作为一名退伍军人，哪个瞬间你知道你的生活将永远不会一样了？
正文翻译
Martin G. Former Military Combat Jobs, Problem Solver, MultiDeployed (1984–2015)
马丁・G. 曾从事军事战斗相关工作，善于解决问题，多次部署执行任务
Just because you asked.
My Unit was 2nd On-The-Ground in Gulf War. After few months of Security Perimeter and waiting Others to get there. …Finally got Go-Ahead to go into Iraq. It wasn't until next day (reached few hundred miles) that we started getting Attacked with Ground-Troops, Tanks Fire, Artillery and Mortars. Awhile Our-Vehicle literally Imploded (Engine literally Collapsed) the middle of this while Feeling the Ground shaking beneath Our Feet.
只是因为你问了，我才说的。
我所在的部队是海湾战争中第二批地面作战部队。在建立了几个月的安全防线并等待其他部队抵达后……我们终于获准进入伊拉克。直到第二天（我们已经推进了几百英里），我们才开始遭到地面部队、坦克火力、火炮和迫击炮的攻击。战斗正激烈时，我们的车辆突然爆炸（发动机彻底损毁），脚下的地面都在晃动。
It was at this point that most of Us knew there was No Point of Return from this.
就在那一刻，我们大多数人都意识到，从这时起，一切都再也回不去了。
Took Us few seconds to realize We were Screwed. After couple minutes We recouped and reorganized. Found a Solution. But that was a Sleepless Night and next few days. We lost a couple (next Unit/Enemy Side) in Horrific Ways, captured a few, reconstructed, Destroyed/Blew Up Equip, had Perimeter Breach, called 9 Line/Medivac, etc.
By some Miracle & JESUS the platoon just barely survived but We really didn't Expect Side Effects/PTSD from All of This back in State.
我们花了几秒钟才反应过来自己陷入了绝境。几分钟后，我们重新振作、整队，找到了应对办法。但那个夜晚以及之后的几天，我们都彻夜未眠。我们以极其惨烈的方式失去了几名战友（友邻部队/敌方也有伤亡），俘获了一些敌人，重新调整部署，摧毁/炸毁了装备，还遭遇了防线被突破的情况，期间多次呼叫9 号线（美军战场医疗疏散请求代码）/医疗救援直升机等。
靠着某种奇迹，也靠着上帝的保佑，我们排总算活了下来，但当时我们回到国内时，根本没料到这一切会带来后遗症/创伤后应激障碍。
Years later Ended Up in A fight with whole new crew. New Equipment, New Tactics and New Enemy. Once again concentrated in bringing people Back. After VBIED Explosion that shook the base on the 1st day, foot patrols, convoy attacks and Mortars rounds falling at night. Was able bring this. …next-to-last Group back home. But Unfortunately PTSD Hit Us Hard. …they're Not the same either. …but i am there for Everyone.
Note: this was Enough for me. (After a Lifetime of Hate and Destruction A person is never really the same). Don't want to be Thank for Service. All i wanted bring My People back. Live Peaceful life for as long as i am here. Cherish Tranquility after bringing Hell Upon the Earth.
几年后，我又和一群全新的战友投入了一场战斗。这次有新的装备、新的战术，面对的也是新的敌人。我的重心依然是把大家平安带回去。第一天就发生了汽车炸弹爆炸，整个基地都为之震动，之后我们还要进行徒步巡逻、应对车队遇袭，夜里还有迫击炮炮弹不断落下。最终我成功把倒数第二批人带回了家。但不幸的是，创伤后应激障碍给了我们沉重一击……他们也变得和以前不一样了……不过我会一直陪在每个人身边。
注：这些经历对我来说已经够了。（在经历了一生的仇恨与毁灭之后，人再也不可能回到从前的样子了。）我不希望别人因为我的服役经历而感谢我。我只想把我的战友们平安带回来，在我还活着的时候过平静的生活，在亲历过人间地狱之后，珍惜这份安宁。
Roland Bartetzko former soldier
罗兰・巴尔特茨科 前士兵
This happened after I had returned to my Croatian unit from a short stint in a Prisoner of War camp in Central Bosnia.
The camp wasn't that bad, at least not for Bosnia, where our enemy was operating concentration and even rape camps.
The first thing I did when I got back to my buddies (after a long shower and a shave, of course,) was visiting the next pub. We had a nice table on the outside terrace, the weather was perfect (late August), and the beer tasted excellent.
这件事发生在我从波斯尼亚中部的一个战俘营短暂关押后，回到克罗地亚所属部队的时候。
那个战俘营不算太糟，至少相对于波斯尼亚的情况来说是这样——在波斯尼亚，我们的敌人还在运营集中营，甚至设有强奸营。
回到战友身边后，我做的第一件事（当然，先好好洗了个澡、刮了胡子）就是去附近的酒吧。我们在外面的露台上找了张不错的桌子，天气好极了（那是八月末），啤酒的味道也棒极了。
A Croatian soldier watching over a valley. At around the same time, I was wounded somewhere down there near the river, together with my company commander.
一名克罗地亚士兵在守卫一个山谷。差不多就在那个时候，我和连长在山谷下方靠近河边的某个地方受了伤。
I should have been happy, or at least felt relief, but I wasn't. I suddenly realized that I wasn't just a visitor or a tourist anymore: a foreign volunteer who has nothing to do with the whole war and can go back to his home country whenever he likes to. Those things were of the past.
I had been too long in the country, saw too much stuff people aren't supposed to see, and knew that I couldn't just go back home as if nothing had happened.
Slowly but incessantly, I had ceased to be a bystander and had become a part of the war. I was in it with my heart and mind. Bosnia had put a big stamp on my life and I wasn't the same person anymore.
我本该感到高兴，至少该觉得如释重负，但我没有。我突然意识到，我不再只是一个过客或游客了——不再是一个与这场战争毫无瓜葛、随时可以回到自己祖国的外国志愿者。那些身份都已是过去式。
我在这个国家待得太久了，目睹了太多人们本不该看到的东西，我知道自己不可能当作什么都没发生过一样回家。
慢慢地，但却不可逆转地，我不再是一个旁观者，而是成了这场战争的一部分。我的身心都深陷其中。波斯尼亚在我的生命中留下了不可磨灭的印记，我再也不是以前的我了。
This sudden realization made me sad but there was nothing I could do about it. This is what many people underestimate: war can lead to profound changes, not only physically and mentally, but also in the way how you see the world and what kind of person you are.
Victor Philippi Works at 100% Service Connected Disabled Veteran (2015–present)
I was in Iraq in 2004, operating in and around Baqubah (a city of about 600,000 about 20 miles north of Baghdad). I was assigned to 3rd brigade, 1st Infantry Division.
After my first firefight, I realized things would be the same almost immediately when I first had the chance to call home a few days later. I quickly realized that, at this point in time, that I’d have a real hard time coming back home.
这个突如其来的认知让我很难过，但我却无能为力。很多人都低估了这一点：战争会带来深远的改变，不仅是身体和精神上的，还会改变你看待世界的方式，改变你本身的人格。
2004年我在伊拉克，负责在巴古拜及其周边地区执行任务（巴古拜是一座约有60万人口的城市，位于巴格达以北约20英里处）。我当时隶属于第一步兵师第三旅。
在经历了第一次交火后，几天後我第一次有机会给家里打电话时，几乎立刻就意识到一切都不一样了。我很快明白，在那个时候，我已经很难再回归过去的生活了。
After that call, I don’t think I called home until about 5–6 months later. The things that were a big deal to my fiancé at the time, like car getting stuck in the snow or her dog getting sprayed by a skunk, were absolutely trivial to me as my day may have consisted of trying to fix a sucking chest wound on a 10-year-old, literally using a spatulas to scrape out the remains of a guy who had burned to death in a car seat as his body fat melted with the plastic of the seat then subsequently hardened, or in stuffing a body bag of a fellow friend and soldier in my platoon. I could never tell anyone at home these things - and I learned it fast.
Just pointing it out, but the one thing that always bothers me is being thanked for my service. I understand the sentiment behind it but, if these people really knew what I did they’d avoid me with everything they have. For me, my military service brings up a lot of feelings of guilt and shame.
那次通话后，我大概过了五六个月才再次给家里打电话。当时对我的未婚妻来说很重要的事，比如车子陷进雪里，或者她的狗被臭鼬喷了，对我来说却完全不值一提——因为我的一天可能是这样的：努力抢救一个10岁孩子的开放性胸伤，或者真的要用铲子把一个在车座上被烧死的人的残骸刮下来（他的脂肪和车座塑料融化后又凝固在了一起），又或者是给我排里的一位战友装尸袋。这些事我永远没法跟家里人说——我很快就明白了这一点。
我想提一点，有件事一直让我很困扰，那就是有人会因为我的服役经历而感谢我。我明白这背后的善意，但如果这些人真的知道我经历过、做过什么，他们一定会尽全力避开我。对我来说，我的军旅生涯带来的更多是愧疚和羞耻。
George Eugene American by the grace of God
乔治・尤金 蒙上帝恩典的美国人
How you view the world affects how the war affects you.
你看待世界的方式，会影响战争对你产生的影响。
Maybe its because I am loud, or big, or stupid, but I never saw the other guy first. My first indication that the enemy was near was when he started shooting at us.
My philosophy was simple, if you shoot at me oh one of my brothers, you are not longer human, and must die. I did not enjoy it, but it didn't bother me either. It was kind of like killing a snake or rat.
Never kept count, never thought about them again.
也许是因为我嗓门大、块头大，或者太迟钝，我从来都不是第一个发现敌人的人。我知道敌人就在附近的第一个信号，就是他们朝我们开枪的时候。
我的想法很简单：如果你们朝我或者我的战友开枪，你们就不再是人了，必须被消灭。我并不喜欢这样做，但也不觉得困扰，就像杀死一条蛇或者一只老鼠一样。
我从来没数过自己杀了多少人，也从来没有再想起过他们。
马丁・G. 曾从事军事战斗相关工作，善于解决问题，多次部署执行任务
Just because you asked.
My Unit was 2nd On-The-Ground in Gulf War. After few months of Security Perimeter and waiting Others to get there. …Finally got Go-Ahead to go into Iraq. It wasn't until next day (reached few hundred miles) that we started getting Attacked with Ground-Troops, Tanks Fire, Artillery and Mortars. Awhile Our-Vehicle literally Imploded (Engine literally Collapsed) the middle of this while Feeling the Ground shaking beneath Our Feet.
只是因为你问了，我才说的。
我所在的部队是海湾战争中第二批地面作战部队。在建立了几个月的安全防线并等待其他部队抵达后……我们终于获准进入伊拉克。直到第二天（我们已经推进了几百英里），我们才开始遭到地面部队、坦克火力、火炮和迫击炮的攻击。战斗正激烈时，我们的车辆突然爆炸（发动机彻底损毁），脚下的地面都在晃动。
It was at this point that most of Us knew there was No Point of Return from this.
就在那一刻，我们大多数人都意识到，从这时起，一切都再也回不去了。
Took Us few seconds to realize We were Screwed. After couple minutes We recouped and reorganized. Found a Solution. But that was a Sleepless Night and next few days. We lost a couple (next Unit/Enemy Side) in Horrific Ways, captured a few, reconstructed, Destroyed/Blew Up Equip, had Perimeter Breach, called 9 Line/Medivac, etc.
By some Miracle & JESUS the platoon just barely survived but We really didn't Expect Side Effects/PTSD from All of This back in State.
我们花了几秒钟才反应过来自己陷入了绝境。几分钟后，我们重新振作、整队，找到了应对办法。但那个夜晚以及之后的几天，我们都彻夜未眠。我们以极其惨烈的方式失去了几名战友（友邻部队/敌方也有伤亡），俘获了一些敌人，重新调整部署，摧毁/炸毁了装备，还遭遇了防线被突破的情况，期间多次呼叫9 号线（美军战场医疗疏散请求代码）/医疗救援直升机等。
靠着某种奇迹，也靠着上帝的保佑，我们排总算活了下来，但当时我们回到国内时，根本没料到这一切会带来后遗症/创伤后应激障碍。
Years later Ended Up in A fight with whole new crew. New Equipment, New Tactics and New Enemy. Once again concentrated in bringing people Back. After VBIED Explosion that shook the base on the 1st day, foot patrols, convoy attacks and Mortars rounds falling at night. Was able bring this. …next-to-last Group back home. But Unfortunately PTSD Hit Us Hard. …they're Not the same either. …but i am there for Everyone.
Note: this was Enough for me. (After a Lifetime of Hate and Destruction A person is never really the same). Don't want to be Thank for Service. All i wanted bring My People back. Live Peaceful life for as long as i am here. Cherish Tranquility after bringing Hell Upon the Earth.
几年后，我又和一群全新的战友投入了一场战斗。这次有新的装备、新的战术，面对的也是新的敌人。我的重心依然是把大家平安带回去。第一天就发生了汽车炸弹爆炸，整个基地都为之震动，之后我们还要进行徒步巡逻、应对车队遇袭，夜里还有迫击炮炮弹不断落下。最终我成功把倒数第二批人带回了家。但不幸的是，创伤后应激障碍给了我们沉重一击……他们也变得和以前不一样了……不过我会一直陪在每个人身边。
注：这些经历对我来说已经够了。（在经历了一生的仇恨与毁灭之后，人再也不可能回到从前的样子了。）我不希望别人因为我的服役经历而感谢我。我只想把我的战友们平安带回来，在我还活着的时候过平静的生活，在亲历过人间地狱之后，珍惜这份安宁。
Roland Bartetzko former soldier
罗兰・巴尔特茨科 前士兵
This happened after I had returned to my Croatian unit from a short stint in a Prisoner of War camp in Central Bosnia.
The camp wasn't that bad, at least not for Bosnia, where our enemy was operating concentration and even rape camps.
The first thing I did when I got back to my buddies (after a long shower and a shave, of course,) was visiting the next pub. We had a nice table on the outside terrace, the weather was perfect (late August), and the beer tasted excellent.
这件事发生在我从波斯尼亚中部的一个战俘营短暂关押后，回到克罗地亚所属部队的时候。
那个战俘营不算太糟，至少相对于波斯尼亚的情况来说是这样——在波斯尼亚，我们的敌人还在运营集中营，甚至设有强奸营。
回到战友身边后，我做的第一件事（当然，先好好洗了个澡、刮了胡子）就是去附近的酒吧。我们在外面的露台上找了张不错的桌子，天气好极了（那是八月末），啤酒的味道也棒极了。
A Croatian soldier watching over a valley. At around the same time, I was wounded somewhere down there near the river, together with my company commander.
一名克罗地亚士兵在守卫一个山谷。差不多就在那个时候，我和连长在山谷下方靠近河边的某个地方受了伤。
I should have been happy, or at least felt relief, but I wasn't. I suddenly realized that I wasn't just a visitor or a tourist anymore: a foreign volunteer who has nothing to do with the whole war and can go back to his home country whenever he likes to. Those things were of the past.
I had been too long in the country, saw too much stuff people aren't supposed to see, and knew that I couldn't just go back home as if nothing had happened.
Slowly but incessantly, I had ceased to be a bystander and had become a part of the war. I was in it with my heart and mind. Bosnia had put a big stamp on my life and I wasn't the same person anymore.
我本该感到高兴，至少该觉得如释重负，但我没有。我突然意识到，我不再只是一个过客或游客了——不再是一个与这场战争毫无瓜葛、随时可以回到自己祖国的外国志愿者。那些身份都已是过去式。
我在这个国家待得太久了，目睹了太多人们本不该看到的东西，我知道自己不可能当作什么都没发生过一样回家。
慢慢地，但却不可逆转地，我不再是一个旁观者，而是成了这场战争的一部分。我的身心都深陷其中。波斯尼亚在我的生命中留下了不可磨灭的印记，我再也不是以前的我了。
This sudden realization made me sad but there was nothing I could do about it. This is what many people underestimate: war can lead to profound changes, not only physically and mentally, but also in the way how you see the world and what kind of person you are.
Victor Philippi Works at 100% Service Connected Disabled Veteran (2015–present)
I was in Iraq in 2004, operating in and around Baqubah (a city of about 600,000 about 20 miles north of Baghdad). I was assigned to 3rd brigade, 1st Infantry Division.
After my first firefight, I realized things would be the same almost immediately when I first had the chance to call home a few days later. I quickly realized that, at this point in time, that I’d have a real hard time coming back home.
这个突如其来的认知让我很难过，但我却无能为力。很多人都低估了这一点：战争会带来深远的改变，不仅是身体和精神上的，还会改变你看待世界的方式，改变你本身的人格。
2004年我在伊拉克，负责在巴古拜及其周边地区执行任务（巴古拜是一座约有60万人口的城市，位于巴格达以北约20英里处）。我当时隶属于第一步兵师第三旅。
在经历了第一次交火后，几天後我第一次有机会给家里打电话时，几乎立刻就意识到一切都不一样了。我很快明白，在那个时候，我已经很难再回归过去的生活了。
After that call, I don’t think I called home until about 5–6 months later. The things that were a big deal to my fiancé at the time, like car getting stuck in the snow or her dog getting sprayed by a skunk, were absolutely trivial to me as my day may have consisted of trying to fix a sucking chest wound on a 10-year-old, literally using a spatulas to scrape out the remains of a guy who had burned to death in a car seat as his body fat melted with the plastic of the seat then subsequently hardened, or in stuffing a body bag of a fellow friend and soldier in my platoon. I could never tell anyone at home these things - and I learned it fast.
Just pointing it out, but the one thing that always bothers me is being thanked for my service. I understand the sentiment behind it but, if these people really knew what I did they’d avoid me with everything they have. For me, my military service brings up a lot of feelings of guilt and shame.
那次通话后，我大概过了五六个月才再次给家里打电话。当时对我的未婚妻来说很重要的事，比如车子陷进雪里，或者她的狗被臭鼬喷了，对我来说却完全不值一提——因为我的一天可能是这样的：努力抢救一个10岁孩子的开放性胸伤，或者真的要用铲子把一个在车座上被烧死的人的残骸刮下来（他的脂肪和车座塑料融化后又凝固在了一起），又或者是给我排里的一位战友装尸袋。这些事我永远没法跟家里人说——我很快就明白了这一点。
我想提一点，有件事一直让我很困扰，那就是有人会因为我的服役经历而感谢我。我明白这背后的善意，但如果这些人真的知道我经历过、做过什么，他们一定会尽全力避开我。对我来说，我的军旅生涯带来的更多是愧疚和羞耻。
George Eugene American by the grace of God
乔治・尤金 蒙上帝恩典的美国人
How you view the world affects how the war affects you.
你看待世界的方式，会影响战争对你产生的影响。
Maybe its because I am loud, or big, or stupid, but I never saw the other guy first. My first indication that the enemy was near was when he started shooting at us.
My philosophy was simple, if you shoot at me oh one of my brothers, you are not longer human, and must die. I did not enjoy it, but it didn't bother me either. It was kind of like killing a snake or rat.
Never kept count, never thought about them again.
也许是因为我嗓门大、块头大，或者太迟钝，我从来都不是第一个发现敌人的人。我知道敌人就在附近的第一个信号，就是他们朝我们开枪的时候。
我的想法很简单：如果你们朝我或者我的战友开枪，你们就不再是人了，必须被消灭。我并不喜欢这样做，但也不觉得困扰，就像杀死一条蛇或者一只老鼠一样。
我从来没数过自己杀了多少人，也从来没有再想起过他们。
评论翻译
Martin G. Former Military Combat Jobs, Problem Solver, MultiDeployed (1984–2015)
马丁・G. 曾从事军事战斗相关工作，善于解决问题，多次部署执行任务
Just because you asked.
My Unit was 2nd On-The-Ground in Gulf War. After few months of Security Perimeter and waiting Others to get there. …Finally got Go-Ahead to go into Iraq. It wasn't until next day (reached few hundred miles) that we started getting Attacked with Ground-Troops, Tanks Fire, Artillery and Mortars. Awhile Our-Vehicle literally Imploded (Engine literally Collapsed) the middle of this while Feeling the Ground shaking beneath Our Feet.
只是因为你问了，我才说的。
我所在的部队是海湾战争中第二批地面作战部队。在建立了几个月的安全防线并等待其他部队抵达后……我们终于获准进入伊拉克。直到第二天（我们已经推进了几百英里），我们才开始遭到地面部队、坦克火力、火炮和迫击炮的攻击。战斗正激烈时，我们的车辆突然爆炸（发动机彻底损毁），脚下的地面都在晃动。
It was at this point that most of Us knew there was No Point of Return from this.
就在那一刻，我们大多数人都意识到，从这时起，一切都再也回不去了。
Took Us few seconds to realize We were Screwed. After couple minutes We recouped and reorganized. Found a Solution. But that was a Sleepless Night and next few days. We lost a couple (next Unit/Enemy Side) in Horrific Ways, captured a few, reconstructed, Destroyed/Blew Up Equip, had Perimeter Breach, called 9 Line/Medivac, etc.
By some Miracle & JESUS the platoon just barely survived but We really didn't Expect Side Effects/PTSD from All of This back in State.
我们花了几秒钟才反应过来自己陷入了绝境。几分钟后，我们重新振作、整队，找到了应对办法。但那个夜晚以及之后的几天，我们都彻夜未眠。我们以极其惨烈的方式失去了几名战友（友邻部队/敌方也有伤亡），俘获了一些敌人，重新调整部署，摧毁/炸毁了装备，还遭遇了防线被突破的情况，期间多次呼叫9 号线（美军战场医疗疏散请求代码）/医疗救援直升机等。
靠着某种奇迹，也靠着上帝的保佑，我们排总算活了下来，但当时我们回到国内时，根本没料到这一切会带来后遗症/创伤后应激障碍。
Years later Ended Up in A fight with whole new crew. New Equipment, New Tactics and New Enemy. Once again concentrated in bringing people Back. After VBIED Explosion that shook the base on the 1st day, foot patrols, convoy attacks and Mortars rounds falling at night. Was able bring this. …next-to-last Group back home. But Unfortunately PTSD Hit Us Hard. …they're Not the same either. …but i am there for Everyone.
Note: this was Enough for me. (After a Lifetime of Hate and Destruction A person is never really the same). Don't want to be Thank for Service. All i wanted bring My People back. Live Peaceful life for as long as i am here. Cherish Tranquility after bringing Hell Upon the Earth.
几年后，我又和一群全新的战友投入了一场战斗。这次有新的装备、新的战术，面对的也是新的敌人。我的重心依然是把大家平安带回去。第一天就发生了汽车炸弹爆炸，整个基地都为之震动，之后我们还要进行徒步巡逻、应对车队遇袭，夜里还有迫击炮炮弹不断落下。最终我成功把倒数第二批人带回了家。但不幸的是，创伤后应激障碍给了我们沉重一击……他们也变得和以前不一样了……不过我会一直陪在每个人身边。
注：这些经历对我来说已经够了。（在经历了一生的仇恨与毁灭之后，人再也不可能回到从前的样子了。）我不希望别人因为我的服役经历而感谢我。我只想把我的战友们平安带回来，在我还活着的时候过平静的生活，在亲历过人间地狱之后，珍惜这份安宁。
Roland Bartetzko former soldier
罗兰・巴尔特茨科 前士兵
This happened after I had returned to my Croatian unit from a short stint in a Prisoner of War camp in Central Bosnia.
The camp wasn't that bad, at least not for Bosnia, where our enemy was operating concentration and even rape camps.
The first thing I did when I got back to my buddies (after a long shower and a shave, of course,) was visiting the next pub. We had a nice table on the outside terrace, the weather was perfect (late August), and the beer tasted excellent.
这件事发生在我从波斯尼亚中部的一个战俘营短暂关押后，回到克罗地亚所属部队的时候。
那个战俘营不算太糟，至少相对于波斯尼亚的情况来说是这样——在波斯尼亚，我们的敌人还在运营集中营，甚至设有强奸营。
回到战友身边后，我做的第一件事（当然，先好好洗了个澡、刮了胡子）就是去附近的酒吧。我们在外面的露台上找了张不错的桌子，天气好极了（那是八月末），啤酒的味道也棒极了。
A Croatian soldier watching over a valley. At around the same time, I was wounded somewhere down there near the river, together with my company commander.
一名克罗地亚士兵在守卫一个山谷。差不多就在那个时候，我和连长在山谷下方靠近河边的某个地方受了伤。
I should have been happy, or at least felt relief, but I wasn't. I suddenly realized that I wasn't just a visitor or a tourist anymore: a foreign volunteer who has nothing to do with the whole war and can go back to his home country whenever he likes to. Those things were of the past.
I had been too long in the country, saw too much stuff people aren't supposed to see, and knew that I couldn't just go back home as if nothing had happened.
Slowly but incessantly, I had ceased to be a bystander and had become a part of the war. I was in it with my heart and mind. Bosnia had put a big stamp on my life and I wasn't the same person anymore.
我本该感到高兴，至少该觉得如释重负，但我没有。我突然意识到，我不再只是一个过客或游客了——不再是一个与这场战争毫无瓜葛、随时可以回到自己祖国的外国志愿者。那些身份都已是过去式。
我在这个国家待得太久了，目睹了太多人们本不该看到的东西，我知道自己不可能当作什么都没发生过一样回家。
慢慢地，但却不可逆转地，我不再是一个旁观者，而是成了这场战争的一部分。我的身心都深陷其中。波斯尼亚在我的生命中留下了不可磨灭的印记，我再也不是以前的我了。
This sudden realization made me sad but there was nothing I could do about it. This is what many people underestimate: war can lead to profound changes, not only physically and mentally, but also in the way how you see the world and what kind of person you are.
Victor Philippi Works at 100% Service Connected Disabled Veteran (2015–present)
I was in Iraq in 2004, operating in and around Baqubah (a city of about 600,000 about 20 miles north of Baghdad). I was assigned to 3rd brigade, 1st Infantry Division.
After my first firefight, I realized things would be the same almost immediately when I first had the chance to call home a few days later. I quickly realized that, at this point in time, that I’d have a real hard time coming back home.
这个突如其来的认知让我很难过，但我却无能为力。很多人都低估了这一点：战争会带来深远的改变，不仅是身体和精神上的，还会改变你看待世界的方式，改变你本身的人格。
2004年我在伊拉克，负责在巴古拜及其周边地区执行任务（巴古拜是一座约有60万人口的城市，位于巴格达以北约20英里处）。我当时隶属于第一步兵师第三旅。
在经历了第一次交火后，几天後我第一次有机会给家里打电话时，几乎立刻就意识到一切都不一样了。我很快明白，在那个时候，我已经很难再回归过去的生活了。
After that call, I don’t think I called home until about 5–6 months later. The things that were a big deal to my fiancé at the time, like car getting stuck in the snow or her dog getting sprayed by a skunk, were absolutely trivial to me as my day may have consisted of trying to fix a sucking chest wound on a 10-year-old, literally using a spatulas to scrape out the remains of a guy who had burned to death in a car seat as his body fat melted with the plastic of the seat then subsequently hardened, or in stuffing a body bag of a fellow friend and soldier in my platoon. I could never tell anyone at home these things - and I learned it fast.
Just pointing it out, but the one thing that always bothers me is being thanked for my service. I understand the sentiment behind it but, if these people really knew what I did they’d avoid me with everything they have. For me, my military service brings up a lot of feelings of guilt and shame.
那次通话后，我大概过了五六个月才再次给家里打电话。当时对我的未婚妻来说很重要的事，比如车子陷进雪里，或者她的狗被臭鼬喷了，对我来说却完全不值一提——因为我的一天可能是这样的：努力抢救一个10岁孩子的开放性胸伤，或者真的要用铲子把一个在车座上被烧死的人的残骸刮下来（他的脂肪和车座塑料融化后又凝固在了一起），又或者是给我排里的一位战友装尸袋。这些事我永远没法跟家里人说——我很快就明白了这一点。
我想提一点，有件事一直让我很困扰，那就是有人会因为我的服役经历而感谢我。我明白这背后的善意，但如果这些人真的知道我经历过、做过什么，他们一定会尽全力避开我。对我来说，我的军旅生涯带来的更多是愧疚和羞耻。
George Eugene American by the grace of God
乔治・尤金 蒙上帝恩典的美国人
How you view the world affects how the war affects you.
你看待世界的方式，会影响战争对你产生的影响。
Maybe its because I am loud, or big, or stupid, but I never saw the other guy first. My first indication that the enemy was near was when he started shooting at us.
My philosophy was simple, if you shoot at me oh one of my brothers, you are not longer human, and must die. I did not enjoy it, but it didn't bother me either. It was kind of like killing a snake or rat.
Never kept count, never thought about them again.
也许是因为我嗓门大、块头大，或者太迟钝，我从来都不是第一个发现敌人的人。我知道敌人就在附近的第一个信号，就是他们朝我们开枪的时候。
我的想法很简单：如果你们朝我或者我的战友开枪，你们就不再是人了，必须被消灭。我并不喜欢这样做，但也不觉得困扰，就像杀死一条蛇或者一只老鼠一样。
我从来没数过自己杀了多少人，也从来没有再想起过他们。
马丁・G. 曾从事军事战斗相关工作，善于解决问题，多次部署执行任务
Just because you asked.
My Unit was 2nd On-The-Ground in Gulf War. After few months of Security Perimeter and waiting Others to get there. …Finally got Go-Ahead to go into Iraq. It wasn't until next day (reached few hundred miles) that we started getting Attacked with Ground-Troops, Tanks Fire, Artillery and Mortars. Awhile Our-Vehicle literally Imploded (Engine literally Collapsed) the middle of this while Feeling the Ground shaking beneath Our Feet.
只是因为你问了，我才说的。
我所在的部队是海湾战争中第二批地面作战部队。在建立了几个月的安全防线并等待其他部队抵达后……我们终于获准进入伊拉克。直到第二天（我们已经推进了几百英里），我们才开始遭到地面部队、坦克火力、火炮和迫击炮的攻击。战斗正激烈时，我们的车辆突然爆炸（发动机彻底损毁），脚下的地面都在晃动。
It was at this point that most of Us knew there was No Point of Return from this.
就在那一刻，我们大多数人都意识到，从这时起，一切都再也回不去了。
Took Us few seconds to realize We were Screwed. After couple minutes We recouped and reorganized. Found a Solution. But that was a Sleepless Night and next few days. We lost a couple (next Unit/Enemy Side) in Horrific Ways, captured a few, reconstructed, Destroyed/Blew Up Equip, had Perimeter Breach, called 9 Line/Medivac, etc.
By some Miracle & JESUS the platoon just barely survived but We really didn't Expect Side Effects/PTSD from All of This back in State.
我们花了几秒钟才反应过来自己陷入了绝境。几分钟后，我们重新振作、整队，找到了应对办法。但那个夜晚以及之后的几天，我们都彻夜未眠。我们以极其惨烈的方式失去了几名战友（友邻部队/敌方也有伤亡），俘获了一些敌人，重新调整部署，摧毁/炸毁了装备，还遭遇了防线被突破的情况，期间多次呼叫9 号线（美军战场医疗疏散请求代码）/医疗救援直升机等。
靠着某种奇迹，也靠着上帝的保佑，我们排总算活了下来，但当时我们回到国内时，根本没料到这一切会带来后遗症/创伤后应激障碍。
Years later Ended Up in A fight with whole new crew. New Equipment, New Tactics and New Enemy. Once again concentrated in bringing people Back. After VBIED Explosion that shook the base on the 1st day, foot patrols, convoy attacks and Mortars rounds falling at night. Was able bring this. …next-to-last Group back home. But Unfortunately PTSD Hit Us Hard. …they're Not the same either. …but i am there for Everyone.
Note: this was Enough for me. (After a Lifetime of Hate and Destruction A person is never really the same). Don't want to be Thank for Service. All i wanted bring My People back. Live Peaceful life for as long as i am here. Cherish Tranquility after bringing Hell Upon the Earth.
几年后，我又和一群全新的战友投入了一场战斗。这次有新的装备、新的战术，面对的也是新的敌人。我的重心依然是把大家平安带回去。第一天就发生了汽车炸弹爆炸，整个基地都为之震动，之后我们还要进行徒步巡逻、应对车队遇袭，夜里还有迫击炮炮弹不断落下。最终我成功把倒数第二批人带回了家。但不幸的是，创伤后应激障碍给了我们沉重一击……他们也变得和以前不一样了……不过我会一直陪在每个人身边。
注：这些经历对我来说已经够了。（在经历了一生的仇恨与毁灭之后，人再也不可能回到从前的样子了。）我不希望别人因为我的服役经历而感谢我。我只想把我的战友们平安带回来，在我还活着的时候过平静的生活，在亲历过人间地狱之后，珍惜这份安宁。
Roland Bartetzko former soldier
罗兰・巴尔特茨科 前士兵
This happened after I had returned to my Croatian unit from a short stint in a Prisoner of War camp in Central Bosnia.
The camp wasn't that bad, at least not for Bosnia, where our enemy was operating concentration and even rape camps.
The first thing I did when I got back to my buddies (after a long shower and a shave, of course,) was visiting the next pub. We had a nice table on the outside terrace, the weather was perfect (late August), and the beer tasted excellent.
这件事发生在我从波斯尼亚中部的一个战俘营短暂关押后，回到克罗地亚所属部队的时候。
那个战俘营不算太糟，至少相对于波斯尼亚的情况来说是这样——在波斯尼亚，我们的敌人还在运营集中营，甚至设有强奸营。
回到战友身边后，我做的第一件事（当然，先好好洗了个澡、刮了胡子）就是去附近的酒吧。我们在外面的露台上找了张不错的桌子，天气好极了（那是八月末），啤酒的味道也棒极了。
A Croatian soldier watching over a valley. At around the same time, I was wounded somewhere down there near the river, together with my company commander.
一名克罗地亚士兵在守卫一个山谷。差不多就在那个时候，我和连长在山谷下方靠近河边的某个地方受了伤。
I should have been happy, or at least felt relief, but I wasn't. I suddenly realized that I wasn't just a visitor or a tourist anymore: a foreign volunteer who has nothing to do with the whole war and can go back to his home country whenever he likes to. Those things were of the past.
I had been too long in the country, saw too much stuff people aren't supposed to see, and knew that I couldn't just go back home as if nothing had happened.
Slowly but incessantly, I had ceased to be a bystander and had become a part of the war. I was in it with my heart and mind. Bosnia had put a big stamp on my life and I wasn't the same person anymore.
我本该感到高兴，至少该觉得如释重负，但我没有。我突然意识到，我不再只是一个过客或游客了——不再是一个与这场战争毫无瓜葛、随时可以回到自己祖国的外国志愿者。那些身份都已是过去式。
我在这个国家待得太久了，目睹了太多人们本不该看到的东西，我知道自己不可能当作什么都没发生过一样回家。
慢慢地，但却不可逆转地，我不再是一个旁观者，而是成了这场战争的一部分。我的身心都深陷其中。波斯尼亚在我的生命中留下了不可磨灭的印记，我再也不是以前的我了。
This sudden realization made me sad but there was nothing I could do about it. This is what many people underestimate: war can lead to profound changes, not only physically and mentally, but also in the way how you see the world and what kind of person you are.
Victor Philippi Works at 100% Service Connected Disabled Veteran (2015–present)
I was in Iraq in 2004, operating in and around Baqubah (a city of about 600,000 about 20 miles north of Baghdad). I was assigned to 3rd brigade, 1st Infantry Division.
After my first firefight, I realized things would be the same almost immediately when I first had the chance to call home a few days later. I quickly realized that, at this point in time, that I’d have a real hard time coming back home.
这个突如其来的认知让我很难过，但我却无能为力。很多人都低估了这一点：战争会带来深远的改变，不仅是身体和精神上的，还会改变你看待世界的方式，改变你本身的人格。
2004年我在伊拉克，负责在巴古拜及其周边地区执行任务（巴古拜是一座约有60万人口的城市，位于巴格达以北约20英里处）。我当时隶属于第一步兵师第三旅。
在经历了第一次交火后，几天後我第一次有机会给家里打电话时，几乎立刻就意识到一切都不一样了。我很快明白，在那个时候，我已经很难再回归过去的生活了。
After that call, I don’t think I called home until about 5–6 months later. The things that were a big deal to my fiancé at the time, like car getting stuck in the snow or her dog getting sprayed by a skunk, were absolutely trivial to me as my day may have consisted of trying to fix a sucking chest wound on a 10-year-old, literally using a spatulas to scrape out the remains of a guy who had burned to death in a car seat as his body fat melted with the plastic of the seat then subsequently hardened, or in stuffing a body bag of a fellow friend and soldier in my platoon. I could never tell anyone at home these things - and I learned it fast.
Just pointing it out, but the one thing that always bothers me is being thanked for my service. I understand the sentiment behind it but, if these people really knew what I did they’d avoid me with everything they have. For me, my military service brings up a lot of feelings of guilt and shame.
那次通话后，我大概过了五六个月才再次给家里打电话。当时对我的未婚妻来说很重要的事，比如车子陷进雪里，或者她的狗被臭鼬喷了，对我来说却完全不值一提——因为我的一天可能是这样的：努力抢救一个10岁孩子的开放性胸伤，或者真的要用铲子把一个在车座上被烧死的人的残骸刮下来（他的脂肪和车座塑料融化后又凝固在了一起），又或者是给我排里的一位战友装尸袋。这些事我永远没法跟家里人说——我很快就明白了这一点。
我想提一点，有件事一直让我很困扰，那就是有人会因为我的服役经历而感谢我。我明白这背后的善意，但如果这些人真的知道我经历过、做过什么，他们一定会尽全力避开我。对我来说，我的军旅生涯带来的更多是愧疚和羞耻。
George Eugene American by the grace of God
乔治・尤金 蒙上帝恩典的美国人
How you view the world affects how the war affects you.
你看待世界的方式，会影响战争对你产生的影响。
Maybe its because I am loud, or big, or stupid, but I never saw the other guy first. My first indication that the enemy was near was when he started shooting at us.
My philosophy was simple, if you shoot at me oh one of my brothers, you are not longer human, and must die. I did not enjoy it, but it didn't bother me either. It was kind of like killing a snake or rat.
Never kept count, never thought about them again.
也许是因为我嗓门大、块头大，或者太迟钝，我从来都不是第一个发现敌人的人。我知道敌人就在附近的第一个信号，就是他们朝我们开枪的时候。
我的想法很简单：如果你们朝我或者我的战友开枪，你们就不再是人了，必须被消灭。我并不喜欢这样做，但也不觉得困扰，就像杀死一条蛇或者一只老鼠一样。
我从来没数过自己杀了多少人，也从来没有再想起过他们。
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