你同事犯过的最愚蠢的错误是什么？
正文翻译
What's the dumbest mistake youve seen an incompetent co worker make?
你同事犯过的最愚蠢的错误是什么？
What's the dumbest mistake youve seen an incompetent co worker make?
你同事犯过的最愚蠢的错误是什么？
评论翻译
PumpkinsDad
At a Petco all the Guinea pigs were in a big plexi-glass enclosure with a center divider. Boys on one side and girls on the other. An employee decided that all the long haired Guinea pigs should be on one side and short haired on the other. It took forever to sort them out and all the females were pregnant.
在一家宠物商店里。所有的天竺鼠都被放在了一个巨大的有机玻璃容器里面，中间有个隔断。左边是公的，右边是母的。然后有一名员工觉得应该把所有长毛的天竺鼠放在一边，短毛的放在另一边。我们花了很久才把他们重新挑出来，而且到最后所有母的天竺鼠都怀孕了。
At a Petco all the Guinea pigs were in a big plexi-glass enclosure with a center divider. Boys on one side and girls on the other. An employee decided that all the long haired Guinea pigs should be on one side and short haired on the other. It took forever to sort them out and all the females were pregnant.
在一家宠物商店里。所有的天竺鼠都被放在了一个巨大的有机玻璃容器里面，中间有个隔断。左边是公的，右边是母的。然后有一名员工觉得应该把所有长毛的天竺鼠放在一边，短毛的放在另一边。我们花了很久才把他们重新挑出来，而且到最后所有母的天竺鼠都怀孕了。
Ohiolongboard
Tried to cool down hot oil (in a chute, all ready to be emptied) with a nice big bucket of water…..I heard “THOMAS NO” only to turn around and see a GEYSER of hot oil shooting towards the ceiling before it hit and splashed down around him. Nobody was hurt some fucking how
想要用一大桶凉水冷却热油（在斜槽里，准备好清空了）。我听到一声大喊“托马斯，别！”转过身一看，只看见热油像喷泉一样射到了天花板上，然后又洒在了他身边。不知道为什么，没有人受伤。
Tried to cool down hot oil (in a chute, all ready to be emptied) with a nice big bucket of water…..I heard “THOMAS NO” only to turn around and see a GEYSER of hot oil shooting towards the ceiling before it hit and splashed down around him. Nobody was hurt some fucking how
想要用一大桶凉水冷却热油（在斜槽里，准备好清空了）。我听到一声大喊“托马斯，别！”转过身一看，只看见热油像喷泉一样射到了天花板上，然后又洒在了他身边。不知道为什么，没有人受伤。
Onwisconsin42
I worked on a golf course during the summer. Area with lots of poison ivy. Two of my coworkers were instructed to weedy a river edge area. If we encounter poison ivy, we either stop what we are doing or go get full suit protection with respirators. These dumbasses were weedwhacking in the thickest poison ivy I had ever seen. No protective suit or glasses or respirator.
我夏天在高尔夫球场工作。那个地方有很多毒漆藤。我有两个同事要去河畔的一片区域拔除杂草。如果我们遇到毒漆藤的话，那么我们要么停下手头做的事情，要么赶紧穿上全套的防护服，带上防毒面具。但是这两个蠢货在拔一根我这辈子见过的最粗的毒漆藤。既没有穿防护服，也没有戴眼镜，也没有戴防毒面具。
I worked on a golf course during the summer. Area with lots of poison ivy. Two of my coworkers were instructed to weedy a river edge area. If we encounter poison ivy, we either stop what we are doing or go get full suit protection with respirators. These dumbasses were weedwhacking in the thickest poison ivy I had ever seen. No protective suit or glasses or respirator.
我夏天在高尔夫球场工作。那个地方有很多毒漆藤。我有两个同事要去河畔的一片区域拔除杂草。如果我们遇到毒漆藤的话，那么我们要么停下手头做的事情，要么赶紧穿上全套的防护服，带上防毒面具。但是这两个蠢货在拔一根我这辈子见过的最粗的毒漆藤。既没有穿防护服，也没有戴眼镜，也没有戴防毒面具。
I roll up and notice what the hell they're doing and point out all the poison ivy everywhere- they were aerosolizing the oil. They both ended up in the hospital on steroid to prevent their death because of the oils they inhaled.
我路过的时候发现了他们，于是我向他们指出这附近到处都是的毒漆藤，告诉他们这是在把有毒的油变成气溶胶。他们最后都去医院打类固醇了，因为自己吸入了太多的油，差点死掉。
我路过的时候发现了他们，于是我向他们指出这附近到处都是的毒漆藤，告诉他们这是在把有毒的油变成气溶胶。他们最后都去医院打类固醇了，因为自己吸入了太多的油，差点死掉。
Frostygale
Ngl, as somebody who has never seen poison ivy first hand, I’d probably have done the same thing cause I assumed it’s on contact and not an oil-based thing.
说真的像我这种没有亲眼见过毒漆藤的人，可能也会做同样的事情，因为我会以为他是接触之后让人中毒的，而不是跟油有关。
Ngl, as somebody who has never seen poison ivy first hand, I’d probably have done the same thing cause I assumed it’s on contact and not an oil-based thing.
说真的像我这种没有亲眼见过毒漆藤的人，可能也会做同样的事情，因为我会以为他是接触之后让人中毒的，而不是跟油有关。
Then again if I lived in a part of the world where it grew, I’d probably know a bit more about how to keep myself safe from it.
但是如果我生活在一个四周会长毒漆藤的地方，那么我可能就会了解更多让我不会被他伤害的方法了。
但是如果我生活在一个四周会长毒漆藤的地方，那么我可能就会了解更多让我不会被他伤害的方法了。
sherryshock
If you burn poison ivy, the oil becomes airborne and you get poison ivy in your lungs and you get a lovely hospital stay.
如果你把毒漆藤点燃的话，里面的油会进入到空气中。你就会把有毒的东西吸入到你的肺里。然后你就要去医院住一阵子了。
If you burn poison ivy, the oil becomes airborne and you get poison ivy in your lungs and you get a lovely hospital stay.
如果你把毒漆藤点燃的话，里面的油会进入到空气中。你就会把有毒的东西吸入到你的肺里。然后你就要去医院住一阵子了。
atot806
The designer, creative director and head of production all missed that there was an eight day week on a calendar. We sent 10000 copies of a useless calendar to a client. Rightly so, they refused to pay for it.
设计师，创意总监和生产总监全都没有注意到在日历上印了一个八天的星期。我们给一个客户送了1万份毫无用处的日历。于是他们有权拒绝支付。
The designer, creative director and head of production all missed that there was an eight day week on a calendar. We sent 10000 copies of a useless calendar to a client. Rightly so, they refused to pay for it.
设计师，创意总监和生产总监全都没有注意到在日历上印了一个八天的星期。我们给一个客户送了1万份毫无用处的日历。于是他们有权拒绝支付。
zachm26
Not a mistake necessarily, but I once witnessed our chief accounting officer (and our only accountant; it was a small company) type in values into two Excel cells, pull out a calculator, add the two numbers together in the calculator, and then type the answer in a third cell.
虽然不一定算是失误，但是我有一次见到过我们的首席会计师（同时也是我们唯一的会计，因为我们的公司很小）在excel表格里，把两个值分别输入到两个格子里，然后拿出计算器，用计算器把这两个数字加起来，然后把答案输入到第三个格子里。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Not a mistake necessarily, but I once witnessed our chief accounting officer (and our only accountant; it was a small company) type in values into two Excel cells, pull out a calculator, add the two numbers together in the calculator, and then type the answer in a third cell.
虽然不一定算是失误，但是我有一次见到过我们的首席会计师（同时也是我们唯一的会计，因为我们的公司很小）在excel表格里，把两个值分别输入到两个格子里，然后拿出计算器，用计算器把这两个数字加起来，然后把答案输入到第三个格子里。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
She had apparently been doing this for years, with sheets consisting of thousands of rows. I explained how to use formulas and copy them but she apparently forgot because I saw her doing the same thing again months later.
她已经这么做了好几年了。而且那种好几千行的表格，她也是这么做的。我跟他解释了如何使用公式，如何复制公式。但是她显然后来忘了，因为几个月之后我又看见他做同样的事情。
她已经这么做了好几年了。而且那种好几千行的表格，她也是这么做的。我跟他解释了如何使用公式，如何复制公式。但是她显然后来忘了，因为几个月之后我又看见他做同样的事情。
Tangent_
she apparently forgot because I saw her doing the same thing again months later.
引用：“但是她显然后来忘了，因为几个月之后我又看见他做同样的事情。”
she apparently forgot because I saw her doing the same thing again months later.
引用：“但是她显然后来忘了，因为几个月之后我又看见他做同样的事情。”
Based on my years in tech support I'm pretty sure she never understood in the first place. Way too many people will agree to anything and everything just to end the conversation when you're trying to teach them something.
基于我好几年来在技术支持方面工作的经历，我很确定她一开始就没搞懂。有很多人在你想要教他们一件东西的时候，他们只会一个劲儿的点头，只想要赶快结束这段对话。
基于我好几年来在技术支持方面工作的经历，我很确定她一开始就没搞懂。有很多人在你想要教他们一件东西的时候，他们只会一个劲儿的点头，只想要赶快结束这段对话。
muppetmat13
Shut down a critical file server, then lied about it...even after he was presented with the logs that showed it was his user account that initiated the shut down.
把一个非常关键的文件服务器弄停机了。然后说了谎。即便我们把他用自己的用户账号登陆，并且关停了文件服务器的操作记录摆在了他的脸上。
Shut down a critical file server, then lied about it...even after he was presented with the logs that showed it was his user account that initiated the shut down.
把一个非常关键的文件服务器弄停机了。然后说了谎。即便我们把他用自己的用户账号登陆，并且关停了文件服务器的操作记录摆在了他的脸上。
It's not so much the mistake that he made, but it was when he lied about making the mistake...that was a rookie move.
他所犯的这个错误本身并不算严重，但是他选择撒谎来掩盖这个错误，这就是菜鸟才会做的事了。
他所犯的这个错误本身并不算严重，但是他选择撒谎来掩盖这个错误，这就是菜鸟才会做的事了。
shaidyn
I worked as a database tech once, and my boss was super up front in training.
我曾经在数据库工作过。我的老板在员工培训的时候说的非常直白。
I worked as a database tech once, and my boss was super up front in training.
我曾经在数据库工作过。我的老板在员工培训的时候说的非常直白。
"If you fuck up, come tell me immediately. No matter how bad it is, come tell me and I can try to help you fix it.
“如果你搞砸了什么东西就立刻来告诉我。不论有多糟糕，只要你来告诉我，我就可以帮你解决问题。”
“如果你搞砸了什么东西就立刻来告诉我。不论有多糟糕，只要你来告诉我，我就可以帮你解决问题。”
"But if you try to cover it up, you will fail. It will cause more and more problems until it breaks something important. All the data will be in the logs. I'll find out who fucked up, and I will, let me repeat this, I WILL throw you under the bus.
“但是如果你想要把问题掩盖起来，你是一定会失败的。这个问题会导致越来越多的问题，直到重要的东西被破坏。所有的数据都会在操作记录里面，我是能够找到是谁搞砸了的。而且我会我再说一遍，我就会拿你当替罪羊。”
“但是如果你想要把问题掩盖起来，你是一定会失败的。这个问题会导致越来越多的问题，直到重要的东西被破坏。所有的数据都会在操作记录里面，我是能够找到是谁搞砸了的。而且我会我再说一遍，我就会拿你当替罪羊。”
"So save yourself the trouble, and just tell me when you fuck up."
“所以别整那些有的没的，捅了娄子之后直接告诉我就行。”
“所以别整那些有的没的，捅了娄子之后直接告诉我就行。”
Megasteel32
sounds like a good fair boss
听起来像个好老板。
sounds like a good fair boss
听起来像个好老板。
longhairedape
I worked with an employer who had a zero blame policy. You fuck up you tell us immediately and there is no repercussions. People fear reprisals and try to cover shit up because they need to eat.
我曾经有个老板贯彻的是零责备政策。你要是搞砸了，你立刻通知我们，那么就不会有糟糕的后果。人们都害怕事后挨骂，所以说他们会把自己犯的错误藏起来，因为他们也得吃饭。
I worked with an employer who had a zero blame policy. You fuck up you tell us immediately and there is no repercussions. People fear reprisals and try to cover shit up because they need to eat.
我曾经有个老板贯彻的是零责备政策。你要是搞砸了，你立刻通知我们，那么就不会有糟糕的后果。人们都害怕事后挨骂，所以说他们会把自己犯的错误藏起来，因为他们也得吃饭。
Gotta give your people room for errors, room for owning up and contrition so that they learn and do not do it again. One cannot learn with stress.
得给你的员工留一点犯错误的空间。留一点负起责任和忏悔的空间。这样他们就会长记性，再也不会这么做了，但是在压力之下，人是不会学习进步的。
得给你的员工留一点犯错误的空间。留一点负起责任和忏悔的空间。这样他们就会长记性，再也不会这么做了，但是在压力之下，人是不会学习进步的。
infantinos
I worked for this abhorrent woman who used to go into direct reports documents, dexe lines and columns from spreadsheets, slides from presentations, rewrite copy, etc. She did this to a few of mine so I learned to always keep a backup copy away from her view.
我以前曾经给这么一位令人憎恶的女人打过工，她会直接打开汇报用的文件，删去表格里的行列，删去展示用的幻灯片，把拷贝重写一遍，等等。她对我的工作成果这么做了好几次，所以我学会了永远在她看不见的地方藏一份拷贝。
I worked for this abhorrent woman who used to go into direct reports documents, dexe lines and columns from spreadsheets, slides from presentations, rewrite copy, etc. She did this to a few of mine so I learned to always keep a backup copy away from her view.
我以前曾经给这么一位令人憎恶的女人打过工，她会直接打开汇报用的文件，删去表格里的行列，删去展示用的幻灯片，把拷贝重写一遍，等等。她对我的工作成果这么做了好几次，所以我学会了永远在她看不见的地方藏一份拷贝。
One day, we were virtually reviewing a highly detailed spreadsheet that too quite a bit of time to create. In front of our whole team, she began to harshly criticize and start deleting information and moving things around.
有一天，我们在线上评估一份非常细致的表格，我们花了很长时间制作。在我们整个团队面前，她开始刻薄地批评这个表格，删除信息，把东西挪来挪去。
有一天，我们在线上评估一份非常细致的表格，我们花了很长时间制作。在我们整个团队面前，她开始刻薄地批评这个表格，删除信息，把东西挪来挪去。
By the end of her Tasmanian Devil tirade on the spreadsheet, she barked about how none of the data added up and openly questioned why someone would present this.
在她对表格的大发雷霆结束之后，她又开始质疑为什么这些数据对不上，为什么有人会展示这样一份糟糕的表格。
在她对表格的大发雷霆结束之后，她又开始质疑为什么这些数据对不上，为什么有人会展示这样一份糟糕的表格。
I explained that the data had been tallied correctly at the start of the meeting but due to columns and lines being dexed, it no longer did.
我跟她解释说这些数据在会议开始的时候本来是排列得十分妥当的，但是由于有人删除了几行几列，现在就对不上了。
我跟她解释说这些数据在会议开始的时候本来是排列得十分妥当的，但是由于有人删除了几行几列，现在就对不上了。
She defensively questioned ‘well, WHO did this?’ And I said “we can easily check if we look at the document history, see here.. (with a few clicks shows history of list of changes all with HER name on each in the last 20 minutes).
她反问了一句，“好啊，是谁做的？”然后我说，“如果我们看一眼文档历史的话，我们就可以很容易看见是谁干的了。”（我点了几下，调出了修改历史，过去的20分钟里全都是她的名字）。
她反问了一句，“好啊，是谁做的？”然后我说，“如果我们看一眼文档历史的话，我们就可以很容易看见是谁干的了。”（我点了几下，调出了修改历史，过去的20分钟里全都是她的名字）。
I clicked on the document as it stood when it was initially presented to its original state and correct tally. I was one of the very few who stood up to her. Team 1, abhorrent boss zero.
我打开了这篇文档一开始时的样子，总和都是正确无误的。我是少数几个站出来反对她的人。团队1分，令人作呕的老板零分。
我打开了这篇文档一开始时的样子，总和都是正确无误的。我是少数几个站出来反对她的人。团队1分，令人作呕的老板零分。
Mr_Frible
Tried to retrieve his lighter from a deep fat fryer with his hands. boy was that fun to clean up.
打火机掉进了油炸锅里，他想要用手捞起来。清理现场的时候可有意思了。
Tried to retrieve his lighter from a deep fat fryer with his hands. boy was that fun to clean up.
打火机掉进了油炸锅里，他想要用手捞起来。清理现场的时候可有意思了。
theysocool
The office we worked in was shut down due to covid and the company went 100% remote. A new senior engineer was hired to work directly with our product team and also manage a team of developers. During our company wide weekly zoom meeting after he was done presenting for the company he turned his camera off but forgot to put him self on mute. 100+ people heard this man playing Fortnite and talking down about the company to someone else in the background among other things. He only lasted a month.
我们工作的办公室因为新冠疫情关停了，于是公司转为全线上工作。一个新来的高级工程师要直接跟我们的产品部门合作，并且也要管理一个开发者团队。在我们公司每周的例行会议上，他在做完自己的演讲之后就关掉了摄像头，但是忘记把自己的麦也关掉了。有一百多个人都听见这个兄弟一边打着《堡垒之夜》一边跟别人吐槽自己的公司。他在这个公司只待了一个月。
The office we worked in was shut down due to covid and the company went 100% remote. A new senior engineer was hired to work directly with our product team and also manage a team of developers. During our company wide weekly zoom meeting after he was done presenting for the company he turned his camera off but forgot to put him self on mute. 100+ people heard this man playing Fortnite and talking down about the company to someone else in the background among other things. He only lasted a month.
我们工作的办公室因为新冠疫情关停了，于是公司转为全线上工作。一个新来的高级工程师要直接跟我们的产品部门合作，并且也要管理一个开发者团队。在我们公司每周的例行会议上，他在做完自己的演讲之后就关掉了摄像头，但是忘记把自己的麦也关掉了。有一百多个人都听见这个兄弟一边打着《堡垒之夜》一边跟别人吐槽自己的公司。他在这个公司只待了一个月。
Shubabi
Took the wrong coffin to a funeral. Someone else had to drive to the cemetery with the correct deceased on board, and thankfully they made it before the viewing.
送错了棺材。不得不让另外一个人开着车把正确的死者送到现场。谢天谢地，他们在瞻仰遗体之前把尸体送到了。
Took the wrong coffin to a funeral. Someone else had to drive to the cemetery with the correct deceased on board, and thankfully they made it before the viewing.
送错了棺材。不得不让另外一个人开着车把正确的死者送到现场。谢天谢地，他们在瞻仰遗体之前把尸体送到了。
TheTalentedAmateur
When my brother died, the hearse took the funeral procession to the wrong cemetery. In their defense the funeral home had served our family for years, and almost always buried us at cemetery "A".
我兄弟去世的时候，灵车把参加葬礼的家属带到了另一个墓地。虽然这家殡仪馆已经给我们家服务了好几年，并且一直都会把我们的家人埋在墓地“A”。
When my brother died, the hearse took the funeral procession to the wrong cemetery. In their defense the funeral home had served our family for years, and almost always buried us at cemetery "A".
我兄弟去世的时候，灵车把参加葬礼的家属带到了另一个墓地。虽然这家殡仪馆已经给我们家服务了好几年，并且一直都会把我们的家人埋在墓地“A”。
However, my brother was to be buried at another, smaller, nearby cemetery "B" next to his son. As we pulled in to cemetery "A", there was an obviously confused groundskeeper staring at us. He knew he hadn't opened any graves that day.
然而我兄弟想要被埋在附近另一个小一点的墓地“B”，挨着他的儿子的墓。我们开到墓地“A”的时候，守墓人看向我们的目光非常困惑。因为他知道这一天他没有要埋葬的人。
然而我兄弟想要被埋在附近另一个小一点的墓地“B”，挨着他的儿子的墓。我们开到墓地“A”的时候，守墓人看向我们的目光非常困惑。因为他知道这一天他没有要埋葬的人。
I called he funeral home, and they called the Hearse, which did a loop around. As we drove back past on the way out, I rolled down my window and shouted to the groundskeeper "We've changed our minds".
于是我给殡仪馆打了电话，殡仪馆又给司机打了电话，我们绕了一大圈。在我们往外开的时候，我摇下车窗对守墓人大喊“我们改主意了！”
于是我给殡仪馆打了电话，殡仪馆又给司机打了电话，我们绕了一大圈。在我们往外开的时候，我摇下车窗对守墓人大喊“我们改主意了！”
bozza8
"He's feeling much better now!"
“他现在感觉好多了！”
"He's feeling much better now!"
“他现在感觉好多了！”
jackleggjr
Nearly leaving a child behind on a field trip. We took a large group of 4 and 5 year-old children to visit a farm/petting zoo/pumpkin patch. We had three vehicles. I was in charge of my own group, but I noticed one of the other teachers was being very lax in her supervision for most of the trip.
在带孩子郊游的时候，差点把一个孩子落在后面。我们带着一大群四五岁的孩子去参观一家农场、宠物动物园和南瓜地。我们开了三辆车。我负责自己带的孩子们，但是我发现有另外一位老师在看孩子的过程中态度非常怠惰。
Nearly leaving a child behind on a field trip. We took a large group of 4 and 5 year-old children to visit a farm/petting zoo/pumpkin patch. We had three vehicles. I was in charge of my own group, but I noticed one of the other teachers was being very lax in her supervision for most of the trip.
在带孩子郊游的时候，差点把一个孩子落在后面。我们带着一大群四五岁的孩子去参观一家农场、宠物动物园和南瓜地。我们开了三辆车。我负责自己带的孩子们，但是我发现有另外一位老师在看孩子的过程中态度非常怠惰。
When it was time to leave, I loaded my children on the bus (with some other adults) and did a head-count/attendance check. Before getting on my bus, I noticed that the other teacher had climbed onto her bus and sat down BEFORE the children boarded. She walked on first and had the kids follow her. I almost let it go, but gut instinct told me she wasn't counting her students. Once they were all boarded, I walked back and climbed on her bus. She seemed irritated when she realized I was checking on her... I was not a supervisor or anything, just a fellow teacher, so she didn't answer to me in any way. She said something like, "We're all good, let's go!" I knew how many were in each group, so without answering her, I did a quick count. Sure enough, we were missing one. I ended up leaving the bus and going to find the kid myself... he was still on the playground with children from another school.
在郊游即将结束的时候，我把自己负责的孩子送上了车（还有一些别的成年人），顺便也点了名。在上我的车之前，我发现另一个老师在她负责的孩子上车之前自己先上了车。她自己先走了上去，然后让孩子们跟着她。我差点就没管这件事，但是本能告诉我她没有数自己负责的孩子。于是在他们全都上好车之后，我走回去上了她的车。在她意识到我是在检查她之后，她好像很恼火……毕竟我也不是监督之类的，我只是她同事，所以她根本就没回答我。她说了一句，“我们人都齐了，出发吧！”但我知道每组都有多少人，所以我没有回答她，而是自己快速数了一遍。显然我们少了一个人。于是我下车自己把那个孩子找到了……孩子还在游乐场上和别的学校的孩子玩呢。
在郊游即将结束的时候，我把自己负责的孩子送上了车（还有一些别的成年人），顺便也点了名。在上我的车之前，我发现另一个老师在她负责的孩子上车之前自己先上了车。她自己先走了上去，然后让孩子们跟着她。我差点就没管这件事，但是本能告诉我她没有数自己负责的孩子。于是在他们全都上好车之后，我走回去上了她的车。在她意识到我是在检查她之后，她好像很恼火……毕竟我也不是监督之类的，我只是她同事，所以她根本就没回答我。她说了一句，“我们人都齐了，出发吧！”但我知道每组都有多少人，所以我没有回答她，而是自己快速数了一遍。显然我们少了一个人。于是我下车自己把那个孩子找到了……孩子还在游乐场上和别的学校的孩子玩呢。
When we got back to the bus, the other teacher blamed the kid! She said he "wandered off." Really, she is the one who gathered the group and left the play area, meaning she is the one who "wandered off." She was pissed when I went to the administration about the incident.
我们回到公交车上的时候，那个老师甚至还有脸骂孩子！她说是孩子“自己走丢了”。可她才是那个负责把孩子们叫回来的，所以她才是那个“走丢了”的人。我去找教务处报告这件事的时候她还很生气。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
我们回到公交车上的时候，那个老师甚至还有脸骂孩子！她说是孩子“自己走丢了”。可她才是那个负责把孩子们叫回来的，所以她才是那个“走丢了”的人。我去找教务处报告这件事的时候她还很生气。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
mchollahan
this reminds me of the time the local work camp (re: prison) left an inmate behind at a job site. no one bothered to do a count. fortunately the guy was honest and didn’t want to end up in prison for a longer period of time so he walked himself to the jail. no one wanted to accept the blame for that mistake.
这让我想起我们这里的劳改营（也就是监狱）把一个囚犯落在了工作地点。谁都没数具体的人数。但幸运的是那个囚犯很诚实，他不想被抓进监狱再呆更长的时间，所以他自己就走进监狱里去了。没人想因为这件事担责任。
this reminds me of the time the local work camp (re: prison) left an inmate behind at a job site. no one bothered to do a count. fortunately the guy was honest and didn’t want to end up in prison for a longer period of time so he walked himself to the jail. no one wanted to accept the blame for that mistake.
这让我想起我们这里的劳改营（也就是监狱）把一个囚犯落在了工作地点。谁都没数具体的人数。但幸运的是那个囚犯很诚实，他不想被抓进监狱再呆更长的时间，所以他自己就走进监狱里去了。没人想因为这件事担责任。
monkeynards
I honestly hope he got time off his sentence. I know “good behavior” is a thing and this shows an incredible amount of willpower, responsibility, and honesty
我真心希望他能够得到减刑。我知道“表现良好”是很重要的，这能够证明他拥有难以置信的意志力、责任感和诚实。
I honestly hope he got time off his sentence. I know “good behavior” is a thing and this shows an incredible amount of willpower, responsibility, and honesty
我真心希望他能够得到减刑。我知道“表现良好”是很重要的，这能够证明他拥有难以置信的意志力、责任感和诚实。
sbenzanzenwan
One volunteer had no computer experience. We showed her step by step how to do her job. She didn't know what a mouse was, how to click on something, etc. We got her up and running. She was pleased with herself, at having gotten the hang of using a PC.
我们有个志愿者一点也没用过电脑。我们一步一步地跟她讲了怎么做自己的工作。她甚至都不知道鼠标是什么，也不知道怎么点击某个东西。我们把她教会了。她还挺高兴，自己终于能用电脑了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
One volunteer had no computer experience. We showed her step by step how to do her job. She didn't know what a mouse was, how to click on something, etc. We got her up and running. She was pleased with herself, at having gotten the hang of using a PC.
我们有个志愿者一点也没用过电脑。我们一步一步地跟她讲了怎么做自己的工作。她甚至都不知道鼠标是什么，也不知道怎么点击某个东西。我们把她教会了。她还挺高兴，自己终于能用电脑了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Fast forward two hours. Come back to the office and she's in tears "I swear I didn't do anything! There were just fish everywhere all of a sudden!!" Look at the computer. Aquarium screen saver.
快进到两个小时之后，她跑到办公室里泪流满面，“我发誓我什么都没做！忽然一下子就到处都是鱼了！”看了一眼电脑。水族馆的屏保。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
快进到两个小时之后，她跑到办公室里泪流满面，“我发誓我什么都没做！忽然一下子就到处都是鱼了！”看了一眼电脑。水族馆的屏保。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
After her little breakdown, she had to take the rest of the afternoon off.
在她的小小崩溃之后，她不得不请了一下午假。
在她的小小崩溃之后，她不得不请了一下午假。
SamusMcFizz
My coworker at the bowling alley had to walk down a lane where a group of very young children (maybe 4-8 years old) were bowling to retrieve a ball that had stopped in the gutter about halfway down to the pins.
我同事在保龄球馆工作，他得走到球道里面给一群小孩子（大概四到八岁大吧）拿球，他们的球停在了球道中间。
My coworker at the bowling alley had to walk down a lane where a group of very young children (maybe 4-8 years old) were bowling to retrieve a ball that had stopped in the gutter about halfway down to the pins.
我同事在保龄球馆工作，他得走到球道里面给一群小孩子（大概四到八岁大吧）拿球，他们的球停在了球道中间。
When he had picked up the ball my other coworker told him to go walk it back down to the children. However this guy had it in his mind that it would be best to bowl it back down at the group of small children instead.
他捡起球之后，我另一个同事跟他说最好走回去把球递给他们。但是这兄弟觉得把球滚到那群孩子们面前更合适。
他捡起球之后，我另一个同事跟他说最好走回去把球递给他们。但是这兄弟觉得把球滚到那群孩子们面前更合适。
Luckily one of the adults with the children was a big muscular guy who was able to stop the ball and pick it up without anybody getting hurt.
幸运的是陪着孩子们的一个成年人是个肌肉男，他能把球停住然后捡起来，于是没有人受伤。
幸运的是陪着孩子们的一个成年人是个肌肉男，他能把球停住然后捡起来，于是没有人受伤。
The_AverageCanadian
This is the funniest response I've seen.
这是我见过的最搞笑的回复。
This is the funniest response I've seen.
这是我见过的最搞笑的回复。
Just bowling at small children.
拿小孩子打保龄球。
拿小孩子打保龄球。
nmotsch789
You say small children. I say larger pins.
你说那是小孩子。我说那是大球瓶。
You say small children. I say larger pins.
你说那是小孩子。我说那是大球瓶。
barto5
Annual sales meeting.
年度销售会议。
Annual sales meeting.
年度销售会议。
Brand new guy is seated next to the CEO. He proceeds to put his head down and fall asleep on the table. During the meeting.
刚上班的新人坐在CEO旁边。他把脑袋低下来，在会议桌上睡着了。在开会期间。
刚上班的新人坐在CEO旁边。他把脑袋低下来，在会议桌上睡着了。在开会期间。
They woke him up at lunch to fire him.
吃午饭的时候他们把他叫醒，然后把他开除了。
吃午饭的时候他们把他叫醒，然后把他开除了。
allthefishinthelake
Was making pizza. Guy broke the pizza board(the thing with the handle you make the pizza on and then slide the pizza into the oven) I found the other one and he lost that. So I told him to make pizzas on one of the plastic cutting boards. He put the pizza into the oven on the board and just left it. The board melted No more pizza that day
在烤披萨。有个兄弟把放披萨的板子弄坏了（就是那个带把手的板子，你在上面做披萨，然后把披萨滑进炉子里）。我的又找了一个，然后他把那个弄丢了。于是我跟他说你可以用塑料的砧板做披萨。他连着披萨带着砧板一起放到了炉子里。砧板化了，那天我们也不做披萨了。
Was making pizza. Guy broke the pizza board(the thing with the handle you make the pizza on and then slide the pizza into the oven) I found the other one and he lost that. So I told him to make pizzas on one of the plastic cutting boards. He put the pizza into the oven on the board and just left it. The board melted No more pizza that day
在烤披萨。有个兄弟把放披萨的板子弄坏了（就是那个带把手的板子，你在上面做披萨，然后把披萨滑进炉子里）。我的又找了一个，然后他把那个弄丢了。于是我跟他说你可以用塑料的砧板做披萨。他连着披萨带着砧板一起放到了炉子里。砧板化了，那天我们也不做披萨了。
Yo_mama_buys_A1JX52
How do you lose a pizza board? Those things aren't small.
怎么可能弄丢披萨板呢？那种东西又不小。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
How do you lose a pizza board? Those things aren't small.
怎么可能弄丢披萨板呢？那种东西又不小。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
LaughingVergil
With hard work and dedication, you can do anything.
只要你足够努力并且专心致志，你就什么都能做到。
With hard work and dedication, you can do anything.
只要你足够努力并且专心致志，你就什么都能做到。
GrapeSoda223
Maybe he just wanted the day off, I worked at a lumber mill that produced construction materials, some guy would throw shit like wrenches, screws, screwdriver, into the conveyor belt that lead to the giant wood chipper
或许他只是想请个假而已。我曾经在一个伐木厂工作，这个伐木场生产建筑材料。有个人会把扳手，螺丝，螺丝刀之类的东西扔到通向切木头的机器的传送带上。
Maybe he just wanted the day off, I worked at a lumber mill that produced construction materials, some guy would throw shit like wrenches, screws, screwdriver, into the conveyor belt that lead to the giant wood chipper
或许他只是想请个假而已。我曾经在一个伐木厂工作，这个伐木场生产建筑材料。有个人会把扳手，螺丝，螺丝刀之类的东西扔到通向切木头的机器的传送带上。
there's a magnetic sensor before the wood chipper, if it detected metal it stopped all the machines in the factory until the obxt was removed.
在机器前面是有个电磁感应器的，如果检测到了有金属的话，就会停止工厂里一切机器的运转，直到那个金属物体被拿走。
在机器前面是有个电磁感应器的，如果检测到了有金属的话，就会停止工厂里一切机器的运转，直到那个金属物体被拿走。
The guy would bypass this, by throwing a wrench past the sensor, and completely destroy the machinery
但是那个人会绕过这个感应器，直接把扳手扔到感应器后头。从而彻底的毁掉整个机器。
但是那个人会绕过这个感应器，直接把扳手扔到感应器后头。从而彻底的毁掉整个机器。
When he threw the wrench & screwdriver, we shutdown for a week, & we got paid for it, including the dude.
所以只要他往里面扔扳手和螺丝刀的时候，我们就会关停一周，带薪休假，包括那个兄弟。
所以只要他往里面扔扳手和螺丝刀的时候，我们就会关停一周，带薪休假，包括那个兄弟。
yes this happened multiple, first time it was believed too be one of the mechanics who left a tool behind, which does happen from time to time, so they all got an ass chewing
没错，这种事情发生了好几次，第一次我们都觉得可能是有个机械工不小心把工具落下了，因为这种事情总是时不时发生的，所以所有机械工都被骂了。
没错，这种事情发生了好几次，第一次我们都觉得可能是有个机械工不小心把工具落下了，因为这种事情总是时不时发生的，所以所有机械工都被骂了。
But eventually he was caught and they fired him
但最后他们还是把这个人抓到了，然后把他开除了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
但最后他们还是把这个人抓到了，然后把他开除了。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
remembering_things
I worked for a non-profit that hired a guy in fundraising purely “for his rolodex” and they couldn’t care less about any of his job functions as long as he kept bringing more rich people to fundraiser parties.
我曾经在一个非盈利的机构工作，他们雇了一个负责慈善募捐的人。他纯粹是为了“给自己的名片加点东西”来的，所以只要他能够一直邀请更多的有钱人来慈善募捐的晚会的话，别人就根本不会在意他到底是干什么的。
I worked for a non-profit that hired a guy in fundraising purely “for his rolodex” and they couldn’t care less about any of his job functions as long as he kept bringing more rich people to fundraiser parties.
我曾经在一个非盈利的机构工作，他们雇了一个负责慈善募捐的人。他纯粹是为了“给自己的名片加点东西”来的，所以只要他能够一直邀请更多的有钱人来慈善募捐的晚会的话，别人就根本不会在意他到底是干什么的。
Well when the pandemic hit and we were forced to go remote, it became clear how incompetent he was with technology, and how he’d been coasting for years in the office by sticking to phone calls instead of email, etc.
但是当疫情来临，我们必须要远程办公的时候，我们才发现他在使用科技产品方面有多么笨，以及他这几年来一直都只打电话，不发电子邮件，在办公室里摸鱼。
但是当疫情来临，我们必须要远程办公的时候，我们才发现他在使用科技产品方面有多么笨，以及他这几年来一直都只打电话，不发电子邮件，在办公室里摸鱼。
We had our first major online fundraiser coming up and I warned my boss that this dude had no idea how Zoom worked - never muted himself, camera up the nose, treated it like watching a YouTube video.
我们第一次大型线上募捐活动即将上线的时候，我对我的老板说，这兄弟根本不知道zoom该怎么用。他从来都不关麦，镜头对着鼻子，拿线上会议当看视频。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
我们第一次大型线上募捐活动即将上线的时候，我对我的老板说，这兄弟根本不知道zoom该怎么用。他从来都不关麦，镜头对着鼻子，拿线上会议当看视频。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
But again, he was the guy inviting all the rich people to the event, so they didn’t want to “lecture him about a computer program” and “hurt his ego”.
但是他又是那个把所有有钱人都邀请到晚会上的人，所以他们也不想“长篇大论地教他怎么用电脑程序”，“伤害他的自尊心”。
但是他又是那个把所有有钱人都邀请到晚会上的人，所以他们也不想“长篇大论地教他怎么用电脑程序”，“伤害他的自尊心”。
Then in our massive 200+ person zoom event, he set his laptop on the bathroom counter and proceeded to take a shirtless, nasty old man dump complete with grunting, splashing, and squelching. It was so loud it drowned out the speaker.
于是在我们超过两百多人同时在线的大型活动上，他把自己的笔记本电脑放在了厕所的一个角落里，然后光着膀子拉了一泡屎，还在一边哼哼一边往外挤，都能听见水花声。声音大得盖过了演讲者。
于是在我们超过两百多人同时在线的大型活动上，他把自己的笔记本电脑放在了厕所的一个角落里，然后光着膀子拉了一泡屎，还在一边哼哼一边往外挤，都能听见水花声。声音大得盖过了演讲者。
They had to end the event early because they had no way to mute him and it kept going for a full two minutes with no sign of stopping. I nearly threw my laptop out a window that night.
他们不得不提前停止这次活动，因为他们根本没办法关掉他的麦，并且他持续不断地拉了两分钟的屎。我那天晚上差点把笔记本电脑扔出去。
他们不得不提前停止这次活动，因为他们根本没办法关掉他的麦，并且他持续不断地拉了两分钟的屎。我那天晚上差点把笔记本电脑扔出去。
Firemage007
This was in school but it’s so incompetent I want to put it here. It’s a fairly recognizable story from my school I hope someone finds it.
这是学校里发生的事情，但是实在是太蠢了，所以我想要分享一下，这在我们学校算是一个很有名的故事，所以我希望有人能发现是哪个学校。
This was in school but it’s so incompetent I want to put it here. It’s a fairly recognizable story from my school I hope someone finds it.
这是学校里发生的事情，但是实在是太蠢了，所以我想要分享一下，这在我们学校算是一个很有名的故事，所以我希望有人能发现是哪个学校。
This kid tried to use the teachers computer to find the answers to our next test. He did it while she was teaching. Science class, so there was a separate room attached where she stored materials and her laptop. So he’s in the room and she’s lecturing to the class. Turns out the computer was connected to the projector display. We’re all watching on the projector, along with the teacher what this genius is doing. Man was in her directory folder typing in “test”
那个孩子想要在老师的电脑里找到下次考试的答案。他是在老师讲课的时候去找的，那是一节科学课。所以说在教室旁边另外有一间房间，是老师放材料和她的笔记本电脑的地方。那个电脑是跟教室里面的投影仪连起来的。我们都看着投影仪，老师也在看着投影仪，很好奇这个天才在干什么。那哥们儿在她的文件夹里打了“考试”两个字。
那个孩子想要在老师的电脑里找到下次考试的答案。他是在老师讲课的时候去找的，那是一节科学课。所以说在教室旁边另外有一间房间，是老师放材料和她的笔记本电脑的地方。那个电脑是跟教室里面的投影仪连起来的。我们都看着投影仪，老师也在看着投影仪，很好奇这个天才在干什么。那哥们儿在她的文件夹里打了“考试”两个字。
Independent_Wafer719
Putting all the patients false teeth in a bowl together to soak on a dementia ward. Took us weeks to try and match patient to teeth, no, they weren't marked up with the patients names . Doubt the right teeth ended up with the right patient, it was guess work.
在一家养老院里，把所有老人的假牙都放到了一个碗里泡着。我们花了好几个星期的时间才把假牙跟主人配上对儿。而且那些假牙上面也没有写着主人的名字。我怀疑最后他们戴的不一定是自己的牙，因为都是靠猜的。
Putting all the patients false teeth in a bowl together to soak on a dementia ward. Took us weeks to try and match patient to teeth, no, they weren't marked up with the patients names . Doubt the right teeth ended up with the right patient, it was guess work.
在一家养老院里，把所有老人的假牙都放到了一个碗里泡着。我们花了好几个星期的时间才把假牙跟主人配上对儿。而且那些假牙上面也没有写着主人的名字。我怀疑最后他们戴的不一定是自己的牙，因为都是靠猜的。
iBuildStuff___
I know I'm awful for laughing at this, but it reminds me of that time the pope ordered all the dicks to be cut off the statues in Rome, fast forward to a few centuries later and a bunch of art historians were running around Rome with a box of dicks trying to restore them.
我知道因为这个笑起来很没品，但他让我想起了以前有一任教皇要求罗马城内所有的雕像都不能有屌，快进到几个世纪之后，有一群艺术史学家们，拎着一箱子屌在罗马城里到处跑来跑去，想要复原这些雕塑。
I know I'm awful for laughing at this, but it reminds me of that time the pope ordered all the dicks to be cut off the statues in Rome, fast forward to a few centuries later and a bunch of art historians were running around Rome with a box of dicks trying to restore them.
我知道因为这个笑起来很没品，但他让我想起了以前有一任教皇要求罗马城内所有的雕像都不能有屌，快进到几个世纪之后，有一群艺术史学家们，拎着一箱子屌在罗马城里到处跑来跑去，想要复原这些雕塑。
ONSFishing
I don't know exactly the problem, but my wife and I had a house built, 3 months after our closing the company that installed the HVAC wanted to do a routine maintenance as part of the warranty.
我不知道具体是什么问题，但是我和老婆造了一栋房子，在完工之后三个月，那个安装了供暖和空调系统的公司想要过来做一下周期检查，这是他们售后服务的一部分。
I don't know exactly the problem, but my wife and I had a house built, 3 months after our closing the company that installed the HVAC wanted to do a routine maintenance as part of the warranty.
我不知道具体是什么问题，但是我和老婆造了一栋房子，在完工之后三个月，那个安装了供暖和空调系统的公司想要过来做一下周期检查，这是他们售后服务的一部分。
The guy came in and looked at the system setup in the attic and just "oh this is Jerry's work" in a very apologetic voice and scheduled someone to come out and redo 90% of the work .
那个检查的人走了进来，看了一眼阁楼里面的设置，然后用非常充满歉意的声音说了一句，“哦这是杰瑞干的”，然后立刻安排一个人过来，重新做了90%的工作。
那个检查的人走了进来，看了一眼阁楼里面的设置，然后用非常充满歉意的声音说了一句，“哦这是杰瑞干的”，然后立刻安排一个人过来，重新做了90%的工作。
I don't know what Jerry did, but it was apparently well known in that company to likely need to be redone.
我不知道杰瑞做了什么，但显然在他的公司里，他干的活都得让别人重干一遍，是一件常识。
我不知道杰瑞做了什么，但显然在他的公司里，他干的活都得让别人重干一遍，是一件常识。
Killpop582014
Dude was shooting up heroin in the bathroom and nodded out for an hour. When the boss finally found him he still had the needle in his arm. Fired immediately.
哥们儿在厕所里打海洛因，睡过去了一个小时。老板找到他的时候，他的胳膊上还插着针头呢。立刻解雇了。
Dude was shooting up heroin in the bathroom and nodded out for an hour. When the boss finally found him he still had the needle in his arm. Fired immediately.
哥们儿在厕所里打海洛因，睡过去了一个小时。老板找到他的时候，他的胳膊上还插着针头呢。立刻解雇了。
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