QA话题：你见过游客做的最蠢的事是什么？
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不过，这次旅行中确实有一名美国女士，她来到非洲时真的是一无所知。当我们遇到一群河马时，她的第一个问题就是 "河马在哪里产卵？"
呃... 河马是哺乳动物，女士。它们不下蛋。
有一次，我们来到一片无比美丽的荒凉地带，那里有许多古老的猴面包树，位于壮观的盐盘或平地边缘。这些树被称为 "贝恩斯猴面包树"，取自著名自然学家托马斯-贝恩斯，他在1862 年绘制了这些树的画。这些壮观的树木树龄长达 4000 年，多年来几乎没有什么变化。当我和导游坐在一起一边喝着威士忌一边欣赏这些美景时，我不禁想到自己是多么幸运，能够看到这个遥远的奇迹...
This woman sat there saying “These trees are ugly. This is all so ugly.”
The guide was getting a bit impatient with her, and as we drove on the next day we came across elephant dung in the road…it is literally everywhere because elephants are so plentiful in Botswana.
The guide pointed at it and then said, offhandedly, “The elephants came by here pretty recently, we should see them later.”
The woman looked at the dung wide eyed and said, “How long ago did they pass by?”
The guide had had it by then.
It’s pretty obvious that wet looking dung is recent dung and dry dung is old dung, but instead of calmly explaining this to her, he jumped out of the jeep and bent over the dung, sniffed it, and then stuck a finger in it and cleverly licked his middle (non-dung covered) finger, “I think they came by 23 minutes ago. They are close.”
这名女士坐在那里说："这些树太丑了。所有都太丑了"
导游对她有点不耐烦了，第二天我们开车在路上遇到了大象的粪便......因为大象在博茨瓦纳非常多，所以象粪简直随处可见。
导游指了指那堆粪便，然后随口就说："大象最近才来过这里，我们一会儿应该能看到它们。"
女士睁大眼睛看着那堆粪便说："他们是多久之前经过的？"
导游当时已经受够了。
很明显，湿的粪便是最近的粪便，而干的粪便则是很久的粪便，但他并没有平静地向她解释，而是跳下吉普车，弯腰在粪便上闻了闻，然后把一根手指伸进粪便里，巧妙地舔了舔自己的中指（没有沾到粪便），"我想它们23分钟前就来过了，很近。”
The woman was amazed at this ancient tracking knowledge. “How can you know this..to the last minute?”
“Fresh dung tastes like cinnamon,” he replied.
This woman jumped out of the truck, stuck HER finger in the dung, and licked it. We were amazed.
“I can’t taste cinnamon?”
The guide silently got back into the truck, shaking his head. We were all clapping.
The elephants were indeed pretty close. The woman never mentioned this moment again.
这名女士对这种古老的追踪知识感到惊讶。"你怎么能知道得.. 这么精确的？"
"新鲜的粪便尝起来像肉桂，"他回答道。
女士跳下车，把她的手指伸进粪便里，舔了舔。我们都惊呆了。
"我怎么没尝到肉桂的味道？"
导游默默地回到车上，摇了摇头。我们都在鼓掌。
大象确实离得很近。这名女士再也没有提起过这一刻。
Thomas Edward Friedrich
As a young man I was a bush pilot in Africa. I lived in tents in safari camps, flew tourists and hunters around, dined with them every day, and hung out with them. We used to analyze the different nationalities of tourists, and everyone joked that it was the Germans were most likely to get eaten. They were adventurers, didn’t like being coddled as tourists, and would say things like, “I vant to see zee real Ah-frika.”
One of the camps I flew in and out of was particularly wild and scary. It was on the edge of the Okavango Delta, where I was based in Botswana. This meeting of bush and swamp was an active game zone - crocs, hippos, etc. And… hyenas, the creepiest animals in Africa. They made an eerie sound at night. “whoooo whoop!” Hyenas are vicious scavengers and opportunists. They are insanely persistent. They won’t give up.
Two German tourist dudes turned up at that camp, and unbeknownst to the camp manager, they brought a pup-tent with them. Unsatisfied with the safety of the camp, they wanted to experience ‘the real Africa.’ So, after dinner then went out in the bush, well away from the camp, pitched their pup tent, got in their sleeping bags, and went to sleep. Hyenas found them,...
【回答】
年轻的时候，我在非洲当过丛林飞行员。我住在野营地的帐篷里，带着游客和猎人飞来飞去，每天和他们一起吃饭，一起出去玩。我们经常分析不同国籍的游客，大家都开玩笑说，德国人最容易被吃掉。他们是冒险家，不喜欢被当做游客来呵护，他们会说“我想看看真正的非洲"。
在我飞进飞出的营地中，有一个特别狂野可怕。它位于奥卡万戈三角洲的边缘，我当时就驻扎在博茨瓦纳。丛林和沼泽的交汇处是活跃的区域——有鳄鱼、河马等。还有... 鬣狗，非洲最令人毛骨悚然的动物。它们在夜里发出阴森恐怖的声音"呜呜呜！"鬣狗是凶残的食腐动物，也是机会主义者，它们非常执着，不会放弃。
两个德国游客来到营地，营地经理不知道他们还带了一个小帐篷。他们对营地的安全性不满意，想体验一下 "真正的非洲"。于是，晚饭后，他们来到远离营地的灌木丛中，支起小帐篷，套上睡袋，沉沉睡去。然后鬣狗发现了他们...
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
As a young man I was a bush pilot in Africa. I lived in tents in safari camps, flew tourists and hunters around, dined with them every day, and hung out with them. We used to analyze the different nationalities of tourists, and everyone joked that it was the Germans were most likely to get eaten. They were adventurers, didn’t like being coddled as tourists, and would say things like, “I vant to see zee real Ah-frika.”
One of the camps I flew in and out of was particularly wild and scary. It was on the edge of the Okavango Delta, where I was based in Botswana. This meeting of bush and swamp was an active game zone - crocs, hippos, etc. And… hyenas, the creepiest animals in Africa. They made an eerie sound at night. “whoooo whoop!” Hyenas are vicious scavengers and opportunists. They are insanely persistent. They won’t give up.
Two German tourist dudes turned up at that camp, and unbeknownst to the camp manager, they brought a pup-tent with them. Unsatisfied with the safety of the camp, they wanted to experience ‘the real Africa.’ So, after dinner then went out in the bush, well away from the camp, pitched their pup tent, got in their sleeping bags, and went to sleep. Hyenas found them,...
【回答】
年轻的时候，我在非洲当过丛林飞行员。我住在野营地的帐篷里，带着游客和猎人飞来飞去，每天和他们一起吃饭，一起出去玩。我们经常分析不同国籍的游客，大家都开玩笑说，德国人最容易被吃掉。他们是冒险家，不喜欢被当做游客来呵护，他们会说“我想看看真正的非洲"。
在我飞进飞出的营地中，有一个特别狂野可怕。它位于奥卡万戈三角洲的边缘，我当时就驻扎在博茨瓦纳。丛林和沼泽的交汇处是活跃的区域——有鳄鱼、河马等。还有... 鬣狗，非洲最令人毛骨悚然的动物。它们在夜里发出阴森恐怖的声音"呜呜呜！"鬣狗是凶残的食腐动物，也是机会主义者，它们非常执着，不会放弃。
两个德国游客来到营地，营地经理不知道他们还带了一个小帐篷。他们对营地的安全性不满意，想体验一下 "真正的非洲"。于是，晚饭后，他们来到远离营地的灌木丛中，支起小帐篷，套上睡袋，沉沉睡去。然后鬣狗发现了他们...
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
G McDonald
I live next to Algonquin park in Canada.
A woman put honey on her toddlers hand and pushed him towards a wild black bear and her cub.
She said she wanted a picture of the cub licking the honey off her kids hand.
Another woman tried to put her kid on the back of an 8′ moose for a picture.
P. S. Moose are more likely to attack than a black bear.
A family got lost because they wandered off the well marked trail.
It took several hours to find them with police dogs. At one point they lit a fire but walked away from it, fortunately some Wardens found it before it spread.
They had one cell phone, but killed the battery listening to Punjabi music.
When they were finally rescued, I asked how they got lost.
The guy said” I got lost here last year, and I wanted to show my friends where.”
【回答】
我住在加拿大阿尔冈昆公园旁边。
一名妇女把蜂蜜涂在蹒跚学步的孩子手上，然后把他推向一只野生黑熊和它的幼崽。
她说她想要一张熊宝宝舔她孩子手上蜂蜜的照片。
还有一名妇女试图把她的孩子放在 8 英尺长的驼鹿背上拍照。
P.S. 驼鹿比黑熊更容易攻击人。
有一家人因为偏离了有标记的小路而迷路了。
警犬花了几个小时才找到他们。他们还点燃了一把火，却走开了，幸好一些管理员在火势蔓延之前发现了。
他们有一部手机，但在听旁遮普音乐时耗光了电池。
当他们最终获救时，我问他们是怎么迷路的。
那人说："我去年在这里迷路了，我想告诉我的朋友们在哪里"。
I live next to Algonquin park in Canada.
A woman put honey on her toddlers hand and pushed him towards a wild black bear and her cub.
She said she wanted a picture of the cub licking the honey off her kids hand.
Another woman tried to put her kid on the back of an 8′ moose for a picture.
P. S. Moose are more likely to attack than a black bear.
A family got lost because they wandered off the well marked trail.
It took several hours to find them with police dogs. At one point they lit a fire but walked away from it, fortunately some Wardens found it before it spread.
They had one cell phone, but killed the battery listening to Punjabi music.
When they were finally rescued, I asked how they got lost.
The guy said” I got lost here last year, and I wanted to show my friends where.”
【回答】
我住在加拿大阿尔冈昆公园旁边。
一名妇女把蜂蜜涂在蹒跚学步的孩子手上，然后把他推向一只野生黑熊和它的幼崽。
她说她想要一张熊宝宝舔她孩子手上蜂蜜的照片。
还有一名妇女试图把她的孩子放在 8 英尺长的驼鹿背上拍照。
P.S. 驼鹿比黑熊更容易攻击人。
有一家人因为偏离了有标记的小路而迷路了。
警犬花了几个小时才找到他们。他们还点燃了一把火，却走开了，幸好一些管理员在火势蔓延之前发现了。
他们有一部手机，但在听旁遮普音乐时耗光了电池。
当他们最终获救时，我问他们是怎么迷路的。
那人说："我去年在这里迷路了，我想告诉我的朋友们在哪里"。
Delta Killo
I was the dumb tourist apparently.
Visiting a Hardrock Cafe in LA for dinner when I heard a lady calling out (screaming) “help, help, he's choking”.
Plenty people around bit they were just watching this guy go slow blue. Being the super hero I am, I jumped up, pulled the guy out of his booth (he was not a small man even by American standards) got him up right, arms around his chest and performed the Heimlich manoeuvre by pumping his lower chest a few times. A largish half chewed chunk of steak flew out of his mouth, bounced off my wrist, and on to the floor, and he started to breath. The man the slid back into his seat and continued eating his meal.
I was appalled, where I come from when someone saves your life you say thanks, maybe even buy them a drink!
After resuming my seat, the waitress came over and told me I had done a good job. She then said something along the lines of that was a brave and selfless act. I was confused, it’s basic first aid when someone is choking. She then explained if you had broken a rib or dropped him he probably would have sued you for damages.
I saw him on the way out standing in the restaurant doorway. I asked him “you alright mate?” He replied with attitude “yeah, what do you want” - I sort of regretted helping the fat fella at that point of the evening.
【回答】
显然，我是那个愚蠢的游客。
在洛杉矶的 Hardrock 咖啡馆用餐时，我听到一位女士在呼喊（尖叫）"救命，救命，他噎住窒息了"。
周围有很多人，他们都在看着这个人脸色慢慢发青。作为超级英雄，我跳了起来，把这家伙从包间里拉了出来（即使按照美国的标准，他也不是个小个子），让他站起来，双臂环抱在胸前，做了海姆立克急救法，在他的下胸按压了几下。一大块嚼了一半的牛排从他嘴里飞了出来，从我的手腕上弹到地板上，他开始呼吸了。那个人滑回座位，继续吃他的饭。
我很震惊，在我老家，如果有人救了你的命，你会说谢谢，甚至可能会请他喝一杯！
回到座位后，女服务员走过来告诉我，我做得很好。然后她说了些什么，大意是说我的行为很勇敢，很无私。我很困惑，这是基本的急救措施，当有人噎住的时候。她接着解释说，如果你打断了他的肋骨或把他摔倒了，他可能会起诉你要求赔偿。
出门时，我看到他站在餐厅门口。我问他 "你还好吗？他态度强硬地回答："没事，你想要什么"——我有点后悔当晚帮助了这个胖子。
I was the dumb tourist apparently.
Visiting a Hardrock Cafe in LA for dinner when I heard a lady calling out (screaming) “help, help, he's choking”.
Plenty people around bit they were just watching this guy go slow blue. Being the super hero I am, I jumped up, pulled the guy out of his booth (he was not a small man even by American standards) got him up right, arms around his chest and performed the Heimlich manoeuvre by pumping his lower chest a few times. A largish half chewed chunk of steak flew out of his mouth, bounced off my wrist, and on to the floor, and he started to breath. The man the slid back into his seat and continued eating his meal.
I was appalled, where I come from when someone saves your life you say thanks, maybe even buy them a drink!
After resuming my seat, the waitress came over and told me I had done a good job. She then said something along the lines of that was a brave and selfless act. I was confused, it’s basic first aid when someone is choking. She then explained if you had broken a rib or dropped him he probably would have sued you for damages.
I saw him on the way out standing in the restaurant doorway. I asked him “you alright mate?” He replied with attitude “yeah, what do you want” - I sort of regretted helping the fat fella at that point of the evening.
【回答】
显然，我是那个愚蠢的游客。
在洛杉矶的 Hardrock 咖啡馆用餐时，我听到一位女士在呼喊（尖叫）"救命，救命，他噎住窒息了"。
周围有很多人，他们都在看着这个人脸色慢慢发青。作为超级英雄，我跳了起来，把这家伙从包间里拉了出来（即使按照美国的标准，他也不是个小个子），让他站起来，双臂环抱在胸前，做了海姆立克急救法，在他的下胸按压了几下。一大块嚼了一半的牛排从他嘴里飞了出来，从我的手腕上弹到地板上，他开始呼吸了。那个人滑回座位，继续吃他的饭。
我很震惊，在我老家，如果有人救了你的命，你会说谢谢，甚至可能会请他喝一杯！
回到座位后，女服务员走过来告诉我，我做得很好。然后她说了些什么，大意是说我的行为很勇敢，很无私。我很困惑，这是基本的急救措施，当有人噎住的时候。她接着解释说，如果你打断了他的肋骨或把他摔倒了，他可能会起诉你要求赔偿。
出门时，我看到他站在餐厅门口。我问他 "你还好吗？他态度强硬地回答："没事，你想要什么"——我有点后悔当晚帮助了这个胖子。
Don Plotz
Niagara Falls, overlooking Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side. Despite clear warnings in multiple languages (and even pictographs) to not climb on the fence, our heroine decided she wanted her friend to take a picture of her on top of one of the stone fence pillars (maybe 2 feet square or less). So she climbs up onto the pillar in her heeled sandals. Her friend takes a picture. Not good enough. She wants a picture with her in midair above the pillar, so she proceeds to jump into the air while her friend takes the picture. It took 3 tries. Finally she climbed down.
My wife, my then 10 year old daughter, and I were sitting in the grass nearby watching this and cringing each time she jumped, fully expecting her to plunge to her death when her foot came down wrong on the uneven wet surface. Fortunately, nothing bad happened in this instance, but they do get mulitple falls per year from just such stupidity. I often wonder if she ever realized later how dumb this really was and how easily she could have died for a vacation picture.
【回答】
尼亚加拉瀑布，俯瞰加拿大一侧的马蹄瀑布。尽管有多种语言（甚至还有象形字）明确警告不要爬上栅栏，但我们的女主角还是决定让她的朋友在栅栏的一根石柱（大概2英尺或更小）顶上给她拍张照片。于是，她穿着高跟凉鞋爬上了石柱。她的朋友拍了一张照片。拍得不够好。她想拍一张她在石柱半空中的照片，于是她在朋友拍照时跳到了半空中。她试了三次。最后，她爬了下来。
我妻子、我当时10岁的女儿和我就坐在附近的草地上看着这一幕，每次她跳下来的时候我都很害怕，完全以为她会因为脚踩在不平的湿滑表面上而摔死。幸运的是，这次没有发生什么意外，但他们每年都会因为这种愚蠢的行为而摔倒好几次。我常常在想，她后来是否会意识到这有多蠢，为了一张旅游照片而丧命。
Niagara Falls, overlooking Horseshoe Falls on the Canadian side. Despite clear warnings in multiple languages (and even pictographs) to not climb on the fence, our heroine decided she wanted her friend to take a picture of her on top of one of the stone fence pillars (maybe 2 feet square or less). So she climbs up onto the pillar in her heeled sandals. Her friend takes a picture. Not good enough. She wants a picture with her in midair above the pillar, so she proceeds to jump into the air while her friend takes the picture. It took 3 tries. Finally she climbed down.
My wife, my then 10 year old daughter, and I were sitting in the grass nearby watching this and cringing each time she jumped, fully expecting her to plunge to her death when her foot came down wrong on the uneven wet surface. Fortunately, nothing bad happened in this instance, but they do get mulitple falls per year from just such stupidity. I often wonder if she ever realized later how dumb this really was and how easily she could have died for a vacation picture.
【回答】
尼亚加拉瀑布，俯瞰加拿大一侧的马蹄瀑布。尽管有多种语言（甚至还有象形字）明确警告不要爬上栅栏，但我们的女主角还是决定让她的朋友在栅栏的一根石柱（大概2英尺或更小）顶上给她拍张照片。于是，她穿着高跟凉鞋爬上了石柱。她的朋友拍了一张照片。拍得不够好。她想拍一张她在石柱半空中的照片，于是她在朋友拍照时跳到了半空中。她试了三次。最后，她爬了下来。
我妻子、我当时10岁的女儿和我就坐在附近的草地上看着这一幕，每次她跳下来的时候我都很害怕，完全以为她会因为脚踩在不平的湿滑表面上而摔死。幸运的是，这次没有发生什么意外，但他们每年都会因为这种愚蠢的行为而摔倒好几次。我常常在想，她后来是否会意识到这有多蠢，为了一张旅游照片而丧命。
David Charles Leithauser
I was driving on a narrow one-way road in the Smokey Mountains when suddenly the traffic stopped. I could not continue. I got out and walked to the head of the line to find out what was up. People were watching a black bear rambling through the underbrush. One tourist got out of his car and went right up to the bear to take a close-up shot of its face. I mean really close, like a few feet. The bear must have been a bit camera-shy, because he/she gave the tourist a good swat on the nose with its paw, claws and all. I doubt that the tourist would try that again.
【回答】
我驾车行驶在烟山中一条狭窄的单行道上，突然车流停止了。我无法继续行驶。下了车，我走到队伍的最前面，想弄清楚发生了什么事。人们正在观看一只黑熊在灌木丛中漫步。一名游客下了车，走到黑熊跟前，对着它的脸拍了一张特写。我的意思是真的很近，就像几英尺那么近。这只熊一定是有点怕上镜，因为它用爪子狠狠地拍了一下那个游客的鼻子。我怀疑这名游客是否还会再试一次。
I was driving on a narrow one-way road in the Smokey Mountains when suddenly the traffic stopped. I could not continue. I got out and walked to the head of the line to find out what was up. People were watching a black bear rambling through the underbrush. One tourist got out of his car and went right up to the bear to take a close-up shot of its face. I mean really close, like a few feet. The bear must have been a bit camera-shy, because he/she gave the tourist a good swat on the nose with its paw, claws and all. I doubt that the tourist would try that again.
【回答】
我驾车行驶在烟山中一条狭窄的单行道上，突然车流停止了。我无法继续行驶。下了车，我走到队伍的最前面，想弄清楚发生了什么事。人们正在观看一只黑熊在灌木丛中漫步。一名游客下了车，走到黑熊跟前，对着它的脸拍了一张特写。我的意思是真的很近，就像几英尺那么近。这只熊一定是有点怕上镜，因为它用爪子狠狠地拍了一下那个游客的鼻子。我怀疑这名游客是否还会再试一次。
Shrlly
I live in Hawai’i. In the winter, the waves can get up to 30 feet. From November-February, signs are posted everywhere about high surf and dangerous rip currents. My best friend is a fantastic swimmer and knows how to deal with big waves because she's been learning to be safe in big surf her whole life. A woman, clearly not local, dove in when it was relatively flat. She saw a set coming and started freaking out. My friend told the woman to stay in the water and swim out deeper to avoid the waves crashing on her.
The woman ignored my friend and rushed to get back to the beach. The water was pulling at her and she didn’t make it to the sand before the waves did. The first wave crashed on her and she was absolutely pounded. The woman climbed out of the water afterward minus her bikini bottoms. She was unharmed but completely embarrassed. But she could have been killed.
【回答】
我住在夏威夷。冬天，海浪可达 30 英尺。从 11 月到次年 2 月，到处都张贴着大浪和危险激流的告示。我最好的朋友游泳很厉害，知道如何应对大浪，因为她一生都在学习在大浪中保持安全。一名女士显然不是本地人，她在海浪相对平缓的时候跳入水中。当她看到海浪来袭，开始惊慌失措了。我的朋友告诉那名女士留在水里，游到更深的地方，避免海浪撞到她身上。
这名女士没有理会我的朋友，急忙跑回海滩。海浪向她袭来，她没能赶在海浪之前跑到沙滩上。第一个浪沉重地打在她身上。之后，这名女士从水里爬出来，但下身的比基尼已经不见了。她没有受伤，但十分尴尬。不过，她本可能会因此丧命。
I live in Hawai’i. In the winter, the waves can get up to 30 feet. From November-February, signs are posted everywhere about high surf and dangerous rip currents. My best friend is a fantastic swimmer and knows how to deal with big waves because she's been learning to be safe in big surf her whole life. A woman, clearly not local, dove in when it was relatively flat. She saw a set coming and started freaking out. My friend told the woman to stay in the water and swim out deeper to avoid the waves crashing on her.
The woman ignored my friend and rushed to get back to the beach. The water was pulling at her and she didn’t make it to the sand before the waves did. The first wave crashed on her and she was absolutely pounded. The woman climbed out of the water afterward minus her bikini bottoms. She was unharmed but completely embarrassed. But she could have been killed.
【回答】
我住在夏威夷。冬天，海浪可达 30 英尺。从 11 月到次年 2 月，到处都张贴着大浪和危险激流的告示。我最好的朋友游泳很厉害，知道如何应对大浪，因为她一生都在学习在大浪中保持安全。一名女士显然不是本地人，她在海浪相对平缓的时候跳入水中。当她看到海浪来袭，开始惊慌失措了。我的朋友告诉那名女士留在水里，游到更深的地方，避免海浪撞到她身上。
这名女士没有理会我的朋友，急忙跑回海滩。海浪向她袭来，她没能赶在海浪之前跑到沙滩上。第一个浪沉重地打在她身上。之后，这名女士从水里爬出来，但下身的比基尼已经不见了。她没有受伤，但十分尴尬。不过，她本可能会因此丧命。
Ron Irwin Senior Lecturer at University of Cape Town (1994–present)
I swear the following story is true…
I went on a guided 4 x 4 tour in some of the natural parks of Botswana, Namibia and Zimbabwe with some other folks a while back. Our guide was a pretty tough looking fellow who was very well versed in the natural world. He was happy to point out the various flora and fauna that we passed as we drove through the parks and, at one point, were poled along the Okavango swamps in low canoes called mokoros.
But we did have one American woman on the trip who really had come to Africa utterly clueless. Her first question when we came across a pod of hippos was “Where do the hippos lay their eggs?”
Uh…hippos are mammals, ma’am. They don’t lay eggs.
At one point we came to an incredibly beautiful desolate area where there were ancient baobab trees on the edge of magnificent salt pans, or flats. They are called “Baines’ Baobabs” after the famous naturalist Thomas Baines who painted these in 1862. These magnificent trees are up to 4000 years old and have changed little over the years. They are surely a sight of a lifetime, and as I sat sipping a whisky with the guide and taking this in, I reflected on how lucky I was to see this far flung marvel…
【回答】开普敦大学高级讲师（1994 年 - 至今）
我发誓下面的故事是真的...
前不久，我和其他人一起在波茨瓦纳、纳米比亚和津巴布韦的一些自然公园里参加了一次4x4越野车旅行。我们的导游是个看起来很强壮的家伙，他对自然界非常了解。当我们驱车穿越公园时，他很高兴地为我们指出所经过的各种动植物，有一次，我们还乘坐一种叫做 mokoros 的低矮独木舟，沿着奥卡万戈沼泽地前行。
I swear the following story is true…
I went on a guided 4 x 4 tour in some of the natural parks of Botswana, Namibia and Zimbabwe with some other folks a while back. Our guide was a pretty tough looking fellow who was very well versed in the natural world. He was happy to point out the various flora and fauna that we passed as we drove through the parks and, at one point, were poled along the Okavango swamps in low canoes called mokoros.
But we did have one American woman on the trip who really had come to Africa utterly clueless. Her first question when we came across a pod of hippos was “Where do the hippos lay their eggs?”
Uh…hippos are mammals, ma’am. They don’t lay eggs.
At one point we came to an incredibly beautiful desolate area where there were ancient baobab trees on the edge of magnificent salt pans, or flats. They are called “Baines’ Baobabs” after the famous naturalist Thomas Baines who painted these in 1862. These magnificent trees are up to 4000 years old and have changed little over the years. They are surely a sight of a lifetime, and as I sat sipping a whisky with the guide and taking this in, I reflected on how lucky I was to see this far flung marvel…
【回答】开普敦大学高级讲师（1994 年 - 至今）
我发誓下面的故事是真的...
前不久，我和其他人一起在波茨瓦纳、纳米比亚和津巴布韦的一些自然公园里参加了一次4x4越野车旅行。我们的导游是个看起来很强壮的家伙，他对自然界非常了解。当我们驱车穿越公园时，他很高兴地为我们指出所经过的各种动植物，有一次，我们还乘坐一种叫做 mokoros 的低矮独木舟，沿着奥卡万戈沼泽地前行。
不过，这次旅行中确实有一名美国女士，她来到非洲时真的是一无所知。当我们遇到一群河马时，她的第一个问题就是 "河马在哪里产卵？"
呃... 河马是哺乳动物，女士。它们不下蛋。
有一次，我们来到一片无比美丽的荒凉地带，那里有许多古老的猴面包树，位于壮观的盐盘或平地边缘。这些树被称为 "贝恩斯猴面包树"，取自著名自然学家托马斯-贝恩斯，他在1862 年绘制了这些树的画。这些壮观的树木树龄长达 4000 年，多年来几乎没有什么变化。当我和导游坐在一起一边喝着威士忌一边欣赏这些美景时，我不禁想到自己是多么幸运，能够看到这个遥远的奇迹...
This woman sat there saying “These trees are ugly. This is all so ugly.”
The guide was getting a bit impatient with her, and as we drove on the next day we came across elephant dung in the road…it is literally everywhere because elephants are so plentiful in Botswana.
The guide pointed at it and then said, offhandedly, “The elephants came by here pretty recently, we should see them later.”
The woman looked at the dung wide eyed and said, “How long ago did they pass by?”
The guide had had it by then.
It’s pretty obvious that wet looking dung is recent dung and dry dung is old dung, but instead of calmly explaining this to her, he jumped out of the jeep and bent over the dung, sniffed it, and then stuck a finger in it and cleverly licked his middle (non-dung covered) finger, “I think they came by 23 minutes ago. They are close.”
这名女士坐在那里说："这些树太丑了。所有都太丑了"
导游对她有点不耐烦了，第二天我们开车在路上遇到了大象的粪便......因为大象在博茨瓦纳非常多，所以象粪简直随处可见。
导游指了指那堆粪便，然后随口就说："大象最近才来过这里，我们一会儿应该能看到它们。"
女士睁大眼睛看着那堆粪便说："他们是多久之前经过的？"
导游当时已经受够了。
很明显，湿的粪便是最近的粪便，而干的粪便则是很久的粪便，但他并没有平静地向她解释，而是跳下吉普车，弯腰在粪便上闻了闻，然后把一根手指伸进粪便里，巧妙地舔了舔自己的中指（没有沾到粪便），"我想它们23分钟前就来过了，很近。”
The woman was amazed at this ancient tracking knowledge. “How can you know this..to the last minute?”
“Fresh dung tastes like cinnamon,” he replied.
This woman jumped out of the truck, stuck HER finger in the dung, and licked it. We were amazed.
“I can’t taste cinnamon?”
The guide silently got back into the truck, shaking his head. We were all clapping.
The elephants were indeed pretty close. The woman never mentioned this moment again.
这名女士对这种古老的追踪知识感到惊讶。"你怎么能知道得.. 这么精确的？"
"新鲜的粪便尝起来像肉桂，"他回答道。
女士跳下车，把她的手指伸进粪便里，舔了舔。我们都惊呆了。
"我怎么没尝到肉桂的味道？"
导游默默地回到车上，摇了摇头。我们都在鼓掌。
大象确实离得很近。这名女士再也没有提起过这一刻。
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