你偷听过的最离谱的事情是什么？
正文翻译
Whats the most fucked up thing you overheard in a conversation ?
你偷听过的最离谱的事是什么？
Whats the most fucked up thing you overheard in a conversation ?
你偷听过的最离谱的事是什么？
评论翻译
Shinado_Akimu
Worst one is probably on my first (and last) family vacation, overheard my father explaining to my cousin who was the same age as me (18, just fresh out of school) that my life is completely pointless because my older brother has already achieved all the goals a son should so there's no point in me at all.
最糟糕的很可能是我的第一次（也是最后一次）家庭度假，听见我父亲跟与我年纪一样大（18岁，刚高中毕业）的表亲聊起来，他说我的人生根本就毫无意义，因为我哥哥已经把一个儿子可以达成的一切成就都达成了，对我根本就没有什么好指望的了。
Worst one is probably on my first (and last) family vacation, overheard my father explaining to my cousin who was the same age as me (18, just fresh out of school) that my life is completely pointless because my older brother has already achieved all the goals a son should so there's no point in me at all.
最糟糕的很可能是我的第一次（也是最后一次）家庭度假，听见我父亲跟与我年纪一样大（18岁，刚高中毕业）的表亲聊起来，他说我的人生根本就毫无意义，因为我哥哥已经把一个儿子可以达成的一切成就都达成了，对我根本就没有什么好指望的了。
Pyles_Malfunction
My daughter was talking to a kid at a playground. She was showing him a scar she had on her leg from a bike wreck. He showed her a scar on his arm and said “I got cut with a knife and had to get stitches. It’s why I can’t see my mom anymore.” He was maybe five.
我女儿在游乐场上和一个男孩聊天。她在向男孩展示自己之前骑单车摔倒之后留下的伤疤。男孩给她看了自己胳膊上的疤，说“我之前被刀子划了，得缝针。也是因为这个，我再也见不到我妈妈了。”他看起来也就五岁。
My daughter was talking to a kid at a playground. She was showing him a scar she had on her leg from a bike wreck. He showed her a scar on his arm and said “I got cut with a knife and had to get stitches. It’s why I can’t see my mom anymore.” He was maybe five.
我女儿在游乐场上和一个男孩聊天。她在向男孩展示自己之前骑单车摔倒之后留下的伤疤。男孩给她看了自己胳膊上的疤，说“我之前被刀子划了，得缝针。也是因为这个，我再也见不到我妈妈了。”他看起来也就五岁。
Antmon666
Hopefully this is buried enough.
希望这件事能深深地埋在他的心底。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Hopefully this is buried enough.
希望这件事能深深地埋在他的心底。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I was told by a kid how he misses his dead mother soo much and his dad left him after but his new parents are great.
有个孩子曾经跟我说过他特别怀念自己过世的母亲，后来他父亲也离开了他，但他的新养父母很棒。
有个孩子曾经跟我说过他特别怀念自己过世的母亲，后来他父亲也离开了他，但他的新养父母很棒。
found out later his dad kill him mum in front of him and his brother, he was 5 when he told me, I hope he gets to live a great life and not have to deal with his dad
后来才知道，他父亲是当着他和他兄弟的面杀死了他妈妈。他跟我讲这件事的时候也就五岁。我希望他能好好地活一辈子，别再和他的生父惹上麻烦。
后来才知道，他父亲是当着他和他兄弟的面杀死了他妈妈。他跟我讲这件事的时候也就五岁。我希望他能好好地活一辈子，别再和他的生父惹上麻烦。
croccrazy98
That’s fucked.
这太恶心了。
That’s fucked.
这太恶心了。
Also, this isn’t even sort of buried.
而且，这根本就不算是埋在心底了。
而且，这根本就不算是埋在心底了。
Fyrrys
Laid on the ground with a leaf on it
留在地面上，上面盖了片树叶罢了。
Laid on the ground with a leaf on it
留在地面上，上面盖了片树叶罢了。
SEPTSLord
I was a manager at a resort in the mountains. It was the late 90's and we did not have telephones in the rooms and this was before everyone had cell phones.
我以前在山中的一个度假村当经理。那是上世纪90年代，我们房间里没有电话，而且这还是所有人都有手机之前的事。
I was a manager at a resort in the mountains. It was the late 90's and we did not have telephones in the rooms and this was before everyone had cell phones.
我以前在山中的一个度假村当经理。那是上世纪90年代，我们房间里没有电话，而且这还是所有人都有手机之前的事。
A young woman asked to use our office phone after hours. I listened to this poor woman tell her mother that her boyfriend just admitted to cheating on her and that he tested positive for AIDS. I felt so sorry for her.
有个年轻的女性说要在下班时间用一下我们办公室的电话。我听到这个可怜的女人对她妈妈说，她男朋友刚刚承认出轨了，并且他的艾滋病测试测出了阳性。我为她觉得特别难过。
有个年轻的女性说要在下班时间用一下我们办公室的电话。我听到这个可怜的女人对她妈妈说，她男朋友刚刚承认出轨了，并且他的艾滋病测试测出了阳性。我为她觉得特别难过。
cccantyousee
Stood behind a couple arguing loud. The man screams "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN DANGER, I ALMOST CALLED 911" to which she screamed "IM SO FUCKING SORRY FOR WANTING TO SEND YOU SOMETHING SEXY! THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!". Me and my friend had to contain our laughter.
站在一对高声争吵的夫妻后面。男的大喊“你他妈脑子里想什么呢？我以为你遇到麻烦了，我差点都打911了”，女的回答“我他妈真是不好意思啊，我以后再也不给你发点性感的图片了啊！”我跟我朋友都得用力憋笑。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Stood behind a couple arguing loud. The man screams "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE IN DANGER, I ALMOST CALLED 911" to which she screamed "IM SO FUCKING SORRY FOR WANTING TO SEND YOU SOMETHING SEXY! THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!". Me and my friend had to contain our laughter.
站在一对高声争吵的夫妻后面。男的大喊“你他妈脑子里想什么呢？我以为你遇到麻烦了，我差点都打911了”，女的回答“我他妈真是不好意思啊，我以后再也不给你发点性感的图片了啊！”我跟我朋友都得用力憋笑。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
state_of_what
Holy shit. What could be an indication of being in danger that someone else would think was sexy!?
我草。到底什么东西能让一个人觉得很性感，让另一个人觉得很危险？
Holy shit. What could be an indication of being in danger that someone else would think was sexy!?
我草。到底什么东西能让一个人觉得很性感，让另一个人觉得很危险？
himalayandorito
bondage usually
绷带吧，通常来说
bondage usually
绷带吧，通常来说
state_of_what
Aaah. That makes sense. But you should only bust that out when you know your partner well enough to know they’ll be into that. That poor guy.
啊啊啊。也说得通。但只有你非常了解你的伴侣，知道他喜欢这种的情况下才应该发那种照片。可怜的家伙。
Aaah. That makes sense. But you should only bust that out when you know your partner well enough to know they’ll be into that. That poor guy.
啊啊啊。也说得通。但只有你非常了解你的伴侣，知道他喜欢这种的情况下才应该发那种照片。可怜的家伙。
mahagarty
Restraints and he thought she was kidnapped? Just a guess haha
穿了束缚衣，结果被当成是被绑架了？只是随便猜猜哈哈哈
Restraints and he thought she was kidnapped? Just a guess haha
穿了束缚衣，结果被当成是被绑架了？只是随便猜猜哈哈哈
BartholomewBandy
Walking through a mall while in high school, a woman walking with her husband (I assumed), told him “what you’ve done is worse than mass murder”. I’ve thought about this for a long time.
上高中的时候在一个商场里走，一个女的陪她丈夫（我猜是丈夫）一起走，跟他说“你干的那事比大规模屠杀还严重。”后来我一直在想这句话。
Walking through a mall while in high school, a woman walking with her husband (I assumed), told him “what you’ve done is worse than mass murder”. I’ve thought about this for a long time.
上高中的时候在一个商场里走，一个女的陪她丈夫（我猜是丈夫）一起走，跟他说“你干的那事比大规模屠杀还严重。”后来我一直在想这句话。
146162145144
She was referring to the state of the bathroom after his shit that morning....
她其实说的是他那天早上拉完那泡屎之后洗手间的状况……
She was referring to the state of the bathroom after his shit that morning....
她其实说的是他那天早上拉完那泡屎之后洗手间的状况……
The_Lost_Octopus
That's something I would say in response to a ribald but well executed joke.
如果有人说了个下流段子，但讲述的技巧非常高超的话，那我也会用这句话来评论。
That's something I would say in response to a ribald but well executed joke.
如果有人说了个下流段子，但讲述的技巧非常高超的话，那我也会用这句话来评论。
vonkeswick
"I heard he has an 11" dick, but it always smells like cottage cheese." -two girls sitting in front of me in high school math class
“我听说他的屌有11英寸（译注：约合27.94厘米，我操）那么长，但闻起来总是有股乡村奶酪味。”——高中数学课上坐在我前面的两个女生
"I heard he has an 11" dick, but it always smells like cottage cheese." -two girls sitting in front of me in high school math class
“我听说他的屌有11英寸（译注：约合27.94厘米，我操）那么长，但闻起来总是有股乡村奶酪味。”——高中数学课上坐在我前面的两个女生
hittinlicks247
Went to a wedding which my roommate’s girlfriend also attended (without my roommate). She introduced her fiancé (a different man) to a group of people without realizing I was nearby.
去了一场婚礼，我室友的女朋友也去了（但没带我室友）。她不知道我就在附近，把自己的未婚夫（另一个人）介绍给了一群人。
Went to a wedding which my roommate’s girlfriend also attended (without my roommate). She introduced her fiancé (a different man) to a group of people without realizing I was nearby.
去了一场婚礼，我室友的女朋友也去了（但没带我室友）。她不知道我就在附近，把自己的未婚夫（另一个人）介绍给了一群人。
Iliketolearnfromppl
What did you do?
于是你做了什么？
What did you do?
于是你做了什么？
hittinlicks247
Contemplated it for a while. He wasn’t the best roommate. But then I decided to call him and tell him from the airport before I flew home because I hate cheaters.
想了一阵子。他其实不是最好的那个室友。但我还是决定给他打个电话，在我飞回家之前在机场跟他说了，因为我最痛恨出轨的人。
Contemplated it for a while. He wasn’t the best roommate. But then I decided to call him and tell him from the airport before I flew home because I hate cheaters.
想了一阵子。他其实不是最好的那个室友。但我还是决定给他打个电话，在我飞回家之前在机场跟他说了，因为我最痛恨出轨的人。
Kraymur
What was his response to this news?
他对这个消息的回应是？
What was his response to this news?
他对这个消息的回应是？
hittinlicks247
He’s a pretty stoic guy. He just basically said “Thanks for telling me.”
他这个人挺内敛的。差不多就说了句“谢谢你告诉我。”
He’s a pretty stoic guy. He just basically said “Thanks for telling me.”
他这个人挺内敛的。差不多就说了句“谢谢你告诉我。”
Apparently the fiancé worked with her and she had previously told my roommate that he was a “work husband” like on office joke because they are always hanging out.
显然她的那个未婚夫是她同事，她之前也跟我室友说过，这个未婚夫是“工作场合的老公”，就像办公室笑话一样，因为他们两个经常一起出门。
显然她的那个未婚夫是她同事，她之前也跟我室友说过，这个未婚夫是“工作场合的老公”，就像办公室笑话一样，因为他们两个经常一起出门。
Strange thing is this dude (my roommate) was a complete Chad. Like he had everything going for him. And had slept with over 70 women. And she wasn’t really anything crazy special tbh.
怪就怪在这哥们（我室友）其实是个标准的人赢。就基本上一切都在顺着他想要的去做。他睡过七十多个女的。而且他那个女朋友其实说实话也没什么特别的。
怪就怪在这哥们（我室友）其实是个标准的人赢。就基本上一切都在顺着他想要的去做。他睡过七十多个女的。而且他那个女朋友其实说实话也没什么特别的。
I think he reached the point where he was looking for a wife to settle down with and ended up picking her. But she turned out to be a complete hoe and was fucking him on the side because the sex was better.
我觉得他可能是到了想找一个老婆安稳下来的阶段，所以选了她。但结果她反倒是个婊子，跟他上床只是因为很爽。
我觉得他可能是到了想找一个老婆安稳下来的阶段，所以选了她。但结果她反倒是个婊子，跟他上床只是因为很爽。
zepolen
He knew already, it's the fiance that doesn't.
他早就知道了，不知道的是那个未婚夫。
He knew already, it's the fiance that doesn't.
他早就知道了，不知道的是那个未婚夫。
Minute_Ask_9681
Remember bros, the gym will never wake up and say it doesnt love you anymore
记住兄弟们，健身房永远不会早上起来忽然对你说它再也不爱你了。
Remember bros, the gym will never wake up and say it doesnt love you anymore
记住兄弟们，健身房永远不会早上起来忽然对你说它再也不爱你了。
Von_Moistus
But mine wants money before it’ll let me inside of it, the little whore.
但我家那个总是先管我要钱再让我进去，小婊子。
But mine wants money before it’ll let me inside of it, the little whore.
但我家那个总是先管我要钱再让我进去，小婊子。
Selloutsoul94
“That’s so stupid, how does someone drown underwater?”
“那也太傻逼了，谁会在水里淹死啊？”
“That’s so stupid, how does someone drown underwater?”
“那也太傻逼了，谁会在水里淹死啊？”
63221
Guy was a fish undercover
哥们是条便衣的鱼。
Guy was a fish undercover
哥们是条便衣的鱼。
Fine-Funny6956
Not exactly overheard… but I was trying to sleep on my brothers couch and his parrot, who usually did cute things like whistle the Simpsons theme, suddenly said - in my brothers voice - “Stupid bird. Shit all over the place.”
倒不算是偷听……我在我哥的沙发上想睡一觉，旁边是他养的鹦鹉，他通常都会做一些可爱的事，比如唱辛普森一家的主题曲之类的，但突然用我哥的声音来了一句：“傻鸟。拉得满哪都是。”
Not exactly overheard… but I was trying to sleep on my brothers couch and his parrot, who usually did cute things like whistle the Simpsons theme, suddenly said - in my brothers voice - “Stupid bird. Shit all over the place.”
倒不算是偷听……我在我哥的沙发上想睡一觉，旁边是他养的鹦鹉，他通常都会做一些可爱的事，比如唱辛普森一家的主题曲之类的，但突然用我哥的声音来了一句：“傻鸟。拉得满哪都是。”
I shot upright and the bird and I locked eyes. Until now it was our little secret.
我一下子坐了起来，跟那只鸟对上眼了。直到现在为止，还只有我跟它知道。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
我一下子坐了起来，跟那只鸟对上眼了。直到现在为止，还只有我跟它知道。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
captaincavalrycam
I work at a restaurant, and one time I was bringing the food out to this table of 4 women, all approximately in their 50s-60s, just in time to hear one say to the others “so I decided to go with an assplay theme”
我在一家餐厅工作，有一次我正把餐点带到一张四个女人的餐桌上，那四个女人都差不多五六十岁，我走到地方的时候刚好听见一个对其他人说，“然后我就决定让他走后门”
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
I work at a restaurant, and one time I was bringing the food out to this table of 4 women, all approximately in their 50s-60s, just in time to hear one say to the others “so I decided to go with an assplay theme”
我在一家餐厅工作，有一次我正把餐点带到一张四个女人的餐桌上，那四个女人都差不多五六十岁，我走到地方的时候刚好听见一个对其他人说，“然后我就决定让他走后门”
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
carcinoma_kid
Overheard with no context at the bar: ‘the snake blood was ok, it just tasted like human blood.’
在酒吧听见了一句没有上下文的话：“蛇血还行，只不过尝起来像人血。”
Overheard with no context at the bar: ‘the snake blood was ok, it just tasted like human blood.’
在酒吧听见了一句没有上下文的话：“蛇血还行，只不过尝起来像人血。”
ThatNinjaPorcupine
Obviously, you overheard vampires talking.
你很显然是偷听到吸血鬼在聊天了。
Obviously, you overheard vampires talking.
你很显然是偷听到吸血鬼在聊天了。
BlitheringEediot
From a friend's brother-in-law in court : "Your Honor, I was just FUCKING her (13-year old stepdaughter), I wasn't HURTING her."
我一个朋友的小舅子在法庭上的发言：“法官大人，我只是在操她（13岁的继女），我没有伤害她。”
From a friend's brother-in-law in court : "Your Honor, I was just FUCKING her (13-year old stepdaughter), I wasn't HURTING her."
我一个朋友的小舅子在法庭上的发言：“法官大人，我只是在操她（13岁的继女），我没有伤害她。”
He went to prison for a long LONG time.
他进监狱里待了很长很长时间。
他进监狱里待了很长很长时间。
Lawsoffire
If he had a lawyer, he probably got a skull fracture from his own facepalm.
如果他请了个律师的话，那个律师可能要捂脸捂到头骨骨折了。
If he had a lawyer, he probably got a skull fracture from his own facepalm.
如果他请了个律师的话，那个律师可能要捂脸捂到头骨骨折了。
At least the sick fuck was a moron.
至少这疯子确实脑子有问题。
至少这疯子确实脑子有问题。
Bokbok95
No amount of Your Honor is gonna let that slide lol
说多少句法官大人也不可能给你改判哈哈哈哈
No amount of Your Honor is gonna let that slide lol
说多少句法官大人也不可能给你改判哈哈哈哈
SuvenPan
"Tell me, if earth is spinning why my front door is always facing east"
“我就问你，如果地球在自转，为什么我家正门永远是朝东的”
"Tell me, if earth is spinning why my front door is always facing east"
“我就问你，如果地球在自转，为什么我家正门永远是朝东的”
alightfeather
A lady thought she was an experiment created in the Mayo Clinic lab. She said she had no parents and was the first of her kind. The entire conversation was completely bizarre. She absolutely needed some mental help.
一位女士觉得自己是梅奥医学中心实验室的一场实验的产物。她说自己没有父母，自己是同类中的第一个。整段对话都诡谲得要命。她肯定需要一些心理辅导。
A lady thought she was an experiment created in the Mayo Clinic lab. She said she had no parents and was the first of her kind. The entire conversation was completely bizarre. She absolutely needed some mental help.
一位女士觉得自己是梅奥医学中心实验室的一场实验的产物。她说自己没有父母，自己是同类中的第一个。整段对话都诡谲得要命。她肯定需要一些心理辅导。
nindell
Did she have a belly button ?
她有没有肚脐眼儿？
Did she have a belly button ?
她有没有肚脐眼儿？
sao_joao_castanho
I drove for Uber. Two lawyers talking about how corrupt our judicial system is.
我开Uber。两个律师聊我们的司法部门有多腐败。
I drove for Uber. Two lawyers talking about how corrupt our judicial system is.
我开Uber。两个律师聊我们的司法部门有多腐败。
kmn493
Don't need lawyers to tell you that.
用不着律师告诉你这一点。
Don't need lawyers to tell you that.
用不着律师告诉你这一点。
lamingknifepenis
Man, I drove Lyft for a summer and it was amazing some of the things people would tell me. People have always seemed to open up to me in weird ways, but in the course of about three months, I:
兄弟，我曾经开了一夏天的Lyft（译注：和Uber，滴滴类似的专车平台），某些人愿意告诉我的事情太让人震惊了。人们好像总是会用很诡异的方式对我敞开心扉，在大约三个月的时间里，我：
Man, I drove Lyft for a summer and it was amazing some of the things people would tell me. People have always seemed to open up to me in weird ways, but in the course of about three months, I:
兄弟，我曾经开了一夏天的Lyft（译注：和Uber，滴滴类似的专车平台），某些人愿意告诉我的事情太让人震惊了。人们好像总是会用很诡异的方式对我敞开心扉，在大约三个月的时间里，我：
Had two people (that I know of) break pretty serious NDAs because they desperately wanted to be able to tell someone what they were working on. One was on his way to be on a pretty big reality show, and even outlined how insane the NDA they had him sigh was. The other worked in a big PR firm, and told me a bunch of stuff that was pretty damning about a client they were working with.
让两个（我认识的）人打破了非常严肃的保密协议，因为他们真的很想找个人聊聊自己在干什么。其中一位马上就要去一个特别火的真人秀上节目，甚至跟我大致聊了他们逼他签的那个保密协议有多离谱。另一个在大型公关企业工作，跟我说了关于他们合作的一位客户做过的不少人神共愤的事儿。
让两个（我认识的）人打破了非常严肃的保密协议，因为他们真的很想找个人聊聊自己在干什么。其中一位马上就要去一个特别火的真人秀上节目，甚至跟我大致聊了他们逼他签的那个保密协议有多离谱。另一个在大型公关企业工作，跟我说了关于他们合作的一位客户做过的不少人神共愤的事儿。
Gave a ride to an architect and an engineer who were talking in depth about a new construction project that was facing some pretty serious structural issues, but half of the people involved were just saying “Ehhh …” and trying to cover it up.
载过一位建筑师和一位工程师，两个人在很深入地聊一个新工程项目，项目面临非常严重的结构性问题，但与之相关的一半人员都只是一边“呃……”一边想着瞒过去。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
载过一位建筑师和一位工程师，两个人在很深入地聊一个新工程项目，项目面临非常严重的结构性问题，但与之相关的一半人员都只是一边“呃……”一边想着瞒过去。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Heard so fucking much outright racism. Like, good old fashioned 1950s racism that I forget exists in real life. Always from European tourists. Heard some pretty gross generalizations from rich white Americans, but nothing like the shit I heard come out of the mouths of young-ish and ostensibly otherwise progressive Europeans.
听见的直白的种族歧视简直太他吗多了。就像那种上世纪50年代才存在的种族主义，我几乎要忘记这种想法在现实中的存在了。永远是来自欧洲的旅客。听过对美国白人有钱人的一些很恶心的刻板印象，但全都比不上那些挺年轻的，其他方面都挺进步的欧洲人嘴里说出来的话。
听见的直白的种族歧视简直太他吗多了。就像那种上世纪50年代才存在的种族主义，我几乎要忘记这种想法在现实中的存在了。永远是来自欧洲的旅客。听过对美国白人有钱人的一些很恶心的刻板印象，但全都比不上那些挺年轻的，其他方面都挺进步的欧洲人嘴里说出来的话。
Heard countless local public officials spill the beans on what a mismanaged shitshow it is and how they have no faith in the government they work for.
听见过不尽其数的本地官员泄露秘密，说现在的社会是多烂的一个烂摊子，说他们对自己所服务的政府没有任何信心。
听见过不尽其数的本地官员泄露秘密，说现在的社会是多烂的一个烂摊子，说他们对自己所服务的政府没有任何信心。
captaincumragx
Not me personally, but my mom once told me she overheard her ex husband and his friends discussing disposing of a dead body and talking about knocking the teeth out to prevent them being identified through dental records.
不是我自己，但我妈妈曾经跟我说她偷听到她的前夫和他朋友研究怎么处置死尸，怎么把尸体的牙齿都敲下来，防止通过牙医记录认出来。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Not me personally, but my mom once told me she overheard her ex husband and his friends discussing disposing of a dead body and talking about knocking the teeth out to prevent them being identified through dental records.
不是我自己，但我妈妈曾经跟我说她偷听到她的前夫和他朋友研究怎么处置死尸，怎么把尸体的牙齿都敲下来，防止通过牙医记录认出来。
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
He was pretty abusive so she didn't ever confront him about it, I guess this was back in the early 80s?
他挺喜欢家暴的，所以她没问过这事，我猜这可能是80年代早期的事？
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
他挺喜欢家暴的，所以她没问过这事，我猜这可能是80年代早期的事？
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
Milo_Minderbinding
In college at a dorm, I was playing pool with my roommate. We were in the main lobby and later another guy from another floor came down with a buddy and sat down to watch us play and reserve the table so they could play the next game. The guy was talking to his buddy about how the cops interviewing him because he had sex with a passed out drunk girl in her dorm room. She woke up in the middle of it and started freaking out. My roommate and I acted like we couldn't hear him, but we kept exchanging glances when he kept talking and talking about how he raped a girl. The guy was acting like it wasn't a big deal and she was blowing it out of proportion and he was the true victim. The guy then starts to buddy up to us, we kind of coldly blew him off, finished our game, and GTFO.
大学宿舍，我跟舍友打台球。我们在一楼大厅里，另一层楼的另一个人跟他哥们下来了，坐在旁边看我们打了一会儿，然后预订了这张球桌，下一把他们自己打。那人一直在跟哥们聊警察是怎么审讯他的，因为他跟一个喝酒喝晕过去的女孩在女孩自己的房间里做了爱。做到一半女孩醒了，开始惊慌失措。我和我室友装作听不见他说的话，但一直在他不断讲自己强奸一个女孩的经历时互相交流眼神。那人搞得就好像不是什么大事一样，好像反倒是女孩反应过激了，他自己才是真正的受害者。然后那男的开始跟我们两个套近乎，我们冷漠地拒绝了，把自己这盘打完，然后赶紧溜了。
In college at a dorm, I was playing pool with my roommate. We were in the main lobby and later another guy from another floor came down with a buddy and sat down to watch us play and reserve the table so they could play the next game. The guy was talking to his buddy about how the cops interviewing him because he had sex with a passed out drunk girl in her dorm room. She woke up in the middle of it and started freaking out. My roommate and I acted like we couldn't hear him, but we kept exchanging glances when he kept talking and talking about how he raped a girl. The guy was acting like it wasn't a big deal and she was blowing it out of proportion and he was the true victim. The guy then starts to buddy up to us, we kind of coldly blew him off, finished our game, and GTFO.
大学宿舍，我跟舍友打台球。我们在一楼大厅里，另一层楼的另一个人跟他哥们下来了，坐在旁边看我们打了一会儿，然后预订了这张球桌，下一把他们自己打。那人一直在跟哥们聊警察是怎么审讯他的，因为他跟一个喝酒喝晕过去的女孩在女孩自己的房间里做了爱。做到一半女孩醒了，开始惊慌失措。我和我室友装作听不见他说的话，但一直在他不断讲自己强奸一个女孩的经历时互相交流眼神。那人搞得就好像不是什么大事一样，好像反倒是女孩反应过激了，他自己才是真正的受害者。然后那男的开始跟我们两个套近乎，我们冷漠地拒绝了，把自己这盘打完，然后赶紧溜了。
A week later I opened the newspaper and sure enough, he'd been charged for rape. This was 25 years ago. Kind of chilling. Never found out if he was found guilty or not but the dude legitimately did not think he did anything wrong.
一星期之后我打开报纸一看，果然他被控告强奸了。那已经是25年前了。挺可怕的。到后来也不知道他到底是有罪无罪，但那哥们真的觉得自己什么都没做错。
一星期之后我打开报纸一看，果然他被控告强奸了。那已经是25年前了。挺可怕的。到后来也不知道他到底是有罪无罪，但那哥们真的觉得自己什么都没做错。
fourangers
Me and my friend were just using an elevator when one of my neighbors, an elderly woman, joined us. We tried some small talk with her until she dumped the info that despite doing everything in the house, no one wanted her and her daughter was looking some asylums to throw her in.
我和我朋友在坐电梯，我的一位邻居，一位年长的女性，也进了轿厢。我们跟她闲聊了几句，然后她突然跟我们说，尽管她在家里大小杂务都干，但还是没人想留她，她女儿正在找个养老院打算把她送进去。
Me and my friend were just using an elevator when one of my neighbors, an elderly woman, joined us. We tried some small talk with her until she dumped the info that despite doing everything in the house, no one wanted her and her daughter was looking some asylums to throw her in.
我和我朋友在坐电梯，我的一位邻居，一位年长的女性，也进了轿厢。我们跟她闲聊了几句，然后她突然跟我们说，尽管她在家里大小杂务都干，但还是没人想留她，她女儿正在找个养老院打算把她送进去。
Cue to awkward silence.
一下就陷入了尴尬的安静。
一下就陷入了尴尬的安静。
(No, she stayed with her daughter till the end of her life despite all)
（不，尽管如此她还是待在了她女儿身边，直到她去世。）
（不，尽管如此她还是待在了她女儿身边，直到她去世。）
Starlin_Q
I overlooked someone breaking up their marriage of 15 years over Whatsapp. It was surreal. I could see the guy's messages coming in and he was going crazy.
我不慎目睹了一个人在Whatsapp上结束了自己15年的婚姻。太不真实了。我可以看见男人发来的信息，看见他慢慢变疯。
I overlooked someone breaking up their marriage of 15 years over Whatsapp. It was surreal. I could see the guy's messages coming in and he was going crazy.
我不慎目睹了一个人在Whatsapp上结束了自己15年的婚姻。太不真实了。我可以看见男人发来的信息，看见他慢慢变疯。
edit:
编辑：
编辑：
This was years ago when I was on vacation in America. I was in a bus and I just happened to glance at a 35-ish looking woman's phone. I was standing and she was sitting with her back to ke so she couldn't see me.
那是好几年前的事了，我当时在美国度假。我在公交车上，碰巧看见了一个35岁左右女性的手机屏幕，我当时站着，她背靠我坐着，所以她看不见我。
那是好几年前的事了，我当时在美国度假。我在公交车上，碰巧看见了一个35岁左右女性的手机屏幕，我当时站着，她背靠我坐着，所以她看不见我。
She just typed this whole big message about how she thought it was best that they weren't gonna see eachother and that she was gonna leave him, she didn't give any reason why. I was guessed it was just some fling. She was being weirdly casual about it.
她发了个小作文，说自己觉得最好两个人还是不要再见面比较好，她要离开他了，但她没有说任何原因。我觉得可能就是外面有新欢了。她对这件事的态度轻松得让人感觉奇怪。
她发了个小作文，说自己觉得最好两个人还是不要再见面比较好，她要离开他了，但她没有说任何原因。我觉得可能就是外面有新欢了。她对这件事的态度轻松得让人感觉奇怪。
The guy replied instantly and seemed very surprised and upset. He was asking her questions why she would do this, while she barely answered. She just said stuff like "We had a nice time together, I'm sure you'll meet someone nice", while not actually responding to anything the guy was asking.
男的立刻回复了，语气非常惊讶愤怒。他一直在问她问题，为什么要这么做，她基本没回答。她光在那里说“我们度过了一段很好的时光，我相信你能遇到个好人”，但没有回应那个男的所问的任何问题。
男的立刻回复了，语气非常惊讶愤怒。他一直在问她问题，为什么要这么做，她基本没回答。她光在那里说“我们度过了一段很好的时光，我相信你能遇到个好人”，但没有回应那个男的所问的任何问题。
The guy was saying shit like "How could you leave me after 15 years of marriage?", "There was another guy, wasn't there?". He basically kept repeating those two things for a while but he wasn't getting through to her, she just kept saying shit like "I'm sorry it didn't work out, I still love you though" not responding to his actual words.
那个男的于是开始说“你怎么能在15年的婚姻之后离开我？”“你在外面有男人了，是不是？”之类的。他基本上有好一阵子就在重复这两句话，但她听不进去。她的回复基本也就只是“很抱歉我们没有结果，但我仍然爱你”之类的废话，但一直也没有回应他说的话。
那个男的于是开始说“你怎么能在15年的婚姻之后离开我？”“你在外面有男人了，是不是？”之类的。他基本上有好一阵子就在重复这两句话，但她听不进去。她的回复基本也就只是“很抱歉我们没有结果，但我仍然爱你”之类的废话，但一直也没有回应他说的话。
It was like seeing an AI talk to a very distressed man. I don't know why she was being so casual and why she wasnt engaging with the guy's messages at all. I don't know why they were doing this over Whatsapp. This whole time this lady didn't make a single noise or movement, she seemed totally emotionless.
看起来就像是见证了一个AI在和一个非常痛苦的男人交谈。我不知道她为什么对这件事如此轻松，她为什么完全没有主动回复男人的信息。我不知道他们为什么要用whatsapp解决这件事。从头到尾这位女士都没有发出过一点声音，做过一点动作。她看起来完全没有任何情感。
看起来就像是见证了一个AI在和一个非常痛苦的男人交谈。我不知道她为什么对这件事如此轻松，她为什么完全没有主动回复男人的信息。我不知道他们为什么要用whatsapp解决这件事。从头到尾这位女士都没有发出过一点声音，做过一点动作。她看起来完全没有任何情感。
Eventually I had to get off the bus, so I don't know what happened with them. I thought maybe I was being pranked or they were just fucking around. It was a very weird experience.
我到头来不得不下车，所以我也不知道最后他们发生了什么。我觉得可能我被演了，或者他们在自己闹着玩。这个经历真的非常诡异。
我到头来不得不下车，所以我也不知道最后他们发生了什么。我觉得可能我被演了，或者他们在自己闹着玩。这个经历真的非常诡异。
LooksLikeTreble617
Last night heard a girl say to a guy (who she just met that night) - “Have YOU ever been accused of rape? I’ve been accused of rape”
昨晚听见一个女孩对一个男孩（她那天晚上刚认识的）说——“你被起诉过强奸吗？我被起诉过强奸。”
Last night heard a girl say to a guy (who she just met that night) - “Have YOU ever been accused of rape? I’ve been accused of rape”
昨晚听见一个女孩对一个男孩（她那天晚上刚认识的）说——“你被起诉过强奸吗？我被起诉过强奸。”
ITendToOffend_
"if she kills herself I'll be so happy" from what I could gather this group of girls were talking about someone they went to school with.
“她要是自杀的话我可太开心了”据我推测应该是一群女生在聊一个同学。
"if she kills herself I'll be so happy" from what I could gather this group of girls were talking about someone they went to school with.
“她要是自杀的话我可太开心了”据我推测应该是一群女生在聊一个同学。
hammertime2009
When I used to bartend I overheard a few regulars (rich guys finance guys) whom I knew fairly well, talk about their yearly “fishing trip” in the Bahamas. They rent a yacht and don’t bring their wives. I’m not sure how much fishing is actually happening because the kept describing the South American prostitutes that come on board for a couple of the days. They each get their own and it’s apparently a tax write off too because it’s a business trip. Felt super weird because I know their wives and serve them occasionally too.
以前当调酒师的时候，会听见几个跟我很熟的常客（干金融的有钱人），聊他们今年去巴哈马群岛的“钓鱼旅行”。他们会租一艘游艇，但不带老婆。我不知道他们到底钓了几条鱼，因为他们一直在聊那些上船待了好几天的南美妓女。他们各自领了一个，并且开销显然也都报销了，毕竟是公务旅行。感觉非常诡异，因为我也认识他们的老婆，偶尔也会给她们调酒。
When I used to bartend I overheard a few regulars (rich guys finance guys) whom I knew fairly well, talk about their yearly “fishing trip” in the Bahamas. They rent a yacht and don’t bring their wives. I’m not sure how much fishing is actually happening because the kept describing the South American prostitutes that come on board for a couple of the days. They each get their own and it’s apparently a tax write off too because it’s a business trip. Felt super weird because I know their wives and serve them occasionally too.
以前当调酒师的时候，会听见几个跟我很熟的常客（干金融的有钱人），聊他们今年去巴哈马群岛的“钓鱼旅行”。他们会租一艘游艇，但不带老婆。我不知道他们到底钓了几条鱼，因为他们一直在聊那些上船待了好几天的南美妓女。他们各自领了一个，并且开销显然也都报销了，毕竟是公务旅行。感觉非常诡异，因为我也认识他们的老婆，偶尔也会给她们调酒。
WonderWillis
Using my throwaway for this for obvious reasons. The most honest, caring, and loyal roommate I ever had told me one night, while drunk, the story of his abusive father killing his mom. The night this conversation happened the guy was sitting at our dining room table cleaning his his hunting rifle. His dad was released from prison on a Tuesday, on Thursday he was shot dead on his parents lawn. Roommate showed up on Friday, just said "i've been here all week" and went on with his life.
出于显然的原因，用一次性账号。我最真诚，最关心他人，最忠诚的室友，有一天晚上喝醉之后，跟我讲了他家暴的父亲杀死了母亲的故事。那天晚上这段对话发生的时候，哥们正坐在我们的餐桌旁，擦拭着他的猎枪。他父亲周二从监狱里放出来，周四在他父母家的草坪上中枪身亡。我室友周五回来，说了句“我一整个星期都在这”，照旧过着他的生活。
Using my throwaway for this for obvious reasons. The most honest, caring, and loyal roommate I ever had told me one night, while drunk, the story of his abusive father killing his mom. The night this conversation happened the guy was sitting at our dining room table cleaning his his hunting rifle. His dad was released from prison on a Tuesday, on Thursday he was shot dead on his parents lawn. Roommate showed up on Friday, just said "i've been here all week" and went on with his life.
出于显然的原因，用一次性账号。我最真诚，最关心他人，最忠诚的室友，有一天晚上喝醉之后，跟我讲了他家暴的父亲杀死了母亲的故事。那天晚上这段对话发生的时候，哥们正坐在我们的餐桌旁，擦拭着他的猎枪。他父亲周二从监狱里放出来，周四在他父母家的草坪上中枪身亡。我室友周五回来，说了句“我一整个星期都在这”，照旧过着他的生活。
Possible-Delay
I was sitting in my car with the window down waiting for my partner. This couple arguing pulled into be park next to me. They were arguing and she something along the lines of “ohh fuck sake Josh, I didn’t say you couldn’t stick it in my ass, I said just give me a little warning”. He just mumbled something and went into the bakery while she waited in the car. They never saw or noticed I was there.
我开着窗坐在车里等我伴侣。有一对夫妻一边吵架一边停到了我的车旁边。他们吵的内容包括“我真是操了，乔什，我没说不让你干我后门，我说你至少得先跟我说一声。”男的咕哝了几句就进面包房了，女的在车里等着。他们没看见也没意识到我就在旁边。
I was sitting in my car with the window down waiting for my partner. This couple arguing pulled into be park next to me. They were arguing and she something along the lines of “ohh fuck sake Josh, I didn’t say you couldn’t stick it in my ass, I said just give me a little warning”. He just mumbled something and went into the bakery while she waited in the car. They never saw or noticed I was there.
我开着窗坐在车里等我伴侣。有一对夫妻一边吵架一边停到了我的车旁边。他们吵的内容包括“我真是操了，乔什，我没说不让你干我后门，我说你至少得先跟我说一声。”男的咕哝了几句就进面包房了，女的在车里等着。他们没看见也没意识到我就在旁边。
So not fucked up, but Josh.. just ask.
所以也没那么糟糕，但乔什……你确实该先说一声。
所以也没那么糟糕，但乔什……你确实该先说一声。
Business_Loquat5658
Said to my brother, who had just gotten home from hospital due to attempted suicide:
对我兄弟，刚因为自杀未遂从医院回到家，说的：
Said to my brother, who had just gotten home from hospital due to attempted suicide:
对我兄弟，刚因为自杀未遂从医院回到家，说的：
"Do you know how much that ambulance cost me?!"
“你知道给你叫救护车花了我多少钱？”
“你知道给你叫救护车花了我多少钱？”
-Dad
——我爸
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
——我爸
原创翻译：龙腾网 https://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处
WolfLarynx
I used to work in a maximum security state prison in Oklahoma. I heard a grizzled old convict tell me “The fatter they are, the sweeter the meat”.. while pointing toward a baby faced obese 22ish year old inmate.
我之前曾经在俄克拉荷马州的一个最高安保级别监狱工作。听见一个留络腮胡的老犯人，指着一个22岁左右，过度肥胖的娃娃脸犯人，跟我说，“长得越胖，肉越甜。”
I used to work in a maximum security state prison in Oklahoma. I heard a grizzled old convict tell me “The fatter they are, the sweeter the meat”.. while pointing toward a baby faced obese 22ish year old inmate.
我之前曾经在俄克拉荷马州的一个最高安保级别监狱工作。听见一个留络腮胡的老犯人，指着一个22岁左右，过度肥胖的娃娃脸犯人，跟我说，“长得越胖，肉越甜。”
TroyandAbed304
Was he a cannibal? Or just… being facetious?
他是吃过人吗？还是只是在开玩笑？
Was he a cannibal? Or just… being facetious?
他是吃过人吗？还是只是在开玩笑？
Zoutaleaux
Definitely talking about rape, homie. Who his victims of choice were.
肯定说的是强奸，兄弟。他就喜欢这样的。
Definitely talking about rape, homie. Who his victims of choice were.
肯定说的是强奸，兄弟。他就喜欢这样的。
Kibblesndicks
I’m a bartender. I’ve heard some wild ones. Two of my favorite.
我是个酒保。我听过不少很厉害的。举两个我最喜欢的。
I’m a bartender. I’ve heard some wild ones. Two of my favorite.
我是个酒保。我听过不少很厉害的。举两个我最喜欢的。
“ as hard as of tried this week I still haven’t managed to cheat on my girlfriend”
“我这星期真的很努力地在试了，但我还是没能出轨我女朋友。”
“我这星期真的很努力地在试了，但我还是没能出轨我女朋友。”
Girl to other girl: “ do you think I should shower before I go over there? I reached in my pants earlier and it smelled like oysters”
一个姑娘对另一个姑娘：“你觉不觉得我去那之前应该先洗个澡？我刚才伸进裤子摸了一下，闻起来像生蚝。”
一个姑娘对另一个姑娘：“你觉不觉得我去那之前应该先洗个澡？我刚才伸进裤子摸了一下，闻起来像生蚝。”
the_fuckshit
I overheard part of a conversation but then was told about it afterwards so I don't know if this counts
听到过一段对话的一部分，但后来他们直接跟我讲了，所以不知道算不算。
I overheard part of a conversation but then was told about it afterwards so I don't know if this counts
听到过一段对话的一部分，但后来他们直接跟我讲了，所以不知道算不算。
Im cutting the story short because i honestly can't remember all of it
我把故事说的简单一点，因为我真的记不住全部了。
我把故事说的简单一点，因为我真的记不住全部了。
My uncle was in the military and he was doing some weapon drills during the incident. They were using hand grenades and my uncles friend accidentally pulled a pin from one of the grenades on his belt. The grenade exploded setting off the other 4 grenades on his belt. My uncle then spent 2 hours picking up the clumps of skin that were once his friend
我叔叔在军队服役，事情发生的时候他在测试武器。他们在用手雷，我叔叔的朋友不小心把腰带上一个手雷的插销把出来了。手雷爆炸了，同时引爆了他腰带上剩下的四个手雷。然后我叔叔花了两个小时把他朋友的皮肤碎片捡起来。
我叔叔在军队服役，事情发生的时候他在测试武器。他们在用手雷，我叔叔的朋友不小心把腰带上一个手雷的插销把出来了。手雷爆炸了，同时引爆了他腰带上剩下的四个手雷。然后我叔叔花了两个小时把他朋友的皮肤碎片捡起来。
bang-a-rang47
Had a friends dad tell me about when he was in the service and a tank veered off the trail during night ops and ran through where some guys were sleeping. He said they used their sleeping bags as body bags because they had been turned into soup and the sleeping bags were containing it all.
有个朋友的爸爸曾经跟我讲过，他服役的时候，有辆坦克在一次夜间行动中开岔路了，碾过了几个人睡觉的地方。他说他们干脆就用他们的睡袋当裹尸袋了，因为都被碾成汤了，全在睡袋里盛着。
Had a friends dad tell me about when he was in the service and a tank veered off the trail during night ops and ran through where some guys were sleeping. He said they used their sleeping bags as body bags because they had been turned into soup and the sleeping bags were containing it all.
有个朋友的爸爸曾经跟我讲过，他服役的时候，有辆坦克在一次夜间行动中开岔路了，碾过了几个人睡觉的地方。他说他们干脆就用他们的睡袋当裹尸袋了，因为都被碾成汤了，全在睡袋里盛着。
Str4ng31
Heard an afghani soldier talk about how he had to snap his 2 year old sisters neck to prevent her from being raped by terrorists when he was young.
有个阿富汗士兵说他小时候不得不扭断两岁妹妹的脖子，不然会被恐怖分子强奸。
Heard an afghani soldier talk about how he had to snap his 2 year old sisters neck to prevent her from being raped by terrorists when he was young.
有个阿富汗士兵说他小时候不得不扭断两岁妹妹的脖子，不然会被恐怖分子强奸。
FroggiJoy87
More funny than fucked up, but once while at work (retail) some dudes were walking by and all I heard was "bro, you really should get her a birthday present, she did give you a really good blowjob". Lol, fair!
比起糟糕更算是搞笑吧，之前在零售业工作的时候有几个哥们路过，我就听见一句话，“哥们你真的应该给她买个好点的生日礼物，她给你的口活多牛逼啊。”操，在理！
More funny than fucked up, but once while at work (retail) some dudes were walking by and all I heard was "bro, you really should get her a birthday present, she did give you a really good blowjob". Lol, fair!
比起糟糕更算是搞笑吧，之前在零售业工作的时候有几个哥们路过，我就听见一句话，“哥们你真的应该给她买个好点的生日礼物，她给你的口活多牛逼啊。”操，在理！
Secret-Jacket-5376
Was in a bus and two cops came on and one of them got a call (I imagine from another cop). All I heard was that he couldn’t go to that call as he was going with someone else for another call. Then he proceed to say “yes man , I’m going with (name of the other cop) to this case I just got called apparently this girl just got rap3d and we have to go and see whats going on , because also someone else got stabbed in that area and there’s no one to check …” I was 15 y/o and two stops before we realized we were in the wrong bus but we couldn’t get out since were we were it was already dangerous so we had to stay until the bus did the last stop.
在坐公交，两个警察上了车，其中一个接到了电话（我猜应该是同事打给他的）。我听见他说他去不了，因为他得跟别人去另一个呼叫那里。然后他说，“对，我得跟（另一个警察的名字）去看我刚接的这个案子，这有个姑娘被强奸了，我们得去看看怎么回事，因为辖区里还有个被捅了，没有人手去看一眼……”我当时15岁，两站之前才想起来我们上错车了，但我们还出不去，因为已经进入危险区了，所以我们只能坐在公交车里，直到公交开到终点。
Was in a bus and two cops came on and one of them got a call (I imagine from another cop). All I heard was that he couldn’t go to that call as he was going with someone else for another call. Then he proceed to say “yes man , I’m going with (name of the other cop) to this case I just got called apparently this girl just got rap3d and we have to go and see whats going on , because also someone else got stabbed in that area and there’s no one to check …” I was 15 y/o and two stops before we realized we were in the wrong bus but we couldn’t get out since were we were it was already dangerous so we had to stay until the bus did the last stop.
在坐公交，两个警察上了车，其中一个接到了电话（我猜应该是同事打给他的）。我听见他说他去不了，因为他得跟别人去另一个呼叫那里。然后他说，“对，我得跟（另一个警察的名字）去看我刚接的这个案子，这有个姑娘被强奸了，我们得去看看怎么回事，因为辖区里还有个被捅了，没有人手去看一眼……”我当时15岁，两站之前才想起来我们上错车了，但我们还出不去，因为已经进入危险区了，所以我们只能坐在公交车里，直到公交开到终点。
很赞 1
收藏