欧盟圈笑谈:如何用一句话惹毛一整个国家?
2022-08-20 yzy86 13641
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1、"An Alfredo sauce pasta for me and a pepperoni pizza for him"

(意)“给我一份阿尔弗雷多酱意面,给他一份意大利腊肠披萨”
(回复1)Or worst, a pineapple pizza?
(法)或者更糟的情况是,一份菠萝披萨?
(回复2)...with ketchup on both.
(瑞典)…两份都加上番茄酱
(回复3)We Americans do not put ketchup on pizza. I can say that much in our defense.
我们美国人是不会往披萨上倒番茄酱的。我感觉这简直是对我们的冒犯了。
(回复4)"Where''s Firenze?"

"It''s near Florence."

(英格兰)“Firenze在哪里?”
“在佛罗伦萨附近吧”
(译注:Firenze为佛罗伦萨的意大利文名称)

2、Are you from Germany?

(荷)你是德国人吗?
(回复1)You swamp Germans are weird.
(葡)你们这些低地德国人怪怪的。
(回复2)Then why you speak Dutch? Aren''t you Danish?
(德)那你为什么要说荷兰语呢?你不是丹麦人吗?
(译注:丹麦语在发音上很接近荷兰语)
(回复3)Aren''t y''all drunk Englishmen trying to speak German
(德法)你们全都是试图讲德语的英国醉鬼,不是吗?

3、“oh where in England is that”

(苏格兰)“哦,(苏格兰)位于英格兰的哪里?”
(回复1)The part of England where men wear skirts
你们就是英格兰那块男人穿裙子的地界吧

4、"I''ve always wanted to visit Eastern Europe and Slovenia especially."

(斯洛伐克)“我一直都想去东欧看看,特别是斯洛文尼亚”
(译注:斯洛伐克(斯漏伐ki亚)和斯洛文尼亚(斯漏V尼亚)的英语发音容易混淆)
(回复1)"y''all speak Russian right?"
(德)“你们都说俄语对吧?”
(回复2)I was last week in Portugal and someone asked me if Adriatic sea that Czechia lies by it is as good as their beach.
上周我在葡萄牙,有个人问我说,捷克边上的亚得里亚海是否和葡萄牙海滩一样好。
(译注:亚得里亚海临接斯洛文尼亚,不邻接捷克或斯洛伐克)

5、"You are French". Will piss off any Belgian, Walloon or Flemish.

(比)“你是法国人”。这会惹毛任何一个比利时人、瓦隆人或佛兰德人。

6、American bread is way superior and their beer is also really nice.

(德)美国人做的面包厉害多了,而且他们的啤酒也真心好喝。
(回复1)That is how to offend an entire continent.
(罗马尼亚)这句会冒犯到整个欧陆哦。
(回复2)Our bread sucks, but we''ve gotten a lot better with our beer. We''ve gone a little overboard with it, in fact. To be sure, there are still plenty of rednecks and old farts who continue to drink millions upon millions of liters of the mass market pisswater that we were always known for.

Now, if someone went and said that America has better beer than Germany, I would be pissed off on your behalf!

(美)我们的面包很烂,但我们的啤酒已经有了长足的进步。事实上我们对啤酒还是有点小热情的。当然了,还是有大量的红脖子和老头继续喝着几百万公升的大众化马尿,让我们闻名世界的也一直都是这一点。
现在,如果有人出来说什么美国的啤酒比德国好,我还是会替你们恼火两下的。
(回复3)To be fair, American beers and German beers are on the same level : fermented cereals flavoured water. They don''t beat Belgian trappist and special beers by a long shot.
(比)公平地说,美国啤酒和德国啤酒是处在一个水平线上的:都是发过酵的谷物风味水。它们绝无可能胜过比利时的修道院啤酒和特种啤酒。
(译注:修道院啤酒(Trappist)是公认的上等佳品。世界上共有11款修道院啤酒,其中6款产于比利时)
(回复4)Actually, American craft beer can be nice. Not always, but can be. And often is.
实际上,美国的精酿啤酒可能会好喝。并不总是如此,但有一定的几率会好喝。而且往往都挺好喝的。

7、you are Latino, right?

(西)你是拉美人,对吧?
(回复1)And then they say "You don''t look Hispanic"
(西)接着他们会说,“你看起来没有西班牙味儿”
(回复2)Indeed I am, considering that I come from fucking Latium. Stop appropriating my culture!
我确实会,考虑到我来自该死的拉丁姆,别再对我的文化干这种雀占鸠巢的事了!
(译注:拉丁姆即拉齐奥,为意大利的一个大区)

8、All romanians are gypsies.

(罗马尼亚)所有罗马尼亚人都是吉普赛人。
(回复1)And then one of my Romanian friends'' first reaction (I just realised I know a surprising amount of Romanians given I''ve never been near there) when we came across a group of gypsy beggars: "I bet you they are from Romania...", with the deepest of sighs in her voice.
(瑞士)然而,我有个罗马尼亚朋友(我才意识到我认识的罗马尼亚人出奇的多,虽然我从没去过那国周边)的第一反应说明了一切,她拿出的是最深沉的叹息,当时我们路过一群吉普赛乞丐,我说,“我敢和你打赌,他们是从罗马尼亚来的…”

9、I like my fries French, my beer Dutch oh and btw Prendergast took the correct decision.

(比)我喜欢法式炸薯条和荷兰啤酒,顺便一说哦,普伦德加斯特作出了正确的决定。
(译注:薯条起源于比利时;02年世界杯,比利时队在八分之一决赛中对阵巴西时,牙买加籍裁判普伦德加斯特吹掉了比利时的一个进球,致其出局)

10、"How are you doing, Budapest?"
A trend started by Michael Jackson in ''92 followed by Ozzy, Metallica, Lenny Kravitz, Whitesnake, Iron Maiden – the list of touring rock stars who don’t know the difference between Bucharest and Budapest seems to grow every year.

(罗马尼亚)“布达佩斯的各位,你们好吗?”
这种说法是迈克尔杰克逊在92年首创的,并由Ozzy、Metallica、Lenny Kravitz、 Whitesnake、铁娘子乐队沿袭,那些搞巡回演出的摇滚巨星里,分不清布加勒斯特和布达佩斯的人每年都在增加。

11、“Amsterdam is a beautiful country”
Or
“you’re Dutch? I LOVE Denmark!”
Or
“Which part of Germany is that?”

“阿姆斯特丹是个美丽的国家”
或,“你是荷兰人?我喜欢丹麦呢!”
或,“这是德国的哪个地区啊?”
(回复1)You''re from Holland?
(瑞典)你是从Holland来的吗?
(译注:尼德兰与荷兰之别;该国从2020年起正式废除了Holland这个名称)

12、you are germans.

(奥)你们是德国人。
(回复1)Well the most famous German was Austrian
好吧,最有名的德国人是个奥地利人。
(回复2)Isn''t it "how often a day do you see kangaroos?"
(巴伐利亚)难道不是,“你们一天中看到袋鼠的频率高么?”

13、"Why do you speak Brazilian in Portugal if it''s a part of Spain?"

(芬)“如果葡萄牙是西班牙一部分的话,你们为什么还要在葡萄牙说巴西语呢?”
(回复1)Reminds me of how the Mexican flag is sometimes used for Spanish.
(美)这让我想起了,有时候墨西哥国旗会被充作西班牙国旗。

14、Are italians white?

(意)意大利人属于白人吗?
(回复1)No, they’re on the same level of filth as the Irish. Fucking clover-nibblers
不不不,他们的肮脏程度可以和爱尔兰人媲美。这些该死的啃三叶草的家伙。
(回复2)Dumb American here... What’s the actual answer to this? I’m American with Sicilian ancestors and I have much darker skin than every white person I’ve ever met. My features look “caucasian” but no one ever says my skin is white. But my family always thought Italian heritage means we are white.
蠢萌蠢萌的美国人在此…这个问题的答案到底是什么?我是美国人,我的祖先则是西西里人,我的肤色比我迄今碰到过的每个白人都深得多。我的体貌特征看起来像“高加索人(白人)”,但从来没人说过我的皮肤白。但我的家人一直认为,意大利裔就意味着我们是白人。

15、His (you know who) policies weren''t all that bad.

他(是谁你懂的)的政策并不全都是坏的。
(回复1)Say what you want about Hitler, he still killed Hitler so that’s a positive in my book.
(爱尔兰)随你怎么说希特勒,他还是亲手把希特勒给杀了,所以依我看,这一点还是很正面的。
(回复2)he just wanted the best for his country! so wholesome
(德)他只是想为他的国家谋取最好的东西!所带来的益处如此之多
(回复3)youre actually allowed to say his name on the internet
(德)实际上,在网络上提他的名字是允许的。
(回复4)Well I mean I am not a huge Voldemort fan but he had a point or two...
(德)好吧,虽说我不太喜欢伏地魔,但他还说有几分道理的…
(译注:you know who为哈利波特系列中伏地魔的代称)
(回复5)But he, like, made the A u t o b a h n and liked his dog and shit! /s
(纽约)可是他缔造了德国高速公路,还很爱他的狗狗什么的!

16、`All Russians men are alcoholics and women are prostitutes.` Nationalists from Central Asia use it.
`All your grandpas are rapists` - Often could be met between western people.

(俄)“俄罗斯男人都是酒鬼,而俄罗斯女人都是妓女”,中亚国家的民族主义者会这么说。
“你们的爷爷都是强奸犯”,这句在西方人中间常能听到。

17、The USA won WWII

美国赢得了二战。
(回复1)No. This wording will not offend anyone, but `America defeated Hitler` can.
(俄)不。这句话冒犯不到任何人,但“是美国人打败了希特勒”就会。

18、"Switzerland? You mean Sweden, right?"
Something about Swiss wealth only existing because of Nazi gold.

(瑞士)“瑞士?你指的是瑞典,对吧?”
瑞士的财富能存在是因为纳粹的黄金,大意如此。

19、Why did they built this castle like the one in Disney World?

(德)他们为什么不把这个城堡造成迪斯尼乐园里那样?
(译注:新天鹅堡梗)

20、Calling us Germans.
Though I personally actually find it kind of flattering because it shows the persons saying it, while being wrong, has at least a slight interest in our history/culture.

(奥)把我们称作德国人。
但是,我个人还真觉得这句话有点讨喜呢,因为这证明了说这话的人,虽然说错了,至少对我们的历史文化小有兴趣。
(回复1)Austrians = Mountain Germans

English = Boat Germans
Swedes = Snow Germans
Dutch = Swamp Germans
Swiss = Cheese Germans
Belgians = Chocolate Germans
Lichtensteiners = Money Germans
Luxembourgers = French Germans

英国人=船上的德国人
瑞典人=雪地里的德国人
荷兰人=低地德国人
瑞士人=酷爱奶酪的德国人
比利时人=酷爱巧克力的德国人
列支敦士登人=有钱的德国人
卢森堡人=说法语的德国人

21、"You''re a part of the UK right?" Yeah, a lot of people died to get us out of it. 700 years of oppression and all.
"Irelands that''s small bit near England?", No we are our own Island and that''s also another country called wales.
The best one I got "Isn''t Ireland a Peninsula of England?", my eye twitched so hard when they said that to me.

(爱尔兰)“你们是英国的一部分对吧?”是啊是啊,好多好多的人为了不让我们成为英国的一部分而死去了,被压迫了700年什么的。
“爱尔兰就是英国旁边那一小块对吧?”,不,我们是我们这个岛的主人,你说的那个是另一个叫作威尔士的国家。
我听到过的最带劲儿的一句是,“爱尔兰不就是英格兰的一个半岛吗?”他们对我说出这句话的时候,我的眼球都抽搐到不行。

22、Operation Storm, more like Operation GENOCIDE
or something Ustashe related
EDIT: And Catholic Serbs

(克罗地亚)风暴行动,倒不如说是种族灭绝行动
或是和乌斯塔沙有关的
补充:加上,“信天主教的塞尔维亚人”
(译注:风暴行动是克罗地亚战争最后一场主要战役,击溃了境内的塞族武装;乌斯塔沙是活跃于二战前后的法西斯组织,于1929年在保加利亚首都索菲亚成立,其目标是让克罗地亚从南斯拉夫中独立,曾与墨索里尼暗通款曲)

23、"Oh, so you''re basically Croatian?" Replace Serbia and Croatia with any two former Yugoslav countries and you''ve committed suicide

(塞尔维亚)“哦,所以其实你就是克罗地亚人?”,把塞尔维亚和克罗地亚替换成任意两个前南斯拉夫国家,那你这就是自杀行为了。

24、"Britain did nothing wrong"

(爱尔兰)“英国并没有做错过什么。”
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


25、Print a map where Kosovo is separate.

打印一张把科索沃标为独立国家的地图。
原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处


26、The Dutch king looks like a young Trump

荷兰国王长得像年轻的特朗普。

27、I''ll do you one better. Let''s insult everyone in Europe with this American sentence;
"Do you sell [insert regional cheese] Aerosol spray cans?"

(荷)我给你们来条更棒的。就用这句美国人的话来羞辱整个欧洲吧?
“你这儿卖不卖(罐填本地奶酪)的气溶胶喷雾罐?”



(回复1)As an American living here, I just want to put it out there that shitty cheese has it’s place and I miss it very much.

Shitty food often makes the tastiest junk food.
Spray cheese is to cheese as the Frikandel is to meat.

作为生活在这里(荷兰)的美国人,我只想说出心里话,这种劣等奶酪自有其地位,我很想念它呢。
劣质食品往往是最好吃的垃圾食品。
Spray牌喷雾奶酪在奶酪界的地位,就如同Frikandel在肉菜中的地位。

原创翻译:龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处




(译注:Frikandel是二战后开发的荷兰传统小吃,形同热狗,内夹碎肉)

28、"Ceaușescu was really good for this country"

(罗马尼亚)“齐奥塞斯库真的为这个国家做过好事。”

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