30多岁的人们容易犯怎样的错误？
正文翻译
What’s a common mistake people make in their 30s?
30多岁的人们容易犯怎样的错误？
What’s a common mistake people make in their 30s?
30多岁的人们容易犯怎样的错误？
评论翻译
Lavenderplatte
Stay in unhealthy toxic relationships.
停留在不健康的人际关系之中。
Stay in unhealthy toxic relationships.
停留在不健康的人际关系之中。
Beetin
I'd add to that list:
我想再加几个进去：
I'd add to that list:
我想再加几个进去：
Staying in unhealthy toxic relationships.
停留在不健康的人际关系之中。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
停留在不健康的人际关系之中。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Jumping into new relationships / marriage because you think you are getting 'too old'
因为觉得自己“太老了”，就急着进入一段新的关系或者新的婚姻
因为觉得自己“太老了”，就急着进入一段新的关系或者新的婚姻
Letting healthy relationships die due to focusing on work/self
因为把注意力集中在工作或者自己身上，而让健康的人际关系慢慢消失
因为把注意力集中在工作或者自己身上，而让健康的人际关系慢慢消失
Not jumping into relationships because you had bad dating experiences in your 20's (some people do get much better)
因为二十多岁的时候有过惨痛的恋爱经历，而不敢进入一段新的关系
因为二十多岁的时候有过惨痛的恋爱经历，而不敢进入一段新的关系
30's make every mistake in the book. I'd say the overarching theme is "making relationship decisions due to focusing on avoiding/meeting/holding onto milestones by a certain age" (I can't be a divorcee at 34, I have to be married by 34, I need to start a family in the next two years, I'm too old to start dating again)
三十多岁的人们会把书里的每种错误都犯一遍。要我说，其中的共性就是“为了避免/迎接某个年龄的里程碑而做出亲密关系的决策”（我不能当一个34岁离异的人，我必须得在34岁结婚，我得在两年内组成一个家庭，我年纪太大了不应该再约会了）
三十多岁的人们会把书里的每种错误都犯一遍。要我说，其中的共性就是“为了避免/迎接某个年龄的里程碑而做出亲密关系的决策”（我不能当一个34岁离异的人，我必须得在34岁结婚，我得在两年内组成一个家庭，我年纪太大了不应该再约会了）
theresites
Romanticizing your 20s and fearing your 40s. (live where you are)
把你20多岁时的时光浪漫化，然后恐惧你40多岁时的样子。（要活在当下）
Romanticizing your 20s and fearing your 40s. (live where you are)
把你20多岁时的时光浪漫化，然后恐惧你40多岁时的样子。（要活在当下）
iamnottheuser
This is so good. So easy to romanticize the past and fear the future. Life is organic and so are we. We will keep changing and often times in a good way (stronger, wiser, more confident etc.). I'm so happy to be who I am at 37.
这句话说得太对了。浪漫化过去并恐惧未来是一件很容易的事儿。生活是个有机体，我们自己也是。我们会不断地改变，并且通常都是往好的方向去改变（更强壮，更聪明，更有自信，等等）。我对于37岁的自己很满意。
This is so good. So easy to romanticize the past and fear the future. Life is organic and so are we. We will keep changing and often times in a good way (stronger, wiser, more confident etc.). I'm so happy to be who I am at 37.
这句话说得太对了。浪漫化过去并恐惧未来是一件很容易的事儿。生活是个有机体，我们自己也是。我们会不断地改变，并且通常都是往好的方向去改变（更强壮，更聪明，更有自信，等等）。我对于37岁的自己很满意。
ledger_man
My 30s have been soooo much better than my 20s and I still have 3 years of them left. Romanticizing my 20s - not a problem ha. I do miss my 20s body’s ability to bounce back though!
30多岁的我和20多岁的我相比简直强了太多，并且我还有三年的时光才奔四呢。把20多岁的时光浪漫化，确实没问题。我确实怀念20多岁时自己能马上恢复回来的身板！
My 30s have been soooo much better than my 20s and I still have 3 years of them left. Romanticizing my 20s - not a problem ha. I do miss my 20s body’s ability to bounce back though!
30多岁的我和20多岁的我相比简直强了太多，并且我还有三年的时光才奔四呢。把20多岁的时光浪漫化，确实没问题。我确实怀念20多岁时自己能马上恢复回来的身板！
morningsaystoidleon
Bill Burr had a great line about that in one of his podcasts. Paraphrasing, but:
Bill Burr在他的播客里说过这样一句很棒的话：
Bill Burr had a great line about that in one of his podcasts. Paraphrasing, but:
Bill Burr在他的播客里说过这样一句很棒的话：
I'm gonna be 55, but I learned a long time ago that when I'm 65, I'll wish I was 55. So I can spend this year wishing I was 45 or 35, or I can think about that 65-year-old and do him a favor. It's not perfect, but it's the only game in town.
我马上就55岁了。但是很久之前我就明白了一个道理，那就是等我65岁的时候，我就会希望自己还是55岁的样子。所以今年我既可以怀念自己45岁或者35岁的时光，也可以想想自己65岁的时候是什么样，然后给65岁的自己一个人情。虽然还不完美，但也没别的能挑。
我马上就55岁了。但是很久之前我就明白了一个道理，那就是等我65岁的时候，我就会希望自己还是55岁的样子。所以今年我既可以怀念自己45岁或者35岁的时光，也可以想想自己65岁的时候是什么样，然后给65岁的自己一个人情。虽然还不完美，但也没别的能挑。
Affectionate_Item_51
Comparing their lifestyle to other 30-somethings
拿自己的生活方式和别的三十多岁的人相比较。
Comparing their lifestyle to other 30-somethings
拿自己的生活方式和别的三十多岁的人相比较。
ThunderBobMajerle
This is a good one. Your peer’s success can seem perfect from afar and make you feel inadequate.
这句话说得很好。你的同龄人的成功，从远处看可能很完美，可能会让你觉得不平等。
This is a good one. Your peer’s success can seem perfect from afar and make you feel inadequate.
这句话说得很好。你的同龄人的成功，从远处看可能很完美，可能会让你觉得不平等。
But if you sit down and talk with them you will learn all sorts of shortcomings and difficulties in their life that will make you appreciate something about yourself and your situation.
但是如果你坐下来和他们谈谈，你就会明白他们人生中的那些缺点和困难，这会让你对自己和自己的状态心怀感激。
但是如果你坐下来和他们谈谈，你就会明白他们人生中的那些缺点和困难，这会让你对自己和自己的状态心怀感激。
In other words we all just out here tryna function
换句话说，我们都在挣扎着当个正常人。
换句话说，我们都在挣扎着当个正常人。
Mission_Hurry9191
“We often compare our everyday to everybody else’s highlight reel.”
“我们经常”
“We often compare our everyday to everybody else’s highlight reel.”
“我们经常”
chemical_sunset
I’ve said before that by our 30s, most people have faced some sort of tragedy or severe hardship in their lives. If they don’t, they’re very lucky. It’s really important to appreciate the good but also acknowledge that a certain amount of bad is inherent to being human. Our attitude is often easier to change than the situation.
我之前说过，等到三十多岁的时候，我们绝大多数都会在生活中经历某种悲剧或者严重的困难。如果有人还没有的话，那么他们就非常幸运了。要感激生活中的好事，同时也要承认，作为一个人类，遇见一定程度的坏事是很自然的。比起客观情况来说，我们的态度确实是更容易改变的。
I’ve said before that by our 30s, most people have faced some sort of tragedy or severe hardship in their lives. If they don’t, they’re very lucky. It’s really important to appreciate the good but also acknowledge that a certain amount of bad is inherent to being human. Our attitude is often easier to change than the situation.
我之前说过，等到三十多岁的时候，我们绝大多数都会在生活中经历某种悲剧或者严重的困难。如果有人还没有的话，那么他们就非常幸运了。要感激生活中的好事，同时也要承认，作为一个人类，遇见一定程度的坏事是很自然的。比起客观情况来说，我们的态度确实是更容易改变的。
spong3
In my 20s our playing field felt a little more even. In my 30s I’m really seeing how much of a head start my peers whose family had money really got. Their parents paid for their education, gifted their kids generous down payments for houses, and some have inherited things like houses and farms and businesses that they’re now managing “on the side”. Meanwhile I’m resuming my student loan payments next month . But the truth is I’m doing OK!
20多岁的时候，我们的差距还没有那么大。等到我30多岁的时候，我才真正发现那些家里有钱的同龄人们究竟站在多么领先的起跑线上。他们的家长可以承担他们的学费，可以给他们的孩子买房时拿出慷慨的收腹，并且有些人还有继承的遗产，比如房子，农场和企业等等可以让他们“副业”打理的事情。与此同时，我还在还下个月的学生贷。但事实是我过得还不错！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
In my 20s our playing field felt a little more even. In my 30s I’m really seeing how much of a head start my peers whose family had money really got. Their parents paid for their education, gifted their kids generous down payments for houses, and some have inherited things like houses and farms and businesses that they’re now managing “on the side”. Meanwhile I’m resuming my student loan payments next month . But the truth is I’m doing OK!
20多岁的时候，我们的差距还没有那么大。等到我30多岁的时候，我才真正发现那些家里有钱的同龄人们究竟站在多么领先的起跑线上。他们的家长可以承担他们的学费，可以给他们的孩子买房时拿出慷慨的收腹，并且有些人还有继承的遗产，比如房子，农场和企业等等可以让他们“副业”打理的事情。与此同时，我还在还下个月的学生贷。但事实是我过得还不错！
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Mans_Got_Cheaks
Thinking they are too old. Never too late to switch career paths or look for a new relationship or start taking care of your health.
觉得自己年纪太大了。不论是换个职业，还是开始新的关系，还是开始关注你自己的身体健康，现在都永远不算太迟。
Thinking they are too old. Never too late to switch career paths or look for a new relationship or start taking care of your health.
觉得自己年纪太大了。不论是换个职业，还是开始新的关系，还是开始关注你自己的身体健康，现在都永远不算太迟。
twooit
THIS. 38 years old and at 36 I changed careers. Ended up with a substantial salary increase, went from a high stress work environment to a borderline 0 stress work environment, have amazing coworkers, enjoy going to work and have more time off. Best of all was my pension and years of service went with me.
太对了。我今年38岁，在36岁那年我换了个工作。结果我的薪酬得到了显著的提升，从压力极高的工作环境变成了几乎毫无压力的工作环境，我的同事都特别好，我很享受去工作这件事，并且我的闲暇时间也变长了。而且我的养老金和工作时间都跟着我一起转了过去。
THIS. 38 years old and at 36 I changed careers. Ended up with a substantial salary increase, went from a high stress work environment to a borderline 0 stress work environment, have amazing coworkers, enjoy going to work and have more time off. Best of all was my pension and years of service went with me.
太对了。我今年38岁，在36岁那年我换了个工作。结果我的薪酬得到了显著的提升，从压力极高的工作环境变成了几乎毫无压力的工作环境，我的同事都特别好，我很享受去工作这件事，并且我的闲暇时间也变长了。而且我的养老金和工作时间都跟着我一起转了过去。
Everyone’s life is completely unique. Doesn’t matter if you’re 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, etc. It’s never too late to change your life for the better.
每个人的生命都是完全独一无二的。这和你今年20岁，30岁，40岁，50岁，60岁还是70岁都没关系。想要让你的生活向更好的方向改变，那么什么时候都不迟。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
每个人的生命都是完全独一无二的。这和你今年20岁，30岁，40岁，50岁，60岁还是70岁都没关系。想要让你的生活向更好的方向改变，那么什么时候都不迟。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
The biggest piece of advice I can give a younger person is don’t try to change everything at once. You’ll end up overwhelmed and lose motivation. Change is a slow and gradual thing. Pin point what makes you least happy and change that first, then move on to the next. Don’t focus on the big picture. Focus on your next few steps. Before you know it you’ll have walked miles.
我能给年轻人的最重要的建议，就是别一下子去尝试所有东西。你会被水淹没，不知所措，从而失去动力。改变是一个缓慢的、渐进的过程。把让你最不开心的那件事找出来，然后先改变这件事，然后再去改变下一件事。别总是盯着大方向，要盯着你接下来的几步看。这样在你回过神来之前，你就已经走了很远了。
我能给年轻人的最重要的建议，就是别一下子去尝试所有东西。你会被水淹没，不知所措，从而失去动力。改变是一个缓慢的、渐进的过程。把让你最不开心的那件事找出来，然后先改变这件事，然后再去改变下一件事。别总是盯着大方向，要盯着你接下来的几步看。这样在你回过神来之前，你就已经走了很远了。
sparkplug86
Left a miserable 16 year job at 35; been promoted twice in less than two years. Neve been happier
35岁那年，放弃了一份干了16年的恶心人的工作。不到两年之内晋升了两次。从来没这么开心过。
Left a miserable 16 year job at 35; been promoted twice in less than two years. Neve been happier
35岁那年，放弃了一份干了16年的恶心人的工作。不到两年之内晋升了两次。从来没这么开心过。
jcho430
Taking care of your health is . Get into shape be healthy and getting your shit together. Agreed
最重要的就是照顾好你的健康。保持好身材，身体健康，照顾好自己。同意
Taking care of your health is . Get into shape be healthy and getting your shit together. Agreed
最重要的就是照顾好你的健康。保持好身材，身体健康，照顾好自己。同意
af1293
I’ll be 30 at the end of this year. I just started taking courses at my local community college to get into a two year program. Best case scenario I’ll be done with everything and able to start my career by 32 and that’s absolute best case scenario. Probably be closer to 33 or 34. I feel behind in life but all I can do now is keep working towards my goals and they’ll be done in no time.
今年年底我就要30岁了。我刚开始在这里的社区大学上课，准备学一个两年的项目。最好的情况就是我能妥善处理好一切，然后在32岁那年开始我的新职业，这绝对就是最好的情况了。可能要到33/34岁才行。虽然我感觉在人生的跑道上落后了，但是我现在能做的就只有继续向我的目标努力，目标马上就会实现的。
I’ll be 30 at the end of this year. I just started taking courses at my local community college to get into a two year program. Best case scenario I’ll be done with everything and able to start my career by 32 and that’s absolute best case scenario. Probably be closer to 33 or 34. I feel behind in life but all I can do now is keep working towards my goals and they’ll be done in no time.
今年年底我就要30岁了。我刚开始在这里的社区大学上课，准备学一个两年的项目。最好的情况就是我能妥善处理好一切，然后在32岁那年开始我的新职业，这绝对就是最好的情况了。可能要到33/34岁才行。虽然我感觉在人生的跑道上落后了，但是我现在能做的就只有继续向我的目标努力，目标马上就会实现的。
dba1990
Guaranteed the 30YOs who think they’re “too old” or it’s “too late” are the ones scouring Facebook/Instagram and seeing how their high school or college classmates are ‘more successful than they are’ (e.g. marriage with the kids).
我敢保证，那些觉得自己“年纪太大了”或者“太晚了”的三十多岁的人们，就是那些刷Facebook和Instagram，然后看见他们的高中或大学同学都“比自己还成功”的人（比如结婚了还有孩子）。
Guaranteed the 30YOs who think they’re “too old” or it’s “too late” are the ones scouring Facebook/Instagram and seeing how their high school or college classmates are ‘more successful than they are’ (e.g. marriage with the kids).
我敢保证，那些觉得自己“年纪太大了”或者“太晚了”的三十多岁的人们，就是那些刷Facebook和Instagram，然后看见他们的高中或大学同学都“比自己还成功”的人（比如结婚了还有孩子）。
Reverend_Sid
100% this... Money isn't as important as fun, memories, experience, enjoyment and quality of life.
太对了……金钱并不一定有快乐、记忆、经历、体验和生活质量更重要。
100% this... Money isn't as important as fun, memories, experience, enjoyment and quality of life.
太对了……金钱并不一定有快乐、记忆、经历、体验和生活质量更重要。
I'd rather take a pay cut or work less hours than work my soul to the ground so I can retire at 70.
我宁愿少挣点钱，或者少工作几个小时，也不愿意为了70岁退休而把自己累死。
我宁愿少挣点钱，或者少工作几个小时，也不愿意为了70岁退休而把自己累死。
RudePCsb
That is all good and all but many people are barely getting by. I'm sure many people would take a hard job that pays 60k or more, depending where they live, and make enough money to not worry about paying their bills on time
话说的都没毛病，但是很多人其实连日子都快过不下去了。我很确定很多人会乐意为了6万美元以上的年薪而找个很难干的工作的，取决于他们住在哪，并且挣足够多的钱，好让他们以后不用再担心账单。
That is all good and all but many people are barely getting by. I'm sure many people would take a hard job that pays 60k or more, depending where they live, and make enough money to not worry about paying their bills on time
话说的都没毛病，但是很多人其实连日子都快过不下去了。我很确定很多人会乐意为了6万美元以上的年薪而找个很难干的工作的，取决于他们住在哪，并且挣足够多的钱，好让他们以后不用再担心账单。
DeathSpiral321
Not exercising enough and eating a crappy diet. You can't get away with those things anymore like you did in your 20's.
不好好锻炼身体，以及糟糕的饮食。到了这个年纪，你的身体就不能再像20多岁那样恢复了。
Not exercising enough and eating a crappy diet. You can't get away with those things anymore like you did in your 20's.
不好好锻炼身体，以及糟糕的饮食。到了这个年纪，你的身体就不能再像20多岁那样恢复了。
Misdirected_Colors
My doc told me at the end of last year that I'm not 16 anymore and now is the time in my life where I get to decide whether I want to see my daughters grow up or whether I wanna die of a heart attack in my 50s. Shit cut deep but I got the message lol.
我的医生去年年底跟我说，我今年已经不再是16岁的小伙子了，所以现在是时候做出决定了，我到底是想看着女儿长大，还是想在五十多岁的时候死于心脏病。这句话很伤人，但是我懂其中的道理了。
My doc told me at the end of last year that I'm not 16 anymore and now is the time in my life where I get to decide whether I want to see my daughters grow up or whether I wanna die of a heart attack in my 50s. Shit cut deep but I got the message lol.
我的医生去年年底跟我说，我今年已经不再是16岁的小伙子了，所以现在是时候做出决定了，我到底是想看着女儿长大，还是想在五十多岁的时候死于心脏病。这句话很伤人，但是我懂其中的道理了。
Dropped 40 pounds since January and might be in the best shape of my life tbh
自从今年一月以来我减了40磅，说实话现在的我可能是这辈子身材最好的时候。
自从今年一月以来我减了40磅，说实话现在的我可能是这辈子身材最好的时候。
inkshamechay
I have a coworker who is 50 and says his body is “packing up”. My grandfather is 86 and goes to the gym every day and can do 30 good push-ups easy.
我有个同事今年五十岁，他说自己的身体已经“上岁数了”。但我自己的爷爷今年86岁，还是每天去健身房，并且能轻轻松松做三十个俯卧撑。
I have a coworker who is 50 and says his body is “packing up”. My grandfather is 86 and goes to the gym every day and can do 30 good push-ups easy.
我有个同事今年五十岁，他说自己的身体已经“上岁数了”。但我自己的爷爷今年86岁，还是每天去健身房，并且能轻轻松松做三十个俯卧撑。
Mars101
I needed this thread so much today. Go live life fellow 30ers. Be kind, exercise, never settle and do what is right for you.
我今天真的太需要这个帖子了。好好地去活自己的人生吧，亲爱的三十岁朋友们。当个好人，锻炼身体，永远不要妥协，做你认为正确的事
I needed this thread so much today. Go live life fellow 30ers. Be kind, exercise, never settle and do what is right for you.
我今天真的太需要这个帖子了。好好地去活自己的人生吧，亲爱的三十岁朋友们。当个好人，锻炼身体，永远不要妥协，做你认为正确的事
MrsKetchup
Thinking it's too late to do something. "I don't have any credit built", "I don't have any retirement savings", and get disheartened from trying. The best time was yesterday, the next best time is today.
觉得自己现在再做什么事情就太晚了。“我没有信誉”，“我没有退休金”，然后根本连试一试的勇气都没有。其实最好的机会就是昨天，第二好的机会就是今天。
Thinking it's too late to do something. "I don't have any credit built", "I don't have any retirement savings", and get disheartened from trying. The best time was yesterday, the next best time is today.
觉得自己现在再做什么事情就太晚了。“我没有信誉”，“我没有退休金”，然后根本连试一试的勇气都没有。其实最好的机会就是昨天，第二好的机会就是今天。
LeoMarius
I see so many people who think “work until I die” is a retirement plan. You can’t and won’t. Your boss and your simply won’t let you. Ageism will get you laid off, and your body will break down on you.
我看见有很多人觉得“工作到死”是一种退休方案。你是做不到的，也不能这么做。你的老板就不会让你这么干。逐渐增长的岁数会让你被辞退，并且你的身体也会让你撑不下去。
I see so many people who think “work until I die” is a retirement plan. You can’t and won’t. Your boss and your simply won’t let you. Ageism will get you laid off, and your body will break down on you.
我看见有很多人觉得“工作到死”是一种退休方案。你是做不到的，也不能这么做。你的老板就不会让你这么干。逐渐增长的岁数会让你被辞退，并且你的身体也会让你撑不下去。
Put even a small amount regularly away now, and you’ll have something when you can’t or don’t want to work any more.
从今天开始，拿出最小的一部分钱存起来，等到你以后不想工作或者不能工作的时候，你起码还有东西可用。
从今天开始，拿出最小的一部分钱存起来，等到你以后不想工作或者不能工作的时候，你起码还有东西可用。
howboutthat101
I think the problem is wages are so low, many people dont even have a little bit to put away. Cant put away what yyou dont have!
我觉得问题在于工资太低了，很多人甚至连可以存起来的那点钱都没有。你不能把空气存起来呀！
I think the problem is wages are so low, many people dont even have a little bit to put away. Cant put away what yyou dont have!
我觉得问题在于工资太低了，很多人甚至连可以存起来的那点钱都没有。你不能把空气存起来呀！
bandwidthpirate
About a decade ago, my grandfather tried to impart some wisdom on me. He told me that when I get paid, pay myself 10% first. After that, only a third of my total income should go towards my rent. I laughed at him because I was 18, working fast food for about 300/week, and couldn't afford anything as it was. The times change, and the economy isn't what it used to be.
大概十年前，我爷爷想教给我一些人生智慧。他跟我说等到我拿到工资的时候，先存10%。然后房租只应该占三分之一的收入。我当时就笑了，因为我那时18岁，在快餐店工作，一星期挣300美元，什么都买不起。时代变了，经济也不如以前了。
About a decade ago, my grandfather tried to impart some wisdom on me. He told me that when I get paid, pay myself 10% first. After that, only a third of my total income should go towards my rent. I laughed at him because I was 18, working fast food for about 300/week, and couldn't afford anything as it was. The times change, and the economy isn't what it used to be.
大概十年前，我爷爷想教给我一些人生智慧。他跟我说等到我拿到工资的时候，先存10%。然后房租只应该占三分之一的收入。我当时就笑了，因为我那时18岁，在快餐店工作，一星期挣300美元，什么都买不起。时代变了，经济也不如以前了。
hyperside89
To summarize my points below: Your 30s is when you are really in the thick of "adulting". It's easy to loose focus on what is really important to you among all the demands and responsibilities.
总结一下我下面的观点：你三十多岁的时候正是“成年”的关键期。你很容易迷失在各种要求和责任之中，忘记真正对你来说重要的事情是什么。
To summarize my points below: Your 30s is when you are really in the thick of "adulting". It's easy to loose focus on what is really important to you among all the demands and responsibilities.
总结一下我下面的观点：你三十多岁的时候正是“成年”的关键期。你很容易迷失在各种要求和责任之中，忘记真正对你来说重要的事情是什么。
Not Fostering Friendships: As you enter your 30s, maintaining and nurturing friendships becomes more challenging. It's a time when connections can fade, and forming new ones becomes harder. It's very important to invest effort in the friendships you currently have. Edit: A few people have commented about what to do when people don't reciprocate? My advise - keep trying! Everyone is under water in their 30's, they likely won't be able to make every attempt at outreach you make. But over time as things become less hectic they will remember you kept trying (without guilt) and will appreciate it and come back to you. But toxic people, yeah cut those out!
不注重友谊：等到你三十多岁的时候，维持和呵护友谊会变得更加困难。关系会逐渐变淡，而新的友谊会变得越来越难。所以往你现有的关系里投入精力是很重要的。编辑：有几个人问我如果对方不回应的话该怎么办，我的建议是：继续努力！每个三十多岁的人都有自己的水深火热，他们可能没办法竭尽全力来回应你的关心。但是等到日子没那么难过的时候，他们会想起你之前的努力（并且不会有自责感），而且会感激这份努力，回来找你的。但是那些恶心的人，我的建议是赶紧切割！
不注重友谊：等到你三十多岁的时候，维持和呵护友谊会变得更加困难。关系会逐渐变淡，而新的友谊会变得越来越难。所以往你现有的关系里投入精力是很重要的。编辑：有几个人问我如果对方不回应的话该怎么办，我的建议是：继续努力！每个三十多岁的人都有自己的水深火热，他们可能没办法竭尽全力来回应你的关心。但是等到日子没那么难过的时候，他们会想起你之前的努力（并且不会有自责感），而且会感激这份努力，回来找你的。但是那些恶心的人，我的建议是赶紧切割！
Not Nurturing Your Romantic Relationship: Responsibilities increase in your 30s like careers, parenthood, and caregiving for aging parents. It's common for the most crucial relationship – your romantic partnership – to be inadvertently neglected. Avoid taking your partner for granted, assuming they'll always be around, or treating them as an outlet for your worst moments.
不关心你的浪漫关系：随着奔三，你的责任会变得越来越多，比如职业生涯、当爹当妈，以及为年级越来越大的父母提供关怀。所以对于最关键的关系——也就是你的另一半——来说，被下意识地忽视是一件很正常的事。不要拿你的伴侣当做理所应当的存在，不要觉得他们永远会在你身边，或者拿他们当你的情绪垃圾桶。
不关心你的浪漫关系：随着奔三，你的责任会变得越来越多，比如职业生涯、当爹当妈，以及为年级越来越大的父母提供关怀。所以对于最关键的关系——也就是你的另一半——来说，被下意识地忽视是一件很正常的事。不要拿你的伴侣当做理所应当的存在，不要觉得他们永远会在你身边，或者拿他们当你的情绪垃圾桶。
Not Preserving Your Identity: Similar to the previous points, your 30s come with a whirlwind of conflicting priorities that can lead you to lose touch with your identity. It's easy to forget what truly brings you joy and satisfaction. Maintain a hobby that gives your life purpose and regularly reflect on whether your job still fulfills your needs in terms of purpose, financial stability, and overall satisfaction.
不保护你的自我认同：和之前的两点一样，你的三十多岁壶给你带来大量互相冲突的优先事项，从而让你失去自己的自我认同。你很容易就会忘掉什么才能给你带来真正的快乐和满足。所以你应该保持一个能够给你人生追求的爱好，并且定期思考你的工作是否仍然能满足你在人生目标、财产稳定和总体满足感上的需求。
不保护你的自我认同：和之前的两点一样，你的三十多岁壶给你带来大量互相冲突的优先事项，从而让你失去自己的自我认同。你很容易就会忘掉什么才能给你带来真正的快乐和满足。所以你应该保持一个能够给你人生追求的爱好，并且定期思考你的工作是否仍然能满足你在人生目标、财产稳定和总体满足感上的需求。
Makasaurus
I'm 33 and in the process of rediscovering who I am, what I like doing beyond just 'filling in time' and how I like to present myself. It's scary to be caught off guard by the realisation that you don't know you and just as scary trying to start down a path to change that.
我今年33岁，还在重新发现自己是谁、想起除了“打发时间”之外我喜欢做什么，以及我喜欢以怎样的方式呈现自己的过程中。忽然想起来不认识自己是一件很可怕的事，而开始努力改变这种现状也同样吓人。
I'm 33 and in the process of rediscovering who I am, what I like doing beyond just 'filling in time' and how I like to present myself. It's scary to be caught off guard by the realisation that you don't know you and just as scary trying to start down a path to change that.
我今年33岁，还在重新发现自己是谁、想起除了“打发时间”之外我喜欢做什么，以及我喜欢以怎样的方式呈现自己的过程中。忽然想起来不认识自己是一件很可怕的事，而开始努力改变这种现状也同样吓人。
I'm happy with my job and my role as a mother. But as an individual... I just feel like a crusty 90's kid, wearing 00's fashion and focusing on everyone else's needs because it's hard to find a direction for me that will 'spark joy'. I want my wonder and whimsy back!
我对于自己的工作和自己所扮演的母亲的角色非常满意，但是作为一个个人……我觉得自己就像是个90后的孩子，穿着00后的时尚服饰，却在意着别人的需求，因为我找不到一个能让我特别开心的方向。我真希望自己的惊讶和怪念头能回来！
我对于自己的工作和自己所扮演的母亲的角色非常满意，但是作为一个个人……我觉得自己就像是个90后的孩子，穿着00后的时尚服饰，却在意着别人的需求，因为我找不到一个能让我特别开心的方向。我真希望自己的惊讶和怪念头能回来！
MeteorKing
Other than the mom bit (guy, no kids), I could have written this exact thing. Wild to see. Still no idea what's ahead of me, but I hope at least one of us figures it out.
除了当妈那部分（男的，没孩子）之外，我感觉自己也能写出一样的东西。我还不知道等待我的是什么，但我希望至少我们中有一个人能弄明白。
Other than the mom bit (guy, no kids), I could have written this exact thing. Wild to see. Still no idea what's ahead of me, but I hope at least one of us figures it out.
除了当妈那部分（男的，没孩子）之外，我感觉自己也能写出一样的东西。我还不知道等待我的是什么，但我希望至少我们中有一个人能弄明白。
MeteorKing
Remember when the future looked bright?
引用：“还记得未来一片光明的那种感觉吗？”
Remember when the future looked bright?
引用：“还记得未来一片光明的那种感觉吗？”
Not to be so doomer boomer, but no, not really. Was 11 when WTC got hit. Was 18 when housing market got hit. Was 20 when every job under the sun started requiring a bachelors. Was 26 when we made a "billionaire" conman our president. Was 30 when I realized my "prestigious" career is a lie built on arbitrary nonsense. 33 now and realizing the only true method for growth in my field is by effectively leaving it entirely.
虽然不是很想当个玉玉小子，但我真的不记得了。世贸大厦被飞机撞那年我11岁。房地产市场崩盘那年我18岁。太阳底下的每个岗位都需要本科学位的时候我20岁。让一个“亿万富翁”骗子当上总统那年我26岁。意识到我“尊贵”的职业生涯只不过是建立在一个专断的谎言上的时候我30岁。今年我33了，我感觉再在我这个领域提高下去的唯一方法就是彻底离开。
虽然不是很想当个玉玉小子，但我真的不记得了。世贸大厦被飞机撞那年我11岁。房地产市场崩盘那年我18岁。太阳底下的每个岗位都需要本科学位的时候我20岁。让一个“亿万富翁”骗子当上总统那年我26岁。意识到我“尊贵”的职业生涯只不过是建立在一个专断的谎言上的时候我30岁。今年我33了，我感觉再在我这个领域提高下去的唯一方法就是彻底离开。
When I was young I wanted to be outside and nurse animals back to health. That don't pay shit, so instead I sit in an air conditioned room 200 feet above a deteriorating metropolitan city and write contracts for rich people. I'm praised by everyone around me for providing skilled services to "my" community and moving society along. I can't stop thinking about how half my work directly contributes to a financial climate that makes it increasingly difficult to afford a house for myself.
年轻的时候，我想要去外面照顾动物。挣不着钱，所以我走进了一个条件不断恶化的大都会，坐进了200英尺高的空调房，给有钱人写合同。身边的所有人都夸我，说我为“我”的社区提供了有价值的专业服务，并且在推动着社会前进。但我实在控制不住思考自己的一切所作所为实际上都是在直接导致如今的金融气候，它让我越来越买不起自己的房子。
年轻的时候，我想要去外面照顾动物。挣不着钱，所以我走进了一个条件不断恶化的大都会，坐进了200英尺高的空调房，给有钱人写合同。身边的所有人都夸我，说我为“我”的社区提供了有价值的专业服务，并且在推动着社会前进。但我实在控制不住思考自己的一切所作所为实际上都是在直接导致如今的金融气候，它让我越来越买不起自己的房子。
You always hear about detached CEOs surrounded by yes men. I feel like every step of my life has been specifically catered to literally becoming that man. Everything is wrong, but the alternatives seem, if not worse, vastly less stable.
你们总是听说那种被一群捧臭脚的人包围的、脱离现实的CEO的故事。我感觉自己人生的每一步，就是专门为了让自己成为那样的人而迈出去的。每一步都是错的，但其它选项看起来，就算没那么糟，也远远没那么稳定。
你们总是听说那种被一群捧臭脚的人包围的、脱离现实的CEO的故事。我感觉自己人生的每一步，就是专门为了让自己成为那样的人而迈出去的。每一步都是错的，但其它选项看起来，就算没那么糟，也远远没那么稳定。
silver2104
Is it sometimes tiresome when u always have to be the one who try to keep the friendship going ? I tend to be one who always active to organize activities for different groups of friend, but now many friends of mine are putting less and less efforts.
当你是唯一的那个不断努力维持友谊的人的时候，会不会偶尔觉得有点累？我一直都是那个主动为不同的朋友圈子组织活动的人，但现在我的很多朋友投入的精力变得越来越少了。
Is it sometimes tiresome when u always have to be the one who try to keep the friendship going ? I tend to be one who always active to organize activities for different groups of friend, but now many friends of mine are putting less and less efforts.
当你是唯一的那个不断努力维持友谊的人的时候，会不会偶尔觉得有点累？我一直都是那个主动为不同的朋友圈子组织活动的人，但现在我的很多朋友投入的精力变得越来越少了。
FunStorm6487
Settling for a spouse
凑合找个伴
Settling for a spouse
凑合找个伴
WhatFreshHellIsThiss
Also, see: having kids for the sake of having kids.
还有：为了生孩子而生孩子。
Also, see: having kids for the sake of having kids.
还有：为了生孩子而生孩子。
PumpkinPieIsGreat
There's so much pressure from family, too. If you love your kid/niece/cousin/grandkid or whatever don't pressure them into a marriage just because they seem like a "nice guy" or because you want them to have kids.
而且来自家庭的压力也很大。如果你爱自己的孩子、外甥、表亲、孙子或者其他后背，请不要仅仅因为他们看起来“是个好人”或者你希望他们有孩子，就给他们结婚的压力。
There's so much pressure from family, too. If you love your kid/niece/cousin/grandkid or whatever don't pressure them into a marriage just because they seem like a "nice guy" or because you want them to have kids.
而且来自家庭的压力也很大。如果你爱自己的孩子、外甥、表亲、孙子或者其他后背，请不要仅仅因为他们看起来“是个好人”或者你希望他们有孩子，就给他们结婚的压力。
hockeynoticehockey
Biggest mistake I made in my 30's was not enjoying them more.
我三十多岁的时候最大的错误就是没有享受自己的生活。
Biggest mistake I made in my 30's was not enjoying them more.
我三十多岁的时候最大的错误就是没有享受自己的生活。
Young enough to party, still play some sports, and perfectly in place in any bar. You have energy, you have a circle of friends (that will get smaller, trust me).
还足够年轻，可以开趴，还能去参加体育运动，并且去什么酒吧都没问题。你还有能量，你还有一群朋友（虽然会变得越来越少，相信我）
还足够年轻，可以开趴，还能去参加体育运动，并且去什么酒吧都没问题。你还有能量，你还有一群朋友（虽然会变得越来越少，相信我）
Try to carpe a diem every once in a while, the decade passes VERY quickly.
偶尔试着享受当下吧，这十年会过得很快的。
偶尔试着享受当下吧，这十年会过得很快的。
CampusTour
Panicing.
害怕。
Panicing.
害怕。
You do not need to have a great career, partner, 4 bedroom house, and baby on the way just because your 20s are over. Relax.
你不需要仅仅因为自己已经不再是二十多岁的小伙子了，就一定得拥有出色的职业、伴侣、四个卧室的大豪斯和一个马上降生的孩子。
你不需要仅仅因为自己已经不再是二十多岁的小伙子了，就一定得拥有出色的职业、伴侣、四个卧室的大豪斯和一个马上降生的孩子。
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