美国网友控诉吸血父母，欧美孝道与代际赡养引发网友激烈讨论
正文翻译
You Don't Owe Your Parents Anything
你根本不欠父母任何东西
Neither of my retirement aged parents have anything saved for retirement. That's fine because this country disproportionately helps seniors and Medicare and Medicaid are meant primarily for seniors.
我那两位已到退休年纪的父母，没为养老存下一分钱。这倒无妨，毕竟美国对老年群体的福利扶持力度偏高，联邦医保与医疗补助本就主要面向老年人。
My father especially dodged work all his life. He has been hinting lately that he wants financial help from me and my grandma. He has asked me before and has asked them before.
我父亲这辈子更是常年逃避工作，最近总旁敲侧击，想让我和奶奶给他经济接济，这种事他以前就找我们要过不止一次。
Let me just be clear- I have helped him plenty and my grandma gave him a house and land that he sold for less than it was worth to "go travel" while I was young and still needing parents.
我把话说明白 —— 我早就帮过他不少，奶奶还赠予他房产和土地，可他低价变卖拿钱去 “周游世界”，那时我年纪尚小，正是需要父母照顾的时候。
I saw a similar post on this subreddit but I want to let you all know: let your parents be wards of the state.
我在这个论坛看过类似帖子，今天只想告诉大家：就让父母依靠国家福利养老就好。
They will eventually turn into bottomless pits that you throw money into.
他们早晚会变成无底洞，不断消耗你的积蓄。
They have to spend down their assets and savings to qualify for Medicaid anyway, so just let them spend it quickly and become wards of the state.
况且申领医疗补助本就需要耗尽名下资产存款，不如让他们尽快花完，直接接受政府帮扶。
As a young person, you are largely on your own and either on the streets or working for your keep.
年轻人大多只能靠自己，要么拼命工作谋生，要么就只能流落街头。
Your parents are privileged to be able to rely on the taxpayer, so let them. I will never give another dime to my mom or dad and I feel zero guilt.
父母有资格依靠纳税人福利生活，那就随他们去。我再也不会给父母一分钱，内心毫无愧疚。
Edited to add:
补充说明：
thanks all for the comments! I don't live in a filial responsibility state
感谢大家的留言！我所在的州，没有强制子女赡养父母的法律规定。
Also, to the person who recommended therapy for me:
另外，回复那位建议我去做心理疏导的网友：
Thanks, babe, but I'm very happy with kids and successful relationships with a 10 yr marriage and community supports through my church and business. Very happy and well adjusted.
谢谢你的关心，但我现在生活美满，有孩子、婚姻稳定已十年，教会和事业上都有人脉支持，心态平和，生活顺遂。
Not everyone needs to put a bandaid over unnecessary parental relationships and insist that abusive people maintain a presence in their lives.
不是所有人都要勉强维系无意义的亲子关系，更没必要纵容有伤害行为的亲人留在身边。
My children don't need to be around abuse and neither do I.
我的孩子不该身处伤害环境，我自己也一样。
I hope that you keep all relationships with anyone who abuses you, because it's very important for you. Good luck
祝你能和所有伤害过你的人好好相处，毕竟这对你意义重大，祝你安好。
So many boomers had all the opportunities in the World, opportunities I would have killed for.
婴儿潮那一代人，坐拥我们梦寐以求的所有机遇。
Modern healthcare isn't for everyone. Not everyone is meant to live to 100 or even 80.
现代医疗资源并非人人享有，也不是所有人都必须活到八十岁，乃至一百岁。
I didn't choose to enter this world. I did, however, choose to have kids and I chose that so that I could give two people the best childhoods and lives and that's exactly what I'm doing.
我从未选择来到这个世界，但我主动选择生孩子。我成为父母，是想给孩子最好的童年与人生，而我也一直践行着这个承诺。
You Don't Owe Your Parents Anything
你根本不欠父母任何东西
Neither of my retirement aged parents have anything saved for retirement. That's fine because this country disproportionately helps seniors and Medicare and Medicaid are meant primarily for seniors.
我那两位已到退休年纪的父母，没为养老存下一分钱。这倒无妨，毕竟美国对老年群体的福利扶持力度偏高，联邦医保与医疗补助本就主要面向老年人。
My father especially dodged work all his life. He has been hinting lately that he wants financial help from me and my grandma. He has asked me before and has asked them before.
我父亲这辈子更是常年逃避工作，最近总旁敲侧击，想让我和奶奶给他经济接济，这种事他以前就找我们要过不止一次。
Let me just be clear- I have helped him plenty and my grandma gave him a house and land that he sold for less than it was worth to "go travel" while I was young and still needing parents.
我把话说明白 —— 我早就帮过他不少，奶奶还赠予他房产和土地，可他低价变卖拿钱去 “周游世界”，那时我年纪尚小，正是需要父母照顾的时候。
I saw a similar post on this subreddit but I want to let you all know: let your parents be wards of the state.
我在这个论坛看过类似帖子，今天只想告诉大家：就让父母依靠国家福利养老就好。
They will eventually turn into bottomless pits that you throw money into.
他们早晚会变成无底洞，不断消耗你的积蓄。
They have to spend down their assets and savings to qualify for Medicaid anyway, so just let them spend it quickly and become wards of the state.
况且申领医疗补助本就需要耗尽名下资产存款，不如让他们尽快花完，直接接受政府帮扶。
As a young person, you are largely on your own and either on the streets or working for your keep.
年轻人大多只能靠自己，要么拼命工作谋生，要么就只能流落街头。
Your parents are privileged to be able to rely on the taxpayer, so let them. I will never give another dime to my mom or dad and I feel zero guilt.
父母有资格依靠纳税人福利生活，那就随他们去。我再也不会给父母一分钱，内心毫无愧疚。
Edited to add:
补充说明：
thanks all for the comments! I don't live in a filial responsibility state
感谢大家的留言！我所在的州，没有强制子女赡养父母的法律规定。
Also, to the person who recommended therapy for me:
另外，回复那位建议我去做心理疏导的网友：
Thanks, babe, but I'm very happy with kids and successful relationships with a 10 yr marriage and community supports through my church and business. Very happy and well adjusted.
谢谢你的关心，但我现在生活美满，有孩子、婚姻稳定已十年，教会和事业上都有人脉支持，心态平和，生活顺遂。
Not everyone needs to put a bandaid over unnecessary parental relationships and insist that abusive people maintain a presence in their lives.
不是所有人都要勉强维系无意义的亲子关系，更没必要纵容有伤害行为的亲人留在身边。
My children don't need to be around abuse and neither do I.
我的孩子不该身处伤害环境，我自己也一样。
I hope that you keep all relationships with anyone who abuses you, because it's very important for you. Good luck
祝你能和所有伤害过你的人好好相处，毕竟这对你意义重大，祝你安好。
So many boomers had all the opportunities in the World, opportunities I would have killed for.
婴儿潮那一代人，坐拥我们梦寐以求的所有机遇。
Modern healthcare isn't for everyone. Not everyone is meant to live to 100 or even 80.
现代医疗资源并非人人享有，也不是所有人都必须活到八十岁，乃至一百岁。
I didn't choose to enter this world. I did, however, choose to have kids and I chose that so that I could give two people the best childhoods and lives and that's exactly what I'm doing.
我从未选择来到这个世界，但我主动选择生孩子。我成为父母，是想给孩子最好的童年与人生，而我也一直践行着这个承诺。
评论翻译
@DizzyPoppy
Nursing home cna here. It's okay. We're here so that you can live your life. Don't feel guilty at all.
我是养老院护理人员。这真的没关系，有我们照料，你只管过好自己的日子，完全不必愧疚。
We see this all the time. Neglectful parents, abusive parents, and many times, good parents that just need extra eyes and care. Also, we need our jobs too lol
这种情况我们见得太多：失职、施暴的父母，也有很多只是需要专人照料的好父母。况且说实话，我们也需要这份工作，哈哈。
@gingersusie
I remember when I was in my 30's and my aunt told me I would have to "quit my job" and "take care of my father" (who sexually abused me from age 9) but they would "let me go home on the weekends".
我三十多岁的时候，姑姑让我辞掉工作去照顾我父亲，而我父亲从九岁起就性侵我，她居然还说 “周末可以让你回自己家”。
I literally LOL'd. Stopped taking her calls. Never talked to her again.
我当时直接笑出声，从那之后再也没接她电话，和她彻底断联。
@Redrum874
If one of my dad’s sisters contacted me to say something like this, I would also have a hearty laugh before blocking them.
要是我姑姑们敢说这种话，我也会大笑一场，然后直接拉黑。
I didn’t even meet my dad until I was 19 years old. If he feels owed something by me, he can go right on feeling.
我十九岁才第一次见到亲生父亲，他要是觉得我欠他什么，尽管这么想就好。
@InevitableOk459
I blocked my mom almost two decades ago but somehow she got my wife's email and wrote my wife asking for help (which is crazy because my mom is rich AF and my wife and I live just above poverty line), my wife replied said "No thanks". We haven't heard from her since.
我快二十年前就拉黑了母亲，可她弄到我妻子邮箱发邮件求助。这很离谱，我母亲家境优渥，而我和妻子仅够温饱。我妻子只回了 “恕难从命”，此后她再无音讯。
My mother is rich in real estate because my dad left her several pieces of valuable property.
我母亲名下有多处房产，都是父亲留下的优质不动产。
The pension and dividends she gets from his career and investments "only" provides her with about $100k per year so she wants help maintaining the pieces of property without having to pay anyone to help her.
她每年靠养老金和投资分红有十万美元收入，却想让我们免费打理房产，不肯花钱雇人。
She struggles to live on $100k a year because she has to pay property taxes and likes to travel and give money to her preferred children (not me).
她总说十万美元不够生活，要交房产税、出门旅游，还要贴补她偏爱的孩子 —— 反正不是我。
The full story is that I spent my entire 20's working for her for free while also working part time to cover my own expenses.
实情是，我二十多岁全程免费给她打工，同时做兼职养活自己。
I was under the impression that in exchange for my labor, I would eventually inherit one of the pieces of property.
我盘算着，付出这些劳动，总能继承一套房产。
The day she informed me that she was leaving everything to my brother (the favorite), I quit working for her and have barely spoken to her since.
可当她告诉我所有财产都留给哥哥时，我当天就结束给她当牛做马，此后几乎再无往来。
I gave her a chance to change her mind, but she stood firm.
我给过她反悔的机会，可她始终一意孤行。
@soloshandpuppets
in immigrant families, it is extremelyyyy common for your parents to put pressure on their children to succeed...so that they can take care of them.
在移民家庭里，父母逼子女出人头地只为靠其养老，这种现象再常见不过。
i am only 22 and i have started to stress about my moms finances, as her struggles can quickly become mine.
我才二十二岁，就开始为母亲的财务焦虑，她的困境迟早会变成我的负担。
She has never had credit cards until a few years ago, and is totally misusing them, and doesn't seem concerned with learning why.
她近几年才办信用卡，却肆意透支，根本不愿了解正确用法。
I have resented her for raising me with that pressure, that i would be her safety net, but doing very little in the way of financially stabilizing herself.
我从小被灌输 “要给她养老兜底” 的观念，满心怨恨，她自己却从未规划过财务。
And the family back home can be very needy as well. they assume living in the US makes you rich, and you can provide everything for every open mouth that asks.
老家亲戚也总伸手索取，觉得在美国就是发财，该满足所有人的要求。
Those social pressures are something fierce, but i have absolutely no desire to do that.
这种人情压力极大，而我压根不想妥协。
Feels like everyone and their dog is entitled to my earnings, and I'm just crossing my fingers that my camry keeps turning on everyday.
好像所有人都能瓜分我的血汗钱，我每天只能祈祷自己的丰田车能正常启动。
@Additional_Scholar_1
The pressure to help your parents financially, especially if they’re immigrants, is very real.
赡养父母的经济压力真实存在，移民家庭子女更是深有体会。
I feel kind of lucky though in a way. My mom is awful at finances, but she has enough pluck to find SOME way to get by, and I’ve learned a lot from her.
不过我也算幸运，母亲不懂理财，却总有办法维持生计，我也从她身上学到不少。
Meanwhile my dad moved back to his home country (they’re separated, and he always needs to feel needed, so I don’t blame him), and cares for his family there.
父母早已分居，父亲回了祖国，他总渴望被人需要，我不多苛责，他在老家照料亲人。
I was racked with guilt for so long when my mom asked if I could co-sign a loan for her new house and I said no.
当初母亲让我为新房贷款做担保，我拒绝了，为此愧疚了很久。
In the end that would’ve fucked me over. I’m optimistic right now that I can save more.
但我清楚，答应她只会拖垮自己，现在我很乐观，能安心攒下更多积蓄。
The funny thing is that my soon-to-be-ex-wife comes from a family with a good chunk of change, plus a huge extended family.
说来可笑，我即将离婚的前妻出身优渥大家庭，家境殷实。
While she gets occasional support from grandma, her parents are withholding financial help unless she moves in with them.
她偶尔能得奶奶资助，可父母却拒绝帮忙，除非她搬回去同住。
Meanwhile, when my mom heard the news we’re divorcing, she made plans to fill her truck with whatever furniture people were getting rid of, and drove 12 hours to help me out without question.
而我母亲得知我离婚，立刻收拾闲置家具，开十二小时车赶来帮我，毫无犹豫。
I hope you can find a give and take that keeps you sane.
希望你能找到合适的相处方式，守住内心平静。
@Akovsky87
The difference is those parents usually would work extra shifts and go without so their kids could have the resources needed to be successful.
负责任的父母会加班省吃俭用，给孩子铺就成功的道路。
They knew the American dream could take a generation.
他们明白，美国梦往往需要一代人的铺垫。
That's different from I'm assuming quite a few of our dead beat parents.
这和我们身边那些不负责任、浑噩度日的父母，有着本质区别。
@xly15
Yeah, but if your parents are doing things with the expectation that you'll give them something back in return when they get older, they aren't doing it out of love for you; they're doing it out of selfishness for themselves.
没错，若父母养育只为年老索取回报，这份付出无关爱意，纯粹是自私。
It doesn't matter if they took extra shifts or whatnot, they're still doing it out of selfishness.
不管他们是否辛苦劳作，本质都是一样的自私。
Instead of preparing for the eventual future where you may not want to or be willing or can't take care of them.
他们从不规划晚年，只想着把养老压力强加给孩子。
My mom literally thought that—well, first off, she didn't do extra shifts. She worked a minimum‑wage part‑time job her whole life, most of my childhood, all of my sister's childhood, and squatted several apartments, yada yada.
我母亲就是这样，她一辈子没拼过，只做最低工资兼职，我和妹妹的童年，她常年居无定所。
She thought her kids would want to take care of her after she displayed heaping amounts of disrespect for the children she brought into the world.
她对孩子毫无尊重，却妄想子女心甘情愿为她养老。
When we realized that she wasn't fixing her own goddamn problems, both me and my sister pretty much said, "No, we don't want anything to do with you." Goodbye.
当我们看清她从不改正问题，我和妹妹果断疏远：“我们不想和你有牵扯”，从此一刀两断。
While there were some good parts during our childhood, most of it sucked because of her bad decision making.
童年有零星温暖，可大多时光都被她的错误决定搅得一团糟。
@Fair_Investment_8995
And to add to your comment, and what i am going through, the parents aren't particularly generous on spending on their kids, doing only the bare minimum.
补充我的经历：这类父母对子女极为吝啬，只尽最基本的抚养义务。
Once they become dependent they spend lavishly on themselves since they didn't have to earn that money.
可一旦依赖子女，就肆意挥霍，毕竟花的不是自己的血汗钱。
@noapplesin98
Yep, that's my parents. Scringing and scrounging when I was a kid, now they buy cars and plan oversee vacations they can't afford because they just ring us up for money.
太真实了，我父母就是这样。我小时候他们抠门至极，如今却买车、规划超支旅行，只管打电话向我们要钱。
You can never say anything to them, its always "I worked so hard/the cost of my love".
你还不能反驳，他们永远拿 “我辛苦一辈子”“养育之恩大过天” 当借口。
Just exhausting to be a line of credit to your parents.
被父母当成提款机，真的身心俱疲。
@tashaw1525
Absolutely! Effort, care and consideration begets effort, care and consideration.
完全认同！真心换真心，尊重换尊重，本就是相处底线。
@ericfromct
I think you might feel differently if your mom went out of her way to give you a truly great life. But maybe not.
若你母亲拼尽全力给你幸福人生，你或许会有不同想法，当然也可能不会。
For sure no one should be banking on their children to take care of them towards the end of their life.
但毋庸置疑，任何人都不该把养老希望全寄托在子女身上。
@Foreign-Ad8778
Because houses are so easy to afford, you should easily be able to handle 2 mortgages, right? Assuming you don't want to live with them.
好像房子多容易买一样，难不成还能轻松承担两套房贷？除非你愿意和他们同住。
@mcmurrml
Do not let them feel they are entitled to your hard earned money and keep your finances to yourself.
永远别让他们觉得有权支配你的血汗钱，守好自己的财务，别轻易透露。
@Maleficent-Fig-9741
this. don’t share the details of what you make and are saving for your own future.
没错，收入存款这些私事，绝不要对外透露，那是你未来的保障。
@Redrooff
Seriously this has seriously fucked my life up and I can’t help but resent my parents not being able to support themselves and take care of themselves.
说实话，这种事毁了我的生活，我实在无法怨恨，父母连基本自立都做不到。
The young are losing their lives in the service of the old, while having to navigate a relentless changing world catering toward the wealthy and hell bent on fucking over the young. Sucks
年轻人为赡养老人牺牲人生，还要在偏袒富人、压榨年轻人的社会里挣扎，实在可悲。
@nerd_is_a_verb
True, but there is a solution. Stop giving everyone money. Deal with people being angry when they inevitably attack you for not giving them money.
道理很简单，解决办法也直接：停止无偿接济，坦然接受他们因此发怒指责。
It’s really that simple. It sucks, but there is no future where you are happy and financially secure and where they are also happy for you and treating you like a person instead of an ATM.
事情就是这么简单，虽难受，但你不可能既保住生活积蓄，又让他们满意，被当成提款机。
@Mrs_Kevina
Put a freeze on your credit ASAP. Most family fraud is perpetuated by family members.
尽快冻结信用账户，绝大多数家庭金融诈骗，都是亲人所为。
Criminal and felony amounts add up quickly and easily, in today's environment with Law Enforcements cooperation with ICE it could have some terrible outcomes.
欠款易累积到刑事标准，如今执法与移民局联动，出事后果不堪设想。
@Gullible-Menu
I could not agree with this more. My parents and I have been no contact for 5 years, but my parents planned their retirement well and also their end of life plans are made, paid for, and set in place so nobody will have that burden.
我举双手赞同。我和父母断联五年，他们早做好养老与身后事规划，费用结清，绝不拖累子女。
My husband on the other hand had parents that did the opposite. They spent every dollar, always behind on bills, had a low credit score, and lived beyond their means.
可我公婆恰恰相反，挥霍无度，账单逾期，信用极差，入不敷出。
When his Mom passed away in 2022 they didn’t know if she had any life insurance, the mortgage was 3 months behind, all the utilities were in disconnect, and everything was in a disarray.
2022 年婆婆去世，我们不知她有无保险，房贷逾期三月，水电全停，一切乱作一团。
We helped, along with my husband’s oldest daughter, to get him squared away. We did a Go Fund Me and took over his account and got all his bills paid up and had the home paid one month in advance. He was back in the same boat within 3 months.
我们帮公公收拾残局，众筹、接管账户结清欠款，预付房贷，可不到三月他又变回原样。
He let his daughter move in with her 3 kids and then she quit working and paid no bills for a year and a half.
他让女儿带三个孩子同住，女儿辞职，一年半没承担一分家用。
He cashed in his 401K, worth a total of $24,000, within 3 months of retiring. His exact words, “I had a retirement account that wasn’t doing anything.
他在退休三月内，取光两万四千美元退休金，而他的原话是：“这退休金放着也没用。”
He bought a new truck that he couldn’t afford and ended up refinancing and adding money owed on his home two separate times over the next two years.
他买了负担不起的新车，两年内两次二次抵押，结果欠款越滚越多。
He started out owing 100K on a 260K value home and now has it at $220K owes.
房子市值 26 万，最初欠款 10 万，如今涨到 22 万。
We are finally at an age where our kids are moved out, on their own, thriving and living their lives.
我们终于熬到子女独立，能安心规划自己的生活。
We are financially able to focus our money on boosting our retirement savings (30% of my income is being invested) taking trips, and overhauling an American muscle car my husband bought last summer.
我们终于有能力理财养老、出门旅行，翻新丈夫买的美式肌肉车，享受生活。
It’s completely ridiculous in my opinion to make no plans to cover your own retirement and then to make your kids feel guilty for your bad choices and to expect them to include you in their vacations and foot the bill, all while complaining the entire time.
我无法理解，自己不做养老规划，却让子女为你的错误买单，还指望子女出钱度假、全程抱怨，实在离谱。
We have bowed out. His bad decisions will have to be his bad decisions.
我们已经彻底放手，这是他自己的错，理应由他自己承担。
When the time comes he will have to figure out his next steps. We simply can’t throw money into a bottomless pit that never ends.
日后该如何他自己想办法，我们绝不会再把钱扔进无底洞。
@FusRoDahMa
Not quite the same here, but close enough. My mother lived paycheck to paycheck. Ignored every piece of financial advice we gave her.
我的情况略有不同但大同小异，母亲是月光族，无视所有理财建议。
Retired early at 62 because "she was tired."
62 岁就以 “我太累了” 为由提前退休。
Blew all "extra" money at casinos. Sold a paid for home and lived in a fema trailer on someone else's land.
把闲钱全挥霍在赌场，卖掉全款房，住在政府临时拖车里。
When the government reclaimed the trailer "that she swore would never happen" against my better judgment, I helped her move up to my area and rent a camper. Then she trashed that out in two years and wanted to move into my house because "I have a mother-in-law suit."
政府收回拖车时，我不顾意愿帮她搬家租房，可她两年把车造烂，还想搬进我家，理由是家里有“岳母房”。
I told her 30 years ago and periodically over these years that she will NEVER live with me (long sorted history of abandonment, abuse etc.) And that I meant that.
三十年前我就明确说过，绝不和她同住，童年被遗弃虐待的经历，让我绝不妥协。
She slunk off to FL to couch surf and I haven't heard a peep from her in over a year.
后来她去佛罗里达投靠亲友，一年多再没联系过我。
I get filial piety as a concept but no way is this train wreck of a birth giver going to ruin my home and family. I still have school aged kids too!
我理解孝道，但绝不让这个不负责任的生母毁掉我的家庭，我还有未成年孩子要抚养！
@DreamsServedSoft
consequences aren’t a bad thing, good for you
人总要为选择负责，你做得没错。
@Daveit4later
This is why when you "give" someone a house to help them, you put it in a trust so they can't sell it. For anyone reading who's ever in a position to help their parents in that matter. Please consult a lawyer.
这就是赠予父母房产要设立信托的原因，防止他们变卖，有类似情况务必咨询律师。
@StnMtn_
My father especially dodged work all his life. I hope he has paid enough Social Security taxes to qualify for a retirement income.
我父亲也一辈子逃避工作，只希望他交够社保，能领到基本退休金。
@BadTastingParsnip
I, too, am appalled at the stories here about irresponsible parents who financially ruined their lives and feel entitled to drain their kids and take their kids down with them.
看到这些故事我也震惊，不负责任的父母毁了自己，还理直气壮榨干子女，想拉着孩子沉沦。
@LoveIsAFire
Me too. I had to BEG my father to pay for his measly $40 phone plan after he helped me through my masters program.
我深有体会，父亲资助我读完硕士，我连让他承担 40 美元话费，都要低声下气恳求。
He wouldn’t even let us get tested for a kidney when he needed one. He didn’t believe it was right to take from your children.
他需要肾移植时，拒绝家人配型，在他看来，向子女索取本就理所当然。
@Sensible___shoes
My family watched me survive on disability payments when I suddenly became severely disabled without batting an eye and would get very angry with me if I needed anything and dared to ask them.
我突发重度残疾靠补助金度日，家人冷眼旁观，我一求助就换来怒火。
Let them all go on social assistance in their senior years. Happened to me when I was in my 20s
他们老了就去领社会救助吧，我二十多岁时，就是这么熬过来的。
@berrylakin
My mom was awesome and did everything she could for me and my sisters. She made holidays fun and memorable even though we didn't have money.
我母亲是全世界最好的人，为我们倾尽所有，即便贫寒，也把节日过得温馨难忘。
She taught me love and empathy and was a big part in shielding me from my father's abuse as much as she could.
她教会我爱与共情，拼尽全力保护我，不让我遭受父亲虐待。
An entire line of shitty, raciest, abusive men ends with me because of her as I teach my sons the same love and empathy she taught me.
因为她，家族世代的暴力冷漠在我这终结，我也把这份爱教给了儿子们。
My younger sister got addicted to heroin, bad. Od'd twice. Ruined every relationship she had with lies and theft and everyone had given up on her, except my mom.
妹妹曾染毒瘾两次过量，用谎言偷窃伤害所有人，大家都放弃了她，唯有我母亲没有。
She did everything with my sister, for 2 years, and somehow got through to her.
两年时间，我母亲寸步不离，终于帮她戒掉毒瘾。
My sister has been clean for over 15 years and I have a beautiful niece and nephew now.
如今妹妹戒毒十五年，我也有了可爱的侄子侄女。
She was a single mother of 4 essentially and if she could have supported us financially she would have left him a long time ago.
我母亲独自抚养四个孩子，若经济允许，她早就离开了父亲。
My dad would make her do things like cut his finger and toenails, bath him, wash his feet, homemade dinner every day at 5 (even if us kids had tons to do she would do it and cook dinner) cut the grass and yard work.
父亲对母亲百般苛责，逼她伺候起居、打理家务，日复一日毫无体谅。
From the time we were born till we moved out my mom was the best mom anyone could ask for. She sacrificed A LOT for me and my 3 sisters. I would do anything for her and I do owe her a lot.
从小到大，母亲倾尽所有为我们牺牲，我愿意为她付出一切，我确实亏欠她良多。
@sunny-beans
There is a huge difference in helping a parent who was there for you and were responsible financially but fell on hard times and helping a neglectful parent or a parent who was financially irresponsible their entire life and now want you to bail them out.
帮扶尽责却遇困境的父母，和赡养失职挥霍、只会拖累子女的父母，完全是两码事。
My mom was also a single mom and she did so much for me, I only have the life I have because of her.
我母亲也是单亲妈妈，她为我付出一切，我如今的生活全是她托举起来的。
I was only able to build a life in another country because she believed in me, she went into debt to buy my flights to the UK, she gave me her last money so I could move here.
她负债为我买机票，拿出全部积蓄支持我远赴英国，我才得以在他乡立足。
I now have a really stable life, me and my husband have great salaries and are very comfortable, so I help my mom as much as I can, but I do so because I want to, she doesn’t expect that of me and she wouldn’t burden me with it.
现在我生活安稳，心甘情愿赡养我母亲，她从不索取，更不会给我施压。
I am in a position to help her and I do with happiness. I also know if I got into a bad way and lost everything my mom would do everything to help me even sell her flat if that was what it took.
我有能力照顾她也乐于如此，我更清楚，若我陷入绝境，母亲定会拼尽全力帮我，哪怕变卖房产。
My dad on the other hand was a drug addicted, never showed up for me, did a lot of shit things, never really worked, and I am no contact with him, I wouldn’t give him a cent.
可我父亲嗜毒成瘾、从未尽责，我早已和他断联，一分钱都不会给他。
He did nothing for me besides giving me trauma. So he can fuck off.
他除了给我创伤，什么都没给过我，不配得到我的帮扶。
I don’t wish anything bad for him, I hope he at some point get his life together and lives well, but that isn’t my concern and I am not his bank account.
我不盼他过得不好，只希望他改过自新，但这与我无关，我不是他的提款机。
So I know both sides of this. If you had a loving parent who did everything they could to support you, and you are now in a good position to help, then sure, I think that’s awesome.
两种情况我都经历过，父母全心养育，你有能力回馈，本就是幸事。
but I won’t shame people who had parents that didn’t give a shit and now expect their children to be their personal bank.
但我绝不会指责，那些被冷漠父母辜负、却被当成养老工具的人。
@Funny_Breadfruit_413
The day he sold that house and land to travel, he sold away his retirement fund. You owe nothing.
当年他变卖房产挥霍时，就亲手葬送了自己的养老保障，你什么都不欠他。
@jesssbedumb
Seriously. I took in my parents and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done.
说实话，我接父母同住，是这辈子最后悔的决定。
I’m trying to figure out how to pay my mortgage off faster so I can get a new house and leave them in my old one because they don’t understand how miserable everyone is with them here and they wont leave.
我只想尽快还清房贷买房搬走，他们察觉不到生活被搅得压抑，还死活不肯走。
Don’t take in your parents. Even if you have a good relationship with them because it won’t last.
千万别接父母同住，就算关系和睦，朝夕相处也会消磨所有情分。
@AbbreviationsNew5220
My parents abandoned me with my paternal grandparents when I was 6 weeks old. This is the plan, has always been the plan.
我出生六周就被父母丢给爷爷奶奶，他们从来就没想过对我负责。
Ironically my dad “got” wet brain in 2018, and my aunts and uncles got mad at me for not coming to handle his crap. Wasn’t my crap, he never handled my crap, why would I start now.
讽刺的是，父亲酗酒患病，亲戚却指责我不收拾烂摊子。他从未管过我，我凭什么要为他付出。
@mcmurrml
There are two of them and they are responsible for their own lives. Dad choose not to work much then it's his problem.
父母是独立成年人，该为自己的人生负责。你的父亲选择游手好闲，后果该自己承担。
You are allowed your future. They can still work i presume?
你有权追求自己的人生，他们明明还有劳动能力，何必依赖子女。
@Periscope_321
You don’t just become a ward of the state when you run out of money. You have to be physically or mentally so degraded and out of money. The list of physical requirements can be long.
这可不是没钱就能享受政府救助，必须满足身心失能、毫无资产等严苛条件，审核标准十分繁琐。
@BlatantFalsehood
If you're in the US, please check to see if you are in a filial duty state first. 29 US states require that adult children support their indigent parents in some way.
如果你身在美国务必确认，所在州是否有赡养法规，美国 29 个州要求成年子女赡养贫困父母。
@WelfordNelferd
Filial laws in the US are very rarely enforced, and even then, only in very specific circumstances.
美国的赡养法规执行率极低，即便执行，也只针对极少数特殊情况。
@panicked228
I truly believe that as the boomer generation gets further into retirement and their “golden years,” we will see these laws become enforced more and more.
我坚信，随着婴儿潮一代全面步入老年，这些赡养法规会被越来越严格执行。
Healthcare companies will do everything they can to turn a higher profit and I have no doubt that they’ll lobby/bribe whoever they can to do so.
医疗企业为逐利，定会游说相关部门，推动法规落地。
@BlatantFalsehood
This right here. Not only healthcare companies, but governments. As someone else pointed out in this thread, Pennsylvania can be pretty aggressive about enforcing theirs.
说得没错，不止医疗企业，政府也是如此，宾夕法尼亚州就一直在严格执行赡养法。
I'm an old person and I do not believe it's right: kids should not have to support their parents, period. But you are correct. We are going to see these laws increasingly enforced.
我已是老人，却始终认为子女无义务养父母，但不得不承认，法规执行力度只会越来越大。
@Sinbos
Luckily they changed that recently in Germany. You only have to if you earn more than 100,000€ which is a very good imcome here.
幸运的是，德国修改了法律，仅年收入超 10 万欧元的高收入群体，才需要赡养父母。
Wouldn’t stop me from helping my parents. But makes it kinda voluntary and if you have reason to not help at last you are out in the eye of the law.
我仍愿意主动帮扶父母，但这是自愿选择，就算拒绝，法律也不会追责。
@plazaplum
My parents were amazing to me, they worked but I grew up in poverty. I got married and lived in poverty for 20 years.
我的父母对我极好，勤恳工作却依旧贫寒，我结婚后也过了二十年清贫日子。
Got divorced, by a stroke of luck and some nerves of steel I landed a job which is making really good money, made some smart investments and such.
离婚后，靠运气与拼劲，我找到高薪工作合理理财，终于改善了生活。
I got remarried and we moved across country to care for my parents. They were living in my childhood home which was falling down around them and eating from a food bank because they were too proud to say anything about their finances.
再婚后我搬回老家照顾父母，他们住破房靠慈善接济，却因自尊从不诉说困境。
We sold their house, our house and bought a really nice one. My dad passed last year and wasn't a day that went by that he said how proud of me for providing and that he finally lived in a home that wasn't trash and falling apart.
我们卖房换新房同住，父亲去年离世，生前每一天都为我骄傲，说终于住进了安稳的房子。
Some parents deserve to be taken care of.
有些父母，值得我们倾尽所有去赡养。
@Tardislass
Sorry OP but your assumption that there are lots of programs for seniors and Medicaid and Medicare will help them is laughable.
抱歉楼主，你觉得美国老年福利完善、医保能兜底，这个想法太过天真。
Most senior that only have Medicare are living near poverty. And drug costs go up every month.
大多数仅靠联邦医保的老人，都生活在贫困线边缘，医药费还在逐月上涨。
You have no obligation to help your parents but the BS line that the US actually helps and cares about seniors is laughable.
你没有义务赡养父母，但别觉得美国政府会把老年人照顾得无微不至。
If you don’t want to help don’t. Just don’t think they will be taken care of by the state.
不想帮就不帮，可别指望福利体系能给他们安稳晚年。
Most Medicaid Nursing Homes are in a pitiful state and honestly I wouldn’t put my dog there but for some in the only option.
多数医保养老院条件极差，我连宠物都不愿送进去，可这却是很多老人唯一的选择。
@Ricochetpinecone
Uh, no. I worked for the program that helps seniors and the help is absolutely not disproportionate.
事实并非如此，我曾在老年帮扶机构工作，所谓的福利倾斜，根本是无稽之谈。
@Penelopeslueth
Exactly. My husband and I have tried everything to get extra help for parents, especially since his father went further downhill after his mom passed.
没错，我和丈夫想尽办法为父母申请帮扶，婆婆去世后，公公的身体状况越来越差。
You basically have to know what to do in advance and start the process long before it is needed to actually qualify for any help.
想要申领福利，必须提前了解流程尽早准备，等需要时再办，早就来不及了。
If you do manage to get something accomplished late on the game it’s usually too late.
临时抱佛脚申请帮扶，基本都为时已晚。
@Pale-Butterscotch-16
You need to keep putting your needs first. Save as much as you can for your own retirement.
你一定要优先考虑自己，多为自己的养老存钱。
It's really sad to hear your parents aren't prepared for retirement.
父母没有做好养老规划，确实令人惋惜。
@crustyeng
Maybe this is an individual, case by case kind of thing your parents just suck?
或许这只是个别情况，只是你的父母太过不负责任？
My mom isn’t hurting, but if she was I’d move mountains to get her anything she ever needed, just like she did for me and my sister her entire life.
我母亲生活无忧，但若她需要，我定会拼尽全力满足她，就像她一辈子为我无私付出那样。
We were born into a type of poverty that few people know in rural WV and she lifted us from that with little more than hard work.
我们出身偏远乡村极度贫寒，是母亲靠一己之力，带我们走出了困境。
@Forsaken_Ant7459
To each their own. My parents were and are wonderful people and I would do a lot for them, for the love and life they gave me, despite from humble origins.
每个人情况不同，我的父母善良尽责，即便出身贫寒，也给了我全部的爱，我愿意为他们付出一切。
@Adventurous_Dog_775
Sometimes parents need to learn the hard way. If you enable them, they will continue to just rely on you.
有时候父母总要吃点苦头才醒悟，一味纵容，只会让他们永远依赖你。
There's that saying about on being on an airplane, you have to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others.
就像坐飞机的安全提示：先戴好自己的氧气面罩，再去帮助别人。
@klutzosaurus-sex
This country disproportionately helps seniors? I was just able to get my mom survivors benefits so her monthly income bumped up from $575 to $975 and that’s what she’s expected to live on. She’s 82 and still needs to work.
说什么美国对老年人福利倾斜？我帮母亲申请福利后，她月收入才涨到 975 美元，82 岁高龄还得工作。
The US does disproportionately help seniors. We spend 2x as much on retirees as working people, and 6x as much as children.
美国对老年群体财政支出偏高，花在退休人员身上的钱，是劳动者的两倍、儿童的六倍。
That system drains people of money when they need it most and sends it to people who had their whole lives to accumulate wealth.
这套体系压榨年轻人，反而补贴给有一生时间积累财富的老年人。
That is NOT to say that senior poverty doesn't exist. It absolutely does, and if we're spending so much on seniors it needs to make its way into the pockets of those who need it.
这并非否认老年贫困，正因为投入大量资金，更该让真正有需要的老人得到帮扶。
A ton of senior benefits are paid to people who don't need it and simply spend their benefits on luxuries while people starve. It's frustrating and sad.
可大量福利流向衣食无忧的老人，被挥霍在奢侈品上，贫困老人却食不果腹，实在心寒。
@Sad-obxt3365
I'm ok with the idea that you don't owe your parents anything, that is up to each person and their situation.
我认同 “你不欠父母任何东西”，这因人而异，取决于各自的经历。
I can tell that your situation has made you a bit resentful towards your parents and I'm sure that is affecting your decision and that's fine also.
能看出来，你的遭遇让你怨恨父母，这影响了你的决定，这完全可以理解。
The only point you mentioned that I would argue against is that older people are disproportionately helped in the US.
我唯一不认同的，是你说美国对老年人过度扶持。
If you think that getting half assed Medicare coverage and getting a small amount of Social Security after paying into the system your whole life is privileged, then you are going to be very let down when you get to that age.
若你觉得缴一辈子社保，换来不完善医保和微薄退休金是特权，等你年老只会倍感失望。
@Terpsichorean_Wombat
Something everyone should know, especially if like OP's father they have been avoiding work or if they've been getting paid under the table to avoid taxes, is that Social Security is based on what you put in.
所有人都该明白，社保福利与缴费年限、金额直接挂钩，尤其对逃避工作、避税的人而言。
You need to have reported a (low) minimum amount for at least 10 years to be eligible for anything.
必须累计申报 10 年最低收入，才有资格领取社保。
If you are eligible for payments, they are calculated from an average of your 35 highest-earning years.
退休金计算标准，是你收入最高的 35 年平均值。
If you don't have 35 years of work, you are averaging in zeroes. If you under-reported your earnings, your benefits will be lower.
无 35 年工作记录就按零收入算，隐瞒收入，退休金也会减少。
If your spouse is eligible, you can receive a partial benefit based on their benefit. But the big picture here is that there is no free ride waiting you in old age. Someone needs to have put money in.
配偶符合条件可领部分福利，但核心是，老年没有免费保障，所有福利都需提前付出代价。
@lEauFly4
The comparison that people make with flying (i.e. putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others) stands.
飞机上的比喻再贴切不过：先自保，再助人。
You shouldn’t help someone else financially if it comes at the detriment to yourself/your own family (spouse/kids).
若资助父母会损害你和家人的生活，那就果断拒绝。
No is a full sentence. They don’t have to know that you have savings for your own goals and retirement; it’s none of their business.
“不” 本身就是完整回答，不必告诉他们你的存款规划，这是你的私事。
@GandalfTheSleigh
My mother would be homeless before I’d take care of her. Thankfully I live in a state where filial laws aren’t a thing.
就算我母亲流落街头，我也不会赡养她，幸好我所在的州没有赡养法规。
SOME parents don’t deserve a single thing from their children.
有些父母，根本不配得到子女的半分回报。
@02meepmeep
Seems like the same thing they told me when I turned 18. Fair’s fair.
我十八岁成年时，他们也是这么对我的，一报还一报，公平得很。
@Hwy_Witch
Zero chance I'm going to abandon my parents, ever.
我永远不会抛弃我的父母，绝对不会。
@smedleyyee
No YOU don’t owe YOUR parents anything. I owe my parents quite a bit.
你不欠你的父母，不代表所有人都如此，我亏欠我的父母太多。
@AnaDion94
Of course I don’t. Nobody owes anyone anything. But my mom has supported me without fail for her entire life.
诚然，没有人天生亏欠谁，可我的母亲，一辈子都在毫无保留地守护我。
If I lost my job tomorrow, she’d be using her little old lady body to help me move back home within the week. She’d even take my annoying boyfriend and annoying dog.
若我明天失业，她就算年迈体弱，也会一周内帮我搬回家，连我挑剔的男友和调皮的狗都一并接纳。
If my car broke down, shed stress herself financially to get me at least a down payment on something reliable.
若我的车坏了，她就算节衣缩食，也会凑钱给我付新车首付。
So no. I don’t owe her anything, but if I am ever in a situation where I can provide for her what she cannot provide for herself, I’m going to do it.
所以我确实不欠她，可只要我有能力，就一定会给她安稳的晚年，就像她当年守护我那样。
@MobileAny4294
I completely agree with you. My mom raised 7 kids by herself and she was an amazing human being.
我完全认同，我母亲独自抚养七个孩子，平凡而伟大。
I helped her financially every month when she couldn’t work and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
她失去劳动能力后，我每月给她生活费，重来一次，我依然会这么做。
@Mightyfalcore
I was brought up that parents should provide for their children. The next generation should be better off than the previous.
我从小被教导：父母的责任是养育子女，让下一代过得比上一代更好。
I do not have to provide financial assistance to my parents, and my children will not have to provide for me.
我不必赡养我的父母，我的孩子，也无需为我的晚年负责。
Nursing home cna here. It's okay. We're here so that you can live your life. Don't feel guilty at all.
我是养老院护理人员。这真的没关系，有我们照料，你只管过好自己的日子，完全不必愧疚。
We see this all the time. Neglectful parents, abusive parents, and many times, good parents that just need extra eyes and care. Also, we need our jobs too lol
这种情况我们见得太多：失职、施暴的父母，也有很多只是需要专人照料的好父母。况且说实话，我们也需要这份工作，哈哈。
@gingersusie
I remember when I was in my 30's and my aunt told me I would have to "quit my job" and "take care of my father" (who sexually abused me from age 9) but they would "let me go home on the weekends".
我三十多岁的时候，姑姑让我辞掉工作去照顾我父亲，而我父亲从九岁起就性侵我，她居然还说 “周末可以让你回自己家”。
I literally LOL'd. Stopped taking her calls. Never talked to her again.
我当时直接笑出声，从那之后再也没接她电话，和她彻底断联。
@Redrum874
If one of my dad’s sisters contacted me to say something like this, I would also have a hearty laugh before blocking them.
要是我姑姑们敢说这种话，我也会大笑一场，然后直接拉黑。
I didn’t even meet my dad until I was 19 years old. If he feels owed something by me, he can go right on feeling.
我十九岁才第一次见到亲生父亲，他要是觉得我欠他什么，尽管这么想就好。
@InevitableOk459
I blocked my mom almost two decades ago but somehow she got my wife's email and wrote my wife asking for help (which is crazy because my mom is rich AF and my wife and I live just above poverty line), my wife replied said "No thanks". We haven't heard from her since.
我快二十年前就拉黑了母亲，可她弄到我妻子邮箱发邮件求助。这很离谱，我母亲家境优渥，而我和妻子仅够温饱。我妻子只回了 “恕难从命”，此后她再无音讯。
My mother is rich in real estate because my dad left her several pieces of valuable property.
我母亲名下有多处房产，都是父亲留下的优质不动产。
The pension and dividends she gets from his career and investments "only" provides her with about $100k per year so she wants help maintaining the pieces of property without having to pay anyone to help her.
她每年靠养老金和投资分红有十万美元收入，却想让我们免费打理房产，不肯花钱雇人。
She struggles to live on $100k a year because she has to pay property taxes and likes to travel and give money to her preferred children (not me).
她总说十万美元不够生活，要交房产税、出门旅游，还要贴补她偏爱的孩子 —— 反正不是我。
The full story is that I spent my entire 20's working for her for free while also working part time to cover my own expenses.
实情是，我二十多岁全程免费给她打工，同时做兼职养活自己。
I was under the impression that in exchange for my labor, I would eventually inherit one of the pieces of property.
我盘算着，付出这些劳动，总能继承一套房产。
The day she informed me that she was leaving everything to my brother (the favorite), I quit working for her and have barely spoken to her since.
可当她告诉我所有财产都留给哥哥时，我当天就结束给她当牛做马，此后几乎再无往来。
I gave her a chance to change her mind, but she stood firm.
我给过她反悔的机会，可她始终一意孤行。
@soloshandpuppets
in immigrant families, it is extremelyyyy common for your parents to put pressure on their children to succeed...so that they can take care of them.
在移民家庭里，父母逼子女出人头地只为靠其养老，这种现象再常见不过。
i am only 22 and i have started to stress about my moms finances, as her struggles can quickly become mine.
我才二十二岁，就开始为母亲的财务焦虑，她的困境迟早会变成我的负担。
She has never had credit cards until a few years ago, and is totally misusing them, and doesn't seem concerned with learning why.
她近几年才办信用卡，却肆意透支，根本不愿了解正确用法。
I have resented her for raising me with that pressure, that i would be her safety net, but doing very little in the way of financially stabilizing herself.
我从小被灌输 “要给她养老兜底” 的观念，满心怨恨，她自己却从未规划过财务。
And the family back home can be very needy as well. they assume living in the US makes you rich, and you can provide everything for every open mouth that asks.
老家亲戚也总伸手索取，觉得在美国就是发财，该满足所有人的要求。
Those social pressures are something fierce, but i have absolutely no desire to do that.
这种人情压力极大，而我压根不想妥协。
Feels like everyone and their dog is entitled to my earnings, and I'm just crossing my fingers that my camry keeps turning on everyday.
好像所有人都能瓜分我的血汗钱，我每天只能祈祷自己的丰田车能正常启动。
@Additional_Scholar_1
The pressure to help your parents financially, especially if they’re immigrants, is very real.
赡养父母的经济压力真实存在，移民家庭子女更是深有体会。
I feel kind of lucky though in a way. My mom is awful at finances, but she has enough pluck to find SOME way to get by, and I’ve learned a lot from her.
不过我也算幸运，母亲不懂理财，却总有办法维持生计，我也从她身上学到不少。
Meanwhile my dad moved back to his home country (they’re separated, and he always needs to feel needed, so I don’t blame him), and cares for his family there.
父母早已分居，父亲回了祖国，他总渴望被人需要，我不多苛责，他在老家照料亲人。
I was racked with guilt for so long when my mom asked if I could co-sign a loan for her new house and I said no.
当初母亲让我为新房贷款做担保，我拒绝了，为此愧疚了很久。
In the end that would’ve fucked me over. I’m optimistic right now that I can save more.
但我清楚，答应她只会拖垮自己，现在我很乐观，能安心攒下更多积蓄。
The funny thing is that my soon-to-be-ex-wife comes from a family with a good chunk of change, plus a huge extended family.
说来可笑，我即将离婚的前妻出身优渥大家庭，家境殷实。
While she gets occasional support from grandma, her parents are withholding financial help unless she moves in with them.
她偶尔能得奶奶资助，可父母却拒绝帮忙，除非她搬回去同住。
Meanwhile, when my mom heard the news we’re divorcing, she made plans to fill her truck with whatever furniture people were getting rid of, and drove 12 hours to help me out without question.
而我母亲得知我离婚，立刻收拾闲置家具，开十二小时车赶来帮我，毫无犹豫。
I hope you can find a give and take that keeps you sane.
希望你能找到合适的相处方式，守住内心平静。
@Akovsky87
The difference is those parents usually would work extra shifts and go without so their kids could have the resources needed to be successful.
负责任的父母会加班省吃俭用，给孩子铺就成功的道路。
They knew the American dream could take a generation.
他们明白，美国梦往往需要一代人的铺垫。
That's different from I'm assuming quite a few of our dead beat parents.
这和我们身边那些不负责任、浑噩度日的父母，有着本质区别。
@xly15
Yeah, but if your parents are doing things with the expectation that you'll give them something back in return when they get older, they aren't doing it out of love for you; they're doing it out of selfishness for themselves.
没错，若父母养育只为年老索取回报，这份付出无关爱意，纯粹是自私。
It doesn't matter if they took extra shifts or whatnot, they're still doing it out of selfishness.
不管他们是否辛苦劳作，本质都是一样的自私。
Instead of preparing for the eventual future where you may not want to or be willing or can't take care of them.
他们从不规划晚年，只想着把养老压力强加给孩子。
My mom literally thought that—well, first off, she didn't do extra shifts. She worked a minimum‑wage part‑time job her whole life, most of my childhood, all of my sister's childhood, and squatted several apartments, yada yada.
我母亲就是这样，她一辈子没拼过，只做最低工资兼职，我和妹妹的童年，她常年居无定所。
She thought her kids would want to take care of her after she displayed heaping amounts of disrespect for the children she brought into the world.
她对孩子毫无尊重，却妄想子女心甘情愿为她养老。
When we realized that she wasn't fixing her own goddamn problems, both me and my sister pretty much said, "No, we don't want anything to do with you." Goodbye.
当我们看清她从不改正问题，我和妹妹果断疏远：“我们不想和你有牵扯”，从此一刀两断。
While there were some good parts during our childhood, most of it sucked because of her bad decision making.
童年有零星温暖，可大多时光都被她的错误决定搅得一团糟。
@Fair_Investment_8995
And to add to your comment, and what i am going through, the parents aren't particularly generous on spending on their kids, doing only the bare minimum.
补充我的经历：这类父母对子女极为吝啬，只尽最基本的抚养义务。
Once they become dependent they spend lavishly on themselves since they didn't have to earn that money.
可一旦依赖子女，就肆意挥霍，毕竟花的不是自己的血汗钱。
@noapplesin98
Yep, that's my parents. Scringing and scrounging when I was a kid, now they buy cars and plan oversee vacations they can't afford because they just ring us up for money.
太真实了，我父母就是这样。我小时候他们抠门至极，如今却买车、规划超支旅行，只管打电话向我们要钱。
You can never say anything to them, its always "I worked so hard/the cost of my love".
你还不能反驳，他们永远拿 “我辛苦一辈子”“养育之恩大过天” 当借口。
Just exhausting to be a line of credit to your parents.
被父母当成提款机，真的身心俱疲。
@tashaw1525
Absolutely! Effort, care and consideration begets effort, care and consideration.
完全认同！真心换真心，尊重换尊重，本就是相处底线。
@ericfromct
I think you might feel differently if your mom went out of her way to give you a truly great life. But maybe not.
若你母亲拼尽全力给你幸福人生，你或许会有不同想法，当然也可能不会。
For sure no one should be banking on their children to take care of them towards the end of their life.
但毋庸置疑，任何人都不该把养老希望全寄托在子女身上。
@Foreign-Ad8778
Because houses are so easy to afford, you should easily be able to handle 2 mortgages, right? Assuming you don't want to live with them.
好像房子多容易买一样，难不成还能轻松承担两套房贷？除非你愿意和他们同住。
@mcmurrml
Do not let them feel they are entitled to your hard earned money and keep your finances to yourself.
永远别让他们觉得有权支配你的血汗钱，守好自己的财务，别轻易透露。
@Maleficent-Fig-9741
this. don’t share the details of what you make and are saving for your own future.
没错，收入存款这些私事，绝不要对外透露，那是你未来的保障。
@Redrooff
Seriously this has seriously fucked my life up and I can’t help but resent my parents not being able to support themselves and take care of themselves.
说实话，这种事毁了我的生活，我实在无法怨恨，父母连基本自立都做不到。
The young are losing their lives in the service of the old, while having to navigate a relentless changing world catering toward the wealthy and hell bent on fucking over the young. Sucks
年轻人为赡养老人牺牲人生，还要在偏袒富人、压榨年轻人的社会里挣扎，实在可悲。
@nerd_is_a_verb
True, but there is a solution. Stop giving everyone money. Deal with people being angry when they inevitably attack you for not giving them money.
道理很简单，解决办法也直接：停止无偿接济，坦然接受他们因此发怒指责。
It’s really that simple. It sucks, but there is no future where you are happy and financially secure and where they are also happy for you and treating you like a person instead of an ATM.
事情就是这么简单，虽难受，但你不可能既保住生活积蓄，又让他们满意，被当成提款机。
@Mrs_Kevina
Put a freeze on your credit ASAP. Most family fraud is perpetuated by family members.
尽快冻结信用账户，绝大多数家庭金融诈骗，都是亲人所为。
Criminal and felony amounts add up quickly and easily, in today's environment with Law Enforcements cooperation with ICE it could have some terrible outcomes.
欠款易累积到刑事标准，如今执法与移民局联动，出事后果不堪设想。
@Gullible-Menu
I could not agree with this more. My parents and I have been no contact for 5 years, but my parents planned their retirement well and also their end of life plans are made, paid for, and set in place so nobody will have that burden.
我举双手赞同。我和父母断联五年，他们早做好养老与身后事规划，费用结清，绝不拖累子女。
My husband on the other hand had parents that did the opposite. They spent every dollar, always behind on bills, had a low credit score, and lived beyond their means.
可我公婆恰恰相反，挥霍无度，账单逾期，信用极差，入不敷出。
When his Mom passed away in 2022 they didn’t know if she had any life insurance, the mortgage was 3 months behind, all the utilities were in disconnect, and everything was in a disarray.
2022 年婆婆去世，我们不知她有无保险，房贷逾期三月，水电全停，一切乱作一团。
We helped, along with my husband’s oldest daughter, to get him squared away. We did a Go Fund Me and took over his account and got all his bills paid up and had the home paid one month in advance. He was back in the same boat within 3 months.
我们帮公公收拾残局，众筹、接管账户结清欠款，预付房贷，可不到三月他又变回原样。
He let his daughter move in with her 3 kids and then she quit working and paid no bills for a year and a half.
他让女儿带三个孩子同住，女儿辞职，一年半没承担一分家用。
He cashed in his 401K, worth a total of $24,000, within 3 months of retiring. His exact words, “I had a retirement account that wasn’t doing anything.
他在退休三月内，取光两万四千美元退休金，而他的原话是：“这退休金放着也没用。”
He bought a new truck that he couldn’t afford and ended up refinancing and adding money owed on his home two separate times over the next two years.
他买了负担不起的新车，两年内两次二次抵押，结果欠款越滚越多。
He started out owing 100K on a 260K value home and now has it at $220K owes.
房子市值 26 万，最初欠款 10 万，如今涨到 22 万。
We are finally at an age where our kids are moved out, on their own, thriving and living their lives.
我们终于熬到子女独立，能安心规划自己的生活。
We are financially able to focus our money on boosting our retirement savings (30% of my income is being invested) taking trips, and overhauling an American muscle car my husband bought last summer.
我们终于有能力理财养老、出门旅行，翻新丈夫买的美式肌肉车，享受生活。
It’s completely ridiculous in my opinion to make no plans to cover your own retirement and then to make your kids feel guilty for your bad choices and to expect them to include you in their vacations and foot the bill, all while complaining the entire time.
我无法理解，自己不做养老规划，却让子女为你的错误买单，还指望子女出钱度假、全程抱怨，实在离谱。
We have bowed out. His bad decisions will have to be his bad decisions.
我们已经彻底放手，这是他自己的错，理应由他自己承担。
When the time comes he will have to figure out his next steps. We simply can’t throw money into a bottomless pit that never ends.
日后该如何他自己想办法，我们绝不会再把钱扔进无底洞。
@FusRoDahMa
Not quite the same here, but close enough. My mother lived paycheck to paycheck. Ignored every piece of financial advice we gave her.
我的情况略有不同但大同小异，母亲是月光族，无视所有理财建议。
Retired early at 62 because "she was tired."
62 岁就以 “我太累了” 为由提前退休。
Blew all "extra" money at casinos. Sold a paid for home and lived in a fema trailer on someone else's land.
把闲钱全挥霍在赌场，卖掉全款房，住在政府临时拖车里。
When the government reclaimed the trailer "that she swore would never happen" against my better judgment, I helped her move up to my area and rent a camper. Then she trashed that out in two years and wanted to move into my house because "I have a mother-in-law suit."
政府收回拖车时，我不顾意愿帮她搬家租房，可她两年把车造烂，还想搬进我家，理由是家里有“岳母房”。
I told her 30 years ago and periodically over these years that she will NEVER live with me (long sorted history of abandonment, abuse etc.) And that I meant that.
三十年前我就明确说过，绝不和她同住，童年被遗弃虐待的经历，让我绝不妥协。
She slunk off to FL to couch surf and I haven't heard a peep from her in over a year.
后来她去佛罗里达投靠亲友，一年多再没联系过我。
I get filial piety as a concept but no way is this train wreck of a birth giver going to ruin my home and family. I still have school aged kids too!
我理解孝道，但绝不让这个不负责任的生母毁掉我的家庭，我还有未成年孩子要抚养！
@DreamsServedSoft
consequences aren’t a bad thing, good for you
人总要为选择负责，你做得没错。
@Daveit4later
This is why when you "give" someone a house to help them, you put it in a trust so they can't sell it. For anyone reading who's ever in a position to help their parents in that matter. Please consult a lawyer.
这就是赠予父母房产要设立信托的原因，防止他们变卖，有类似情况务必咨询律师。
@StnMtn_
My father especially dodged work all his life. I hope he has paid enough Social Security taxes to qualify for a retirement income.
我父亲也一辈子逃避工作，只希望他交够社保，能领到基本退休金。
@BadTastingParsnip
I, too, am appalled at the stories here about irresponsible parents who financially ruined their lives and feel entitled to drain their kids and take their kids down with them.
看到这些故事我也震惊，不负责任的父母毁了自己，还理直气壮榨干子女，想拉着孩子沉沦。
@LoveIsAFire
Me too. I had to BEG my father to pay for his measly $40 phone plan after he helped me through my masters program.
我深有体会，父亲资助我读完硕士，我连让他承担 40 美元话费，都要低声下气恳求。
He wouldn’t even let us get tested for a kidney when he needed one. He didn’t believe it was right to take from your children.
他需要肾移植时，拒绝家人配型，在他看来，向子女索取本就理所当然。
@Sensible___shoes
My family watched me survive on disability payments when I suddenly became severely disabled without batting an eye and would get very angry with me if I needed anything and dared to ask them.
我突发重度残疾靠补助金度日，家人冷眼旁观，我一求助就换来怒火。
Let them all go on social assistance in their senior years. Happened to me when I was in my 20s
他们老了就去领社会救助吧，我二十多岁时，就是这么熬过来的。
@berrylakin
My mom was awesome and did everything she could for me and my sisters. She made holidays fun and memorable even though we didn't have money.
我母亲是全世界最好的人，为我们倾尽所有，即便贫寒，也把节日过得温馨难忘。
She taught me love and empathy and was a big part in shielding me from my father's abuse as much as she could.
她教会我爱与共情，拼尽全力保护我，不让我遭受父亲虐待。
An entire line of shitty, raciest, abusive men ends with me because of her as I teach my sons the same love and empathy she taught me.
因为她，家族世代的暴力冷漠在我这终结，我也把这份爱教给了儿子们。
My younger sister got addicted to heroin, bad. Od'd twice. Ruined every relationship she had with lies and theft and everyone had given up on her, except my mom.
妹妹曾染毒瘾两次过量，用谎言偷窃伤害所有人，大家都放弃了她，唯有我母亲没有。
She did everything with my sister, for 2 years, and somehow got through to her.
两年时间，我母亲寸步不离，终于帮她戒掉毒瘾。
My sister has been clean for over 15 years and I have a beautiful niece and nephew now.
如今妹妹戒毒十五年，我也有了可爱的侄子侄女。
She was a single mother of 4 essentially and if she could have supported us financially she would have left him a long time ago.
我母亲独自抚养四个孩子，若经济允许，她早就离开了父亲。
My dad would make her do things like cut his finger and toenails, bath him, wash his feet, homemade dinner every day at 5 (even if us kids had tons to do she would do it and cook dinner) cut the grass and yard work.
父亲对母亲百般苛责，逼她伺候起居、打理家务，日复一日毫无体谅。
From the time we were born till we moved out my mom was the best mom anyone could ask for. She sacrificed A LOT for me and my 3 sisters. I would do anything for her and I do owe her a lot.
从小到大，母亲倾尽所有为我们牺牲，我愿意为她付出一切，我确实亏欠她良多。
@sunny-beans
There is a huge difference in helping a parent who was there for you and were responsible financially but fell on hard times and helping a neglectful parent or a parent who was financially irresponsible their entire life and now want you to bail them out.
帮扶尽责却遇困境的父母，和赡养失职挥霍、只会拖累子女的父母，完全是两码事。
My mom was also a single mom and she did so much for me, I only have the life I have because of her.
我母亲也是单亲妈妈，她为我付出一切，我如今的生活全是她托举起来的。
I was only able to build a life in another country because she believed in me, she went into debt to buy my flights to the UK, she gave me her last money so I could move here.
她负债为我买机票，拿出全部积蓄支持我远赴英国，我才得以在他乡立足。
I now have a really stable life, me and my husband have great salaries and are very comfortable, so I help my mom as much as I can, but I do so because I want to, she doesn’t expect that of me and she wouldn’t burden me with it.
现在我生活安稳，心甘情愿赡养我母亲，她从不索取，更不会给我施压。
I am in a position to help her and I do with happiness. I also know if I got into a bad way and lost everything my mom would do everything to help me even sell her flat if that was what it took.
我有能力照顾她也乐于如此，我更清楚，若我陷入绝境，母亲定会拼尽全力帮我，哪怕变卖房产。
My dad on the other hand was a drug addicted, never showed up for me, did a lot of shit things, never really worked, and I am no contact with him, I wouldn’t give him a cent.
可我父亲嗜毒成瘾、从未尽责，我早已和他断联，一分钱都不会给他。
He did nothing for me besides giving me trauma. So he can fuck off.
他除了给我创伤，什么都没给过我，不配得到我的帮扶。
I don’t wish anything bad for him, I hope he at some point get his life together and lives well, but that isn’t my concern and I am not his bank account.
我不盼他过得不好，只希望他改过自新，但这与我无关，我不是他的提款机。
So I know both sides of this. If you had a loving parent who did everything they could to support you, and you are now in a good position to help, then sure, I think that’s awesome.
两种情况我都经历过，父母全心养育，你有能力回馈，本就是幸事。
but I won’t shame people who had parents that didn’t give a shit and now expect their children to be their personal bank.
但我绝不会指责，那些被冷漠父母辜负、却被当成养老工具的人。
@Funny_Breadfruit_413
The day he sold that house and land to travel, he sold away his retirement fund. You owe nothing.
当年他变卖房产挥霍时，就亲手葬送了自己的养老保障，你什么都不欠他。
@jesssbedumb
Seriously. I took in my parents and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever done.
说实话，我接父母同住，是这辈子最后悔的决定。
I’m trying to figure out how to pay my mortgage off faster so I can get a new house and leave them in my old one because they don’t understand how miserable everyone is with them here and they wont leave.
我只想尽快还清房贷买房搬走，他们察觉不到生活被搅得压抑，还死活不肯走。
Don’t take in your parents. Even if you have a good relationship with them because it won’t last.
千万别接父母同住，就算关系和睦，朝夕相处也会消磨所有情分。
@AbbreviationsNew5220
My parents abandoned me with my paternal grandparents when I was 6 weeks old. This is the plan, has always been the plan.
我出生六周就被父母丢给爷爷奶奶，他们从来就没想过对我负责。
Ironically my dad “got” wet brain in 2018, and my aunts and uncles got mad at me for not coming to handle his crap. Wasn’t my crap, he never handled my crap, why would I start now.
讽刺的是，父亲酗酒患病，亲戚却指责我不收拾烂摊子。他从未管过我，我凭什么要为他付出。
@mcmurrml
There are two of them and they are responsible for their own lives. Dad choose not to work much then it's his problem.
父母是独立成年人，该为自己的人生负责。你的父亲选择游手好闲，后果该自己承担。
You are allowed your future. They can still work i presume?
你有权追求自己的人生，他们明明还有劳动能力，何必依赖子女。
@Periscope_321
You don’t just become a ward of the state when you run out of money. You have to be physically or mentally so degraded and out of money. The list of physical requirements can be long.
这可不是没钱就能享受政府救助，必须满足身心失能、毫无资产等严苛条件，审核标准十分繁琐。
@BlatantFalsehood
If you're in the US, please check to see if you are in a filial duty state first. 29 US states require that adult children support their indigent parents in some way.
如果你身在美国务必确认，所在州是否有赡养法规，美国 29 个州要求成年子女赡养贫困父母。
@WelfordNelferd
Filial laws in the US are very rarely enforced, and even then, only in very specific circumstances.
美国的赡养法规执行率极低，即便执行，也只针对极少数特殊情况。
@panicked228
I truly believe that as the boomer generation gets further into retirement and their “golden years,” we will see these laws become enforced more and more.
我坚信，随着婴儿潮一代全面步入老年，这些赡养法规会被越来越严格执行。
Healthcare companies will do everything they can to turn a higher profit and I have no doubt that they’ll lobby/bribe whoever they can to do so.
医疗企业为逐利，定会游说相关部门，推动法规落地。
@BlatantFalsehood
This right here. Not only healthcare companies, but governments. As someone else pointed out in this thread, Pennsylvania can be pretty aggressive about enforcing theirs.
说得没错，不止医疗企业，政府也是如此，宾夕法尼亚州就一直在严格执行赡养法。
I'm an old person and I do not believe it's right: kids should not have to support their parents, period. But you are correct. We are going to see these laws increasingly enforced.
我已是老人，却始终认为子女无义务养父母，但不得不承认，法规执行力度只会越来越大。
@Sinbos
Luckily they changed that recently in Germany. You only have to if you earn more than 100,000€ which is a very good imcome here.
幸运的是，德国修改了法律，仅年收入超 10 万欧元的高收入群体，才需要赡养父母。
Wouldn’t stop me from helping my parents. But makes it kinda voluntary and if you have reason to not help at last you are out in the eye of the law.
我仍愿意主动帮扶父母，但这是自愿选择，就算拒绝，法律也不会追责。
@plazaplum
My parents were amazing to me, they worked but I grew up in poverty. I got married and lived in poverty for 20 years.
我的父母对我极好，勤恳工作却依旧贫寒，我结婚后也过了二十年清贫日子。
Got divorced, by a stroke of luck and some nerves of steel I landed a job which is making really good money, made some smart investments and such.
离婚后，靠运气与拼劲，我找到高薪工作合理理财，终于改善了生活。
I got remarried and we moved across country to care for my parents. They were living in my childhood home which was falling down around them and eating from a food bank because they were too proud to say anything about their finances.
再婚后我搬回老家照顾父母，他们住破房靠慈善接济，却因自尊从不诉说困境。
We sold their house, our house and bought a really nice one. My dad passed last year and wasn't a day that went by that he said how proud of me for providing and that he finally lived in a home that wasn't trash and falling apart.
我们卖房换新房同住，父亲去年离世，生前每一天都为我骄傲，说终于住进了安稳的房子。
Some parents deserve to be taken care of.
有些父母，值得我们倾尽所有去赡养。
@Tardislass
Sorry OP but your assumption that there are lots of programs for seniors and Medicaid and Medicare will help them is laughable.
抱歉楼主，你觉得美国老年福利完善、医保能兜底，这个想法太过天真。
Most senior that only have Medicare are living near poverty. And drug costs go up every month.
大多数仅靠联邦医保的老人，都生活在贫困线边缘，医药费还在逐月上涨。
You have no obligation to help your parents but the BS line that the US actually helps and cares about seniors is laughable.
你没有义务赡养父母，但别觉得美国政府会把老年人照顾得无微不至。
If you don’t want to help don’t. Just don’t think they will be taken care of by the state.
不想帮就不帮，可别指望福利体系能给他们安稳晚年。
Most Medicaid Nursing Homes are in a pitiful state and honestly I wouldn’t put my dog there but for some in the only option.
多数医保养老院条件极差，我连宠物都不愿送进去，可这却是很多老人唯一的选择。
@Ricochetpinecone
Uh, no. I worked for the program that helps seniors and the help is absolutely not disproportionate.
事实并非如此，我曾在老年帮扶机构工作，所谓的福利倾斜，根本是无稽之谈。
@Penelopeslueth
Exactly. My husband and I have tried everything to get extra help for parents, especially since his father went further downhill after his mom passed.
没错，我和丈夫想尽办法为父母申请帮扶，婆婆去世后，公公的身体状况越来越差。
You basically have to know what to do in advance and start the process long before it is needed to actually qualify for any help.
想要申领福利，必须提前了解流程尽早准备，等需要时再办，早就来不及了。
If you do manage to get something accomplished late on the game it’s usually too late.
临时抱佛脚申请帮扶，基本都为时已晚。
@Pale-Butterscotch-16
You need to keep putting your needs first. Save as much as you can for your own retirement.
你一定要优先考虑自己，多为自己的养老存钱。
It's really sad to hear your parents aren't prepared for retirement.
父母没有做好养老规划，确实令人惋惜。
@crustyeng
Maybe this is an individual, case by case kind of thing your parents just suck?
或许这只是个别情况，只是你的父母太过不负责任？
My mom isn’t hurting, but if she was I’d move mountains to get her anything she ever needed, just like she did for me and my sister her entire life.
我母亲生活无忧，但若她需要，我定会拼尽全力满足她，就像她一辈子为我无私付出那样。
We were born into a type of poverty that few people know in rural WV and she lifted us from that with little more than hard work.
我们出身偏远乡村极度贫寒，是母亲靠一己之力，带我们走出了困境。
@Forsaken_Ant7459
To each their own. My parents were and are wonderful people and I would do a lot for them, for the love and life they gave me, despite from humble origins.
每个人情况不同，我的父母善良尽责，即便出身贫寒，也给了我全部的爱，我愿意为他们付出一切。
@Adventurous_Dog_775
Sometimes parents need to learn the hard way. If you enable them, they will continue to just rely on you.
有时候父母总要吃点苦头才醒悟，一味纵容，只会让他们永远依赖你。
There's that saying about on being on an airplane, you have to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others.
就像坐飞机的安全提示：先戴好自己的氧气面罩，再去帮助别人。
@klutzosaurus-sex
This country disproportionately helps seniors? I was just able to get my mom survivors benefits so her monthly income bumped up from $575 to $975 and that’s what she’s expected to live on. She’s 82 and still needs to work.
说什么美国对老年人福利倾斜？我帮母亲申请福利后，她月收入才涨到 975 美元，82 岁高龄还得工作。
The US does disproportionately help seniors. We spend 2x as much on retirees as working people, and 6x as much as children.
美国对老年群体财政支出偏高，花在退休人员身上的钱，是劳动者的两倍、儿童的六倍。
That system drains people of money when they need it most and sends it to people who had their whole lives to accumulate wealth.
这套体系压榨年轻人，反而补贴给有一生时间积累财富的老年人。
That is NOT to say that senior poverty doesn't exist. It absolutely does, and if we're spending so much on seniors it needs to make its way into the pockets of those who need it.
这并非否认老年贫困，正因为投入大量资金，更该让真正有需要的老人得到帮扶。
A ton of senior benefits are paid to people who don't need it and simply spend their benefits on luxuries while people starve. It's frustrating and sad.
可大量福利流向衣食无忧的老人，被挥霍在奢侈品上，贫困老人却食不果腹，实在心寒。
@Sad-obxt3365
I'm ok with the idea that you don't owe your parents anything, that is up to each person and their situation.
我认同 “你不欠父母任何东西”，这因人而异，取决于各自的经历。
I can tell that your situation has made you a bit resentful towards your parents and I'm sure that is affecting your decision and that's fine also.
能看出来，你的遭遇让你怨恨父母，这影响了你的决定，这完全可以理解。
The only point you mentioned that I would argue against is that older people are disproportionately helped in the US.
我唯一不认同的，是你说美国对老年人过度扶持。
If you think that getting half assed Medicare coverage and getting a small amount of Social Security after paying into the system your whole life is privileged, then you are going to be very let down when you get to that age.
若你觉得缴一辈子社保，换来不完善医保和微薄退休金是特权，等你年老只会倍感失望。
@Terpsichorean_Wombat
Something everyone should know, especially if like OP's father they have been avoiding work or if they've been getting paid under the table to avoid taxes, is that Social Security is based on what you put in.
所有人都该明白，社保福利与缴费年限、金额直接挂钩，尤其对逃避工作、避税的人而言。
You need to have reported a (low) minimum amount for at least 10 years to be eligible for anything.
必须累计申报 10 年最低收入，才有资格领取社保。
If you are eligible for payments, they are calculated from an average of your 35 highest-earning years.
退休金计算标准，是你收入最高的 35 年平均值。
If you don't have 35 years of work, you are averaging in zeroes. If you under-reported your earnings, your benefits will be lower.
无 35 年工作记录就按零收入算，隐瞒收入，退休金也会减少。
If your spouse is eligible, you can receive a partial benefit based on their benefit. But the big picture here is that there is no free ride waiting you in old age. Someone needs to have put money in.
配偶符合条件可领部分福利，但核心是，老年没有免费保障，所有福利都需提前付出代价。
@lEauFly4
The comparison that people make with flying (i.e. putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others) stands.
飞机上的比喻再贴切不过：先自保，再助人。
You shouldn’t help someone else financially if it comes at the detriment to yourself/your own family (spouse/kids).
若资助父母会损害你和家人的生活，那就果断拒绝。
No is a full sentence. They don’t have to know that you have savings for your own goals and retirement; it’s none of their business.
“不” 本身就是完整回答，不必告诉他们你的存款规划，这是你的私事。
@GandalfTheSleigh
My mother would be homeless before I’d take care of her. Thankfully I live in a state where filial laws aren’t a thing.
就算我母亲流落街头，我也不会赡养她，幸好我所在的州没有赡养法规。
SOME parents don’t deserve a single thing from their children.
有些父母，根本不配得到子女的半分回报。
@02meepmeep
Seems like the same thing they told me when I turned 18. Fair’s fair.
我十八岁成年时，他们也是这么对我的，一报还一报，公平得很。
@Hwy_Witch
Zero chance I'm going to abandon my parents, ever.
我永远不会抛弃我的父母，绝对不会。
@smedleyyee
No YOU don’t owe YOUR parents anything. I owe my parents quite a bit.
你不欠你的父母，不代表所有人都如此，我亏欠我的父母太多。
@AnaDion94
Of course I don’t. Nobody owes anyone anything. But my mom has supported me without fail for her entire life.
诚然，没有人天生亏欠谁，可我的母亲，一辈子都在毫无保留地守护我。
If I lost my job tomorrow, she’d be using her little old lady body to help me move back home within the week. She’d even take my annoying boyfriend and annoying dog.
若我明天失业，她就算年迈体弱，也会一周内帮我搬回家，连我挑剔的男友和调皮的狗都一并接纳。
If my car broke down, shed stress herself financially to get me at least a down payment on something reliable.
若我的车坏了，她就算节衣缩食，也会凑钱给我付新车首付。
So no. I don’t owe her anything, but if I am ever in a situation where I can provide for her what she cannot provide for herself, I’m going to do it.
所以我确实不欠她，可只要我有能力，就一定会给她安稳的晚年，就像她当年守护我那样。
@MobileAny4294
I completely agree with you. My mom raised 7 kids by herself and she was an amazing human being.
我完全认同，我母亲独自抚养七个孩子，平凡而伟大。
I helped her financially every month when she couldn’t work and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
她失去劳动能力后，我每月给她生活费，重来一次，我依然会这么做。
@Mightyfalcore
I was brought up that parents should provide for their children. The next generation should be better off than the previous.
我从小被教导：父母的责任是养育子女，让下一代过得比上一代更好。
I do not have to provide financial assistance to my parents, and my children will not have to provide for me.
我不必赡养我的父母，我的孩子，也无需为我的晚年负责。
相关推荐译文
