研究发现：青少年是否接受父母的教导，取决于父母是否真正践行了自己所说的话。若父母在日常生活中始终如一地以身作则，他们的教导更可能被青少年视为指导，而不是控制
正文翻译
Steiney1
Children are always the first to be able to see their own parents' hypocrisy.
孩子总能最先看出父母的虚伪。
cityshepherd
I was a good kid, always went to class / got good grades / didn’t drink or smoke anything / excelled at sports yada yada. When I was about 14 my mom started going through and searching my room going through my stuff. She was a rebellious child and her parents took the door off her bedroom when she was that age, and I’m sure she was convinced I was up to no good because she was up to no good at that age. And I learned very quickly that anything I told her would IMMEDIATELY hit the grapevine… so she taught me to never trust her with anything because despite all her talk about the importance of honesty she was never honest with me until she was on her deathbed.
我是个好孩子，总是去上课、成绩好、不喝酒不抽烟、运动也很出色。大约14岁的时候，我妈开始翻我房间搜我的东西。她小时候很叛逆，父母甚至把她房门拆掉，所以她一定觉得我也会干坏事，因为她那时候就是这么干的。我很快就发现，我告诉她的任何事情都会立刻传出去……于是她教会了我永远不要信任她。尽管她嘴上一直强调诚实的重要性，但直到临终前，她从未对我真正诚实过。
wintermute93
"Strict parents make good liars" is how I think of it. And once you go down that road it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle, unfortunately. Harsh consequences, it will prompt the reaction "I need to be more careful next time so I'm less likely to get found out". And as it happens, lying convincingly and effectively is absolutely a skill that improves with practice.
我觉得“严格的父母会培养出优秀的说谎者”。不幸的是，一旦走上这条路，就会成为一个自我强化的循环。严厉教育的后果会让孩子想“下次我要更小心，这样就不容易被发现”。而且，能言善辩、有效的撒谎能力，确实是通过练习不断提高的。
bluebing29
I’m going to jot this in my parenting tip book for my future self.
我要把这个记进我的育儿笔记里，留给未来的自己。
YorkiMom6823
My parents started with the age old lie "If you tell the truth you won't be punished" Yup I got punished, verbally & emotionally.
So next time I had my lie ready and I got really good at lying. Didn't help that I was raised in a super religious family and was told "God hates liars and you'll be punished if you lie" So, I noticed that god didn't seem to have a lot to say/do to me when I lied, but my parents sure did. And that encouraged me to get even better at lying. Heck with it, god is mad at me? That's a future me's problem. Right now I just want to keep my folks off my back and survive.
我的父母喜欢说那句最古老的谎言，“如果你说实话，就不会被惩罚”。结果呢？我还是被惩罚了，言语上、精神上都有。
所以，下次我就准备好了谎言，而且越说越顺。更糟的是，我在一个宗教氛围超级浓郁的家庭里长大，被灌输“上帝憎恶撒谎的人，如果你撒谎就会受罚”。可我发现，撒谎时上帝好像没怎么管我，但父母却一定会管。这反而让我更加精于撒谎。至于上帝生不生我的气？那是未来的问题。眼下我只想摆脱父母的折磨，好好活下去。
Zer\\\\_
You can be strict, but fair though. I think the issue is when that strictness leans heavily into unfair territory.
你可以严格，但也要公平。我觉得问题在于，当严格变成严重的不公平时，就会出问题。
Va1ha11a\\\\_
If you're strict, you need to also be strict with yourself, or else you're not actually being fair at all, and then you're creating that hypocrisy that OP is talking about.
如果你对孩子严格，你也必须对自己严格，否则根本算不上公平，只会制造出楼主所说的虚伪。
Pvt\\\\_Lee\\\\_Fapping
"Tell me the truth. I won't get mad; I promise."
Immediately follows up with: "YOU DID WHAT?!"
“告诉我实话，我不会生气的，我保证。”
紧接着就是：“你竟然干了这些事？！”
kelcamer
This made me laugh so hard
Especially the yelling part
这让我笑疯了
之后就是经典的大吼大叫
Children are always the first to be able to see their own parents' hypocrisy.
孩子总能最先看出父母的虚伪。
cityshepherd
I was a good kid, always went to class / got good grades / didn’t drink or smoke anything / excelled at sports yada yada. When I was about 14 my mom started going through and searching my room going through my stuff. She was a rebellious child and her parents took the door off her bedroom when she was that age, and I’m sure she was convinced I was up to no good because she was up to no good at that age. And I learned very quickly that anything I told her would IMMEDIATELY hit the grapevine… so she taught me to never trust her with anything because despite all her talk about the importance of honesty she was never honest with me until she was on her deathbed.
我是个好孩子，总是去上课、成绩好、不喝酒不抽烟、运动也很出色。大约14岁的时候，我妈开始翻我房间搜我的东西。她小时候很叛逆，父母甚至把她房门拆掉，所以她一定觉得我也会干坏事，因为她那时候就是这么干的。我很快就发现，我告诉她的任何事情都会立刻传出去……于是她教会了我永远不要信任她。尽管她嘴上一直强调诚实的重要性，但直到临终前，她从未对我真正诚实过。
wintermute93
"Strict parents make good liars" is how I think of it. And once you go down that road it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle, unfortunately. Harsh consequences, it will prompt the reaction "I need to be more careful next time so I'm less likely to get found out". And as it happens, lying convincingly and effectively is absolutely a skill that improves with practice.
我觉得“严格的父母会培养出优秀的说谎者”。不幸的是，一旦走上这条路，就会成为一个自我强化的循环。严厉教育的后果会让孩子想“下次我要更小心，这样就不容易被发现”。而且，能言善辩、有效的撒谎能力，确实是通过练习不断提高的。
bluebing29
I’m going to jot this in my parenting tip book for my future self.
我要把这个记进我的育儿笔记里，留给未来的自己。
YorkiMom6823
My parents started with the age old lie "If you tell the truth you won't be punished" Yup I got punished, verbally & emotionally.
So next time I had my lie ready and I got really good at lying. Didn't help that I was raised in a super religious family and was told "God hates liars and you'll be punished if you lie" So, I noticed that god didn't seem to have a lot to say/do to me when I lied, but my parents sure did. And that encouraged me to get even better at lying. Heck with it, god is mad at me? That's a future me's problem. Right now I just want to keep my folks off my back and survive.
我的父母喜欢说那句最古老的谎言，“如果你说实话，就不会被惩罚”。结果呢？我还是被惩罚了，言语上、精神上都有。
所以，下次我就准备好了谎言，而且越说越顺。更糟的是，我在一个宗教氛围超级浓郁的家庭里长大，被灌输“上帝憎恶撒谎的人，如果你撒谎就会受罚”。可我发现，撒谎时上帝好像没怎么管我，但父母却一定会管。这反而让我更加精于撒谎。至于上帝生不生我的气？那是未来的问题。眼下我只想摆脱父母的折磨，好好活下去。
Zer\\\\_
You can be strict, but fair though. I think the issue is when that strictness leans heavily into unfair territory.
你可以严格，但也要公平。我觉得问题在于，当严格变成严重的不公平时，就会出问题。
Va1ha11a\\\\_
If you're strict, you need to also be strict with yourself, or else you're not actually being fair at all, and then you're creating that hypocrisy that OP is talking about.
如果你对孩子严格，你也必须对自己严格，否则根本算不上公平，只会制造出楼主所说的虚伪。
Pvt\\\\_Lee\\\\_Fapping
"Tell me the truth. I won't get mad; I promise."
Immediately follows up with: "YOU DID WHAT?!"
“告诉我实话，我不会生气的，我保证。”
紧接着就是：“你竟然干了这些事？！”
kelcamer
This made me laugh so hard
Especially the yelling part
这让我笑疯了
之后就是经典的大吼大叫
评论翻译
Steiney1
Children are always the first to be able to see their own parents' hypocrisy.
孩子总能最先看出父母的虚伪。
cityshepherd
I was a good kid, always went to class / got good grades / didn’t drink or smoke anything / excelled at sports yada yada. When I was about 14 my mom started going through and searching my room going through my stuff. She was a rebellious child and her parents took the door off her bedroom when she was that age, and I’m sure she was convinced I was up to no good because she was up to no good at that age. And I learned very quickly that anything I told her would IMMEDIATELY hit the grapevine… so she taught me to never trust her with anything because despite all her talk about the importance of honesty she was never honest with me until she was on her deathbed.
我是个好孩子，总是去上课、成绩好、不喝酒不抽烟、运动也很出色。大约14岁的时候，我妈开始翻我房间搜我的东西。她小时候很叛逆，父母甚至把她房门拆掉，所以她一定觉得我也会干坏事，因为她那时候就是这么干的。我很快就发现，我告诉她的任何事情都会立刻传出去……于是她教会了我永远不要信任她。尽管她嘴上一直强调诚实的重要性，但直到临终前，她从未对我真正诚实过。
wintermute93
"Strict parents make good liars" is how I think of it. And once you go down that road it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle, unfortunately. Harsh consequences, it will prompt the reaction "I need to be more careful next time so I'm less likely to get found out". And as it happens, lying convincingly and effectively is absolutely a skill that improves with practice.
我觉得“严格的父母会培养出优秀的说谎者”。不幸的是，一旦走上这条路，就会成为一个自我强化的循环。严厉教育的后果会让孩子想“下次我要更小心，这样就不容易被发现”。而且，能言善辩、有效的撒谎能力，确实是通过练习不断提高的。
bluebing29
I’m going to jot this in my parenting tip book for my future self.
我要把这个记进我的育儿笔记里，留给未来的自己。
YorkiMom6823
My parents started with the age old lie "If you tell the truth you won't be punished" Yup I got punished, verbally & emotionally.
So next time I had my lie ready and I got really good at lying. Didn't help that I was raised in a super religious family and was told "God hates liars and you'll be punished if you lie" So, I noticed that god didn't seem to have a lot to say/do to me when I lied, but my parents sure did. And that encouraged me to get even better at lying. Heck with it, god is mad at me? That's a future me's problem. Right now I just want to keep my folks off my back and survive.
我的父母喜欢说那句最古老的谎言，“如果你说实话，就不会被惩罚”。结果呢？我还是被惩罚了，言语上、精神上都有。
所以，下次我就准备好了谎言，而且越说越顺。更糟的是，我在一个宗教氛围超级浓郁的家庭里长大，被灌输“上帝憎恶撒谎的人，如果你撒谎就会受罚”。可我发现，撒谎时上帝好像没怎么管我，但父母却一定会管。这反而让我更加精于撒谎。至于上帝生不生我的气？那是未来的问题。眼下我只想摆脱父母的折磨，好好活下去。
Zer\\\\_
You can be strict, but fair though. I think the issue is when that strictness leans heavily into unfair territory.
你可以严格，但也要公平。我觉得问题在于，当严格变成严重的不公平时，就会出问题。
Va1ha11a\\\\_
If you're strict, you need to also be strict with yourself, or else you're not actually being fair at all, and then you're creating that hypocrisy that OP is talking about.
如果你对孩子严格，你也必须对自己严格，否则根本算不上公平，只会制造出楼主所说的虚伪。
Pvt\\\\_Lee\\\\_Fapping
"Tell me the truth. I won't get mad; I promise."
Immediately follows up with: "YOU DID WHAT?!"
“告诉我实话，我不会生气的，我保证。”
紧接着就是：“你竟然干了这些事？！”
kelcamer
This made me laugh so hard
Especially the yelling part
这让我笑疯了
之后就是经典的大吼大叫
Children are always the first to be able to see their own parents' hypocrisy.
孩子总能最先看出父母的虚伪。
cityshepherd
I was a good kid, always went to class / got good grades / didn’t drink or smoke anything / excelled at sports yada yada. When I was about 14 my mom started going through and searching my room going through my stuff. She was a rebellious child and her parents took the door off her bedroom when she was that age, and I’m sure she was convinced I was up to no good because she was up to no good at that age. And I learned very quickly that anything I told her would IMMEDIATELY hit the grapevine… so she taught me to never trust her with anything because despite all her talk about the importance of honesty she was never honest with me until she was on her deathbed.
我是个好孩子，总是去上课、成绩好、不喝酒不抽烟、运动也很出色。大约14岁的时候，我妈开始翻我房间搜我的东西。她小时候很叛逆，父母甚至把她房门拆掉，所以她一定觉得我也会干坏事，因为她那时候就是这么干的。我很快就发现，我告诉她的任何事情都会立刻传出去……于是她教会了我永远不要信任她。尽管她嘴上一直强调诚实的重要性，但直到临终前，她从未对我真正诚实过。
wintermute93
"Strict parents make good liars" is how I think of it. And once you go down that road it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle, unfortunately. Harsh consequences, it will prompt the reaction "I need to be more careful next time so I'm less likely to get found out". And as it happens, lying convincingly and effectively is absolutely a skill that improves with practice.
我觉得“严格的父母会培养出优秀的说谎者”。不幸的是，一旦走上这条路，就会成为一个自我强化的循环。严厉教育的后果会让孩子想“下次我要更小心，这样就不容易被发现”。而且，能言善辩、有效的撒谎能力，确实是通过练习不断提高的。
bluebing29
I’m going to jot this in my parenting tip book for my future self.
我要把这个记进我的育儿笔记里，留给未来的自己。
YorkiMom6823
My parents started with the age old lie "If you tell the truth you won't be punished" Yup I got punished, verbally & emotionally.
So next time I had my lie ready and I got really good at lying. Didn't help that I was raised in a super religious family and was told "God hates liars and you'll be punished if you lie" So, I noticed that god didn't seem to have a lot to say/do to me when I lied, but my parents sure did. And that encouraged me to get even better at lying. Heck with it, god is mad at me? That's a future me's problem. Right now I just want to keep my folks off my back and survive.
我的父母喜欢说那句最古老的谎言，“如果你说实话，就不会被惩罚”。结果呢？我还是被惩罚了，言语上、精神上都有。
所以，下次我就准备好了谎言，而且越说越顺。更糟的是，我在一个宗教氛围超级浓郁的家庭里长大，被灌输“上帝憎恶撒谎的人，如果你撒谎就会受罚”。可我发现，撒谎时上帝好像没怎么管我，但父母却一定会管。这反而让我更加精于撒谎。至于上帝生不生我的气？那是未来的问题。眼下我只想摆脱父母的折磨，好好活下去。
Zer\\\\_
You can be strict, but fair though. I think the issue is when that strictness leans heavily into unfair territory.
你可以严格，但也要公平。我觉得问题在于，当严格变成严重的不公平时，就会出问题。
Va1ha11a\\\\_
If you're strict, you need to also be strict with yourself, or else you're not actually being fair at all, and then you're creating that hypocrisy that OP is talking about.
如果你对孩子严格，你也必须对自己严格，否则根本算不上公平，只会制造出楼主所说的虚伪。
Pvt\\\\_Lee\\\\_Fapping
"Tell me the truth. I won't get mad; I promise."
Immediately follows up with: "YOU DID WHAT?!"
“告诉我实话，我不会生气的，我保证。”
紧接着就是：“你竟然干了这些事？！”
kelcamer
This made me laugh so hard
Especially the yelling part
这让我笑疯了
之后就是经典的大吼大叫
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