网帖翻译

AITA.. Who am I kidding, I am defiantly the AH for sleeping with my ex-fiancé's affair baby 23 years later.
I'm a 45 year old guy. single no kids. All names are fake.

23年后我和我前未婚妻和别人生下的孩子睡到了一起，我现在45岁、单身、无子。（帖子里人名均为化名）

Okey here is the short version. About 24 years ago my then fiancé Ella (then 20) told me she was pregnant. I was over the moon. We did not set a wedding date yet, but now we wanted to wait till the child was 2-3 to be part of the wedding party.

好吧，简短些说吧。大约24年前，我当时未婚妻艾拉(当时20岁)忽然有一天告诉我她怀孕了。得知后的我高兴坏了。但当时我们还没有商定结婚日期，我们想等到孩子到2-3岁时再举办婚礼。

When she was about 7 months pregnant my world shattered. A "friend" (lets call him Luke) told me that the child was his and not mine. This lead to a physical fight and Ella took his side. We were done, I broke up with her there. she moved in with Luke. I did demand a paternity test, if the child was mine I demanded to be in it's life. After the birth of the girl the test was done twice. By a clinic I choose and one she choose. Turned out she was not mine.
I was destroyed and left town. She could have her life, I didn't want to witness it.

可在她怀孕7个月时，我的世界突然崩塌。一个“朋友”(叫他卢克吧)告诉我说，我未婚妻肚子里的孩子是他的，不是我的。随后我们之间就爆发了一场激烈的肢体冲突，而艾拉却站在了他那一边。我们之间结束了，我在那里和她分手了。她搬去和卢克住一起了，我很想做个亲子鉴定，如果孩子是我的，我会要求她跟我在一起的。孩子是个女孩，后来做了两次亲子鉴定。选了两家诊所，一此是他选的，另一次是我选的。两次鉴定结果均表明，孩子真不是我的。

A month ago my work brought me back to my home town temporary for two weeks.
I ran into Ella with her daughter Nicky (23) at an impromptu school reunx.
Ella wanted to catch up. I wasn't angry anymore, but also did not see the point of being friends. I declined and mingled. After while I sat at a table nursing a drink.
Ella has already left and Nicky sat at my table. She asked for 10 minutes to talk.

一个月前，由于工作关系，我回老家呆了两个礼拜。。
在一次学校聚会上，我碰见了艾拉（前未婚妻）和她的23岁的女儿妮基。
艾拉想跟我和好。实际上我早已不再生气了，但也看不出再做朋友还有什么意义。于是我婉言谢绝，和她寒暄。我坐在桌旁喝了一阵儿酒。艾拉走了，不过她女儿妮基过来坐在我的桌子旁。她说她想跟我说说话。

She knew about my history with her mother. And it was clear that she resented her mother. Because.... Luke was also not her bio dad. Ella cheated on me with at least 2 people. 23andme revealed the real bio dad, he had passed away already.
When Nicky was 7 Luke found out and kicked them out. And it became the scandal. Nicky was bullied her whole live for being the affair baby. Luke's family disowned her. All the cousins she was close with, were gone all of a sudden. She blamed her mother.

她知道我和她母亲的过去。很明显，她恨自己母亲。因为…卢克也不是她的生父。艾拉至少出轨了两个男人。23岁的妮基已经查到自己的生父是谁，但他早已经去世了。
妮基7岁时，卢克发现孩子并不是自己亲生女儿，把她和她母亲赶出了家门。这件丑事被弄的世人皆知。小时候的妮基总被欺负，因为她是野男人的孩子。她和卢克的家人断绝了关系。曾经所有和她关系很好的表兄妹似乎一夜间都疏远了她。她说她恨她母亲。

I asked her why she told me all of this, She said that I am someone who would understand this betrayal. And she is a product of that betrayal. She does not expect anything from me, she just needed someone to talk to that would understand.
I felt for this kid, so we kept talking. We exchanged contact info and went our own ways. Next day she wanted to talk more, to vent more.
So we met in the bar of the hotel I was staying.

我问她为什么要告诉我这些，她说我是一个能理解这种被欺骗的人。她就是那次被欺骗的结果。她不指望我什么，她只是需要一个能理解她的人。
我很同情这孩子，所以我们一直在聊。双方离开前，我们留了彼此的联系方式。第二天，她说她很想多跟我谈谈，想发泄一下。于是我们在我住的那家酒店里酒吧见面了。

We had drinks and she ranted about her life. We talked till late and when the bar closed Nicky was too drunk to drive home and since I didn't know where she lived I couldn't even get her an uber. So I took her to my room. I have the habit of always getting a room with twin beds. So she slept in one bed and I slept in the other. Nothing happened, Next morning we had breakfast and she left while I went to work.
A few nights I met Nicky in de bar because she had a lot to rant about.

我们喝了几杯后，她大谈自己生活。我们聊到很晚，直至酒吧关门，当时妮基已经醉得没法开车回家，而我又不知道她住在哪儿，即使我叫辆出租车也不知道给他送到哪里!
之后的好几个晚上，我都在酒吧见到了妮基，她每次见到我就倾诉遇到的烦恼。

We also talked about her future and she expressed interest to move out of town to escape the stigma of being the affair baby.
Here is where I am the asshole.
I made a move on her one night.
At first she walked away. I thought I blew it so I went up to my room. An hour later she send me a text asking if I was in my room. As soon as I answer with yes she knocked on the door.

我们还谈到了她的未来，她表示自己很想单独出去，以摆脱被视为野孩子的羞辱。我就是个令人讨厌的人。
有一次她说完就走了。我还以为我做错了什么，就回房间了。一个小时后，她给我发了一条短信，问我是否在房间里。我刚回答“在”，她就敲门了。
（注：这里有段大家肯定都不愿意看，略…）

I was sober, she was sober, I had time to think, I could have send her away, but I didn't. This is the daughter of my ex-fiancé. If I had never found out Ella cheated, I would have raised Nicky as my own daughter. But I found out and Nicky is not my daughter, I never saw her as a baby, never saw her grow up, I never saw her as a daughter, the first time I saw her was a week ago.
So yes I slept with her, and then again.

我很清醒，她也很清醒，我知道发生了什么，我可以把她送走，但我没有。这是我前未婚妻的女儿。我如果没有发现艾拉背叛我，我一定会把妮基当亲生女儿来照看。但我知道妮基不是我亲生女儿，她从小到大，我从没养过她，也没有照顾过他，更没把她当女儿来看，与她相识仅仅才过了一周！
所以，是的，我和她睡在了一起。

Nicky is more vengeful then I am. She said she wanted to let her mother know, but she wasn't going to do it if I didn't want to. I was Okey with letting her know, It took a little convincing in how we would let her know.
We took a picture together, clearly in bed, clearly naked but covered by sheets, and she send it as a one time view picture to her mother via Instagram message with the caption: "I can finally call him daddy"

妮基的复仇心比我的还强烈。她说她想让她妈知道，但如果我不愿意，她是不会这么做的。我对让她知道这件事没意见，只是花了点时间解释了而已。
我们还一起拍了张睡在一起的照片，全身赤裸，当然是盖了张床单的，她把这张照片作为带仅一次性浏览照片通过Instagram发给了她妈妈，并配文:“我终于可以叫他爹地了。”

Ella called and they got in a fight, Then she got in a fight with me (still over the phone), I thought I was over the betrayal, but it seems like I had bottled up everything and now it finally came out.
I had 4 more days there, and Nicky stayed in my hotel room those 4 days.

随后，艾拉打电话来，他们吵了一通，然后还和我吵了一架(也是在电话里)，我以为我已经忘记了背叛，以为忘掉曾经所有的委屈，可现在我也终于爆发了出来。
我在那里的酒店住了四天，在这四天里妮基一直和我呆在一起。

Now I'm back home. Nicky is currently packing everything, she going to move to another country to be away from her toxic environment. She will stay with me for a week maybe more before she flies away. She has going no contact with her mother. I have also blocked Ella on everything.
Yes, Nicky and I are both broken. I refused therapy for years, but after that one outburst where I told Ella everything that was bottled up, I've decided that I do need therapy. I have suggested it to Nicky, she said when she is settled she will.
I'm not even going to ask if I'm the asshole, I know I am.

现在我回家了。妮基现在正在收拾东西，她要搬去另一个国家，远离这里的伤心地。在她走之前，她会和我一起呆上一个星期，或许更久。她断开和他母亲的一切联系方式。我也屏蔽了艾拉的所有信息。
是的，妮基和我都受过了打击。好多年来我一直拒绝接受心理治疗，但在那次爆发之后，我把一切深藏心底的事都告诉了艾拉，而我确实需要安慰。“我已经向妮基坦白了，”她说，“等她安定下来后，她会的。”
我常自问自己到底是不是个混蛋，我想这就是吧。

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