网帖翻译

Evan Poole
“Do you have kids?”
Nope!
“why not?”
I don’t like or need/want children (either having them naturally, legally adopting, or being a designated “stepdad”) in any way, shape, or form, is because….
I don’t want to deal with shitty/pissy diaper.
I like peace and quiet. I cannot stand ear piercing screaming and crying.
My money goes to the things that I need and want, and not to somebody else’s needs and wants. Children cost too fucking much!!!!!!
I walk very fast (and sometimes jog or run when I need to) because I like to get to where I need or want to go ASAP. So that means I wouldn’t be able to do that if I have to hold somebody by the hand and drag them behind me, and have to wait for them to keep up.

“你有孩子吗？”
没有！
为什么没有呢？
我不喜欢、不需要/不想要任何形式的孩子（无论是自然的、合法收养的，还是被指定为“继父”的），因为…。
我不想处理尿布。
我喜欢和平和安静。我无法忍受刺耳的尖叫和哭泣。
我的钱花在我需要和想要的东西上，而不是花在别人的需要和想要的东西上，孩子太他妈费钱了！
我走得很快（有时需要时慢跑或跑步），因为我喜欢尽快到达我需要去或想去的地方。所以，这意味着如果我必须抓住某人的手，把他们拖到身后，并等待他们跟上，我就无法做到这一点。

I like to sleep.
I don’t want to be bothered with trying to find a babysitter for when I want some me time.
I don’t want to have to be bothered about which school they have to go to.
I don’t want to have to be bothered about taking them to the doctor either for emergencies or simple check-ups.
I do not want to have to deal with him/her/them when they are smart-mouthed ass teenagers.
I have no patience for certain adults and some stupid ass things that they do, much, much, MUCH less for children.
I don’t want to hear constant non-stop chattering.
I don’t want to deal with child support payments .

我喜欢睡觉。
当我需要一些时间时，我不想为找保姆而烦恼。
我不想为他们必须上哪所学校而烦恼。
我不想为了紧急情况或简单的检查而陷入他们去看医生的麻烦事中。
我不想在他/她/他们是聪明的蠢货青少年时不得不与他们打交道。
我对某些成年人和他们做的一些愚蠢的事没有耐心，对孩子来说耐性就更少了。
我不想听到没完没了的唠叨。
我不想处理儿童抚养费。

If I ever suffer from a severe mental or physical illness, I do not want to be thrown into a nursing home. I’d rather die in my own home.
I absolutely, positively, and definitively have, under any circumstances, NO moral obligation to have children to anybody, not even my family, not to society, not even to my wife or to her family (yes, I told her from the get-go right when we started dating that I don’t like or want children).
Speaking of my wife, I do not want to make her go through 9 months of carrying a literal blood-sucking, nutrient consuming, embryonic parasite(s) that’s going to cause her unimaginable extreme pain during childbirth that could potentially kill her.
To me, there’s nothing special about having children, except for the fact that, from an evolutionary perspective, they keep the human species going. But then again, that’s exactly the case with every other species past, present, and future. Also, there’s 7.7 billion (and counting) hairless, bipedal apes on this planet already. I’m pretty sure Homo sapiens is not on the endangered species list, not yet at least. Even if that were the case, I still would not contribute to the human population.
Lastly (and this is ONLY MY OPINION not to be imposed on any parents out there), I see having and raising children as a waste of space, time, energy, money, and resources.

如果我患有严重的精神疾病或身体疾病，我不想被扔进养老院。我宁愿死在自己的家里。
在任何情况下，我绝对地、积极地、注定没有道德义务为任何人生孩子，即使是我的家人，也不为社会，甚至不为我的妻子或她的家人（是的，当我们开始约会时，我一开始就告诉她我不喜欢或不想要孩子）。
说到我的妻子，我不想让她在九个月的时间里带着吸血、消耗营养的胚胎，生孩子会在分娩时给她带来难以想象的极度痛苦，甚至有可能要了她的命。
对我来说，有孩子没什么特别的，除了从进化的角度来看，他们让人类继续生存。但话说回来，过去、现在和未来的所有其他物种都是如此。此外，这个星球上已经有77亿只（不计其数）无毛的两足猿。我很确定智人不在濒危物种名单上，至少现在还没有。即使是这样，我仍然不会为人类做出贡献。
最后(这只是我个人的观点，我不想强加给任何父母)，我认为养育孩子是对空间、时间、精力、金钱和资源的浪费。

McKayla Kennedy
Nope, no kids.
Why? I’m currently 25, I don’t have a partner or any interest in finding one, I have a large amount of debt and no house of my own, and I’m really in no rush.
I wouldn’t say I’m against giving birth to biological children. Pregnancy and delivery are going to suck regardless, but I’m told the presence of the baby makes it worth it. That’s not a dream of mine now— if someday it is, that’s a problem for future McKayla to deal with, the poor woman. Adoption and fostering are wonderful and I know many families, including my own, who have been blessed by it.
I don’t dislike children as a whole, either; they’re honestly pretty neat. All my friends’ kids are awesome and adorable and I love them. I’ve spent enough time with other people’s children (volunteering, nannying, and teaching) over the last decade or more of my life to be fairly aware of what’s involved in child-raising. Crying and poop and vomit don’t scare me.
All the child development classes I’ve taken have made me fascinated with how children interact with the world, and it’s so amazing to watch them make new discoveries and reach new stages. Coming up with new ways to enrich and entertain little munchkins is fun and fulfilling work to me.
Bottom line, I enjoy getting to meet kids, nurturing them, and watching them grow up. I just don’t need to them to be my own kids.

不，没有孩子。
为什么？我现在25岁，我没有配偶，也没有兴趣找，我有大量债务，没有自己的房子，我真的不急。
我不会说我反对生孩子。怀孕和分娩都会很难受，但我被告知婴儿的存在让这一切都值得。我现也不会考虑的——如果有一天想考虑这一切了，那就是未来的McKayla要处理的问题了，可怜的女人。收养和抚养孩子是件好事，我认识许多家庭，包括我自己的家庭，他们都受到了收养和抚养的祝福。
总的来说，我也不讨厌孩子；他们真的很令人愉快。我所有朋友的孩子都很棒，可爱，我爱他们。在过去的十年或更长的时间里，我花了足够的时间与他人的孩子们在一起（志愿服务、保姆和教学），以便对养育孩子的过程有充分的了解。哭泣、大便和呕吐都吓不倒我。
我参加的所有儿童发展课程都让我着迷于儿童如何与世界互动，看着他们做出新的发现，达到新的阶段，真是太令人惊讶了。想出新的方法来丰富和娱乐小家伙对我来说是有趣和充实的工作。
总之，我喜欢与孩子们见面，养育他们，看着他们长大。我只是不需要他们做我自己的孩子。

Santie Engelbrecht
Do you have any children?
I have 2 children, both girls, one is eight, and one is ten years old. Next week I will be getting a hysterectomy and of course that means it is the end of a season for me.
We could still adopt children if we wanted to. I also have spiritual children for whom I feel responsible. Dipuo who works for us feels like a daughter more than an employee.
Now that the operation is drawing closer, I am overwhelmed with gratitude over my loveliest children in the world, and my Mister Purrfect husbandy, and my awesome friends and family.

你有孩子吗？
我有两个孩子，都是女孩，一个八岁，一个十岁。下周我将做子宫切除术，当然这意味着我不能再孕育小孩了。
如果我们愿意的话，我们仍然可以收养孩子。我也有精神上的孩子，我觉得对他们有责任，那就是为我们工作的迪普（Dipuo ），与其说是员工，不如说是女儿。
现在手术越来越近了，我对世界上最可爱的孩子、我的完美老公、以及我了不起的朋友和家人感激不尽。

Elysia Rhiannon
Yes! I have a 8 month old son ?? I have always wanted to be a mother ever since I was a little girl. I had a baby doll called Faith and she went everywhere and I mean everywhere with me! I would take her to the shops, sit her in the shopping trolley and want to push her. I’d buy her real baby clothes and pretend to feed her real food. She slept next to me in my bed and she had her own pram! I always knew from even a 5 year old that I wanted to be a parent one day. My dream became a reality and I am a proud mother to my beautiful Benji ?? I want to give my son a baby sister or brother when the time is right ?? Being a mother is a blessing. My body made this cute tiny little sassy human!

对我有一个8个月大的儿子，从我还是个小女孩的时候起，我就一直想当妈妈。我有一个叫Faith的娃娃，她到处走，我是说和我一起到处走！我会带她去商店，让她坐在购物车里，想推她。我会给她买真正的婴儿衣服，假装喂她真正的食物。她睡在我旁边的床上，她有自己的婴儿车！我从5岁的时候就知道，我总有一天要为人父母。我的梦想变成了现实，我是我美丽的班吉（Benji）的骄傲的母亲。我想在合适的时候给我儿子生一个小妹妹或小弟弟，做母亲是一种祝福。我的身体造就了这个可爱又时髦的人类。

Casey Strait
Do you have kids?
Nope.
Happily childless and planning to stay that way forever, my husband cheerfully agrees with me 100% I plan to get sterilized as soon as I can afford it.
Unless you count “fur babies” a.k.a. pets. I plan to have a few pets when we get into a place that accepts them.

你有孩子吗？
没有。
我很高兴没有孩子，并打算永远这样下去，我的丈夫百分百且高兴地同意我的意见，我计划在我能负担得起的时候做绝育手术。
除非你把“毛茸宝宝”也叫做宠物。当我们进入一个接受宠物的地方时，我计划养几只宠物。

Elena Ledoux
What's your idea about having kids? Do you think we all should have kids?
A few days ago I got a pink piglet toy for my baby boy. He immediately adopted him, called him Wilbur. They ate together and slept together. Read books together.
This afternoon he was running around in panic looking for Wilbur. We couldn’t find him anywhere! Finally, he said: “I have a feeling he’s under the end table.” Then proceeds to extract the piglet.
“How did you know he was there?” I asked, surprised.
“I hid him there before I went to school. So no one steals him.”
I believe that kids bring an enormous amount of joy. But, you must be willing to run around in circles for 20 minutes looking for a stuffed animal stash. It’s not for everyone.

你对生孩子有什么想法？你认为我们都应该有孩子吗？
几天前，我给我的小男孩买了一个粉红色的小猪玩具。他立即收养了他，称他为威尔伯（ Wilbur）。他们一起吃，一起睡，一起读书。
今天下午，他惊慌失措地到处跑，寻找威尔伯。我们到处都找不到他！最后，他说：“我有一种感觉，他在桌子下面。”然后继续取出小猪。
“你怎么知道他在那里？”我惊讶地问道。
“我上学前把他藏在那里了。所以没有人偷他。”
我相信孩子们会带来巨大的快乐。但是，你必须愿意绕着圈子跑20分钟，寻找毛绒玩具的储藏点才行，这并不适合所有人。

Ratnamala Kamath
Why did you have kids?
After marriage I thought the natural progression was to have kids.
I mean, in those days we never thought much about these things, and felt that having kids after marriage was the natural thing to do since everyone did it.
And I loved kids. At least, I thought I did, until I had one of my own and realised what it entailed. Compared to today's hyperactive and over smart kids, my son was comparatively much more easier to handle. Though at that time I didn't think so.
You can divorce your husband if you both can't get along, but you can't divorce your children. Children are a life long responsibility.
And the worrying about children never goes away till your last breath.
So I had a kid because in those times majority couples had kids after marriage without planning or thinking too much about it.

你为什么要孩子？
结婚后，我认为自然的过程是生孩子。
我的意思是，在那些日子里，我们从来没有想过这些事情，而且觉得婚后生孩子是很自然的事，因为每个人都这样做。
我爱孩子。至少，我认为我做到了，直到我有了自己的孩子，并意识到这意味着什么。与今天多动症和过度聪明的孩子相比，我的儿子相对更容易应付，虽然当时我并不这么认为。
如果你们相处不好，你可以和你的丈夫离婚，但你不能和你的孩子离婚。孩子是一种终身责任。
对孩子的担忧直到最后一口气才消失。
所以我有了一个孩子，因为在那些时候，大多数夫妇婚后都没有计划或想太多就有了孩子。

Vincent Pisano
Do you plan to have children?
I did until I spent extra time with my niece and nephew, and now I am not so sure.
I always wanted kids, and I might still, but they lived with me for the first few years of their lives, and I know first hand everything that goes into caring for a child. The late nights, the sleepless nights, financially, emotionally, spending time with them, as well as teaching them valuable lessons they will be able to use as they grow.
I still want kids, but it won’t be until I have a steady foundation for the child to be raised in, if I can’t have that, then no, I won’t have kids

你打算生孩子吗？
我以前是这么想的，但是我花更多的时间和我的侄女和侄子在一起后的现在，我不那么确定了
我一直想要孩子，我可能仍然想要，但他们在生命的最初几年都和我住在一起，我对照顾孩子的一切都了如指掌。深夜，不眠之夜，经济上，情感上，花时间和他们在一起，以及教他们有价值的课程，以让他们可以在他们成长的过程中使用。
我仍然想要孩子，但除非我有一个稳定的基础来抚养孩子，否则我不会要孩子，如果我没有稳定的基础，那么不要，我就不会有孩子

Maddy B
Do you have kids or want any?
omgomgomgomgomg i want kids. of course, i don't have any because i’m 15 and i don’t plan on having any till i am married, but like, it seems so fun, even when they are annoying. the thought of like (i know this sounds weird) but like having kids and being a mother and like creating life is so like, i don’t know, comforting. like, it makes me feel like i’ve achieved my actual purpose as an organism lol…. of course i will wait, but i know what i want (obviously)
okay so for the people that care, i want like two kids (or three but not one) and dogs. lots and lots of dogs. well, not too many but probably like two or three:)))
i don't know why i know this but kids are so cute:)))))))))

你有孩子吗？还是想要孩子？
我想要孩子。当然，现在我没有，因为我15岁，而且我在结婚之前也不打算有，但是，这看起来很有趣，即使孩子很烦人。这种想法（我知道这听起来很奇怪），但像生孩子、做母亲和创造生活一样，我不知道，是多么令人安慰。就像它让我觉得我已经实现了作为一个有机体的实际使命。当然我会等，但我显然知道我想要什么。
好吧，对于关心我的人，我想要两个孩子（或者三个，但不是一个）和狗，很多很多的狗。嗯，也不要太多，但可能有两三只吧。
我不知道为什么我知道这一点，但孩子们确实很可爱：

Bryce Christensen
What do you think about having children?
Having children was my goal since I was about eleven. It started one day when my dad looked at me with great sincerity and said, “I love you. I am so glad you are my boy.”
He made me so happy I could have burst. Ever since, I wanted to be able to have children of my own so I could help them feel that way too.
Now that I have them, I try to keep that experience in mind. I try to tell them regularly how I am glad to have them in my family. How I want for them to be happy and to be prepared to be effective adults, empowered to achieve their dreams. How being their dad is the best job ever.
It is a lot of work at home sometimes and frankly, trying to build a career to provide for them hasn't been easy. But after a few decades of effort, it is really getting to be a lot of fun, as they are getting old enough to really understand what is going on around then and decide where they want to make a place for themselves in it. And it has a lot of perks along the way.

你对生孩子有什么看法
从十一岁起，生孩子就是我的目标。有一天，我爸爸真诚地看着我说：“我爱你。我很高兴你是我的儿子。”
他让我高兴极了。从那时起，我就想有自己的孩子，这样我就可以帮助他们也产生这样的感觉。
现在我有了孩子，我试着记住这段经历。我试着定期告诉他们我很高兴拥有他们。我多么希望他们快乐，准备成为有效率的成年人，有能力实现自己的梦想。如何做他们的爸爸是最好的工作。
坦白地说，有时在家里有很多工作要做，想要建立一个职业生涯来满足他们的需求并不容易。但经过几十年的努力，这真的变得很有趣，因为他们已经长大了，能够真正理解周围发生的事情，并决定他们想在其中为自己创造一个位置。而且在这个过程中还有很多额外的好处。

Tora Itachi
Why did you never have children?
They're too much responsibility.
People buy Baby chicks and rabbits for Easter, because it's “easterly". But then within a few days after Easter, they start complaining that they shit everywhere, because that's what Baby chicks and rabbits do. They also complain that they need to buy all this food and shit, so they end up getting rid of 'em.
Now with babies, it's much worse. With babies, you need to be mentally, physically, and financially ready. Babies are cute, yes. At the same time, they need a lot of attention, care, and a lot “get-ready-to-wake-up-at-2:00AMs”.
You need money for baby food, cribs, baby toys and much more.
At the same time, there can be risks for women giving birth. Some birth-givers die whilst in childbirth. Some need C-sections. My godmother needed one, because her Baby was growing rapidly.
But let's look what happens as your child gets older.

你为什么没有孩子?
生育孩子要担的责任太大了！
人们为复活节买小鸡和兔子，因为这是“伊索言”。但在复活节后的几天内，他们开始抱怨小动物们到处拉屎，因为小鸡和兔就是这样的。他们还抱怨为照顾它们需要买所有食物和解决相关破事，所以他们最终把它们赶走。
现在有了婴儿，情况更糟了。对于婴儿，你需要在心理、身体和经济上做好准备。婴儿很可爱。但与此同时，他们需要得到大量的关注、照顾和多次“凌晨2:00起床”。
你需要钱来买婴儿食品、婴儿床、婴儿玩具等等。
与此同时，女性分娩可能存在风险。一些分娩者在分娩时死亡。有些人需要剖腹产。我的干妈分娩时需要剖腹产，因为她的孩子长得很快。
但让我们看看随着孩子长大会发生什么。

Say your child's about 4. Guess what that means? Time for preschool!
Then when your child is getting older, that means more, homework, and when they get in Middle to High school, that means at shitton work, and difficult work to. Then you gotta help em with that shit, and that means you gotta put your brain to work. You gotta help 'em with Algebra, Chemistry, and all that shit.
Eventually, your child will become 18, and then finally. After all that hard work, your child can live by 'erself, right.
Er, your ass be wrong.
You gotta help 'em with college funds and shit and all that stuff.
And that's why I”ll never, EVER, have a child.

假设你的孩子大约4岁。猜猜这意味着什么？学前班时间到了！
然后，当你的孩子长大后，这意味着更多的家庭作业，当他们进入中学读高中时，这意味着要做大量的工作，并且要做一些困难的工作。然后，你要帮助他们解决这些问题，这就意味着你要把你的大脑投入到这些事中去。你必须帮助他们学习代数、化学和所有这些东西。
最终，你的孩子将年满18岁，然后是最后。经过这么多努力，你的孩子可以独立生活了，对吧。
呃，你错了。
你得帮他们弄点大学经费之类的。
这就是为什么我永远不会有孩子的原因。

Greg Holley
Do you love kids?
I’m predisposed to love kids for the same reason I’m predisposed to love drunks and psychotics: I have an appreciation for mayhem. I tend to root for the creature or human that creates disruption. Some examples:
I was once at a rather formal afternoon “tea” (I kid you not) where the inebriated, well-celebrated host unzipped his fly, retrieved his rather shopworn member, and proceeded to urinate in a fragile, bone China tea cup. My first thought was ‘thank Christ I’m here to see this...’
I was on a date at a pissy restaurant when a dramatic woman in flowing garb stood up, pointed an accusing finger at her fellow diners, and announced “you’re all fucking dead and you know it!”
I made the mistake of smiling.
“You” she boomed, matching my smile and dragging her finger my way “You’re not dead!” To my companion’s horror she pulled up a chair and had a little tête-à-tête.
“Look at them all, chewing and swallowing and mouthing inanities, what do you think they’re talking about? I’ll tell you what they’re talking about, their jobs, jobs, jobs! I’d rather be dead!”
Management was called, eventually police appeared, but it’s interesting to note that, except for his terrified face as Garb Woman joined our table, I barely remember my date at all. Garb woman however, was unforgettable.
A friend’s brother dragged us to some outpost of hell called ‘ye olde country time buffet’ . “Mountains of food, you’re gonna love it!”
Basically it was all one food dyed different colors and pressed into different textures. The dessert section was distinguished by sugar. Lime something or other glowed like excited plankton.

你爱孩子吗？
我喜欢孩子的原因和我喜欢醉汉和精神病患者的原因是一样的：我喜欢混乱。我倾向于支持那些制造混乱的生物或人类。一些示例：
有一次，我在一个相当正式的下午“茶会”上（我不骗你），这位喝醉了酒、大名鼎鼎的主人拉开拉链，拿出满是褶皱的鸡儿，然后在一个易碎的骨瓷茶杯里小便。我的第一个想法是“感谢上帝，我是来看这个的……”
我在一家臭尿一样的餐馆约会时，一个穿着飘逸服装的引人注目的女人站了起来，用指责的手指指着她的用餐同伴，宣布“你们都他妈死定了，你们知道的!”
我犯了笑的错误。
“你，”她低声说，配合着我的笑容，把手指朝我这边拖过来，“你没死!”令我同伴惊恐的是，她拉过一把椅子， 亲密地喝了一小杯。
“看看他们所有的人，咀嚼，吞咽，嘴里的废话，你认为他们在说什么?”我来告诉你他们在说什么，他们的工作，工作，全是工作!我宁愿去死!”
管理层接到电话，最终警察出现了，但有趣的是，除了那女人加入我们的餐桌时他那张惊恐的脸，我几乎不记得我的约会了。然而，那女人却令人难忘。
一个朋友的兄弟把我们拖到了一个叫“古老的乡村自助餐”。“堆成山的食物，你会喜欢的！”
基本上都是一种食物，被染上不同的颜色，压成不同的质地。甜点区以糖为特色。酸橙之类的东西像兴奋的浮游生物一样闪闪发光。

Then It began: softly at first, like a distant siren. Then escalation, then full tilt wail. A 6-year old boy was mounting an all out protest. Yes, oh yes, the relief I felt basking in that boy’s fit was akin to walking in the sun after a hard winter. ‘Let em have it’ I silently cheered and he did. The whole “restaurant” froze as the mortified parents did their best to calm him.
Little upends our mundane lives more consistently than kids. You don’t even have to have one to enjoy the benefits of their chronic challenge to the status quo. Wherever you go there’s bound to be a child having a seizure born out of of pure primal need, and if you tune in to their ear piercing wail of grief and want and sorrow you can hear the human condition being laid out in its essence.
My neighbors got pregnant, just had the baby. My first thought was, how does this effect ME? What about the noise from my power tools?,.
Then I met him. He had a smushed up face and tiny little hands, you know, a baby, I guess you’ve seen one before. His impossibly itty bitty fingers were kneading the air as if he had just discovered atmosphere. Some inner part of me came to immediate attention. I’m not even involved in this thing and I felt a welling of amazement and awe. Now I’m tip toeing around because I don’t want to upset THE AMAZING CREATURE. I’m craning in order to hear my music, I’m careful not to nail, saw, drill or bash too early or too late. I even caught myself stacking plates carefully.

然后它开始了:起初很轻，像远处的警报声。然后升级，然后嚎啕痛哭。一个6岁的小男孩正在全力抗议。是的，我在那个男孩的发作中感到的宽慰就像在一个严冬后在阳光下散步一样。”“让他们吃吧”，我默默地欢呼，他也这样做了。整个“餐厅”都僵住了，羞愧难当的父母想尽办法安抚他。
没有什么比孩子更能持续地颠覆我们平凡的生活。你甚至不需要有一个，就能享受到他们长期挑战现状的好处。无论你走到哪里，一定会有一个孩子因为纯粹的原始需求而癫痫发作，如果你倾听他们悲伤、渴望和悲伤的刺耳哀号，你就能听到人类状况的本质。
我邻居怀孕了，刚生了孩子。我的第一个想法是，这对我有什么影响?那我的电动工具发出的噪音还少吗？
然后我遇到了他。他的脸被压扁了，手很小，你知道，一个婴儿，我猜你以前见过。他那不可思议的小手指在空气中揉捏，好像他刚刚发现了大气。我内心的某个部分立刻引起了注意。我甚至没有参与到这件事中来，我感到一阵惊讶和敬畏。现在我小心翼翼，因为我不想让这个神奇的生物不高兴。我伸长脖子是为了听到我的音乐，我小心地不要太早或太晚钉、锯、钻或砸。我甚至发现自己在小心翼翼地叠盘子。

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