国外奇葩问答：为什么女人就是不明白，一个男人可以全心全意地爱他们，但仍然和其他女人睡在一起？自古以来，就是如此，通过婚姻“驯化”男人，并不能真正改变这一点。
正文翻译
Why do women fail to understand that a man can love them wholeheartedly but still sleep with other women? This has happened since the beginning of time and "domesticating" men through marriage isn't really going to change that.
为什么女人就是不明白，一个男人可以全心全意地爱他们，但仍然和其他女人睡在一起？自古以来，就是如此，通过婚姻“驯化”男人，并不能真正改变这一点。
为什么女人就是不明白，一个男人可以全心全意地爱他们，但仍然和其他女人睡在一起？自古以来，就是如此，通过婚姻“驯化”男人，并不能真正改变这一点。
评论翻译
Allen Lobo
“NO ONE is chill about being deceived, betrayed and made a fool of.”
Couldn’t agree more.
It is a pet peeve of mine, the hypocrisy of how we are told to give politicians who cheat on their spouses, a pass. In the name of “it’s their personal business!” (I single out politicians here as compared to spousal cheating by other celebrities like say actors, businessmen or sportstars because in the case of non-political celebrities, we’re not being asked to trust our economy, society or national fate in their hands, instead we merely enjoy and consume the services that a celebrity entrepreneur or musician creates/provides in a fashion that is merely transactional).
“没有人可以对欺骗、背叛和愚弄，感到漠然。”
非常同意。
我最讨厌的事情，就是有人告诉我，应该给那些对配偶不忠的政客一张通行证，这是虚伪的。
他们说：“这是他们的私事！”
（与演员、商人或体育明星等其他名人出轨相比，我在这里特别提到了政客，因为非政治名人，并没有掌控我们的经济、社会或国家命运。相反，我们只是享受和消费名人企业家或音乐家创造/提供的娱乐服务）
Feef
Hilarious.
Like women in love don’t also get bored of the same partner day after day, year after year. Like they don’t sometimes wish they could mix things up with the hot window cleaner on their Diet Coke break.
If ever you want to see a man either crumble to his knees in tears or explode with violent rage, then just cheat on him. You’ll soon realise that NO ONE is chill about being deceived, betrayed and made a fool of. Not women. Not men.
滑稽。
说得好像恋爱中的女人，就不会对这个日复一日、年复一年相同的伴侣，感到厌倦一样。就好像，他们有时不会希望在喝着健怡可乐休息的时候，可以和窗外那个火辣的窗户清洁员来一发一样。
如果你想看到一个男人哭得跪倒在地，或者勃然大怒，那就对他不忠吧。你很快就会意识到，没有人可以对欺骗、背叛和愚弄，感到漠然。无关是男人，还是女人。
Hilarious.
Like women in love don’t also get bored of the same partner day after day, year after year. Like they don’t sometimes wish they could mix things up with the hot window cleaner on their Diet Coke break.
If ever you want to see a man either crumble to his knees in tears or explode with violent rage, then just cheat on him. You’ll soon realise that NO ONE is chill about being deceived, betrayed and made a fool of. Not women. Not men.
滑稽。
说得好像恋爱中的女人，就不会对这个日复一日、年复一年相同的伴侣，感到厌倦一样。就好像，他们有时不会希望在喝着健怡可乐休息的时候，可以和窗外那个火辣的窗户清洁员来一发一样。
如果你想看到一个男人哭得跪倒在地，或者勃然大怒，那就对他不忠吧。你很快就会意识到，没有人可以对欺骗、背叛和愚弄，感到漠然。无关是男人，还是女人。
Allen Lobo
“NO ONE is chill about being deceived, betrayed and made a fool of.”
Couldn’t agree more.
It is a pet peeve of mine, the hypocrisy of how we are told to give politicians who cheat on their spouses, a pass. In the name of “it’s their personal business!” (I single out politicians here as compared to spousal cheating by other celebrities like say actors, businessmen or sportstars because in the case of non-political celebrities, we’re not being asked to trust our economy, society or national fate in their hands, instead we merely enjoy and consume the services that a celebrity entrepreneur or musician creates/provides in a fashion that is merely transactional).
“没有人可以对欺骗、背叛和愚弄，感到漠然。”
非常同意。
我最讨厌的事情，就是有人告诉我，应该给那些对配偶不忠的政客一张通行证，这是虚伪的。
他们说：“这是他们的私事！”
（与演员、商人或体育明星等其他名人出轨相比，我在这里特别提到了政客，因为非政治名人，并没有掌控我们的经济、社会或国家命运。相反，我们只是享受和消费名人企业家或音乐家创造/提供的娱乐服务）
So when it comes to politicians cheating on their spouses, I often ask such persons who advocate a free pass - Tell me now, if it came out that this very same politician had swindled their closest friend out of their retirement savings or deceived a sibling that was living hand-to-mouth out of their inheritance - all still in their personal life of course. Would you sir even then persist in saying “Oh well, that deception and swindling of their best friend and/or sister? Pfft, who cares, it’s irrelevant, it’s their personal business after all!”? Of course you wouldn’t!
因此，当谈到政客对配偶不忠时，我经常问那些主张要给他们免费通行证的人——现在告诉我，如果这个政客骗取了他们最亲密的朋友的退休储蓄，或者欺骗了一个靠遗产勉强糊口的兄弟姐妹——现在你告诉我，这还是他们的私事吗？
先生，嗯，你还会坚持说：“哦，好吧，对他们最好的朋友和/或姐妹进行欺骗？但是，谁在乎呢，这无关紧要，毕竟这是他们的私事！”吗？
你当然不会！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
因此，当谈到政客对配偶不忠时，我经常问那些主张要给他们免费通行证的人——现在告诉我，如果这个政客骗取了他们最亲密的朋友的退休储蓄，或者欺骗了一个靠遗产勉强糊口的兄弟姐妹——现在你告诉我，这还是他们的私事吗？
先生，嗯，你还会坚持说：“哦，好吧，对他们最好的朋友和/或姐妹进行欺骗？但是，谁在乎呢，这无关紧要，毕竟这是他们的私事！”吗？
你当然不会！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
You would rightfully retort “How can I as a complete stranger trust this person who will readily cheat their own brother or reduce their close friend to poverty!” Ah, but when they betray their spouse, you know the person that they swore the foremost fidelity to, their loyalty before any friend or sibling - then suddenly and magically it’s somehow okay and just “personal business”? That the only person who it’s okay for them to betray and screw over thoroughly, is precisely the person who they are supposed to be the most loyal to? Completely upside down logic, it is simply not intellectually consistent.
你会理直气壮地反驳道：“作为一个完全陌生的人，我怎么能相信这个会轻易欺骗自己的兄弟或让亲密朋友陷入贫困的人！”
啊，但当他们背叛配偶时，这是他们发誓最应该忠诚的人，在任何朋友或兄弟姐妹之前的忠诚——然后，突然间，神奇地，这一切都没问题了，只是“私事”了？
他们唯一可以背叛和彻底背叛的人，正是他们最应该忠诚的人？逻辑颠倒，理智上完全说不通。
你会理直气壮地反驳道：“作为一个完全陌生的人，我怎么能相信这个会轻易欺骗自己的兄弟或让亲密朋友陷入贫困的人！”
啊，但当他们背叛配偶时，这是他们发誓最应该忠诚的人，在任何朋友或兄弟姐妹之前的忠诚——然后，突然间，神奇地，这一切都没问题了，只是“私事”了？
他们唯一可以背叛和彻底背叛的人，正是他们最应该忠诚的人？逻辑颠倒，理智上完全说不通。
And then there’s the whole “Oh I may have cheated on my wife and been a bad husband, but I was always a good father! I love my kids” Bull-fucking-shit. It’s akin to how if I were to kick my girlfriend’s dog to death, but then I pamper her, and say “Yeah yeah I may have killed her dog, but hey I treated her like a queen, I care so much for her! I’m a splendid boyfriend!” See how stupid and disingenuous that sounds? You betray your spouse = you wreck the childhood of your kids. End of. No, you are a godawful bad parent who didn’t give a hoot in hell about your kids, at least not when it came to keeping it in your pants. And no amount of gifts or “quality time” will compensate for that terrible injury (btw I cringe at that term “quality time”, as if there was you know, something else by contrast called “shit time” to spend with kids). They may be children but they aren’t fools.
然后，就是：“哦，我可能背叛了我的妻子，做了一个糟糕的丈夫，但我一直是一个好父亲！我爱我的孩子。”
这就像我踢死了我女朋友的狗，但我爱她，然后说：“是的，是的，我可能杀了她的狗，但，嘿，我把她当女王一样对待，我非常关心她！我是一个很棒的男朋友！”
看看这听起来有多愚蠢和虚伪？
你背叛了你的配偶=你毁了你孩子的童年。结束。
不，你是一个糟糕透顶的父母，对你的孩子一点也不在乎，至少，你的孩子没有你的欲望重要。
再多的礼物或“优质时间”也无法弥补这种可怕的伤害。
顺便说一句，我对“优质时间“这个词感到尴尬，就好像你知道，相比之下，你和你的孩子相处的那些日子，还有一种叫做“糟糕时间”的东西。
他们可能是孩子，但他们不是傻瓜。
然后，就是：“哦，我可能背叛了我的妻子，做了一个糟糕的丈夫，但我一直是一个好父亲！我爱我的孩子。”
这就像我踢死了我女朋友的狗，但我爱她，然后说：“是的，是的，我可能杀了她的狗，但，嘿，我把她当女王一样对待，我非常关心她！我是一个很棒的男朋友！”
看看这听起来有多愚蠢和虚伪？
你背叛了你的配偶=你毁了你孩子的童年。结束。
不，你是一个糟糕透顶的父母，对你的孩子一点也不在乎，至少，你的孩子没有你的欲望重要。
再多的礼物或“优质时间”也无法弥补这种可怕的伤害。
顺便说一句，我对“优质时间“这个词感到尴尬，就好像你知道，相比之下，你和你的孩子相处的那些日子，还有一种叫做“糟糕时间”的东西。
他们可能是孩子，但他们不是傻瓜。
Bethany Bosworth
My uncle is the kindest, most sensitive man I’ve ever met. I happened to be staying with my uncle when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant with another man’s child. He acted in a way that was so horrifically out of character for him. I’ve never seen it before or since. None of his anger was directed at me, but even just being in the house and witnessing it was terrifying.
For what it’s worth: After everything happened, he apologized profusely to me because I had to witness it. I forgave him immediately, they had been together for 6 or 7 years and I imagine it’s hard to hold yourself together in that situation.
我叔叔是我见过的最善良、最敏感的人。当我叔叔发现他的女朋友怀上了另一个男人的孩子时，我正好和他住在一起。他的行为方式与他的性格格格不入。我以前或以后从未见过那样的他。他的愤怒并没有指向我，但即使只是在家里目睹这一切也很可怕。
值得一提的是：一切发生后，他向我道歉，因为我必须亲眼目睹这一切。我立即原谅了他。那时候，他们在一起已经6、7年了，我想在那种情况下很难让自己振作起来。
My uncle is the kindest, most sensitive man I’ve ever met. I happened to be staying with my uncle when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant with another man’s child. He acted in a way that was so horrifically out of character for him. I’ve never seen it before or since. None of his anger was directed at me, but even just being in the house and witnessing it was terrifying.
For what it’s worth: After everything happened, he apologized profusely to me because I had to witness it. I forgave him immediately, they had been together for 6 or 7 years and I imagine it’s hard to hold yourself together in that situation.
我叔叔是我见过的最善良、最敏感的人。当我叔叔发现他的女朋友怀上了另一个男人的孩子时，我正好和他住在一起。他的行为方式与他的性格格格不入。我以前或以后从未见过那样的他。他的愤怒并没有指向我，但即使只是在家里目睹这一切也很可怕。
值得一提的是：一切发生后，他向我道歉，因为我必须亲眼目睹这一切。我立即原谅了他。那时候，他们在一起已经6、7年了，我想在那种情况下很难让自己振作起来。
Chioma Ndukwe
Poor man…it's always the nice, honest and faithful ones that are hit the most in such situations.
可怜的人……在这种情况下，总是善良、诚实和忠诚的人，受到的打击最大。
Poor man…it's always the nice, honest and faithful ones that are hit the most in such situations.
可怜的人……在这种情况下，总是善良、诚实和忠诚的人，受到的打击最大。
Janet Lane
And that is why I am now allergic to falling in love with anyone!.. it's like a battle between men and women!…I've watched men getting divorced to remarry someone younger and then have more children with the young women and then that relationship goes down the pan and you are back to square one with a complicated situation…poor kids…
这就是为什么我现在对爱上任何人都过敏的原因！
这就像一场男人和女人之间的战斗！
我看到过男人离婚后与年轻的人再婚，然后与年轻的女人生更多的孩子，然后这段关系破裂，他又回到了原点，面临着复杂的情况……可怜的孩子……
And that is why I am now allergic to falling in love with anyone!.. it's like a battle between men and women!…I've watched men getting divorced to remarry someone younger and then have more children with the young women and then that relationship goes down the pan and you are back to square one with a complicated situation…poor kids…
这就是为什么我现在对爱上任何人都过敏的原因！
这就像一场男人和女人之间的战斗！
我看到过男人离婚后与年轻的人再婚，然后与年轻的女人生更多的孩子，然后这段关系破裂，他又回到了原点，面临着复杂的情况……可怜的孩子……
David Birkhead
I think the difference is respect. If you love someone that's one thing. But if you cheat, you can't respect their value as a person or their feelings. If you did it would hurt you as much as it hurts them to do it, regardless of your gender.
我认为区别在于尊重。你爱不爱她是另一回事。但如果你对她不忠，你就不能尊重他们作为一个人的价值，也不在乎他们的感受。如果你这样做，不管你的性别是什么，他们受到的伤害，和他们做了同样的事情，对你的伤害一样大。
I think the difference is respect. If you love someone that's one thing. But if you cheat, you can't respect their value as a person or their feelings. If you did it would hurt you as much as it hurts them to do it, regardless of your gender.
我认为区别在于尊重。你爱不爱她是另一回事。但如果你对她不忠，你就不能尊重他们作为一个人的价值，也不在乎他们的感受。如果你这样做，不管你的性别是什么，他们受到的伤害，和他们做了同样的事情，对你的伤害一样大。
Feef
Excellent point. Respect even more than love, for sure.
说得好！当然，尊重甚至超过爱。
Excellent point. Respect even more than love, for sure.
说得好！当然，尊重甚至超过爱。
Judy Simon
Some men: it was just sex, it meant nothing.
Same men: we should have sex more often, it’s how I connect and bond with you.
某些男人：这只是性而已，毫无意义。
还是这些男人：我们应该经常做爱，这是我与你的联系和纽带。
Some men: it was just sex, it meant nothing.
Same men: we should have sex more often, it’s how I connect and bond with you.
某些男人：这只是性而已，毫无意义。
还是这些男人：我们应该经常做爱，这是我与你的联系和纽带。
Carol Schneider
Anyone who will not commit to fidelity should not pursue anyone who wants and expects fidelity.
任何不承诺忠诚的人，都不应该追求任何想要和期望忠诚的人。
Anyone who will not commit to fidelity should not pursue anyone who wants and expects fidelity.
任何不承诺忠诚的人，都不应该追求任何想要和期望忠诚的人。
Kimberly Thorn
Why not just stay single? Why do they get in a commeted relationship knowing that they are not able to be faithful. Pure selfishness.
为什么不保持单身呢？为什么他们会在明知自己无法忠诚的情况下，建立一种约定的关系。纯粹的自私。
Why not just stay single? Why do they get in a commeted relationship knowing that they are not able to be faithful. Pure selfishness.
为什么不保持单身呢？为什么他们会在明知自己无法忠诚的情况下，建立一种约定的关系。纯粹的自私。
Feef
Yep. Someone’s got to do all the cooking and cleaning, I guess.
嘿，我猜，大概是需要有个人来做饭和打扫卫生。
Yep. Someone’s got to do all the cooking and cleaning, I guess.
嘿，我猜，大概是需要有个人来做饭和打扫卫生。
Dana Shaylovsky
Not to mention, the entire marriage institution was created to domesticate women!
更不用说，整个婚姻制度都是为了驯化女性而建立的！
Not to mention, the entire marriage institution was created to domesticate women!
更不用说，整个婚姻制度都是为了驯化女性而建立的！
Romain Clère
Great answer!
Cheaters are liars, and to me, the lowest form of human life. But it has nothing to do with sex or gender, it’s “only” about respect and love.
If you cheat, you simply dont respect the one you claim to love above all others, so you lack of respect to everyone.
答案很棒！
出轨的人都是骗子，对我来说，他们都是人类中的渣渣。这和性、性别没有任何关系，这一切“只是”关于尊重和爱。
如果你不忠，你根本就不尊重你声称爱的人，所以你对每个人都不尊重。
Great answer!
Cheaters are liars, and to me, the lowest form of human life. But it has nothing to do with sex or gender, it’s “only” about respect and love.
If you cheat, you simply dont respect the one you claim to love above all others, so you lack of respect to everyone.
答案很棒！
出轨的人都是骗子，对我来说，他们都是人类中的渣渣。这和性、性别没有任何关系，这一切“只是”关于尊重和爱。
如果你不忠，你根本就不尊重你声称爱的人，所以你对每个人都不尊重。
Leah
What I find hard to understand is why a man will want to marry, and claim he wants monogamy, when it isn’t true.
There is this idea that circulates in my native country (the US) that women all want marriage and monogamy, and men don’t. Living in a different culture, I have seen the pervasive idea is the opposite- men want to tie a woman down, and women don’t. I suspect it is highly lixed to the financial reasons. The social security net is much stronger and women don’t need a man to survive economically, and divorces are more fair. There is benefit for a man to marry, as he gets a lot of domestic chores taken care of by her, whereas for the woman, there isn’t much benefit.
我很难理解的是，为什么一个男人声称他想要一夫一妻制，但心里根本不这么想，却还是会想要结婚。
在我的祖国（美国）流传着这样一种观点，即女性都想要婚姻和一夫一妻制，而男性不想要。在另一个不同的文化中生活久了，我看到了普遍存在的相反的想法——男人想束缚女人，而女人不想。
我怀疑这与经济原因密切相关。社会保障强大了，女性不需要依附男人的经济就能生存，离婚也更公平了。
结婚对男人来说是有好处的，因为他有很多家务活由她照顾，而对女人来说，没有太多好处。
What I find hard to understand is why a man will want to marry, and claim he wants monogamy, when it isn’t true.
There is this idea that circulates in my native country (the US) that women all want marriage and monogamy, and men don’t. Living in a different culture, I have seen the pervasive idea is the opposite- men want to tie a woman down, and women don’t. I suspect it is highly lixed to the financial reasons. The social security net is much stronger and women don’t need a man to survive economically, and divorces are more fair. There is benefit for a man to marry, as he gets a lot of domestic chores taken care of by her, whereas for the woman, there isn’t much benefit.
我很难理解的是，为什么一个男人声称他想要一夫一妻制，但心里根本不这么想，却还是会想要结婚。
在我的祖国（美国）流传着这样一种观点，即女性都想要婚姻和一夫一妻制，而男性不想要。在另一个不同的文化中生活久了，我看到了普遍存在的相反的想法——男人想束缚女人，而女人不想。
我怀疑这与经济原因密切相关。社会保障强大了，女性不需要依附男人的经济就能生存，离婚也更公平了。
结婚对男人来说是有好处的，因为他有很多家务活由她照顾，而对女人来说，没有太多好处。
This makes me think that women wanting to tie men down into monogamy isn’t so much about sexual drive differences as it is economic. In some places, women want to ensure the man can provide economic security for her and her children, without spending on other women and offspring. Particularly when there isn’t much support available from the community and society.
这让我认为，女性想要把男性束缚在一夫一妻制中，与其说是性欲差异，不如说是经济因素。
在一些地方，女性希望确保男性能够为她和她的孩子提供经济保障，而不在其他女性和后代身上花钱。尤其是在社区和社会没有太多支持的情况下。
这让我认为，女性想要把男性束缚在一夫一妻制中，与其说是性欲差异，不如说是经济因素。
在一些地方，女性希望确保男性能够为她和她的孩子提供经济保障，而不在其他女性和后代身上花钱。尤其是在社区和社会没有太多支持的情况下。
My personal experience in marriage, and with a man who cheated outrageously, left me with the impression that sometimes men aren’t honest with themselves about what they want, so cannot be honest with their partner, even if they love them. They may just be conditioned to believe marriage and monogamy is necessary and expected. They follow that path without asking themselves questions or considering other options in form of relations.
Sometimes, they are aware they don’t want sexual monogamy, but, at the same time, want it from their mate. They want to have sex with a multitude of people, but cannot stand the idea that she also have that option. So they lie. They possess, and deceive. Not loving, in my opinion. They might even believe and say they love her, but they are confusing desire to possess with love.
我个人的婚姻经历，和一个疯狂出轨的男人的婚姻经历，给我的印象是，有时男人对自己想要的东西不诚实，所以，即使他们爱她们，也不能对他们的伴侣忠诚。他们可能只是习惯于相信婚姻和一夫一妻制是必要的和期望的。他们走这条路，没有问自己问题，也没有考虑其他关系形式的选择。
有时，他们意识到他们不想要性的一夫一妻制，但同时希望伴侣遵守性的一夫一妻制。他们想和很多人发生性关系，但无法忍受妻子也有同样的想法。所以他们撒谎。他们占有并欺骗。在我看来，这不是爱。他们甚至可能真的相信自己是爱妻子的，但他们混淆了占有欲和爱。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Sometimes, they are aware they don’t want sexual monogamy, but, at the same time, want it from their mate. They want to have sex with a multitude of people, but cannot stand the idea that she also have that option. So they lie. They possess, and deceive. Not loving, in my opinion. They might even believe and say they love her, but they are confusing desire to possess with love.
我个人的婚姻经历，和一个疯狂出轨的男人的婚姻经历，给我的印象是，有时男人对自己想要的东西不诚实，所以，即使他们爱她们，也不能对他们的伴侣忠诚。他们可能只是习惯于相信婚姻和一夫一妻制是必要的和期望的。他们走这条路，没有问自己问题，也没有考虑其他关系形式的选择。
有时，他们意识到他们不想要性的一夫一妻制，但同时希望伴侣遵守性的一夫一妻制。他们想和很多人发生性关系，但无法忍受妻子也有同样的想法。所以他们撒谎。他们占有并欺骗。在我看来，这不是爱。他们甚至可能真的相信自己是爱妻子的，但他们混淆了占有欲和爱。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Possession is not love. Whether it be a male or female, that is not loving. And if you don’t know yourself, you cannot share that self with someone who loves you.
If you are a man that truly knows you can love someone and also have sex with others, without it impacting that relationship, then tell her that. If that doesn’t correspond to what she wants, she can have the choice to leave. Not giving her the choice to know who you are, is not being loving. It is being a conman.
占有不是爱。无论是男性还是女性，这都不是爱。如果你不了解你自己，你就不能和爱你的人分享你的自我。
如果你认为你是一个可以真正的爱一个人的同时，又和别人发生性关系，还不会影响这段关系的男人，那就告诉她。如果这与她想要的不符，她可以选择离开。
如果你根本就不告诉她，你是这样的人，这就不是爱，你是个骗子！
If you are a man that truly knows you can love someone and also have sex with others, without it impacting that relationship, then tell her that. If that doesn’t correspond to what she wants, she can have the choice to leave. Not giving her the choice to know who you are, is not being loving. It is being a conman.
占有不是爱。无论是男性还是女性，这都不是爱。如果你不了解你自己，你就不能和爱你的人分享你的自我。
如果你认为你是一个可以真正的爱一个人的同时，又和别人发生性关系，还不会影响这段关系的男人，那就告诉她。如果这与她想要的不符，她可以选择离开。
如果你根本就不告诉她，你是这样的人，这就不是爱，你是个骗子！
Christine Robinson
That’s comical. Honestly.
Reverse that. How would men feel if they married a woman, who said “Hey, babe, I love you!” Then, turn around and sleep with man after man.
I’m almost certain… most men would be venting on here, Quora, about how women are SO unfaithful, she screws around, she’s not loyal, etc etc. You can think of more words. Believe me, I know you can.
老实说，真滑稽。
如果情况相反。一个男人娶了一个女人。这个女人说：“嘿，宝贝，我爱你！”
然后，她转身就和一个又一个男人上床，男人们会有什么感觉？
我几乎可以肯定……大多数男人都会在QA疯狂发泄，说：女人是如何的不忠，她到处乱搞，她不忠诚，等等。你可以想更多类似的话。相信我，我知道你可以。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
That’s comical. Honestly.
Reverse that. How would men feel if they married a woman, who said “Hey, babe, I love you!” Then, turn around and sleep with man after man.
I’m almost certain… most men would be venting on here, Quora, about how women are SO unfaithful, she screws around, she’s not loyal, etc etc. You can think of more words. Believe me, I know you can.
老实说，真滑稽。
如果情况相反。一个男人娶了一个女人。这个女人说：“嘿，宝贝，我爱你！”
然后，她转身就和一个又一个男人上床，男人们会有什么感觉？
我几乎可以肯定……大多数男人都会在QA疯狂发泄，说：女人是如何的不忠，她到处乱搞，她不忠诚，等等。你可以想更多类似的话。相信我，我知道你可以。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
How would men feel about marrying a woman without moral compass? If a man wants to sleep around, if a man knows he can’t control his urges, then don’t get married. Marriage is not for everyone.
No, you can’t love someone and sleep around on them. It is NOT possible.
I know some folks on Quora will say “you can sleep around and yet still love someone you are married to. You just won’t love them like a partner/spouse/etc”.
You cannot. It’s not possible.
和一个没有道德的女人结婚，男人会有什么感觉？如果一个男人想到处与人上床，如果一个人知道自己无法控制自己的欲望，那就不要结婚。并不是每个人都必须结婚。
不！你不可能爱着一个人，却到处和别人睡。这是不可能的！
我知道，QA上有些人，可能会说：“你可以到处和人睡，但仍然爱着那个和你结婚的人。你只是不能像一个伴侣/配偶那样爱他们。”
你不能。这是不可能的。
No, you can’t love someone and sleep around on them. It is NOT possible.
I know some folks on Quora will say “you can sleep around and yet still love someone you are married to. You just won’t love them like a partner/spouse/etc”.
You cannot. It’s not possible.
和一个没有道德的女人结婚，男人会有什么感觉？如果一个男人想到处与人上床，如果一个人知道自己无法控制自己的欲望，那就不要结婚。并不是每个人都必须结婚。
不！你不可能爱着一个人，却到处和别人睡。这是不可能的！
我知道，QA上有些人，可能会说：“你可以到处和人睡，但仍然爱着那个和你结婚的人。你只是不能像一个伴侣/配偶那样爱他们。”
你不能。这是不可能的。
Larri Brady McKnight
Why do men fail to understand that a woman can love them wholeheartedly but still sleep with other men? Because if your premise is true, this is also true. Throughout time, love and sex have only ever been lixed in romantic and patriarchal literature.
And who says that a woman cannot wholeheartedly love more than one man?
为什么男人不明白，一个女人可以全心全意地爱他们，但仍然和其他男人睡在一起？
因为，如果你的前提是真的，那这也是真的。
长久以来，爱情和性，只在浪漫主义和父权文学中，被联系在一起。
谁说一个女人不能全心全意地爱不止一个男人呢？
Why do men fail to understand that a woman can love them wholeheartedly but still sleep with other men? Because if your premise is true, this is also true. Throughout time, love and sex have only ever been lixed in romantic and patriarchal literature.
And who says that a woman cannot wholeheartedly love more than one man?
为什么男人不明白，一个女人可以全心全意地爱他们，但仍然和其他男人睡在一起？
因为，如果你的前提是真的，那这也是真的。
长久以来，爱情和性，只在浪漫主义和父权文学中，被联系在一起。
谁说一个女人不能全心全意地爱不止一个男人呢？
The betrayal of infidelity isn’t just based on the rubbing together of body parts. It’s about the betrayal. The breaking of promises. It’s about the lying and how the cheater absolutely makes their partner look like a fool.
If you’re going to be married, you have to abide by the rules of the marriage contract, and that typically means sexual exclusivity for both parties. If you don’t want to be sexually exclusive, then don’t get married, or make it clear going in that both of you can have other lovers. It really is that simple. Because if you don’t want to be sexually exclusive, you shouldn’t expect it from your partner. Anything else it unfair. If you don’t want your partner to have other lovers, you can’t expect them to.
不忠的背叛，不仅仅是身体部位的摩擦。
这是关于背叛。违背承诺。这是关于撒谎，以及骗子如何让他们的伴侣看起来像个傻瓜。
如果你要结婚，你必须遵守婚姻合同的规则，这通常意味着双方的性排他性。
如果你不想在性方面有排他性，那就不要结婚，或者明确表示你们两个都可以有其他情人。
真的，就这么简单。
因为如果你不想在性方面有排他性，你就不应该期望你的伴侣这样做。其他方法都是不公平的。如果你不想你的伴侣有其他情人，你就不能指望他们同意你有其他情人。
If you’re going to be married, you have to abide by the rules of the marriage contract, and that typically means sexual exclusivity for both parties. If you don’t want to be sexually exclusive, then don’t get married, or make it clear going in that both of you can have other lovers. It really is that simple. Because if you don’t want to be sexually exclusive, you shouldn’t expect it from your partner. Anything else it unfair. If you don’t want your partner to have other lovers, you can’t expect them to.
不忠的背叛，不仅仅是身体部位的摩擦。
这是关于背叛。违背承诺。这是关于撒谎，以及骗子如何让他们的伴侣看起来像个傻瓜。
如果你要结婚，你必须遵守婚姻合同的规则，这通常意味着双方的性排他性。
如果你不想在性方面有排他性，那就不要结婚，或者明确表示你们两个都可以有其他情人。
真的，就这么简单。
因为如果你不想在性方面有排他性，你就不应该期望你的伴侣这样做。其他方法都是不公平的。如果你不想你的伴侣有其他情人，你就不能指望他们同意你有其他情人。
And that’s the real thing. It’s not about “domesticating” men, it’s ultimately about fairness. It’s about equality. It’s about keeping promises and vows. It’s about not lying.
No one gives a rosy shit about what has happened “Since the beginning of time.” That’s a bullshit excuse for breaking your promise to “keep only unto each other.” If you can’t do that, don’t get married. Women expect men to keep their promises, just like men expect women to.
这才是事实，和“驯化”男人无关，归根结底是关于公平。这关乎平等。这是关于信守承诺和誓言。这是关于不撒谎。
没有人对“自古以来”就有的事情感觉美好。这就是违背“只守着彼此”承诺的借口。如果你做不到，就不要结婚。女人期望男人信守诺言，就像男人期望女人信守诺言一样。
No one gives a rosy shit about what has happened “Since the beginning of time.” That’s a bullshit excuse for breaking your promise to “keep only unto each other.” If you can’t do that, don’t get married. Women expect men to keep their promises, just like men expect women to.
这才是事实，和“驯化”男人无关，归根结底是关于公平。这关乎平等。这是关于信守承诺和誓言。这是关于不撒谎。
没有人对“自古以来”就有的事情感觉美好。这就是违背“只守着彼此”承诺的借口。如果你做不到，就不要结婚。女人期望男人信守诺言，就像男人期望女人信守诺言一样。
Alice Twain
Why do “men" fail to understand that for "women" it's exactly the same and that “domesticating" us isn't going to change that?
为什么“男人”不明白，对“女人”来说，情况也是一样的，而“驯化”我们不会改变这一点？
Why do “men" fail to understand that for "women" it's exactly the same and that “domesticating" us isn't going to change that?
为什么“男人”不明白，对“女人”来说，情况也是一样的，而“驯化”我们不会改变这一点？
Johanna Appelberg
You really don’t understand the concept of an open relationship or even straight-up polyamory, do you?
In other words, there are plenty of women who will not only understand this but will even encourage it.
That said, you will have to give the the same leeway to your partner, so if she too wants to have sex with someone else you can’t say no or shame her for it.
In any case, as long as you understand this, there is nothing stopping you from finding women who are in fact OK with all of this. The important thing here is to not start a relationship with someone who expects monogamy.
你是真的不理解，开放式婚姻关系和一夫多妻制的概念，是吗？
换言之，有很多女性不仅理解这一点，甚至会鼓励这一点。
也就是说，你必须给你的伴侣同样的回旋余地，所以，如果她也想和别人发生性关系，你不能拒绝或羞辱她。
无论如何，只要你明白这一点，没有什么能阻止你，找到对这一切都满意的女人。
最重要的是，不要和一个期望一夫一妻制的人发展一段关系。
You really don’t understand the concept of an open relationship or even straight-up polyamory, do you?
In other words, there are plenty of women who will not only understand this but will even encourage it.
That said, you will have to give the the same leeway to your partner, so if she too wants to have sex with someone else you can’t say no or shame her for it.
In any case, as long as you understand this, there is nothing stopping you from finding women who are in fact OK with all of this. The important thing here is to not start a relationship with someone who expects monogamy.
你是真的不理解，开放式婚姻关系和一夫多妻制的概念，是吗？
换言之，有很多女性不仅理解这一点，甚至会鼓励这一点。
也就是说，你必须给你的伴侣同样的回旋余地，所以，如果她也想和别人发生性关系，你不能拒绝或羞辱她。
无论如何，只要你明白这一点，没有什么能阻止你，找到对这一切都满意的女人。
最重要的是，不要和一个期望一夫一妻制的人发展一段关系。
The No Contact Coach; Author Expert on Narcissists
Oh be quiet!
Love is a collection of feelings and acts. It's trust, peace, loyalty, support and RESPECT.
You ain't loving no one if you are cheating. You ain't loving your partner, your side piece or YOURSELF
哦，安静！
爱是感情和行为的集合。这是信任、和平、忠诚、支持和尊重。
如果你不忠，你就不爱任何人。你不爱你的伴侣，不爱你的备胎情人，也不爱你自己。
Oh be quiet!
Love is a collection of feelings and acts. It's trust, peace, loyalty, support and RESPECT.
You ain't loving no one if you are cheating. You ain't loving your partner, your side piece or YOURSELF
哦，安静！
爱是感情和行为的集合。这是信任、和平、忠诚、支持和尊重。
如果你不忠，你就不爱任何人。你不爱你的伴侣，不爱你的备胎情人，也不爱你自己。
Milly Stuchinski
No worries. Women of integrity don’t want to “domesticate” cheaters. Nope. Kick ’em to the curb. There are some real catches out there, don’t you know?
不用担心。正直的女人不想“驯化”出轨者。从不。她会把他们踢到路边。外面有的是真正的陷阱，你不知道吗？
No worries. Women of integrity don’t want to “domesticate” cheaters. Nope. Kick ’em to the curb. There are some real catches out there, don’t you know?
不用担心。正直的女人不想“驯化”出轨者。从不。她会把他们踢到路边。外面有的是真正的陷阱，你不知道吗？
Alex Gray
First of, marriage was never about domesticating men. It was a form of sex trade where fathers would sell their daugamers to men. It was to buy political power and to produce heirs.
And considering paterinty tests weren't a thing marriage plus purity culture ensures the children she birthed belonged to him. That ensured he didn't raise and give inheritance to a child not his.
Purity culture was all about the women, not the man.
首先，在过去，婚姻从来都不是为了驯化男人。这是一种性交易形式，父亲会把女儿卖给男人。这是为了购买政治权力并产生继承人。
父权制不是婚姻的加分项，纯洁文化确保她生下的孩子，是属于他的。这确保了他不会抚养和将继承权给一个不是他亲生的孩子。
纯洁文化针对的是女人，而不是男人。
First of, marriage was never about domesticating men. It was a form of sex trade where fathers would sell their daugamers to men. It was to buy political power and to produce heirs.
And considering paterinty tests weren't a thing marriage plus purity culture ensures the children she birthed belonged to him. That ensured he didn't raise and give inheritance to a child not his.
Purity culture was all about the women, not the man.
首先，在过去，婚姻从来都不是为了驯化男人。这是一种性交易形式，父亲会把女儿卖给男人。这是为了购买政治权力并产生继承人。
父权制不是婚姻的加分项，纯洁文化确保她生下的孩子，是属于他的。这确保了他不会抚养和将继承权给一个不是他亲生的孩子。
纯洁文化针对的是女人，而不是男人。
Today though marriage is for very different reasons, one being love. Another being companionship. And it's completely optional as women are treated as equals, not slaves considered dependents who were bought and sold. Women can now hold a job, open a bank account, get a mortgage all on her own. She doesn't need permission from the men in her life to simply live her life.
然而，今天的婚姻有着截然不同的原因，其中之一就是爱情。另一种是陪伴。这是完全可以选择的，因为女性是被平等对待，而不是被买卖的，被视为 从属物的奴隶。
现在，女性可以独自工作、开立银行账户、获得抵押贷款。她不需要生活中男人的允许就可以过自己的生活。
然而，今天的婚姻有着截然不同的原因，其中之一就是爱情。另一种是陪伴。这是完全可以选择的，因为女性是被平等对待，而不是被买卖的，被视为 从属物的奴隶。
现在，女性可以独自工作、开立银行账户、获得抵押贷款。她不需要生活中男人的允许就可以过自己的生活。
And as we as a society are moving forwards and recognised people are people who all deserve rights a freedoms, no fault divorce is a thing.
So no women do not need to believe this lie that men can love them and cheat on them. They can divorce if they don't like that kind of behaviour. There is absolutely no reason to accept this.
随着社会的进步，人们都承认自己应该享有权利和自由，无过错离婚就是其中一件。
因此，任何女人都不需要相信这个谎言，认为男人可以既爱他们又对他们不忠。如果他们不喜欢这种行为，他们可以离婚。绝对没有任何理由需要接受这一点。
So no women do not need to believe this lie that men can love them and cheat on them. They can divorce if they don't like that kind of behaviour. There is absolutely no reason to accept this.
随着社会的进步，人们都承认自己应该享有权利和自由，无过错离婚就是其中一件。
因此，任何女人都不需要相信这个谎言，认为男人可以既爱他们又对他们不忠。如果他们不喜欢这种行为，他们可以离婚。绝对没有任何理由需要接受这一点。
And yes it's a lie. This is because love requires respect. Cheating on a person disrespects them. The disrespect is she is unable to consent to the relationship because you are keeping from her the open status of what she was told is a monogamous relationship. You have removed her choice to remain in this relationship knowing all the conditionsof it. That is disrespectful.
是的，这是一个谎言。这是因为爱需要尊重。出轨就是对别人的不尊重。不尊重的地方在于，她无法同意这段关系，而你对她隐瞒了一切，她被告知你们是一夫一妻制的关系，而真实情况并非如此。你在明知一切的情况下，取消了她继续保持这段关系的选择机会。这是对她的不尊重。
是的，这是一个谎言。这是因为爱需要尊重。出轨就是对别人的不尊重。不尊重的地方在于，她无法同意这段关系，而你对她隐瞒了一切，她被告知你们是一夫一妻制的关系，而真实情况并非如此。你在明知一切的情况下，取消了她继续保持这段关系的选择机会。这是对她的不尊重。
And it's disrespect because you sleeping around puts her health at risk she did not consent to. No condom is 100% disease proof. And her being in a committed relationship she may not even be using condoms. If she gets a rash, or mild symptoms her first thought is not going to be an STD. And not all STDs have symptoms early on. She is not regularly screening for STDs because she isn't sleeping around. Not treating an STD could lead to complications like destroying her ability to have children.
That's actually a pretty shitty thing to do to a person.
这种不尊重，体现在你在不经过她的同意，就将她的健康暴露于危险之中。所有的避孕套都不是100%防疫的。
而且，在一段她认为忠诚的关系中，她甚至可能没有使用避孕套。如果她出现皮疹或轻微症状，她首先想到的不会是性传播疾病。
而且，并非所有的性传播疾病都会在早期出现症状。她不会定期筛查性传播疾病，因为她没有到处和人上床。不治疗性病可能会导致并发症，比如破坏她的生育能力。
对一个人来说，这其实是一件很糟糕的事情。
That's actually a pretty shitty thing to do to a person.
这种不尊重，体现在你在不经过她的同意，就将她的健康暴露于危险之中。所有的避孕套都不是100%防疫的。
而且，在一段她认为忠诚的关系中，她甚至可能没有使用避孕套。如果她出现皮疹或轻微症状，她首先想到的不会是性传播疾病。
而且，并非所有的性传播疾病都会在早期出现症状。她不会定期筛查性传播疾病，因为她没有到处和人上床。不治疗性病可能会导致并发症，比如破坏她的生育能力。
对一个人来说，这其实是一件很糟糕的事情。
And again condoms are not 100% baby proof. You could get someone else pregnant who decides to keep the kid and chase you for your share of parental duties or money for your kid.
This again affects the women in your relationship. She did not sign up to be dealing with your baby mama. She did not sign up to raising step kids. And she did not sign up to being affected by the financial contribution you are now making to your kid.
再说一遍，避孕套并不是100%可以防止怀孕的。你可能让其他人怀孕，他们决定留下孩子，并为了让你尽父亲的责任，为了抚养孩子的钱，而天天追着你跑。
这将再次影响到和你结婚的那个女性。她可没有报名如何和你的孩子的妈妈打交道。她也没有报名如何抚养继子女。她还没有报名，因为你需要抚养孩子而影响到她的经济状况。
This again affects the women in your relationship. She did not sign up to be dealing with your baby mama. She did not sign up to raising step kids. And she did not sign up to being affected by the financial contribution you are now making to your kid.
再说一遍，避孕套并不是100%可以防止怀孕的。你可能让其他人怀孕，他们决定留下孩子，并为了让你尽父亲的责任，为了抚养孩子的钱，而天天追着你跑。
这将再次影响到和你结婚的那个女性。她可没有报名如何和你的孩子的妈妈打交道。她也没有报名如何抚养继子女。她还没有报名，因为你需要抚养孩子而影响到她的经济状况。
Tell me again, how is that loving your wife? That looks a lot like short sighted selfish behaviour that hurts another. FYI that isn't love. You saying you love a person you activity disrespect and hurt is a lie. Sure you might have feelings of really loving you wife. But to your wife your feelings are irrelevant. She can't feel them and gets no benefit of your feelings. What she experiences are your actions and how they impact her, and your actions are not loving at all. She experiences her feelings which do be betray, hurt and anger as a result of your actions, not love.
再告诉我一次，你是如何爱你的妻子的？这看起来很像是伤害他人的短视自私行为。
仅供参考，那不是爱。
你说你爱一个你既不尊重，而且还要去伤害的人，这是一个谎言。
当然，你可能会产生一种你很爱你妻子的感觉。但对你妻子来说，你这种感受毫无卵用。她感觉不到它们，也没有从你的感受中获益。
她所经历的是，你的行为以及它们对她的影响，而你的行为根本不是爱。她的感受是背叛、伤害和愤怒，这是你的行为导致的结果，这不是爱。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
再告诉我一次，你是如何爱你的妻子的？这看起来很像是伤害他人的短视自私行为。
仅供参考，那不是爱。
你说你爱一个你既不尊重，而且还要去伤害的人，这是一个谎言。
当然，你可能会产生一种你很爱你妻子的感觉。但对你妻子来说，你这种感受毫无卵用。她感觉不到它们，也没有从你的感受中获益。
她所经历的是，你的行为以及它们对她的影响，而你的行为根本不是爱。她的感受是背叛、伤害和愤怒，这是你的行为导致的结果，这不是爱。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
And if you want is to sleep around why are you lying about it? Open relationships are an option. Polyamoury is an option. Causual relationships are an option. You can have a wife and side chick's because some people are open and ok with this arrangement. You should only be marrying people who are ok and consent to the kind of relationship you want.
You should not be lying about commitment to dupe a person into marrying you who is not ok with you sleeping with other people.
如果你想到处和人睡，你为什么要撒谎？开放式婚姻是一种选择。一夫多妻制也是一种选择。只谈情爱不结婚也是一种选择。
你可以有一个妻子和其他情人，只要这些人对这件事情保持开放态度。你应该只和那些同意你想要的婚姻关系的人结婚。
你不应该在欺骗一个不同意你和其他人上床的人，让她同意嫁给你，你又背弃对她的承诺。
You should not be lying about commitment to dupe a person into marrying you who is not ok with you sleeping with other people.
如果你想到处和人睡，你为什么要撒谎？开放式婚姻是一种选择。一夫多妻制也是一种选择。只谈情爱不结婚也是一种选择。
你可以有一个妻子和其他情人，只要这些人对这件事情保持开放态度。你应该只和那些同意你想要的婚姻关系的人结婚。
你不应该在欺骗一个不同意你和其他人上床的人，让她同意嫁给你，你又背弃对她的承诺。
This clearly means this is not about sex with other people, it's you want to cheat. You want to be able to break the rules as you please and you want to do this consequence free. Because if you actually wanted an open relationship you world not be lying about it to get that. You would have it and everyone invited being ok with it.
We don't live in the stone age. We don't live in the time women were bought and sold as wives. We live in a time of equal rights and divorce is acquirable. I think it's you that needs to accept women now have the power to call out your shitty behaviour and walk away from it. If you don't like that you are going to have to do the personal work to stop behaving in a shitty way because you now can't trap women in marriage who in the past would have had to put up with cheating and shitty behaviour. Yeah men have to do better today if they want a wife and for their wife to stay.
这根本就不是你想要和很多人发现性关系的事情，而是你想要出轨。你希望能够随心所欲地打破规则，并且你希望这样做没有后果。
因为，如果你真的想要一段开放式的关系，你根本不需要为了得到它而撒谎。你会得到它，只要每个参与的人，都能够接受它，就可以了。
我们不是生活在石器时代。我们不是生活在女人被当作妻子买卖的时代。我们生活在一个权利平等的时代，离婚是可以接受的。
我认为你需要接受的是，女性现在有权说出你的糟糕行为，然后放弃与你的婚姻。
如果你不喜欢这样，你就必须做自己的工作，停止糟糕的行为，因为，你现在不能在婚姻中，困住那些过去不得不忍受出轨和糟糕行为的女性。是的，如果男人们想要一个妻子，为了让他们的妻子留下来，他们今天必须做得更好。
We don't live in the stone age. We don't live in the time women were bought and sold as wives. We live in a time of equal rights and divorce is acquirable. I think it's you that needs to accept women now have the power to call out your shitty behaviour and walk away from it. If you don't like that you are going to have to do the personal work to stop behaving in a shitty way because you now can't trap women in marriage who in the past would have had to put up with cheating and shitty behaviour. Yeah men have to do better today if they want a wife and for their wife to stay.
这根本就不是你想要和很多人发现性关系的事情，而是你想要出轨。你希望能够随心所欲地打破规则，并且你希望这样做没有后果。
因为，如果你真的想要一段开放式的关系，你根本不需要为了得到它而撒谎。你会得到它，只要每个参与的人，都能够接受它，就可以了。
我们不是生活在石器时代。我们不是生活在女人被当作妻子买卖的时代。我们生活在一个权利平等的时代，离婚是可以接受的。
我认为你需要接受的是，女性现在有权说出你的糟糕行为，然后放弃与你的婚姻。
如果你不喜欢这样，你就必须做自己的工作，停止糟糕的行为，因为，你现在不能在婚姻中，困住那些过去不得不忍受出轨和糟糕行为的女性。是的，如果男人们想要一个妻子，为了让他们的妻子留下来，他们今天必须做得更好。
So women fail to understand you because they don't have to understand you. Or actually, they understand you but simply disagree with you logic. They value different things to you and have the autonomy to act on their own desires and wants. Lol you can not make women agree with you when they have other options that suit them much better than what you have to offer.
所以，女人不能理解你，是因为她们不必理解你。
或者实际上，他们理解你，但只是不同意你的逻辑。
他们和你重视的东西不同，并且他们有根据自己的欲望和愿望行事的自主权。
哈哈，当女人有其他比你更适合她们的选择时，你无法让她们必须同意你的观点。
所以，女人不能理解你，是因为她们不必理解你。
或者实际上，他们理解你，但只是不同意你的逻辑。
他们和你重视的东西不同，并且他们有根据自己的欲望和愿望行事的自主权。
哈哈，当女人有其他比你更适合她们的选择时，你无法让她们必须同意你的观点。
To engage in bad behaviour often requires justification to make it now ok to you. This prevents you having to deal with the cognitive dissonance of wanting to be a good person and doing a bad thing. Justify the bad thing until it's good and this means you remain a good person in your personal narrative.
Claiming love and cheating can coexist and that's how it's always been is an attempt to justify cheating. Most people get cheating is not ok. Both men and women understand this. It takes justifying to make this palatable. If it actually was a good thing you wouldn't need to explain yourself and get people to understand you to be ok with what to are proposing. You would not have to waste your breath to try and convince women they should accept cheating from the men in their life. And you would not need to double down on your justification when even seem unable to understand you.
当一个人，意图从事不良行为的时候，都会给自己找一个正当理由，让自己的行为变得合理起来。
这样你就不必处理“我是一个好人”，“我在做一件坏事”，这样的认知失调。
为坏事辩护，直到它成为一件好事，这样，你就可以在心里继续认为自己是个好人了。
声称爱和出轨可以共存，这一直是一种为出轨辩护的尝试。大多数人都认为出轨是不好的。男人和女人都明白这一点。
要让这件事情变得让人满意，需要有正当理由。
如果这真的是一件好事，你就不需要解释自己，也不需要让人们理解你的提议。你也不必浪费你的生命去说服女人，她们应该接受男人在生活中的出轨行为。就算别人看起来无法理解你，你也不需要加倍强调你的理由。
Claiming love and cheating can coexist and that's how it's always been is an attempt to justify cheating. Most people get cheating is not ok. Both men and women understand this. It takes justifying to make this palatable. If it actually was a good thing you wouldn't need to explain yourself and get people to understand you to be ok with what to are proposing. You would not have to waste your breath to try and convince women they should accept cheating from the men in their life. And you would not need to double down on your justification when even seem unable to understand you.
当一个人，意图从事不良行为的时候，都会给自己找一个正当理由，让自己的行为变得合理起来。
这样你就不必处理“我是一个好人”，“我在做一件坏事”，这样的认知失调。
为坏事辩护，直到它成为一件好事，这样，你就可以在心里继续认为自己是个好人了。
声称爱和出轨可以共存，这一直是一种为出轨辩护的尝试。大多数人都认为出轨是不好的。男人和女人都明白这一点。
要让这件事情变得让人满意，需要有正当理由。
如果这真的是一件好事，你就不需要解释自己，也不需要让人们理解你的提议。你也不必浪费你的生命去说服女人，她们应该接受男人在生活中的出轨行为。就算别人看起来无法理解你，你也不需要加倍强调你的理由。
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