时上班或赴约是被鼓励的。2018年，日本一家铁路公司因一列火车提前25秒离开车站而公开道歉。
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While in Germany things run on clockwork, Spain and France are more relaxed about time where deadlines are more flexible and there is time for nice wine and dine.
在德国，一切都像时钟一样井然有序，而西班牙和法国对时间的要求更宽松，工作的截止日期更灵活，人们有时间享用美酒和美食。
在德国，一切都像时钟一样井然有序，而西班牙和法国对时间的要求更宽松，工作的截止日期更灵活，人们有时间享用美酒和美食。
* * *
Not all of us will always get along. Sometimes it can be hard to see past our cultural values and see things from another’s point of view.
不是所有人都能和睦相处。有时候，我们很难改变自己的文化价值观，站在别人的角度看问题。
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Not all of us will always get along. Sometimes it can be hard to see past our cultural values and see things from another’s point of view.
不是所有人都能和睦相处。有时候，我们很难改变自己的文化价值观，站在别人的角度看问题。
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Sometimes someone’s communication style might rub off you all the time, making you annoyed.
有时候，某些人的沟通方式可能会一直让你反感，让你感到恼火。
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有时候，某些人的沟通方式可能会一直让你反感，让你感到恼火。
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While you might not always agree with someone’s cultural values, you can respect these values and different communication styles. You can always try to listen, let others speak and genuinely ask questions. You can avoid raising your voice, attacking opinions and asserting your opinion over others.
虽然你可能不总是同意别人的文化价值观，但你可以尊重这些价值观和不同的沟通方式。你可以试着倾听，让别人说话，真诚地问问题。你可以避免自己的声音太大，避免攻击别人的观点和表达你对他人的看法。
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虽然你可能不总是同意别人的文化价值观，但你可以尊重这些价值观和不同的沟通方式。你可以试着倾听，让别人说话，真诚地问问题。你可以避免自己的声音太大，避免攻击别人的观点和表达你对他人的看法。
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As Plato said, ‘Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.’
正如柏拉图所说，“智者说话是因为他们有话要说；傻瓜说话是因为他们总得说点什么。”
正如柏拉图所说，“智者说话是因为他们有话要说；傻瓜说话是因为他们总得说点什么。”
How you communicate leaves an impression on others. More importantly how you communicate is a reflection of yourself.
你的沟通方式会给别人留下对你的印象。更重要的是，你的沟通方式反映了你自己的个性。
你的沟通方式会给别人留下对你的印象。更重要的是，你的沟通方式反映了你自己的个性。
Notably being civil to each other’s views might be easier face-to-face in person compared to online interactions. Research has shown online racial discrimination is increasing and online hate is constantly being directed at Asians on social media especially during the coronavirus pandemic.
值得注意的是，与在线互动相比，在面对面交流彼此的观点时表现得彬彬有礼可能会让交流变得更容易。研究表明，网络种族歧视正在增加，尤其是在新冠疫情期间，社交媒体上不断有针对亚洲人的网络仇恨。
值得注意的是，与在线互动相比，在面对面交流彼此的观点时表现得彬彬有礼可能会让交流变得更容易。研究表明，网络种族歧视正在增加，尤其是在新冠疫情期间，社交媒体上不断有针对亚洲人的网络仇恨。
It can be easy to hide behind a screen and express opinionated thoughts anonymously. When someone gives honest criticism face-to-face, they probably are really honest.
躲在屏幕后面，匿名地表达自己的观点是很容易的。但当有人当面给出诚实的批评时，这说明他们可能真的很诚实。
躲在屏幕后面，匿名地表达自己的观点是很容易的。但当有人当面给出诚实的批评时，这说明他们可能真的很诚实。
One time I was walking in the city and a white guy randomly yelled ‘Hey chink!’ in my face. He looked young, rugged and didn’t look sorry. As he walked away looking at me, I walked away looking ahead. I didn’t see the point in confrontation.
有一次我走在城市里，一个白人冲到我面前喊:“嘿，中国佬!”。他看上去很年轻，粗犷，一点也不觉得自己的行为很失礼。他望着我走开了，我也望着前方走开了。我不觉得对抗有什么意义。
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有一次我走在城市里，一个白人冲到我面前喊:“嘿，中国佬!”。他看上去很年轻，粗犷，一点也不觉得自己的行为很失礼。他望着我走开了，我也望着前方走开了。我不觉得对抗有什么意义。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Almost all of the time there is no point in engaging with hate speech. Sometimes even the most opinionated people just want to get on with their day. And so do you. And so do I.
几乎所有时候，参与仇恨言论都是没有意义的。有时候，即使是最固执己见的人也只是想继续他们的生活。你是这样，我也是。
几乎所有时候，参与仇恨言论都是没有意义的。有时候，即使是最固执己见的人也只是想继续他们的生活。你是这样，我也是。
When you make genuine effort to communicate with someone of a different cultural background, there’s always a chance you’ll both get along.
当你真诚地努力与来自不同文化背景的人交流时，你们总是有机会融洽地相处。
当你真诚地努力与来自不同文化背景的人交流时，你们总是有机会融洽地相处。
Have you encountered different communication styles?
你遇到过不同的沟通方式吗?
你遇到过不同的沟通方式吗?
评论翻译
Forestwood
How angry and outdated that guy was to shout at you in the street and awful that in this day and age, you have to hear such a comment when minding your own business. I am sure he would not like being shouted to in the street.
It was very interesting reading about the different communication styles and wonderful that you can bridge the various cultures in understanding both.
Danish folks are notoriously critical of anyone who runs late – as they see it as disrespectful of their time. Australians are notoriously late for almost everything! Maybe they will be influenced to change this thinking in the future. I have Danish friends that call me on the appointed time to say where are you – but now I know how they are I tend to arrive five minutes earlier just to make sure!
那个家伙在街上对你大喊大叫是多么的失礼和过时，在这个时代，当你在关注自己的事情时，突然听到别人对你这样说话，这太可怕了。我敢肯定他不喜欢在街上被人大喊大叫。感受不同的沟通方式是非常有趣的，而且你可以通过理解这两种文化来架起不同文化的沟通桥梁。丹麦人对任何迟到的人都是出了名的挑剔，因为他们认为这是对他们时间的不尊重。澳大利亚人几乎什么事都迟到也是出了名的!也许将来他们会受到影响而改变这种做法。我有一些丹麦朋友，他们会在约定的时间立刻打电话给我，问我你在哪里——现在我知道他们是怎么回事了，我倾向于以后和他们约会时提前五分钟到达，只是为了确保事情会顺利进行!
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
How angry and outdated that guy was to shout at you in the street and awful that in this day and age, you have to hear such a comment when minding your own business. I am sure he would not like being shouted to in the street.
It was very interesting reading about the different communication styles and wonderful that you can bridge the various cultures in understanding both.
Danish folks are notoriously critical of anyone who runs late – as they see it as disrespectful of their time. Australians are notoriously late for almost everything! Maybe they will be influenced to change this thinking in the future. I have Danish friends that call me on the appointed time to say where are you – but now I know how they are I tend to arrive five minutes earlier just to make sure!
那个家伙在街上对你大喊大叫是多么的失礼和过时，在这个时代，当你在关注自己的事情时，突然听到别人对你这样说话，这太可怕了。我敢肯定他不喜欢在街上被人大喊大叫。感受不同的沟通方式是非常有趣的，而且你可以通过理解这两种文化来架起不同文化的沟通桥梁。丹麦人对任何迟到的人都是出了名的挑剔，因为他们认为这是对他们时间的不尊重。澳大利亚人几乎什么事都迟到也是出了名的!也许将来他们会受到影响而改变这种做法。我有一些丹麦朋友，他们会在约定的时间立刻打电话给我，问我你在哪里——现在我知道他们是怎么回事了，我倾向于以后和他们约会时提前五分钟到达，只是为了确保事情会顺利进行!
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Mabel Kwong
That is interesting you say it is outdated the guy was shouting me. Very creative descxtion and I agree with that sentiment. Yes, in this day and age it is surprising to hear a racist comment when you are not even aware that person is around. Recently I had another similar incident, and I am sure this happens elsewhere all the time too. It’s the kind of communication where it’s very hard to get through to the other person, if not almost impossible as that is very stubborn attitude.
That is so interesting to learn about Danish folks being timely. When you agreed on a time to meet, it makes sense to show up on time and not waste the other person’s time. After all, they probably took a while to get there to meet you. That said, there are valid reasons to be late and that’s okay. That is very kind of you to try to be early to meet your Danish friends. It must be nice to be early and everyone gets off to a good start.
有趣的是，那家伙对我大吼大叫，你说他的行为过时了。这是一个非常有创意的描述，我同意这种观点。是的，在这个时代，听到种族主义言论是令人惊讶的，而你甚至都没有意识到这个人可能就会出现在你身边。最近在我身上又发生了一件类似的事情，我相信这种事情在其他地方也经常发生。对方的这种沟通方式让你很难和他进行沟通，因为这是一种非常顽固的态度，想要他改变几乎是不可能的。了解到丹麦人的守时观念是很有趣的。当你们约定了见面的时间，准时出现是有意义的，不要浪费对方的时间。毕竟，他们可能花了一段时间才到了那里准备和你见面。也就是说，当有正当的理由时迟到，这还好。你真是太好了，愿意早点去等着见你的丹麦朋友。早到一定是很好的方式，这会让事情有一个好的开始。
That is interesting you say it is outdated the guy was shouting me. Very creative descxtion and I agree with that sentiment. Yes, in this day and age it is surprising to hear a racist comment when you are not even aware that person is around. Recently I had another similar incident, and I am sure this happens elsewhere all the time too. It’s the kind of communication where it’s very hard to get through to the other person, if not almost impossible as that is very stubborn attitude.
That is so interesting to learn about Danish folks being timely. When you agreed on a time to meet, it makes sense to show up on time and not waste the other person’s time. After all, they probably took a while to get there to meet you. That said, there are valid reasons to be late and that’s okay. That is very kind of you to try to be early to meet your Danish friends. It must be nice to be early and everyone gets off to a good start.
有趣的是，那家伙对我大吼大叫，你说他的行为过时了。这是一个非常有创意的描述，我同意这种观点。是的，在这个时代，听到种族主义言论是令人惊讶的，而你甚至都没有意识到这个人可能就会出现在你身边。最近在我身上又发生了一件类似的事情，我相信这种事情在其他地方也经常发生。对方的这种沟通方式让你很难和他进行沟通，因为这是一种非常顽固的态度，想要他改变几乎是不可能的。了解到丹麦人的守时观念是很有趣的。当你们约定了见面的时间，准时出现是有意义的，不要浪费对方的时间。毕竟，他们可能花了一段时间才到了那里准备和你见面。也就是说，当有正当的理由时迟到，这还好。你真是太好了，愿意早点去等着见你的丹麦朋友。早到一定是很好的方式，这会让事情有一个好的开始。
AutumnAshbough
Such an interesting topic…and I live it every day! My experience with my Chinese-American in-laws has been the opposite of your post, though. They are very, VERY blunt, wanting to know how much money I make, how much rent costs, when we’re going to have a baby, etc. They don’t do subtext or avoid conflict.
The Japanese and Japanese-American women I know are much less likely to be confrontational, right in line with your breakdown. And so is my husband.
As for the rest of the U.S., well, it just depends. New Yorkers of all kinds have no problem getting in your face and yelling.
这是一个有趣的话题，我每天都生活在其中!然而，我和我的华人美国公婆的经历与你的文章所描述的正好相反。他们非常非常直率，想知道我能赚多少钱，房租是多少，我们什么时候要孩子，等等。他们不会用潜台词，也不会避免冲突。我认识的日本女性和日裔美国女性都不太可能会正面对抗别人对她们的大吼大叫，这和你的情况是一致的，我丈夫也是。至于在美国其他地区，那就看情况了。比如各种各样的纽约人在你面前大喊大叫都很普遍。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Such an interesting topic…and I live it every day! My experience with my Chinese-American in-laws has been the opposite of your post, though. They are very, VERY blunt, wanting to know how much money I make, how much rent costs, when we’re going to have a baby, etc. They don’t do subtext or avoid conflict.
The Japanese and Japanese-American women I know are much less likely to be confrontational, right in line with your breakdown. And so is my husband.
As for the rest of the U.S., well, it just depends. New Yorkers of all kinds have no problem getting in your face and yelling.
这是一个有趣的话题，我每天都生活在其中!然而，我和我的华人美国公婆的经历与你的文章所描述的正好相反。他们非常非常直率，想知道我能赚多少钱，房租是多少，我们什么时候要孩子，等等。他们不会用潜台词，也不会避免冲突。我认识的日本女性和日裔美国女性都不太可能会正面对抗别人对她们的大吼大叫，这和你的情况是一致的，我丈夫也是。至于在美国其他地区，那就看情况了。比如各种各样的纽约人在你面前大喊大叫都很普遍。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Mabel Kwong
Your Chinese-American in-laws do sound very blunt! It’s like they want answers right away. Questions like how much your rent is and what you do are honestly very judgemental of your character…which they probably don’t say to your face all the time. Maybe with the newer generation they tend more open-minded and value different things.
I’ve always wanted to go to New York…I had someone from New York tell me that if you jump ahead of the queue for the subway, the person behind you will tell you off for it and force you to the back – like you said, in your face and yelling loud. In Asia, people are pretty silent when this happens.
你的美籍华人公婆听起来确实很直率!他们好像想马上得到答案。你的房租是多少，你的工作是什么，这些问题都是对你背景的评判，不过他们可能不会一直当着你的面说这些。也许对于新一代来说，他们倾向于更开放，更看重不同的东西。我一直都想去纽约，有个纽约人告诉我，如果你在地铁排队时插队，你后面的人会训斥你，把你逼到后面——就像你说的那样，当着你的面大喊大叫。而在亚洲，当这种情况发生时，人们经常会保持沉默。
Your Chinese-American in-laws do sound very blunt! It’s like they want answers right away. Questions like how much your rent is and what you do are honestly very judgemental of your character…which they probably don’t say to your face all the time. Maybe with the newer generation they tend more open-minded and value different things.
I’ve always wanted to go to New York…I had someone from New York tell me that if you jump ahead of the queue for the subway, the person behind you will tell you off for it and force you to the back – like you said, in your face and yelling loud. In Asia, people are pretty silent when this happens.
你的美籍华人公婆听起来确实很直率!他们好像想马上得到答案。你的房租是多少，你的工作是什么，这些问题都是对你背景的评判，不过他们可能不会一直当着你的面说这些。也许对于新一代来说，他们倾向于更开放，更看重不同的东西。我一直都想去纽约，有个纽约人告诉我，如果你在地铁排队时插队，你后面的人会训斥你，把你逼到后面——就像你说的那样，当着你的面大喊大叫。而在亚洲，当这种情况发生时，人们经常会保持沉默。
balroop
This post nicely analyses communication differences but Mabel, I would like to clarify some misconceptions. While I agree with collectivism in Asian culture, much of it is caused by fears – fear of getting disliked or dropped from a project, as submission and keeping quiet even when you disagree is considered to be a value. In other words, freedom of thought and expression is suppressed. It may be emphasized that listening quietly is a sign of respect but speaking against injustice is also construed as disrespect. When somebody is raised with snub and mute mechanism, they tend to become “passive” but there are many who choose to speak up even in the face of criticism.
Punctuality could never be generalized as it varies with each individual especially in Asian countries.
这篇文章很好地分析了沟通差异，但梅布尔，我想澄清一些误解。虽然我同意亚洲文化中的集体主义，但这在很大程度上是由恐惧引起的——害怕自己不受欢迎或从一个项目中被移出，因为即使你不同意，服从和保持沉默也被认为是一种价值取向。换句话说，思想和言论自由是受到压制的。需要强调的是，安静地倾听是尊重别人的表现，但同时反对别人不正确的言论也被认为是对别人的不尊重。当一个人在沉默机制中长大时，他们往往会变得“被动”，但也有很多人即使面对批评也会选择大声说出自己的想法。是否守时不能一概而论，因为它因人而异，尤其是在亚洲国家。
This post nicely analyses communication differences but Mabel, I would like to clarify some misconceptions. While I agree with collectivism in Asian culture, much of it is caused by fears – fear of getting disliked or dropped from a project, as submission and keeping quiet even when you disagree is considered to be a value. In other words, freedom of thought and expression is suppressed. It may be emphasized that listening quietly is a sign of respect but speaking against injustice is also construed as disrespect. When somebody is raised with snub and mute mechanism, they tend to become “passive” but there are many who choose to speak up even in the face of criticism.
Punctuality could never be generalized as it varies with each individual especially in Asian countries.
这篇文章很好地分析了沟通差异，但梅布尔，我想澄清一些误解。虽然我同意亚洲文化中的集体主义，但这在很大程度上是由恐惧引起的——害怕自己不受欢迎或从一个项目中被移出，因为即使你不同意，服从和保持沉默也被认为是一种价值取向。换句话说，思想和言论自由是受到压制的。需要强调的是，安静地倾听是尊重别人的表现，但同时反对别人不正确的言论也被认为是对别人的不尊重。当一个人在沉默机制中长大时，他们往往会变得“被动”，但也有很多人即使面对批评也会选择大声说出自己的想法。是否守时不能一概而论，因为它因人而异，尤其是在亚洲国家。
Mabel Kwong
So happy to see you here, Balroop. You always provide such insightful insights that make us all think. You bring up an excellent point, that in Asian culture collectivism is cause by fear and fear encourages a certain kind of behaviour. Sometimes it does make sense to remain quiet so as to fit in and it is the better thing to do than speaking up and offending others. Fear is probably an emotion many Asian cultures can relate to more than we want to admit…Very wise words from you and thank you for that.
很高兴在这里见到你，巴鲁普。你的见解总是发人深省。你提出了一个很好的观点，在亚洲文化中，集体主义是由恐惧引起的，而恐惧让某些行为变得更加普遍化。有时候，保持沉默以适应环境是有意义的，这比大声说话和冒犯别人要好。恐惧可能是许多亚洲文化都有的一种情感，只是人们不愿承认……你说得很有智慧，谢谢你。
So happy to see you here, Balroop. You always provide such insightful insights that make us all think. You bring up an excellent point, that in Asian culture collectivism is cause by fear and fear encourages a certain kind of behaviour. Sometimes it does make sense to remain quiet so as to fit in and it is the better thing to do than speaking up and offending others. Fear is probably an emotion many Asian cultures can relate to more than we want to admit…Very wise words from you and thank you for that.
很高兴在这里见到你，巴鲁普。你的见解总是发人深省。你提出了一个很好的观点，在亚洲文化中，集体主义是由恐惧引起的，而恐惧让某些行为变得更加普遍化。有时候，保持沉默以适应环境是有意义的，这比大声说话和冒犯别人要好。恐惧可能是许多亚洲文化都有的一种情感，只是人们不愿承认……你说得很有智慧，谢谢你。
Anne Mehrling
I found your points very interesting. I’ve not had discussions with many people from other cultures. However, I grew up in a Southern state in the US and lived in a Northern state for 50 years. There was a great difference in the way people talked and reacted to each other. I have been comfortable and felt at home in both areas.
我发现你的观点很有趣。我没有和很多其他文化背景的人交流过。然而，我在美国南部的一个州长大，又在北部的一个州生活了50年。人们交谈和反应的方式有很大的不同。但我在这两个地方都过得很舒服，感觉就像在家里一样。
I found your points very interesting. I’ve not had discussions with many people from other cultures. However, I grew up in a Southern state in the US and lived in a Northern state for 50 years. There was a great difference in the way people talked and reacted to each other. I have been comfortable and felt at home in both areas.
我发现你的观点很有趣。我没有和很多其他文化背景的人交流过。然而，我在美国南部的一个州长大，又在北部的一个州生活了50年。人们交谈和反应的方式有很大的不同。但我在这两个地方都过得很舒服，感觉就像在家里一样。
Mabel Kwong
Thanks, Anne. It sounds like you had two different experiences in a Southern and Northern state in the US. Hopefully you didn’t have trouble understanding the way people talked and you acclimatized okay. Lovely to hear you felt comfortable in both places.
谢谢你,安妮。听起来你在美国南部州和北部州有两种不同的经历。希望你在理解别人说话的方式上没有困难，很明显你已经适应了。很高兴听到你在两个地方都感觉很舒服。
Thanks, Anne. It sounds like you had two different experiences in a Southern and Northern state in the US. Hopefully you didn’t have trouble understanding the way people talked and you acclimatized okay. Lovely to hear you felt comfortable in both places.
谢谢你,安妮。听起来你在美国南部州和北部州有两种不同的经历。希望你在理解别人说话的方式上没有困难，很明显你已经适应了。很高兴听到你在两个地方都感觉很舒服。
Simon
Very interesting essay, as always. The idea of ‘saving face’ – it reminds me of a previous article of yours, I think pertaining to paying for a family dinner or some such, in the context of showing off wealth. It does seem like there is a lot more emphasis put on gestures than direct communication. The distinction between high and low context styles of communication may not be specific to cultures either. Maybe it’s just a sad reflection on my part, but as a (perhaps gross) generalisation I notice when women want something for a gift they often won’t state it directly but instead drop hints, subtle cues. And then the poor bloke (like me) who has no idea what those hints are would much rather prefer things be said outright to avoid misunderstandings and disappointments…
Sometimes I wish I would shut up and listen instead of speaking (too) early. It’s a good trait to have. As you know from my long-winded comments I often don’t know when to stop speaking/writing. But perhaps that applies more in a one-on-one context. In a group context, I tend to be more reserved, unless the discussion is about something I know a lot about. It’s interesting to have a learning context where everyone is quiet – as one accustomed more to Western culture I’d find that awkward. (Did I not explain clearly? Am I not communicating well enough for them?) I know a few Caucasian folks who have had teaching experience in Asia – would be interesting to know if they’ve had this experience of a silent classroom. Maybe contrasting with rowdy students in a Western cultural background they really like that!
I didn’t know prolonged eye contact would be considered rude in an Eastern context. Funnily, I’d find the opposite to be rude – if someone is not looking at me (especially for a prolonged period) when I’m talking to them, I’d find that off-putting. Can still be a problem in Western culture too, where people often think it’s okay to look at their phones while you’re talking to them…
I think there is still hierarchy in the corporate world, even in Western contexts. But depending on the nature of the company and the individuals, it does seem like it’s more common to have approachable superiors and a more ‘all are equal’ kind of mentality. I find it interesting that your work experience has included the extremes of pre-planning and upfront payments. In the software development world (my field), excessive pre-planning is generally accepted as counter-productive, but it’s still insisted upon by traditional, business-minded folks. I’ve also learned about how some companies have flourished *because* they don’t hold to a traditional hierarchical structure, while those that do often stagnate and wither or even die.
I definitely agree with the approach to punctuality between cultures! My parents would often take me to appointments way too early – to the point where I’d be bored for a long time before anyone else showed up. And yet… to avoid doing that same thing as an adult I too often cut it too closely and wind up being a bit late instead… but that’s okay – Western culture almost expects tardiness! (Hence the term ‘fashionably late’)
非常有趣的文章，一如既往。“留面子”的概念让我想起了你之前的一篇文章，那篇文章是关于为了炫耀财富而为家庭聚餐或其他类似的事情买单。比起直接交流，手势似乎更受重视。高语境和低语境交流风格之间的区别可能也不是某种文化特有的。也许这只是我的一个悲哀的反思，但作为一个(也许是粗俗的)概括，我注意到当女人想要礼物时，她们通常不会直接说出来，而是暗示，微妙的暗示。然后可怜的家伙(像我一样)不知道这些暗示是什么，宁愿她们直截了当地说出来，以避免相互误解和失望……有时我真希望我能闭嘴倾听，而不是过早地说话。这是一个很好的品质。正如你从我冗长的评论中所知道的，我经常不知道什么时候该停止说话/写作。但也许这更适用于一对一的情况。在群体环境中，除非讨论的话题是我非常了解的，否则我会比较沉默。有趣的是，在亚洲的学习环境中，每个人都很安静——作为一个更习惯西方文化的人，我觉得这很尴尬。因为我不知道我有没有把我的想法解释清楚，我也不知道我的沟通方式是否不够好。我认识一些在亚洲有过教学经历的白人，我很想知道他们是否有过这种安静课堂的经历。也许与西方文化背景下吵闹的学生相比，亚洲学生真的很喜欢这样!
我不知道在东方语境中，长时间的目光接触会被认为是粗鲁的。有趣的是，我发现相反的情况也被认为是粗鲁的——如果我和他们说话时有人不看我(尤其是长时间不看我)，我会觉得很不愉快。在亚洲人们通常认为和他们说话时看手机是可以的，这在西方文化中也是一个问题……我认为即使在西方，职场仍然存在等级制度。但根据公司的性质，平易近人的上司和“人人平等”的心态似乎更常见。我觉得很有趣的是，你的工作经历包括了预先计划和预付这两种极端情况。在软件开发领域(我从事的领域)，过度的预先计划通常被认为是适得其反的，但传统的、有商业头脑的人仍然坚持这样做。我还了解到，一些公司之所以能够蓬勃发展，“是因为”他们没有坚持传统的等级结构，而那些仍然在坚持的公司往往会停滞不前，衰落甚至倒闭。我完全同意你对不同文化之间关于守时的描述!在我小时候，我的父母经常提前很长时间把我带到约定的地点，以至于在别人出现之前，我已经无聊了很长时间。所以现在作为一个成年人，为了避免发生同样的事情，我经常把时间掐得很死，结果通常可能会是迟到了一点，但没关系——西方文化几乎欢迎迟到!(因此才有了“时髦的迟到”这个词。)
Very interesting essay, as always. The idea of ‘saving face’ – it reminds me of a previous article of yours, I think pertaining to paying for a family dinner or some such, in the context of showing off wealth. It does seem like there is a lot more emphasis put on gestures than direct communication. The distinction between high and low context styles of communication may not be specific to cultures either. Maybe it’s just a sad reflection on my part, but as a (perhaps gross) generalisation I notice when women want something for a gift they often won’t state it directly but instead drop hints, subtle cues. And then the poor bloke (like me) who has no idea what those hints are would much rather prefer things be said outright to avoid misunderstandings and disappointments…
Sometimes I wish I would shut up and listen instead of speaking (too) early. It’s a good trait to have. As you know from my long-winded comments I often don’t know when to stop speaking/writing. But perhaps that applies more in a one-on-one context. In a group context, I tend to be more reserved, unless the discussion is about something I know a lot about. It’s interesting to have a learning context where everyone is quiet – as one accustomed more to Western culture I’d find that awkward. (Did I not explain clearly? Am I not communicating well enough for them?) I know a few Caucasian folks who have had teaching experience in Asia – would be interesting to know if they’ve had this experience of a silent classroom. Maybe contrasting with rowdy students in a Western cultural background they really like that!
I didn’t know prolonged eye contact would be considered rude in an Eastern context. Funnily, I’d find the opposite to be rude – if someone is not looking at me (especially for a prolonged period) when I’m talking to them, I’d find that off-putting. Can still be a problem in Western culture too, where people often think it’s okay to look at their phones while you’re talking to them…
I think there is still hierarchy in the corporate world, even in Western contexts. But depending on the nature of the company and the individuals, it does seem like it’s more common to have approachable superiors and a more ‘all are equal’ kind of mentality. I find it interesting that your work experience has included the extremes of pre-planning and upfront payments. In the software development world (my field), excessive pre-planning is generally accepted as counter-productive, but it’s still insisted upon by traditional, business-minded folks. I’ve also learned about how some companies have flourished *because* they don’t hold to a traditional hierarchical structure, while those that do often stagnate and wither or even die.
I definitely agree with the approach to punctuality between cultures! My parents would often take me to appointments way too early – to the point where I’d be bored for a long time before anyone else showed up. And yet… to avoid doing that same thing as an adult I too often cut it too closely and wind up being a bit late instead… but that’s okay – Western culture almost expects tardiness! (Hence the term ‘fashionably late’)
非常有趣的文章，一如既往。“留面子”的概念让我想起了你之前的一篇文章，那篇文章是关于为了炫耀财富而为家庭聚餐或其他类似的事情买单。比起直接交流，手势似乎更受重视。高语境和低语境交流风格之间的区别可能也不是某种文化特有的。也许这只是我的一个悲哀的反思，但作为一个(也许是粗俗的)概括，我注意到当女人想要礼物时，她们通常不会直接说出来，而是暗示，微妙的暗示。然后可怜的家伙(像我一样)不知道这些暗示是什么，宁愿她们直截了当地说出来，以避免相互误解和失望……有时我真希望我能闭嘴倾听，而不是过早地说话。这是一个很好的品质。正如你从我冗长的评论中所知道的，我经常不知道什么时候该停止说话/写作。但也许这更适用于一对一的情况。在群体环境中，除非讨论的话题是我非常了解的，否则我会比较沉默。有趣的是，在亚洲的学习环境中，每个人都很安静——作为一个更习惯西方文化的人，我觉得这很尴尬。因为我不知道我有没有把我的想法解释清楚，我也不知道我的沟通方式是否不够好。我认识一些在亚洲有过教学经历的白人，我很想知道他们是否有过这种安静课堂的经历。也许与西方文化背景下吵闹的学生相比，亚洲学生真的很喜欢这样!
我不知道在东方语境中，长时间的目光接触会被认为是粗鲁的。有趣的是，我发现相反的情况也被认为是粗鲁的——如果我和他们说话时有人不看我(尤其是长时间不看我)，我会觉得很不愉快。在亚洲人们通常认为和他们说话时看手机是可以的，这在西方文化中也是一个问题……我认为即使在西方，职场仍然存在等级制度。但根据公司的性质，平易近人的上司和“人人平等”的心态似乎更常见。我觉得很有趣的是，你的工作经历包括了预先计划和预付这两种极端情况。在软件开发领域(我从事的领域)，过度的预先计划通常被认为是适得其反的，但传统的、有商业头脑的人仍然坚持这样做。我还了解到，一些公司之所以能够蓬勃发展，“是因为”他们没有坚持传统的等级结构，而那些仍然在坚持的公司往往会停滞不前，衰落甚至倒闭。我完全同意你对不同文化之间关于守时的描述!在我小时候，我的父母经常提前很长时间把我带到约定的地点，以至于在别人出现之前，我已经无聊了很长时间。所以现在作为一个成年人，为了避免发生同样的事情，我经常把时间掐得很死，结果通常可能会是迟到了一点，但没关系——西方文化几乎欢迎迟到!(因此才有了“时髦的迟到”这个词。)
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