如何应对困境？（二）
正文翻译
How do I manage it if I want to learn singing, but I don't have money? The economic condition is very bad, and I don’t have a job. How do I deal with this situation?
如果我想学唱歌，但又没有钱，我该怎么办?经济形势非常糟糕，我没有工作。我该如何处理这种情况?
如果我想学唱歌，但又没有钱，我该怎么办?经济形势非常糟糕，我没有工作。我该如何处理这种情况?
评论翻译
David Leigh
How do singing lessons help you sing better?
Oh God, it’s so cool. Have you ever learned to play a sport? Let’s say you want to learn to play basketball. At first, it’s just basic rules: no running without dribbling the ball, you score by putting the ball in the basket. Then you start learning some fundamentals, like defensive stance, how to shoot, etc. Once you’re a pro, you’ve got world experts playing back film for you, showing how if you can rotate your wrist just a few millimeters less, your shots will arc more consistently.
Learning to sing is just like that, but even cooler because a lot of the action takes place invisibly, inside your body. At first, you learn basic rules: this is how you sing in tune, etc. Then you start learning some fundamentals, like how to think about breathing. Once you’re a pro, you’re dealing with minutia of vocal fold motion, which is invisible but crucial to a high-level professional.
It’s seriously the most amazing thing.
唱歌课如何帮助你唱得更好？
天啊，太酷了。你学过体育运动吗？比方说你想学打篮球,起初，这只是基本规则：不运球是不能跑动的，你把球投入篮框而得分。然后你开始学习一些基本知识，比如防守姿势、如何投篮等。一旦你成为职业球员，世界上的专家会为你回放视频，告诉你如果手腕少转动几毫米，你的投篮弧度会更一致。
学习唱歌就是这么一回事，但更酷的是，很多动作都是在你的身体里无形中发生的。一开始，你学习基本规则：这是你唱歌的调子，等等。然后你开始学习一些基本原理，比如如何考虑呼吸的方式。一旦你成为一名专业人士，你就要处理声带运动的细节，这是看不见的，但对高水平的专业人士来说至关重要。
说真的，这是最令人惊奇的事情。
How do singing lessons help you sing better?
Oh God, it’s so cool. Have you ever learned to play a sport? Let’s say you want to learn to play basketball. At first, it’s just basic rules: no running without dribbling the ball, you score by putting the ball in the basket. Then you start learning some fundamentals, like defensive stance, how to shoot, etc. Once you’re a pro, you’ve got world experts playing back film for you, showing how if you can rotate your wrist just a few millimeters less, your shots will arc more consistently.
Learning to sing is just like that, but even cooler because a lot of the action takes place invisibly, inside your body. At first, you learn basic rules: this is how you sing in tune, etc. Then you start learning some fundamentals, like how to think about breathing. Once you’re a pro, you’re dealing with minutia of vocal fold motion, which is invisible but crucial to a high-level professional.
It’s seriously the most amazing thing.
唱歌课如何帮助你唱得更好？
天啊，太酷了。你学过体育运动吗？比方说你想学打篮球,起初，这只是基本规则：不运球是不能跑动的，你把球投入篮框而得分。然后你开始学习一些基本知识，比如防守姿势、如何投篮等。一旦你成为职业球员，世界上的专家会为你回放视频，告诉你如果手腕少转动几毫米，你的投篮弧度会更一致。
学习唱歌就是这么一回事，但更酷的是，很多动作都是在你的身体里无形中发生的。一开始，你学习基本规则：这是你唱歌的调子，等等。然后你开始学习一些基本原理，比如如何考虑呼吸的方式。一旦你成为一名专业人士，你就要处理声带运动的细节，这是看不见的，但对高水平的专业人士来说至关重要。
说真的，这是最令人惊奇的事情。
Muskaan Gul
Why can’t I do anything consistently?
The 1 reason why you can’t be consistent is self-doubt
Every time you doubt yourself, you procrastinate on your dreams.
Every time you doubt yourself, you follow your dreams one day and drop it the next.
You listen to Gary Vee’s motivational podcast and you’re pumped to achieve your goals. You write 1000 words. You’re thrilled. Life is beautiful.
The next day, the tiny voice in your head asks you, “why bother? Why try to be someone you can never be? You don’t have what it takes to succeed. There are many successful people in your field. No one wants to listen to you”.
You stop.
You procrastinate.
Until you hear another motivational speech. Or you become sick of your current state.
You start again.
And then, you stop.
How to break this never-ending cycle
The truth is you might never stop doubting yourself.
Most successful people have experienced self-doubt.
为什么我不能始终如一地做事?
你不能始终如一的一个原因是自我怀疑
每当你怀疑自己的时候，你就会拖延你的梦想。
每当你怀疑自己的时候，总有一天你会追随梦想，但第二天就会放弃梦想。
你听加里威GaryVee的励志播客，你被激励着去实现你的目标。你写了1000字，你很兴奋，生活是美好的。
第二天，你脑子里有个微小的声音问你:“何必烦恼?为什么要尝试成为一个你永远不可能成为的人?你不具备成功的条件。在你的领域里有很多成功人士，没人再想听你说话的。”
你停止、你拖延。
直到你听到另一个励志演讲或者你厌倦了你现在的状态。
你要重新开始。
然后，你停下来。
如何打破这种永无止境的循环
事实是，你可能永远不会停止怀疑自己。
大多数成功人士都经历过自我怀疑。
Why can’t I do anything consistently?
The 1 reason why you can’t be consistent is self-doubt
Every time you doubt yourself, you procrastinate on your dreams.
Every time you doubt yourself, you follow your dreams one day and drop it the next.
You listen to Gary Vee’s motivational podcast and you’re pumped to achieve your goals. You write 1000 words. You’re thrilled. Life is beautiful.
The next day, the tiny voice in your head asks you, “why bother? Why try to be someone you can never be? You don’t have what it takes to succeed. There are many successful people in your field. No one wants to listen to you”.
You stop.
You procrastinate.
Until you hear another motivational speech. Or you become sick of your current state.
You start again.
And then, you stop.
How to break this never-ending cycle
The truth is you might never stop doubting yourself.
Most successful people have experienced self-doubt.
为什么我不能始终如一地做事?
你不能始终如一的一个原因是自我怀疑
每当你怀疑自己的时候，你就会拖延你的梦想。
每当你怀疑自己的时候，总有一天你会追随梦想，但第二天就会放弃梦想。
你听加里威GaryVee的励志播客，你被激励着去实现你的目标。你写了1000字，你很兴奋，生活是美好的。
第二天，你脑子里有个微小的声音问你:“何必烦恼?为什么要尝试成为一个你永远不可能成为的人?你不具备成功的条件。在你的领域里有很多成功人士，没人再想听你说话的。”
你停止、你拖延。
直到你听到另一个励志演讲或者你厌倦了你现在的状态。
你要重新开始。
然后，你停下来。
如何打破这种永无止境的循环
事实是，你可能永远不会停止怀疑自己。
大多数成功人士都经历过自我怀疑。
I was surprised to find this quote by Kobe Bryant, a five-time NBA championship winner:
“I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘my back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt.I just want to chill’. We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.”
Steven Pressfield in Turning Pro talked about self-doubt in a profound way, “turning pro is a mindset. If we are struggling with fear, self-sabotage, procrastination, self-doubt, etc., the problem is, we’re thinking like amateurs.Amateurs crap out. Amateurs let adversity defeat them. The pro thinks differently. He shows up, he does his work, he keeps on truckin’ no matter what”.
You doubt yourself every single day but you show up.
You break this never-ending cycle of inconsistency by doing the work despite the tiny voice in your head.
But I’m sitting here at 8:40 pm writing on Medium.
The tiny voice in my head is telling me not to bother. My stats were not great in my last post. Other writers are more successful than I am. No one wants to listen to me.
But my love for my craft and my desire to make a contribution to the world makes me sit here this evening to write.
I work despite the tiny voice in my head.
I work even if a part of me feels this post might suck.
我惊讶地发现了五次NBA总冠军得主科比·布莱恩特的这句话:
“我会自我怀疑，我有不安全感，我害怕失败。有时晚上我出现在竞技场上，我会说，‘我背疼，脚疼，膝盖疼，我只想冷静下来’。我们都有自我怀疑的心理。你不要否认它，但也不会屈服于它，接受它就好。”
斯蒂夫·帕里斯菲尔德（Steven Pressfield）在《Turning Pro》中以一种深刻的方式谈到了自我怀疑，“成为职业选手是一种心态。如果我们正在与恐惧、自我破坏、拖延、自我怀疑等作斗争，问题是，我们像业余选手一样思考，业余选手会崩溃，业余选手让逆境打败他们。职业选手的想法不同。他会正视它，他会做自己的工作，无论发生什么，他都会全力以赴。”。
你每天都在怀疑自己，但你每天都正视它。
你打破了这种无休止的不一致循环，尽管你脑子里的声音很小，但你还是要做这项工作。
但我晚上8点40分坐在这里，在媒体上写作。
我脑子里有个微小的声音在告诉我不用麻烦了，我上一篇文章的数据不太好，其他作家比我更成功。
但我对我的职业的热爱和对世界做出贡献的渴望，使我今晚坐在这里写作。
我不顾脑海中微弱的声音继续工作。
即使我觉得这篇文章可能很糟糕，我还是会工作。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
“I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘my back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt.I just want to chill’. We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.”
Steven Pressfield in Turning Pro talked about self-doubt in a profound way, “turning pro is a mindset. If we are struggling with fear, self-sabotage, procrastination, self-doubt, etc., the problem is, we’re thinking like amateurs.Amateurs crap out. Amateurs let adversity defeat them. The pro thinks differently. He shows up, he does his work, he keeps on truckin’ no matter what”.
You doubt yourself every single day but you show up.
You break this never-ending cycle of inconsistency by doing the work despite the tiny voice in your head.
But I’m sitting here at 8:40 pm writing on Medium.
The tiny voice in my head is telling me not to bother. My stats were not great in my last post. Other writers are more successful than I am. No one wants to listen to me.
But my love for my craft and my desire to make a contribution to the world makes me sit here this evening to write.
I work despite the tiny voice in my head.
I work even if a part of me feels this post might suck.
我惊讶地发现了五次NBA总冠军得主科比·布莱恩特的这句话:
“我会自我怀疑，我有不安全感，我害怕失败。有时晚上我出现在竞技场上，我会说，‘我背疼，脚疼，膝盖疼，我只想冷静下来’。我们都有自我怀疑的心理。你不要否认它，但也不会屈服于它，接受它就好。”
斯蒂夫·帕里斯菲尔德（Steven Pressfield）在《Turning Pro》中以一种深刻的方式谈到了自我怀疑，“成为职业选手是一种心态。如果我们正在与恐惧、自我破坏、拖延、自我怀疑等作斗争，问题是，我们像业余选手一样思考，业余选手会崩溃，业余选手让逆境打败他们。职业选手的想法不同。他会正视它，他会做自己的工作，无论发生什么，他都会全力以赴。”。
你每天都在怀疑自己，但你每天都正视它。
你打破了这种无休止的不一致循环，尽管你脑子里的声音很小，但你还是要做这项工作。
但我晚上8点40分坐在这里，在媒体上写作。
我脑子里有个微小的声音在告诉我不用麻烦了，我上一篇文章的数据不太好，其他作家比我更成功。
但我对我的职业的热爱和对世界做出贡献的渴望，使我今晚坐在这里写作。
我不顾脑海中微弱的声音继续工作。
即使我觉得这篇文章可能很糟糕，我还是会工作。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Sean Kernan
Why do some people not want children?
I saw this child pulling cereal boxes down one by one in the grocery aisle.
On an airplane, a 2-year-old behind me had a full blown meltdown for 45 minutes straight as the embarrassed parents scrambled to calm him down.
My co-worker, with 4 kids, who makes thousands more than me, is perpetually broke.
Another coworker has a 1, 3 and 5 year old. Every day, he comes into work looking like he has been hit by a train.
My neighbor’s kid took a marker and drew shapes all over his hallway walls. This same child also poured milk over all the carpets that later rotted and stunk up the whole house.
At the local gym daycare, I saw kids having screaming contests on their grief stricken babysitter.
As I lay here in bed at 10 AM, the only thing more beautiful than having kids is the peace and tranquility that comes from not having any freaking kids.
为什么有些人不想要孩子？
我在杂货店的过道里看到一个孩子一个接一个地把麦片盒拉下来。
在飞机上，我身后一个2岁的孩子在连续45分钟里情绪处于失控状态，尴尬的父母争相让他平静下来。
我的同事有4个孩子，比我多赚了数千元，却一直处于身无分文状态。
另一位同事有3个孩子，分别1岁、3岁和5岁。他每天来上班的样子就像被火车撞了一样。
我邻居的孩子用记号笔在走廊的墙上画满了各种形状。这个孩子还把牛奶倒在所有的地毯上，变质后让整个房子散发出臭味。
在当地的健身房日托中心，我看到孩子们对着悲痛欲绝的保姆进行尖叫比赛。
上午10点，当我躺在床上时，唯一比有孩子更美好的事情是没有孩子带来的平静和安宁。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Why do some people not want children?
I saw this child pulling cereal boxes down one by one in the grocery aisle.
On an airplane, a 2-year-old behind me had a full blown meltdown for 45 minutes straight as the embarrassed parents scrambled to calm him down.
My co-worker, with 4 kids, who makes thousands more than me, is perpetually broke.
Another coworker has a 1, 3 and 5 year old. Every day, he comes into work looking like he has been hit by a train.
My neighbor’s kid took a marker and drew shapes all over his hallway walls. This same child also poured milk over all the carpets that later rotted and stunk up the whole house.
At the local gym daycare, I saw kids having screaming contests on their grief stricken babysitter.
As I lay here in bed at 10 AM, the only thing more beautiful than having kids is the peace and tranquility that comes from not having any freaking kids.
为什么有些人不想要孩子？
我在杂货店的过道里看到一个孩子一个接一个地把麦片盒拉下来。
在飞机上，我身后一个2岁的孩子在连续45分钟里情绪处于失控状态，尴尬的父母争相让他平静下来。
我的同事有4个孩子，比我多赚了数千元，却一直处于身无分文状态。
另一位同事有3个孩子，分别1岁、3岁和5岁。他每天来上班的样子就像被火车撞了一样。
我邻居的孩子用记号笔在走廊的墙上画满了各种形状。这个孩子还把牛奶倒在所有的地毯上，变质后让整个房子散发出臭味。
在当地的健身房日托中心，我看到孩子们对着悲痛欲绝的保姆进行尖叫比赛。
上午10点，当我躺在床上时，唯一比有孩子更美好的事情是没有孩子带来的平静和安宁。
原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Elizabeth Belden
What is something you will never forgive?
In 1990, when I was pregnant at almost 40 with my fifth child, we were keeping it pretty quiet. I had miscarried twice in the two years before, so we had only told our parents early on. My mother, because she was worried about me, confided my news to one of her life long friends, someone I thought of as an aunt. My church encouraged groups of 10–12 parishioners to get together on Friday nights for fellowship and a meal. My aunt went to one of these dinners, given by friends of mine, soon after learning of my pregnancy. She thought it was the place to tell everyone that I was pregnant. She then went on to rant about how irresponsible of me it was, how we couldn't afford another child, how our house was too small to hold another child, and that I was selfish for forcing my husband into another baby. She declared that it would be better for me to have an abortion than bring another baby into our family. She went on for so long that the host finally had to tell her that she either had to stop, or she had to leave.
That Sunday after church my friend came up to me and asked if this woman was my aunt. I explained that she wasn't a relation, but an honorary aunt. My friend then said, “I thought she loved you.”My friend then told me what had happened. I was beyond angry. I asked my mom if she had told, and she admitted that she had. I told her what my ‘aunt’ had said and done. This woman had always been pretty clueless about social cues, but this went well beyond that. I told mom that I was never talking with her friend again.
什么是你永远不会原谅的？
1990年，当我快40岁怀上第五个孩子的时候，我们一直很低调。在这之前的两年里，我曾两次流产，所以我们很早就告诉了父母。我母亲因为担心我，把我怀孕的消息告诉了她漫长岁月中的一个朋友，一个我认为是阿姨的人。我所在的教会鼓励10-12名教区居民在周五晚上聚在一起进行联谊和用餐。得知我怀孕的消息后不久，我姑姑就去参加了我朋友们举办的一次晚宴。她认为这是告诉所有人我怀孕了的地方。然后她又开始咆哮起来说我是多么不负责任，我们是如何负担不起另一个孩子，我们的房子太小了，不能再抱一个孩子了，我强迫丈夫再生一个孩子的行为是自私的。她说，对我来说，堕胎比再生一个孩子要好。她说了很长时间，最后主人不得不告诉她，要么停下来，要么离开。
那个星期天做完礼拜后，我的朋友走过来问我，这个女人是不是我的姨妈。我解释说她不是我的亲戚，而是我名义上的阿姨。然后我的朋友说：“我原以为她爱你。”然后我的朋友告诉了我发生了什么事，我非常生气。我问我妈妈有没有告诉她（我怀孕的事），她承认她告诉了。我告诉了她我“阿姨”的言行。这个女人一直都很笨，但这远远不止于此。我告诉妈妈我再也不会和她的朋友说话了。
What is something you will never forgive?
In 1990, when I was pregnant at almost 40 with my fifth child, we were keeping it pretty quiet. I had miscarried twice in the two years before, so we had only told our parents early on. My mother, because she was worried about me, confided my news to one of her life long friends, someone I thought of as an aunt. My church encouraged groups of 10–12 parishioners to get together on Friday nights for fellowship and a meal. My aunt went to one of these dinners, given by friends of mine, soon after learning of my pregnancy. She thought it was the place to tell everyone that I was pregnant. She then went on to rant about how irresponsible of me it was, how we couldn't afford another child, how our house was too small to hold another child, and that I was selfish for forcing my husband into another baby. She declared that it would be better for me to have an abortion than bring another baby into our family. She went on for so long that the host finally had to tell her that she either had to stop, or she had to leave.
That Sunday after church my friend came up to me and asked if this woman was my aunt. I explained that she wasn't a relation, but an honorary aunt. My friend then said, “I thought she loved you.”My friend then told me what had happened. I was beyond angry. I asked my mom if she had told, and she admitted that she had. I told her what my ‘aunt’ had said and done. This woman had always been pretty clueless about social cues, but this went well beyond that. I told mom that I was never talking with her friend again.
什么是你永远不会原谅的？
1990年，当我快40岁怀上第五个孩子的时候，我们一直很低调。在这之前的两年里，我曾两次流产，所以我们很早就告诉了父母。我母亲因为担心我，把我怀孕的消息告诉了她漫长岁月中的一个朋友，一个我认为是阿姨的人。我所在的教会鼓励10-12名教区居民在周五晚上聚在一起进行联谊和用餐。得知我怀孕的消息后不久，我姑姑就去参加了我朋友们举办的一次晚宴。她认为这是告诉所有人我怀孕了的地方。然后她又开始咆哮起来说我是多么不负责任，我们是如何负担不起另一个孩子，我们的房子太小了，不能再抱一个孩子了，我强迫丈夫再生一个孩子的行为是自私的。她说，对我来说，堕胎比再生一个孩子要好。她说了很长时间，最后主人不得不告诉她，要么停下来，要么离开。
那个星期天做完礼拜后，我的朋友走过来问我，这个女人是不是我的姨妈。我解释说她不是我的亲戚，而是我名义上的阿姨。然后我的朋友说：“我原以为她爱你。”然后我的朋友告诉了我发生了什么事，我非常生气。我问我妈妈有没有告诉她（我怀孕的事），她承认她告诉了。我告诉了她我“阿姨”的言行。这个女人一直都很笨，但这远远不止于此。我告诉妈妈我再也不会和她的朋友说话了。
When our son was born, after four daughters, she tried to congratulate me on ‘getting the boy I’d always wanted’. I turned and walked away. We hadn't kept having babies to have a boy. What a disgusting thing to think. So, our girls weren't good enough? We were going for healthy. I have forgiven many things in my 69 years, but I never forgave her, and I never talked to her again. If that makes me a bad person, so be it. For her to say that a child would be better aborted than born into my family was unforgivable.
Here's a photo of that baby (my awesome son, all grown up now) with his beautiful wife. They are both engineers, living & working in NYC. As I’ve said, this was 30 years ago. That aunt died 16 years ago. I do not think of her often, and when I do, it’s not with any animus. It’s long over and quite done, but when this question was posed, this is what came to mind. My sister and I have since wondered if she was on the autism spectrum. As she was born in 1921, it wasn’t anything anyone ever considered.
Please know that if you feel compelled to explain to me why I should have forgiveness in my heart, I will find you judgemental and smug to think that you know what I should have done 30 years ago better than me. I am fine with my relationship with God and Jesus, thank you.
当我们的儿子在继四个女儿后出生时，她试图祝贺我“得到了我一直想要的男孩”，我转身走开了。我们一直生孩子不是为了生个男孩。想想真恶心。这样说来，我们的女孩不够好？我们要的是健康。在我69年的岁月里，我原谅过很多事情，但我从未原谅过她，也从未再和她说话。如果这让我成为一个坏人，那就顺其自然吧。她说“我家与其再生一个，不如流产”，这是不可原谅的。
这是那个婴儿(我那了不起的儿子，现在都长大了)和他美丽的妻子的照片。他们都是工程师，在纽约生活和工作。正如我所说，这是30年前的事了，那位阿姨16年前去世了。我不经常想起她，当我想起她的时候，也没有任何敌意。这件事已经过去很久了，但当这个问题被提出时，我想到的是这个。从那以后，我和姐姐一直在怀疑她是否属于自闭症。由于她出生于1921年，不过没有人考虑过这个问题。
请明白，如果你觉得有必要向我解释为什么我应该心怀宽恕，我会发现你自以为是，自以为是地认为你比我更清楚30年前我应该做什么，我对我与上帝和耶稣的关系很满意，谢谢。
Here's a photo of that baby (my awesome son, all grown up now) with his beautiful wife. They are both engineers, living & working in NYC. As I’ve said, this was 30 years ago. That aunt died 16 years ago. I do not think of her often, and when I do, it’s not with any animus. It’s long over and quite done, but when this question was posed, this is what came to mind. My sister and I have since wondered if she was on the autism spectrum. As she was born in 1921, it wasn’t anything anyone ever considered.
Please know that if you feel compelled to explain to me why I should have forgiveness in my heart, I will find you judgemental and smug to think that you know what I should have done 30 years ago better than me. I am fine with my relationship with God and Jesus, thank you.
当我们的儿子在继四个女儿后出生时，她试图祝贺我“得到了我一直想要的男孩”，我转身走开了。我们一直生孩子不是为了生个男孩。想想真恶心。这样说来，我们的女孩不够好？我们要的是健康。在我69年的岁月里，我原谅过很多事情，但我从未原谅过她，也从未再和她说话。如果这让我成为一个坏人，那就顺其自然吧。她说“我家与其再生一个，不如流产”，这是不可原谅的。
这是那个婴儿(我那了不起的儿子，现在都长大了)和他美丽的妻子的照片。他们都是工程师，在纽约生活和工作。正如我所说，这是30年前的事了，那位阿姨16年前去世了。我不经常想起她，当我想起她的时候，也没有任何敌意。这件事已经过去很久了，但当这个问题被提出时，我想到的是这个。从那以后，我和姐姐一直在怀疑她是否属于自闭症。由于她出生于1921年，不过没有人考虑过这个问题。
请明白，如果你觉得有必要向我解释为什么我应该心怀宽恕，我会发现你自以为是，自以为是地认为你比我更清楚30年前我应该做什么，我对我与上帝和耶稣的关系很满意，谢谢。
Tyler Solomon
Is there something wrong with me if I don't want friends?
A lot of people are saying No, there’s nothing wrong but then adding a however. There is no however needed. I find that forcing myself to be nice and friendly with people just because they are nice and friendly with me is rather draining. Even if I have a day of excitement for being around them, after about 2–3 hours with them (sometimes shorter) I am drained and would rather be at home. I really enjoy staying by myself and not having the complications that comes with friendships and relationships. I don’t mind getting to know people as acquaintances but sharing numbers and having unwritten rules? I am so over that.
如果我不想要朋友，是不是我有什么问题?
很多人说，不，没有错，但是加了个“然而”，无论如何我都不需要朋友。我发现，仅仅因为别人对我好、对我友好，就强迫自己对他们好、对他们友好，这让我很疲惫。即使我在某天和他们在一起很兴奋，和他们在一起2-3个小时(有时更短)后，我就筋疲力尽了，宁愿呆在家里。我真的很喜欢一个人呆着，没有友谊和人际带来的并发症。我不介意以熟人的身份去了解别人，但至于分享电话号码和不成文的规则?我就不乐意了。
Is there something wrong with me if I don't want friends?
A lot of people are saying No, there’s nothing wrong but then adding a however. There is no however needed. I find that forcing myself to be nice and friendly with people just because they are nice and friendly with me is rather draining. Even if I have a day of excitement for being around them, after about 2–3 hours with them (sometimes shorter) I am drained and would rather be at home. I really enjoy staying by myself and not having the complications that comes with friendships and relationships. I don’t mind getting to know people as acquaintances but sharing numbers and having unwritten rules? I am so over that.
如果我不想要朋友，是不是我有什么问题?
很多人说，不，没有错，但是加了个“然而”，无论如何我都不需要朋友。我发现，仅仅因为别人对我好、对我友好，就强迫自己对他们好、对他们友好，这让我很疲惫。即使我在某天和他们在一起很兴奋，和他们在一起2-3个小时(有时更短)后，我就筋疲力尽了，宁愿呆在家里。我真的很喜欢一个人呆着，没有友谊和人际带来的并发症。我不介意以熟人的身份去了解别人，但至于分享电话号码和不成文的规则?我就不乐意了。
Samanwita Kar
What type of people should I not trust in life?
I tried to SELL a phone over OLX in Bengaluru. (OLX is a website to sell and buy used goods.)
1. Over friendly Bengali guy calls me for 12 mins to convince me that he will send me the money right now and will collect the phone later because I am like his 'sister' and he 'trusts' me. I refuse and say I will take money when i give phone. He forces because he really really wants the phone. I refuse. He insists again. I give him account number but also ask him not to send before I send him a copy of my aadhar card. He says, "I trust you". He does not send money.
2. He comes to my house same evening (he said he would not be able to come in the next 5 days) and checks the phone. With the phone in his hand, he leaves to withdraw money from ATM. I ask him to give back the phone and he says, "Why can't you trust me when I trust you?". I remain silent and take back the phone.
3. He comes back within 10 seconds to say his ATM card is lost. He does not look concerned and calls somebody to block his card and finishes the entire call in less than a minute (which bank I wonder!). He asks me to handover the phone to him and that he will transfer money once he reaches home because he does not know his internet banking password. I refuse. He gets offended and says "Being a bengali, why can't you trust another bengali". I do not reply.
4. He suddenly remembers his password. He adds me as a beneficiary and says, "Now it will take 30 mins for the bank to allow me to send money. since I have added you, I will give you money. I am in hurry. Please give me the phone". I refuse and ask him to wait. He explains me how adding me as a beneficiary will compel him to send me money. I am almost convinced that I am with a fraud. I become extra cautious.
在生活中我不应该信任什么样的人?
我试着在班加罗尔的OLX平台上卖一部手机。（OLX是一个出售和购买二手商品的网站。）
1.一个友好的孟加拉人给我打了12分钟的电话，让我相信他马上把钱寄给我，稍后再来拿手机，因为我就像他的“妹妹”，他“信任”我。我拒绝了，并说我给电话时拿钱就好。他强迫我收钱是因为他真的很想要这部手机。我拒绝了，他又在坚持了。我给了他账号，但也让他在我发给他我的Aadhar 卡之前不要转账。他说:“我相信你。”他没转钱。
2.他当天晚上来我家（他说他在未来5天内不能来），并检查了手机。他手里拿着手机，离开去自动柜员机取钱。我让他把手机还给我，他说：“我信任你，你为什么不能信任我？”。我保持沉默，收回了手机。
3.他不到10秒就回来说他的ATM卡丢了。他看起来并不担心，打电话给某人屏蔽他的卡，并在不到一分钟的时间内完成了整个通话（我想知道是哪家银行！）。他让我把手机交给他，他到家后会转账给我，因为他不知道自己的网上银行密码，我拒绝了。他生气了，说：“作为一个孟加拉人，你为什么不能相信另一个孟加拉人”，我没理他。
4.他突然想起了自己的密码。他把我列为收款人 ，说：“现在银行需要30分钟才能允许我汇款。既然我把你列为收款人，我就会给你钱的。我很着急，请把手机给我。”。我拒绝了，让他等一下。他向我解释了将我作为收款人会迫使他给我转钱。我几乎确信我和一个骗子在聊天。我变得格外谨慎。
What type of people should I not trust in life?
I tried to SELL a phone over OLX in Bengaluru. (OLX is a website to sell and buy used goods.)
1. Over friendly Bengali guy calls me for 12 mins to convince me that he will send me the money right now and will collect the phone later because I am like his 'sister' and he 'trusts' me. I refuse and say I will take money when i give phone. He forces because he really really wants the phone. I refuse. He insists again. I give him account number but also ask him not to send before I send him a copy of my aadhar card. He says, "I trust you". He does not send money.
2. He comes to my house same evening (he said he would not be able to come in the next 5 days) and checks the phone. With the phone in his hand, he leaves to withdraw money from ATM. I ask him to give back the phone and he says, "Why can't you trust me when I trust you?". I remain silent and take back the phone.
3. He comes back within 10 seconds to say his ATM card is lost. He does not look concerned and calls somebody to block his card and finishes the entire call in less than a minute (which bank I wonder!). He asks me to handover the phone to him and that he will transfer money once he reaches home because he does not know his internet banking password. I refuse. He gets offended and says "Being a bengali, why can't you trust another bengali". I do not reply.
4. He suddenly remembers his password. He adds me as a beneficiary and says, "Now it will take 30 mins for the bank to allow me to send money. since I have added you, I will give you money. I am in hurry. Please give me the phone". I refuse and ask him to wait. He explains me how adding me as a beneficiary will compel him to send me money. I am almost convinced that I am with a fraud. I become extra cautious.
在生活中我不应该信任什么样的人?
我试着在班加罗尔的OLX平台上卖一部手机。（OLX是一个出售和购买二手商品的网站。）
1.一个友好的孟加拉人给我打了12分钟的电话，让我相信他马上把钱寄给我，稍后再来拿手机，因为我就像他的“妹妹”，他“信任”我。我拒绝了，并说我给电话时拿钱就好。他强迫我收钱是因为他真的很想要这部手机。我拒绝了，他又在坚持了。我给了他账号，但也让他在我发给他我的Aadhar 卡之前不要转账。他说:“我相信你。”他没转钱。
2.他当天晚上来我家（他说他在未来5天内不能来），并检查了手机。他手里拿着手机，离开去自动柜员机取钱。我让他把手机还给我，他说：“我信任你，你为什么不能信任我？”。我保持沉默，收回了手机。
3.他不到10秒就回来说他的ATM卡丢了。他看起来并不担心，打电话给某人屏蔽他的卡，并在不到一分钟的时间内完成了整个通话（我想知道是哪家银行！）。他让我把手机交给他，他到家后会转账给我，因为他不知道自己的网上银行密码，我拒绝了。他生气了，说：“作为一个孟加拉人，你为什么不能相信另一个孟加拉人”，我没理他。
4.他突然想起了自己的密码。他把我列为收款人 ，说：“现在银行需要30分钟才能允许我汇款。既然我把你列为收款人，我就会给你钱的。我很着急，请把手机给我。”。我拒绝了，让他等一下。他向我解释了将我作为收款人会迫使他给我转钱。我几乎确信我和一个骗子在聊天。我变得格外谨慎。
5. In the span of next half an hour, several times he tries to say where he lives, what his wife does and other personal information. Once, he gets a urgent phone call and runs out of the house with my phone in his hand. I run after him and take the phone back. He comes back finishing the call in the very next moment.
6. After half an hour, the transfer is still not possible due to technical issue (he says) and I offer paytm or phone-pe. But he does not receive any OTP even after registering. Several attempts all failed (probably because he was giving some other phone number while registering).
7. He wants my father to accompany him to his house, collect money and come back. We all refuse to go anywhere with him. We ask him to come back tomorrow. He gets pissed off, says how we do not trust him even when he called me his sister, how we, being a Bengali, do not help a Bengali, how we wasted his time etc. He almost leaves.
8. He comes back to request me as his little sister to give him the phone since his phone is broken and he is in deep trouble. We refuse to be kind enough. He leaves, with 'that' look in his eyes.
We keep on discussing for the next one hour how many attempts he made to cheat us on a phone worth Rs 3000.
You don’t trust a stranger.
You don’t trust people who ‘trust’ you for no reason. Then you are morally obligated to trust them for bigger things and suffer loss.
You don’t trust people who refuse to behave rationally.
You don’t trust somebody where you have a chance to suffer loss.
5.在接下来的半个小时里，他多次试图说出自己住在哪里，妻子做什么以及其他个人信息。有一次，他接到一个紧急电话，手里拿着我的手机跑出了房子。我追着他，把手机拿了回来，他马上就回来接电话了。
6.半个小时后，由于技术问题（他说），仍然没能转账，我提供paytm和phonepe的移动收款码。但即使在注册后，他也没有收到任何一次性密码（ OTP ）。几次尝试都失败了（可能是因为他在注册时提供了其它电话号码）。
7.他想让我父亲陪他去他家，然后拿钱回来。我们都拒绝和他一起去任何地方。我们请他明天再来，对此他很生气，说我们怎么不信任他，即使他叫我为他的妹妹也不行，我们作为一个孟加拉人，怎么不帮助他这个孟加拉人，我们是怎么浪费他的时间等等，他几乎要离开了。
8.他回来要求我作为他的妹妹，再要我把手机给他，因为他的手机坏了，并因此陷入了困境。我们拒绝付出“这种好心”。他离开了，眼睛里带着“那样”的表情。
在接下来的一个小时里，我们一直在讨论他试图在价值3000卢比的手机上欺骗我们多少次。
你不要信任陌生人。
你不要信任那些无端“信任”你的人。若信任他们，那么你在道德上就有义务相信他们，在更重大的事情上就因信任他们而遭受损失。
你不要信任那些拒绝理性行事的人。
在你有可能遭受损失的地方，你不要相信别人。
6. After half an hour, the transfer is still not possible due to technical issue (he says) and I offer paytm or phone-pe. But he does not receive any OTP even after registering. Several attempts all failed (probably because he was giving some other phone number while registering).
7. He wants my father to accompany him to his house, collect money and come back. We all refuse to go anywhere with him. We ask him to come back tomorrow. He gets pissed off, says how we do not trust him even when he called me his sister, how we, being a Bengali, do not help a Bengali, how we wasted his time etc. He almost leaves.
8. He comes back to request me as his little sister to give him the phone since his phone is broken and he is in deep trouble. We refuse to be kind enough. He leaves, with 'that' look in his eyes.
We keep on discussing for the next one hour how many attempts he made to cheat us on a phone worth Rs 3000.
You don’t trust a stranger.
You don’t trust people who ‘trust’ you for no reason. Then you are morally obligated to trust them for bigger things and suffer loss.
You don’t trust people who refuse to behave rationally.
You don’t trust somebody where you have a chance to suffer loss.
5.在接下来的半个小时里，他多次试图说出自己住在哪里，妻子做什么以及其他个人信息。有一次，他接到一个紧急电话，手里拿着我的手机跑出了房子。我追着他，把手机拿了回来，他马上就回来接电话了。
6.半个小时后，由于技术问题（他说），仍然没能转账，我提供paytm和phonepe的移动收款码。但即使在注册后，他也没有收到任何一次性密码（ OTP ）。几次尝试都失败了（可能是因为他在注册时提供了其它电话号码）。
7.他想让我父亲陪他去他家，然后拿钱回来。我们都拒绝和他一起去任何地方。我们请他明天再来，对此他很生气，说我们怎么不信任他，即使他叫我为他的妹妹也不行，我们作为一个孟加拉人，怎么不帮助他这个孟加拉人，我们是怎么浪费他的时间等等，他几乎要离开了。
8.他回来要求我作为他的妹妹，再要我把手机给他，因为他的手机坏了，并因此陷入了困境。我们拒绝付出“这种好心”。他离开了，眼睛里带着“那样”的表情。
在接下来的一个小时里，我们一直在讨论他试图在价值3000卢比的手机上欺骗我们多少次。
你不要信任陌生人。
你不要信任那些无端“信任”你的人。若信任他们，那么你在道德上就有义务相信他们，在更重大的事情上就因信任他们而遭受损失。
你不要信任那些拒绝理性行事的人。
在你有可能遭受损失的地方，你不要相信别人。
Josh Fechter
I read 170 business books in a year.
After the tenth book, I became an addict.
My entire routine was built around reading.
I’d wake up at 5 a.m., then read for three hours before work.
Ten minute lunch break?
I’d read.
Two hours before I’d go to sleep?
I’d read.
I couldn’t stop.
I skipped events with friends, family, and even the gym.
All I could think about is one more page.
It got darker -
When I wasn’t reading, I got anxious.
It’s like I was a homeless addict and a drug had been taken away from me.
我一年读了170本商业书籍。
在看完第十本书后，我就沉迷于读书了。
我的整个日常生活都是围绕阅读展开的。
我早上5点起床，然后在上班前读三个小时书。
十分钟午休？我读书。
我睡觉前两个小时？我读书。
我停不下来。
我不参加与朋友、家人的活动，甚至不去健身房。
我所能想到的就是多读一页书。
锋利的焦点。
天色越来越暗：
当我不读书的时候，我很焦虑。
就好像我是一个无家可归的瘾君子，把毒品从我身上拿走了。
I read 170 business books in a year.
After the tenth book, I became an addict.
My entire routine was built around reading.
I’d wake up at 5 a.m., then read for three hours before work.
Ten minute lunch break?
I’d read.
Two hours before I’d go to sleep?
I’d read.
I couldn’t stop.
I skipped events with friends, family, and even the gym.
All I could think about is one more page.
It got darker -
When I wasn’t reading, I got anxious.
It’s like I was a homeless addict and a drug had been taken away from me.
我一年读了170本商业书籍。
在看完第十本书后，我就沉迷于读书了。
我的整个日常生活都是围绕阅读展开的。
我早上5点起床，然后在上班前读三个小时书。
十分钟午休？我读书。
我睡觉前两个小时？我读书。
我停不下来。
我不参加与朋友、家人的活动，甚至不去健身房。
我所能想到的就是多读一页书。
锋利的焦点。
天色越来越暗：
当我不读书的时候，我很焦虑。
就好像我是一个无家可归的瘾君子，把毒品从我身上拿走了。
What I realized -
I had built reading into my routine.
After the second week of reading five hours every day, no longer did it feel like a chore. My body and mind were adjusted. It craved more of it.
What I learned is that sharp focus is built on addiction.
You know you’re addicted when you have a compulsive feeling to do something.
It’s not a bad feeling.
It’s what keeps a NBA player motivated to train every morning at 5 a.m.
A physicist solving some of the most complex math equations.
A doctor working 18 hrs. a day to care for their patients.
Most of us have this feeling many times a day.
I need to close another sales deal.
I need to eat another candy bar.
I need another cup of coffee.
I need to surf today.
We all have addictions because we all have routines.
And routines foster addiction - the core element of razor-sharp focus.
我意识到：
我已把阅读纳入日常生活。
在每天阅读五个小时的第二周之后，这不再是一件烦人的事。我的身心都得到了调整。它渴望读更多的书。
我学到的是，敏锐的注意力是建立在上瘾上的。
当你有一种强迫性的感觉去做某事时，你就知道你上瘾了。
感觉不错。
这就是NBA球员每天早上5点训练的动力所在。
物理学家正在解一些最复杂的数学方程。
医生每天工作18小时照顾病人。
我们大多数人每天都会有很多次这样的感觉。
我需要完成另一笔交易。
我需要再吃一块糖果。
我还需要一杯咖啡。
我今天需要去冲浪。
我们都有入迷之事，因为我们都有惯例。
而日常习惯会让人上瘾——这是保持敏锐注意力的核心要素。
I had built reading into my routine.
After the second week of reading five hours every day, no longer did it feel like a chore. My body and mind were adjusted. It craved more of it.
What I learned is that sharp focus is built on addiction.
You know you’re addicted when you have a compulsive feeling to do something.
It’s not a bad feeling.
It’s what keeps a NBA player motivated to train every morning at 5 a.m.
A physicist solving some of the most complex math equations.
A doctor working 18 hrs. a day to care for their patients.
Most of us have this feeling many times a day.
I need to close another sales deal.
I need to eat another candy bar.
I need another cup of coffee.
I need to surf today.
We all have addictions because we all have routines.
And routines foster addiction - the core element of razor-sharp focus.
我意识到：
我已把阅读纳入日常生活。
在每天阅读五个小时的第二周之后，这不再是一件烦人的事。我的身心都得到了调整。它渴望读更多的书。
我学到的是，敏锐的注意力是建立在上瘾上的。
当你有一种强迫性的感觉去做某事时，你就知道你上瘾了。
感觉不错。
这就是NBA球员每天早上5点训练的动力所在。
物理学家正在解一些最复杂的数学方程。
医生每天工作18小时照顾病人。
我们大多数人每天都会有很多次这样的感觉。
我需要完成另一笔交易。
我需要再吃一块糖果。
我还需要一杯咖啡。
我今天需要去冲浪。
我们都有入迷之事，因为我们都有惯例。
而日常习惯会让人上瘾——这是保持敏锐注意力的核心要素。
Kasey Tross
Have you some useful tips for singing?
As a singer and a musician who has been taught to sing and taught others to sing, here are my top tips:
Breathe correctly. Think of the air bypassing your lungs and getting pulled down into your abdomen. If your stomach expands when you breathe in, you’re doing it correctly. This helps to support the notes and gives you a nice, full sound.
When learning a song, look at the notes. This seems like a no-brainer, but it’s not something singers always do. I once had a young student who was really struggling with a solo. She also played piano, so I knew she could read music. I told her to think of her voice like a musical instrument, and to read the notes as she sang. The change was almost instantaneous. That one tip helped her tremendously, and she was easily able to hit notes she’d struggled with before.
Hear the next note in your head before you sing it. This one kind of goes along with #2, but it is a little trickier to master. But if you can do it, it really helps. It physiologically primes your vocal chords to sing the next note in tune.
Once you know the song, feel it. As you’re learning a song, it’s very important to focus on technique and precision, but once you’ve practiced it and you know it, let expression take over. Let those crescendos and decrescendos come, let your voice crack and let your emotions do the talking. An imperfect solo sung with feeling will beat a perfectly sung emotionless solo every single time.
你有一些有用的唱歌技巧吗？
作为一名歌手和音乐家，我被教导唱歌，也教导其他人唱歌，以下是我的最佳建议：
正确呼吸。想象一下，空气穿过你的肺部，被拉进你的腹部。如果你的胃在吸气时扩张，那么你的做法是正确的。这有助于支持音符，给你一个漂亮的，完整的声音。
学一首歌时，看音符。这似乎是显而易见的，但歌手并不总是这么做。我曾经有一个年轻的学生，他在独唱方面很吃力。她也弹钢琴，所以我知道她能读懂乐谱。我告诉她把自己的声音想象成一件乐器，唱的时候要读音符。这种变化几乎是瞬间发生的。这条建议给了她很大的帮助，她很容易就能唱出之前一直纠结的音符。
在你唱之前，先听听你脑子里的下一个音符。这个音符有点像#2，但掌握起来有点难。但如果你能做到，那真的很有帮助。它在生理上为你的声带做好准备，以演唱下一个音符。
一旦你知道了这首歌，就去感受它。当你学习一首歌时，专注于技巧和准确性是非常重要的，但一旦你练习过了，你就知道了，让表情来主导。让声音变得渐强和渐弱吧，让你的声音嘶哑起来——让你的情绪来说话。一个不完美的充满感情的独唱每次都会击败一个完美的没有感情的独唱。
Have you some useful tips for singing?
As a singer and a musician who has been taught to sing and taught others to sing, here are my top tips:
Breathe correctly. Think of the air bypassing your lungs and getting pulled down into your abdomen. If your stomach expands when you breathe in, you’re doing it correctly. This helps to support the notes and gives you a nice, full sound.
When learning a song, look at the notes. This seems like a no-brainer, but it’s not something singers always do. I once had a young student who was really struggling with a solo. She also played piano, so I knew she could read music. I told her to think of her voice like a musical instrument, and to read the notes as she sang. The change was almost instantaneous. That one tip helped her tremendously, and she was easily able to hit notes she’d struggled with before.
Hear the next note in your head before you sing it. This one kind of goes along with #2, but it is a little trickier to master. But if you can do it, it really helps. It physiologically primes your vocal chords to sing the next note in tune.
Once you know the song, feel it. As you’re learning a song, it’s very important to focus on technique and precision, but once you’ve practiced it and you know it, let expression take over. Let those crescendos and decrescendos come, let your voice crack and let your emotions do the talking. An imperfect solo sung with feeling will beat a perfectly sung emotionless solo every single time.
你有一些有用的唱歌技巧吗？
作为一名歌手和音乐家，我被教导唱歌，也教导其他人唱歌，以下是我的最佳建议：
正确呼吸。想象一下，空气穿过你的肺部，被拉进你的腹部。如果你的胃在吸气时扩张，那么你的做法是正确的。这有助于支持音符，给你一个漂亮的，完整的声音。
学一首歌时，看音符。这似乎是显而易见的，但歌手并不总是这么做。我曾经有一个年轻的学生，他在独唱方面很吃力。她也弹钢琴，所以我知道她能读懂乐谱。我告诉她把自己的声音想象成一件乐器，唱的时候要读音符。这种变化几乎是瞬间发生的。这条建议给了她很大的帮助，她很容易就能唱出之前一直纠结的音符。
在你唱之前，先听听你脑子里的下一个音符。这个音符有点像#2，但掌握起来有点难。但如果你能做到，那真的很有帮助。它在生理上为你的声带做好准备，以演唱下一个音符。
一旦你知道了这首歌，就去感受它。当你学习一首歌时，专注于技巧和准确性是非常重要的，但一旦你练习过了，你就知道了，让表情来主导。让声音变得渐强和渐弱吧，让你的声音嘶哑起来——让你的情绪来说话。一个不完美的充满感情的独唱每次都会击败一个完美的没有感情的独唱。
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